Chapter 7

Natalie's Point of View

I didn't know for sure where I was going. I just could not stand to sit in classrooms for another two hours knowing that I was so close to my father. I couldn't sit there and patiently bide my time to think about it and make a rational decision, what if they moved again? I had to strike while the iron was hot. Not quite aware of where I was or how to get anywhere in particular, I decided to call Beth. I really hope she's not too mad, I thought, I wouldn't want to destroy our relationship after 5 days. However, Beth seemed really nice, motherly. Hopefully she would be somewhat understanding. Maybe I should tell her that my father didn't know that I was alive, but it turns out he's here. Before she got put in the system, her mother told her who he was and I knew that he was here. But in the end, I decided against it, I was too used to taking care of myself to all the sudden start to rely on anybody else.

When Beth got to where I was, which all I knew was that there were a lot of trees, she tried to talk to me, ask me what had happened. I looked at her and her eyes were so, so caring that I started to cry. This wasn't how a foster- mom was supposed to look at you, this is how your real mother looked at you. She wished so much that her mom hadn't died so long ago just for her. Searching for her father all these years had been so stressful that I wasn't sure it was worth it. I didn't even know if my father wanted to know me!

In the back of my mind, a little voice was telling me to get over it, I couldn't do anything about it now, and the deal had been made long ago. The little voice told me to start acting like I was 347 years old. But I wasn't! In reality, I was 15. I was a 15 year old girl with the desire to be loved and nurtured and cared for by her parents. A 15 year old girl who sometimes even wanted discipline from her parents because that was a form of love too. I wanted to have my dad hold me at night after a terrible nightmare. I just wanted someone to take care of me instead of taking care of myself. Everyone says that's what the foster parents are there for, but it's not. The foster parents are there to make sure you have a roof over your head and that you don't die of starvation, they weren't there to nurture and raise.

When Beth realized I wasn't going to say anything about it anytime soon, she started to go back home. When we got there, I simply went to my room and crawled under my covers and cried. He was here, my father was here. But I didn't want to make myself vulnerable by going to him. Because, I couldn't ignore the question: What if he doesn't want you?

After about an hour or so, I went to go wash my face off and calm down by reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. The story had always made me so happy. It was so fun to imagine being put into a world where nothing makes sense and that's completely okay, because, in a way, that was my life. If you were speaking in terms of science, I should have died hundreds of years ago.

Considering all the years I had walked the earth, I really did consider myself grown up most of the time; but in the back of my mind, I was sure that wasn't true. No one had ever taught me anything. My mother taught me to read when I was very young, and teachers taught me things from books, but no one ever taught me things like how to set a table or what to say in a complicated situation. Most things I just picked up over time or was a natural talent, but there were still a lot of things missing from my knowledge. Like how to start a campfire, how to raise a family, how to deal with siblings, or how to love and trust other people. That was a big one, one thing that I still had a lot of trouble with was trusting people because most times I felt like I had to take care of myself. No one was allowed to help me.

I was just starting my homework when Katie walked in. I was really grateful to have a friend like Katie. I'd never had someone like her before, someone I just automatically connected with.

"Hey, Natalie. What happened today? I mean, I understand it was your first day, I just want to know what made you so upset. Maybe I can help." She was always so sweet to me.

"I don't really want to talk about it right now, but I'll tell you tonight, kay?" I looked over and smiled at her. I really didn't want to talk about it, though. I had just finished crying.

"Okay!" She said brightly, "By the way, you might want to be on the lookout tomorrow, Mr. Derik was badmouthing that you ditched class on your first day, so I kind of flipped out on him because you were obviously upset and he really doesn't know anything" Both of us started to laugh while Katie gave me a play-by-play of what she had said to the teacher. I really did love her.

We both finished our homework and went downstairs to go get some coffee and just watch television for a while. We found some hilarious reality show and the coffee almost came out both of our noses. Then we ate dinner, and by the time we were getting ready to go to bed, I had almost forgotten how upset I'd been today when Katie came up to me and asked "Can we talk now?"

"Yeah, I did promise you later tonight." We both snuggled up on my bed and I told her almost everything. I told her how I knew that my father's name was Carlisle Cullen, but he didn't even know if I was alive. I told her how it kind of hurt to see he had adopted kids and didn't take care of his own daughter (even though I was well aware of what those 'kids' were and that my dad didn't really know I wasn't in a cemetery somewhere). Then I told her the worst part, that I was afraid of telling my father, in fear that he wouldn't want me. By the end, we were both crying.

"Oh, Natalie! I'm so sorry! I had no idea. Sometimes I imagine seeing my father again but I know that won't happen. I don't know what would happen if I did!" she whispered.

"Katie, I hope you don't mind me asking, but, what happened to your parents?" I did not especially want to bring it up, but I felt like it would bring us closer together.

"They're in the same place your mother is, Natalie. They died when I was six. I was an only child, so I had nowhere else to go." Surprisingly, this didn't make her cry harder than she had before like I imagined it would.

"Oh. Katie, I'm sorry, I wouldn't have said anything." I just looked at a spot on the comforter.

"Why?" she asked, "I'm not sorry. Yeah, sometimes I wish that I could be with them still, but I've been lucky enough to not move around to a lot of foster homes and I know that they're in a better place. Plus, if my parents hadn't died, I probably wouldn't have ever met you before." I just stared at her in awe. This girl had never made me feel so loved. Part of the reason she was okay with her parents being in a hole in the ground was because she was now sisters with me.

I simply started to cry more. I had never felt so much love in all of my lives. "Thank you, Katie" I whispered. We simply sat crying tears of joy that they had each other now.

"Just out of curiosity, how many times have you moved foster homes?" I asked.

"Two," she answered. Only two?

"Oh," was all I could say. How had she managed to only be in two foster homes? Natalie was moved almost every year.

"What about you?" she asked.

"Oh, I've moved foster homes every year for as long as I can remember. I've never really been able to stay in one place for a long time.

"Every year?" she asked, "no wonder it's been so hard for you." Katie looked at Natalie like she was considering telling her something, and after a few minutes decided to tell her what she had been thinking about.

"Want to know a secret?" she asked, her eyes getting just a little bit brighter.

"Always!" I smiled back.

"Last night, I went downstairs to get some water and I heard Beth and Vincent talking, they didn't hear me, so I hid in the hallway, anyways, they want to adopt us!" she whispered excitedly.

"Really?" I asked. No one had ever wanted to adopt me. Katie just nodded.

"I mean, if for some psychotic reason your dad doesn't want you, which he will by the way, we'll all be a family!"

We just talked and gossiped a little longer until we both fell asleep on my bed.

A/N: I wrote it first person! Please review and tell me if you like it more/less than the other way. If I get people telling me they liked it the old way better, I'll go back to writing in third person point-of-view. Anyways, like always, thank you so much for reading and reviews are always read excitedly and happily…love them! Thanks again!

P.S. Two things I forgot to mention: One, I was constantly finding myself referring to Natalie as she and Natalie, not I and my, so if you see a few mistakes, please forgive me. Writing in first person is pretty new to me (I've played around and wrote like, 1 paragraph before) Second, I couldn't remember if I had given Natalie and Katie's foster dad a name and I don't think I did, but if I did then just forget about it and remember him as Vincent from now on. Love Y'all!