Chapter 15

Rin stumbled through the forest. The trees weren't the only thing cutting her. The wind on this side was unbearable. Cold and stabbing. The rain didn't differ. Shrubs and plants alike jabbed her with various thorns and leaves. The rain fell harder than earlier, forceful and chilly. All she had to shield herself from the elements was what she was wearing. Short capris and a hoodie.

Rin hated the way things cut into her, detested the quick healing. Each time the process repeated it reminded her she wasn't normal, possibly not even human. But she had to listen to the voice. It had called to her.

Rin, come to me. I have need of you.

It was not her own voice, or the voice of another self. Her destructive self. No, this voice was different. A compelling male voice. One she was used to yet, couldn't remember. One she didn't defy, never defied. One she didn't question or deny. One she'd always faithfully obeyed. One she loved and hated.

Her body grew warm every time it spoke. Calling her, summoning her. As if her body had been programmed, she followed walking in the direction of the voice. She'd attempted to twist her body, to veer another direction; but it was impossible.

However strong the grip she thought she'd possessed on herself, hadn't been strong enough. She no longer controlled her body and instead walked. Trapped in an empty shell of herself, forced to watch from the inside. A reoccurring feeling she commonly received.

"No!" she screamed at herself. "This isn't the way to go, Len will worry." Her body never halted or faltered for even a second at the words. This new voice was overpowering, too intimidating to defy. It overshadowed her voice, overthrew Len's voice and took reins like it was used to; commanding her.

Do not defy me this time around.

Her whole body shuddered and her knees went weak. They crumpled and she fell to them hard. Her hands sunk into wet dirt and she shivered. She couldn't move and a single tear fell from her eye.

"I didn't...I wouldn't...I'd never-" All of it poured from her mouth, but she couldn't finish the sentence. She was afraid, and she couldn't understand why. The sheer terror she felt from the voice froze her.

"You're important to me Rin, but even you like the others must have consequences." Suddenly she wasn't outside anymore but on glossy tile floor. The man, the voice shook his head and walked over to his broad windows, all tinted a sickening black. They were like one-way mirrors, only see-through from his side.

Next to the windows was a shelf neatly filled with porcelain dolls. Each had a name all similar to faces she swore she knew. However her memory was covered by a foggy thick wall that couldn't be broken. It dodged her attempts at remembering. She'd put it there herself.

"Please Rin," she spoke to herself. "I wanna remember." For a few seconds the silence of the rain was all she received, but slowly the rest of the images flowed through her. Rin swallowed hard, she could already feel something coming to her.

"Don't let him break it..." escaped her mouth. She had no recollection of saying it herself and bit down on her lip to keep anymore from coming out.

The man searched for a name, her name. With a sad disappointed sigh he raised a doll off the shelf. Rin looked down at her hands, her whole body was shaking and convulsing. She was afraid, petrified.

"Don't remember, you're better off forgetting." A voice spoke in her head. Rin did nothing to block the incoming thoughts. She'd asked for them and would take any punishment that followed. She watched as he let the doll fall, it smashed into hundreds of unrepairable shards.

Rin remembered the unbearable excruciating pain that shot through her. All the screaming, the screaming that was her own. Falling to the floor, breaking out in several uncontrollable spasms. The pain. Tears leaked from her eyes. Her head pounded, felt as if it'd explode, was exploding. Expanding to the very edges of her skull.

"Remember this the next time you disobey me Rin!" The man had screamed and threw another in his sudden rage. The pain doubled. Unmeasurable, unthinkable pain. The burning, the screaming, her unstoppable screaming. The foam that had left her mouth, followed by the blood. Her very eyes rolling into the back of her head, almost capable of seeing her own mind.

Her very lungs had felt like they'd ripped inside of her. No air entered her throat. Her legs bent at impossible angles and the pained tripled. She felt as if it had gone on for hours, for so long, too long, and he'd just stood there and watched. Then he'd come over his loafers clicking against tile.

"Do not disobey me," he'd said through cold indifference. No emotion, no pity or sympathy of any kind. No regret or guilt for any of the pain he was causing her. She'd reached up to him and he'd kicked her hand away.

Then he'd bent down and placed a hand on her cheek. There were hundreds of dolls, but they shattered only by his hands. This was how he controlled them. He and he alone could stop the pain. He'd made it so only he could. So only he could wield their power and they could not go against him.

Then he'd bent down and placed a hand on her cheek. She'd still screamed, the pain still ripping through her like a beast. Denying her air, denying her life, she'd wished so badly to die in that moment. For the pain to end and death to arrive. Peaceful, quick death. As if reading her thoughts he'd spoke.

"Don't worry, this much won't kill you. You're precious to me, I need you Rin. If you listen to me you'll never go through this again. I am your master, I am all you need. Do not think of escaping, you will always come back to me." She'd cried, and though she'd still been screaming even at that point, he'd smiled. Through everything he'd said, he'd smiled.

