Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite
Warnings: OOC, Violence, Angst, Spoilers for episodes 361-366 of the Lost Shinigami Arc of the anime
A/N: Thanks so much for reviewing, favoriting, and following. I really appreciate corrections, feedback and criticism, and it's helped shape my writing a lot. I've finally finished my other fic so I am focusing on this one. This chapter takes place during Episode 361.
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VI.
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Ichigo can only stare in shock at the sword in his chest. It has pierced his lung; he can feel the air seeping out slowly from the hole it made. But there is something very wrong with this sword.
He has had worse injuries before; in fact, he has died many times, but the finality of the cold steel and the hot flow of blood down his human chest makes this injury a lot more difficult to ignore. Adding insult to this is the knowledge that the sword belongs the man Ichigo thought was his friend, Ginjo Kugo.
Ichigo is on his knees now, bearing the weight of the sword as Kugo laughs, triumph gleaming in his dark eyes. He wonders how he had never noticed the malice in them, but the older man's face is twisted in a smile that can only be described as evil.
Ishida is cut down by Tsukushima. He gasps out that Kugo was the one who had put him in the hospital. He calls out an explanation; that Kugo had Tsukushima cut him so that he could recruit Ichigo convincingly against a perceived threat; that Kugo was the mastermind.
'Too late to tell me this, you idiot,' Ichigo tries to say, his lips moving but not producing any sound.
Ichigo struggles to lift his hands, to push the sword out of his chest, but his arms fall limply to his sides. He is in his own vulnerable human body, after all, not his shinigami form. Behind him, he hears the man in the white shirt approach, but cannot even turn his head to look. Tsukushima is the windmill that Ichigo tilted at, not knowing that the true monster was at his side all along.
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Shukuro Tsukushima studies the broken boy and, almost as an act of mercy, explains to him what his Fullbring, the Book of the End, does. He hopes it would bring the boy comfort to know that the betrayal of his friends was not their fault; that they had merely been pawns, completely helpless in the game of his and Ginjo's making.
Ichigo cannot do anything except listen, but even then, he is already drifting in and out of consciousness. His mind goes back to earlier that day, when he came home to see his sisters fawning over the stranger, their eyes completely normal as they told him he was a relative.
He remembers the sense of betrayal rising in his stomach, as everyone defended the bastard from him. Even their classmates, Keigo and Mizuno and Tatsuki, who were in his house as if it were normal for them to be there.
Even Orihime, with her guileless grey eyes. He had never seen a fiercer expression in them, not since that Arrancar had died, crumbling into ash as she had reached for him.
Even Chad, who had told him it hurt him to see Ichigo so powerless, raising his armor to fight him on behalf of the man smirking at him.
'Rukia would never have caved to the Fullbring,' the thought comes into his head, unbidden. 'Rukia would have killed the man first.' He thinks of the purple-eyed girl and another pain blooms in his chest.
'The cliches are true,' Ichigo thinks. 'Your life does flash before your eyes.' He looks at the conversation that Ginjo, Tsukushima and Ishida are having without him, the roaring in his ears drowning them out. 'Oh, don't mind me,' he thinks almost hysterically. 'I'll just sit here and bleed to death.'
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Ishida mentions his name. "Ichigo - reasons - reiatsu-"
"I don't care what his reasons are. We set him up to make sure he came to us for help releasing his Fullbring. All of this, all of the moving parts, the conversations, the attacks, all of the planning led to this moment," Kugo's voice is a low rumble, but because he is next to Ichigo, the redhead hears every word. Then he pushes the sword in deeper. The world fades into greyscale, and now Ichigo can only hear his own strangled gurgles. To his horror, he feels his new fullbring melt and get sucked into the sword currently occupying his chest.
After interminable seconds, Ginjo draws the sword out of him, taking everything. Ichigo collapses, dropping his Shinigami badge on the ground. It starts to rain.
Somehow, all the anxiety and pain and frustration of the past nineteen months have come to a boil now, to this moment. He feels the last of his hope drain, just like his powers, and now there is nothing left, not even his pride. He bends over forwards, his forearms bracing for impact as he fights to breathe. This is it then.
All of it, gone forever. Just when he barely had his Fullbring up and running.
He pounds a fist against the ground in helplessness, the rain slowly drenching him. This is worse than dying, this last death of his hope. He is never going to be able to protect anyone again. He is never going to see Rukia again.
Ichigo remembers the feeling of impotence that overtook him in the 17 months before he met Kugo. He was able to find some semblance of peace, but even that is gone now. Once again he is reduced to being a powerless teenage boy. The grief surges through him, drowning him. He is not even aware that he is howling in his sorrow; his bone-chilling lamentations are heartbreaking in their honesty.
Tsukushima looks at him, feeling guilt for breaking the infamous Ichigo Kurosaki and reducing him to this. He wonders, for a split second, if he is doing the right thing.
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Ishida remembers Ichigo's battle with the Arrancar Ulquiorra.
The Hollow Ichigo had already beaten Ulquiorra, who lay dying. Then he had raised his Zangetsu, aiming the sharp tip to cut into the Arrancar's throat, and mutilate his body in front of the shell-shocked Orihime. Ishida saw the look on her face, and intervened, preventing Ichigo from doing this last act of desecration.
"You will never be a human again if you do this," Ishida had told the Hollow Ichigo, trying to get through to the man beneath. This was the same thing, Ishida thinks, trying to cover his ears to block out the unearthly sound of Ichigo's grief. The rains only amplify the misery in Ichigo's sobs. Kugo starts to walk away, his power source now used up and discarded. With this last act, Kugo might as well slit the boy's throat. It would be a mercy.
