Youth, Enthusiasm & Other Neuroses

by His Lordship Havoc

Two friends from a backwater little town join the Wu army in the hope of becoming heroes. But how do you become heroes in an army and a nation of renowned heroes? Ties into my 'Young Conqueror' story. Lots of action and battles, romance and humour. As you might have guessed, it helps to be a Wu-phile to read this story. Reviews are welcome, flames will be laughed at. Enjoy!

2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Dynasty Warriors or any other media associated with Koei or its affiliates. The vast majority of the characterizations have been expanded upon by me for the sake of literary format. Individual or minor characters created by me for the purposes of interaction and story depth or my own property. If you wish to know which ones they are please ask.

This is a simple work of fanfiction meant for the entertainment of Dynasty Warriors players and fans, along with those who are familiar with the Chinese epic Sanguo, or 'Three Kingdoms'. Centred around some invented characters serving the Sun family, it helps to be a Wu-phile if you want to read this story. As always, your reviews are welcome and appreciated. Enjoy!

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Youth, Enthusiasm & Other Neuroses, Chapter 2- The Perils of Heroism

"I can't believe you have to go so soon," Lei groused as she groused as she bought a wooden bowl of rice gruel to the table where her beloved Guiren waited. "It is unfair that we must be parted this way."

"I am sorry, Lei, but I was given six months of paid leave, which is very generous, and now it is time for me to return." Guiren replied, also hating the fact that he must depart. "I don't get to stay just because of my little part in one epic and heroic battle."

"I know, I know," she said, pouting as she sat down with him at the table. Along with the gruel she had laid out picked vegetables, some spiced fish and steamed curd. It was a healthy meal worthy of her beloved warrior. "But I don't have to like it."

"On that point we agree, I admit." Guiren mused as he took a pickle in his chopsticks and popped it into his mouth. His fiancée swatted at his hand, looking reproachful.

"Guiren, we haven't even given thanks yet!" she hissed. "You've been back for five and a half months, one would think that some of your manners might have returned by now…"

He chuckled and nodded his head, enjoying the chiding. They prayed to their ancestors and to Ch'u-Jun, the god of fire and patron of Guiren's village. They began eating, Lei nearly as heartily as he did. One would have thought she was pregnant, but the diviners had said it was not so. No matter, there would be time.

Lei giggled, seeming to know what he was thinking. "At least I am not Min and you are not poor Keung," she remarked. "They were trying so hard not to be discovered and then she starts getting morning sickness. Her father threw such a fit once he realized what they'd been doing."

"Yeah, but Keung handled it admirably." Guiren pointed out. "I doubt it's deserved, but he and I are the two most respected men in the region after the elder. Even Min's mother sided with Keung and told the old man to lay off. He may be the biggest hemp merchant in town, but he's not one of the heroes of Wang Jou."

She smirked and poked his nose with her finger. "And have you, oh mighty warrior, managed to reach an agreement with my father about my dowry?"

Guiren grinned. "He was so eager for the match it was hardly a negotiation, I admit. Two boars, seven sows, two boats with cormorants and nets, one hundred jin of smelted iron, one tael of gold, eight strings of cash and the pearl from the window in old Yao's shop."

Lei's eyes lit up. "You got the pearl?"

"So I'm told, it's part of the deal," replied the soldier. The girl squealed and threw her arms around her beloved, knocking bowls and trays askew. Guiren barely caught her but tipped backward and crashed to the floor, using his body to protect hers. He wheezed and then laughed while she smothered him in kisses. He tickled her and she squealed and sat up, straddling him and looking down, her eyes shining.

"So," she said, smiling radiantly. "I am to be married for iron, gold, cash and even a pearl. Is this how it is done in Baifu?"

He reached up and caressed her cheek. "No amount of gold would be sufficient, nor any ladies of Baifu worthy of your- grrrk!"

"That, oh hero, was very charming, but not an answer to my question." Lei said pointedly, reaching down behind herself and taking a very firm grip on one of his more sensitive parts. "If you do wish to have a family, I strongly suggest you be straightforward in your response."

"Ah-ah-ah-ah, Lei, please, you know I've never been to Baifu, only Changsha and even there I had no clue what was going on sopleaseletgoofmealreadyyoui nsanewoman!"

Lei sighed and relinquished her grip on Guiren's manhood and stared down at him. "Do you think me not worthy of Baifu?"

Guiren rolled his eyes and smiled at her, gently moving her aside while he gingerly rose to his feet. "My love, what I know is that I will be lucky to ever be worthy of you. As for Baifu, I told you, the cities are still a mystery to me. What do I care about what all those nobles and aristocrats do to negotiate a marriage? None of those women are you and I would have paid your father for the privilege. This is Pei, not Baifu and not Changsha or Luo'yang. Maybe they think we're backward bumpkins, but I don't give a damn. None of them fought at Wang Jou."

She turned and walked away to look out the window of the little house they lived in, built by her father for the two of them upon Guiren's return. She held her arms and nodded slightly. "What you say makes sense, of course, but I cannot help but wonder… when you are away from me, when you see all the things you will see during these great wars and trials, will you always remember me?"

Guiren tilted his head and listened, intrigued to know what was bothering his beloved.

"So far from little Pei, little backwards and bumpkin Pei," she continued, her voice almost tiny. "So many women out there, whose morals may differ from our own. They may seem no harm in seducing you and taking you away from me. I am, after all, just a backward country girl. Do you mean to tell me that no woman out there could ever capture your heart as I have and receive your undying fealty?"

He shifted uncomfortably as he thought about the vow he and the other Green Demons had taken upon their lives that they would always protect the Lady Da Qiao, Princess of the Southlands and greatest woman in the realm. He and Keung had talked about this countless times and concluded that their devotion to the Lady was not in any way, shape or form an indication that they were unfaithful to Min or Lei. It was completely different.