She'd wanted to kill him, with her own two hands in cold blood. Tears bled from her eyes and paralyzed she'd nodded. He'd be impossible to kill, impossible to stop. He'd wielded too much power for too long and knew how to use it. Knew how to stop it from rebelling against him. The pain instantly had stopped and she'd gasped for air.

"I love you Rin."

The images so vivid distorted and evaporated. Her hands again were in wet mud. Rin hadn't felt the pain again, but she'd remembered it. Tears poured down her cheeks, terror still glued her to the spot. It swept through her, without reason and without end. She needed to stand, to run, to escape back to Len. A voice in her head that was hers yelled at her to do so.

If she gave back in to that male voice, terrible things would happen. Unspeakable things, but if she didn't...She couldn't catch her breath; she couldn't stop shaking. She couldn't run away, she couldn't even get up. She was too weak, too terrified, and by far the voice was a lot stronger than she was.

If he smashed another doll even from this distance. If the pain surpassed level three, she'd surely die.

"It's level ten," a voice said to her.

"Level ten?" Rin repeated, her body shook.

"Level ten will kill us." Then the voice said nothing more and faded away. Rin swallowed, if that had been not even level three...she didn't dare imagine level ten. How could she be so sure it was level ten? Pain of that caliber, she couldn't remember ever feeling it and how she knew such a thing.

Staggering up, she found strength to stand. With a quick glance around one thing was for certain; she had no clue where she was. She'd wandered so far for so many hours, following the voice. It always seemed to be a voice that disoriented her.

How long would it take to head back? But then, to where? She'd walked for so long, taking all directions at random. The rain caused the dark sky and anything ten feet in front of her to be nonexistent. Everything was a blur of clouded grey and black, Rin had not even a clue of where to start walking.

"What do we do?" she thought aloud. The answer was simple. What else was there to do except walk? So she did. If anything her best bet was to turn around and walk in the same direction she'd come from. Hopefully, some traces of where she'd turned still lingered.

Len fought against the cold as he ran with Miku on his back. He'd picked up the speed when the land was relatively flat, then slowed when it got rocky or uneven. He struggled to keep his footing as the mud slid out from under him and even simple rocks had a moss like texture. However, not once did he fall. He smiled at the thought but pain sliced into the glory making it short.

"Len you really don't have to keep carrying me. You're hurt I can walk on my own..." Miku spoke. She clutched onto him much more loosely now that he was hurt.

"I told Luka I would carry you and that's what I intend to do. So just shut up and let me carry you." Len grimaced at his own speech. The pain really was bad but nothing he couldn't handle, now anyway.

Earlier it had sliced into every step and breath he took. It jolted and jumped. Rose only to fall again and come back worse than before. He'd learned quickly how to deal with it so the next time around the pain didn't come back quite as excruciating as before. After all, a genius is entitled to pick things up quickly.

"Put me down Len I know you're in pain," Miku complained again with much more bite to her words this time. Len fought back a sigh. Miku right now was a lot of things. Most of all, she was work and a whole lot of it. He fixed a straight look on his face before answering.

"I'm not in any kind of pain whatsoever," Miku frowned at his obvious lie.

"Liar, you are!" She shouted bearing down more weight on him. Len stumbled and straightened, slowing his run to a walk. He bit his lip to keep from making any noise at the sudden sharp pain in his side.

As much as he yearned to give into dropping Miku, he wouldn't. Adopting his most annoying arrogant manner, he straightened and tightened his grip on her. "I don't need you to be concerned about me Miku, I'm fine." He kept a bland expression on his face as he tried to ignore the pain. Like a sickness it was slowly creeping back into him. Sapping him of his strength.

As long as he got Miku back he'd be able to bathe and rest. Rin was another thing. She'd looked pale earlier and though it wasn't his responsibility, nor his problem, overall he was...concerned for her.

There was something about Rin that just pulled him in. A captivatingly refreshing aura that made him want to be close to her. Maybe if he bothered to nurse Rin she'd do the same for him in return.

He ended his train of thought there. His face felt extremely warm even with the cool rain. If he hadn't been carrying Miku he would have blocked the fact that he was blushing with his hands.

It wasn't a bad thought or anything, he was truly entitled to it. Rin was his lackey and had to do what he said after all. The thought was completely innocent, not that Miku could really see his face from the way he was carrying her. Or even know what he was thinking.

Len forced Rin out of his thoughts. For now she was safe with the others. Possibly standing out on the balcony waiting for him like the airhead she was. He didn't doubt they'd all be back at the Megurine's going on the assumption that they'd taken a different path. The other alternative was that they'd find something strange and be out searching for Miku and him.

