From A Witch's Perspective
Chapter Five: To be shield agent or not to be shield agent.
I was sleeping my way through food and stress that next morning. Last night my uncles told me that they would talk when I got up tomorrow. I didn't tell them I planned on getting up sometime in the next ten years. You see when faced with uncertainty in my life, I tend ignore it. I hide under my covers and wait for some divine power of realization to slap me across the face, leaving a hand print that told me what I needed to do.
Fury really threw me off, what was I going to do with him? I wasn't hero or agent material, not by a long shot. Maybe I should just tell him how it is;
'I can't do this, Fury. It's not you, it's me. I'm just not the spy that you deserve, I'll never forget you…unless you want me too because of the whole top secret government operation; in that case I've never seen you, I don't know you, you and your eye patch are gone from my mind.'
"Probably not." I muttered into my pillow and flipped over to my side.
Then there's the teen supers; I know them now but should I just ignore them too?
I thought about my golden haired dream. Danny was a superhero in disguise, fighting crime in a skin tight suit on the streets of New York City; kicking ass and taking names in his spare time.
"As if the guy couldn't get anymore out of my league." I muttered.
"Would you keep your teenaged angst to yourself?" I heard Moon growl from the edge of my pillow as he shifted around.
"Well excuse me your highness." I tried to snap but I was still sulking.
"You're excused."
I sighed quietly. Seriously how can I be thinking about my non-existent love life at a time like this?
I snuggled under my covers and closed my eyes when it became apparent that no answers were coming to me this morning. It was time to nap and try again this evening.
I must have fallen asleep because I opened my eyes and stared blearily at my door from where I could hear the house phone ringing. We had an ancient, onyx colored; rotary phone out in the hall way just below mine and that thing could wake the queen of England when it rang. I scowled and pulled the covers over my head, waiting for one of the males of the household to pick it up.
But it rang.
And rang.
And rang.
And rang some more.
Before finally it stopped. I felt victorious. I had managed to wait it out and still feel tired enough to go back to sleep. I lay for five blissful seconds before the ringing started up again. This meant that whoever was calling had the phone number on speed dial, and that speed dial was speedy. There were only a few people who could possibly care enough to keep that phone on speed dial.
So that meant I had to haul my butt up off my bed and hurry to the door; veering slightly off course as I went. It wasn't a good idea to sleep during the day, because you always feel half dead when you try to get back up. Never the less I opened the door, walked down the stairs, nearly tripping because my feet kept sticking to the wood. Finally throwing myself to the small table with the phone shrieking to the top of its lungs and picked it up off the receiver.
"Yahmmello?" I asked intelligently as I steadied myself against the stand with my elbow.
"DAPHNE DWYER." Screamed a feminine voice from the other end of the line.
"MJ?" I questioned though you can't mistaken her voice if you tried.
"Yeah, it's MJ! Your friend from school? The one who spent the night tossing and turning in her bed wondering if you were ever going to call and tell her that you're okay!?" her voice snipped at me.
I forgot to call MJ. The last she saw me was when the door collapsed. Oh my god "I am so sorry." I said, sobering right up.
"You're darn right you're sorry! Now…" I could hear a pen clicking in the background. "Tell me everything that happened starting right when the cafeteria doors collapsed…"
Oh no this MJ's interviewing tone…
"MJ I don't think I'm up for an interview."
"Who said it was an interview?" MJ asked innocently.
"Your pen and the fact that your voice lowered an octave." I responded. I'm gonna have to change the subject. I didn't know what all I could say to MJ, and it felt morally wrong to lie to her so soon after asking for her forgiveness.
"You're the only one who can tell what was going on over there! Tell me what the heroes were like, what was Spider-man like?"
"Uh yeah he was a cool guy." I said and my head nodded as if it were agreeing with my sub conscious that I was indeed lame.
"… I will resist reaching through the phone to smack you with my pillow." Mj said and I had to laugh.
"There's not much to say it's not like I got to sit down and swap jokes about the Trapster with him, I was kinda running for my life."
MJ sighed "Sorry, it's just the bugle has been really hard on him about the whole thing and I thought I write a column for him to help."
Gah. I cringed at the sincerity in her voice.
"But still you should have called I was really worried." She continued on
"I know Hon, I'm sorry I was just really tired." I said honestly with the 'bad friend' guilt eating away at my stomach.
