All will be well in the end, Gimli said but I am not so certain. Oh the outcome of the meeting was less terrible than I had initially feared. I thought as did just about everyone there that Gimli was saying it was time for me to sail. The Valar be praised that, that was not the case.

But even so his announcement came as a shock, and I am as yet unable to say what I truly feel about it. Of course I welcome Gimli when he visits but to have him with me all of the time?

The sensible side of my nature tells me that with the increasing frequency and seriousness of the sea longing bouts I need someone to anchor me to Middle Earth and there is no one more capable of doing that than Gimli son of Gloin. Some might think I would be better off retreating to Eryn Lasgalen, but we elves seem incapable of diverting the pain of the call no matter how hard we try while Gimli has shown on this occasion as on many others that not only can bring me back from the brink but can also act as a kind of buffer to the longing. I do not know how he does it but I am grateful for it. My father would do everything possible to help me, I know, but it would avail him of nothing in the end save to make him unhappy and I would not add the burden of my 'condition' to my Adar's many troubles. He I know cannot leave Arda while any of his folk remain. He may never leave, which serves as another reason for me to wish to stay as long as I possibly can. I do not wish to lose both of my fathers in one fell swoop.

But while I know all of this and am grateful, a small part of me fears that with Gimli always at my side my life will be very much more 'controlled' and Gimli has some quite draconian views on what is suitable or appropriate conduct as far as I am concerned. Do I really wish to go back to being supervised and ordered about? I have become accustomed to making my own choices of deciding things for myself.

And look where that has got you! My conscience pricks me once more. How selfish I am being. Were it not for Gimli's care the likelihood is that I would have completely succumbed to the sea longing this time for I had no reserves left to battle it with, and had it not been for Galathil and Saellind bringing me to Aglarond I may well have lost what little reason I still possess.

Gimli is offering me a life line, an opportunity to remain in Middle Earth and here I sit wondering how my life will be affected by his presence? The reality is that my life here on Arda is dependent on my dwarf standing beside me.

Galathil and Saellind obviously agree, for they very much welcomed his announcement, before that they had both pleaded with me to take ship, thinking that they were supporting Gimli's view that it was time for me to sail, if, when Gimli comes to Ithilien they will make a powerful triumvirate especially now that Galathil seems to have joined the growing number of Gimli's supporters. Is that what I fear? That I will no longer be able to manipulate and order them as I have done in the past?

I have treated Galathil and Saellind badly and know it. I have not yet acknowledged the role they played in getting me to safety and I know they fear that I will at some point take action against them for insubordination, but how could I possibly do that? It would be at the least ungrateful and worse than that bullying and arrogant. And should Gimli ever find out I had done so, I would not give a groat for the safety of my rear end.

I had better take time to speak with them and tell them how grateful I am for their care of me on the flight to Aglarond. I recall very little of the journey. Saellind told me that for much of the time I was incoherent and my mind was wandering. I rode before the pair of them having taken a fall when I attempted to ride alone. How I must have frightened them. Galathil said that he has never been so much relieved as when he got his first glimpse of the canal that runs from Edoras to Helms Deep. He told me that he had begun to despair of them getting me to Gimli in time, which shows how desperately ill I must have been. It is only in the last few days that I have recovered sufficiently to actually be able to sit up for part of the day and I am still weak. My legs traitorously refuse to support me so that I have to rely on someone to help me to even walk across a room.
And my mind is still clouded, not as bad as it was but to be unaware for so long, to be unable to remember is a terrible thing. For elves memory is everything. It is what makes us.

I have seen some mortals, who towards the end of their lives have lost their wits and become confused and frightened but I would never have thought that I would suffer similarly. Gimli says I will recover and I have to just be patient. I am more fortunate than many it seems and would do well to remember and acknowledge that instead of repining and whinging and now I am back to how ungrateful I am being to wonder whether I wish for Gimli to come and live in Eryn gîl Ithil.

Of course I wish it, but is that not also selfish of me? All I seem to do is take from Gimli. What do I give him in return save worry and concern? And now he has declared that he is willing to give up his own home and his lordship of the Glittering Caves, to cut himself off from his remaining kin and all because of me. And I sit here thinking he may curtail some of my more outrageous activities with his presence? I deserve to be flogged.

