Chapter 45
When Rin was awake Teto's advice to her was to act normal. Yuma had ordered for Rin to be woken but he hadn't come to do so himself. Apparently, it would've been a bad idea based on what Rin's potential reaction may have been. And she certainly couldn't blame him. Where Yuma was concerned, Rin was ready for a war. Unfortunately, that war wouldn't yet come to be materialized, there would be a time for such reckoning. For the time beings Teto had taken on the task.
Acting normal proved a more difficult than the simplicity Teto had referred to it being. This was because Rin wasn't sure what normal was for her. Even if the sudden awakening hadn't scrambled her thoughts as it had, Rin wasn't sure she was capable of being normal. She felt like a stranger in the agency and she had every right to feel as such. What had been the norm for her when she hadn't been off threatening and assaulting people like an agency dog? She hadn't had much time to consider the question before Teto handed her a schedule.
"Here," Teto said as she handed a couple papers to Rin. "You followed this schedule exactly every day." Rin nearly forced the papers back into Teto's arms.
"I'm not staying here, Teto," Rin stated firmly.
"You don't really get a choice," Teto replied bitterly before she turned around and kept walking. Rin walked briskly to keep up with her.
"Okay, I get that," Rin commented gently, "But what is normal?" There was a brief pause in Teto's step. "I mean all we need to do is get you and your brother out of here," Rin's voice dropped to a whisper as a few scientists stalked by them. "That was why-"
"And how do you intend to do that?" Teto snapped without turning to face Rin. "With a 'pretty please'?" Rin considered the notion for a moment without taking Teto's sarcasm into account. "He's not just going to let us go, Rin," Teto said dryly.
"Then we'll think of something," Rin added optimistically.
"Like?" It was then that Rin pulled Teto aside.
"Before you woke me up I was on my way to figuring out a few things," Rin admitted. She wasn't entirely sure why she should trust Teto, only that it felt right. "I'm not sure how and I'm not sure why but I could see some things that pertained only to Yuma." Teto stared at her, it wasn't hopeful but it possessed some measure of curiosity.
"Did you find anything useful?" Teto asked. Rin wanted to tell her about the brother she discovered and about her mother, but Teto wasn't the person that could really help her make sense of that info. There would be no point in telling Teto something when there was no real basis or importance to what she had to say. Rin settled for shaking her head.
"Not particularly."
"Then keep looking when you have time," Teto ordered. "We can find a way out faster if we're both at it. And perhaps you can...figure out who you used to be."
"And for now?"
"Act normal." There were those words again.
That conversation had been a day ago and Rin didn't feel any less unsure. If anything, she felt more unsettled. She didn't belong here. Her schedule hadn't included any of the pain or torture that the agency was associated with. Hours passed in a daze, as if she weren't really living. She simply went from room to room and tried to get familiar with everything. Often she browsed. Ted never once had an audience with her. And to be frank, nobody did. Nobody dared to look her way. Rin walked in the hushed and twisted elegance of agency and with growing irritation wondered when Ted would begin acting as he had when she'd first gotten back here.
She'd hadn't bothered with the schedule Teto had handed her. It meant nothing to her now. She spent her hours roaming the grounds in hopes of an interesting discovery. As she walked, she thought about many things. What had happened to her brother? Her mother? Why was Yuma the way he was now? Where was Len? How was she supposed to get back to him? The answers to her questions continued to elude her as her thoughts provided no solutions.
Soon enough, Rin had tired of roaming empty halls with people who either cowered to the side and let her pass or simply made themselves sparse. She began to explore the property but she didn't venture beyond the agency grounds which she quickly learned were very extensive. Rin couldn't help wondering then if the crumbling ruins of a once enchanting building she found nestled at the back corner of the agency property was a mistake. It wasn't long after that she followed what was left of the road paved with square stones she couldn't place; perhaps a mixture of cobblestone and asphalt leading up to the top a central hill in the distance towards that very building. She stumbled across what looked like an abandoned hut but reminded her of a modest castle tower. There was a design in the rock that was an intricate mass of swirling vines and as Rin's eyes traced them she realized it collected into a portrait that assembled into angelic wings.
The entire picture was of an angel with wings made of harsh vines that oddly remained delicate. The angel's hands were clasped around a thick gem the size of both her fists of possibly the clearest blue she'd ever seen. Her hair was a blonde so bright it was nearly stark white. Rin stood in a momentary dumbfounded silence before a moment of peace came to her. She remembered this particular warmth and peace from Yuma's memory associated with one person: her mother. Her curiosity bloomed to its full extent when she noticed the door beneath the angel.
