More and more, Sunstreaker was finding Alexis to be an inconveniently atypical female. She didn't respond to things as would have been natural. Didn't gush when he got her new beautiful things, including clothes and an exotic hair brush, didn't seem pleased when he gave her a necklace that was covered in rare jewels on a delicate gold chain, a piece that had cost him more Creds than his very first body upgrade.
The more he tried to please her with things, the more difficult things got, the more strained. He was usually the one that got the gifts, the trinkets, the tokens, which made her reaction all the more irksome.
But after analyzing the situation he found that it wasn't that she lacked appreciation, but something else that made her displeased with his expensive favors. Alexis never wore the necklace. Only wore the clothes he provided out of necessity. And when she brushed her hair, it wasn't with his gifted brush, but an old fold out plastic brush that was scraped and had half its blue paint scratched off.
Disgruntled at her lack of enthusiasm, he tried to figure the female out. Sideswipe had difficulties understanding the female, of syncing with her wants and needs, of knowing what truly motivated Alexis.
Sunny was galled that he wasn't doing much better. If she had been a femme, when he bonded to her, he would have known all, would have had a connection with her mind, would have felt her beyond her tantalizing energy signature that made him possessive and his Energon hot.
But she wasn't bonded to him, and was having unnecessary difficulties in giving in to what he knew was the inevitable. If Alexis at least let him spark her again or interface with her body, things wouldn't have been so fraggin' troublesome.
Reading her journal had given him some insight, but nothing extremely useful. In parts, she did talk about what she liked and what her favorite activities were. Sunstreaker disregarded most, only entertaining those that interested him. He also had all the information his brother had collected while interacting with the female: his thoughts, his feelings, his inclinations, what Sides wanted to do for her and provide.
But Sunny didn't see a purpose of aligning himself to Alexis more than he already had. Unaware that his lack of compatibility was his own creation from a long nurtured stubbornness and pride that refused to give any more than needed.
"I have something for you, Alexis."
The female put her staff weapon down, her small form heaving from excursion. He had interrupted her practice session, which she didn't like at all. He liked watching her sweat and her body glisten though, and her focus was a tantalizing vision that became heightened when she went though her training exercises.
There was only one reason Sunny continued to give her things. Because when he did get her something she liked, her reaction was enthusiastic and so genuine that an unfamiliar pleasing sensation would spread through his mainframe, an oddity since it wasn't he that was getting anything, but her.
But that didn't happen often enough, and when she did like something he got her, it was usually something unexpected, usually an item that had been an afterthought. Asking her what she wanted never crossed his processor.
Sunstreaker held a small compartment in front of him, balanced on his extended digit.
Her lips pressed together and down. Alexis pushed damp hair behind her ears, her skin glistening, her loose clothes sticking. She put the rod back on her hip but didn't move closer. Grabbing a bottle, the female took a greedy sip of water before addressing him. "You don't need to keep getting me this stuff, Sunstreaker." Alexis sighed. "I am fine with what I have. If you really want to help me, you could get the new food items I requested, or I could really use a new pair of shoes."
He disregarded what she said, this time not out of habit but because a familiar tightness was spreading in his chassis that he resented. "That again? Your nutritional requirements are met, and your wardrobe has been provided."
She shook her head, took a deep breath and tried to speak with reason. "Not a practical one. And the food, Sunstreaker, it doesn't..."
He pushed his digit out further, wanting to get on with it. "Are you going to take this, or should I throw it away?"
"I..." she began, and he knew that Alexis was about to refuse, until a small squeak came out of the storage container. Her curiosity wakening, the female took the container and put it on the floor, got on her knees and slowly took off the lid.
A small furry head peaked out, as curious as the human female looking at it. Alexis' expression softened, her mouth curved up and when she picked up the tiny bundle of fur and paws, she lifted it up to her face, rubbing it with affection.
She was pleased. But as the kitten erupted into a loud purr of acknowledgment and return affection, Sunstreaker most certainly wasn't.
He had enough issues of the lack of physical contact with Alexis, having it reasserted by a ball of fur that already had the female's full attention and touch was maddening.
But when she got to her feet and grabbed to his digit in the form of a hug with full body and tight arms, the interloping kitten rubbing along the bottom of his peds, he decided he wouldn't dispose of the creature after all.
"You don't look pleased to see me."
The femme had been one of the favorites of Sideswipe's, and while he had had her as well, she was far too inquisitive for Sunstreaker's taste.
