Chapter 23
Miku Hatsune she...Len couldn't find specific enough words to describe her. He was stuck between two words that were a siren and a succubus. His thoughts were a mess right now and he had trouble even keeping one sustained. Similar to this whole situation. It was beyond difficult to process whether he wanted to be here or not.
He'd tried to put an end to his current affairs but his hands had a mind of their own. Freely they roamed small inches of Miku's body, his willpower likewise fading and rapidly deserting him. All the self discipline and will he'd accumulated over the years meant nothing. Gone, just like that. The situation kept escalating.
Len wondered if at some point he'd liked Miku. She was attractive, but wasn't necessarily beautiful in his regard. She had her flaws, a few of them hardly visible unless you were at her core. Like most girls, Len was sure her heart was corrupt at the center. She could be sweet sometimes despite her major tsundere personality.
Her hair was long and lush, silky and quite soft to the touch. She was slender and her skin was smooth. Her eyes were a quiet and yet loud teal color. She dressed moderately enough compared to Luka who felt the need to always show her skin.
Len couldn't remember if he'd ever possessed feelings other than friendship for her. Unlike the lie he'd made up about Rin and him, they truly were childhood friends and yet she hadn't detected his lie. Either out of stupidity or simply because he'd put up barriers even with her back then.
If he had liked her or not...well, that didn't change the situation.
She was still on top of him pinning him where he was. Her teal eyes were burning into him as if he were being branded. They burned for him and no matter what, he couldn't come up with a reason not to do this.
Of course he knew there were several crucial reasons. Reasons countless teachers and even morons could name. However, he wouldn't find them. Not during this or the fuzzy haze his mind was in due to Miku. Her scent was engulfing him and he felt his strength leaking from him like a bruised melon.
He still had strength but not enough to hold back. Everything he'd taught himself, self discipline, order, will. It all meant nothing here.
Mostly because he was not in control of the situation. Someone else was; Miku specifically. Every small circle he mindlessly drew on her waist. The sensual heat that coursed through him. Every small cute moan or sound Miku released accommodating his actions. Accompanied by the way she breathlessly called his name from doing so alone...
All of it would be his undoing.
The air was already hot and troublesome to breathe in. It sat heavy on Len's lungs and his hike in body temperature almost left him gasping for air. Every breath was short and warm like his last.
Mentally, he desperately fought for control. However, it was a battle he was rapidly losing to lust and hormones. Several of Miku's hot breaths pushed past his neck like fingers and Len shuddered. He felt goosebumps form on his skin. The tables weren't turning.
At least in his favor anyway.
Miku was offering him her everything. That much Len could understand. There was nothing deeper than that, nothing left to give after that. Giving someone your love on top of everything else...such a complex thing. There was no reason not to take it. Nothing to stop him from taking it. But did he want it?
A moment of clarity reached Len. He gripped Miku's waist to push her back. He had to sort everything out here, right now. Miku was rushing this, and him. She obviously wasn't thinking straight. Len wasn't either but his thought process was clearer than Miku's.
He had to stop her with everything honorable about him. How would things be afterwards? Neither of them needed to make this irreversible mistake. Especially not himself. Yet before he could say, let alone do anything, Len's lips were smothered by Miku's.
He was so stunned he laid rigid and frozen for about three-seconds while her lips stroked his. It was light at first but increasingly gained pressure. Then he forgot who he was, let alone who she was, and melted into her. All the confusion, question and resistance he had, Len forgot it all.
Forgot where he was and what he'd been trying to do only seconds earlier. Forgot why he'd been trying to resist in the first place. It's not like he had all that solid of a reason.
There were no thoughts of protest or question anymore. Something deep inside him took control over his conscience and ruled happily over it. It had been so long since he'd done something even close to this. He hadn't dated let alone kissed a girl in ages. However it wasn't as if he was rusty.
Almost against his will he felt his arms stretching downwards to lock around Miku's waist and he pulled her down closer. Much closer than anyone needed to be ever. Still, it wasn't close enough.
Miku's arms twined around his neck and her lips parted in invitation, allowing him full access to her mouth. One of his hands wandered from her waist and knotted itself in her hair. The light kiss Miku had started became fierce. Len's arm wrapped tightly around her back, molding her body to his.
Miku couldn't breathe, but she had no need for oxygen. Her only desire was for Len's body to be pressed against hers and his lips to keep kissing hers. Sparks of electricity seemed to shoot through her.
Right then and there she probably couldn't have remembered her own name if someone had asked it right then. She had to have him. Had to, needed to, yearned to. Her body and mind were on fire for him as she ran her hands up his chest. Her fingers feeling the warmth of his body even through his shirt. As if he radiated heat.
She started to lift up the bottom of his shirt needing the offending fabric to disappear. Then she was under. The split moment she had focused on something else Len had rolled them over so he was on top.
Miku was sure she'd lost control but Len either didn't notice, or didn't care. She struggled with his shirt a little longer before he separated from her. She almost cried out from the sudden separation as it sent physical pain coursing through her. Cold air passed the spot only earlier Len's body had been.
Len stripped off his shirt himself in those seconds he was away from her. The seconds passed like years and seemed to take too long. Miku fell breathless once it was gone.