And just when Ishida thinks to try to crawl over to Ichigo, he hears it. "Please."
No. This is not possible. Ichigo Kurosaki is begging. Ishida averts his eyes, unwilling to witness this final humiliation of his friend and adversary.
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"Please. Give my powers back," Ichigo grinds out. He is, at the end of the day, just an ordinary boy, albeit with an extraordinary fate. "Please. I need to see her again." It is a testament to how tired he is, that he lets this slip.
The older man pauses and turns to the downed boy with a sneer. "What are you babbling about? You got your powers back in the first place because of me. You should be thankful I'm leaving you with your life."
Ichigo rises slowly to his feet, sheer determination the only thing keeping him upright. "I said, give me back my powers."
Kugo is genuinely confused by Ichigo's persistence. "Seriously? What are you going to do?"
"Give it back!" Ichigo has found a last source of strength in his fury. "Ginjo!" After all, he has nothing left to lose.
Then he smells it first; cucumbers and strawberries in the wind. The scent is so familiar to him it almost brings him back to his knees.
The glowing blade of a sword slices into him from behind. The cold rain on the hot blade causes steam to rise from it.
Ichigo manages to turn his head, to see his father and Urahara standing there, watching. The thought crosses his mind that getting stabbed in the chest is getting old. "Dad- Urahara- Not you too…"
His dad glares at him. "Idiot. Take a good look at who's holding that sword. We're way over here." Ichigo sighs inwardly, as deeply as he can, impaled on a sword. Even as he is dying, his dad insults him. What would it take for his dad to ever take him seriously?
Then he sees a lock of hair, melting into a shadow, taking the form of a figure that has his blood roaring in his ears. The dull ache in his chest intensifies, completely unrelated to the blade currently in it. Ichigo's eyes widen as he sees her slender wrists take shape around the handle of the glowing sword. Tiny elbows locked in position. The graceful curve of a black-clad shoulder, the now-sharp angle of her hair brushing against the stubborn jaw. He can barely bring himself to raise his eyes to hers, but when he does, she exhales, as if she had been holding her breath for a long time.
"Rukia," he whispers her name, feeling relief and a strange emotion fill him. She has shorter hair now, and her dark locks fly in the breeze. She gives him a half grin, purple eyes locking onto amber as the sword glows brighter, expanding in his chest. A strong gust envelops the two of them, blocking out the rest of the world. Unconsciously, he reaches a hand back, to brush it against the back of hers. Her skin is like silk, cool and smooth. Then the world explodes.
Ichigo closes his eyes as the first surge of reiatsu breaches, and then it just keeps coming. The gust forms into a twister, reaching up into the sky. When it clears, he is back in his shihakusho, with a new incarnation of Zangetsu in his hand.
The rogue shinigami takes a step back, shocked. "What- Impossible."
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Ichigo ignores him, whirling around to face the one person he needed to see.
"Rukia," he breathes, hoping against hope this isn't a hallucination. His fingers itch to touch her again. It has been too long and her scent is driving him mad.
I missed you so much.
Thank you for saving me.
"Yes. Long time no see." Rukia gives him her usual smile, but there is an uncertain look in her eyes. He isn't quite sure why.
"Ichigo." Even watching her lips enunciate his name makes his stomach jump. "You've grown strong and mature since the last time I saw you." Almost as an afterthought, she follows this with a kick to the face. Ichigo smiles at the sting, glad to take even kicks from Rukia. He is just so happy to see her again. "Crying like a pathetic fool. You turned into a wimp the moment I stopped keeping my eye on you," Rukia rails at him, but Ichigo can't stop smiling at the underlying concern in her voice. He puts on an indignant face as he gets back to his feet, feeling the warm familiar glow of reiatsu sparking in him.
"Urahara told me about the powers of that Tsukishima dude," she continues, her face sobering. "He can rewrite the past. That is indeed terrifying. But so what?" Rukia places a tiny fist on her hip, chin up and channelling Byakuya's disdain. "He can rewrite your past but he can't change your future. Lost bonds can be forged again. Am I wrong, Ichigo?"
The scowl she sends him makes Ichigo want to do things to her, crazy, naughty things. He gives himself a mental shake, confused by the direction his thoughts are taking. 'Focus, Ichigo,' he tells himself.
"Rukia, can I say one thing?" he gives her a serious look. "He didn't change my past, you know."
Rukia lunges at him with the glowing sword. "You idiot. What is with that serious face?"
"Hey stop waving that thing around, it's dangerous!" Ichigo backs away, matching her scowl. They stare at each other for a long moment, gazing into each other's eyes and settling back into old habits almost immediately. To his surprise, Rukia flinches, and breaks his gaze.
"The sword has no blade," she says, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously. She launches into an abbreviated explanation of his newly restored powers.
This is new, this suddenly skittish girl. Ichigo files that away in his head, promising to get back to her after all of this is over. The other Substitute shinigami butts in, demanding his attention.
"Rukia. Dad. Urahara-san," Ichigo says casually over his shoulder, returning his grip to Zangetsu. "Go find out what happened to Inoue and the others, ok? I'll catch up with you after this." Chad can probably take care of himself, he figures, but Orihime has always been too kind for her own good, and who knows what Tatsuki and the others are up to now. And his sisters need to be accounted for too. He doesn't see the light go out in Rukia's eyes, or the way she stills.
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A/N: This chapter was too long so I am breaking it up into pieces. Cheers!