Originally, Rin hadn't planned on going inside because tomorrow was bound to be another dreary day. Exploring the tower was certainly something that could be done tomorrow in an attempt to kill her boredom. Yet, the door pushed open easily enough as curiosity got the better of her.
The door was no lightweight, it was solid and moved soundlessly but not without some effort. Rin was surprised to find that the door seemed relatively new and the clear signs of polishing showed that someone was taking care of it. When she did manage to get it open and slip inside what stood before her astounded her. Rin was standing in a modest living space. On her right was a spacious kitchen free of any dust and aging despite the architecture of the building. A small dining room was opposite the sleek marble counters and Rin couldn't help but notice the table was set with a mixture of well-crafted modern china in all types of estranged shapes.
She all but flowed into the next room with her eagerness to see more. The next room happened to be a spacious living room with a circular staircase leading up to the second story in the far corner. Rin felt giddy at her discovery. A quaint plush couch and a small glass coffee table sat before a crackling fire to her left. The fireplace was made out of stone and beside it was a rack of various fire poking tools as well as a sizeable stack of wood varying in sizes. She noticed the arched window across from the staircase barely visible due to its grey shades on the right side. There was also a fine glass desk to Rin's immediate right. It was boxed in on either side with large bookcases that lay flat against the wall.
Rin strode over to the desk and glanced over all the scrolls, letters, books, and loose-bound vellum covering every possible surface of it. Both the bookcases were filled and above the desk, set into the wall, was a lengthy cubby that extended the length of the room and only broke where there happened to be spaces like the door, the window, and the staircase. Rin skimmed the subjects and other literature in the cubby across the room, stupefied by the seemingly endless amount of topics.
Essentially, it was a gathered library that ranged from everything to history, mathematics, medics and astronomy. There was botany and alchemy, fighting tactics, swordsmanship of all kinds, stealth techniques, technology studies as well as construction, hand-to-hand techniques, and the mastery of pickpocketing. There were endless notes and studies on lock-picking. Rin stumbled across formulas for chemistry, biology, and physics. She even spotted philosophy, archery, and blacksmithing. The topics continued on still and Rin even found books loaded with what she could only simply describe as the darker arts; torture included. Her hands lingered over each book briefly until she'd read the title and moved on to the next. She was so lost in examining literature that she jolted when her body collided with another body and screamed.
"I leave for the span of a few minutes and someone already trespasses," a voice from behind her stated, its tone amused. Rin swiveled around with ankle-breaking speed and was surprised when she didn't fall. Then her eyes met blinding pink ones, a wave of recognition struck her and she did fall. She was reaching for something she could use to strike Yuma with before she really looked and realized it wasn't him. They shared the same eye color but other than that there was a multitude of differences between Yuma and this person.
Instead of the gradient of pink and silver that she remembered this person possessing last, his hair was pink and amber due to the lighting of the fire. His eyes were still intense but unlike Yuma's they were far softer as he gazed at her. The anxiety and anticipation for something Rin didn't understand welled up inside her and threatened to burst. It was the same oddly familiar stranger that Rin had seen "waiting" for the bus. Rin still didn't know him but at least she knew where she'd known him from.
"You!" Rin shouted, "I know you." And if Rin knew the emotions correctly, she swore she saw a flash of hope flicker in his eyes despite his facial expression remaining remote.
"Do you?" His voice possessed so much hope that Rin smiled.
"Yeah, you're that guy from the bus stop." And then the flicker was gone as fast as it had come. But unlike regular emotions there was no fleeting expression in his features. He still offered his hand to help her up. Goosebumps formed on Rin's skin as she accepted the helping hand. Her hand clasped in his had a certain feel to it that she couldn't place. And despite all his well-defined muscle and clear knowledge that everyone here had been through hardships and torments, his hands weren't as hard and calloused as Rin thought they would be. Rin fought back a shudder and let go the second she was up. The warmth of his touch still lingered in all the places that his hand had touched hers. Her nerve endings felt as if they were on fire.
"So," Rin started. "Seems we do know each other after all." But the stranger glanced from her to the door without giving her much reprieve for her curiosity.
"You're trespassing," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Being that I'm Yuma's daughter I have the right to go anywhere I please. Nobody has bothered to stop me before." Rin folded her arms over her chest and planted both her feet.