Her hands roamed the hard planes of Len's chest and it was glorious. She felt the deep indentations above his hip bones and felt every flex in his muscles. His fit build, a build she'd always wanted to run her hands over. Something deep in her stomach clenched with each exhalation and she felt exhilarated.
There was still more of him. Still so much of Len that was not yet hers. However, having all of Len wasn't the direct point of this. Len was already on her mind often, more than he should be lately.
She had to make him feel the same way. To constantly have her on his mind every second of the day. To know she existed, and need her existence. Even being just a sliver of significance to Len's center would be enough.
It might be impossible, since Len's center was himself and only himself. If somehow, she could forge herself there she'd be able to sleep at night. To dream peacefully without the thought of Rin stealing everything from her. That would be glorious, even more so than Len's body.
The thought allowed her to drift and Miku lost herself in that happiness. She breathed in and was immersed in Len's scent. A spicy scent.
Her hands draped over his back and she sat up. She pulled herself close to him and kissed along his jawline before she made her way upwards to his lips. Len allowed it.
Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as Len fell back onto the mattress allowing her dominance again. Miku wanted to go slower, she wanted to take her time and not miss even an inch. But time was of the essence even now. Quite frankly it was a luxury, just like this.
Her hands travelled further and further downwards all the while, Len watched her. She gripped the top of his belt and released it from the latch. Sliding it out, she tossed it to the floor and it landed with a faint click next to Len's forgotten shirt.
How Len could wear jeans to bed Miku didn't know, and actually didn't care. She only knew that the fabric was in the way and it needed to go. Len noticed what she was doing and grabbed her hands. Startled, Miku froze
"Len...?" her voice was shaky and quiet. He didn't reply, only stared at her. Miku blushed but she didn't dare look away. He set her hands on her shirt and without words she knew what he was asking.
Miku breathed deeply and swallowed hard. Hurriedly, she reached up for the first button of her shirt and fumbled with the material. Again Len placed his hands on her and she stopped. She noticed the pleasure in his eyes before he spoke. Only issuing a single command.
"Slower..."
Miku's breath hitched and electric heat shot through her. The silky smoothness of Len's voice, the calm and collected exterior he presented. Her senses heightened and her insides burned for him.
Slowly and almost painfully Miku continued unbuttoning her shirt. She felt as if it was constricting her. Len wanted it gone and so it had to be gone. Anything he said was absolute in this moment.
When Miku was finally able to toss the unwanted garment to the floor she felt exposed. She still had her shorts and her undergarments, but she felt exposed all the same. His eyes reached into her as if he could read her thoughts and feel her emotions. He could read her hopes and fears, strengths and faults. Knew her dreams and her values, goals and aspirations.
Len gazed at her for the longest time. Unable to take his eyes off her. He was locked in a trance of some kind. The kind that only Miku could create. A sort of spell.
The back of his neck tingled and he found himself wanting to touch her again. He'd already gotten this far, the thought of stopping had deserted him long ago. It was impossible, he couldn't bring himself to. Somehow didn't want to, or see the need.
His hand trailed it's way up her back and into her hair. He drew Miku closer. Needing to fill this sudden craving, this urge to have her. He needed to taste her again. Her mouth had been sweet. Like a mixture of cinnamon and sugar. Her body, he could only imagine would be so much better.
Len's surroundings faded and suddenly he couldn't see. The sudden darkness blinded him and Miku was no longer infront of him.
Not too far from him stood a girl. It didn't take him too long to register that it was Rin. He attempted to speak but couldn't say anything. The air stifled him. Rin turned to face him and a single tear slid down her cheek.
One particular emotion hit him like a brick but he couldn't recall or understand what it was. But it was present and wouldn't allow him to not acknowledge it. It crushed him and the air denied him further oxygen.
Excruciating pain shot through Len's body and he reached out for Rin. He didn't want her to cry. Couldn't understand why she was and it unsettled him.
This had to be a dream. Despite that thought, it was so vivid. He didn't wanna see Rin cry infront of him, or ever. It killed him to watch tears slip down her cheeks and Len felt uncomfortable. They were tears he couldn't stop because he didn't know the cause.
He only understood once she locked eyes with him and spoke.
"Why Len...?"
The second he understood the ground fell out beneath him and he dropped right before Rin's eyes. Falling down, being swallowed up by a hidden sea.
Unlike his dark surroundings the sea was not dark. It was a familiar indigo, almost teal color and he was sinking into it at a rapid rate. It swallowed him, dragging him under the surface like quick sand. The more he reacted the quicker he sunk. He reached a hand out for Rin but she didn't notice. Too blinded by her own tears to help him.
Len sunk further and further till the murky teal sea swallowed everything but his one reaching hand. The liquid invaded his mouth and his nostrils and he choked on it violently. He knew he was drowning but tried to breathe air that wasn't present on impulse. His lungs caught fire. All the while he was sure Rin was in the distance, not even watching him.
He swam his way to the top. Forcefully kicking to receive air he was lacking. He was still sinking as if the liquid were deliberately forcing him under, threatening to swallow him whole. Len pushed through it and kept kicking to stay on the surface.
He coughed and hacked up the teal liquid violently and gasped for air. This time he managed to breathe. Rin saw him but made no motion to stop any of the events that were taking place.
