Chapter 19

Jane had never heard two grown Orsimer argue before, and decided it was a terrible sound and sight to see. It started the morning after their trip to Bleak Fall Barrows; Nazgurat had been itching to speak his mind to Bo, and had sat down with him at the table to convince him to go to the Greybeards.

"This will bring our people great honor," he had insisted. "People disgust an Orsimer Dragonborn now, oh but Bo just wait until you've saved their sorry hides; all of them."

Bo had shaken his head, expressing his doubts. He didn't feel like he could do what would be asked of him, that he would surely fail and his people would be even more hated. After a while of tense arguing the older Orc had become frustrated with the young one.

"Don't be a coward," he snarled quietly, glaring at him with narrowed red eyes. "You will not be doing it alone."

"Don't talk to me like you understand," Bo had replied heatedly, returning the glare.

"What is there to understand?" Nazgurat cried, throwing his arms up. He was fed up with the kids whining and sniveling at having to do something important, something that would restore his people's pride, bring them back to glory.

"You do not know what it is like to have this… this… this curse! I do not desire it!" Bo stood up and moved away from the bench, his hands bunched into fists at his side. Nazgurat stood up as well and got very close to Bo, jabbing his finger into the Orc's chest.

"It is not up to you to decide your destiny you ungrateful bastard! You've been given the best opportunity, if I were you I would not hide away in some hole crying for my mommy!"

"Then YOU be the Dragonborn!" Bo cried, shoving the older Orc back. Nazgurat snarled and swung his arm, smacking Bo over the head.

"STOP!" Jane cried, rushing down the stairs to break the two up. She grabbed onto Bo's raised arm to stop him from going after Nazgurat.

"Get off me, woman!" Bo snarled at her, ripping his arm from her grasp and smacking her in the process. Jane gasped, stumbling backwards and clutching her face. He had hit her pretty hard, and after realizing what had happened, Bo's scowl dropped into a look of horror.

"Jane…" he whispered, stepping towards her.

"No!" Jane stepped out of his reach and glared at the two Orcs. "Both of you are being complete assholes! Grow up!"

Jane spun around and ran back up the stairs, trying not to cry as her cheek burned. She ran into Lynne's bedroom and collapsed onto the bed, screaming into one of the pillows. Lynne sighed, fed up at the males downstairs, and rubbed Jane's back.

"They're male," Lynne snorted. "And more so Orcs. They have no control over their emotions."

Jane sat back up, wiping at her tears, and Lynne saw her cheek, which was a bright and angry red blotch on her pale face.

"What happened?" She cried.

"B-Bo hit me, by accident."

"He what? Oh that Orc is dead."

"Lynne no!" Jane grabbed the Nord's tunic and pulled her back down. "He didn't mean to, I'm not…that's not why I'm upset."

"What else did he do?"

"It's not what he did, it's the way he looked at me. I never thought he would ever look at me with such fury, it frightened me."

"Oh Jane," Lynne pulled the girl close, squeezing her gently. She sighed, "Surely it was not directed at you."

"I-I know. I just hate how angry this Dragonborn mess makes him. I was the one who persuaded him to come here."

"You really care about him," Lynne replied, stroking Jane's hair. "He will see reason, just give him time. With or without your persuasion it would have caught up with him eventually."

Jane sat back and nodded, rubbing her eyes. Lynne stood up and went downstairs to find the men gone, and wondered where they had went. A few minutes later Ahmon came from outside, greeting her.

"Where are Nazgurat and Bo?" Lynne asked.

"Cooling off. I made them go for a walk…not with each other of course."

They ate their evening meals in separate rooms. Jane didn't necessarily want to be angry with Bo, but she felt he deserved it just a wee bit. Maybe then he would listen to her, and all would be well.

Sometime in the evening Bo quietly opened the door to their bedroom and peeked inside. Jane lay on the bed with a book propped up on her chest, her face hidden from view. When he shut the door behind him she lowered the book, looking over at him. Bo rubbed his neck nervously, and then slowly shuffled towards her. He knelt down on the bed and crawled forward, lowering his head. He touched his forehead to the blanket and Jane watched him curiously.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Groveling," he replied, his voice muffled. Jane raised an eyebrow, unseen by the bowed Orc. She sighed.

"Get up," she said, "look at me."

Bo sat up and looked at her, wincing when she frowned and narrowed her eyes.

"I'm only going to tell you once more, and you better damn well listen to me Bo." Jane started, putting the book down. Bo nodded, swallowing nervously, and resisted looking away from her angry stare.

Jane had to admit a small part of her enjoyed seeing him so nervous; he was practically sweating from her gaze. A ripple of thrill ran up her spine, she really enjoyed it.

