Sunstreaker never had a pet before. Never wanted one either, although the appeal of Megatron's communications officer's, Ravage, the savagery the small creature was capable of, the destruction, that he could appreciate.

And now he had Alexis.

He fed her, cared for her, clothed her, protected her and even tried to train her, although Alexis managed to turn that around on him.

Whenever he became morose or frustrated and directed it at her, whenever he said too much or went too far, Alexis would walk away, perhaps understanding why yet unwilling to be a target for his outbursts. She forced him to redact and hold back, to adapt to her.

As repugnant as that was, the idea of her leaving him made Sunny's systems heat and his vision crackle, an unfamiliar coil tugging fear creating an even more unfamiliar alarm that made him unwilling to be left alone.

Things were tolerable when she was near him, even manageable. Without Alexis, the fear and alarm returned, leaving him shaking and desperate, leaving him dismayed and repulsed by his desperation. He knew it was just the bond he had with the female, knew with his spark formatted to the femme that his reactions, while magnified by his grievous circumstances, wouldn't have been so terrifying if Alexis allowed him to touch her.

If she had relations with him, Alexis would feel attached to him. It was one of the human traits he remembered from the tedious research he had done regarding them. Females of the species more often than not, confused sex with intimacy, the chemicals released through the encounter giving them an illusion of closeness.

The idea of being a human male and having her was not as disgusting as it once was. Not when they weren't connecting as they should have when he sparked her. Or at least, she wasn't connecting to him. A bothersome truth that allowed him to see, although not fully acknowledge, how carelessly he had treated the femmes in his past, how it had never, not once, been about them, but about him.

Sunstreaker wasn't to see Alexis for five days after the news of her friend's death. The isolation he felt. The misery of truths and the facing over again of what had happened to his brother and in effect to him. Megacycles of torture would have been less cruel than the suffrage of losing his other half.

He wanted to hurt and end, wanted to make others suffer and feel such misery. And he did. Only this time he was careful to keep his activities so hidden away from the female and her objections that could give her the reason she lost her fragile willingness to stay with him. Make him lose his tolerance and kindness as he defaulted to much easier force.

And he would force her.

She was far too kind, too compassionate, but now that her heartfelt inclinations were entirely directed on him, now that Sunny knew what it was for Alexis to be focused on someone, on him, no matter what the reason, he found his necessity for confrontation and conflict with her not as keenly as before.

Yes, there was still conflict between them, perhaps there always would be, but that was only an enticement, an encouragement.

"You can't be serious, Sunstreaker," Alexis replied, her voice gravelly and low. She was frowning, her entire expression darkening with the downward curve of her mouth.

He should have felt embarrassed to be caught outside her quarters, but it wasn't the first time he had gone there and just lingered.

The female had nearly retreated back to her quarters when she caught the sight of him, but his pediform placed through her small door prevented that.

"I don't feel like going anywhere," Alexis added, trying to return his pointed stare only to falter and redirect her attentions toward the deck. She was self-conscious and befuddled, fingers curled tight on the sleeve of her sleeping shirt, her thin pants wrinkled and even torn on the left ankle, giving him a minuscule view of a small bruise on her foot.

"You will do this for me," Sunny reasserted, not bothering to redirect his gaze away from her. He thoroughly enjoyed the unease he was able to cause in her when he allowed his optics to roam and hover. "If you think you can just stay here and do whatever it is you do all day, you can forget it. Especially when you aren't even sharing my berth."

The only thing was that he knew exactly what Alexis did every day. Human-sized furniture and essentials weren't the only thing he had installed in her quarters. Unable to be near her, he resorted to surveillance equipment that he salvaged from a mission that had allowed him and his brother to keep track of Decepticon activities on a planetary communications array.

Alexis slept. She read. She cried. She prayed. She took long baths and then cried some more. She also stitched on a large cloth, small beads and even finer thread used as she made small patterns on thick material. He had even seen her change and dress, disappointed when not much skin was shown, her methods used to cloth herself hindering a clear view.

But he had a peak of her naked back, of her lean legs, had seen the provocative scar on her lower right thigh that she had received on Renth.

She didn't maintain herself as she could have. Hardly spent any time on her personal appearance, as if it didn't even matter. But when she brushed her hair in the morning, or applied lotion to her face, neck and hands after a bath, or applied balm to her full mouth, he rather wished that she did. Her schedule not absolute, he had managed to miss her small personal regime on more than one occasion. And that was when he understood how the humans had the ability to get so attached to episodes on a TV. How frustrating it could be to miss a part, how quickly an addiction it became to see the next part, how intolerable it was to be forced to wait.

He didn't expect to be so engaged by what the female did, to be disappointed by what she didn't.

