Here come the wedding chapters! I want you guys to know about how much fun I'm having with this story, which has spiraled out of my control: a lot. A lot of fun. Thanks for the support so far! I'm gonna keep writing until I run out of life events to discuss, or until my laptop dies. Whichever comes first.
The theory behind the wedding was "small and simple," so of course it quickly became neither of those things. Jess is asked (ordered) to produce Willa no later than eleven AM on Saturday, with two changes of clothes, preferably awake and in a good mood. He's also not allowed to feed her lunch.
"The wedding is Sunday night," Jess says.
"Right," says Lorelai.
"So," he says.
"Sooo...? What?" Lorelai says blankly. Luke smirks at him, from the other side of the dinner table.
Jess sighs. "Nothing."
Willa, to her credit, seems remarkably genial about the entire thing, which is probably a side effect of her intense devotion to Lorelai. Jess is disgruntled, but not surprised; Lorelai is one of those people who is constantly surrounded by a tornado of chaos, and Willa slides right in effortlessly, like she was born for it.
"Are you jealous?" Rory teases. "Afraid she'll like my mom better than you?"
"I don't have any unrealistic expectations as far as her opinions go, okay," Jess says wearily. "She likes prog rock."
Rory chokes on her coffee, snorting inelegantly.
"It's Chris' fault."
"You need to introduce her to Zack and Lane," Rory tells him.
Jess grimaces. "Right, just what I need. Just surround her with people that she'll grow up thinking are cooler than me."
"Of course she's gonna think they're cooler than you, they're not her dad."
"I'm gonna be a cool dad," Jess protests.
Rory snorts.
"I am!"
"Jess, you nearly had a heart attack when your mom wanted to take her horseback riding."
"Who takes a toddler horseback riding?" Jess asks the universe. "Who even does that?"
Rory raises an eyebrow. "Cool dads," she says.
"Shit," says Jess.
Cool dad or not, Jess submits to the weekend the way one submits to the inevitability of death. On Saturday, he sees Willa only in brief glimpses around town whenever Sookie, Rory, and Lorelai come up for a breath of fresh air or a cup of coffee or a couple hundred pounds of Chinese takeout from Al's. Jess spends most of it manning the diner, since Luke and Lane are too busy, and Cesar has fucked off to Miami. It's...surreal, to say the least.
"Well look at you, honey!" Babette says. She looks exactly the same. Literally the only thing that's different is her hair, which has been bleached to a level Jess previously thought impossible, for real, human hair. "Someone grew up! Oh, it's good to see you, Jess! You in town for the wedding? Helping Luke out, huh? That's real nice of ya!"
"Yes," Jess says, staring at her hair. It's bright white. Literally no pigment whatsoever. "Good to, uh. See you too. I guess."
"I heard you had a daughter!" Babette exclaims. "Lorelai showed me pictures. Oh, she is so cute, I just wanted to eat her up!"
"Please don't," Jess says.
Babette cackles. "You haven't changed a bit, have you? Well, I'm happy for you. Congrats, sugar." She leans in, motioning for Jess to bend down slightly to conspire with her. "I always liked you, you know. I knew you'd get outta here and do something fun with your life."
"Uh," says Jess, "thanks?"
"I heard you wrote a book, too," Babette says. "Taylor banned it, you know."
Jess chokes slightly. "Taylor...banned my book?"
"Oh yeah, wrote it into the town law and everything. The bookstore isn't allowed to carry it. He said it was filth." Babette winks. "He was right. Good job on that sex scene."
"Ookay," Jess says, and takes a giant step back. "Appreciate that. I'll bring you some coffee."
"Oh thanks honey - I drink decaf now. Better for the ticker."
"Right," Jess says, and escapes. God, small towns.
Saturday night is spent drinking beer with Luke in the now-empty apartment above the diner, where both of them have been asked (ordered) to sleep. Lorelai had, apparently, passed on a bachelorette party, and instead is enjoying a Lifetime Original Movie marathon with Rory, Sookie, and April, and as such, they've both been ousted from the house.
("How many bachelorette parties have I had now?" Lorelai asks.
