A/N: Hi all! So, I'm kind of back. I've decided that this story will have 1- 2 more chapters and I will be ending it.

Sorry if this reads not all that great, I'm a bit rusty and it's been a while since I've written.

Enjoy!

Remember Me- Chapter Eighteen

-Stefan-

How do you write a letter to your son, when you know you're dying?

A goodbye letter, to be exact.

Where do I even start with this?

How do I tell my six-year-old little boy that I'm never coming back from this…

Honestly, I'm not really sure…..

He's already lost so much. His mom, Duke and now..He's losing me.

After Aubrey kidnapped Duke, they weren't able to find him. Damon and Katherine searched relentlessly, day in and day out for the damn dog and still, there wasn't any sign of him. I keep thinking that even after all this time- six months later- that he'll show up on our doorstep, wagging his tail and licking Ben's face. However, that has yet to happen and it breaks my heart. That dog- as much as I had hated him..Haha…We all know how much I hated him. I really did love him.

Overtime, that damn dog grew on me and he became family. He was my running partner, he kept me moving and busy after Elena left. He kept me company and dried my tears as Ben and I cried for her. He helped me make what loneliness Rebekah left in our old house in Florida, a bit more bearable. He made wherever I was, a real home. And, I miss him- terribly.

No matter what anyone says, that dog was family and I hope that one day, he finds his way back to them. To Elena and Ben because after I'm gone, they're going to need him more than anything….

My pen drops onto the ground as I exhale deeply. I'm getting weaker and I can feel it in my bones. The doctors have given me a few weeks. Matt's said that the cancer's in my bones now and there isn't much they can do. A bone marrow transplant isn't an option and the chemo pills aren't working as well as they used to. It's in my liver, my bones and nearly every inch of my body since it's metastasized throughout. These last six months have been hell. But, I haven't given up. I've tried to make their life as comfortable as possible, as safe as I could in the walls of this new home that Damon and Klaus built for them as I oversaw all of the details. I've tried to make the transition of losing me, as easy as possible on everyone. Including myself.

I've accepted my fate. I'm not angry anymore. I'm sad though. I still don't think it's fair that I won't be around anymore to be by his side….

It's been Ben and I for so long now that I can't imagine it being any different. Although, once I'm done. It's going to be. It's going to be Ben and Elena. I pray to god that they can figure it out on their own.

I'm going to miss them.

I'm going to miss her.

I'm going to miss waking up to her smiling face as she rolls over and inhales sharply. Catching her sing in the kitchen in her underwear as she softly belts out a ZZ Ward song while flipping pancakes for Ben before he wakes up in the early morning.. "Trying to be your hero…Trying to save the day..Trying to be your angel when you need to fly. But, my wings are broken..Can't touch the sky…Hold on please don't leave me, deep in my darkest hour….The lives that we end up with, ain't always what they chooseeee…Being down ain't no crime..In the name of love…"

I'm going to miss our son.

His smiling face and his sweet heart for a six-year-old.

I'm going to miss everything that involves him and it breaks my heart.

I don't want to die…I want to live. But, I know that there isn't any hope for me anymore. Matt says that the only option now is to be comfortable and live out the rest of my time with Ben and Elena by my side. So, that's what tonight is about. Closing my eyes, I feel the tears that I've been suppressing for quite some time now escape out of my eyes and slide down my heated cheeks. It's a little past 2 am and I know she's sleeping upstairs. I don't want to wake her though. Instead, I stretch out my brittle and weak feeling body on the couch and stare down at the small black box in front of me. I've been waiting for this moment. We had agreed to wait until I was better and my divorce with Aubrey was finalized. However, things didn't exactly turn out like that and now, I can't wait any longer.

I want Elena to be my wife.

I want her to carry my last name and I want her and Ben to be okay without me.

I know that the last part is going to take a while. But, I know that overtime that they're going to be okay.

It's late. But, my mind is racing and I can't seem to get the image of my family without me out of my head. It shatters my soul to know that my son will grow up without me. However, there's something comforting in knowing that he'll have Damon and Klaus as father figures in his life. As well as his grandfather and our mother. They'll be able to tell him stories about their crazy, bachelor of a son who fell in love with a salon owner's niece and never once regretted it. My parents will tell Ben how much I loved him and how much my world changed for the better, the day he came into it. The day I held him in my arms and promised him a safe, loving and bright future.

My heart's racing as I inhale sharply, coughing a little when I pick up the piece of paper left beside me on the coffee table and the pen that I had dropped earlier. I need to write this letter, I need to tell Ben, goodbye…

Dear Ben,

This is going to be the hardest thing that I've ever written and I don't know where to start.

I guess the first place to start is to tell you that I love you and that no matter what happens, I will always love you. And, I'm going to miss you terribly. I'm going to miss our night time chats and reading your favorite books. I'm going to miss our walks on the beach and at your grandfather's house. I'm going to miss our road trips and morning breakfast chases throughout the house because you don't want to go to school. Son, I'm going to miss everything about my life with you.