"I heard about what happened to Sides. I was devastated." The female also had the habit of overstating things.
But she was worthy of looking at. That fact could never be denied. Now painted a luminescent plum, faint streaks of orange along her slim servos and minutely curved chassis, her matching optics bright and unfaltering, her weapon systems now streamlined into her frame, she looked better than ever, upgraded and improved.
The Decepticon emblem on the right side of her neckpiece was also a new addition. She noticed his focus on the insignia.
"I see you lost your neutrality."
She cringed at his tone, momentarily frozen when she noticed the curling of his hand, a good indication of weapon readiness.
"I'm not here to fight you," she told him, her tone a warning, or maybe even a request.
Rim had never been a small femme. She was taller than the twins, her shoulder panels broad, her frame compact yet slim. Having sparred with the femme, he knew her to be capable but lacking a much required vicious streak. But she could be cunning, self-serving, had the ability to get out of tight spots, deploying extreme methods that had allowed her to survive where so many others had not.
Rescuing her from a planet that had been overrun by a unit of rogue Decepticons, she had been exploited and used, a favorite of the residing commander, a mech that she had wasted no time ending when the opportunity presented itself.
"Then why are you here? Do you want me to end you?"
He shouldn't have agreed to meet the femme, or let Rim onboard the ship and inside his landing bay, however heavily weaponized. But he knew she was alone, which was curious. And the interest Alexis had shown toward the femme when he told her of some of Rim's past was an enticement that made him consider diabolical things.
"If you mean overload, then slag yes." The femme smugly replied, moving closer, her hands rubbing a firm line down his chassis. "You must miss intimacy, must miss a lot of things with Sideswipe being gone. Maybe I can help with some."
He pressed a digit on her upper chassis and pushed her back, scowling heavily from the femme's presumptions.
"I have someone."
Rim chuckled at that, a melodious sound that was used effectively. She raked her optics over his form, her digits rubbing suggestively along her servos. "Someone that isn't servicing you properly if your energy outputs are enough to go by. She must be one stingy femme if you..."
"I am bonded to her."
Rim backed off with that. Her hands returned stiffly to her sides. It took her a moment to process that and to respond. "You? Bonded? Your brother is killed and you take a mate? You're even colder than I thought."
He huffed at that, stalked toward her and looked at her with derision. "That fact has never been disputed. And what I do, and who with has never been and never will be your concern." He activated the landing bay's weapons. Blaster turrets slid out and forward, aiming at the femme below. He was tired of subtleties, tired of her. "Now, I suggest you state your true purpose of being here, or leave before I consider most unpleasant things."
The female shrugged her shoulder panels, her optics openly scanning the area they were in. She stiffened but did not move. "Believe it or not, Sunny, I have no ulterior motive of being here." She held his optics with her own, trying too hard to engage him. "I was genuinely fond of Sides, even you during some rare moments. But if you don't want me here..."
"What would your Decepticon lord think of you being here with me?" He asked her, his attention resting on the mark that resided on her neckpiece. If he fought her, he would be sure to keep that pretty little panel as a reminder of how low Megatron's standards were.
She scowled and then broke into a large smile. "He would wonder why I haven't finished you."
He roared with laughter at that, genuinely amused. "And despite the fact that you are incapable?"
Her smile dulled into something more provocative. "It would be a waste, considering the fun things you do when properly motivated." She came back toward him, almost touching him, only for her digits to jerk back when she assimilated the volatile state of his mood. But she boldly stood her ground. Rim tried again, this time using the affecting tone that had gained her access to his twin's berth. "We don't even have to go to your berth if you aren't so inclined." She pressed her mouthpiece together, a digit gliding along the bottom. "Even you must remember. I am highly adaptable."
"I don't need you," he dismissed her completely. "Leave."
She actually pouted, her optics steadied on him and sharpened as she spoke easily, soothingly, a farce that did not hide her calculated words. "Now that would really be a waste. But if you don't want the information I was planning to give to you, considering your recent pursuits, then I will go." She gave him a pointed glare. "Slag, was Sideswipe the only one with a modicum of manners?" Rim teased him.
"As I remember, niceties never did it for you."
Her optics sparked at that. She frowned, no longer hiding her displeasure. "So you do remember me a little, how nice."
"What information?" he demanded.
She relaxed at his show of interest, idly tapped two digits against her chin. "The kind that you would enjoy."
