Chapter 19

Carlisle's Point of View

After Natalie hung up I my feelings were partially relieved and also partly even more worried. It was obvious she wouldn't be coming home, at least not in the very near future. I was also worried with how fast she was pushing that car to go. I knew for a fact that it was possible with the modifications Rosalie had made, but if Natalie crashed Rosalie's car pushing it that much, there was a very good chance she could die on impact. Forget could, unless something miraculously saved her, she would die.

I was so upset over her leaving entirely. I had just got her back after waiting for so long only to have her out of my reach once again. The entire family was suffering. Everyone had grown attached which meant everyone missed her and was worried for her. I was contemplating these things when I felt the loving arms around my wife wrap around me.

"It will be okay" Esme whispered softly in my ear.

"What if it's not, love? What if she gets hurt?"

"I have faith, Carlisle. I know Natalie, and I know that when she figures things out she will come back. But I have faith that she's going to make it where she's going and get what she needs to be reassured in a way we can't. I know that's hard to think about, that we can't be everything she needs, but she hasn't been with us this entire time. There are things that have happened in your beautiful daughters' life none of us know about and she needs to take care of herself because of that."

Only my wife could be so wise and comforting. I turned to face her and hugged her closely to me. I silently tried to convey my gratitude by staring into her beautiful eyes and prayed she could understand.

After a while we went downstairs to the living room where most of the family had been all day. Edward was playing a sad tune on his piano while everyone moped about. Everyone except Alice, of course. I swear that nothing could ever bring her mood down. We were all sitting around chatting when she slipped into a vision. Edward immediately seemed to relax slightly which brought me a little relief as she entered reality again.

"Do you have your phone on you, Carlisle?" she asked.

I nodded and went to get it out of my pocket when I heard it beep.

"It's from Natalie," she continued, "she's safe. She stopped to sleep at a hotel. A pretty nice one too, I might add. I know where she's going but she doesn't want me to tell you. But trust me, she's perfectly okay and will be back as soon as she's done where she's at."

She basically told me what the text message said.

I quickly replied back while a wave of relief washed over me. Everything is going to be okay. I told myself.

Natalie's Point of View

I got a reply from my father quickly after I sent him the original text.

Thanks for texting me. I was a little bit worried. Alice didn't tell me where you are, by the way. She told me you didn't want me to know. I understand you're just taking care of some things, clearing your head. I miss you, so does everyone else as well. I love you, goodnight Natalie.

Only my dad would be so formal while writing a text. I shot back a quick 'luv u 2' before falling into bed and passing out pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillows and began to dream of the past life I was about to face.

It was the Roaring 20's in Louisiana. I had spent almost all of my entire past life in the south and something about it made me refer to it as home. Even though I had spent my time in several states like Georgia, Tennessee, and Texas, it was still all considered home to me. The 20's were exciting. There was no doubt that the government had its problems, but people like me didn't care about that. People like us didn't care about that. We were a group of partiers without any given name. We all knew each other though, and we all got lost in the good times together. The illegal booze was cheap down here and the women were loose, but everyone knew that secretly the men were even looser. They couldn't stand the sway of our hips or the feel of our lips and skin against theirs without wanting more.It took little seduction and just like that we had those men wrapped around our fingers. Everyone knew that there were problems surrounding us. The KKK had become more and more of an issue and everyone were buying their liquor against the law. But we all just sat back and lost ourselves in the jazz. It was during this time that I found myself a man. I was 15 when I met John, he was 4 years older than me, but knew how to sweep a girl off her feet. We met during Mardi Gras and I was instantly taken with him. My family and I had been invited to a masquerade ball and after 30 minutes there almost everyone was already drop dead drunk. It was in this state that I stumbled into a closet while looking for the restroom when I saw a man. He was looking for his coat, but so plastered that couldn't even tell if the coats he was looking at were for men or women. He didn't notice my presence in the closet until almost five minutes later when he gave me the most amazing smile I had seen in my entire life.

"Hello there" he said, his dazzling smile remaining on his face.

"You do realize that you're wrapped up in some women's fur coat, don't you?"

He blushed and immediately took the coat off.

"Now," I continued, "I think it would be an awfully good idea for us to go back to the party and dance until we can't feel our feet anymore, wouldn't you agree?"