For all that, though, they swore to one another that they would never tell anyone in the town about their oath, it would be too difficult to explain to their girls, let alone their parents.

He came up behind Lei and hugged her close, kissing her cheek. "There is only you, Lei, there has only ever been and nothing will change that."

"So certain?" she asked softly without looking away from the window.

"Well, Confucian tenets do dictate that if I could support them then I could have concubines along with you as my wife," he whispered in her ear, smiling evilly. "Should I ever become a great lord, perhaps I should snatch up some of those Baifu dainties and keep them in our sprawling siheyuan, yes?"

Lei finally sighed and giggled, dropping the matter because it was indeed a silly concern. Even if Guiren did at some point know the comfort of another woman's body while away on campaign, she knew his heart and it was here with her. She had no reason to complain.

"Come, let us clean up the meal and then we can go out and greet my adoring fans." Guiren quipped, turning her around and kissing her nose. "We have but two weeks left and so much to do."

Lei nodded and they quickly cleaned away the mess before stepping out of their cozy home and into the warmth of the beautiful Southlands day. Pei was a modest town of maybe two thousand people, including the outlying farmers of the region. She walked demurely beside him as they passed through the main street, people waving to Guiren or even bowing.

He smiled and nodded to himself. It may have been small and boring, but it was good to be home.

---

"Good day, happy couple!" Keung said in his cheerful tone as he walked up, accompanied by Min, his lovely fiancée. She was not yet showing, since she was maybe only two months along, but it was only a matter of time before the speculation would begin.

"Ready for another day of being pestered with questions we have no answer to?" Guiren muttered to his friend while the girls embraced. Lei and Min had been best friends since early childhood, much as Guiren and Keung had. Min giggled and swatted Lei's hand as she quietly made some lewd comment and subtly fondled her friend's breast.

"Such is the painful price of being a hero, my friend," Keung declared amiably. "My advice, enjoy it, for sooner or later this adulation will carry the weight of expectations."

"And you, as always, sound like some drunken Taoist priest trying to impress a young girl so he can peg her. Truly you are full of shit as Farmer Hu's fields." Guiren had never, in all the years of their association, figured out how his companion managed to be so damned jovial all the time. If it was a blessing for Keung, it was something of a curse to everyone around him, except possibly Min.

"And here's the first one of the afternoon. Here we go…" Keung said as an older man came shuffling up, smiling almost obsequiously and bowing to them.

"Ah, Masters Keung and Guiren…" began Shen the fruit seller, bowing several times. "Please pardon the intrusion, but as you know, I am part of the committee that is trying to re-plan the market in town, to make sure it is more in compliance with the principals of the Tao."

"So you've mentioned before," Guiren said wryly, not at all liking where this was going. "Pray, good sir, what would you have of us?"

"Well, since you are by far the two most travelled men of our little town, we would like your input as to what would be proper in helping to realign our endeavours, both for the marketplace and for other structures like our shrines and apothecaries."

Keung and Guiren looked at one another for a moment before Keung addressed their audience. "Mister Shen, admittedly our experience of such things is limited, but what we do know we shall gladly impart to you and your fellow merchants. Let us talk it over and we shall present you with our thoughts tomorrow then, okay?"

Shen bowed several times gratefully and shuffled off. Guiren sighed. "We leave for six months to learn how to poke northerners with pointy sticks and now everyone thinks we are Confucian scholars. This was never covered in basic."

Lei smiled. "Poor hero. I'll make you feel better later, I promise."

"You two need to remember that you have to report in to the garrison tomorrow," Min chided, holding up a finger. "I'm not interested in receiving another visit from the garrison commander, saying you'd forgotten to show up."

"I promise, my beloved, it shall never happen again." Keung replied, holding her close and caressing her hair. The town's traditional and conservative mindset normally frowned up such blatant public displays of affection, but Keung and Guiren's status as heroes gave them leeway not readily afforded anyone else. The town had become something of a small economic hub for the region very quickly since their return, so certain breaches of etiquette were overlooked.

They next went to visit the shrine located just outside the town, where the old seer woman Puo was busy throwing nasty-smelling moss onto a smouldering fire and chanting. She invited them to sit and served tea while making ostentatious predictions about the results of Min's pregnancy. Once that ritual was disposed of, though, she leaned in close and spoke quietly to the two men.

"I beg you, my sons, when you are next away from our town, to come back with some proper divining tools that we can use here at the shrine. My niece and I are making due, but if our town grows any further due to your fame, it will likely not be enough."

"And because we have returned as heroes, it is our duty to see to it that you are furnished with the props and accoutrements that you need, yes?" Guiren remarked dryly. This was becoming something of a pattern around these parts.

The old woman nodded and tapped the side of her nose conspiratorially. Guiren pinched his eyes while Keung nodded. "No promises, but we'll see what we can do."

"Oh, if only you manage to find the resourcefulness you showed at Wang Jou," she said earnestly, taking Keung's hand and squeezing it. "Please, do all that you can, for the sake of our little home."

They left the shrine and headed to the market, where they were mobbed by young children, eager to play with the Heroes of Pei. The girls sat under an awning and watched while the men chased the children around the square, roaring like monsters, declaring themselves to be such hideous beings as Cao Cao or other nightmares.

Once the children were sated, Keung and Guiren returned to what they had actually come to the market to do, that being to try and fix the well in the square. It had once just been a simple basin with a hand pump fed by the nearby river, but someone had become ambitious and tried to create a cyclical pump that flowed continuously, requiring no labour and keeping the water from stagnating. The person had, however, died before completing the project and no one in the town knew how to continue.

