AN: It's a little longer than usual because it's two shorter chapters put together. Hope that's okay! x
19. Strike!
H.
I should have seen this coming.
"Okay, let's walk."
He kissed her cheek and took her hand, leading her down the street. Hermione's heart began to hammer as she took one last look at the tall, cloaked figure that was illuminated only in outlines by the neon light of a 'closed' sign in a shop front. It was the face of the figure that most frightened her, or rather, the lack thereof.
"They've been following us from the theatre", Severus said. "Could you see who it is?"
"I think they're wearing a mask…" she said, in a hurried whisper that came fractured and terrified.
That can't be Cressida. Surely? Is someone helping her?
"I don't want you to do it just yet…" he said again quite calmly, as he ran his fingers through her hair, his body still very much firmly between Hermione and the figure that stood behind them. "But can you access your wand quickly?"
"Yes", she said. "Severus, they're following us again."
"I know," he said. "Keep acting like you haven't a care in the world."
How? How the hell do I do that?
"I need to figure out who we're dealing with."
"Legilimency", she said, desperately. "Can't you read their mind?"
"Yes, but I don't know if I can do so undetected. I don't know how skilled they are. An accomplished wizard will know I'm doing it. Right now we have the element of surprise. I won't put you in danger by giving ourselves away."
"But you have a plan?" she asked.
"I do", he said. "We're going to split up, okay?"
Her hands tightened and her knuckles went white as she grabbed the sleeve of his coat.
"I have watched enough scary movies to know that's the worst thing we can do – fuck! Severus…" she whispered, "they're closing in."
"It's going to be fine. Listen to me, Hermione", he said decidedly. "I want you to apparate back home and—"
"No way!" she snapped. "I'm staying with you."
"I can't think straight if I'm worried about you," he said. "Go home."
She narrowed her eyebrows.
"Please", he said. "I don't have time to argue with you!"
"Then don't," she said.
"Fuck! Fine. Odds are that whoever this is, wants me, and not you…"
"Because of the letters," she said.
But the letters are from Cressida… this isn't… it can't be…
"I'm going to lead them away from you. I want you to head in the opposite direction but hang back once you're out of sight."
"But—"
"Please don't argue with me."
Severus' voice came quiet and quick – so quick and so quiet, in fact, that she would be forgiven for thinking that he was frightened. She wasn't entirely sure she heard every word but she understood the gist and so when he pushed her away and forced a hearty laugh, she made herself laugh too.
"I'll see you back at mine, babe", Severus said - his manner, his words and his tone all belonged to someone else.
Babe, she thought. How ridiculous.
She wanted to laugh, except nothing about the situation was funny. Anyone who knew him would know that something wasn't right, and yet he continued.
"Don't keep me waiting", he said, in what she assumed was supposed to be a playful voice.
It didn't suit him.
She nodded and Severus let go of her hand as he stepped off the curb and turned down into an alleyway. She turned her back and continued down the street. She kept her neck bent so that it looked as though her eyes were on the ground but they weren't; they were on him – on Severus – she would always have his back. She waited to see the figure to come into view as it followed behind him, but it didn't. Whoever it was had hung back. They weren't following Severus.
We're okay, Hermione thought. False alarm. They aren't following us.
Then came a voice inside her mind, unidentifiable but clear as day.
Maybe they aren't following him, it said, but that doesn't mean they're not following—
And it was then that she heard footsteps behind her.
Run, the voice said.
And she did.
:
S.
Fuck. Fuck! Where are they? They should be here by now. What are they waiting for?
Severus stood with his back flat to the industrial bins that lined the end of the alleyway. His fingers were wrapped tightly around his wand, which he held aloft, pointed as though it was cocked and loaded, and yet, nobody came.
If they're not here then…
Hermione.
He ran through the alley, back to the cobbles and his shoes, his fucking brand new, slippery shoes that Hermione insisted he wore so that he blended in with the muggles. When had he ever cared about blending in? When had he ever agreed to step out into muggle London? He kept doing things for her that were completely out of character.
And look where it has gotten you.
Where is she?
Hermione was nowhere to be seen, and he continued to argue with her in his head – she was so fucking stubborn. She should have gone home. If she had just listened to him! But no, she had to prove herself.
Fuck, Hermione. Where are you?
Fuck it. I can't risk getting into his mind, but I can get into yours.