An unknown figure stood beside her and she didn't move. It looked so much like her, exactly like Rin, identical. Except Rin's usually happy blue eyes were a faded blank blur next to the second Rin. They reflected dullness reminding Len of gradient color. The other Rin next to her had an arm draped around blue eyed Rin. She smiled.
Something was off, something was very wrong. It didn't take Len too long to figure out. Unlike the Rin he knew, the second Rin smiled sadistically. A knowing smirk Len knew and often made himself when he was right. She whispered sweet nothings into Rin's ear. Were her eyes red?
Len kicked to keep himself afloat but no longer found enough strength. He started to sink again, the liquid again trying to consume him and separate him from Rin. He screamed out for Rin to help him, but the second Rin held her firmly by the shoulder. She didn't allow her to move.
The liquid caught up to his neck and he was slipping under it again. Dreading to replay his struggle. Len called again for Rin and this time she responded. She was about to say something but the second Rin stepped infront of her and smiled.
"I told her I was right." It was the last thing Len heard before the teal sea consumed him.
"Len! Len! Are you okay? You're trembling...and tears." Len was lost for a couple seconds before he realized where he was and who's voice was speaking to him.
Miku was on top of him, staring at him. She didn't have a shirt on and looked extremely worried and concerned. She'd mentioned tears but she wasn't crying.
Len felt himself trembling and reached up with shaky hands for his face. He touched his cheeks. They were infact wet with tears and even as he affirmed this, new ones spilled down to meet the old ones.
Stunned, he let his hands fall to his sides and stared, not at anything in particular. The dream he'd just had...had been too vivid.
"Did I say anything?" Len asked cautiously. Miku shook her head.
"You kinda just zoned out..." Len forced his eyes closed in hopes of stopping his tears. He spoke so quietly Miku almost didn't hear him.
"Off...," Len ordered. Miku sat there still, quite stunned. She couldn't have possibly heard him correctly.
"W-What?" She asked. Knowing Len couldn't have said what he had. She felt him shaking underneath her, no longer in a way that was fear. More so, anger.
"Off..." Len repeated, much louder than last time.
"Len...? Len think about this-"
"Off!....just off." Len forcefully pushed her away so he could sit upright. He swung his legs over the bed and sat hunched over.
Miku fought the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. Len had been fine with this earlier and then now...She looked away. The atmosphere was heavy and she felt the need to apologize.
Len's fringe hung over his face and she couldn't see his expression. She felt like reaching out for him or hugging him but neither were a viable option. If he slapped her hand away, she couldn't bear the rejection.
"Len, I'm sorry I did this...I just...I'm sorry." Len didn't respond, he also didn't move. His silence sliced Miku deep like a dagger but hung and split apart in her like a bullet. Miku felt herself slipping. She started to panic and a knot tied in her throat.
"Len, I'm sorry, please don't just suddenly lock your heart away again. Don't hate me, I'll go if you want. I'm sorry..." Miku couldn't stop herself from trembling and Len didn't reach out to stop it either.
She felt the bed rise as Len left it. She watched him grab his belt and replace it firmly back around his pants. He tugged on his shirt and Miku noted that not once did he look at her.
"Len? You don't hate me right? I-"
"I'm going for a jog." Len interrupted coldly. Miku sat stunned. She attempted to speak but her voice faltered. The silence returned and Len tossed Miku's shirt at her.
"I'll...I'll go with you if you'd like Len." Miku said, but Len shook his head.
"Please don't, I need time to myself." Len breathed in and felt a tug on his sleeve.
He glanced back at Miku and she stared into his eyes. Searching them for something, a hint of something, anything.
"Len, I love-"
"Miku. Don't," He finished. An expression of profound hurt crossed Miku's face. Len bit his lip, hardened his heart and tugged his sleeve away. Hesitantly Miku rose from the bed and reached out. She placed a hand on his chest. Whatever she found there seemed to confirm her worry, and most importantly, fear.
Whatever she'd desperately searched so hard for, wasn't there. Her eyes returned to his and Miku stared at him. For a few seconds Len stared back and held it. He wasn't necessarily blind to the emotions in Miku's eyes, but he didn't dwell on them either.
He removed her hand from his chest and returned it to her. Having as little contact as possible.
"I'm going," Len said. He almost turned his back but Miku spoke.
"Don't do this Len...what are you trying to do? What are you trying to prove? It doesn't work you know...locking yourself away." She stood in his silence when he didn't answer. "Where the hell has your heart gone? In those few seconds what were you thinking? Is it my fault? Tell me, I care about you."
Miku stepped forward and attempted to place a hand on Len's cheek. He avoided her touch and stepped away. She let her hand fall to her side.
"I haven't been myself," he finally replied.
"No, you've been better than yourself. I mean look, you're here with friends aren't you? It's amazing."
"I was already amazing on my own," Len pointed out.
"Len..." Miku said disapprovingly. She sounded sad and remorseful. "Don't."
"No, you don't Miku. Does it look like I need you or anybody to worry about me?" Len sounded disgusted that she'd implied he needed others to watch out for him.
"Is that what this is about! You can't say that Len. You have a lot of people who care about you. Don't just change your mind so suddenly."
"Last time I checked, I wasn't you or anybody's problem. Likewise none of you are mine. I'm going."