"Why?"
Her agitation returned at his lack of enthusiasm. She vented loudly through her intakes. "Because while I may work for the Decepticons, I am not, shall we say, loyal." She calmed. Her mouth lifted at the corner as if she delighted in her guilelessness. "And I always did enjoy watching you have fun, Sunny." She said his name as if witnessing him in action already.
"Give me the info and leave."
"I'll give you the info and stay. I forgot how much I liked you. You are truly insufferable."
While Sunstreaker didn't allow the femme to stay on board, he did permit her shuttle to travel alongside his ship. Rim was annoying, intolerable, an inconvenience, but highly flattering to his ego in her attempts to resurrect their past entanglement.
Scanning her and her small space craft, he made sure there would be no surprises, his own ship's security measures doubled.
Rim and Alexis did not get along. Rim was jealous he realized, and Alexis, while interested in Rim at first, now avoided her.
Or so he thought.
But when he came upon them two days later, chatting it up like only females could, he interrupted and separated the human from Rim, an unexpected rivalry making his optics dim in warning.
First the kitten, now Rim, the human female looked for any excuse to spend time with anyone but him, and he was tiring of it. His mouth hadn't met hers since he put in the coordinates to her brother, and she hadn't given into her obvious lust for him since the incident in the bathroom over a week ago.
How is processor played back that one. Always seeing Alexis soaked and wanting, glimpses of more of her flesh than ever before, the sensation of her nails scraping against his soft human flesh, the pressure of her tongue sliding and pushing against his own. How she tasted, how she needed him.
Only to despise her again at her lack of willingness, no, of her lack of giving in.
Another reason he allowed Rim to stay. To create tension, to see how Alexis reacted. To want her to react. He would not be able to take much more of the human disregarding his needs. Alexis' restraint only made him more desperate, more inclined toward habits of old.
Which is probably how Rim ended up in his berth. What followed hadn't been that good for him, and even if he knew why, he didn't stop until the femme was offlined, giving him an opportunity to get up and away.
Sunny felt strange after, but he didn't know why, odd thoughts plaguing his processor. It wasn't until Alexis answered the pinging of her door that he felt as if he had wronged the human, when in truth, it was she that constantly wronged him by not giving him the intimacy that was required, that he so urgently craved.
The human had been sleeping, but that didn't stop him from barreling into her room, from his voice rising with agitation and loathing.
"Do you enjoy the further agony you create in me? Do you delight in watching me suffer? Giving me what I want will do you no harm. I am meant to be a part of you, inside you, with you. I have already lost all that I am. Must I be tortured by you as well? Do you really hate me so? I am your mate. Whatever misguided morality is keeping you from me is obsolete. You are more my consort than anyone of before!" he raged.
Alexis stared at him, stunned by all his words, by the anger he had just put on display. It was dark in her quarters and it wasn't until her eyes wandered down his form that he realized that without even thinking about it he had activated his holo-form. The female shivered and she backed away from him, then thought better of that and headed toward her door.
He blocked her. She weighed her options and then decided on speaking.
"I know how much you want me, because," she swallowed hard but kept her eyes locked to his own. "I want you too," she whispered with obvious regret. Alexis backed away from him, shook her head hard. "But it's not right. Not natural for such attraction. I haven't wanted anyone like this since my husband." Her voice faltered. "I know Sideswipe meant well, but desiring you like this," she placed her hand on her chest, "it can't be... me," Alexis told him, her tone agonized but firm.
Her words stung, piercing something deep inside his chest, making his heart rattle and his lungs compress. In his mind Sunny saw himself telling her exactly what he did with Rim. Anything to make that staggering ache go away, to rattle her, to destroy the strength of her resolve.
He didn't desire Rim. And while he was incapable of sparking the femme due to his bond to Alexis, that didn't stop him from doing what a typical bonded Cybertronian would have never done. He took the femme anyway, needing to spite the human that was a predominate fixture in his thoughts. He had to be creative, much good it did him, but it did leave him quite satisfied for exactly five nanoclicks. Which even Sunny would admit hadn't been worth the effort.
Alexis had gotten away with too much though. It wasn't just physical intimacy he sought, but any intimacy at all. He felt like an agoroan wir beast, obsessed with finding whatever scraps he could to survive, just to find minimal relief. Scraps were no longer enough, not when it only made him hungry for more. He was tired of playing scavenger. Tired of the hunger. And he was famished.
