A/N: I do not own D. Gray Man or any of its characters all rights go to Katsura Hoshino. Besides that, time skip to when Allen is in the black order prison. Probably the last time skip. No guarantees.
Everyone wants to be perfect, but when perfection loses its meaning, how far will you go? What would you give up to be perfect?
-Ellen Hopkins, Perfect
Pain. Breathe in, breathe out. Pain. Breathe in, breathe out. The cycle had become ingrained into Allen's mind. The constant lashings of Leverrier had become part of everyday life now. His reiterated questions floated around Allen's mind. Questions he had no inclination to answer. Why had he saved Kanda and Alma? Because they needed their final moments together. How long did he plan on betraying them for the Earl? Never had he betrayed the order, they betrayed him. By enslaving him casting him out slowly after they found out he was the 14th's host. Only Lenalee and Lavi had really stayed by his side. Cross was presumed dead. Even Crowley looked at him with a hint of suspicion now.
Pain. Question. Breathe. Pain again. A vicious cycle of physical and mental abuse as he was chained to a wall forced to endure unjustifiable punishment. Only when the pain stopped, when Leverrier's arm got tired and his voice gave out would Allen find another sliver of hope. Only for it to be taken away as he was dragged off to be thrashed again the next day. The questions would keep coming, the whip would keep landing, and Allen would keep quiet.
Pain. Question. Breathe. Sometimes before they leave they would talk to each other. Ask each other if they thought he would give in anytime soon. If he would finally give in. But he wouldn't, not until he dies would they be satisfied. The whip no longer hurt, it was a natural occurrence now, expected. In the corner of his mind Allen realized that the pain and questions stopped. The chains removed from his wrists as he was dragged along the cold stone floor back to his cell. They would offer him food and he would reject it by not eating. He would not be given the truth serum he knew was in it. Allen would fall asleep sometime later, comfortably numb.
He would awake again to them dragging him back to the interrogation room. Allen would smile to himself as he knew all the questions by heart, he knew exactly when each blow would land, and he had timed how long each session would be. Five hours thirty-four minutes and twelve seconds, with ten minute breaks every thirty minutes. But today was different, today he woke up in his cell. Tim lie sleeping restrained by the magic seals. It seemed that they would give him a day to heal the wounds. That means it's been a week, for every Sunday they would let him heal the cuts only to make new ones the following Monday. Allen smirked 'And some people think waking up is bad on a Monday.'
Nea stayed quiet. He would not emerge in this time or place for he knew they would kill Allen on the spot if he did. He wanted to help but the seals on the innocence arm also sealed him away, furthering his inability to take over. Allen had accepted Nea as a part of him, to him it was one more thing to make him stronger, the perfect protector of humanity. Finding this ironic as he was continuously tortured by humans. Maybe the Noah are on to something about eradicating them, but immediately Allen shook that from his mind. He knew this was just their fear of the unknown. A natural human trait. Whatever they don't understand they destroy or shun. It was in their nature.
Footsteps approached the cell. A guard most likely Allen didn't need to look as they were the only ones allowed down here. "Look at you. How far you have fallen. Allen Walker the one man who fought the earl and lived, saved the lives of his whole squad by controlling the ark, and the one who found Marshall Cross. Now you sit here in your own filth starving yourself in hopes it will save you. Pathetic. You have a visitor. Enjoy it while it lasts." His footsteps faded down the hallway as a new pair of footsteps came up to the cell. Lighter steps a woman's perhaps. They stopped in front of his cell.
A gasp of what seemed like shock. A guard shocked by his appearance maybe they were new. That must be it. "Al- len." That voice as pretty as the day he first heard it but he didn't react he recognized it but he was numb now his mind far away. Allen screamed at himself on the inside yelling at him to look up but his body wouldn't respond the wall had been put up. The world had no meaning to him now. He was safe behind his wall. Perfect beautiful isolation here behind his wall.
Lenalee couldn't stop her tears at the sight of Allen. Beaten, bloodied, broken. She had thought his light would never fade. Thought it was as bright as the sun, unquenchable. She walked up to him falling to her knees in front of him. The tears wouldn't stop coming. "Allen." No response. "Allen it's me Lenalee." No response. "Please Allen." The tears falling harder as she continued to look on at her Allen, her beloved Allen. She took his uncursed hand, running her thumbs across his knuckles. No response. "Allen please. Just look at me." She hung her head the tears she had tried so hard to keep back falling into her lap. "Allen … I love you. Please don't go." She felt him move her head bolting up to look at him. She shouldn't have.