Sunstreaker felt no guilt at watching her in such an unauthorized manner. Doing so was the only thing that kept him from, what the female would have considered, disagreeable, perhaps even, unpleasant things.

Restraint for him wasn't a possibility. But he could deflect for a while at least. It had been a while since she had really been touched and he knew certain needs couldn't be ignored, not even by her.

Sunstreaker told Alexis exactly what he wanted her to do, and where they were going. The space port they were heading toward was the most opulent in the sector. To even get permission to be in its residing sector was a challenge. But he needed special equipment, equipment he wanted to get without anyone recognizing him. It wasn't until he told her the name of the Space Port Rhyion that her gaze flicked back on him, her attention unexpectedly grabbed.

"Okay. I will go."

"Just like that?" he asked of her, suspicion turning his vocals grainy with mistrust.

Alexis frowned, brushed her dirty hair behind her ear and squirmed under his unflinching gaze.

"Airaih told me ab..."

"Fine," he cut her off sharply, unwilling to listen, strong enmity igniting toward the dead Vildan. "We will be there in twenty minutes."

"Then I will go take a shower and change clothes," she replied softly, her thoughts already elsewhere.

"Yes, I would highly recommend that." His optics rolled down her body, not as opposed as he put on to the smell of her unwashed body, to the lingering fragrance of her sweat and pain. He already had to stop himself twice from taking her scent more deeply into his intakes.

Sunstreaker followed her onto the space port, not that Alexis was aware. Creating a human form was not the only thing that his holo-form could do. It could also alter his physical appearance, even his very spark signature, allowing him to freely roam the space port... to shadow the female.

Not that he could be far away from her, or apart for too long. Their bond was too recent, and whether or not Alexis was bonded to him, he was to her, and that meant separations were a tenuous thing, meant spark sickness and pangs.

He could have followed her with his optics off-lined, with his sensors deactivated. Her energy signature was grafted to his spark, her presence as if a newly formed bruise that was still tender and sore.

She picked up the equipment at the shop he had told her about, but did not return immediately back to the ship as he had ordered. Alexis had been halfway back to the twins' ship when she halted, turned around, then turned around again, and once more turned back toward the shops on the promenade.

Alexis peered inside some of the shops, passing by most of the clothes boutiques. She hovered near a pet shop, a plant store and then after much consideration entered a tech shop and perused the newest advancements of technologies, enthralled by the devices within.

When the female left the shop a good hour later, she looked directly at him, offered him a small acknowledgment of a smile and then walked on.

Alexis had never smiled at him like that before and the small gesture steadily warmed him until he remembered that to Alexis he was a stranger.

Then Sunny fumed.

"You swear that this is not a weapon?" Alexis stood before his open hood, peering inside. The defletkon rod was firmly held in her hand. Her eyes kept shifting to it, fingers rolling it in her hand as she tried to discern what the thing was through touch.

"Stop being so puerile," he answered gruffly. Sunstreaker was far more transfixed than aggravated by the female in front of him, but he did so love to fluster her, to test her. "There is no need for me to, as you say, swear. After all, you are removing something, not installing," he added, his tone turning further deprecating.

"Yes, but..." She backed away, once again staring at the foreign object in her hand.

"By the AllSpark, human. Help me or don't, just make your decision and stick with it."

Her eyes went down to his hood. She made a strange face at him. "Fine. I will help you, but if I find out that..."

He interrupted her, enough time wasted. "You will need your tablet. I uploaded the schematics there. Follow then step by step, do not deviate."

She scrunched up her nose at his demanding tone, her eyes narrowing with malcontent. Then Alexis seemed pleased. Her eyes lit up.

"My tablet is broken."

"I repaired it."

"You repaired it?"

Sighing loudly, which didn't sound as elegant coming out of his vehicle mode, he directed her attention to a nearby table.

Alexis went and picked up her tablet, tenuously turned the device on. She rotated the electronic pad back and forth, the screen repaired and functioning.

"How did you recover everything on it? I thought it was lost."

"It was the device that was faulty, not the software. I downloaded your data and then..."

Alexis hastily cut through his words, "Did you read anything on it? Did you read my journal?" the female rephrased her question, a tensity now in her tone, her eyes turning back toward him filled with suspicion. Her entire body language coiled with preparation of an unavoidable fight.

She could be such an animated female, and when it was he that dug the emotions out of her that made her eyes burn, it was even more satisfying.

"I did."

She made a choking sound at his two words. Her gaze turned into a glare, and then dissipated into an displeased frown.

"Figures."

Alexis walked past him, and he was sure she was leaving until she returned and placed her tablet in an overhead clip and began to work on him.