"Legilimens," he said, tapping his wand in his pocket.
I'm sorry, he thought, as he navigated through her mind so that he could see, almost literally through her eyes.
What he saw hit him in the gut with a punch so hard, he physically staggered. Hermione was looking at the cloaked figure – dressed so familiarly his stomach churned – the mask, the robes…
A Death Eater?
All the Death Eaters are dead, Severus, or in Azkaban. As for the Dark Lord… there is nobody lto eft follow.
No, this wasn't a Death Eater, he was sure of it. It was someone who wore those robes – wore that mask – to fool and to frighten. It was working. He was scared – his sweaty palms and his stabbing heart – he couldn't deny it. Hermione was frightened too. He thought he saw her life flash before her eyes. Then everything was him – nothing but thoughts of she and Severus and he knew that she felt that he was there.
I'm coming for you, he tried to tell her and he fancied that she understood because all at once there were flashing images in front of his eyes. A green door, a hanging sign above them, a frosted window. A pub. Then the images were street signs and road markings and identifiable landmarks.
I know where you are. I'm not far.
He broke the connection and tried to focus, but he was besieged by images - fears and threats and memories – memories, for the most part of Lily, wide-eyed and completely motionless.
Not again!
If anything happens to Hermione...
FOCUS, SEVERUS. FUCK!
He curled his fingers again around the length of his wand, closed his eyes, took a deep breath and with a crack of his wand, he disapparated.
:
H.
Hermione held both of her hands in front of her. One was clutched around her wand and pointed at the person behind the mask, and the other hand was upright and flat, in warning.
Stop.
"I do wish Snape was here, but we can't always get what we want, can we?" the cloaked figure said, in a voice that was not natural.
It was affected in some way, almost robotic – yet the figure held a wand in their hand and so Hermione knew that this was not some random encounter with a muggle. This was a witch or a wizard, and they meant to do her harm. Why else would they cover their face and disguise their voice? Why hadn't she taken the letters more seriously?
Why didn't Severus take them more seriously?
Severus had been sure that Cressida didn't pose a threat, but he had also been reluctant to believe it was her in the first place. They had to be connected. It was too much of a coincidence not to be. This was personal. This was an escalation. It was someone making good on a threat.
"I warned him," the voice spat. "And I warned you too."
He, she decided, it must be a man.
"What do you want from me?" she asked him, as she started to formulate a plan.
Distract him.
As far as Hermione could see it, she had three options. She could fight. She could continue to distract him and run. Or she could continue to distract him and wait for Severus. As her eyes drew around and down the empty street, she knew she had little chance of running from him without using her magic and she could just as quickly hex him.
Fine, she thought, I may as well fight, just as Severus stepped into view – dark and livid and dangerous.
:
S.
Fuck you, he thought as he pointed his wand at the cloaked figure and Hermione's eyes flashed towards him. He nodded to her as he moved further into view. The figure turned on its heel to face him – not that he could see their face. Severus wasn't ashamed to admit that not being able to see the person's face was a little unnerving. Simply because he didn't know what or who he was up against. At least he knew who it couldn't be… The Dark Lord. Nor could it be Dumbledore. So unless Flitwick sat upon Minerva's shoulders under that cloak, he was bound to be a more accomplished dueller than whoever it was.
That said, even though Severus could typically run rings around him, Lucius had managed to knock him back once or twice while they trained together all those years ago. It all depended on how focused Snape was, and how fucking focused could he be when he could still smell Hermione's perfume in his hair and taste the cranberry juice from her vodka on his tongue?
This was it. This is everything that is wrong with being in love.
I need to focus.
"What do you want?!" Hermione repeated, and as Severus' attention momentarily flitted behind him, the masked witch or wizard used the distraction as the perfect time to strike, and threw a knockback jinx at him, but Severus could only laugh as he deflected it. Whoever this was, was not someone who duelled often; they neither seemed to know what they were doing, nor to really want to do it.
Whoever it was that wore those robes did not deserve to.
If you dare to wear that costume, you had better be willing to die for it.
"Just back off", Severus said, holding his wand in front of him. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You should have just kept your hands to yourself", the inhuman voice said, and although it sounded as though it meant to come as a threat, the voice shook. "You can't go around hurting people without consequence."
"Okay", he said. "I'm sorry, let's talk."
