Chapter Fifty Three – What He Doesn't Know

Olivia couldn't quite shake the feeling that she was misbehaving as she headed toward the subway. If Ben knew she'd left her apartment to visit the kids at the hospital since she'd had to cancel on them two days ago he would not be happy. He would be even more unhappy if he knew she still had some traces of a headache. It wasn't anything bad. Hardly more than a slight, ordinary headache for anyone else. Just to be safe though she'd taken one of her headache pills before she'd left her apartment. Seeing the kids was important enough for her to risk a higher volume headache and Ben's potential wrath. As for Ben's possible displeasure, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Even if he did find out, he'd never be able to win the argument. She was an adult and knew what she could and couldn't handle. This was something she knew would be worth it. Well, unless she wound up becoming a patient at Mercy instead of a volunteer, but she tried not to think about that.

When she arrived at the hospital she had to hope the four individual kids she needed to see would be available. They could be in and out of their rooms for treatment all day. It was one of the reasons why Caroline did almost all of the scheduling. She knew, at least for the most part, when each patient would have free time. Olivia's first stop would be with one of Suvi's youngest friends. Little Ty had celebrated his fourth birthday in the hospital. Even a few steps away from his room she could hear Ty babbling away, which was good news for her. She poked her head around the door, a bright smile on her face.

"Peek-a-boo."

Ty's head snapped up and swung toward the door so fast he could have given himself whiplash. His entire face lit up, hiding some of the evidence of his sickness.

"Ms. Benson! Is Suvi here too?"

Olivia had to try hard not to laugh. As much as the kids liked her, Suvi was by far the more important of the two of them. That was fine. It was why she was there after all.

"Of course he is. I couldn't very well come without him."

She stepped into the room, revealing that Suvi was right at her side for the first time. Suvi's ears pricked when he saw Ty and his tongue dropped happily out of his mouth.

"Suvi!" Ty nearly screeched.

The volume and pitch of his voice sent stabbing pain shooting through Olivia's head. Her eyes flickered closed briefly as she fought off the pain. Thankfully it didn't last long, though she was left with a base headache a bit worse than it had been. When she opened her eyes again Suvi had his head tipped back and was looking up at her. She smiled softly at him, hoping to reassure him, and unclipped his leash.

"I'm okay. Go say hello."

He gave her hand a quick lick and trotted over to Ty's bedside. After he got his front paws up on the bed Ty immediately buried his hands into Suvi's fur. Suvi's tail began wagging just as quickly. While Ty focused on Suvi, his mother moved away from the bed and came to join Olivia.

"Are you alright?" she whispered so she wouldn't attract her son's attention.

"I'm fine," Olivia returned.

Based on the look she was given in return Ty's mom didn't really believe her. She'd probably seen Olivia's earlier wince. Thankfully though she didn't press any further. Instead she changed topics.

"We weren't expecting you today."

"I know. I didn't want to disappoint them more than I already did since I couldn't come earlier."

"He was pretty disappointed, but things happen. We got through."

He'd been near inconsolable really. There'd been tears and silence after he'd realized Olivia and Suvi wouldn't be coming. It had taken an incredibly long time to calm him down.

"I'm sorry," Olivia murmured softly.

Ty's mom looked up at her in surprise and gently touched her arm. Olivia's eyes fluttered over toward her.

"It's alright. You're here now, and I doubt you even should be yet."

Olivia blinked in response and her mouth dropped open to ask what that meant, but she didn't have the chance.

"You're pale, Olivia."

Again Olivia opened her mouth to protest, but Ty's mom was having none of it.

"I've seen you enough times to know. Something isn't right with you right now. I'm guessing that has something to do with why you weren't here Tuesday?"

Olivia bit her lip but knew she couldn't deny it.

"It's been a long few days," she admitted, "but I'm okay enough to be here."

"Let's make sure you stay that way. Why don't you sit down and rest?"

She motioned toward a nearby chair, and Olivia happily sat down. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Olivia wasn't as confident that she could make it through the day as she had been on her way over to the hospital. Hopefully sitting down for a little bit would help.