He simply nodded and I could tell he hadn't had any experience with a women taking the reigns before.

"And maybe," I kept going, "if you impress me with your skill, I just might have to thank you in the only way I know how to thank men such as yourself" I had whispered the last part in his ear and when I was done kissed his cheek softly, gently.

"Well what kind of man would I be to refuse a lady such as yourself to dance?" With that he grabbed my hand and escorted me out of the closet and to the dance floor.

That night was the first of many nights with John.

We continued to party and drink, and tried to keep a positive outlook on everything that surrounded us. I had never been so intimately close with a man in my entire life.

Three years later he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him and in a moment of pure and unadulterated bliss, I accepted. I didn't think about the pain I would cause him in only a few short years.

After our marriage, his parents passed down part of their fortune to us and we bought a reasonably sized house in the heart of New Orleans. We lived together happily with few fights and unconditional love towards each other until my twenty-third birthday.

I had been pregnant with a child for five months. And though I was afraid that I would not be able to raise her like a parent should, I was happy about it anyway. Surely John could take care of the child. We had both been ecstatic when we found out, happy to start a family since we had started to become part of a sophisticated society shortly after our marriage. The time spent preparing to welcome this child into our world was spent as some of the happiest days of our lives.

It was now two days before my birthday, and I was excited like I always seemed to be now, when I started to not feel very well. John had tucked me back into bed and I was simply relaxing, praying the baby would be okay when I started to feel it.

At first I thought my water had broken, but it was much too early. I went to the bathroom to find out what had happened to me when I realized it wasn't water, it was blood.

I, being as naïve as I was about child birth, was confused. There weren't any other words to describe how I was feeling. On the contrary, I think my subconscious knew what was going on because for reasons unknown to me, I started to cry.

John heard the noise and came up to see what was wrong when he saw what had happened. How my husband knew more about what was going on than I did, I will never understand. He simply hugged me closely to him and cried silent tears as I was more confused than ever.

"W-what's happening, John?" My voice cracking unexpectedly.

"You don't know, Natalie?" he whispered. His voice still shook from his own tears.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?"

"Natalie, sweetie," he paused, looking almost as if he couldn't explain to me, "we're not having a baby anymore. At least not that one."

I was in complete shock when he started to run the bath water. After he had done that, he just held me while I continued to stand there in complete shock. I had lost the baby, I wasn't going to be a mother. I wasn't even able to form words when I realized John had been whispering in my ear. For how long, I had no idea, but I heard him now.

"It's alright baby, we're going to be alright. I need you to calm down, though. I need you to calm down and breathe with me, okay? In…"he took a deep breath and held it. "Out," he released it. "Okay, sweetheart, now do it with me. In…" I took a shaky breath and exhaled as he did. When my breathing returned to a semi-normal state he continued to talk to me. "We can try again, okay? This wasn't our one chance, it can happen again! We just need to be positive, okay?"

The tub was full by now and he shut the water off and picked me up and placed me in the warm water. He kissed my cheek and smiled at me before leaving to go get something to clean the floor up. I curled into a ball and cried a little more for my loss. It wasn't meant to happen, I guessed, but I wanted it to so badly.

I woke up after that last part of my dream. Tears streaked down my face as I told myself that it had happened a long time ago and I had to get over the loss. It wouldn't have been the right thing for the baby anyways.

I took a long shower and continued to think about John and how much I had loved him. After getting ready I went down to the lobby of the hotel and checked out. It was almost one in the afternoon in the heart of a city in Kansas. I took the car out and decided that I might as well do some shopping while I was in the city considering I had been wearing the same clothes for almost three days now.

After my wardrobe was sufficiently larger, I was on the road again. Heading to the place I considered my home. I knew it was home because even though I only remembered some things from each life I lived, to this day I could remember every moment spent with John in the south. I knew that's where I belonged.

A/N: Hey everyone! So first of all, I was really trying to get this up last night but ¾ of the way through the chapter felt extremely ill. And second, sorry if this chapter isn't super great of might be kind of scatter-brained because I still don't feel super well but wanted to continue the story. And thirdly, please, please, PLEASE review. If you're an author you know how great it feels to get one and if you're not-trust me, it's amazing. So please!? Help the sick feel better!