A/N: So, we've gone from wanting to kick Finn's ass to wanting to kick Kurt's ass. Personally, I think they could both use a good kicking at the moment. Thank you for all the reviews and alerts!

Kurt POV

Once I finished with my little tantrum in the parking lot, I just sat there, drained and tired. I know full well that making mistakes and getting my heart broken is a natural part of life, but somehow I had never actually believed that it would happen to me. At least not with Finn.

Go to Mercedes. She won't care if you're a little early, and she'll help you sort all of this out. Do something, because you look like Hell.

Oh, now she had some good advice? Wasn't Galinda the one who had told me to kiss Finn in the first place? That if I didn't do it right then I was going to lose him forever? Well, guess what? I listened to her and lost him anyway.

Oh, no, Kurt, don't blame your mess on me. I told you to give him a little kiss. I did not tell you to jerk him off in your basement. Actually, I believe I told you several times to take it very slow with him. Face it, Sweetness, you have only yourself to blame.

The fact that she was right made me take a shaky breath. I could have stopped what had happened at any time, and I hadn't. Finn would have understood, I'm sure of it. He's kind of dumb, but he understands boundaries, and I when I had asked him to stop so I could take my shirt off, he had done so immediately. He hadn't been happy about it, but he had stopped.

I took a deep breath and found my cell, which I had thankfully remembered this morning. The number was as familiar as my own, as was the voice that answered. "What's up, Baby?"

"Can I come over right now?" My voice was subdued.

"Uh-oh. Of course you can come over. Do I need to haul out the ice cream?"

I knew just how bad things were with the next words that came out of my mouth. "Get the real stuff, not the fat free. Do you have any whipped cream?"

She sighed heavily. "Do I need to kill Finn Hudson?"

"No. Listen, I'll explain everything when I get there."

"Alright." She definitely wasn't happy, but she accepted that she would find out in a few minutes. "You drive safely, ok? Don't get your cute ass in a wreck just because you're upset."

"I know." I had a brief debate about whether or not to go back to the house and clean myself up a bit, but decided I really didn't care. So what if my eyes were red and I was having trouble breathing through my stuffed up nose? No one was going to see me that way except for Mercedes, and I was pretty sure I was going to start crying again when I got to her place anyway.

Luckily, she was waiting in the driveway for me, ready to give me a hug. Sometimes I wonder how I made it almost sixteen years without having Mercedes in my life. Galinda was right; she would fix this for me.

Mercedes sent me on up to her bedroom while she made us sundaes. I sat mutely on the bed, trying to figure out what to tell her and how.

"Why are you crying?" The voice was small and easily tracked to the doorway, where Mercedes little sister, Victoria, was standing. She was a cute little girl, with her hair in those fancy cornrows that sometimes made me wish I really was Mercedes' brother, just so I could pull the look off.

"Am I crying?" I hadn't realized that I had started up again.

"Yep." She came into the room with far too much seriousness for a six year old. "Did your Prince Charming leave on his white horse? That made Cinderella sad."

Apparently I was so gay that even a small child could figure it out. Was there anyone left in Lima who didn't know? But I didn't have it in me to be rude to a little kid, so I wiped my eyes and smiled at her. "Something like that."

Her skinny little arms wrapped around my neck. "Don't worry, he'll come back. He did for Cinderella, then they got married and it was perfect. I'm going to be Cinderella some day."

I cleared my throat. "I hope that you are. I hope that Prince Charming makes you very happy, and you have a beautifully designed wedding dress, and that you don't make your bridesmaids wear those horrible butt-bow on their dresses."

She giggled. "You're silly."

"Tori, leave Kurt alone. I made you a little bowl of ice cream, but you need to eat it downstairs."

The whining began. "Why can't I stay here? Kurt's my friend, too!"

She really was cute, and alright for a little kid. My father always said that he and Mom wanted at least three kids, but she had gotten sick and I had ended up being his only child. He was quick to reassure me that I was a perfect son, but I'm pretty sure he still wonders what else he could have had.

Mercedes pointed at the door. "You can't stay here because you make a mess when you get ice cream. Plus, Kurt and I are going to talk about kissing." She shot me a sideways look and muttered. "And that better be all we have to talk about."

She's going to flip out when she finds out about what you and Finn did, Kurty-boy. Or maybe she'll like it.

"Ewwww! You kissed someone?" Her mouth gaped in horror, showing me the gaps where her front teeth were missing. "Why?"

Because I'm a moron. I didn't say that though. There would be enough time for Tori to learn the truth about the world. "Don't you plan on kissing Prince Charming when you find him?"