His eyes, his beautiful grey eyes … were empty. He looked at her as if a mile away. Not a drop of expression on his face. Blank. The Allen she knew was nowhere to be seen. His light stripped from him. A dead sun. She stood up, bringing her hand to her mouth in horror, taking a step back. "I'm so sorry Allen." Were the last things she said as she rushed through the door tears falling continuously as she ran as far away as she could.
Allen screamed and screamed at himself 'No Lenalee come back! Please! Please come back!' But his body wouldn't respond his words would never come out. All he could do was watch from the inside of his madness. He screamed and screamed but nothing would come of it his body wouldn't move. For hours he would scream at everything about anything but his body would never move his voice would go unheard. He screamed until he couldn't anymore, breaking down in tears as he realized the futility. 'Lenalee … Come back. Please'
Lenalee sat in her room the door locked and cried she couldn't stop. She had went to Komui after Allen begging him to please let Allen go that she would do anything. But he sadly said "It's beyond my control Lenalee. As much as I would love to have him free I no longer have the authority. The orders are from the Pope himself, Allen Walker must not go free." The words pained him he hated saying them as this wasn't the first time he was asked to let him go. The science division, Lavi, the Asian branch, Miranda, all continuously asked him and he would repeat those words. But this time it hurt even more for after every word he saw his little sister shatter just a little more. Lenalee burst out of the room and locked herself in hers. Which brings her to now. Crying. And endless stream of tears.
A knock on her door stopped them briefly "Lenalee it's me, your brother, please let me in." She didn't want to but she got up, unlocked the door for him, and sat back down. He walked in and gently closed the door behind him. Sitting next to her and putting his arm around her, holding her close. She broke down crying again. He sighed knowing what he was going to say next may hurt her more. "Listen Lenalee, maybe, you should go on a mission. A new one just came up and I think it would be best if you went. I think it would take your mind off Allen. At least for a little while." She looked at him with tear stained eyes "A mission?" She thought of it for a second maybe Komui was right, maybe it would take her mind off Allen, like he said at least for a little while. "Alright." She said as she clung closer to him. 'Please , Allen stay safe while I'm gone'
"You know Allen. Crying never did help anyone before." Allen looked up looking around he spotted a man, a young man with short, unruly dark hair with the noah line of stigmata on his forehead, wearing a dress shirt, vest, a simple cravat, and an overcoat and white gloves. he looked a lot like Tyki but he lacked the mole and his hair was shorter. Assuming by the line of stigmata he was a noah and by him knowing his name this must be Nea. "Nea, so now you show yourself to me. Where are we? Do you know?" Nea helped Allen off the ground and looked around at the surrounding area or lack thereof as it was just a blank grey space. "It seems like the inner reaches of you mind, but I'm no psychiatrist so I'm not exactly sure. Though it would explain why I can appear before you once again." Allen looks around only to the same result as Nea. "What do you want anyway Nea. Trying to take control of my body again."
"Now dear boy why would I do that. We're friends aren't we?" Allen looks back at Nea with an annoyed scowl. "Friends don't try to take over other friends body Nea." Backing away , hands in the air Nea simply states "Now come on you can't hate me for that still, can you? Besides how would you like being dead inside a boy's body for near 17 years." Allen, not amused, continues to look around for anything. "You know you won't find anything I've been here for years and the only way for stuff to appear is through thinking it. For example..." Nea comments as he sits down on what seems like air. "I'm thinking of sitting on a chair and so I am." Allen, confused as to the situation, decides to try as well walking across to Nea he sits as well and finds that it feels as if something is there. Nea smiles "See easy as can be." Leaning forward and putting his elbows on an invisible table. "Now, how is my favorite host for resurrection doing?" Allen stares at him still un-amused by Nea's attempt at small talk but decides to play along. "Oh you know just rotting in a jail cell because somebody tried taking over my body in the middle of a fight. The usual." Now its Nea's turn to frown "You know if I hadn't taken over your body that little stab in your stomach would have killed you. Not that it seems our "holy" friends seem to care about it at all." Leaning back in his chair "Besides it seems that something far more dangerous than a whip is coming our way."