Gimli would sacrifice all he has worked for and all he loves to enable me to remain in Middle Earth. Is that not what I want more than anything, what I almost blurted out when we sat and talked earlier? Here I am being offered the opportunity to stay and fulfil my oath and rather than rejoice I raise objections in my mind over my losing some of my independence. Without Gimli I would likely have no independence at all, no choice but to sail. Will not the fact that he is in Ithilien allow me to perhaps offer him support as he grows older to ensure that his last wishes are carried out properly and he is laid to rest within the Glittering Caves as befits its first and greatest lord?

That thought makes me want to weep anew. How will I live without him by my side?

"Here now Lamb no more tears," Gimli comes back into the main room having seen Greirr and the others out, and no doubt speaking with his nephew over the decisions he has made and ensuring he is really ready to take over Lordship of Aglarond.

"Gimli I cannot ask you to leave your home."

Not what I intended to say, but I feel I have to give him a chance to change his mind. I should have known better of course.

"Ye have not asked it of me. Did I not already tell you that? It is my choice and Greirr is more than ready to take on the mantle of lordship. He will make a fine successor and a good leader and I will have more time to concentrate on what is important to me." He pauses then and then asks "You do wish me to be with you?"

I am ashamed at the doubt I can hear in Gimli's voice. Have I been so ungrateful so unthinking? It behooves me to say what is in my heart.

"Of course I do, but to take you away from all you love would be wrong. As much as I desire your company there are others who have a call on you as well, your own folk, your own family."

Gimli looks for a moment as if he is angered by my words then he laughs, "Ye daft elf, where else would I wish to be except with you? You are my family and the one I love more than any other. In all ways ye are my son, my child, my heir. I swore an oath to your father, child, and I will not break it while I have breath in my body. When ye are well enough we will depart Aglarond and I will not regret it I swear it."

Mention of an oath, of course, reminds me of mine. I wonder if I should confess but decide now is not the time. Instead I make a promise to myself that before I leave Aglarond I will reaffirm it here on the altar of Zârgharâf.

For now I make one more effort to persuade Gimli that he has no need to give up his life for mine. I tell him that I will from now on call for him if there is need.

"I will not wait, nor prevent Galathil from coming for you if he believes it necessary."

I may as well save my breath; it seems that having made his decision Gimli will not be swayed by any efforts of mine.

"It isn'a as if I will never come back to the caves" he tells me, "I am sure you and I will be regular visitors as we travel about, but it is past time that Greirr was given an opportunity to put all he has learned into practice. He tells me he is ready and I believe him and while I am still in Middle Earth he can always seek my advice if he has need of it. Ye should appreciate that laddie, for ye were given a similar opportunity by your Adar and Aragorn. Now if you have no more arguments to put forward, I think it might be time for you to get some more rest."

I know he is right. I am exhausted both physically and emotionally, but there is one thing I wish to sort out first.

"I would like to speak with Greirr."

Bushy eyebrows almost meet in the middle.

"And why would that be?"
I can see where this conversation may be going and hurry to appease my hirsute guardian,.

"I am not thinking of trying to dissuade him from taking up the mantle of lord here, that is not something I have a right to interfere with. It is just that I would wish to hand on the amulet that Greirr gave me when he came of age." I do not add that it is unlikely that Greirr will still be alive by the time I come of age, nor that there is one other thing I would like to ask the next Lord of Aglarond to do. "You know I have never taken it from here. Not because I do not treasure it, but because I think this is where it belongs and I believe that now would be a good time to pass it on to Greirr's son Galinn, but I would wish to ask Greirr about it first."

Gimli nods approval for this plan.

"That is a good thought Lamb, but not tonight. Tonight ye need your rest and Greirr has enough to think about. If you can get a full nights sleep, and eat all that is put in front of ye in the morning, then I will see that Greirr comes to call tomorrow. Will that suit you?"

I would sooner deal with what I wish to discuss with my dwarven brother tonight but Gimli is correct. I am exhausted and tomorrow will come soon enough and then I can ask Greirr to arrange for me to have an opportunity to visit the altar and rededicate my oath before I leave. So I nod and allow myself to be steered back into my bedchamber. Sleep comes swiftly and as with all the other nights since I came to Aglarond there are no dreams of the sea.

I wake much refreshed and with new hope that with Gimli's support I can beat or at least survive the bane of the call of the sea and a nights rest has also brought me to the realization that there is no chance that I will be able to persuade Gimli to remain in Aglarond if he has chosen otherwise. All I can do is give him what support I can as he prepares to hand over Lordship here. It will be an emotional enough time for him without my moping and giving the impression I do not want his company.

