The Honeymoon Phase

Shem and I walked hand in hand as we walked. It had been three weeks we got married. As we walked I kept replaying the events of our wedding night in my head.

"Mhmm." I moaned while Shem kissed my neck.

We had just been married and were now ready to lie together for the first time. I could tell Shem was excited. We both knew that I could not bear children but we weren't ready for a baby yet. We knew we would have to talk about that eventually. Maybe in a few years we could find a woman for Shem to have a child with, and we could raise it together and let the woman be saved on the ark.

"Are you ready Ila?" Shem asked me.

I nodded but as soon as he started to inch into me, father had told him to take it slowly the first time, I felt an intense pain in my womb. I screamed out and Shem stopped immediately. I was sobbing and panicked, Shem called for mother.

"What is it?" she asked running in.

"I don't know!" Shem replied hysterically.

"Mother it hurts! I'm bleeding!" I cried, taking in the blood dripping between my legs.

"Shem go get father and tell him to bring some cloths and some warm water. I need you to bring me some healing herbs." Mother instructed him, "Ila you will be alright. You are not fully healed inside and that is why it hurts and you are bleeding."

I continued to cry while she placed blankets and clothing under my lower back to lift my lower half up. Father came in with the cloth and water and once he gave them to mother, he left to give us privacy. She dipped a cloth in some warm water and began to clean me up. As soon as Shem came in with the herbs, he handed them to her and came over to me and took my hand.

"I am sorry Ila, it is all my fault." He said to me.

"You didn't know." I replied.

I leaned into Shem and closed my eyes as mother continued to clean me.

"Stop thinking about it Ila." Shem said.

I looked over at my husband and saw him looking softly at me. He put his arm around me and kissed my forehead.

"I am sorry." I mumbled.

"Why are you sorry Ila? You did nothing wrong." He said. "So we cannot lie together, why should that matter? Our marriage is based on love and trust; we do not need a physical relationship to be happy."

I pressed my face into his chest as I silently cried. Shem had been so supportive in the past few weeks; as had Mother. I confided in her, telling her that I felt like less of a woman, not being able to lie with Shem, or give him children. She told me that I needed to stop punishing myself; it was not my fault but those savage men who tried to kill me.

"You know, Mother told me that sometimes a wife gives her husband a mistress when she cannot give him children." I told him.

"I do not want anyone but you." He said, kissing me.