"You're still trespassing," he stated again. Rin sighed finally letting some of the weariness show. She knew that it was wise to keep her guard up at the agency but she was so tired of the continuous boredom of that past few days.
"Aren't you going to tell me your name or anything?" Rin said. "You're the first person aside from a Kasane to actually acknowledge me."
"Many people acknowledge you," he pointed out without any feeling. "Without fail."
"Yeah, but none of them talk to me," Rin grumbled.
"What about Cul?"
And Rin remembered the fearsome girl who set out her outfits every morning and was supposed to take her to class. Rin had avoided Cul like the plague and oddly enough, Cul hadn't been good at pursuing her. That or she never sought to.
"We didn't get on all that well," Rin said, dancing around the real answer.
"I see." Was his only reply. Then the silence continued on and nothing else happened aside from him staring at the door. And when Rin thought she would speak to break the unbearable silence that haunted her days now, he spoke again. "Did you want her replaced?" Rin's eyes widened.
"No!" Her sudden reply made him look her over but he didn't so much as arch an eyebrow in question. "It's not that I want her gone or anything. It...It's my fault for avoiding her." No reaction from him so she elaborated. "I didn't want to go to those classes."
And despite knowing she probably should've, Rin never did. Something just didn't feel right about going to class.
"It didn't feel right, if that makes sense," Rin attempted to clarify. "All I want to do-"
"Is find out who you were," he said, finishing the sentence for her. Rin nodded and then he said something that stunned her. "Do you think that can be accomplished by avoiding classes?"
Rin had never thought of it that way.
"Look, I just want to remember who I was," Rin pleaded. "Do you know what it's like? I've wandered around a place that is not personally my home. I've been sleeping in a bed that isn't really mine and wearing the clothes of a stranger. People who do bother to look at me have judgment and contempt in their eyes for wrongs I've caused that I can't even remember." Rin took a step toward him and he focused his gaze on hers. "I don't understand and I want to. I want to make up for any misery I caused in the past. I can't do that if I can't remember and I don't know if I can. People are counting on me..." She'd said it but she didn't feel much difference at doing so. If anything she was a tad embarrassed for unloading all her problems on this stranger who was listening as she trespassed in his home. But Rin had to tell someone and he was the only one present.
"And what do you expect me to do?" he asked.
"I...any help would be appreciated." Rin saw her face reflected in his eyes with the intensity that she stared. Then he stood and strode towards the door holding it open for her. Rin sighed heavily and crossed the modest home till she stood outside once more. She opened her mouth to ask his name followed by whether he would help her or not.
"It's Luki."
Images flashed through Rin's mind, herself as a little girl and a boy who had protected her. A hug that the two had shared as well as the women and scientists alike that had come for them both.
"Come now, Luki."
Rin couldn't help notice the well-defined muscle of which he had just the right amount. He'd come a long way but the features she'd seen him possess in their youth from the brief dream she'd lived on in a mature face. Though, his gaze seemed emptier than it had been back then.
"Forgive me, Luki," Rin said "I don't remember you as perhaps I should..." He gestured for her to start walking and she did. He fell into step effortlessly beside her with the practice of someone who was used to doing so routinely. Rin saw him shove his hands into his pockets but it didn't make him look awkward. He looked stunning in just a simple tee and jeans. Though, Rin also felt a sort of sadness from him even as his facial features and body language never changed. She didn't inquire.
"What are you really here for, Rin?" He finally spoke as they walked. Rin heard a heavy door slide closed behind them.
"I want to know who I am," Rin declared.
"Is that all?"
"I also want to make up for the wrongs I've caused. Teto and Ted deserve a better life than this."
"Why?"
"It's the right thing to do."
"But is that really all?" Luki stated. Rin's pace progressively slowed until she stopped. The sun was blazing in the sky, its heat stifling. Rin didn't feel any of it as she stared at Luki. She felt cold. Some sort of unbearable chill.
"What do you mean?" But Luki didn't elaborate, even when Rin caught up to him. They walked on in silence but each step brewed something inside of Rin; usually a question. Finally, she got the nerve to ask it. "Do you know why I left in the first place?"
A breath of emotion flickered across his face. For a second Rin saw into some deep inconceivable pain, the same kind of pain she knew deeply. She knew it from Teto and many others who walked around the agency. A flicker of it was enough. Luki didn't know. And as much as Rin wanted to ask other questions, she refrained once more.
...