"The Greybeards will tell you whether you are the Dragonborn or not, only they can tell you that. You will go to High Hrothgar and you will do so without one complaint. As to what we do after… well we'll burn that bridge when we get to it. Am I clear?"

"Yes," he whispered, his shoulders slumping. He really didn't like angry Jane.

"Good, now, what is it you wanted to say?"

"Is there any chance… you will forgive me?" Bo asked.

"Maybe, on one condition."

"Anything," he replied eagerly.

"I will forgive you if you kiss me."

Bo tensed. He looked back down at his hands, shivering slightly. Oh yes, he dreamt about kissing Jane many times, trying to imagine what her thin soft lips would feel like on his. He had not thought for one moment that Jane wanted him to kiss her.

"Why?" he asked.

Jane frowned. "Why do you think? Have I not made it clear to you?"

"I-I don't under-"

"Oh Bo! Gods," Jane sat back and covered her face with her hands, sighing angrily. "You're so oblivious to what is right before your very eyes!" She looked back up at him, clearly upset, and Bo dumbly opened and closed his mouth, trying to think of something to say.

Jane reached out and pulled his arm towards him, forcing him to get closer. Her grey blue eyes were the color of steel and she stared at him with such intensity it took his breath away.

"How could you think that I would not like you, when I have slept with you?" She whispered, reaching up to stroke his cheek. Bo swallowed again, his thoughts a jumbled mess inside his simple head, as a ripple of need spread through him.

"Allowed you to touch me, to hold me close."

"I did not… I do not… I don't know." He stuttered, feeling a sudden urge to flee. His emotions were on overdrive, he couldn't handle t.

Jane sighed, releasing her grip on the Orsimer, who looked like he was about to have a mental break down. She felt bad pressuring him, but she so desperately wanted to confess her feelings.

Not yet, she told herself, watching as Bo breathed quick short breaths, almost hyperventilating. I'll kill the poor guy if I throw myself at him.

"Bo…" Jane kept her hands to herself. "Have you ever been with a woman?"

"In what way?" He asked gruffly, wiping at his sweaty forehead. Jane was confused.

Surely he…

"In any way."

Bo was silent; he stared down at his hands, remembering all the times Jane had held them with her own warm, pale hands.

"You are the only woman I have ever cared about, and been with. In any way." He replied, turning his face away in shame. Now that she knew he was no lover, Jane must not want him anymore, he could never please her.

"Oh Bo," Jane whispered softly. She almost reached out take his hand and then changed her mind, keeping it in her lap. "If I would have known that…I wouldn't have… I mean…" Her voice trailed off, and she struggled to speak.

"What about you?" Bo turned towards her, lifting his eyes to meet hers.

"Men? You are… it is the same. I have never been with a man in any way." Jane tucked her knees up, looking away. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Bo was shocked, he had assumed she had had lovers in the past, the way she was so comfortable around him, quick to touch him, hold him.

"Then… we are both new…to this."

"Do you like me?" Jane blurted out.

Bo shifted on the bed so he now faced her completely.

"Yes."

"Then, why do you resist everything?"

"I don't honestly know."

Jane sighed; chewing her lip thoughtfully, and then took a deep breath.

"We have established that we both like each other. I thought I had made that clear with how close we have been, but I understand now. Can we… try? Can you look past race and skin colour, and whatever it else that it holding you back, and just try?"

"I think… yes, I think I can do that."

Jane reached over and took his hand, smiling at him.

"We can take things really slow, okay Bo? I'm no expert either, so don't worry."

"Okay," Bo nodded, running his thumb along her smooth skin. "Slow."

Jane smiled again, and then bit her lip.

"You don't have to kiss me, I don't think we're ready yet. I forgive you for hitting me. I know you didn't do it on purpose."

"I feel so horrible," Bo looked down at their hands, so strikingly different, struggling to voice his thoughts. "I don't like knowing I can hurt you, I don't ever want to hurt you, but I'm afraid I will."

"You can't if I won't let you," Jane joked, trying to lighten the mood, which didn't work.

"Hey," Jane tipped his chin up. "Being aware that you could hurt me, and not wanting to, means a lot to me. I can just as easily hurt you, so lets not think about that okay? Do not dwell."

"Okay," he whispered, and reached up to stroke Jane's cheek where he had hit her, biting back the urge to inwardly punish himself. He would listen to Jane. She liked him, and he couldn't deny it anymore that she wanted to be with him. Now all he had to do was accept it, for if he continued to hold back one day she would stop trying. And he would loose her forever.

She likes me, he repeated in his mind. She likes me. Accept it.