He almost said, 'let's talk, Cressida' – the affected voice, the personal message, the fact that she was hardly willing to hurt him – it had to be her.
She would never hurt me, he thought, just as a shot of green light came out of the wand opposite him. He jumped aside by instinct, but the killing curse did not form fully unless the person was truly intent on murder, and so the green light popped and fizzled like a cheap muggle firework. But in cases where there was no intent at all, there would be no light. Green light, no matter how pathetic, was green light. This person meant to kill him. How many times would it take before they really meant it?
Oh fuck this!
"Accio mask!"
Severus stared at the face before him. A man with dry, chin-l ength greying hair, around his age.
"Who the fuck are you?" Severus bellowed, as he held his wand stiff in his hands, and stepped towards the wizard.
The wizard shot again, that pathetic green light buzzed once, twice and Severus growled his frustration but could not hide his ego.
"You have to fucking mean it!"
Hermione moved from behind Severus, to his side and although usually, someone joining him in an assault would make him feel more powerful – an excuse to show off his skill- it only made him feel more vulnerable and he couldn't quite understand why. As the wizard stood to his feet and Severus prepared himself to duel again, there was something in the way that the man held himself that told Severus that something had shifted.
"Expelliarmus!" Hermione snipped confidently, but the wizard deflected it.
"Hermione," Severus warned, "back off! I don't need you to fight my battles for me…"
She nodded and his eyes followed her as she moved behind him. He was distracted, just for a second. But it was long enough. That was when he saw her face contort and her body fell to the slick pavement as she screamed. He'd heard that scream before. He'd inflicted that scream before. He'd made that scream before.
Not again. You swore that you'd keep her safe.
Never turn your back, Severus. You know better.
How many times must you learn this lesson!?
Severus' fingers tightened around his wand and as the wizard cried "Crucio!" Severus blasted curse after curse, after hex, after curse. He did not take pleasure in it, as he once may have. But neither did he feel guilty.
The thing that stilled his heart her silence. She was no longer in pain. He didn't dare think what that might mean. He could not focus on what might be; only what was.
What if she's—
Fuck! Focus, Severus!
She'll be fine.
It took all his strength not to use an Unforgivable Curse on the man but he wasn't going back to Azkaban. He wouldn't be separated from Hermione, not after all of the dog shit they'd waded through to get to each other.
She's okay, he told himself. She'll be okay. She's been through worse.
Focus.
Severus continued his assault until the wizard lay on the ground in front of him and he bore down on the cloaked figure. He lifted his wand, and narrowed his eyes.
Disarm him.
Kill him!
No. Disarm only.
Right.
Severus lifted his wand but no sooner had he opened his mouth, he heard a sound from behind him that tore through him as a tidal wave of panic. A voice, her voice, so small, so broken, so frightened.
"Severus, I…," she said.
'Severus, I…' what, Hermione?
She's alive. She's fine. Focus on him.
A thousand thoughts rushed through his mind as he stared at the person in front of him. He jabbed his wand, but his thoughts clouded until all he could process were 'what if's and the fog descended until it was all he could see.
'Severus, I'm fine'? 'Severus, I'm hurt'?
Stop it. Focus.
'Severus, I love you'? 'Severus, I don't love you. I've never loved you. You have let me down. You swore you'd keep me safe'?
Please. Focus.
'Severus, I'm frightened'? 'Severus, I don't think I'm going to make it…'?
His stomach sank.
Not again. Not like Lily.
Focus! Protect her.
Lily.
Severus turned to face Hermione, who clung to her chest but she was at least standing. She was winded and shaken, but otherwise, she appeared unharmed. He felt his fingers relax around his wand as Hermione said,
"Severus I think we need to contact the authorities… they can sort this out."
Snape nodded.
Then just as quickly, Hermione's eyes flew open and the world moved as though in slow motion as his heart sank and his body slammed to the ground. His chin grazed the tarmac as he skidded and he heard the whooshing of spells passing over his head. He pulled himself from the ground and growled and groaned with the pain of moving as he stood to full height and turned to face the man, but he was no longer in sight.
Fuck.
FUCK!
"He's gone," she said, "it's okay."
"It is not okay!" he snapped. "I shouldn't have turned my back. I never fucking turn my back! This is your fault! You did this! You should have apparated home like I asked."
"Severus?"