"How are you and Harry?" I asked trying to direct the conversation away from myself.
"We're fine, we got out okay and his dad took us away. Pretty uneventful." She sighed
"Oh how unfortunate." I said and relaxed myself against the stand now that I felt I was in the safe MJ zone again.
"Well you must be okay with your sarcasm up and running." She replied and I laughed again.
"That reminds me, Harry and I weren't the only ones worried. You know those kids that were eating with us? They kept messaging about you; in fact I just got off the phone with Ava."
I snapped to attention again like solider on role call.
"Say what?"
"Ava. We were talking this morning about yesterday. She said that they ran for the hallways as soon as the wall came down thinking we were right behind them."
I'll bet she did. Ava must be Tiger girl, I was definitely not ratting on that chick. She took out Trapster in under ten seconds. Imagine what she could do to my sorry witchy butt.
"No kidding? They must be fast…." I said
"Yeah but anyway she was asking about you so I just went ahead and gave her the shop's number."
Wut?
"You did what?!" I snapped
"What? It's just Ava and it's the shop's number she could have looked it up!" MJ protested
"Ohmygod." I grumbled and slammed my palm to my face.
Perfect. She wanted my number. Why did she want my number? Are we allowed to talk to each other? Isn't there a code or something? What did I get myself into?
"MJ, I'll call you back." I said and stood up from the stand.
"Wait no, you're acting weird! What's going on? I swear this is Peter all over again…" She mumbled
"It's nothing just…" I shook my brain for an excuse to fall out. "…My uncles don't like it when I use the shop's phone for all my 'personal' calls." I said trying to sound dramatic and silly to make up for how weak the lie was.
"How many times have I told you that you need to get a cellphone?" MJ said though I'm not quite sure if she bought the fib. Probably a good thing, she wasn't going to get anywhere in the journalist world if she couldn't even see through my lies.
"Yes dearest I will eventually. Until then I'm just gonna hold out with smoke signals." I joked lightly and quickly told her that I'd call her tonight or tomorrow before smacking the phone back down on the receiver.
"Snap." I hissed to myself and tried to think of a reason why the others would be checking in on me. What should I do? Should I wait for the call? Should I even take the call?
I was debating back and forth as I was hunched over the phone stand with my chin in my hand. I felt like I was the thinker statue, it was truly absurd how much time I spent consulting myself. I mean I really wasn't the best person to go to for advice…
Inner turmoil was rudely interrupted by the phone screeching in my ear again. I lean away from it as if it had suddenly become contagious in some manner. It rang again and I could feel the sweat breaking out over my brow from the pressure.
To take or to not to take highly suspicious phone call…
I picked it up gingerly and slowly brought it to my ear. "He-hello?"
"Daphne? This is Ava from school." Came a voice from the other end, it was indeed Ava Ayala, and it was indeed a serious problem. I bit my lower lip before opening my mouth
"Ava! What a surprise!"
I needed smacked.
"Yeah I wanted to call because we didn't really get a chance to talk yesterday." She said.
I stood quiet for a second. Does she know that I know who she is? Is she talking about the chat at lunch or before I got dragged off by Coulson?
"Well it is kinda hard to get to know each other when you're running crazed villains." I replied with what I thought was a safe enough answer.
She chuckled "its okay you know, the line is secure and Luke already told us that you know who we are."
"Line secure? Mc Shades?" I questioned and pulled back to look at my 'secure' phone.
"Mc Shades?" I could hear Ava ask with smile in her tone as I put the receiver back to my ear.
"Mc Shades? What kind of name is that?" Came another familiar voice, aka Luke, in the background. I could feel a blush coming on from 'slip of the tongue', and also that I had two opponents now instead of one. I felt ambushed.
"Yeah there you go! Mc Shades, definitely more original than 'Power Man.'" I swear Sam said somewhere in the distance.
It was the three musketeers. I tried to cover my face with my arm as I wondered if Danny was there too. Just. Perfect.
"Do you guys just…hang out all the time?" I asked
"It's not by choice trust me." Ava deadpanned.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Sam demanded.
"Exactly what it sounded like." Ava replied without missing a beat.
A smile worked onto my face. I don't know why the banter was almost a comfort to me.
"Who's all there?" I questioned, actually feeling a little more light hearted.
"Luke, Sam, Danny was here but he left when I was getting ready to call you."