When Luki had finished escorting Rin to classes, she finally realized where Ted had been when she couldn't find him. It was ironic then that she'd been scheduled to have classes with Ted and all the privacy that entitled her to, and have not gone once. There were three desks the likes Rin had never seen as she entered the agency classroom. The seats were plush and comfy while the desk itself was of a rich redwood. Rin stiffened in sudden fear and despite that, she swallowed. The worst possible thing she could imagine happening to her was death at the very least. Though, Yuma wouldn't kill her; this she knew. Death wasn't the worst thing. Yuma could slaughter everything dear to her, he could torture her. But the options ended there.
Luki strode over and seated himself in a desk before Ted. Rin noticed her desk was in the middle, with the farthest one on Luki's right occupied by a girl with vibrant purple hair. Rin realized she was holding her breath when she noticed that the girl with the purple hair had nearly all of it was cut and shaved short and close to her head as it could get. She turned in her seat to look at Rin and Rin couldn't help take in every detail of her from the long bangs that slanted across her left eye, neon purple clothes, and the spiked - also purple - combat boots she wore. She looked formidable but that was before she launched herself at Rin and Rin was caught up in a tight embrace.
"Rin! Oh, thank goodness," the girl cheered. "I thought they had-I thought you were-" Tears rolled down the girls cheeks as she hugged Rin more fiercly. Rin hugged her back until she was released. The lavender child spun and tackled Luki with a squeal; he didn't so much as wince or budge: he was as solid as a wall.
"Luki, Rin-"
"Doesn't remember us," Luki said utterly monotone. The girl instantly grew gloomy.
"Doesn't remember..." Rin's heart sank.
"I'm sorry," Rin began. "I really don't remember much about this place." The girl Rin didn't know spun to face Ted. Ted raised both his hands in innocence.
"If you would take a seat, Yuzuki, I could begin to explain," Ted clarified. Rin found the mysterious girl Yuzuki seated before Ted finished his sentence. Not wanting to delay, Rin also sat. All eyes stared at her, the three sets of them anyway. Yuzuki moved around impatiently in her seat, Luki looked indifferent.
"Rin," Ted cleared his throat. "These two are Luki and Yuzuki." Yuzuki grinned and waved while Luki simply blinked. "They, like you are also Dolls."
"Dolls?" Rin repeated.
"It's what the final product was named," Ted said. Rin listened intently despite being confused.
"Final product?" Rin repeated, Ted nodded.
"Hmm, perhaps we should go back to the beginning, Ted," Yuzuki suggested. She was leaning back in her chair balancing a pencil on her nose. Rin shook her head.
"The purpose of these classes is to learn about who I used to be, correct?" Rin asked. Ted nodded.
"That's right. We can't do much for you if you don't remember who you are."
"Rin already knows who she is," Luki commented.
"Yeah, which would be useful if she knew how to access any of that knowledge," Yuzuki added sardonically.
"Well, she knows that she is Yuma's daughter," Ted added with a shudder.
"And that Ia is my mother," Rin said. Everyone stared at her again.
"How do you know that?" Yuzuki asked in as she leaned closer to Rin. Rin shrugged.
"I saw some things," Rin spoke cautiously. "Only a few things. My mother was the Arcane Seer and Yuma was the bad to her good, I suppose. They were meant to destroy each other but that didn't end up happening."
"What else did you see?" Ted said with a raised eyebrow. Rin felt on the spot once more.
"I didn't see much else," Rin lied, purposely not mentioning her brother, Lucarious. She had no idea where he could be after all. Her heart throbbed with a longing and Rin felt the piercing intensity of Luki's gaze again. Other than Luki, Ted was the only one who really focused on Rin.
He stared at her for so long that Rin thought Ted had seen through her lie, until he merely turned. The spotlight grew hotter.
"Well, that's fine. We do have some measure for recovery. For now why not get acquainted with Luki and Yuzuki, Rin? That might spark a few more memories," Ted suggested. Frankly, Rin hated it.
"Do we really need to be here for those measures to be taken?" Rin pressed. It was noticeable how Ted froze.
"Rin, I don't understand what you-"
"I mean getting out of here, Ted," Rin said. "You know the most here, don't you? We need-"
"Rin!" Ted shouted suddenly. She fell silent. "If we could talk alone for a moment, please." Luki and Yuzuki made themselves sparse without so much as one noise as a disruption. The door shut firmly behind them and Rin rose from her seat.