"No! Kissing is gross. I'm just going to marry him and live in a castle and get a horse." She shook her head in a cascade of little barrettes. "Maybe you can kiss him."

"Tori, leave! Kurt needs to practice keeping his lips to himself right now."

With a dramatic sigh, the little girl left. Mercedes sighed. "That kid drives me crazy sometimes."

"I wish I had a brother or sister. I'd even put up with a little one like her." I was trying to get Mercedes off topic, something that rarely actually worked.

It didn't work this time either. "Uh-huh, so lets talk about your almost stepbrother Finn. What happened last night that was so bad you have to eat ice cream and cry to me rather then hang out with him?" Her chocolate eyes narrowed. "Kurt, did he hurt you?"

"What? No." He did kind of break my heart, but I knew that wasn't what she meant.

"Did he try and make you do something you didn't want to? Because I don't care how damn big he is, no one picks on my boy and leaves with his balls intact."

I had no doubt that she was capable of following through with that threat. "No, he didn't push me. Actually, I think I pushed him and that was the problem."

"Oh, boy. Alright, tell me about what happened."

I started with kissing him, how he had put his arms around me and let me set the pace for things. Mercedes chuckled a little at my gushing tone. "So, was it everything you thought it would be when you were practicing on yourself?"

Honestly, it had been more. There had been an electricity that had shot through my body, something I had never felt before. Mercedes slapped me on the shoulder. "It was, wasn't it? I can tell by the look on your face."

I leaned back against her, feeling a smile spread over my face. "Mercedes, it was. It was everything the movies make you think it should be, only better, because it was Finn."

She touched my cheek. "So, what happened then?"

That sobered me instantly, and my face burned. Mercedes was my best friend in the entire world, but I just couldn't tell her what else had happened. It was too personal.

"You slept with him, didn't you? Kurt Hummel, you dirty little slut! Was he good in bed?"

Apparently I was the only one who found it embarrassing. Mercedes herself was dying for details. "I don't know… I mean we didn't…You know what, if you're going to enjoy this so much, I can just go home."

She put an arm around me. "Come on, Kurt, I'm just trying make you smile a little. You came in here looking like someone had burned all of your clothes. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

It was a classic ploy to get someone to tell you something. If you act like you don't care, people will fall all over themselves to talk. Unfortunately, it worked as well on me as it did on all of the other people I had tried it on. "I didn't sleep with him. There may have been a little…uh, hand action." I'm sure at this point my face was clashing with my maroon Marc Jacobs sweater.

"Damn, Kurt. You actually got Finn Hudson after all this time. Him or you?"

"What?"

She gave me another sassy smile. "The 'hand action'." She made a gesture that left no doubt that she understood exactly what I had meant by the term. "Did you get it, or did he?"

"Both." Her easy acceptance made it a little easier for me to talk. "It was….God, Mercedes, it was unbelievable. Afterwards we fell asleep together and it was perfect."

"But I'm guessing not so much this morning? Did he freak out?" Her tone told me that she thought he had.

Now I had come to the part of the story that painted me in a less then flattering light. "No, he didn't. I did."

The words unlocked something in me, and I quickly went over what had happened, from my waking up alone to the blow out over my father to our awkward conversation outside of his house. I didn't cry any more, but only because I was too worn out to do so. Rather then vent my pain that way, I turned it inward and devoured not only my ice cream, but a good portion of Mercedes' as well. Wisely, she didn't say anything about it.

Finally the word vomit ceased, and I was left staring at her, empty eyed and licking the last of the whipped cream off of my lips. "Am I a terrible person?"

"Of course not. A little crazy, and you think about things too much, but you aren't a terrible person. Ok, let's try and get this sorted out. What did Finn say, word for word, and how did he say it?"

It was easy to answer, because the words were seared into my brain. "Well, I asked him why he had gotten up to sleep on the couch, and he said it was because he was restless and his arm was hurting. He said he didn't want to wake me up."

She nodded. "Alright, that makes sense. Was he all defensive about it?"

"Uh, kind of. But I had just totally gotten pissed with him for no reason, so he might have been defensive about that."

She stared me down. "Really? You got pissed for no reason at all?" Her voice told me that she didn't buy it for one second.

One of Mercedes more charming and irritating traits was that she wasn't afraid to call me on my bullshit. I spun my spoon restlessly in the bowl, feeling a little sick from all the sugar and possibly some shame. "I got out of the shower, and he and my Dad were talking football. I've never seen my father so excited. He was fucking touching Finn! He never touches me like that." My voice cracked a little.

Her eyebrow quirked. "And this was Finn's fault?"

"No." It hurt to even admit it to myself. Finn was like a big puppy, and would respond to anyone who was at all affectionate towards him, and even those who weren't. Quinn Fabray being a good example of that.