So naturally it fell to the Heroes of Pei to solve the crisis, since people were tired of taking buckets down to the river that was no more than a hundred paces away from the town.

The two men stared at the pump for some time, saying nothing. People stopped to observe them, whispering to one another and giving them encouraging looks before moving on and leaving them to their ruminations. Guiren scowled and scuffed his toe at the dirt.

"They never covered this in basic either," he muttered. "Well, the damn thing's broke, so I suppose taking it apart won't make things worse…"

"Agreed," Keung said, squatting down to see what remained of the statue that now concealed the pump and fountain. He couldn't tell, but he was reasonably certain it was supposed to be a dragon.

Or maybe it was a pig. He couldn't really decide.

"You do realize that this is not going to get any better once we head back for deployment, right?" Guiren groused as they stepped into the dry basin of the fountain.

"In what sense?" Keung asked.

"People won't be asking us every day to do things for them but they'll be sending us away with missives and requests to speak with our dear friend the Lord of the Southlands and make sure every little niggling detail in their lives will be seen to."

Keung laughed. "I think you may be right. I can just see it now- 'Hey, Sun Ce, our town sucks, can you hook us up with some improvements? No, no, whatever's going to take the least effort on our part will be appreciated, seriously.' That's pretty much how their expectations will go."

Guiren grunted by way of response while he pulled away at the loose stone tiles at the base of the fountain to get inside. He flipped over onto his back while he tried to get at whatever central mechanism lay within.

"I don't know what they expect us to do with this dumb thing," Keung mentioned as he removed some crumbling decorative ceramic tiles near the top of the dragon-pig. "It's not like the old pump system wasn't working just fine before, right?"

"Clearly someone thought it wasn't convenient enough," came Guiren's voice from beneath the base of the statue. "Hmmmm, there's some sort of dead animal in here clogging up the pipe, Keung. This is disgusting, it smells like shit!"

"Try not to get it in your mouth or Lei will never kiss you again." Keung said absently as he groped around blindly inside the statue, not sure at all what he was looking for. He could feel little knobs or ridges that might have been part of levers but he was no expert either.

"Okay, I got the animal obstruction out," echoed Guiren's voice, followed by his hand tossing some black and rotting lump of flesh out of the basin. "Now I'm just gonna check and see if there's any remnants we need to flush out."

Keung was only partly listening, though, fiddling around as he was with his mystery switches hidden from view by the statue. "Alright, I think I found the trip to the pump and I'm just going to flip this little lever here and…"

*click!*

*BLOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSH!*

Keung sprang back as the statue shuddered and the pump and fountain rumbled to life. Unfortunately, Guiren had not closed the hole he had created in the pipe when this was done. Gouts of brackish water, so long backed up beneath the fountain, spurted and shot out uncontrollably below, with nary a drop exiting the fountain head. Guiren's body jerked and thrashed in shock and outrage as the basin began to fill, the water a greasy greenish-grey colour.

As the basin filled, Keung approached the fountain again, making a wry face as he looked down into the murky water to see what his friend was doing.

"Guiren?" he called as people gathered around. "You okay?"

No response came but Guiren's lower body could be seen just lying there beneath the water. Keung was now joined by Min and Lei, holding hands and looking somewhat concerned.

"He's not dead, is he?" Lei asked. "Because that'd really ruin my day."

Keung squatted down at the edge of the basin and called out loudly, now surrounded by curious observers.

"Guiren?" he called again. "I think we fixed it. You gonna come up any time soon?"

Slowly out of the water, his friend's first emerged, the thumb tucked into it…

---

"I cannot believe how boring this routine gets." Guiren muttered as he and Keung went through their spear exercises along with the other troops of the small garrison stationed in the general region. While the Sun family ruled all the Southlands, their political and military force had yet to be expressed in this territory significantly. The garrison consisted of little more than a hundred men and it was nearly two hundred li from Pei. And it was still the closest Wu outpost for now.

"Maybe, but one must admire the discipline of the Wu army," Keung replied as he spun his spear about and made a determined thrust at head level. "These men are incredibly far-removed from all other military garrisons but there has been no breakdown in discipline or tradition."

"How they keep from going mad is beyond me, I must say. At least back north we were always busy doing something, even if it was just moving from camp to camp."

"Welcome to garrison life, gentleman," said the garrison commander as he strode by, swatting Guiren across the back with a wicker baton for talking during exercises. "And heroes or not, if I catch you flouting discipline and talking during forms again I will shove your orders so far up your ass you'll have paper cuts on the back of your tongue for a month."

Keung sighed and kept practicing while Guiren bit his lip, trying to ignore the sting in his spine. The commander stopped and observed them for some time, a look of disdain on his face.

"You have good form, although you are sloppy from lack of continual practice. Your company commander taught you well. Who is he?"

"His name is Chun and he was once a Stone Demon." Keung replied as he spun his spear about and slapped through a low parry and then a decisive thrust, determined to look good in case word of this ever got back to the sergeant.

The commander considered for a moment and nodded. "A Stone Demon, eh? I have only campaigned alongside them once, and that was when the Sun family came back to Wu. I fought in Ling Cao's corps against Yan Baihu. Your sergeant must be an impressive man."

"We thought so, once we found out he was a Stone Demon and not just a cranky old fart," Guiren added, thrusting his spear into an imaginary downed opponent. "He proved very skillful at the battle of Wang Jou, even taking on Cao Pi in a duel. But we were all overmatched until Lord Sun Ce entered the fray and drove Cao Pi off."

Several of the garrison soldiers faltered in their exercises upon hearing the name of Sun Ce and gawked at the two recruits. The commander seemed surprised as well and failed to chide them for stopping.