So, today I will speak with Galathil and Saellind, and give them orders as to preparations to be made in Eryn gîl Ithil so that all is in order for our arrival. If Gimli is coming to live there I want everything to be right for him. He has his own rooms already but I think that it would be good if additional chambers were cleared so that any extra furnishings and items he wishes to bring can be properly housed.

I manage to bathe and dress unaided, a small but very welcome improvement, and then I make my way into the main day chamber. Gimli is already at work seated at the table busy writing but he looks up as I enter.

"Well now, ye are looking a deal better than ye did. Come and sit down. Dorbryn is in the kitchen making ye something to tempt your appetite."

I look in the direction of the kitchen, doubt assailing me as I wonder if Dorbryn and Thorûr have been told about Gimli's move to Ithilien. Will they resent me for making this necessary and leaving Greirr to take up the responsibilities of Lord?

Were it not for me that would not happen not for many years yet.

As if he can read my mind, Gimli pats my hand.

"Greirr told his mam and da last night Lamb, and they both support my decision."

"Indeed we do," Dorbryn calls out, "where else should Gimli be save with his heart-son? And it is not as if ye will be that far away that we will not see the pair of ye, at least at first."

She bustles in on these words and puts a platter of food in front of me.

"Now eat up. You are as skinny as a bean pole."

She then chatters on asking Gimli about various bits of furnishings and hangings that she thinks he should carry away with him,.

"And you must take Mam's chair and her favorite quilt. She would never forgive you if you left them behind."

Both Gimli and I look at the chair with its bright quilt hanging from the back of it. Gimli looks as if he is about to demur, for it has sat in that spot since Lady Vonild moved to Erebor, but then he sees my eyes upon it. That chair holds so many memories for me. It is where I have received so much comfort and care, and he nods in agreement.

"Aye ye are correct sister, and with the canal we can carry some of the other heavier items at least as far as Edoras and then get them taken on from there by heavy wains. We will be quite a cavalcade when we set out."

"Gimli…"

"My mind is made up Lamb." he interrupts me before I have a chance to begin, "let us not argue over it, but concentrate on getting ye well enough to travel."

I nod meekly and turn my attention to my meal for I know if I do not eat much of the food on my plate there will be no chance of my going off to speak with Saellind.

Gimli watches me struggling to swallow and eventually pulls the plate away.

"There is no need to make yourself sick again. I think ye have done well enough for now. Now I have things that I canna put off. Is there anything I can do for ye before I go?"

"I would like to speak with Galathil and Saellind" I answer, "only to reassure them that all is well between us and to give some orders to Saellind before he rides south." I add when Gimli's brow creases into a frown.

"Well I will send them to ye, but do not overdo things. Greirr said to tell ye he will come in to see ye this afternoon but mind me if ye feel tired ye are to say so. There is no rush for us to move. There are many things to be done here first and plenty of time for ye to rest and recover."

I promise to take care and Gimli goes on his way. Dorbryn follows soon after having cleared up the table and left me wrapped in Mam's quilt sitting by the fire. I find after the food and the warmth I am soon dozing and I jump when the door opens and Saellind and Galathil enter to receive my orders.

They are both looking wary, so I offer them a smile and ask them to sit.

"I wish to apologize" I begin making them both stare, "I should have listened to your advice and asked for support earlier. I am grateful for what you both did for me. Gimli was what I needed even if I was too stubborn and proud to admit it myself."

"We are just relieved that you are looking so much better Hir Nin and hope that with Lord Gimli to support you things will be a little easier from now on."

"I hope so too," I answer, "and speaking of Gimli, his presence will bring differences for us all I think."

I address these words to Galathil who has never fully accepted Gimli or any mortal as an equal.

He has the grace to flush a little.

"I have the greatest respect for Lord Gimli," he tells me, "and I owe him a debt I can never repay, for he has done what we have been unable to do, bring you back from the brink and from the necessity of sailing for a while longer. I will make it my business to see that he has no need to complain of my attitude towards him when he comes to Eryn gîl Ithil to make his home with us. Indeed I have every intention of making him very welcome."

"Thank you Galathil. I am certain that the two of you will become if not great friends then certainly strong allies, with a shared interest in keeping me in check."