"I don't understand why you're acting like everything is fine, Ted," Rin said but it came out in a strained whisper.
"You don't understand, Rin," Ted affirmed as he met her gaze. He yanked down his sleeve and showed her the brand. "I already told you why we can't leave, didn't I?"
"That doesn't mean we can't make plans," Rin commented.
"And just what would we accomplish? Nobody is leaving as long as this brand exists. Even if we did get out Yuma will hunt us down before we run very far. Do you get that?" The last part came out far more harshly than Ted had intended. Rin slumped back into her chair. She fought back tears that threatened to come.
"I can't stand just sitting here, Ted," Rin cried as she drew he legs up to her chest. "There has to be something. Anything is better than sitting here." Ted came to seat himself on the desk before her.
"Didn't you want to find out who you were?" Ted prodded gently, Rin nodded. "Why not start with getting to know Yuzuki and Luki again? Unless you think you can try to remember how you did what you did before."
"I don't know how, Ted," Rin sobbed finally. "I came all this way and I don't even know..." Rin breathed out a shuddering breath and Ted set a hand on her shoulder to steady her.
"It's okay," he whispered. "You don't have to explain it all to me." Rin nodded and Ted leaned forward to gently wipe away her tears. Rin gazed up at him and Ted was silent as she worked to get herself under control. She noticed something in his expression, some other branch of the terrible pain he usually endured but it was gone by the time she'd really settled down.
"I do have one idea if you're up for it," Ted said. Rin pushed a few strands of hair back behind her ear and listened intently. "We just need to give you mind a short charge," Ted suggested. Rin felt her skin prickle.
"What do you mean?"
"Certain past events could be triggered in your memory that had the same effect on you as they once did."
"Ted, that doesn't make any sense," Rin said in a panicky voice, "Phase shifts are-"
"Completely irreversible." Ted cut in. Rin stood up from her chair and took a step away from Ted, something wasn't quite right.
"Ted, I don't understand what you mean," Rin said again. He stared right at her.
"You want to figure this out, don't you?" Ted insisted. Rin nodded. "Rin, don't you trust me?"
Perhaps it would've been better to hesitate, but Rin did trust Ted. She trusted Ted Kasane more than anyone at the agency. Ted had already done everything in his power to defend her once, and he would do it again. He'd promised her, she could trust him. So even when her instincts screamed at her she trusted Ted. She trusted him merely because he was Ted and he would not betray her. She would hold on to that hope no matter what happened. Rin barely even felt the first syringe. She was out before she could hear Ted's whispered apology.
...
Rin knew something was horribly and utterly wrong when she woke up; if the glass container she was in happened to be any indicator of how bad the situation had suddenly gotten. She felt stiff and her body ached with every heartbeat. Her clothes were different and she was chained up in all sorts of intricate and delicate locks and chains. She slammed her hands frantically on the glass but received no answer. If she could've fallen to her knee, she would've. As it were, Rin simply sagged and cold metal seared her skin.
It was awfully dark and bleak as Rin checked her surroundings. She'd been placed in a lab in glass like a specimen; an object. The rattling of her bindings was deafening as Rin realized she was shaking. Ted's betrayal cut her deeply and yet at the same time didn't completely register. He couldn't have done such a horrible thing to her, Teto wouldn't allow it. Her fists shook with a certain smoldering anger that swiftly quelled as Rin remined herself that anger wasn't who she was; she did not stop shaking. An eerie sound drifted through the room as a sickening tune that boiled Rin's blood. Someone was whistling and that someone was Ted.
Ted stared straight at her with a coffee in hand. He sipped it graciously and easily like some kind of life energy. It was his eyes that unsettled, Rin. They lacked their wavering color and even the tenderness that was the core of Ted Kasane. There was no emotion left in his eyes. They were devoid of the very essence that made Ted himself, all that remained was the exhaustion. A single tear trickled down Rin's cheek. Before her was a shell of Ted. It was the Ted that Yuma assumed would eventually be his right hand man. Rin's throat felt thick as she kept telling herself a lie she would not believe but desperately wanted to, 'Ted isn't like this because of you. Ted didn't become like this for you. It's not your fault.'
"Ted?" Rin called. "Ted what is this?" Ted sighed heavily and finished his coffee. He set the cup down gently on a nearby table.
"Rin, you need to understand that we've edited your genetics. We've trained your mind and made drastic changes to your body."
"Ted, let me out," Rin begged. But Ted only got up and paced around the lab flipping through papers a cabinets.