"Kurt, I'm going to tell you something. I know you don't mean it like this, but you can be very…." She stopped there, clearly looking for a word that wasn't offensive. "Fierce. You just get this look, like anyone who fucks with you is going to leave without one of their hands. Your father sees that too, and he may think that you don't want him to touch you."

There was a certain amount of truth to her words. I knew the look she was talking about. But what she didn't understand was that I had to use that look. If I didn't give off an air of nonchalance and barely contained aggression, I would be dead by now. Those jocks would have been on me like piranhas on blood.

When I did show some vulnerability, though, my father was more willing to hug me. Like when I had confessed that I was gay, or at the hospital when I had been too scared to keep up the façade. Maybe I didn't actually scare my father, but it was certainly easier on both of us to pretend that I neither wanted nor needed his affection. It was an interesting theory, and one that I would have to think about later. But for now, Finn.

The steady arm tightened around me and I leaned into her. "But back to Finn. Did you guys talk about what happened?"

"Sort of. He seemed ok with it at first. He was kind of joking about being a stud and all that. Then he said that it had all been a mistake-" I stopped there, because something had become suddenly clear. Finn hadn't said that it was a mistake, I had. Actually, now that I thought about it, Finn hadn't said anything that meant he didn't want me. Had I really misinterpreted things that badly?

Mercedes tapped my shoulder. "Kurt, what is it?"

"I was the one who said it was a mistake. Finn might not have felt that way."

Her hand came up to cuff me in the side of the head, messing up my hair. "So, you screwed around with Finn, which we both agreed you wanted, then told him the next day that it was a mistake? Ouch, Kurt, how would you have felt if he said that to you?"

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" Even though everything she was saying was the truth, it still hurt to hear.

She snorted. "I am on your side, Baby Boy. But part of being on your side is telling you when you act like a jackass, and this is one of those times. Why in the hell would you think you made a mistake with Finn after you tried so hard to get him?"

I snuggled closer, just so I wouldn't have to look at her when I confessed the truth. "Because I took advantage of him. I knew how upset he was about everything that happened, and I didn't care. It was wrong."

"You think too much. Did you give him a chance to say no?"

Several times. He could have said no when I kissed him, could have refused to go downstairs with me, and could have backed away when I stopped us so I could take my shirt off. I had even asked before I had touched him. "Yes, he had chances."

"And I'm guessing he didn't say no?"

"He didn't."

"So, why did you think you took advantage of him? What specifically made you feel like he was pushed into something he didn't want to do?"

There was no way to answer that, because there wasn't anything that I could point to. I had assumed that I knew what Finn was going to say to me, and cut him off before he could get the words out. "Nothing. I thought he was going to say it, and I was afraid."

"So you know what to do then, right? Apologize to your boy, then see where to go from there."

Since I had already told her most of it, I might as well confess to the rest. "It might not be that easy."

"Oh, Jesus, Kurt, what did you do? And don't pretend it wasn't you, either, because I'm only seeing one person acting like a moron here, and, for once, it's not Finn."

"I was really, really mean to him about Dad. I mean, deliberately scared him and acted like a raving lunatic. I'm pretty sure that he doesn't want to talk to me right now."

Mercedes gave a long suffering sigh. "Let me guess, you started screaming at him?" The entire Glee club, with the possible exception of Rachael and Quinn, knew how Finn felt about being yelled at. Actually, I think Quinn knew how upset it made him, she just didn't care.

"That wouldn't be incorrect." Now that I was out of the heat of the moment, I was totally ashamed of my behavior. Just because I was hurting, there was no reason to take it out on Finn, who really hadn't done anything wrong.

"I'm guessing you already know how wrong that was, I so I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, but Kurt, you need to get over yourself, alright?"

The truth hurt, but she was right. "I know."

"Give things a little while to settle, then give him a call, alright? Explain that you were an idiot, and you know it, and you want to talk things out. Talk, Kurt, not fool around, got it? That's how you got yourself into this mess"

"Got it."

"You better. Now, come over here and get a hug." Her wide smile told me that she still loved me, even though it was really my fault that things had gotten screwed up. I leaned into her embrace. "I love you Mercedes."

"I love you, too. Now that you've pulled your head out of your ass, let's do mani/pedi's and watch a movie. We have to get you looking good for your boy, right?"

Only Finn wasn't my boy, and might never be again. "Alright."

Tori had commandeered the only television, but I was able to talk her into letting Mercedes and I use it by promising we would do her nails also. Her doe-like eyes narrowed. "Can mine be red?"

I sat on the floor next to her. "Sure."