Considering how none of them were even remotely friendly with each other, he bet on the first option. Water droplets dripped off his bangs and ran down his face. Len fought back a shiver. All too soon his current reality was returning to him.

Miku wasn't heavy, she never really had been until now. Carrying her was a chore. With his whole body spent and aching, screaming under such light weight, he knew that putting her down was probably the best option.

But that would be submitting. Outright admitting that he was in pain and the pain made him weak. He certainly wasn't weak and didn't submit to anyone. His own stubbornness wouldn't let him put her down.

However, it was getting difficult to ignore the fact that he was injured. Pain was hard to brush off when it cut so deep it burned like salt on a wound.

"Put me down already Len!" Miku shouted again, asking for about the third time. It was surprising to suddenly hear her voice after being so wrapped in his own thoughts.

"No!" he snapped at her, tightening his grip on her. If anything he'd get her to safety. If Luka was even capable of worry, Miku would be the one she'd want to see.

"This isn't about pride Len!" Miku screamed, almost deafening him. "You're gonna get yourself killed!" There was logic behind her words but he didn't release her. It was for her own safety not to put her down. Even though it was to his health benefit to set her down. Agreeing to putting her down before contributed to why they were in this situation in the first place.

Nothing Miku said after that penetrated his thoughts. Len only focused on ahead, on getting back to the Megurine's condominium. If he focused on something else the pain transforming into a burning wouldn't bother him.

If he concentrated, if he just concentrated...warm drops of water dripped onto the back of his neck, Len stopped. It took him a few seconds to separate soft sobs against the chaos of the rain.

"Did you always cry this much?" Len asked. Miku didn't reply, she only loosened her grip around him.

"Please just put me down Len...if anything more happens to you..." Her voice trailed off. Len adjusted Miku on his back and continued to walk. One foot infront of the other, focusing on the direction ahead. Slits of what appeared to be light twinkled through the thick brush of trees in front of him.

"I put you down last time and look where we are," he said it a lot harsher than he'd intended. Still he continued, not feeling any need to apologize. He wasn't wrong after all. "Until you're safely back with Luka, don't even think about getting off."

"I love you..." he heard Miku's voice just barely over the rain. The suddenness of the confession threw him off and his concentration broke. Again he'd stopped.

Miku's hands wandered around him limply resting over his chest. As if searching. Looking for a heartbeat. A sudden jolt at her confession, but she felt nothing. Nothing but the steady rhythm of a heartbeat that was of a person who'd been walking. "Len..."

Cold rain filled the silence between them and through blurry eyes Miku stared at Len. Rain dripped off his already drenched hair and beneath her she felt him shiver. And as if she'd said nothing, he began walking again.

Tension tugged at her heart. It was freezing but her skin had already grown accustomed to the rain. It matched the cold chill in her heart along with the slice of Len's silence. She knew they had to get inside, they were both running the risk of a flu, hypothermia more so. She'd been the cause of so much pain for him already. All he had to do was put her down, she wouldn't cause trouble for him, not this time.

Though he said harsh words, and did harsh things. This sudden kindness, this shrouded kindness from Len was painful. She needed a reply, something, anything, just a sign. It would hurt so much more for him to be kind and caring, make her fall for him further, only to be rejected.

They had to get out of the rain but she needed an answer. If Len kept saying nothing, what was she supposed to think? How was she supposed to act? What was she supposed to do? It was terrifying.

"I love you...so please stop. I don't wanna see you in anymore pain," Miku sobbed. She couldn't stop her tears, they were seemingly endless. Tears for herself, for Len, for her feelings that she'd kept hidden.

The silence pierced right through her, deafening with despair and agony. With Len's pain, the pain she'd caused him. Still he walked and said nothing.

"I love you..." The repetition of the words were heavy as well as useless. She felt that way, but she'd said it. Her heart felt as if it would implode. Her limp arms tightened around him. She'd say it a thousand times. As much as she'd always wanted to say it. As much as she'd always wanted to let him hear her say it. "I love-"

"I heard," he finally said, the abruptness shattering the rest of the sentence.

"Are you gonna reply...?" Miku asked hesitantly.

Len didn't answer.

"If you take another step with me on your back, I'll take it as a no. If I hear it...your voice...your words...I...don't think I could handle it."

"Miku...tell me when was it that you became, such a coward?" Miku's eyes widened at his comment. "You said you loved me, asked for a reply and then you don't want it in words?" Miku's silence was more than adequate to prove his point. "I'm only trying to safely get you back to the Megurine's and yet you're using even a confession just so I can put you down?"

"That...that's not it..." Miku stuttered on the words. "I just want to walk on my own you're already hurt. You being hurt is my fault! I-" She didn't finish the sentence as her rear collided with the ground. Len had dropped her. Mud sloshed all over her and he didn't bother to turn around and ask if she was okay.