"No, Hermione. God, you're so stubborn! This is exactly what I was afraid of! I am a brilliant wizard- do you realise that? I am a master duelist!"
He could hear himself – he was fucking losing it and he couldn't keep control of his anger no matter how hard he tried. He was a wild animal howling at her for no fault of her own and yet he kept going.
"If I had been in my right mind I would have disarmed him in a matter of minutes. But I can't fucking think when I'm distracted. Do you know how I have survived for as long as I have?"
"Enlighten me," she said irritably.
"I have looked out for myself and myself only."
"That's not true", Hermione snapped. "You looked after Harry!"
"I didn't care about Potter! Quite the opposite. I didn't even bother trying to get close to him, lest I see too much of Lily and feel my fucking heart break all over. And so, I acted as though he was just like his father – all arrogance and attitude."
Hermione raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms.
"Fine. But what's done is done. We're both okay, aren't we?"
God, she's insufferable.
And she's safe.
"You are not listening to me! This is what I was afraid of," he said, "… that I'd be vulnerable, just as I was when I was a teenager. I didn't protect myself… just as I couldn't protect her."
"Severus, what are you talking about?"
"I just want to be alone, Hermione!"
"You can talk to me…" she said as she grazed his hand with hers, meaning to take it "…about anything."
He snatched his away.
"I'm done asking you nicely. Just piss off, would you? I don't want to—"
"No!" she snapped. "We're not doing this again. You don't have to tell me whatever the hell is going on, but you will not push me away this time."
"Hermione", he growled in warning.
"Severus!" she sniped back.
She's infuriating. Why is she so damn stubborn?
"I'm not going anywhere. There is nothing you can say that will make me walk away from you."
Oh, I'm sure I could think of something. Something that has proven to work very well in the past. She never looked at me the same way again, in fact.
Her eyes moved across his face and he was sure that he was scowling. He tried to straighten his face, making a harsh line with his lips, no curve in either direction.
"Yes," she said. "Even that."
"What?"
"Mudblood," she said. "That's what you were thinking, isn't it?"
Lily.
Don't do this again.
"Hermione, I—"
She smiled at him as though not a bad word had been spoken between them, as she held out her hand again, to take his.
"I'm starting to understand you," she said. "You lash out when you feel threatened, or cornered, or frightened…"
… Or humiliated.
"Right," she said, "come on. I will force you if I have to."
"Where are we going?" he asked, forgetting for a moment his anger.
"Malfoy Manor."
H.
Narcissa on the arm of the armchair in which Severus sat. She placed her hand on his shoulder and Hermione felt a pang of something akin to jealousy.
"I'm so glad you're both okay," Narcissa said. "That awful woman—"
"It wasn't Cressida!" Severus groaned irritably. "It was so obviously not Cressida."
"She could have used a Polyjuice potion," Hermione said.
Severus rolled his eyes and folded his arms.
"Yes, thank you for the potions education, Professor Granger," he said sourly.
"Fine! Who do you think it was?"
He shrugged as he slumped into the armchair of the Malfoy's drawing room.
"I don't know. Like I've told you, I didn't recognise him. But given that we're suggesting Polyjuice, perhaps we should consider someone else who might have reason to try to kill us."
He spoke pointedly. She understood what he meant.
"You think it was Ron?!"
"I think we should at least consider him."
"Rubbish", Hermione said as she paced the room, traipsing mud across the rug.
"Hermione, love. Why don't you sit down?"
Hermione grimaced and nodded, but still, she didn't sit.
"Why won't you even consider that it could be Weasley?" Severus asked.
"Because Ron can be a piece of shit, sure. But he's not crazy!"
"Ha! I beg to differ," Snape said. "You didn't see him at the restaurant after you broke up…"
"What? When did you—"
"That's enough!" Lucius sniped, standing to his feet. "We can stand here and play who has the craziest ex, or we can…"
"Yes! Let's play that", Draco interrupted, excitedly. "Luna Lovegood! I win."
"You dated Luna?!" Jessica and Hermione both asked in unison – even their tone of surprise echoed perfectly.
"Luna was odd, not crazy", Narcissa said, "I have you all beat on crazy."
She stared at Severus and raised her eyebrows suggestively.
"Who?" he asked. "Me?"
"No, not you, love. Tobin… before you. I told you, didn't I, Severus? I saw this coming. Sometimes you hurt someone and they lash out."
