Alexis was beginning to have better days. Oddly enough, the first one occurred after she almost killed the Decepticon. After crying her heart out and with Thundercracker no less, then crying some more after he left, she woke up the next morning feeling a little different.

Apart from her husband more than she had been with him, she never got accustomed to the feeling of sleeping with him, of waking with him, of sharing his space. Alexis had spent more time in his room after his death than she had when he was alive. That didn't ease the misery or the too sudden and very permanent separation, or make it easier to wake up with the finality of oneness.

The questions still came. The uncertainty a permanent fixture. She felt like she had no future. Mostly because the future she had been expecting for herself and with Airaih had been taken away, and she couldn't seem to look past that.

But she was leaving her quarters a little more beyond the usual. And Alexis knew something was different when she started to care about things. And even if it was just about leaving The Line, it was something.

And now she was leaving The line. It was just a temporary departure, an opportunity to visit a nearby planet. A planet that her husband had talked about taking her to. Ignoring the other people boarding the shuttle with her, including Sideswipe, who she saw out of the corner of her vision talking to a group of enthralled teenagers, she strapped herself in and waited for the short flight to commence.

Not everyone on board The Relentless was a part of The Line. Mostly, those on board were refugees from Earth, mindless or uncaring of their benefactor's true nature. Perhaps Alexis could have learned to like living on the ship, if she didn't know what took place in the dark shadowed backgrounds where The Line preferred to reside.

Any human thinking of revenge was to be expected after what the Decepticons did to their planet and people. Yet the idea that the Cons now knew that humans were behind the nefarious group made her anxious about the acts of retaliation that would surely follow. This subterfuge though, Thundercracker working with Autobots, disturbed her when she gave it enough thought, which she didn't tend to do as much as she should have.

Alexis had too many things to think about. And she couldn't see, no matter what she knew of Thundercracker that he was going to go amuck on board the ship. But they were here to end the group. Which made her question, not for the first time, why she came along, and what exactly she thought she was going to accomplish. She didn't seem capable of contribution at the moment, and Sideswipe and even Thundercracker were doing a far better job fitting in than she was.

She wasn't accustomed to feeling so useless. And still hadn't reached a point that it truly mattered. The worst The Line could do after figuring out that she wasn't in-tune with their aspirations was kill her and that prospect didn't seem as bleak as it really should have.

After leaving the rest of the group, Alexis wandered off on her own. She walked through the market of crafts and food, lingering near the domesticated animals. Bartering, she managed to obtain a small hovering motorcycle like craft for the day. After twenty minutes of instructions on how to use it, Alexis was on her way.

Leaving the small town, she made her way out into a country terrain. Unusual wild flowers littered the sides of the dirt roads, thick grass covering the earth. It was visually pleasing, just like Airaih had said. The scent of the flowers, the cool breeze and temperate weather, the peaceful atmosphere, yes, it was lovely.

And perhaps because of the association of her husband's words playing through her memories as he told her of the planet, for the first time in quite a while, she was able to see the beauty around her and enjoy it.

She had a while to go though. Asking for directions before she left, she was able to put the data into her many times upgraded tablet, which guided her orally through a bluetooth earpiece.

Alexis arrived at her destination two hours later. Leaving the hovercycle at the bottom, she climbed a small hill and settled on the top.

Alexis waited.

The sunset that followed was even more beautiful than her husband had described. The colors, the play of lights, the way they all reflected off the long stretch of a pond below, it was breathtaking. Alien birds sang until the lights faded, an unknown chirping sound joining in until silence echoed, a peace following that reverberated with the spreading darkness. The landscape was painted in purple, blues and pinks from the bright, altered moon that hung lazily above the planet.

Liquid trying to hinder her sight, she wiped her eyes off. Airaih had been here in his youth, stood on the very spot. Alexis could feel him sharing the moment with her until his presence faded along with the light. The moment over too soon, Alexis stood and stretched and made her way down, not sure if she felt better or worse.

Sideswipe was waiting for her at the bottom. Alexis stopped and nearly tripped. He held up a small satchel that she examined wearily.

"Hungry? I know you didn't take any food with you."

"Have you been following me?"

She kept her eyes on him. The sun had completely faded and yet the vibrant moon kept everything highly visible.

"I have been." His free hand snaked through his inky hair that shimmered with the shifting colors of the moon. He stayed where he was, unashamed of what he had been doing. "Thought you might run off or..."

"Kill myself?"

He flinched at that. And a perverse desire to smile from his discomfort overcame her. Instead, she narrowed her eyes, trying to ignore her own unease from his ability to track and find her, to tread where she wished no one would.

"Get into trouble," he corrected, his eyes scanning over her body, a disturbed frown accenting his too pleasant features. "This is an alien planet, one you have not been on before, and with everything that has happened to you I have been..."

"Entertained?" Alexis shot out with displeasure, a little too familiar with how he and his brother saw the world and the inhabitants that had the misfortune to take up space with them.