"You two fought alongside the Lord of the Southlands?" he asked almost in amazement.

Keung blushed. "Well, no, we were getting our asses handed to us and he just sort of stampeded through and routed the enemy for us. We didn't even know who he was until after the battle."

Everyone in the garrison seemed too stunned to say anything further and just stared at the two of them wordlessly, including the commander.

Keung and Guiren couldn't help but notice that their rations at the afternoon meal were a little larger than normal.

---

"So, Keung, how is your poetry progressing?" asked Min's mother as they all sat down to dinner. Min's father, one of the more affluent merchants in the region had invited him, Guiren and Lei to their manor for dinner. Though he had finally reconciled himself to his daughter's carnal activities with her betrothed, he still liked to keep tabs on the boy and make sure he was acting in a manner befitting of a proper husband. Her mother was more amiably disposed to Keung but shared her spouse's expectations, hence the question she now posed.

"Um… 'scuse me?" Keung replied, perplexed.

"Well, it is my understanding that all nobles of quality are not only proficient with a spear but also the brush, composing eloquent poetry," she explained. "How, then, are you and Guiren progressing with your poetry?"

Keung squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, trying to correlate the logic his future mother-in-law was positing. "Mother, I… Guiren and I are junior servicemen in a green company that was nearly destroyed in its first action. How, if I may be so bold as to ask, does this confer peerage upon us or obligate us to any kind of skill with poetry?"

"Well, my son, you must be prepared for such possibilities and eventualities, shi?" the matron explained. "After all, did you two not join the army of Wu in order to be noticed and make names for yourselves? If you are indeed destined to be noticed and promoted and given appointments, should you not be prepared, the better to serve in your new posts?"

Not knowing what to say, Keung poked at a cube of bean curd on his plate with his chopsticks but it sprang away and tumbled onto the table, leaving an awkward trail of spicy dark sauce. Min's father raised an eyebrow.

"Not to be contrary, ma'am, but Keung and I only barely fought off the ferocious assaults of wooden dummies and just finished learning that the pointy end of a spear goes into the other guy." Guiren interjected. "This leaves surprisingly little time with which to practice such lofty arts."

"Perhaps if you spent less time pursuing more lecherous activities and focusing on your chosen path, then?" growled Min's father over his plate. His wife kissed her teeth and nudged him with her elbow.

"Manners now, my dear," she chided. "A young man needs his outlets, especially when he is engaged in the business of being a hero."

"As I recall, I managed to court you without giving in to such improprieties, did I not?" the father protested.

"Yes, you did," she agreed. "No matter how many times I dropped hints, flaunted my body or even stood naked in front of you in defiance of my parents, you never took the hint. I was begging for you to peg me and not once did you-"

"Mother, please!" Min hissed, clapping her hands over her ears in horror at what he mother was saying. "I do not need to hear this!"

"Uh, maybe we should go." Guiren suggested.

"No, no, I'm enjoying this." Keung replied, grinning while resting his chin on his hands. "Tell me, mother, what ploys you used to try and pillow with Min's father, maybe you can give her some ideas…"

Min collected up her plate of food, took Lei by the other hand and dragged her friend out of the room so as to not be exposed to whatever was about to be discussed. Lei waved hurriedly at Guiren as she disappeared through a door.

Min's mother sighed and looked at the young men. "Seriously though, boys, you have done what no one of our region has ever done before; you have joined the Wu army, made names for yourselves against all odds and perhaps it is unfair that people have all sorts of expectations of you, but this is a remarkable opportunity like no one else has ever had."

"Wait, are you saying that no one else from Pei or even the whole area has ever left to join the armies of the Sun family?" Keung asked in amazement.

"To the best of our knowledge, you are the first," Min's father replied. "Most of the men of our region with any military experience got it from serving in the forces of the bandit lords like Yan Baihu. Most of the men who actually joined the Wu army came from Lin Xiang or Gui Ling. Pei was too remote and the men simply faded away from memory or went to work as anonymous labourers in the field rather than face what they had done."

"I find that rather astounding," Keung mused. "Even if we had not performed as we had at Wang Jou, we would still be the first of the Wu army loyalists?"

"Pei is so remote that only a small garrison is maintained anywhere near here," continued Min's father. "We have no proper regional capital or armed force, we have no Confucian academy, nor any other established school, no courtesan manor and few artisans with more than rudimentary skills in their trade. Aside from some elders, we don't even have any established aristocracy."

He stopped talking and let what he was saying sink in. He knew these two could be thick but hopefully what he was implying wouldn't take too long.

Keung and Guiren were silent for some time before the latter finally spoke. "So what you're saying is… if Keung and I make a name for ourselves, not only could we help to bring prosperity to the region…"

"But we might also be appointed as the nobles who rule over Pei and the prefecture that is created." Keung concluded, his eyes shining at the revelation.

"I was hoping letting my daughter screw you hadn't turned your brain completely to mush," muttered the older man, thankful it hadn't taken until sunrise for the epiphany to occur. "You represent what might be a new and better chapter in the lives of the people of Pei. If you become the lords and administrators or the land and bear children…"

"Then one day your children might marry, our families join and their children will rule in wisdom and with beneficence, yes?" added Min's mother. "All because you two had the acorns now to do what no one of our town has never been brave enough to."

Guiren looked at Keung. "You know, I always thought you might have a flair for poetry with a little practice."

"And I always thought you might look rather noble with a chop in your hand as opposed to your foot in your mouth." Keung replied, grinning.

"Good," said the mother, leaning forward eagerly now that they were on board. "So you two will speak to Lord Sun Ce about the idea? We could use a new awning outside the shop."

Keung's head thunked against the table with a groan while Guiren pinched his eyes.