And just like that I was shot down. He left when they were going to call me? Maybe he read Coulson's file on me… assuming there is a file... Maybe it was just a sheet of paper with FAIL written below my name.
"The web head is always out doing something else but you'll see him plenty later." Ava continued
"I will?" I asked, blinking in confusion.
"Well that is if you accept the offer. Fury told us you haven't decided yet."
How much gossip goes around in the big metal space ship of Kevlar vests?
"Listen Ava..." I said and started to twirl the cord to the phone nervously around my finger. I wanted to tell her what was bothering me but really who wants to admit that they're scared of being a hero? Who wants to admit that they don't think they're good enough to do the right thing?
"About the offer – I'm not that- I mean it's a really big decision…" I rambled
"It is a big decision, life altering actually." She replied seriously and it made me cringe. How freaking comforting.
"Sounds like somebody is getting cold feet." Sam remarked. I could hear Ava pulling away from the phone to threaten him "If you don't shut up I swear to-"
I looked down at my feet and let her paint a disturbing image for Tinks. I curled my toes and straightened them back out over the floor. They were kinda cold…and sticky…
Definitely not 'saving the world' feet.
"Hey Juliet!"
I turned my head to see Moon standing at the top of the staircase.
"Your Romeo has been knocking on the window pane for the past three minutes. He woke me straight out of a sound sleep. You need to tell your suitors that we only do cheesy romance scenes on Tuesdays and Thursdays." He mowed and leaned back on his haunches.
"What the heck are you talking about?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"What?" Ava said
"Nothing I'm talking to my cat." I responded and turned back to Moon. "Your cat?" I heard her repeat as I pulled the phone away
"Moon, what are you talking about?" I demanded loudly, this interrupting thing is getting on my nerves.
"Your prince has been banging on the window trying to get your attention. He's probably here to deliver a love letter or whatever weird courting rituals you humans have." He drawled lazily and looked to where my room was.
I stared at the fuzz ball. Prince? What the hell?
"I'm going to have to call you back." I said into the phone.
"What's going on?" Ava wanted to know
"I don't know, the cat says there's someone outside." I tried to explain.
"Here comes the dragon. Fight little prince, fight!" Moon cheered without much enthusiasm but it was enough to worry me.
"Okay I'll call you back!" I said and slammed the phone down to run up the stairs. When I reached the top, low and behold, through the open door I could see to my window where there was indeed a boy fighting for his life against my uncle's bald headed crow. The boy happened to have really nice arms.
"Havoc!" I screeched and rushed over to the window to pull it up. I batted at the crow in Danny's hair.
"Havoc, off you stupid bird, he's not a threat! Go away!" I continued to yell at the winged monstrosity while Moon cackled behind me; eventually though the crow conceded and with one last angry caw, flew off down to the window where uncle Maverick's lab was.
We sighed with relief. "What an unpleasant bird." Danny stated and tried to pull his hair out of his face. I watched in disbelief. Danny Rand was on my fire escape, it was amazing how his hair was an utter mess and yet he still looked like sunshine on a cloudy day.
He finally settled for holding back his hair with a hand on top of his head and grinned at me. I found myself grinning back stupidly before the logical side of my brain gave me a kick.
"What are you doing here?" I asked with a blink.
"Visiting you." He replied simply, like it was something he did every other day.
"I was wondering if we could talk?" He added and let his hand drop. His hair fell back into his face and I could help but snort and slap a hand over my mouth.
Come on, get it together Dwyer.
I looked behind myself, Moon was gone thankfully but it probably wasn't a good idea to let him into the room. Knowing Havoc he's probably going to blab to uncle Maverick soon and it won't be long until he comes up to investigate and having a teenage boy here probably will make things awkward.
"Uh, is it okay if we go on the roof?" I asked. He nodded "Sure." And started up.
I pulled back and glanced around my room. "Okay, okay, right…" I muttered as I snatched up a pen with a note book and scribbled "Went for some fresh air, chill, sorry I smacked your bird." then looked down at myself almost in horror. I was in my old pajama pants and an owl tee shirt.
"Shizzle sticks." I cursed and grabbed my jacket off the bed post, yanked on my boots and grabbed my earrings off the desk.