He didn't expect that, his systems raced and his Energon warmed, his tone turning pathetic and inquiring, an affront that didn't chase away the resulting thrill from her remaining.

"I thought that..."

She cut him off, "I haven't written anything in it since Airaih's death. And while I wrote about some personal things, it wasn't anything I wasn't prepared for someone else to read. That is why I didn't have a passcode on it. Just in case, I," she sighed and bit her lip, "you know, died." Alexis finished with a shrug, as if what she was talking about was of no consequence.

"Died? You aren't going to die," Sunstreaker told her, the words coming out a strangled hiss as his chassis rattled with fury. Just the thought of further loss made his carefully contained feelings rupture through his revealing tone. He cringed inwardly, fought not to say anything else, unwilling to demean himself further.

Alexis was unaware of his blunder. And when she spoke, the sprinkle of malice that rained though her nearly detached words made his thoughts plummet toward far different things.

"Not yet. But if you ever read my journal again..." Alexis leaned closer, wire clippers in hand. She pressed the handles hard, harder than necessary. The clipped wires fell helplessly down on the shiny floor beneath. "I will hurt you."

"You hurt me?"

But when she bent down and disabled his vocal functions with one knowledgeable tug on his vocal module that was removed with an identifiable click, the laughter that should have followed, didn't.

"I'm done."

Alexis was efficient, focused, and while she made mistakes, she didn't stop until she corrected them. Now that his locator chip was removed, none of the Autobots would be able to find him, at least not without difficulties.

He wouldn't have someone finding him like Bee had, offering unwanted sympathy, even regrets from Optimus Prime who was too busy to come and voice them himself. According to the scout, the Autobots were aware of his recent retaliation on the Decepticons, a retaliation that was obviously frowned upon. Disgusted by such hypocrisy, Sunny's decision to severe all ties with the Autobots was decided upon. It was Sideswipe that had preferred such an affiliation, such a supposed entitlement.

Those days were over.

No one would find him that he didn't want to. No one would take Alexis away from him. Not the scout, not the Seeker who kept trying to contact Alexis, not even her own brother. Once Alexis realized just how far they had traveled and how much he had lied about returning her to her family, complications would ensue. But he would handle them, as he always did.

Confused by his lack of response, her mouth lifted with understanding. She reinstalled his voice box.

"Not bad," he told her, the nearness of his voice causing her to almost trip. Sunstreaker caught her, closed his hood and pressed her down on it. She stared up into his human eyes, puzzled by his appearance.

"You said that..."

"I know what I said. I lied." He pressed closer. The female tried to bend away, only managing to get a handful of his hood ornament that she clung to as if a lifeline.

"My holo-form is fully functional," he spoke the obvious.

Alexis' eyes narrowed. "You could have done this yourself," Alexis spoke with affront, her other hand trying to push him away, ineffectively. Her hand remained on his chest, firm and solid.

"I could," he drew his body up, his mouth above her left ear. "But touching myself is nowhere as satisfying as having you on me."

"Back away," she hissed.

Sunstreaker surprised her when he did. Alexis slid down his hood. Her feet now touching the floor, she found a false sense of safety.

"You removed my voice box," he spoke, his playfulness sharpening into vengeful bitterness.

"I..." She swallowed hard.

"You disabled a part of me."

Alexis eyelids lowered, her posture rising to her full yet ineffectual height.

"I did."

And then she smiled, but not the kind of smile he wanted from her, but a victorious mannerism that boasted of a win.

"And I could do it again." She stepped to him, lifted her chin and glared. "Just try me," Alexis actually dared.

Closing the space between them, he mimicked her smile. Gratified by the flesh that pinked on her cheeks, the thickening telltale cadence of her heart.

"Oh, I plan to."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you." Alexis started to back out of the observation deck, always so fraggin' polite, always in a hurry to get away. "I thought you were sleeping. I would have never..."

"I haven't recharged since my brother died," he told her, not meaning to. But she had the knack of making him acknowledge weaknesses that he tried so hard to hide. Had him going to the observation deck, a place she loved, a place he never paid attention to, but now went to just for a sighting of her.

"It's been weeks." She cringed and her skin turned white with sympathetic remorse. "That can't be good. I mean to say..." Alexis shook her head, tumbling over her own words. "Or is that normal?"

He turned, his focus encasing Alexis. Words boiled out of his mouthpiece, his anger reigniting.

"What is normal is my brother being alive and here with me. What is normal is having his presence, his very spark in unison with my own. I've never recharged without his presence, the very idea..." His voice died away, but the bitterness and sorrow sprang anew, catapulting a burst of vulnerable truth out of his betraying mouth. "I could recharge if you were with me. We aren't meant to be apart. Sideswipe didn't want either of us to be alone."