---

"Mmmmm, peach pits…" he said in a dreamy voice. "Monkeys… dumpling chariots hammering on… three months to Un-ger…"

"Keung, you're talking in your sleep again." Min murmured, giving her fiancée a nudge as she lay next to him. They had been up all night, experimenting with positions and techniques they assumed courtesans in the big cities used and the effort seemed to have drained Keung of all energy. It was past noon now and even the sun flowing into their room could not wake him.

She sat up and stretched for a moment, sighing. She looked down and cupped her breasts, blushing in embarrassment as she noticed the unusual marks on them. Well, she had been rather drunk last night and they'd done a lot of things she normally wouldn't consider. But then her mother told her that Keung and Guiren had agreed to her parents' assessment of what they might accomplish and if her beloved was promoted and given a title, he would perhaps be able to afford a second wife or concubines.

And Min would do whatever it took to make sure she remained his first and favourite. Even if it felt funny or uncomfortable sometimes…

"Nrrrrr, tea fish…" he droned, turning over onto his other side. "Let me put it in… feel good…promise…"

Min scowled at him and picked up the wooden water bowl sitting on their side table and was about to pour it on his head when someone thumped loudly at the front door, startling her.

"Master Keung! Please!" a young man's voice said frantically. "We have need of you! I beg you, come at once!"

"Keung, wake up!" Min said, shoving him roughly. "Someone needs help!" Keung snorted and woke up, looking around in a daze.

"Buh?"

"Keung, listen to me," Min said, taking his face in her dainty fingers and looking into his eyes, forcing him to focus. "Someone is bashing on our door, asking you to help. Something must be wrong outside."

Some vestige of training took over and Keung nodded, sprang out of bed and hasted for the door.

"Um, Keung?" Min said, clearly bemused. "You might want to put some pants on first."

He swerved away from the door and hastened to slip on his trousers before heading out with his fiancée in tow.

---

People were running away from the center of town, very panicked and crying for help. Keung moved through the crowd, many of whom cried for his assistance as they ran by. He frowned as he tried to ascertain what was happening.

"Seems we have a small problem." Guiren remarked as he hastened up beside Keung, followed by Lei. "From what I can gather, someone's causing a disturbance in the market?"

"That's more than I've gleaned so far," Keung answered, noticing that Guiren had brought along his sword, though it was still sheathed. He was also wearing a tunic, as opposed to Keung, who had only managed to throw on some pants. "The question is, who and why?"

The made it through the retreating crowds and came upon the market, where an unexpected scene awaited them- four shabbily-dressed and brutish men were wreaking havoc, overturning carts and smashing displays while people ran about in terror. The thugs laughed and struck randomly at people as they raced by, a least one of them using a club.

"Well, at least we know what all the commotion is," Keung muttered. "So a town of three thousand people is running from four men causing a ruckus and they're screaming for you and I to fix it?"

"Looks that way," Guiren replied, his eyes hardening as one of the men struck a young girl in the back of the head and knocked her to the ground. "Well, there's only four of them, we've faced worse odds."

"Wait here." Keung growled to the girls as he and Guiren moved forward. He paused as they entered the open space of the market square and grabbed a long, flexible dough-rolling pole from the baker's stall and then joined his comrade.

If the thugs noticed their arrival, then they thought nothing of it. They continued causing mayhem and terror, laughing loudly and yelling.

"G'wan!" one slurred drunkenly as he aimed a kick at a scurrying vendor. "Get yer sorry asses outta our market, you pigs! This is our town now! Ain't no Sun family here to protect ya! We ran with Yan Baihu an' now we are the law around here! Nothin' you can do about it, either!"

"You might want to rethink that idea, jerk!" Keung called out, getting their attention. "The army of Wu is here and you're not welcome. Get lost if you want to avoid getting hurt!"

The brigands all paused and stared at the two of them in mild disbelief. The two sides sized one another up for several seconds and Guiren realized that everything behind them had gone strangely quiet. No doubt the people all fleeing the scene had stopped and turned to watch the proceedings.

"You pieces of shit git outta here!" snarled one of the thugs angrily, clearly annoyed at being interrupted. "Fuck you and the Sun family! We run this town!"

"Say something," Keung whispered out of the side of his mouth to Guiren. "Everyone's watching."

"Me?" hissed his friend. "You're the glib one, why do I have to?"

"Because I already said something and I don't want you to look like the dumb one."

Guiren rolled his eyes. "Uhhh… get out of our town!" he called loudly, holding up his sword, still sheathed, apparently for the thugs to observe. "You are no longer wanted here and there will be trouble if you're not gone soon!"

He heard Lei sigh behind him.

Guiren flushed and decided he was done playing. "That does it!" he shouted angrily. "Last chance, you morons get the fuck out of our town or you're gonna regret it!"

Clearly the thugs were not impressed (or just too drunk to know better) because they all yelled and charged in, waving whatever implements happened to be at hand.

"Two each, you remember what to do?" Keung asked as he readied his dough-rolling pole.

"We haven't been gone from the service that long, smart-ass," Guiren growled, gripping his still-sheathed sword tightly. "You know that's not a spear you're holding, right?"

Keung shrugged. "Principal's still the same, just no pointy end."

Half a second later their attackers were on them and an ugly melee broke out. Two of the thugs lunged at Keung, trying to get inside the reach of his pole. He tried to fend them off, frowning as he realized that his armament of choice was a lot more flexible than he had at first assumed. True, when he did manage to snap the weapon and hit one of them it must have really hurt because they yelped a lot, but the pole didn't hit them when he wanted it to.

Guiren was trying to avoid drawing his sword, since he didn't want to kill anyone if he didn't have to, so he was using it to parry their blows, still sheathed. One of the thugs carrying a club struck at him and he batted the weapon aside and rammed the pommel of his sword into the man's sternum. Stunned, the man doubled over and Guiren drove his knee into his chin, snapping his head back and knocking him to the ground.