Baby boy, I want you to know that you've always meant the world to me and you always will. I know that losing me is going to be very hard to understand for a very long time. But, I've left some notes around the house for you and your mother to find after I'm gone and they'll be able to fill in some things that I won't be around to tell you about. They'll be able to fill in the missing pieces.

Ben, please…..

Please…

Take care of your mother.

I know that she hasn't been around for quite a long time and she's made her mistakes. But, I promise you that she loves you more than you will ever know and she's trying her hardest to make her amends for everything she's done wrong. She's a good person and you mean the world to her.

It's late at the moment, 2 am. And, you and mom are upstairs in our new beautiful house and you're sleeping, peacefully. I hope you're dreaming of the amazing future that you'll have one day. The amazing future that I know that you'll have. I'm sorry that I won't be around to see it.

Just remember son that I'll be looking down on you, every step of the way as you follow your dreams and make them come true.

I love you, Benjamin Salvatore.

I love you, my beautiful baby boy and I know that without a doubt in my mind that you'll make me so proud. It's been an honor being your father and watching you grow up into a funny, smart and beautiful little boy.

Love always,

Stefan….Your dad.

-Elena-

Stretching my hand across the bed, I realize that he's not beside me. It's early, a little past 6:30 in the morning and suddenly my heart stops. This whole thing is still a whirlwind. I can't wrap my mind around all of the changes within these last few months and I can't get myself to accept what's going to happen.

I'm going to lose him.

We're going to lose him and I can't-

I can't accept it. Honestly, I don't think that I ever will.

I've been praying a lot lately, to find some peace within our whole situation. But, part of feels like maybe my prayers haven't been heard or maybe no one's listening?

Closing my eyes tightly, I breathe in deep, feeling my lungs expand as if they're burning. Licking my bottom lip, I quietly send out one more plea.

"Please God, I know that I've made a million mistakes with Ben and with Stefan. But, please…Let us have a few more minutes, hours, days, months and years with Stefan…I'm begging you to give him more life instead of death. He doesn't deserve to die. He's still got so much more life to live and Ben needs him…I need him…Pl-…" My soft voice drifts off into the morning silence as I hear the door creak up and Stefan pops his in head into our bedroom quietly.

"I didn't mean to wake you." He says, walking over slowly and carefully steadying himself against our bed as he lays his hand across the bright pink and blue floral printed duvet cover on our king-sized mattress.

"You didn't. It's okay." I comment, leaning over and grabbing his hand into mine as he smiles over at me, worry evident in his eyes. I've been seeing it more and more lately, the worry. Understandably, it's been an everyday occurrence in our lives now, ever since Matt told us Stefan's prognosis.

"Why were you on the couch?" I ask him, my eyes taking in his frail state. His hair had fallen out and his eyes are sunken in, he's skin and bones. The chemotherapy trials stopped a few weeks ago and his hair been growing back slowly in patches. Despite it all, the Stefan that's sitting in front of me now is still the man that I fell in love with all those years ago. He's still the cocky real estate developer and owner that came into Jenna's salon and gave us both a hard time. He's still the one who I knew I was falling in love with when he kissed me for the first time after we ran after Duke who had been dumpster diving behind the bar that Caroline used to work at.

"Couldn't sleep." He shrugs, saying in such a nonchalant tone that I don't even question it anymore. He hasn't been able to get comfortable in the bed we've been sharing and lately the couch has been the most comfortable spot for him most nights.

"Elena," He pauses, nervousness within his tone as he intertwines our hands and smiles at me sweetly, his darkened green eyes filling a bit with a sudden spark of happiness.

"I wanted to ask you something, babe." He states, licking his bottom lip and biting down on it as he stares up at me again and fishes something out of his dark blue sweatpants.

I watch his every move carefully and then I notice it. The small black little box in his hands.

"Stefan…." I mutter out his name, suddenly my stomach feels like it's on a roller coaster ride that is going 100 miles per hour and I feel sick with a bundle of nerves.

"What is that!" He hears me exclaim, smirking a little, he lets go of my hand, moving away from me while slowly bending down on one knee as carefully as he can right in front of me.

"Elena…." His voice trails off as he grabs my hand and kisses the top of it, holding it gently as his thumb glides against my skin while he opens the box to revel a small 18k white gold Miadora engagement ring. One that I had been admiring over the last few weeks quietly.

"I know that you and I have had our ups and downs. But, we've managed to work our way out of them and back to each other. Elena, you're my best friend, you always have been. Even though it didn't start out like that for us. You became the one person in my life that I wanted to tell everything to and be with constantly. You're an amazing mother to our gorgeous and handsome little six-year-old son. You are my everything and I know that I don't have a lot of time left on this earth with you. But, whatever days I do have left, I want to send them as your husband and I want the rest of my days to be with you, as my wife. So, with all of that being said. Elena Gilbert, will you marry me?"

Wiping away my tears, I swallow down the lump forming in my throat. I don't want to lose him. I don't want him to die. But, I couldn't imagine being with him any other way in the end. "Yes! Yes, Stefan. I'll marry you." I lean down in front of him, cupping his tear stained cheeks in my own shaking hands as I stare into his eyes, leaning forward and kissing him softly on the lips. I'm going to miss this. Kissing him, holding his face in my hands and tracing every line of it. Memorizing the feel of his skin and the scent of him. I'm going to miss him, every day.