His spine lengthened, his muscles tightened in anticipation, his gut curled, changing the incomprehensible ache to more comfortable lust. Alexis only wore a long silky shirt that left most of her legs exposed, the top button undone that made the fabric bunch around her breasts. Her hair was loose and flowing beyond her shoulders, her eyes dark and unfathomable. And her feet...
He spoke lowly, his reasoning making his request a command. "I want you now. Remove your clothes and get on your bed and I will ru..."
The push of hands against his chest halted his words, also heightened the stirring of his blood.
"You are crazy!" Alexis stirred with thick agitation, her sharp eyes making sure he stayed where he was. "Rim is far more suited for you than I could ever be. You don't need me. And I don't need..."
Sunstreaker stole her words away when he dropped down on the floor in front of her, grabbed her naked ankle and pressed his mouth on her flesh. He had thought about doing such a thing for a long time. Sunny's nose pressed against her skin as his breath shattered hotly against her chilled flesh, his tongue slowly tasting the scent of her.
The human was truly maddening. They were connected. She had already forced him to find what pleasure he could with another, and now she wanted him to leave, maybe even for good. Sunstreaker would show her what bonding meant. Make her understand. He had been as tolerant as he could be due to their circumstances. Gave her plenty of opportunities to adapt. More than he had ever afforded any other female.
When he looked up at her, Alexis' eyes were tightly shut, her hands digging into her thighs. His teeth nipped at her skin. She bit on her mouth and visually trembled.
But she didn't push him away.
And that was how he ended up in Alexis' bed not ten minutes after he had left Rim in his own berth.
The same passion that she had displayed in the bathroom came back with a vengeance, her own denials catapulting a desire that engulfed them both.
He ravaged and suckled on the skin on both of her ankles, making the female squirm as his mouth moved up her leg, on her knees then toward the tantalizing marred flesh that Sunny knew resided on her thigh. The female didn't allow it. Alexis' fingers dug into his scalp and twisted in his hair, forcing him up and away from the path he had been on.
Sunstreaker settled above her. They both stilled. Alexis looked up at him, emotions crashing through her eyes, an internal battle making them vibrant. Her fingers curled hard around his arm. He bent his lips to her own, soft and calculating, not giving her more than a fragment of pressure. He would prove to her once again just how much she wanted him.
But instead of the reaction he wanted, the frenzy died down to a simmering tenderness that grew and surpassed the desire of before with the slowness of her mouth that explored his own. Alexis' hand dipped along his lower back, her calf lifted, the combined actions making him move as if his body was a wave of fire. Overwhelming sensation crackled through his human skin as bodies aligned, a strangled gasp escaping from his mouth that was dampened against the female's neck.
Alexis froze and her eyes widened. Reason was washing through the fog of her want, and he could almost taste the exasperation she held for him and herself.
"I..."
"Remove this." He tapped near the Vildan's ownership band, disgusted by its implications. He knew that speaking to her during such a time was wrong, knew how much it had crashed things last time, but he made the demand nonetheless.
"I, what? No!"
He knew what her next words were going to be. Before she could voice them, he pressed his body back against hers, copying the motions of before that he was beginning to understand and maddeningly crave with each beat that went straight from his quickened heart and flashed downward as if lightning.
Alexis gasped loudly and her hands pressed against his chest, her fingers digging in his shirt, making him want to remove it so that he wasted no contact between them.
But first.
"Take. It. Off," he demanded again, using his own body to drum each word against her. The contact was delicious, was staggering. Was like being shot several times with a blaster rifle at close range. The potency of the maneuver made him so highly aware of his male human body, the strum of his spark vibrating in tune with his fleshy induced arousal.
He wanted more.
Alexis' eyes flashed open, and unexpectedly, using a strength he should have known she was capable of, she rolled them over until she was on top with him trapped between her knees, affording him no leverage, or contact where he needed it most.
"We can do this," she said through the drape of her hair. Sunstreaker pushed it aside and revealed her flushed cheeks and neck. His fingers curled around her soft tendrils in heightened ecstasy. He had to focus to hear her words. "I may even enjoy it. But I will resent you, but mostly myself. Does this even matter to you? Because I am quite sure that I don't. If I did, you would stop pursuing me after I just lost my husband. When I am confused and everything is off and unbalanced and just plain screwed up."
"You won't leave me," he rasped, disgusted by the taint of fear that made his words warble.