Len turned his back on Miku and headed for the door. He gripped the handle and again he felt Miku grab his sleeve.
"Can I leave please?" Len asked sourly.
"Len, if this is because of what just happened I'm sorry okay. I can fix it." Violently he jerked his sleeve away from her grasp. Another flash of hurt crossed Miku's face but he ignored it. He didn't care and wouldn't care. He had always been his own center. When was it that it had stopped being so?
People uninvitingly had walked into his life and made their importance known. Earlier must have been a little reminder. Len had always been on his own and didn't need anyone. He'd made friends with himself and need not be bothered by anyone else. Starting with Miku and anyone else who was trying to force their way into his life.
"I don't need to be fixed," Len bit harshly. Miku stepped back at his anger. Good, he thought. He'd had a moment of clarity indeed. A genius could find ways to excel on their own. Other people would only slow him down and get in the way.
He stepped forward and his eyes burned into Miku. She shrank back but the bed kept her pinned in Len's personal space. She'd never forget what he'd say next. The words were carved into her like plexiglas and would remain forever like a scar.
"I'm not broken, and I'm not you. I don't need fixing."
Len turned away and unlocked the door. He turned the handle and walked out. Leaving Miku to the silence of the boys room.
No longer feeling any strength in her legs she dropped and sat on the bed limply. She sat there for a while, processing what had happened. Len's harsh words stung her like the worst poison. As if she'd been force fed chemicals and was feeling the after effects.
She pulled in her knees and rested her chin on them. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself to keep from panicking and crying.
She'd done stupid things before but never like this. What on earth had she tried to do? Let alone been thinking? This wasn't her...she didn't and would've never tried something like that before. Ultimately she'd made the problem worse for herself and everyone else as a consequence.
If Len hated her now, how could she go on?
She had to stop this. This insistent ridiculous jealousy and selfishness. Because of it Len had returned to hating everyone equally. This wasn't her. If her mother were still alive, she'd be ashamed.
Never before had Miku let her emotions rule her so intensely. So why now of all times? A searing pain sliced her temple and Miku crumpled to the bed.
Maybe because she'd never had any real threats before. She didn't think there'd be any possibility Len would be taken from her before. Her love for Len hadn't reached it's pinnacle.
When had simply loving him stopped being enough? Had it been seeing Rin with him? By his side like she'd used to be? Had it possibly been the moment Rin had kissed him and it had dawned on Miku that even if she loved him, Len was still a free man?
It wasn't enough to love him anymore. She needed him to recognize her and notice her. For it to be a loss not to be with her. For him to yearn every second of the day to be next to her. To give her his love and his body and soul. For everything about Len Kagamine to resolve around her.
Not for it to only be about him and surely not about Rin. For a few seconds it had been. Fire burned in Miku at the thought. She could be everything Len needed. She could be part of his family and his future.
Miku settled into Len's bed. It still smelled of him and his warmth lingered. Her mind fell absent and before she realized what she was doing her hands were trapping themselves in his blankets. Lacing themselves with his warmth. She only wanted Len to love her. He was her everything. Teto was right, if you'd worked hard, something that should belong to you shouldn't be taken.
Why couldn't Rin understand that? Maybe she did, but she wouldn't step aside. Miku hated her for that. Why care about others if the whole world revolved around you?
Yet, it was Miku's love that had angered Len and set him as he was now.
Miku shook her head. No, that couldn't possibly be true. It wasn't her fault. Everything had been fine until Len had zoned out. She hadn't told him because she hadn't wanted to believe it. Despite that she'd heard it. During that time, Len softly had said Rin's name. Not hers.
She'd hated it. Detested it. Her fury enflamed too hot and angry to describe. She'd successfully hidden it from him, forced herself to think she hadn't heard what she had. None of this was her fault. If Rin hadn't crossed his thoughts, Miku would've had everything.
All of it, all of Len would've been hers. Yet even not present, Rin had gotten in her way. Miku glared and threw the nearest thing she saw at the wall with a grunt. The plate that had once been full of cookies, now empty slammed against the wall with fearful impact. It shattered to pieces that strung themselves across the carpet.
This wasn't the end. Miku wouldn't let it be the end.
Everything that was rightfully hers would be hers. It was Rin who'd caused him that pain, not her. It was Rin that had caused tears to slide down Len's gorgeous cheeks and stunning features. It had been Rin, not her.
She hadn't hurt Len in the slightest. Nor had she caused his current state. If all had gone for her, he would've happily woke up next to her the following morning. Peaceful, refreshed and a little sore. Miku got out of bed and charged for the door.
With Len gone she couldn't stay in the room. However, she couldn't burst out into the living room angry. She relaxed the features of her face and looked in the mirror. Normal, they looked fine but her eyes gave her away. That too she fixed, thinking of happy images of her and Len.
Her mind halted her before she exited the door. She turned to find Len's suitcase. She threw it open and dug around for a shirt, not wanting to wear hers. Needing to have a piece of something to remind her of Len other than the hot and cold inferno raging inside her. She threw the shirt on quickly and neatly returned Len's things to his suitcase and shoved it under the bed.
Finally she left the boys room. She felt a presence next to her and quickly turned to see none other than Teto leaning against the wall. Miku took a step back, startled. Her mind darted to the plate she'd thrown and she wondered if Teto had heard. She smiled innocent enough.