"You've seen this happen before?" Hermione asked.
Narcissa nodded.
"Before I met Severus, I was with a guy who was… he wasn't very—"
"He was a piece of work," Severus said. "He couldn't accept that she didn't want to be with him anymore."
"He's the reason I became a Death Eater," Narcissa told her, with a grim smile – Hermione assumed she was the only person present who didn't know this story. "He thought I was being unfaithful. I wasn't, but it didn't matter. He became violent. That's what I told Severus. I've seen this kind of behaviour before… He sent threatening letters too when I ended things with—"
"Letters?" Lucius asked. "Nobody said anything about any letters?"
:
S.
"Threatening messages made of newspaper cuttings," Severus said with a shrug. "Nothing sophisticated."
As Lucius turned to face him, Severus saw that there wasn't a trace of humour on his face. Not even a note of his typical arrogance or cockiness. He was entirely serious. Severe, even.
"You knew about this?" Lucius asked Narcissa – his voice, razor sharp. "You should have said something."
"I'm sorry, Darling," Narcissa said as she moved from Severus' side to her husband's. "I didn't know whether it was a secret or—"
"You two and your fucking secrets", Lucius snipped, as he stalked across the room and snatched open the top drawer of the bureau.
He pulled out an envelope, and from the envelope, he drew a piece of parchment, that he turned over to reveal a note – a threat – formed from magazine clippings.
"Did it, by any chance look like this letter?", Lucius asked, slapping the parchment down onto the table so hard that it landed with an audible crack.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE
YOU WILL PAY
"Yes", Hermione said, taking it and studying it. "Exactly like this."
"Almost word for word," Severus said.
He scowled and his stomach knotted.
"Delivered by a large grey owl?"
Lucius nodded and looked at Hermione.
"Why would Cressida take issue with Mr— with Lucius?" she asked.
"Like you said," Severus said, feeling himself droop into the chair as he spoke, "we don't know anything about Cressida so who knows…"
"I don't know her", Lucius said, emphatically. "The first time I met her was when you brought her around for dinner."
Severus' eyes shot towards Hermione who raised her eyebrow but did not say anything.
"You met Weasley though…" Severus said smugly.
"I figured the note was from someone who was angry I was out of Azkaban… I got plenty like it when I was first released. I was in the Prophet a couple of weeks ago and I received the letter the next day…"
"Ron reads The Prophet religiously," Hermione said as she swallowed the lump in her throat. "And he hates you, Lucius. He hates us all."
:
H.
At dinner, Hermione made conversation with Jessica and even Draco, which to her surprise came easily, as Severus sat in silence beside her. She was determined not to have Snape piss all over everyone's evening, even if he was determined to dampen hers.
Although she knew that objectively it was rather odd to be eating dinner with the Malfoys, she couldn't say that she felt even slightly out of place. Narcissa was the perfect hostess, which seemed to be well-accepted as the norm and not something she was doing for Hermione's benefit. Lucius, she was refreshed to find, was quite able to make her laugh and keep up with her when she turned to more intellectual topics of conversation.
It was nice to be a part of a family, she thought. It had been so long since she had been. She hadn't thought about the Weasleys in such a long time, and now that she did, she found that she didn't miss them as much as she had anticipated. Her life was different now, but it was happier than it ever was – even as she looked at the miserable wart that sat beside her, she couldn't help but smile. He looked up from his souffle, and met her eyes, as she placed her hand on his thigh. She felt his hand meet hers, and she huffed as he brushed her hand away, before returning to the conversation with Jessica.
He'll come around. He always does.
"Hermione…", he said eventually, "I know I'm being an arse—"
This acknowledgement didn't accompany an apology. He excused himself from the table, and Lucius stood too, throwing his napkin onto his chair and shared a look of understanding with his wife.
"Sort him out, love," she said.
:
S.
"Are you quite done?" Lucius asked, shoving a glass of brandy into Severus' hand.
Severus sipped from the glass and glared at Lucius.
Oh here we fucking go.
"That girl is too good for you."
"Of course she is, look at her!"
"No," Lucius snipped, "not that. She's patient with you. You've treated her like shit ever since you got back, and she has still sat at your side. Narcissa would have walked out on me for less."
"You don't know what you're talking about," he said, but he knew as he said it that actually, Lucius knew exactly what he was talking about.