Allen, his interest piqued, asks "And how exactly do you know this?" Nea smirks "When you are tuned with dark matter as much as I am Innocence is like a spotlight in a dark room." Allen's eyes open as Nea mentions Innocence "Oh yes a holder of Innocence is after us but he is no ordinary Innocence user. He is Innocence incarnate. We noah call him Apocryphos and hes in the Order now making his way to us now disguised as priest." At this news Allen bolts up "And what do you want me to do my body won't respond to a damn thing I say or do." Nea holds his hand signaling for Allen to stop "Calm down sweet Allen. An opportunity has arrived for me to be able to take control of you, with your permission of course, and we can bust out of here.
"I won't just let you use my body Nea! You've caused me enough problems just by existing!" Nea calm composure dissipates his patience worn. "Listen up Allen without my help we are as good as dead. Now I hope we can agree that is to neither of our benefit. I can save us with my power but I need you to cooperate. I will give you your body back when we are in a secure location but I NEED you body to do this. Now let me help US." Allen sits back down mulling over Nea's words "When does he come?" Satisfied that Allen is now negotiating "Three hours maybe." Allen sits contemplating "Fine when the moment arrives you have my body for two hours that's it. Get us somewhere safe then retreat into me again. Understood?" Neah crosses his heart with his finger "I swear to give you back your body even though it's useless right now to you."
Three hours later
Link opens Allen's cell to give him the food from Jerry. He sees now everything he's been forced to do has condemned a innocent boy. "Allen." He calls, no response as expected. He sighs steps in and places the curry down. "Allen its food from Jerry you need to eat." Without looking up "Why so you can torture my body more. Because to you people that's all I am a body to be thrown at the enemy." Something was off Allen never talked before but maybe he is now coming out. "Please Allen just eat it we don't want you dead. The black order and I that is." Allen takes the food opens the box chuckling at the message Jerry had written with sauce. Hearing some approaching footsteps Link looks towards the door to see a cardinal there. "Good day to you inspector Link I am a cardinal here to heal Allen's wounds would you let me see them."
Link stands from his crouching position turning to the Cardinal "Very well but could he finish his food he hasn't had anything to eat for three weeks." Irritated now the Cardinal walks to Link "Oh but I must insist." At these words Link's head is taken by the man and tossed out of the room into a wall. Still eating his food Allen chuckles "Apocryphos very nice to meet you again. How long has it been thirty-four years?" Ridding himself of the disguise Apocryphos reveals his true form: a being shining of intense golden light with a green cross implanted in the middle of his chest. "I guess it has … NEA!" Apocryphos charges the boy missing him as he leaps overhead ripping the chains from the wall entangling Apocryphos pulling him closer and kicking him through a wall.
Ripping the seals off his arm Nea lets out a long groan "God damn it's been too long." Going over to Timcanpy he rips the seal from his golem. "Come Tim." Shrinking it's size Tim flies on top of Nea/Allen's head. "Four…teenth?" Looking over at the inspector Nea sighs "Stay down or I'll kill you myself and I'm not as gentle as Apocryphos." Walking out of the cell letting out another groan "Took you two long enough." Link confused by what he's talking about looks around pausing when he sees two other Noah standing in the hall. Road with a confused expression points at Allen "Hey Tyki is that Allen?" Tyki smiles chuckling to himself "Nope it seems Nea has taken over." As Nea was about to respond Apocryphos smashes through the wall pinning him to a wall "IF you are done sightseeing, Tyki help me and Road secure an exit." Grunting against the force of Apocryphos "And put that idiot to sleep."