"Oh, Teto? What on earth are you still doing up?" Miku asked politely a smile plastered on her face. Teto casted a sideways glance at Miku before turning her head and looking straight at Miku.
"I thought I'd take the liberty of making your little white lie true. The boys are asleep on the couch. Meanwhile Luka is in our room with Rin, who knows what they're doing but I kept people away from this door."
Miku stood there speechless. She tried to hide that fact but knew Teto could see through her effortlessly. The girl had invaded her mind and her privacy. Teto had however, done her a great service. Still, Miku felt uneasy about whether Teto had heard her and everything that had gone on. Miku's mind merely told her one thing. Teto is not your enemy. Miku pondered the thought for a little.
"Teto, what you said to me before outside. Was that true?" A corner of Teto's mouth curled upwards into a smirk.
"Of course it was, we're friends aren't we? I can't stand by and watch something be taken from a friend. Why...is there a...problem concerning Rin?" Teto sounded almost anxious and knowing. As if she'd already known the events that were going to take place. As if she'd planned so all along.
It was just a nagging feeling, so Miku let it go. Miku frowned as she really contemplated her thoughts. Emotions drained from her face. She revealed the cold bitter hatred she'd brewed to Teto. Teto made no comments but looked knowingly at Miku.
"Teto?"
"Yes, Miku?"
"Get rid of her," The venom in Miku's voice stung even her. It was strangely soothing. She smiled bitterly and coldly without emotion. Teto cast her an almost pleased smile.
"Of course, anything for you Miku." Miku raised a hand before Teto could leave.
"I have one condition though," Teto raised an eyebrow. "I'm gonna take your advice and crush her a little, so she never shows her face infront of Len again." The light chuckle Teto let out was as if she already knew such a thing were going to happen.
"A little?" She asked Miku as if to revise her statement. Miku thought for a second and met Teto's eyes again.
"How about, till there's nothing of her left? Unless you have a problem with that?" For the first time Teto smiled a whole entire smile at Miku.
"Perfectly fine by me. Pieces are more than adequate for that man." Before Miku could ask what she meant Teto was gone with a flick of her heels. Walking back to the girls room without a glance backwards.
Miku followed Teto, a full smile on her face. She remembered what Len said to her but his words barely scratched the surface. They lingered there still hot in her mind like a fresh cut. She settled her thoughts elsewhere. Broken or not, she would help him by getting rid of the root of his problems.
Teto walked quickly knowing it would be difficult to hide the smile on her face. Everything, everything was falling into place just as she'd planned it. Sure, with a few minor details she hadn't thought of. Nonetheless, the plan, her plan, could be set into action.
There was no more need to prolong anything. She'd set people up to watch them fall. And fall hard they would. Miku, Len, Rin, Him, Luka, and even Mikuo if necessary. All would fall at the hands of her redemption. She'd walk away with her head held high leaving damnation in her wake.
The boss only said she needed to accomplish getting Rin back to the agency. He never said unharmed or unbroken. Simply for her to be there. If she needed to ship Rin in a box back to him, so be it. Teto didn't care about the damage she'd cause. She'd suffered for far too much for far too long. Now it was someone else's turn. Infact, everyone but her and her brother needed to suffer.
Truthfully she had nothing against Len or anyone of them personally. However, business was business. Sometimes a harsh and often cruel, heartless world with an even worse set of laws. Teto would walk out of the agency with her brother and never look back. Not once, would she regret or look back.
The cool wind blew and the streets were littered with trash. A sight Len frequently saw. A sight more common than one would think. He followed the sidewalk mindlessly, just walking heading nowhere in particular, none too quickly. The ground was still moist from the storm and shudders ran through his body as he recalled what he'd been through not too long ago.
Plants still dripped rainy dew that clattered to the ground and shattered angelically like crystals. The air was light, proving easy to breathe with a troubled mind. It had a certain freshness to it that was unachievable in the city.
Len needed the air and the lightness helped disperse the dreadful thoughts that ravaged his mind. There were no city sounds as distractions, though he desperately needed one. Often he was good with silence but out here in the country it was unnerving and eerie to him.
He'd left the hotel only minutes ago but a cluster of emotions still rocked him at his core. Dread raged strongest among those unexplainably along with guilt. He was lost in a fighting mental state between himself and something else he was denying. He just wanted to be away and secluded. Not near people and especially not Miku.
What on earth had he been thinking? Doing even? He'd dropped his pride and presented himself dishonorably. The thought allowed venom into his thoughts that burned holes like acid. His pride felt stained at how easily he'd tucked it away. A realization like icy fire hit him mentally and crushed him like a pile of weights. It was a realization that, he hadn't been thinking in the slightest. At least about things he should've been thinking about.
Thus, landing himself into the situation in the first place.
He didn't dare repeat or replay any of the things he had been thinking about. Mostly for his own safety.
Len's head felt heavy, almost as if he'd been drugged but he held it up. He stumbled under the weight and righted himself. He never did such ungraceful things like stumbling. Not for anyone and most definitely not infront of anyone. His older brother had taught him the importance of standing straight and proper. His entire family had taught him to hold his head high always.
No matter what happened. No matter what action, no matter the situation. He had to hold his head high and pridefully. Like a Kagamine. The arrogance and sarcasm had come on its own.