Backing away, I wipe away his tears with my thumbs as he does the same thing to me. We're both crying on the floor of our bedroom. We're both choking back sobs as we hold each other in silence on the bedroom floor. "I just got you back….I can't lose you again…That's why I asked…I want to leave this world, having loved you for the rest of my life." He says, his voice cracking as he holds me tighter and kissed the top of my head.

It's a bittersweet moment between us. Neither of us have spoken about it though. What the end of all of this is going to look like. How Stefan wants to be buried and how he wants to be remembered. What the last few days and weeks are going to be like for him, if he'll be in pain.

"I don't want you to die…I can't let you go." I cry out, clinging on to his frail and fragile frame as he wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head, moving away my hair from my forehead. "I know, baby. I know. We," He stops for a minute, trying to make sense of it all.

"We haven't really talked about it though and we need to." He tells me, I move away from him for a moment, leaning my back against the bed as he glances down at the ground, taking my hand into his again, holding it tightly and not letting go. Stefan slips my engagement ring on my hand as we both stare down at it. Clearing his throat, in a soft tone he says. "When, the time comes. I want to be cremated and I'd like my ashes spread out near the ocean. The beach where we first met, near Jenna's old salon…In Florida." He tells me, my eyes welling up with tears as I remember that first day that I had met him. Duke sitting in his car, chewing up his seat belt as Stefan walked into our lives and changed my life forever.

"I also want part of my ashes left here, near the house. So, that you and Ben can visit me whenever you'd like." He adds in, tears falling down his face as he sniffles and he lifts his hand up to caress my cheek.

"Can you respect my wishes?" He asks. I nod, I know how important this is for him.

"Okay." I comment with a shaky tone.

"There's also one more thing…" He says, kissing my lips as he backs away and gets up slowly. Stefan takes my hand into his, without a word, I follow him into the hallway as he stands in front of Ben's bedroom door and turns towards me.

"If he asks about me, in the future. Let him know that I did the best I could raising hi-" Placing my finger onto his lips, I've got tears in my eyes and I can feel them sliding onto my cheeks as I stammer out my words. "I'm going to tell him that you were the best damn father to him that you could have been. I'm going to tell him the truth about everything. He's your whole world and you were so proud of him….I'll tell him that you loved him more than words will ever describe and that you were a way better parent and role model than I ever will be. I'm going to tell him how amazing and wonderful of a human being you are." My words are honest. Stefan will forever be the better parent. I just wasn't around for Ben as much and even though we both know why, I carry the guilt with me every single day. The loss of him will hit us both hard and it's going to be devastating.

"I just want him to remember me." Stefan says, his voice breaking as he looks past me and into Ben's room. He's sleeping on his side, a stuffed brown bear in his arms as Stefan and I stand together outside of his bedroom and watch him. I place my arm around Stefan's back, helping him steady himself as he leans his head against my shoulder and exhales a shaky breath. "I love you so much, Elena." He says without a doubt in his tone as he wraps his arms around me tightly and I hold on back to him just as tightly when I say "I love you too, Stefan Salvatore. I love you more than you will ever know and I'm going to love you forever."

The sound of Stefan's cell phone going off in our bedroom breaks the moment between us as Stefan goes to answer it and I stand there listening to him talk to someone.

"Yeah, okay. That sounds good. We'll see you all this Friday." He says, quickly hanging up as he turns to me and places his cell phone on to the bed. "That was Katherine. She said that her and Damon are coming to visit, to update us on things….Damon wants to spend some time with me too. Caroline and Klaus are coming as well, the kids are all being babysat by a cousin from Katherine's side of the family, in case things don't go so well for me while they're here. They don't want the kids being here for that. My dad's too old to travel. So, he won't be coming either and my mom will be coming later."

"Stefan…" My voice trails off. But, I'm unsure of what to even say. How do we both come to terms that his health isn't getting any better and in that a few weeks, days or even hours, that he won't be with us anymore?

We live minute by minute now.

"I know. But, my brother thinks it's better this way. They're coming to say their goodbye's, Elena." He states in a knowing tone. One that makes my heart sink into my stomach and when I look at him, I know in my heart that the end is near too.

"That's why I think we should do it today. Since we're living on borrowed time." He says suddenly, cracking a small smile as I tilt my head to the side and give him a confused look. What's he even talking about?

"What are we going to be doing today?" I ask him, attempting to clarify his words as he points down to my hand and I remember my newly placed engagement ring.

"You. Me. Our son. And, city hall. It's not going to be the big and lavish wedding that I had always imagined you and I would have. But, considering the circumstances, I think that low-key and simple would be nice too." He tells me as I take a step forward, nodding my head while I grab his hand into mine and lace our fingers together. "I'd love that. I couldn't imagine anything better than marrying you with our son by our side." I comment, smiling at him as he holds me tighter and exhales deeply. "Me neither. It's going to be an amazing day, Elena. The day you finally become my wife."

A/N: Next up...Stefan and Elena get married! 3