"Taking such serious matters and using them in such a way..." Len's eyes narrowed. "If you're gonna confess to me with that kinda half-assed confession, then please don't confess at all. These things are bothersome." With that he turned and started walking again. Leaving Miku behind, remembering why he never did things for people. For anyone.

"I just wanted to walk on my own Len! The feelings I have for you...the feelings I said were real!" A sudden burst of irritation shot through Len and he turned around. Staring hard, locking eyes with Miku.

He'd wanted to keep walking, head forward and ignore her. He rarely did anything kind for anyone, if ever. He was his own person, he was a delinquent. When had he forgotten it? Delinquents didn't care for anyone, they rode solo. He'd always rode solo.

Tears still trickled down Miku's cheeks, he could almost taste the saltiness. Len hardened his heart. Mercy didn't ride into this, not while he was the injured one, not while they were still outside shivering in the rain. Not while he knew for a fact that warm beds and baths were ahead if Miku would only be quiet and just silently follow him.

He didn't need anyone looking out for him. Not now and not ever. He was independent. Always strived to be. He'd be a genius and didn't need be troubled with anyone else's problems. Their world or their weight. He was his own person and never realized when it had stopped being so.

"I don't need anyone to look out for me Miku. Not you and not anyone. Stop worrying about me like some scared little girl and worry about your own issues. What I did for you could be considered me taking a bullet for you." Len glared harshly and Miku flinched. The change in his tone of voice was frightening. "Rest assured, it won't happen again, now move."

He stared at her still sitting in the dirt among the weeds and forest plants. More tears than before pooled down her cheeks and he steeled himself to them. This was how it had been before. He'd been harsh, he'd been cruel and cold. Isolated from everyone else and focused on his studies. Taking what he wanted, saying what he wanted likewise.

Somehow it was different...

Had he gained pleasure out of doing similar things to this before? If he did, right now it wasn't enjoyable. Somehow there was a discomforting pain in his chest. His fingers tensed and when he should have turned and walked away like he'd always done. He found himself standing before Miku. A hand outstretched, a frown on his face. Feeling somehow concerned for her well being. Somewhat...of something for what he'd said.

"I...I'm sorry." It had left his mouth before he'd even had time to recognize what he'd really said. He looked away, unable to meet Miku's eyes. "I...I just snapped I guess. My vast cornucopia of vocabulary isn't really assisting me at the moment. I apologize."

Len sighed heavily. The current situation wasn't necessarily uncomfortable but he wasn't used to it. Were geniuses ever supposed to be..well..wrong?

"I was just trying to...make sure you didn't get hurt, at least not like I did." He pointed towards Miku's shoes, that thanks to him were soaked in mud. "Your flats aren't fit for tracking through mud and your pants are short too. The thorns in the shrubs kinda hurt so..." Len didn't finish, he didn't have to.

Miku had taken his hand and he pulled her up. Still avoiding eye contact all the while. She didn't get on his back again, he also noted that she didn't let go of his hand. Stepping forward he slipped his hand away from hers.

"Just follow me and watch where you step...and junk." He couldn't see but from behind Miku smiled at him. Wiping tears away from her eyes.

"Now look who's worried about who~" Miku hummed walking past him.

"I'm wasn't really worried or anything...," Len said, somehow the words didn't feel right. Maybe, just a little of him had been...secretly.

"Mhmm, whatever you say Lenny," Miku called over her shoulder.

Sure enough the light Len had seen through the brush had been the Megurine's. Upon their arrival Luka had pounced and hugged Miku. Luka hadn't thanked him directly or asked him if he was okay but she'd shot him a glance.

A glance that was not harsh or dirty or a glare for once, but of something deeper. If she was capable of it possibly gratitude. Luka had been overjoyed and called off the search. Mikuo and Kaito had come back shortly and awkwardly, Len had been hugged by both.

He wasn't used to hugs and it was hard not to picture stabbing Kaito when they'd made contact. Something was off though, he only realized it when Luka turned to him.

"Len did Rin go to the bathroom after you three came back?" Len stopped and the room fell silent.

"What do you mean, us three? It was only Miku and I..." As he finished the sentence his voice trailed off. Len's eyes widened and glances of fear were exchanged. It had taken too long to sink in.

Thunder rolled outside and the rain barrelled down. It whipped and clashed with things. As if the earth and the rain were having some kind of gladiator fight. The sky was nonexistent and dark.

"Rin isn't here...is she...?" Len asked. No one answered. Before he grabbed a coat, or changed his clothes. Before anyone could protest or even process the thought of stopping him. Before he even assessed his own situation and thought of how long his body would hold out and if he went back out there and if yet another misfortune would befall him; Len was gone.

He'd charged out the door and raced up the road heading to the mountain trail. If Rin was still out there he'd find her, even if it killed him.