"Can they be pink?"

"Sure."

"Can they be like a rainbow?"

"If we have that many colors." I could only imagine the looks I would get if I showed up with my nails painted in rainbows, but I supposed it would be cute on a little girl.

She hugged me for the second time today. "Yay! Ok, you and Mercedes can have the TV. I'm going to go potty then come back and get pretty like you two."

Her tiny feet pattered on up the stairs. Mercedes pulled out the nail kit and smiled at me. "You're really, really good with her."

I really liked kids. Sure, they were noisy and wild and pretty much walking germ factories, but they were cute, too. "She's a very sweet little girl."

"Do you want one of your own? Someday I mean, not right now like Quinn."

I had thought about it before, but I wasn't really sure. I mean, I really loved the thought of having someone to love me, and depend on me, and make me feel good when I didn't, but kids were such a responsibility. I knew I wouldn't be able to do it on my own, so I would need a partner to help. Then what if something happened to one of us? It would scar the kids forever, just like it had scarred Finn and I. "I don't know. I'd need a partner first."

Hmm…I wonder if Finn likes kids?

"You'll get one. When you aren't acting like an idiot, you have a lot of good qualities. You just need to stop worrying so much. If you would let go and just trust in other people's good intentions, you would have an easier time. Now, do you think you can do tips for me?" She extended her hands.

"I can try." After all, how hard could it be?

Tori came back down and perched in her sister's lap fingers extended. "I'm ready. Like a rainbow please."

So I painted her nails, holding her tiny, fragile little hands in my own to steady them. She babbled on, telling me everything about nothing, and that was a little like Finn, too.

Once I had turned her into a rainbow princess, I started on Mercedes. Thankfully, she refused my offer of rainbows, instead opting for the classic (and classy) French manicure.

We didn't talk much, because we didn't need to. She had told me exactly what I needed to hear, even if it wasn't necessarily what I wanted to. Anything beyond that was superfluous. Plus, Tori was still hanging on our every word, and I didn't want to reveal anything that would traumatize her for life.

Once her manicure was complete, Mercedes painted my nails clear, putting oil on to keep the cuticles hydrated. "What movie do you want to watch?"

"Shrek!" Tori was still hopeful about being included. Mercedes gave her an indulgent sigh. "Kurt, is that fine with you?"

Honestly, I didn't care. I was tired, and wanted nothing more than to lie down and nap. "Sure."

Once she got the movie started, Mercedes sat down on the couch and I laid my head down in her lap. One hand (with perfectly manicured nails, I could always fall back on a career in that if nothing else worked out for me) brushed through my hair. She was messing it up, and it would undoubtedly be a mess of cowlicks and static by the time I stood up, but it felt so good that it was completely worth it. She lightly touched my cheek. "You sleep now for a little bit, alright Baby? Things will look better when you wake up, they always do."

They certainly couldn't look much worse. My eyes grew heavy, and I was asleep even before Shrek and Donkey made it across the bridge. I dreamed a little, snippets that confused Finn and Shrek and the Donkey and I, but mostly I just slept the heavy sleep of someone who's completely exhausted, mentally and physically.

I was woken up by a vibration against my hip and a loud rendition of "Single Ladies". What the hell? I sat up, dislodging a My Little Pony blanket as I did so. The song continued, but I still couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

"Kurt, phone." Mercedes was laughing a little, but it didn't really penetrate my sleep fogged brain.

I dug my cell out of my pocket and looked at the caller ID. Finn. Great. Still, I wasn't going to let him see that he had made me nervous, so I forced myself to be perky. "Hello, Finn Hudson. What can I do for you?"

Galinda had plenty of suggestions for what Finn and I could do together, but I pushed them all aside. Please, God, don't let Finn be angry with me, even though he had every right to be. I could explain everything, if he would give me a chance.

Finn must have been worried, too, because his voice was tense through the static. "I think that maybe I screwed things up. Can you come over a little early tomorrow so we can talk? Please?"

I had no idea why he would think that he was the one who had screwed anything up. I puzzled over it for a few seconds, before realizing that Finn was still there and waiting for an answer. "Ok, Finn. I'll see you at 6:30." That would give us plenty of time to talk and still make it to school on time.

His voice was noticeably lighter when he told me he would see me there and hung up. Mercedes gave me a knowing smile. "So, he wants to kiss and make up, huh? See, you didn't mess everything up, and you are not a bad person. Now just be honest with him, and it will all work out."

Alright, I could do this. Right? All I had to do was meet Finn and talk it out. I even had an entire day to think about it. There was no reason to be nervous; I just had to tell him how I felt. It would be good, right? Right.