He'd zoned out in the middle of his affairs with Miku and shamelessly another person had come to mind. Miku hadn't necessarily done anything wrong as much as he had and yet he'd lashed out at her.
Before he would've justified himself and yet, walking here now wanting to; he couldn't. He wasn't exactly about to turn around with flowers and chocolate and apologize either. He'd already stained his pride enough for a lifetime. If he never made such a foolish decision again, it'd be too soon.
It was just that, he'd been in pain. Even now, he still felt the lingering touch of the words and thoughts. Pain that accompanied the poison coursing through him. All from the daydream he'd had. It wasn't a pain he was used to like physical pain, combat and sore muscles. But a pain that was emotional.
It had shocked him to find himself in that much agony. He'd never felt any emotional pain like it before. Mostly because he had always kept people at a distance, a far one at that. His heart had been simply nonexistent to his peers and others around him.
He didn't get close to people for that reason along with others. Petty things like idiocy and pure annoyance really made him hate people.
"Don't just suddenly lock your heart away again," Miku had said to him. Her words replayed, an irritable bug Len couldn't rid himself of.
Locked his heart away? What was he? An organ donor? His heart was his and his alone. Meant for one and not to be shared. If a heart was meant to be shared everyone would be linked together. Miku was an idiot and yet...he'd almost...Len came to an abrupt stop.
How was it that you could be in bed with someone and think of someone else completely irrelevant? Len couldn't understand, neither could he put the pieces together. Whether they were pieces of himself or others, he wasn't sure. Not anymore.
He ran his fingers through his hair. Finger combing it for a while he leaned against something. What it was, he didn't care. If he got dirty from it, so be it.
He felt as if everything he'd ever been was falling apart before him. He stared at his reflection in a puddle beneath his feet. He was still the same and yet, felt wrong.
He'd lashed out at people before but never like that. Never like that. Least of all at a girl. What right had Miku to just so suddenly force her feelings on him? His anger was justified wasn't it? He'd never truly got caught up in all this feeling junk. It was a nuisance that hindered his progress in his studies.
What was he supposed to say? How was it that one suddenly replied to such words as 'I love you?' He couldn't blindly tell someone he loved them when he didn't love anyone or even considered the thought.
It was the one phrase Len hadn't said to anyone before. Not even his parents or siblings. Not because he didn't love them, but because he believed they already knew. Saying it to them if they already knew was redundant in his opinion. So why was it that...? Len let out a frustrated sigh and slumped to the floor.
He felt confused and frustrated. A cluster of emotions threatened to overwhelm him and control his mind. Miku said he was locking his heart away. Despite that, what else was there to do? Since when had people invaded his personal space with hugs, useless conversation and things of the like?
Since when had he left the sanctity of his own home to hang out with others? Since when had there been others next to him?
Len was alone and had always been alone. He was alone and very much fancied being by himself. He'd made friends with himself and didn't need others. Other people were nuisances. He wasn't the kind of person to go on hikes with people and plan expeditions.
Why the hell was he out here!?
Len sighed heavily and whatever he was leaning against felt cool against his back. It was rough and full of kinks. He recognized it immediately as tree bark.
Len had left the hotel expecting to be seething angry. Angry at Miku and Rin both for violating his thoughts. Unfortunately, he wasn't. Infact, he felt guilty that he'd spoken to Miku so harshly. And he yearned to apologize to her. Just make everything right again.
Apologize for his faults and right his wrongs. He also hadn't visited Rin and knew he should've despite Miku's protests. He felt his face grow a little warm as he wondered if he'd be forgiven or not. Len dropped his head in his hands. What kind of delinquent felt the need to apologize?
"What have they done to me...?" he sighed, "Rin..." Len's head snapped up in shock. He hadn't meant to say her name and yet there it was on his lips. He pushed his fringe out of his eyes remembering he hadn't tied his hair up yet.
"Well, lookie here!" A voice called behind Len. It was high and quite girlish. Not a voice he knew. "Found you! That was easy! Honestly, and I thought it'd be difficult." Len's stood up and searched his surroundings. When had he wandered into the forest? Being here again so soon, he shuddered but took a few steps into the forest away from the road.
He scanned the trees and faintly was able to make out a lone figure that sat high above him. He squinted till his eyes adjusted. She wasn't just high up, she was aloft in the tree branches sitting on a branch too thin to possibly hold her weight and yet she sat on it; the wood unbending.
Suddenly she was right before him leering intensely into his eyes. Len took a step back at the suddenness; an effortless action. He hadn't seen her climb down the tree, infact he hadn't heard a sound. Her eyes were what struck him first. They were neon purple and blinded him with their intensity.
Her skin was pale, but not colorless. Her cheek bones were high and her face was young. It held an innocence to it and immediately Len thought of Rin. The girls hair was lengthy and voluminous, a lighter shade of lilac. It tumbled forward over her shoulders and parted two ways in a lustrous cascade. Everything about her was a blinding neon and Len squinted out of fear of being blinded.
She wore a black cloak that hugged her shapely thin frame. The darkness didn't exactly clash with the purple. He noticed her head was slightly misshapen but he blinked and realized they weren't. Her cloak had two bunny ears on top that flopped off to the sides. She had a purple dress, thigh highs and platform shoes all a bright violet. She was only a tad shorter than him but did not seem defenseless. Her stance was perfectly balanced as if she expected an incoming attack. She flashed him a skeptical look and pulled at his shirt sleeve.