After spending almost half an hour with Ty she moved on to the next child. When she and Suvi walked in they were greeted with just as much excitement as Ty had shown, though thankfully the volume level was somewhat lower. Again she stayed for half an hour, but this time they were interrupted once by a nurse coming in to check vitals. Once the nurse was gone Suvi went back to doing what he did best, bringing smiles to those who were hurting. Olivia took that time to try and relax and boost her energy a little. She could already feel exhaustion beginning to settle in, and there were still two more visits after this one. Somehow she was going to have to find a way to make it through both of those.

Except neither of the children were in their rooms when she stopped by. Unsure what to do, Olivia could only stand at the door. Did she wait for one of them to come back? She didn't know how long that would take, but it could be hours. So did she just go home? That didn't really seem right either. In the end she was saved from making the decision when Caroline spotted her in the hallway.

"Olivia?"

"Caroline, hi." Olivia turned and glanced back toward the empty room for a second. "Do you know where Jaidon and Tara are? I thought I would stop by and see them now that I'm feeling better."

Caroline smiled and motioned for Olivia to follow her.

"They're both probably in the chemo bay. I'll show you. They'll be excited."

"Thanks."

"I should be the one thanking you. You didn't have to try and make this up."

Olivia smiled softly.

"I wanted to."

They walked the rest of the way in silence. When they reached the right door Caroline paused and turned to face Olivia.

"Don't push yourself too hard, okay?"

"Okay."

She flashed Caroline a bright smile of reassurance before kneeling down and unclipping Suvi's leash once again. After giving Suvi the command to walk in and visit she opened the door for him. He was more than happy to trot inside ahead of her. Even from outside of the door the delighted cries of his name were audible. Olivia smiled once more at Caroline before stepping through the doorway after Suvi. Her arrival was hardly even noticed. Suvi was sitting between Jaidon and Tara, and both children were busy petting him. It was Suvi who spotted her first, but he didn't do anything besides look over at her and wag his tail. His gaze did eventually draw Tara's attention, and she followed it to Olivia.

"Hi, Ms. Benson. You finally made it."

"Hi, Tara. Hi, Jaidon."

Jaidon, who was already playing with Suvi's ears, scowled up at Olivia.

"Where were you?"

Tara turned to glower at Jaidon in return. Sure Olivia was a few days late, but she was there now. That was really all she cared about. She would rather have Suvi there late than not at all. Olivia offered Tara a smile that she hoped would calm the little girl down before turning her attention to Jaidon.

"I was resting at home because I wasn't feeling very good."

Jaidon softened a little with that explanation. He knew what it was like not to feel good. In fact, he didn't feel good far more often than he felt okay. Before he could say anything though, Tara cut in.

"Are you okay now?"

"I'm doing better," Olivia assured.

"Good."

"What was wrong?" Jaidon asked.

"Do you remember why I have Suvi?"

"So you can bring him to see us."

He smiled brightly at Olivia. His personality definitely reminded her of Ben. She had no idea how he could manage to be so goofy and teasing despite everything he had been through, and she really didn't know how to reply to his joke about Suvi either. Thankfully she didn't have to respond since Tara handled that for her.

"She does not! Olivia has Suvi because he really hurt her head and needs someone to help her."

Olivia smiled softly. It was an incredibly simplistic explanation of why she needed Suvi, but it was also relatively true. What was really important was that it gave her the lead-in she needed.

"That's right, and I really needed his help the last two days. I was having such bad headaches that I couldn't get out of bed."

"Ones where you don't want the lights on or anyone to make any noise?" Jaidon asked.

"Exactly like that."

Again Jaidon's eyes dropped, feeling a bit guilty over his earlier anger at Olivia, and he focused on petting Suvi. Tara was busy petting him too, but there was more than enough fur to go around.

"I get headaches like that sometimes too," he whispered. "Nothing ever really helps when it hurts that much."

Olivia had to agree. Even her prescription strength headache medication hadn't made a dent in the pain. She knew how bad it had been for her, but it was even worse to know that a child was suffering through similar pain.

"I know something that helps," Tara said, causing both Olivia and Jaidon's heads to come up. "Suvi!"

A smile washed over Olivia's face, and she reached over to rub Suvi's head so all three of their hands were on him. It was funny how such a simplistic answer really could make all the difference.

"That's right. He does."