He'd swept Narcissa off her feet and they'd spent the last thirty years madly in love with each other, and Severus had spent that time miserable and alone.
With good reason.
There is no reason good enough.
What would I do without her?
"I don't know how to be what she needs."
"I don't want to lose her," Severus said, "but I'm completely distracted when I'm with her. I'm always more concerned about her than I am about myself. Her safety, her well-being, her happiness becomes the most important thing in the world, I can't live like that…"
"Why not!?"
"Because it puts me in danger… like tonight."
Lucius knocked back his glass of brandy and opened the bottle to pour another.
"You're infuriating. You didn't come to any harm, did you? She was there for you, wasn't she? She had your back?"
"And what if she wasn't there?"
"She bloody won't be if you keep treating her like she's a detriment to you. She is not. She is the best thing that has happened to you in thirty years."
"I know," Severus conceded, begrudgingly.
Damn these bloody Malfoys.
"You know, when I got Lily killed—" Severus started.
"Oh, bullshit! You did nothing of the sort," Lucius snapped.
Severus was taken aback by the severity of his tone. He'd never heard Lucius speak this way.
"What?"
"You begged for her life," Lucius said. "So what? I… I told The Dark Lord the prophecy could refer the Potters… I had gotten wind that she was pregnant… That was me…"
Severus sank back and dropped the glass from his lips. Lucius seemed to cower in his chair.
"I'm so sorry, Severus."
"I had always assumed that pleasure was Bella's. Well... never mind. He would have found out eventually."
Lucius' face flashed red.
"Are you serious?!" he asked, slamming his glass onto the table. "You think that you're responsible for her death when in fact, you tried to save her life and yet, you don't blame me?"
"Of course not."
"Why not? Why aren't you angry with me? Be angry, Severus. I would be. I have kept this secret from you all these years. I did not know you loved Lily, of course, but I did have a hand in taking your love from you. I took Narcissa too, you recall?"
"Mmm."
"That's twice," Lucius said as his eyebrows drew together and his mouth became a straight line. "All I can ask is your forgiveness, and I… I need it, Severus."
Severus placed his glass on the table next to Lucius' and closed his hands together in his lap.
"Listen to me. You didn't take love from me. Neither Lily nor Narcissa really loved me in the way that I wanted them to. I saw the way you and Narcissa looked at each other. I knew when they carted me off the Azkaban that she would turn to you. Just as I knew that when Lily and I broke up that she would run off to Potter. I have always let the women I love walk away from me and I have hoped to the Gods that they would return to me, but they never have. Not until Hermione. She loved me and I loved her – God, I love her - and I let her go back to Weasley time after time. But I was so afraid that she wouldn't come back to me, that I deserted her before she even had the chance to reject me, but she did, Luce. She came back for me, every time."
I've been such an idiot.
"I'm sorry, I have to go find Hermione," Severus said as he hastily stood up. "Lucius, I am not angry with you. I was put out at first, of course, but when I see you and Narcissa together, I could never imagine it any other way. You're my friend. I know your heart. And I forgive you."
Lucius' face changed then. His mouth curved into an uncertain but genuine smile.
"You do love me then, old boy," Lucius asked. "We are friends?"
"What are you talking about? We've been friends for years."
"That's the first time you've ever said it," Lucius said. "All these years and I wondered if you resented me, or if you were simply friends with me out of convenience because you are so close with Narcissa. You have your secrets – you always kept me on the outside – I felt… I didn't know if— Oh, I don't know what I'm trying to say."
Severus threw back his whiskey and sighed.
"You know when The Dark Lord tried to kill me, and Hermione took care of me, I thought about you. In fact, I heard your voice for weeks afterwards; you kept me going when I was losing the will to live."
"What did I say?"
"You were a sarcastic little pervert most of the time, truth be told," Snape said.
Lucius puffed up his chest, playfully as he said, "naturally."
"It was you that made me see Hermione in a different way. Combine that your pep talks and Narcissa's meddling and I have you both to thank for everything that I have now. I'm so glad you took Narcissa, Lucius. And now, I really do have to go speak with Hermione. Just as I have held you at arm's length, I have done the same with her and I need to talk with her… I need to explain why I've been so cruel and such a coward. I need to tell her—"
Severus sighed.
"I need to tell her everything."