Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, or any of its characters. All rights go to Richelle Mead.

APOV

"She's dead, Rose is dead."

"Lissa, please, you have to stop. Rose isn't dead, she just had to leave the academy for a little while, remember?"

Lissa had been hysterical when I'd first arrived, screaming over and over again that Rose was gone. I had tried everything to soothe her, but it seemed like nothing I said even registered with her. Her screams had eventually died off, her voice was hoarse now – barely a whisper. She was banging her head against her pillow, pulling at her restraints. I couldn't stand to see her like this. Lissa was one of the few people in my life that I not only cared about, but who cared about me in return. I couldn't lose her.

"She's dead," her voice was soft.

I reached a hand toward her tentatively, scared that my touch might set her off again. I decided to take the risk, and slipped my hand into hers. She tensed, but didn't react beyond that. Her eyes were squeezed shut, but a few tears managed to escape and they began steadily trickling down her pale cheeks.

"Adrian," she whispered. "She's gone, really gone."

I let out a sigh of relief, not at the content of Lissa's words, but at the mention of my name. It meant a part of the girl I had known was still there. Lissa hadn't been acting right for weeks, she was reckless and didn't seem to care about anything. Well she cared now.

"Lissa, Rose is fine. I saw her in a dream not two days ago," I reassured her.

Maybe fine wasn't really the most appropriate word to use, but Lissa didn't need to know that. I chose not to mention that Rose had been completely doped up on vampire bites at the time.

"No," she whined. "She's not fine. I can't feel her any more, in my head. It's like someones ripped her away from me."

This was troubling, the bond that Lissa and Rose shared was a rare phenomenon. I only understood it based on what they had told me, and what I had seen when I observed their auras.

"It's so strange…" Her voice trailed off as she lost herself in her thoughts.

"A lot of things happened tonight," I told her. "Do you remember…do you remember what happened, how you ended up here?"

She stared at a spot on the wall thoughtfully, trying to puzzle the pieces together.

"I died," she said, barely loud enough for even my heightened sense of hearing to pick up. "I jumped off of the ledge and I died."

"Lissa, I know you haven't been yourself lately, but why…why would you do that? Was it spirit?"

I knew first hand what the madness of spirit felt like. It was what drove me to smoke and drink in excess, what had driven Lissa to cut herself, both of us seeking some kind of relief. We had both flirted with death on multiple occasions, trying to keep the darkness at bay.

"It was Avery," she told me. "I could feel her compelling me the whole time, but I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to stop, I just wanted to make her happy. Why would she do that, Adrian?"

Avery's intentions were still a mystery to me. She had gone to a lot of trouble to hide her aura from Lissa and me, not to mention the amount of spirit she would have had to use on a daily basis to compel us both. Why all the mind games? Why had she tried to kill Lissa? I started to speak but a gasp from Lissa cut me off.

"Adrian! I should be dead, I jumped! Adrian, how am I here? How –"

I grimaced, I had wondered when this would come up.

"Because I healed you."

Her face grew dark and troubled, she was trying desperately to figure something out. A deafening silence filled the room, save for the beeping of Lissa's heart monitor.

"That makes me shadow-kissed…and, Adrian, I saw…I saw you coming here, I was in Kirova's office!"

Her words confirmed what had been lurking in the back of my mind since coming to the medical ward. I had all but exhausted my supply of magic for the time being, but I had a feeling that if I tried to bring her aura into focus, it would be tinged in black.

"But I'm a spirit user, I give life! What does this mean?"

I hadn't thought about this. A spirit user who was also shadow-kissed? The two were practically opposite ways of existing. What would the side effects of such a paradox be? I thought back to what I had witnessed when Lissa had turned her magic on Avery; it was like nothing I had ever seen before.

"I don't know, Lissa, but I have a feeling nothing is going to be the same any more."

I thought about how unstable the auras of Avery, Reed, and Simon had been. Bonding with more than one person didn't seem safe, and I worried what it would mean for Lissa and Rose. Would Rose be bonded to me through Lissa now?

"Rose is dead," Lissa told me, her voice cracking.

"What?"

She gave me a knowing look, the bond, right. Lissa would know everything I did now.

Shit.

My fingers twitched, I began patting down my pockets out of habit. I needed a cigarette. This was getting too complicated and I felt like I had a massive spirit hangover.

"Lissa, for the last time, Rose is not dead."

She couldn't be. Rose was the strongest, fiercest, most passionate human being I had ever met. I had known it from the first moment I had laid eyes on her. Surely, if such a blaze of pure energy had gone out, the whole world would have gone dark.

Lissa shook her head at me and more tears began to carve little paths down her cheeks.

"I know you don't believe me," she told me, barely able to choke out her words. "But it's true."

"No," I said without even thinking. "I can prove it to you. I can find her."

Enough was enough, Rose needed to come home. Lissa needed her, and with all the problems that psychic bonds could create, I knew that we would all need to be together to deal with any possible consequences of a multiway bond.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed the number for the bank where I had opened Rose an account. I had promised her I wouldn't spy on her or track her spending, but we were beyond that now. I gave the account number and an access code, and then asked for a list of the most recent transactions.

"You're sure?" I asked the man on the other line.

"Positive, the most recent transaction took place at what I think is a grocery store in a small town in Siberia."

Was this a joke? What had Rose been doing in Siberia?

"I need you to send that list to me," I told him.

"Where would you like it sent, Mr. Ivashkov?"

I gave him my email address and then ended the phone call. Rose's spending pattern was troubling, especially since it had eventually tapered off. She hadn't used the debit card or accessed the account for weeks now. I decided I wouldn't tell Lissa that last bit.

"Adrian, stop trying to hide things from me."

"Christ, Lissa! Can you stay out of my head for five minutes.? It's muddled enough with just me in there."

She glared at me, but then her face became sad again.

"See," she whispered. "Rose, hasn't spent any money in weeks."

"That doesn't mean anything," I told her, trying to reassure myself as much as I was her.

I began undoing Lissa's ankle and wrist restraints.

"Adrian, what are you doing?"

"I thought you knew everything? We're going to Siberia."