I pulled myself up onto the roof and zipped up my jacket when a gust of wind blew by. Dang it's getting cold fast this year…
I raised my head up to look at Danny who stood with his hands in his pockets, wearing a tee shirt like yesterday, looking completely at ease. Of course. He caught my gaze and smiled again, I could only stare back into gorgeous green orbs for seconds before looking away feeling a little flustered.
"So, what's up?" I asked trying to act all nonchalant. I totally had secret meetings with cute guys on my roof in my pajamas all the time.
He pulled his hands out of his pockets and lowered himself down to sit at the edge.
"How are you feeling?" He asked. The question threw me off guard because it seemed so simple.
"How I'm feeling?" I repeated
He looked up at me, his face entirely sincere. "Yes, how are you feeling?"
A couple seconds ticked by and I realized this wasn't a small talk question. He was legitimately asking how I felt. He wasn't talking over me, shoving information into my hands or trying to pull a decision from me. I think he was probably the first person in the past thirty some hours that actually wanted to know what I was thinking straight up front.
"That's actually really sweet." I felt like giggling to myself but I had a feeling the timing was off.
"Too be completely honest?" I began and moved to sit on the edge as well. Keeping a good amount of distance, mind you.
"I'm stressed out and really over whelmed." I confessed, letting out a huff as I did like I was letting out a little of the frustration that way.
"I really don't know what I'm doing and it's getting to me."
"You don't know what you're doing?" he repeated and I nodded
"I don't know what I'm doing about Fury, this super hero business, my powers, none of it." I said and reached up to unhook my hat earring and held it in my hands. Danny was quiet; I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He was staring out over the other buildings with a somewhat thoughtful expression.
"Maybe you should be asking yourself 'what do I want to be doing'." He said at last.
I furrowed my eyebrows and turned my head towards the buildings as well.
What do I want to be doing? It was a good question. A question I don't think I ever really asked myself. Before this all I had to do was help maintain the shop, avoid dying in an unfortunate experiment and… well just staying under the radar I suppose.
I felt dejected but I could see the problem. I had no aspirations.
I dropped my eyes to my hands; my little hat was sitting between my palms. I took it and turned it over a few times out of habit. I could remember the first day I got it. Casper gave it to me with a special kind of smile on his face; it was a fond smile, used when he was truly happy or proud of something.
"Your first tool of the trade, Daphne." He said and fitted it onto my head. I remembered grasping the brim between my fingers and staring up at it in wonder. It was my first 'magical' item; I felt like there were so many possibilities of what I could do with it that I almost jumped up and down from the excitement.
Over the years though it kinda lost that 'enchantment' to me. I knew there was only so much that I could do, and that this hat was only more of a conductor of power than a source. If you don't have great power then there's only so much a hat can do.
I stared at the tiny object.
"Do you like it?" I heard Danny ask. I was confused when I looked over at him.
"What? My hat?"
He nodded.
"Well yeah of course I do." I responded with blink, it was a pretty obvious answer.
"And you like magic?" He further questioned. I couldn't help but chuckle "Yeah magic is pretty cool if you think about it."
He smiled at me, making me curl my toes in my boots, and then tossed his head back to look at the city again.
"When I saw you preforming that spell, or spells, correct me if I'm wrong but… When you were standing there with your arm outstretched… you looked confident, fierce."
I burst out laughing that time "I sure didn't feel like it!" before slapping a hand over my mouth and snapping my head to Danny in horror but he was still smiling.
"That's what you looked like." He insisted and I shrugged.
"It was just a few little repair spells."
"They didn't look little to me. You have raw potential. I think if you set out to harness that, you could be capable of a lot more than you think."
I stopped to think about that. I'll admit it certainly sparked and interest with me and I felt more aware of the tiny weight in my hands. It felt arrogant to think it but maybe he was right, I always kept my powers low key because that's how I was raised but… maybe…
"I just don't think I'm a superhero, super spy thing." I confessed suddenly.
"You're not."
I whirled my head around to him in shock at the bluntness of his answer, but he continued before I could get snarky.
"Not right now anyways. But when you cast those spells, you looked like you could be."
I couldn't find a way to reply to him before he stood up and stretched his arms over his head. I leaned away, watching the golden sunlight highlight his hair and he said
"I better go, have a pleasant day Daphne Dwyer." He said kindly before literally bounding off my roof. No he seriously jumped off my roof, onto the one across from us and then went onto the next and the next without so much effort. I wondered if words like stamina existed in his life.