Saellind turns his laugh into a cough at this and even stern Galathil smirks at the thought of having Gimli on his side when I am bent on doing something he would consider 'unwise'.

"As for you Captain," I turn my attention to Saellind who straightens, "you will have your work cut out trying to keep the three of us from strangling each other when we clash as we inevitably will."

Now we all laugh, for Saellind has always been the peace maker between Gimli and Galathil.

"I will do my best Hir Nin" he replies, and then we go on to discuss what needs to be put into hand for our return to Ithilien. When they have both departed I doze again, waking only when Dorbryn brings in some soup and fresh bread for my noon meal. When she leaves then I walk back into my bed chamber and take out the amulet that Greirr gave me all those years before.

I turn it over and over in my hands thinking of all the changes that I have seen since I first met a very small Greirr back in Erebor. Now he is about to take on the lordship here in Aglarond. He has a wife and son of his own and I … I turn my thoughts to other things for that route is full of old pain and resentment that does no one any good, least of all me. As Mam once said each race matures in its own time as decreed by the One and there is nothing we can do to change that fact.

I am still thinking over these things when Greirr comes in and I can see that already he has begun to take on the mantle of his new position. He looks somehow older, more formal but then he grins and ruffles my hair and asks what he can do for me.

"There are two things. The first is easy enough. I wish to give you back your amulet and ask that you give it to your son. I think that it is time for it to be handed on to a new generation."

Greirr takes the arm band I hold out.

"thank you Legolas I know that Galinn will treasure it knowing it has come from you. I hope that you will continue to come here as often as you can and still see it as your home. You are family after all."

"I hope to be able to do so and I will do my best to ensure Gimli spends time here as well. I feel guilty enough for taking him away from his home the least I can do is encourage him to visit when he can."

Greirr takes my hand in his, "there is nothing to feel guilty about brother, Gimli has long intended to do this. He spoke of it when Mam was still alive and had her blessing for his choice and for his other plans as well."

"What plans?"

Greirr looks conscious stricken as if he has said something he ought not to, then rallies.

"That I cannot divulge. You know uncle Gimli. He likes to keep his secrets until he is ready to divulge them, so there is no point in asking me further questions. Tell me instead what the second thing is ye wished to speak with me about."

I allow myself to be diverted for Greirr is correct in saying that Gimli never speaks of things until he is ready. It may well be that he talked to Mam about his plans for when he dies and I have my own secrets to keep on that score.

"I have a request to make," I begin, "I want to reaffirm an oath I made many years ago on the Altar of Zârgharâf but I will need your help to get there."

Greirr frowns and looks alarmingly like Gimli when he does so.

"When did you swear such an oath? You are not yet of age and should not even have seen the altar yet."

I am prepared for this and answer easily enough.

"You forget that Gimli gained permission for me to watch the Equinox oath taking from the King under the Mountain years ago."

"Aye so he did, but that did not confer on you the right to make an oath of your own."

"Well I have and I did. Will you help me re-affirm it? I only need to touch the stone and leave a lapis stone in the bowl, but I cannot do it alone and if I am with you no one will ask questions of me."

"Why not ask Uncle Gimli to take you?"

I look down at my hands which are twisted in the edges of the quilt.

"He does not know about it and I would sooner he did not find out yet. I will tell him when the time is right I promise. It is not something that you would think was wrong I swear. I just need to do this! It is important for me to do it! Please Greirr."

"Gimli will skin me alive if he ever finds out, but I can see this is important to you, so yes I will take you to the altar and hope that neither of us gets into trouble because of it."

I am so relieved that I will be able to reaffirm my promise that all I can do is say "Thank you I hope that is the case as well."

Since there is no time like the present and Gimli is likely to be absent for some time, Greirr and I go the hall immediately and while he watches on I place my offering of a lapis stone in the bowl beneath the covered altar then with one hand on the stone and one on the pendant I wear about my neck I reaffirm my oath to stay with Gimli to the end no matter what.

I struggle to make the walk back and in the end give into Greirr's entreaties to let him carry me. It is embarrassing, but it could be a great deal worse, Greirr points out, if Gimli were to find me out and about. We make it back safely and I am tucked back under the quilt by the time Gimli returns and we spend the evening in quiet conversation. I feel a great sense of peace within in me I know I have done what is right and can now look forward to going home and taking my beloved dwarf with me.