"Worried." The frown deepened, his brow lifting with what could have been affront. He crossed his hands over his chest and stood so straight that it looked painful. The Autobot spoke grimly, his words marked with a weighty cadence of targeted rancor, "After what that human female tried to pull on you..."

"You mean what I almost did," Alexis interrupted yet again, unable to stop the hostility that had lodged inside her mind since she first saw him waiting for her at the bottom of the hill. Alexis had wanted to be alone. She felt brutish, unmerciful, both to him and herself. "I almost killed someone. I could have killed someone. What does that say about me?"

"That when you care, you care deeply."

That hadn't been what she expected him to say, not at all. Angling her head to the side because her unending reserve of tears was trying to spill out of her eyes, she quietly composed herself, hoping the moon above didn't illuminate her almost reaction.

The anger seeped out through her tight skin. Alexis reminded herself that he had tried to help her. That this even, may have been another way he was trying to look after her. She didn't know why it felt like something she wanted to hold against him, but she did.

Turning to face him several long moments later, she took a small step toward him. He stiffened, exhaled sharply and his face flushed.

"I guess I could eat something," Alexis told him, her stomach rumbling at the thought of food. She still didn't have much of an appetite, but she knew the consequences of going without sustenance for too long.

Sideswipe seemed so stiff and strange as he pulled a small sandwich out and handed it to her, almost dropping it in the process when her finger accidentally touched the back of his hand. He motioned toward a soft patch of grass behind them. Alexis opted for leaning against her hovercycle instead.

Standing near his own cycle several meters away, he sat on it and made an effort not to stare.

Finishing the sandwich and drinking some of the water she had brought with her, she lifted up her eyes. Sideswipe was no longer trying to hide the fact that his focus was entirely on her. Alexis had forgotten how he could look at her so, and now that she knew what it meant, she couldn't help but stare right back, wondering exactly what he saw.

"You are alone," Sideswipe broke the silence.

Her mind fractured. Alexis internally screamed. She knew what he meant, and the sharp ache that came at his blunt proclamation ripped around the edges of her beaten and bruised heart.

He folded his fingers together and forced them to still.

"You don't have to be alone."

Alexis wanted to stop him right there, but she'd never seen him so bewildered, so self-conscious. Sitting on the hovercyle Alexis made the motion to turn it on and escape from what she knew without a doubt she didn't want to hear. Not now, not any time soon. Not when she felt like she couldn't breathe, like the world was once more tumbling apart to reveal pathways that were unthinkable.

With a speed that a cheetah would have envied, the Autobot moved in front of the vehicle and blocked her retreat, his fingers pressing down on hers that had moved to the steering bar.

"Please, Alexis, don't go." He sighed, unsettled yet firmly resolved to have his say.

The craft floated back down to the road, the low hum of the engine shutting off. Sideswipe didn't mess with pleasantries, and the sound of such a simple politeness coming out of his mouth made her falter.

Reluctantly backing away from her, he kept his luminous eyes sealed on her own.

"I don't do females," he began, cringing at his choice of words, then swallowing back a frown when he realized its double meaning. "I mean, I've never felt anything long-term for a female before," he corrected and then bit down on his mouth. "I should have known something was different when it wasn't just about having you, but knowing you. When what you wanted, what you needed became something I wasn't only interested in, but wanted to fulfill."

He took a cautious step closer, watching her, almost afraid that she would skitter away. But now that he had begun, Alexis was ready to get whatever he had to say out of him and over with. She ignored the childish impulse to cover her ears with her hands. Ignored the strangeness that came when he began to avoid her eyes.

"I think I would do anything for you." His voice became filled with zeal, his fingers distractingly sliding along the accelerator bar. His attention remained on her hands that were positioned so close to his own. "And the things I could do for you, Alexis," he told her, his steely confidence making his eyes shine bright, his mouth to curve up. "I know that I was only a," he paused and swallowed hard, his tone turning severe, "distraction before. I know you don't think much of me, but this, Alexandra, is a mistake. I will never leave you." His fingers grazed the accelerator bar and nearly touched her own. "I won't die or be killed. I am eternal compared to you organics." His voice dropped to an inflamed rumble in his boasting, three of his fingers dipping between Alexis' knuckles. His gaze remained on her just touched flesh, one of his hands fisting before settling on his chest near his heart. "And what is mine, I protect. I keep safe."

"You don't know me, Sideswipe," Alexis spoke wearily.

She had been right. This was nothing she wanted to hear. The audacity of his poorly chosen words made her stomach twist with animosity. The tone of his voice made it sound like death was a weakness, that those that couldn't avoid it were pathetic and flawed, as if Airaih's sacrifice was a waste. Fortunately for him, she was now more accustomed to those with a forthright nature and more adept at dealing with it. Candor was a quality that she had valued with Airaih, a quality that Sideswipe may have been in possession of as well, but totally lacked in finesse and the mastery of usage.