Half a second later, though, he was borne to the earth himself by his other foe tackling him. He wheezed and tried to roll, his assailant pummeling at him in a drunken rage. He grappled and struck at his foe, managing to turn himself onto his back so at least he could see the brigand. He kept his arms up and his elbows bent, protecting his body from most of the undisciplined blows his foe rained down on him. Meanwhile, his hands flashed up and he grabbed hold of his opponent's face, his thumbs inside the man's nostrils and trying to force him off.

By now Keung had found some of his rhythm with the pole and spun about, striking both men with the makeshift weapon and sending them staggering back, one holding his face and the other limp from a wicked slap across his thigh. Keung grinned and thrust forward, trying to spear one of the men in the groin but he dodged and stamped on the pole, knocking it from his grip. At a loss for only a moment, Keung shrugged and took up a defensive stance, like he had been instructed for unarmed combat.

Guiren finally managed to shove his opponent backward and scrambled to his feet. He grabbed the thug by the collar and struck him across the jaw, hard. The man went down and Guiren spun as he felt someone behind him. He twisted away from a punch by the foe he had dropped earlier, though he was amazed the man could even stand. He must have been really drunk. Guiren lunged in and began raining blows down on the man, who sputtered and cursed angrily, trying to fend him off.

The two young soldiers fought back with grim determination, never letting their foes get away from them. Guiren's opponent shoved him away but staggered when Keung's fist flashed out and tagged him across the jaw.

"Hey, I have this covered, thank you!" Guiren shouted angrily, annoyed that his friend had found the time to sucker-punch his foe while fighting two of his own.

"I missed getting you a birthday present, think of it as a belated gift!" Keung called back, only to get knocked to the ground by the pole he'd been forced to abandon. He scrambled to recover, trying to dodge the blows of the weapon. He kicked backward, his foe howling as his shin cracked. Perhaps it was unsportsmanlike, but Keung then punched his other opponent in the groin, causing him to double over. He smashed his forehead into the man's nose, finally putting him down. His head pounding in pain, he rose and turned back to his remaining enemy. The man was trying to hobble away, his shin causing him to cry out in pain. Keung came up behind him, kicked into the back of his knee, causing him to scream and drop. He held his foe upright and punched him in the side of the head and the man finally went unconscious.

Guiren had stomp-kicked the sole of his foot into his foe's abdomen, knocking him back but unfortunately bringing the man within range of his prized sword. The brigand grabbed the blade hastily, drawing it from its sheathe and brandishing it at Guiren, glaring hatefully.

"I'll kill you with your own fucking blade!" he snarled. He did not, however, notice that he was near an overturned ceramics cart which Lei and Min were standing beside. Lei scowled and smashed a vase over the man's head from behind, causing his eyes to roll up into his head and he flopped to the ground, the sword clattering away from his grip.

Guiren, panting heavily from his exertions, smiled at his fiancée. "Lei… thank you!"

The young woman flushed in embarrassment and looked away petulantly. "I… I just did it to help protect my town."

Guiren sighed and looked around, making sure all their opponents had been accounted for. Keung was squatting near one of his foes, massaging his head. When he gazed up, he saw Guiren standing over him, smiling down and offering a hand. As he took it and allowed himself to be pulled upright, the people of Pei burst into cheers and swarmed them, congratulating them on their mighty victory. Propped up onto the shoulders of some of the town's more stout men, they waved wearily to the jubilant crowd.

Through the noise, the looked around to find the girls- the two women were still standing near the overturned ceramics cart, arms folded and looking at the two heroes stonily. Keung shrugged helplessly at them, knowing they were in trouble for not rushing to check on their fiancées before allowing the townsfolk to take them away.

Min turned to Lei, whispered something in her ear, then kissed her cheek and led her off by the hand. Lei gave Guiren a last snide look before they vanished, clearly expecting to not be followed.

Guiren sighed in despair, knowing his comrade felt the same. Clearly being a hero had more layers to it than the emperor's best robes.

---

People were cheering heartily as Guiren and Keung each took another draught of heated plum wine. They were both rather drunk by now, but clearly no one had any intention of letting them stop. The local winemaker had brought out several bottles of his very best stock as a gift to the two heroes and they were in no position to refuse.

Keung placed his wine cup on the table with a pronounced 'clop!' and his designated team cheered loudly. Guiren was a mere second behind and he belched obscenely, his eyes crossed, eliciting gales of laughter from all assembled, even his own mother, who tended to be rather prudish about such things. But today was not the day to chide her son about manners, he had saved the town from those hooligans and he could do whatever the hell he wanted, even if that included turning green from drinking too much.

Keung paused in his imbibing and looked at his friend crookedly. "You know…" he slurred, beckoning for everyone inside the wine hall to be quiet. "You know… I… you… we need to try… you and I… the beel…"

"Whashat?" Guiren queried. "The fuck'sh beel?"

"You rem… remember…" Keung replied. "That brown shit the… the barbariansh drank… beel… shtupid…"

"Ohhhhhh, yesh…" Guiren agreed, dimly remembering now. "The brown shit… they drink brown shit… the Prinshesh had shome… shaid it wash nashty…"

People were murmuring to one another at the mention of the Bailangren. They had heard Guiren and Keung mention them before, but until now they'd almost been too afraid to ask.

"What are they like?" asked one person. "Do they really turn into wolves?"

"Is it true they have red hair and no souls?" asked another.

Keung attempted to stand and answer the questions, only managing to remain upright when someone propped him. His head lolled back and forth as he tried to look at everyone in the room. Unfortunately, his eyes were crossed and they were simply too many people to take in.