"You know?"

He nearly laughed with spite at that thoughtless comment. Instead he trembled and fought his own emotions, the resistance fading when he heard his brother's usually dormant voice resound with an order.

"I am my brother. My brother is me. I know what occurred when he died, what he said. I know that you stayed with him even though your own life was in danger. I'm not dying, Alexis. But if you truly want to help me, you will at least give me this. I didn't ask for you either. But I am bonded to you now, and you being near me..." He sighed and cringed but forced himself to continue, despite the nagging discomfort, the sense of loss. "I will admit it, eases the ache. Don't make me try to recharge on my own. Don't leave me alone. Don't make me beg."

"Okay," Alexis replied softly. "I will stay with you. As long as it's understood that it is only sleep."

He never expected her to agree, at least not so soon, or even that night. He wasn't good at admitting he needed others. But Alexis responded to sensitive truths. Sunny had seen her react to his brother when Sideswipe used such methods. She also was beckoned by his tragedy and loss, which had allowed her to create a sense of familiarity between the two that had her acting and doing things she never would have done before. Of course, she was with him now, had stayed with him for almost three weeks. Sunstreaker wondered what else he could get Alexis to do for him, how far he could push her too open sympathy.

He would find out.

"Should we go to your quarters?" She barged through his thoughts.

He nodded his head, almost smiling until he remembered that the adjoining room would be empty and never be filled again. The idea of returning to his room overwhelmed him.

"If you aren't ready, we can try another time."

He stiffened at that, and his cowardice died. Give the female time and she would think her way out of it. Sunny could almost hear her excuses already.

"No, tonight," he commanded.

"And you are sure you want me with you?" Alexis pointed at herself, as if he was making some sort of error.

"Do you think I just told you that to make sure my vocal box was functioning? I don't say what I don't mean, femme. Follow me."

He didn't touch her. He wouldn't touch her. If he did there would be no stopping, and with his systems overworked and his Energon already responding to the female, he would most assuredly hurt her.

Alexis looked around when she entered his quarters. He hadn't been in them since their arrival on board the Ideal, and even he cringed at their sudden overstated splendor. Throwing once valued stuff out of his way, he quickly rendered a ramp so that Alexis could walk up on a table that he had dragged close to his berth.

"You can remove that worried look off your face," he told Alexis, already reclined on his berth, his body on the side and peering at her. "I won't require that you join me in my berth, this time. But stay close."

He ordered the lights off and watched as she slowly reclined back and curled in one of his favorite polishing cloths. He wanted to watch her until she fell asleep, curious if she still had what he believed were nightmares. He had watched her on more than one occasion as she slept. It didn't look restful, yet she returned to her bed every night.

"Do you still feel your brother?" Alexis suddenly asked of him, and it was the anxiousness of her tone that had him not responding in the usual manner.

"Do you still feel my brother?" He turned the words on her, not willing to respond to something so personal. But the idea that she even asked such a very strange thing, had him considering the even stranger female.

There was a long pause. Sunny watched her tighten the blanket around her, bend her head around on the makeshift pillow, her soft hair spreading when she took it out of its confining elastic band.

He wasn't expecting an answer.

"Not as before. But I dream about him, and some nights," her voice cracked but she refused to cry. "I feel him die."

"You mean watch him die," Sunstreaker corrected, an unfamiliar uncertainty erupting and making his servos tense.

"No. I feel him die. Most of his memories have faded now, but I still get strange impressions, sometimes I even hear him whispering in my head."

Her words made his spark pulse momentarily skip a beat. He didn't know it was like that for her. He did still feel Sides, still heard him sometimes as well, as if an echo of programming that just couldn't be erased in its entirety.

"And what does he say to you?" he questioned, trying not to reveal how desperate he was for her response.

Alexis took far too long to respond. But when she did, her voice was muted and strained. "To try not to hate you. That you aren't as terrible as you try to make yourself out to be."

He scoffed at that. "That is ridiculous. I am as terrible as I let on."

Alexis began to laugh, it was subdued and she tried and failed to cover it up. But he heard her words that followed clearly enough.

"I know. I don't know how Sideswipe put up with you." She covered her mouth with her hand, regretting her words as soon as she said them.

Oddly enough, he felt no triggered malice from her words, just fond memories of his brother, adventures and mishaps, remembrances of surviving during times when their chances had been so small.

"One cycle at a time," he finally whispered back to her, a levity turning his words into a light airy feeling that made something deep inside his mainframe unwind.

No, Alexis wasn't a pet. She wasn't even his property. But he knew as his optics dimmed and his processor stilled that she was something much more malignant. She would destroy all that he was, all that remained of him.

And he would let her.