Being alone again I found myself more or less torn between my decisions. If I could be a hero, is that a good enough reason to be one?
… Is it a good enough reason to try?
_ _ _ _
"ABSOLUTELY NOT." A voice bellowed from the kitchen later on that evening. I was leaned all the way back in my chair from Uncle Casper's red face on the other side of the table. I cut my eyes sideways to Uncle Maverick who was watching me with hard eyes, his chin placed on his folded hands that helped his head stay propped up on his elbows. They looked like bad cop and 'I'll smite you where you stand' cop.
Back to Uncle Casper who finally sat back down and smoothed back his curls after letting his eyes fall shut. He took a deep breath to compose himself. I took the time to pull myself upright, I knew this was going to be a battle, I can't show too much weakness even I planned to get anywhere in this.
Time to pull on the big girl tights.
"Why not? It could be the right thing to do!" I said.
"You're only saying that because you think it's what you should do." Uncle Maverick spoke finally with a low tone. "There is no law requiring you to go through with this."
"I know there's no law 'requiring' me to go ahead and do the right thing for others, but I want to. That's what good people do." I replied curtly.
"Daphne you have to understand that this isn't just some simple matter of doing what's right or wrong. In fact doing the right thing was never simple in the first place." Uncle Casper said opening his eyes and looking directly into my own.
He put his hand down on the table and tapped his fingers forcefully on its surface as he spoke, emphasizing his words. "There's no telling what these people will have you do. Their minds might not always be in the right place. There may come a time when they will have you do things that won't be helping others."
I reluctantly glanced away to a paint-chipped corner of our kitchen table to avoid his gaze. He was probably right.
"…I saw what they did that day. They were using their strengths, their powers, their very wills to protect those kids and to fight off those…people, and it sure looked like right to me." I muttered. Uncle Casper heaved a sigh.
"Are you prepared for that?"
I glanced up "What?"
Uncle Maverick was glaring at me in a way I felt pinned to my chair.
"Are you prepared to do just that? To go rushing in, fighting off enemies and risking not only yourself but others as well?"
I felt a rage boil in the pit of my stomach. It pissed me off that I had finally made up my mind and they were shooting down my confidence and bringing up my one main doubt in myself and using it against me. In hindsight it was a pretty stupid reason to be upset but that didn't matter.
"I don't know, maybe not, but I am so sick and tired of just doing this!" I yelled at them letting my frustration get the better of me. I pressed my palms to the sides of my head and closed my eyes trying to find the words to how I felt.
"I don't… I don't want to constantly be 'under the lines'. I don't want to always be hiding from everything and avoiding the world like we have been." I explained slowly. "I want to do magic, I want to connect, and I have a chance to do that. I have a chance to be who I am and have something good come out of it for once…"
Neither of them said a word. It was dead quiet in the room, in the whole house it seemed.
"Look…maybe you guys are right, you probably are right but… just let me live knowing that I at least tried?"
I looked into both their faces. Uncle Casper's face was gloomed over and Uncle Maverick had his hands in tight fists in front of him.
"Please?" I begged.
They moved their heads in sync to look at each other silently as I sat in suspense.
"She's just like him." I heard uncle Casper whisper to Maverick who glared harshly "Don't you dare…"
I didn't ask. I wanted to know who they were talking about but I had to pick and choose my battles, and right now I was fighting for shield. But with hope that was sinking lower in my stomach the longer I waited.
Casper ran tired hands down a pained face and Maverick heaved a long heavy sigh before forcing himself to speak.
"Fine. You can try."
I was in disbelief. No way, they're actually letting me go…
"But Daphne, we warned you." He stated with a clear voice and I nodded my head in agreement. Even though I really had no idea what they were trying to warn me of.
I LIVE.
There's no excuse for my absence, all I have to say is that school sucks (as you all know) and I'm not ready for college and this adult BS that comes with it. With that said I'm wishing all of you luck in the new school year :) hang in there guys! Thank you again for all your beautiful reviews and all of your follows, it does keep me going more than you think!
And dude I have so much catching up to do with the show. (Also I apologize if Danny seemed out of character, I swear I'll get better at him)
I've been lazy with everything I am very sorry! I hope each one of you is having a good day and if not then I hope this helped some in making it better :) see you all again soon hopefully!