"Yesh!" he declared loudly. "They exisht and they are for real! They're not, they're not wolvesh… an' no, no red hair. They're big… real big… and hair like… like…"

He looked around for something to compare the Germans' hair to but spotted nothing readily. "Hair'sh brighter'n your piss, that'sh what it ish. An' big blue eyesh, like water, blue…"

"An' they're loud!" Guiren roared, standing up to join in the regaling. "Loud ash dragonsh when they shout! Shao Shao's men go running like little girlsh pishing themshelvesh when Lor' Elryk an' hish men are BLORRRRRRRRRRRRK!"

People roared with laughter at Guiren's antics. He grabbed a jar of wine and tilted his head back, trying to drink the contents. Most of it flowed over his chin and cheeks, but people still cheered loudly. Keung joined him and the people chanted their names again while they drank.

Both men were thoroughly drunk and several women convinced them to stand on the table and show off their chests. Keung had never managed to get a shirt on to begin with, so he stood unsteadily and spread his arms, hoping to keep his balance. Guiren stood beside him and wrestled with his tunic while the town's blacksmith pinned his legs to keep him from falling over.

True, both men were very fit, with no fat on them thanks to the Wu army's diet and training regimen, but their current inebriated state kept the two from displaying it to their best advantage.

Especially once Keung tried to flex and threw up all over the town elder's wife.

---

"The nerve of those two!" Min hissed as she lay beside Lei on a blanket, holding one another for comfort. "Ignoring us so that they could receive their accolades."

"I was really annoyed too at first," Lei admitted, pursing her lips as she thought about the entire scene. "But do you suppose maybe we were a little hard on them?"

"Don't say that, Lei." Min admonished, turning onto her side and holding her beloved friend's cheek gently so she could look into her eyes. "If you let the men ever have the upper hand, they'll be insufferable for as long as we let them live. Even if they're right, they must never know it."

The two girls giggled and held one another, laying together on a blanket atop piles of hay behind an outlying barn. They had left the scene to spite the boys and enjoy themselves without them, since they couldn't be bothered to check on the well-being of their fiancées before anything else took over. Several hours had passed and through the darkness of early night they could hear cheers and laughter still emanating from the town's only wine hall.

They were sort of lonely without the boys now, but they were also certain they wouldn't be able to stand the scene in town, where their husbands-to-be where doubtless getting so drunk that they wouldn't be coherent for days. So they came to their favourite private spot, where it was only just the two of them. They had been best friends since childhood, sharing their secrets and dreams, often behind this barn on this old blanket.

They had always known they would marry Keung and Guiren, who's lives they had made miserable when they were all young, chasing them about with sticks or pulling their hair. The boys had born the torture with patience (usually), although Keung had a flare for playing nasty pranks on the girls when revenge was finally called for.

Lei giggled. "Remember the time they spied on us while we were swimming naked in the pond on the other side of the woods?"

Min nodded. "I was so angry, but then they saw those other boys watching us too and they got into such a fight because only they were allowed to spy on us."

"Well, they got their reward, that's for sure." Lei mused, blushing. "But be honest, Min… when you made love to Keung just before they left to join the army, was that really your first time with him?"

Min thought about that for several moments. "Technically speaking, I guess you could say so," she said finally. "Certainly it was when he officially made a woman of me, although we had done plenty of things over the years before then."

"I kind of feel bad that I made Guiren wait," Lei admitted. "What if he had fallen in battle or found another girl while he was away?"

"He came back and he was a good boy, that's what counts." Min cooed, stroking her friend's cheek and smiling. "He is so devoted to you. Even when that little trollop Niao made all sorts of advances on him and crawled naked into his bed, he never did anything, he was always thinking of you."

"Would you really be okay with Keung taking a second wife or concubine?" asked Lei. "I don't know how I'd feel about Guiren doing it."

"Such is the way of our world, I guess." Min admitted. "But they say Lord Sun Ce only keeps one wife, the Lady Qiao."

Lei flopped onto her back and scowled at the dark night sky. "Doesn't it seem unfair that men can have multiple wives but women can only have one husband?"

Min smiled and clasped her friend's hand. "Oh, who cares? One man is enough, they're all such great hairy and sweaty beasts. Women are softer and more sensual."

Lei blushed. "Well that much is true. Now if only we-"

"Well, what have we here?" queried a gruff voice from near their heads. Both girls yelped in alarm but found themselves beset upon as they tried to rise. Several men grabbed onto them and clamped their hands over their mouths as the girls tried to scream. Min bit the hand of one and then thrashed about madly, kicking another in the groin. Before long, though, both girls were restrained and silenced with cloths stuffed in their mouths. Overcome with terror, Lei swooned and drifted off into nightmares…

---

Guiren woke up slowly and hacked dryly. His throat felt like it was full of shards of ceramic. His eyes were almost glued shut and his head thundered with a massive hangover as only plum wine could give one. How the hell much had he drunk anyway?

He sat on the edge of the bed and took deep breaths, ignoring the assault of the sounds of daily life going on outside his little cabin. He sucked in several lungfuls of air, willing himself not to vomit. Things swam around him and his heart pounded awkwardly in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus.

"Lei?" he murmured softly, hating the sound of his voice and the effort involved in articulating speech. "Lei?"

He listened for what felt like ages, hoping she would not be too loud when she responded. His memory of yesterday was decidedly fuzzy, even before the drinking. True, it was thanks to the drinking that he was suffering some form of short-term memory loss, but the admission was no solace or comfort at the moment.

He shifted around gingerly, wincing as the frame of the bed creaked. Stiff and sore, he moved like a man several hundred years his senior. His stomach sloshed like it was full of salty sea water and he choked again, fighting the urge to empty it suddenly on the floor.