"Wow, you look ridiculous," She giggled. The comment struck Len's pride and he had to reply.
"I look ridiculous? Looked in a mirror hippie?" Len snorted, his voice held a snarky tone.
"Oh, feisty aren't we Kagamine Len?" Hearing his name from the stranger caught Len off guard. Who was she and how did this freak know his name? He couldn't remember anyone like her at his school.
"How do you know who I am?" The question escaped his lips before he even knew he'd asked it.
"I know a great deal of things Kagamine boy~" She held his name on her tongue, stretching the syllable farther than it should've gone. Len shuddered and though she'd answered his question, foreboding ran through him. "Especially about you~"
"Who are you...?" Len asked, he backed up cautiously.
"I didn't tell you? Wow how rude of me huh? I'm Yuzuki Yakari. You can call me Yuzu if you like?" Yuzuki replied politely. She extended a hand and hesitantly Len shook it.
"Ok Yuzu, how do you know where I am and who I am?" Len asked. She wasn't infront of him anymore. Instead she was balancing on higher tree branches like she was on a tight rope.
"What? No, no, I just came to check you out on my own. Such a distance isn't that far for me anyway." Len frowned at the vague senseless answer. Then before Len could process much else Yuzu was falling. She teetered and fell off the branch. Her cloak swirled wildly above her as she fell.
Panicked, Len sprinted to catch her. Though seemingly weightless on the trees above she dropped like a stone. She was insane, no one could fall that far and live. Another flash of Rin ran through his mind but he brushed it off along with and urge to run from Yuzu and abandon the attempt to catch her. He didn't want any girls falling to their deaths on his accord. Even if it broke his arms in a few places.
She fell directly where he was standing and Len caught her in his arms. However, Len didn't feel as if he was lifting a person. Yuzuki was light, as light as when he'd carried Rin home the first day he'd found her. She was absolutely weightless and seemed to float in his arms. She also made no sound as he caught her.
"What, you...why are you so light?" Len asked. Yuzu shook her head and Len set her down upright.
"You really don't know much do you...," she sounded disinterested in him all of a sudden. Len recalled that she'd made no sound even as she walked. Things should've crunched underneath her feet, water should've splashed, her cloak should've ruffled, but it didn't. Goosebumps formed on his skin.
She was rather close to him again and Len stumbled backwards. He tripped over his own feet and fell. Yuzu plopped down on all fours to meet his eyes.
"Hold still Kagamine boy." She gripped his shirt and brought herself close to him. She inhaled deeply and glanced around. Len sat frozen, unable to make a comment while the girl smelled him. She smiled slyly. "Just what have you been doing Kagamine?" Len felt his face fluster and he pulled away from Yuzu. He felt growing irritability deep within him.
"Look, what do you want from me!" Len shouted. Yuzu's head snapped up in his direction and she tilted her head, shooting him a quizzical look.
"Wasn't that already clear?"
"N-" Yuzuki grabbed Len's face in one hand. None too gently she gripped it, twisting his face from side to side. Her hands were cold but seemed to sap his heat from him the longer they held on. Len shivered.
"Hmm..." Len slapped her hands away but still felt the imprint of her fingers. How dare this stranger touch him.
"Enough!" Len screamed. His voice echoed but was stopped short, entrapped by the density of the forest. The friendliness drained from Yuzu's face.
"Don't hand me orders Kagamine boy, else I might just have to kill you." The hostile acid in her voice made Len flinch. He rarely flinched at anything but Yuzu's voice singed him, burning a hole of obedience into his mind. He scowled, wanted to speak and yet didn't speak again.
Yuzu stood up and Len stayed where he was.
"Get up,"she ordered coldly. The commanding glare she shot him was glacial and immediately heat drained from Len's body. Though his pride screamed to defy her, Len stood but not without sitting for a while longer. Suddenly long cold fingers were under Len's chin forcing him to look at her. Yuzu was incredibly strong.
Her eyes cut at him direct and hostile. Seeming to cut away some invisible armor he had around him. Len never felt vulnerable but standing here with Yuzu staring him in the face, he felt weak. She seemed to be taking in his features and studying him.
"Gonna be done drooling over me anytime soon?" Len asked. A small smile crept over his face as a flash of annoyance ran through Yuzu's eyes. She gripped his chin with sudden ferocity, her nails dug into his skin painfully. Beads of blood slid down her fingers.
"Arrogance already huh?" Yuzu released Len and stepped back. She shook her head "Honestly, she knows how to pick em..." The last few words were lost on him.
Len felt blood slowly trickle down where Yuzu had cut his face. He clenched his fists refusing to wipe it away. He held his head high. Yuzuki stood infront of him, hostility gone from her expression. He went to shove her but she was gone again. Up in the tree branches legs swinging as if she was on a chair too big for her.
"How did you-"
"Get up here so fast?" Yuzu replied, finishing his question. She blew straggles of hair outta her face. "Being abnormally fast does have its disadvantages like messy hair. Oh! Let me see your hair!" Len hit the ground with shocking impact. Yuzu pinned him like a panther and tousled his hair.