"I was wrong to stay with you. Stupid to think this would work, especially with what Sideswipe did. Am I even myself anymore? Or is everything I do now just because of this..." She pressed her fingers under his chin, tangible energy igniting between their skin.
It was intense, unexpected, swallowed him whole. He combined with Alexis, heard whispers of her thoughts, her subconscious uncovering what was mostly on her mind: thoughts of the future. Something that occupied the female greatly.
She had once seen a future with Timothy. Still saw one with the dead Vildan, which didn't make any sense whatsoever. She had even thought of a future with his brother, but it was not the one his brother longed for.
Alexis saw no future with him.
She loathed him in that she allowed him to coerce her, loathed herself because she allowed it through guilt and the need to be close to someone. And astoundingly, after it all, she cared for his well being. Even, when she allowed herself to, cared for him.
Overwhelmed, hurt and confused, the moment broke away. Alexis was glaring at him, her eyes filling with liquid. When she pounded her small clenched fists against his chest, it most certainly wasn't pleasure he felt, but a jarring pain that had nothing to do with the physical, especially when she spoke.
"You just had sex with Rim! And now, now you..." she choked on her words, disgusted and full of anger, astounded as he by what had just occurred by her touch. She got off him, scooted back and then pushed him off the bed with her feet.
He was stunned. Not by the guilt that Alexis was making him familiar with, but the idea of her seeing inside of him. They were compatible. More than he had believed capable. His mistake had been sparking the female for pleasure only when he should have been opening her mind to him, exposing more than just reflections of emotions, finding the connection that could be beyond the physical.
For once, Sunstreaker felt reviled at his own egotism, his short mindedness that had prevented him from seeing the full potential of what had been apparent all along. His brother was right to hold the female with such affection, had been so much quicker to see what he was once blind to.
Sunny now knew that the ache he always felt around Alexis had nothing to do with lack of contact or the desire for it, but because he didn't just like her, but genuinely felt something for her.
He tried to speak, finding it difficult. Only one word managed to make it out. One that shook him and thickened his blood and made his tight skin hurt at the coarse utterance.
"Alexis."
Alexis' eyes targeted his own. The rage he saw there. The power of emotion. He shook at the sight of her, at the want she inspired that made him raw as his body vibrated toward something unidentifiable and yet so familiar. He was sensitive to her, which was both infuriating and glorious. His spark violently surged, tendrils of his energy washing down his prone Cybertronian form.
Just one touch, one taste, and then it would be him proving how much he wanted her and in the most embarrassing manner. But when she started to throw her pillows at him and then a light fixture, he was forced to disengage the holo-form.
He couldn't get Alexis out of his thoughts. Usually he could distract himself with something, but now it was impossible. He kept playing back what had happened between them, another oddity coming into his consciousness that he had ignored until that moment.
Alexis had been really cold. And while her flesh had warmed during their exchange, the unnatural state of her skin that seemed to becoming the norm over the last week was curious. His systems though, while advanced, had mediocre bio scanners.
He slowly made his way to his quarters. Forced to stop twice when his limbs turned weak and his focus wavered. Sunny was still stunned and aroused and baffled by the rare clarity that had been given to him.
Sunstreaker couldn't shake the heaviness though. Nor the way Alexis had looked at him as if she were betrayed. His tank plummeted. But what he had felt from her was not as devastating as it should have been. Alexis had been hurt by his actions, a reaction that encouraged more than dismayed.
He would tell Alexis that he thought of her before, during and after he was with Rim. That it meant nothing to him. That he had decided to keep her long-term. He would even throw in some feelings if he had to, some promises as his brother had done, but ones that would make her consider.
She was concerned about her future. He would make sure she didn't have to be. Give her whatever she wanted if she would erase what he had done with Rim and let them move back toward where they had been heading.
Feeling the plaguing sense of contriteness, Sunny wavered and tried to fight against the unreasonable sufferance, ignoring his brother's voice in the back of his processor that tried to escalate the sticky regret.
Returning to his quarters, grateful to find them empty, he pressed a small obscured button. His right wall folded around, revealing video relays and his computer terminal.
Sunstreaker started a scan directed at the female's compartment. Ten minutes later, two minutes after he had been given the results, his monitors were cracked and broken, his terminal shattered, his quarters unrecognizable.
What he did next, Sunny didn't know then, he would regret for a long time after.