"Our greatest weapon. Our greatest success. The only thing we did not anticipate was your escape. We thought you were happy here. Scientists loved you, all our staff and our workers loved you."
"That's a lie..." Rin whispered. Ted ranted on.
"Even your father loved you. You're his daughter after all." Then Ted swivelled to face her and Rin saw it. She saw the flicker of madness that sparkled in Ted's eyes to fill the void she'd seen earlier. "What changed your mind, Rin?" He asked so tenderly that he seemed like himself. The sight of Ted like that drove his question hard into Rin.
"I wanted...more for myself," Rin whispered. Ted concentrated on her as a grin broke across his face.
"Hmm?"
"I deserved more."
"More..." he repeated, "The way you broke out of here was such a spectacle!" and then he laughed like a madman. He laughed before a large, pristine monitor screen and clicked it on. A gruesome scene played before Rin's eyes. She saw herself, she saw the hundreds of personnel that came up to stop her. She closed her eyes against all the violence that ensued. She didn't want to see it. Hearing the animalistic screams that men were not made to make was more than enough. Her entire body trembled violently.
"You escaped here using nothing but a surgical knife. Yuma was so incredibly furious..." Ted sounded so hollow.
"That man isn't capable of real feelings..." Rin choked out.
"Family is still family, Rin," Ted sneered. And then Rin felt the searing fire in her veins. Her scream was something so incredibly raw that the glass dome she was in shuddered. She convulsed and all the while Ted watched her. "This is how it has to be..." There was remorse in Ted's voice as he set his hand against the glass.
"K-Kasane..." Rin set her hand against his through the glass. It only lasted a second before the violent fire in her veins brewed fresh pain. Rin couldn't see through her tears of pain.
"I activated a phase shift forcefully," Ted said as he strolled over to a desk and examined a series of bottles and enchanters. Rin screamed again. "It'll hurt but it's necessary to return you to how you were. Before you escaped here, we didn't see any signs that you were actively in a phase shift on your own. Such a thing can't be possible. Do you understand why, Rin?"
Rin sagged lifelessly in her binds, but her mind wouldn't allow her to become unconscious. Her breath was ragged, her vision wavering between shades of red.
"Simply because it hurts this much when you have a phase shift. So, how did you do it? How did you become who you are now?" Rin felt as if each individual nerve ending was splitting. She was delirious in her agony. "Who you are is not what you are now, Rin. That voice still lingering is who you were before. It's who you're supposed to stay. You are not this giddy every day school girl! How dare you..." Ted rasped. "How dare you make a mockery of my hard work. We didn't know there was another phase shift. We don't know why there was another shift..." Ted knocked a table to the floor and bottles of all shapes were thrown but did not break when they hit the floor.
"Why?" Ted trembled, his shoulders shaking until he dropped his head in his hands.
"Len..." Rin choked, her voice brittle. "What will happen to Len...?"
"He'll be forgotten just like everyone else. No more than a memory fragment you can no longer access."
Through her pain, Rin didn't cry for herself. Only then did Rin see some of the human and sane qualities return to Ted's features as he stared at her. Rin only cared for a second. It was only a second before the entire glass container shattered outwards into nothing but dust. It was the same slow second that gave her all the time she needed to disintegrate her bonds. Ted's disoriented second was enough for her.
She grabbed Ted by his lab coat and smashed him up against a nearby wall. There was an firey battle in her veins was nothing but a background noise, it was little compared to what Rin was about to do to Ted. He shook visibly as his fear was all she needed to kill - Rin dropped Ted immediately. Both her hands trembled. She was appalled and sickened with herself. Rin felt bile in her throat. This wasn't who she was any longer. She wasn't this monstrous disaster. The tears that spilled down her cheeks burned worse than the war raging inside her. So she ran.
Rin bolted out of the laboratory doors that could not contain her. She pulled her arms in and wrapped them tightly around herself when the door flew off its hinges and slammed clean through a wall. Rin cried out and kept running down the agency hall way. This wasn't who she was. She was a normal girl who opened doors easily. She slowed her sprint on purpose when she noticed how fast she was going. This was not who she was. Rin never stumbled, so she purposely fell. She tripped over herself and landed carelessly because it was human.
And still, she took the fall perfectly without injury. Her next forced stumble ended up being a signature slide around a corner and she cried harder. This was not who she was. She couldn't be this, she worked so hard for it not to be so. Rin kept running.