"Don't touch me!" Again Len attempted to shove her but she disappeared and his hands found pure air.
"Haha, fun! Again, again! Let's fight." Len was helped to his feet so fast he fell again. He rolled and got to his feet, Yuzu stood opposite of him.
With a blur of motion Yuzu jumped at him, she swung a punch for his ribs. Len reflexively dodged the attack. When Yuzu should've fallen, she stood and spun to her right, striking at Len's other side.
He barely blocked the blow and backpedaled frantically as to not lose his balance. He was stunned by her speed. A sharp sound shot through the air and Len realized it was laughter. Yuzu's specifically.
She attacked again swinging at his head. Len took the advantage and evaded her. He swept his foot at her legs. Yuzuki easily sidestepped him with ease. At that moment, Len knew Yuzu was toying with him.
He didn't get the chance to even process his next attack as Yuzu was no longer infront of him. Len spun instinctively to shield his back sensing her presence. Recklessly Len kicked infront of him and a wave of happiness shot through him as it connected with soft flesh.
He heard a curse and swiftly swept a foot at Yuzu's legs. Again legs met legs and Len witnessed Yuzuki fall. Even her fall was graceful but she wasn't on the ground for long. She kicked her legs forward in an arch and almost effortlessly she was on her feet again.
She blurred again before his eyes and disappeared. Len stood where he was, feeling like a sitting duck. Sharp fingers pressed lightly into the back of his neck.
"Click," he didn't have to look to know it was Yuzu who was behind him. Whatever she was gonna say she didn't get to finish it because Len's elbow connected with her stomach. He spun to see her hunched over. For a few seconds he was worried about her. Maybe he'd hit her too hard.
Just as he thought it, she snuck a look at him and stuck a tongue out at him. A blade bit into Len's neck, it didn't break the skin but he felt it.
"If this were a real fight you'd be dead Kagamine boy~" Yuzuki laughed, sounding light hearted about the subject. She pressed the blade she wielded closer to his throat. Len thought she might slit his throat but she backed up and tucked the weapon into her cloak. "I'll give you points for holding your own against me." Yuzu smiled friendly at him. "Though you had an advantage, you could've finished me off while I was hunched over." Len shook his head.
"That wasn't even your full strength, I can tell when someones holding back."
"I'm not the only one guilty of that crime." Len's face flushed. He looked away.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're not as brutal as him..." Yuzu commented.
"What?"
"Nothing," Yuzu finished. She moved onto a new topic. "My real strength isn't much more than that anyway."All of a sudden Yuzu seemed so distant but she turned back to Len cheerfully. "At least you passed, you have moderate enough reflexes."
"What do you mean your strength isn't much more than that?" Len knew he should've been more worried. Something in his conscience was telling him so. However Yuzu didn't have any evil intentions. At least, he didn't feel any.
"I'm first generation so I'm not really a favorite. Since I'm still sort of bugged." Yuzu poked at her hand and Len found he was confused again.
"First Generation? I don't understand what you're saying."
"Oh come on Kagamine boy keep up. Keep up! So slow...so slow..."
"Why are you repeating yourself? And stop calling me Kagamine boy, I'm not a child."
"Not yet a man but not yet a woman, yes?"
"What?" Len said. Minor pain shot through Len's forehead. Yuzu had flicked him between the eyebrows. He attempted to shove Yuzu but she evaded him.
"We've been through this Kagamine boy...you're so slow," Yuzu whined and pouted. "Geez, you think people learn." Len strode forward and caught Yuzuki by her hand.
"Okay, tell me honestly who you are Yuzu. How do you know me?" Yuzu's eyes found his. If Len's eyes weren't playing him, he saw a slight blush in her cheeks.
"I didn't tell you? Wow how rude of me huh? I'm Yuzuki Yakari. You can call me Yuzu if you like?" Len shook his head in disbelief.
"You already said that," he stated firmly.
Yuzu only watched him puzzled. She frowned and her face screwed up. As if she was thinking really hard about something. She raised her free hand to her temple and placed it there. Massaging it the way Len saw his mother do sometimes when she was frustrated or in mental pain.
"I did? Excuse me then..." Yuzu gripped at her head and her eyes closed. "I...I already said...but I couldn't have. Kagamine boy..." Len let go of her wrist and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Hey? Are you okay?" Len asked, he was surprised by the concern in his voice.
"I couldn't have said that, I didn't...I didn't!" Yuzu screamed. Violently she shook her head and Len released her.
"Hey? What's wrong, Yuzu?" Yuzu's head snapped up and her eyes ran over him. Len sighed in relief.
"I wasn't speaking to you Kagamine," she said. However, Len looked around. He was the only one here she could've been speaking to.
She stared up at him and seemed cheerful again. A chill ran through him. She locked eyes with him but her attention seemed to drift elsewhere. As if someone else was talking to her. "I gotta go now Kagamine boy. Chat ya later, kay?" Then she was gone. Possibly the strangest girl Len had ever met left him; just like that. He wouldn't forget her though.
Something inside him gave him a compelling sense that he would see her again anyway. However, not on such friendly terms next time around. Len sighed and with dread turned to head back the way he'd come from.
If everyone was awake, he'd have explaining to do. Not that he was going to.