"At least two," Rory says, thinking hard. "But I - actually I can't remember. Did you have one for, you know, the first time with Luke?"
"Yes! We went to the drag club, remember?"
"No, that one was for Max."
"Oh." Lorelai squints down into her coffee cup. "I forgot. Oh my God, that's so sad. Isn't that sad? I am the saddest, weirdest bride who ever lived."
"Yikes," Jess agrees.)
"Does she always snore like that?" Luke asks.
Willa, who never turns down an opportunity to take advantage of comedic timing, snorts loudly in her sleep. Luke winces.
"That can't be healthy."
"Her pediatrician says it's because of her tonsils."
"Her tonsils?" Luke asks, incredulous. "What's wrong with her tonsils?"
"They're enlarged," Jess says. Luke looks mildly horrified. "It's pretty common. Apparently."
"Well, can you, you know, cut 'em out?"
"What, like with a Swiss army knife?"
Luke rolls his eyes. "Don't be a smart ass."
"It's not a big deal, Luke," Jess says, shaking his head in amusement. "Lots of kids have it. It doesn't affect her breathing at all, so it's not dangerous. It's just, you know. A thing. She'll grow out of it."
"So her tonsils are just - abnormally large, and that's it? You don't do anything?"
"They're not abnormally large, they're just mildly large."
"Oh, well if it's just mild," Luke drawls, shaking his head at his beer.
"You gotta learn how to relax, Uncle Luke."
"Oh, that's rich, coming from you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Your mom told me about the horseback riding thing," Luke says.
Jess groans. "You know what's crazy is putting a two-year-old on a wild animal ten times her size. That's crazy. Not me - I was not the crazy one in that argument."
"I think it was a pony ride, Jess. And I'm pretty sure they're not wild."
"Ten times her size," Jess says, and takes a definitive drink of beer. Luke rolls his eyes, but thankfully, takes the hint. "So. You nervous?"
"Nope," says Luke.
"She probably won't leave you at the altar or anything," Jess says.
"Oh, shut up," Luke says, but his scowl isn't all that convincing.
Jess smirks at him. "You know what they say - third time's the charm."
"This is only the second time."
"Oh," Jess says heavily. "Well, uh. Shit. Never mind." He frowns exaggeratedly. "No - I'm sure it's fine. Just a superstition."
"You're hilarious," Luke says dryly. "Really."
"Maybe you guys should've gotten one of those prenups," Jess says. "Just to be on the safe side."
"Jess."
"Hey, I like Lorelai! I do, really. I'm just saying, you have to be practical about it, that's all."
"You're such a dumbass," Luke says fondly.
Jess shrugs, and finishes his beer. "Well, that's my thing."
Luke shakes his head, scoffing, and reaches out to clap Jess on the shoulder. Jess leans into it for precisely three seconds, and then pulls away to get another beer.
"This shit will kill you, Luke," he says, grimacing at the selection in the fridge. "Bud Light? With lime?"
"You're an adult now," Luke says mercilessly. "Of legal age. And there are at least three places in this town where you can buy your own damn alcohol."
"I was working all day," Jess says. "At your diner."
"Yeah," Luke says, and laughs. "I saw you wearing the apron again. Took me back to the good old days."
Jess rolls his eyes. "Yeah, full of fond memories."
Luke laughs again, shaking his head. He's got a certain look on his face, the look he'd get whenever Jess did something he approved of. Jess both loathes and craves that look. "You were the talk of the town this weekend. It shut everybody up about the stupid betting pool for at least three hours. Like a damn miracle."
"Great," Jess drawls. "Glad to be of service."
"You sure you don't have a date coming for tomorrow? Because I think Babette would be willing to fill in. She had plenty to say about ya."
Jess grimaces. "I hate this place."
"I know," Luke says, chortling. He reaches out and claps Jess' shoulder again, and because it's his wedding, because it's his third beer, Jess lets it stay for five seconds, this time. "It's alright."
"Yeah, well." Jess kicks his leg. "You didn't tell me Taylor banned my book."
"I wanted it to be a fun surprise," Luke says. "Were you surprised?"
"That's one word for it."
"Good," Luke says with a grin, and drinks his beer.