Taking action Tyki blasts Apocryphos from Nea freeing him from its grasp. Nea reaches over to his left arm and pulls out Allen's sword of exorcism but its different from normal as it emanates dark matter from the blade. Meanwhile road walks to Link "'Nighty night." She says as she puts him to sleep, she than forms a door for an exit. Tyki and Nea charge Apocryphos, dodging Nea's blade it grabs Tyki tossing back down the hall. Angered Nea swings his blade releasing a blast of dark matter in its path. Apocryphos braces for impact as it blasts him back into the far wall. Charging once more together Tyki and Nea sprint towards him. Nea taking Tyki's arm tosses him further ahead. Apocryphos looks up just in time for Tyki to bombard him with dark energy. Tyki quickly gets out of the way to reveal Nea swings his sword enveloped in dark matter releasing a large wave of destruction hurtling towards Apocryphos. It hits with overwhelming force as Apocryphos is launched through the wall and far into the forest.
Standing at the broken wall Tyki and Nea try to spot where it landed but cant seem to find the impact point. "Is he done for?" Tyki asks Nea turns and walks back down the hallway "No, it will take much more than that to kill the guardian of the heart –" Interrupted by the sudden blaring alarms Nea quickly finishes "Let's go." And they both sprint back to Road who was waiting for them pouting "How come you two get all the fun?" Nea shoves them both through the doorway "Shut up and get in." as he too steps through and closes the door.
Emerging in a forest some distance from the black order. The door dissipates behind them leaving them alone but hearing faintly the alarms and announcements of the order branding Allen Walker a traitor. Tyki turns to Nea "So what is the deal, is Allen you now?" Nea shakes his head as he concentrates on the gateways to the ark Allen had placed over time and shuts them. Able to think clearly now he turns back towards the two noah. "Allen agreed to lend me his body for two hours as to fight Apocryphos. I currently have an hour and thirty minutes left. After the allotted time I will give Allen his body back but just a warning the torture the order put him through has made him isolate his mind. In short he's not the same Allen you two knew." Timcanpy emerging from inside Allen's coat puts himself back on Nea's head. "Are you coming back with us Nea?" Nea pets Timcanpy for a little contemplating his answer. "I still hate the Earl and Allen would refuse, however the Noah will be the safest place for him while he recovers. So I guess im stuck with you."
Road makes a doorway to the black ark on those words "So than come with us." Nea looks at her as if he had only just realized her. "We will take my ark to yours, from what I understand yours isn't in too much of good shape is it?" Caught off guard by the question they both stutter trying to come up with an excuse. "Didn't think so as it lacks some major components that only I know of. Primarily my room." He follows up by opening a gateway uttering a single word. "Come." Deciding they had better listen to him they step through to their old home. Coming out through the other side they were a bit surprised it looked just like they left it, every last detail was the same. Turning back to them Nea asks "Where is the black ark?" Road has to think for second as she never really paid much attention as to where the Earl put it after Edo. "That's right it's over the Sahara Desert where no one will find it." Turning away from them again a door appears in front of him "Stay here." Stepping through back into his old room. "Ah brings back memories. Doesn't it Allen." Looking to the mirror he saw what he knew he would see Allen standing there but different as his face was white with two black dots for eyes and a black frown, opposite to what Nea would appear as.
"You have one hour left Nea, make it fast." Allen stated then walked over to the inverted piano. "Always so impatient Allen. Tim if you would please." Tim flies over to the piano and displays the music for Nea. Outside the room Tyki and Road stand waiting for something to happen. Tyki looks at Road who appears seep in thought. "Wondering about Allen?" She jumps a little snapping out of her thoughts but shakes her head. " I'm more worried about Nea and what he will do to Allen and if he'll betray us again. Hey Tyki do you think of Allen as a friend?" The musicians song starts playing and Road can feel the ark moving to the Sahara.
"I don't hate him and now that I know he's family really gives him some points so I guess you could call him a friend. Even if he is a rotten cheater in poker." Road giggles at that last part "Do you really love him that much Road?" She stops her giggling and thinks about it "I guess I do, don't I? But with Nea it makes things harder since he tried to kill me and all. I don't know its complicated." Tyki pulls out a cigarette "Yeah I guess he kinda grows on you." They stood there in silence listening to the sweet melody being played for the rest of the trip. 'He really does grow on you, Sheryl better watch out.'
A/N: Sorry for the late update I was predisposed last weekend and then got hit with mid-terms in school so I've been busy. Your reward is an extra long chapter thanks all who have followed and favorite these past two weeks it brings a smile to my face each time I see one. If you enjoyed a review is much appreciated and I will see you next time you beautiful bastards.