"I know you," he spoke sternly, his tone harsh and filled with resentment from her words. "I know when you were three you found a pair of scissors and cut all your hair off. I know that you didn't learn to read until you were seven. That you had your first crush when you were nine. Didn't have many friends growing up, had difficulties in school with bullying from obviously inferior humans that were jealous of your natural intellect and refusal to try to 'fit in.' That you had your first boy friend at nineteen, and that relationship lasted all of three days when you found him..."

"That is the past," Alexis interrupted, her voice a low hiss, her face heated from the memory he almost said out loud. She knew that Josh had spoken about her to the Autobots, probably to others as well, but she didn't know how much until then. How lonely her brother must have been.

Sideswipe seemed to internally stumble at that, his mouth shutting tight. His observation of her was heavy and obvious, his churning thoughts evident in the shifting emotions on his face.

Reading her brooding, contemplative silence as willingness to listen, he went on, "You are passionate, fearless. A survivor of terrible things. You are unfaltering in your loyalty, capable of compassion and kindness when there should be none. Beyond all that you are true, Alexis, you are genuine. I know I could make you happy, I know in time, you would love me. I can fix you, take away your pain. I am willing to devote myself to you until your short life is through. You don't have to be alone," he repeated.

She heard his words, disagreeing with some, recognizing his conceit and the error of his timing. Sideswipe wasn't capable of putting her back together, no one was except herself and a God she obviously needed to understand better. Having answers wasn't asking much was it? She knew it wasn't for her to know the certain whys of everything, but to suffer such terrible things and not to know the cause was more than her fragile mind could deal with.

A coldness settled on her heart at the presumptuous, dismaying word of love leaving his mouth. Alexis had forgotten how much he lacked in common sense, how little he cared for tact. The astonishment from what he said was overshadowed by the dominating, spiteful thought that everything seemed more about him and what he wanted, than what would have been good for her.

When she spoke, her voice was unfamiliar and distant, "You would do anything for me?"

"Anything," he replied, his one worded affirmation filled with a dangerous intent that made his eyes harden and his disposition change toward something cruel and eager. Her enemies wouldn't have stood a chance. But Alexis wasn't seeking vengeance as he supposed. Things weren't that simple.

"Then don't ever say such things to me again." Her hand went to the band on her arm, resting against it with her fingers, not finding the familiar reassurance it usually gave her. "I am married."

"Your husband is dead," Sideswipe told her, his confusion tangling with the brutality of his words.

"Doesn't make me any less his."

"Even in death?" he asked ruthlessly. His attention went to where her fingers rested. Sideswipe's mouth settled into a tight line. The oppression from his suddenly foul mood made her shiver.

"Even now."

He considered that for several long moments. Sideswipe didn't speak again until his body uncoiled and his muscles relaxed. "I will take you back to the shuttle," he said, a sharp lilt to his breathy words.

"I don't want to go back," she told him truthfully, knowing though that she had to return.

"Then I will take you anywhere you want, command me," he tried to entice her, a tangible desperation making his words reverberate with a compelling earnestness that had her wanting to comply.

"And what about Thundercracker?" Alexis made the mistake of asking, somehow forgetting about his emotional capriciousness that was capable of draining her. Just because he wasn't his twin, didn't make him any easier to deal with. They were both volatile, unpredictable, dangerous.

At the sound of the Seeker's name, Sideswipe trembled and his hands crashed solidly against his thighs, a sneer taking over his steadily paling face. The oppression Alexis had felt before did not compare to his darkening mood that was made worse by the violence it bred.

"What, exactly, is that Con to you?" he asked of her, the coldness in his words turning the question into an open accusation. He stalked closer, visibly restraining himself from grabbing to her. Losing that battle he took hold of her chin and lifted it up more gently than she would have thought possible. A war raged in his eyes, in the thoughts that tried to make it out of his mouth. "The two of you spent a lot of time together. And the way he looks at you, it's unnatural. He will never care about you the way I do. He will never be capable of..."

Sideswipe stopped. He shook his head, fingers threading through his hair in open frustration. Calming unnaturally quick, not looking at her, he addressed her with an indifference that had Alexis thinking of his brother.

"We better head back or we will miss the shuttle."

Sideswipe sat in front of her on the return shuttle. He ignored her completely, sitting there as if tension given human form. Upon their return to the Relentless they were the last to leave the small space craft.

"My timing was bad," the Autobot spoke to her when they were alone. A fragile lilt coated his words as if he had just discovered what should have been obvious. "But I meant everything I said." His hands met and entwined on his lap and then fell apart. "I may be new to all this, I may do everything wrong, but that doesn't change how..." he stopped, remembering what she had asked of him. He frowned tightly but didn't continue. The Autobot stiffly got up and left her alone.

Exiting the vehicle, Alexis was to come upon the sight of Sideswipe on his knees with security surrounding him and rifles aimed at his head and chest.