"Lei?" he called out somewhat more loudly this time. He tried to think of where she might be. He pushed through the cotton in his head to recall the events of the night before. He and Keung had fought the thugs who were terrorizing the marketplace, defeated them and seen that they were put in the small secured hut that served as a prison in Pei. True, it was mostly utilized to allow drunken people to sleep off their folly, but every once in a while it was put to use as an actual prison. The four men were kept in irons and were being questioned by the town's 'guards', that being six men who were not particularly good at farming or any useful crafts.

Lei and Min had seemed annoyed with the boys after the fight and had run off together, probably to try and make their fiancés jealous. If he had been in better shape it probably would have worked. Right now, though, he was in no position to feel anything other than nauseous. He knew that their girls had their own little hiding place behind a barn just outside the town. He and Keung had spied on them there several times when they were younger, curious to see what the girls got up to when they were by themselves.

But then he and his friend had been carried off to the wine hall, to celebrate their triumph over the drunken thugs and drank themselves stupid. He had little or no memory of anything that occurred after the girls ran off. Fleeting images, maybe, but no more than that. Damn, he must have been shit-faced.

He stood slowly and scowled as he felt twinges around his body. Through partly-closed eyes, he examined his skin- were those pinch marks on his arms and stomach? He felt the same kind of discomfort on his behind. Who the hell had been pinching him and why?

The fire in the hearth was burning low and a cauldron of boiled water now sat cooling above it. He walked over stiffly and using a ladle took several slurps of water to try and clear his head.

Bad idea. He turned and stumbled over to a brass pot and collapsed to his knees, retching into the vessel for several seconds. Finally he rolled over and collapsed on his bad, breathing heavily. The world swam around him for some time before equilibrium returned. Several minutes passed and he just stared at the back of his eyelids patiently. When he felt he might survive, he opened his eyes and slowly rose. Standing erect hurt, but he knew if he was going to function he needed to push himself.

And where the hell was Lei?

He managed to drag some trousers onto himself and went to the door. Gripping the handle, he took a deep breath and prepared himself for the sun…

He opened the door and paused, seeing that Keung was standing there, about to knock.

"Wow, you look like you got eaten by a yak and crapped off a cliff." Keung observed. "Rough morning?"

"Like you're doing any better," Guiren said sourly. "You look like I feel."

"Fair enough," Keung admitted. "Let me guess, Lei isn't here?"

"No, so that means Min's missing too," Guiren muttered, completing his friend's thought. "Where did they get off to?"

"Well, knowing them, they went to their hiding spot, but that was yesterday. It's nearly mid-afternoon now, so you and I have slept through most of the day. No one has seen them around town and just assumed they were at home with us."

"Even if they were trying to piss us off, they would have gotten hungry eventually, especially Min." Guiren mused. "Guess we'd better check the barn, then."

Guiren put on a shirt and the two friends set off to find their girls, but not before donning wide-brimmed conical straw hats to shade their eyes from the murderous bastard called the sun. People waved or bowed as they walked by, often smirking. Whatever had happened last night had clearly amused them.

"Not sure I want to know what went on in the wine hall," Guiren growled to his friend as they walked through the town. "We may never live it down with the girls."

"Then let's hope they were never there." Keung replied, waving warily to two young ladies who strolled by, calling his name and blowing kisses to him. Guiren squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment as two men called to him cheerfully and held their hands behind their heads while making thrusting motions with their hips. What the hell were these people going on about?

"We're dead." Guiren moaned as they continued walking.

They took the small dirt road out of the town and cut across a field to where an old abandoned barn sat. The place had once grown fodder for horses and cattle but had been abandoned for several years. Keung and Guiren had recently discussed what could be done with the property, rather than just letting it fall into ruin and become an eyesore.

They walked around the side, knowing that two rickety wooden walls enclosed a small area in the rear. Bales of straw were stored here and the girls made it their little hideaway, coming here ever since they were little. As far as the boys knew, the girls thought it was still a secret from everyone.

"What do you suppose they were doing back here all last night and today?" Guiren wondered aloud.

"Things they've kept secret from the town for years, same as ever, I imagine." Keung replied. "Remember that time we got on the roof to look down on them and they were-"

"Can we not talk about this right now?" Guiren growled. "I have a headache."

"I thought that was a woman's excuse," replied his friend cheerfully, apparently having mostly gotten over his hangover. "Now let's take a look, shall we?"

They reached the secluded area and paused, because the girls were not there. They stared stupidly for several moments, their brains still slowed by last night's alcohol consumption. Guiren finally moved forward, looking around inside the enclosement, as if expecting the girls to jump out of hiding.

"They're not here, Keung…" he said finally.

"Yes, I see that," Keung replied, looking at the ground. "What do you make of this, though?"

Guiren came back to where his friend was standing and stared at the ground with him. Straw was spread around in chaotic patterns and ground into the soft earth. Guiren looked back at the straw bales and noticed that they seemed unusually disorderly as well.

"Looks like a fight," Guiren offered. "Did they get in a fight? Do our girls fight?"

"If they're fighting then I'm pissed that they do it when I'm not around." Keung replied. "But I'm not so sure they were fighting, at least not with each other."

He knelt down and pressed his finger into what might have been a boot print. He frowned at it for some time, trying to discern what had happened.

"I think there's a lot of those prints around," Guiren said, looking about them. "How old do you think these prints are?"

"How the hell would I know?" Keung replied, scowling. "Do I look like a scout to you?"

Guiren pinched his eyes shut, trying to think. "So the girls aren't here, they aren't anywhere in town and there's boot prints we can't account for."

The two men rose, looked at one another for a moment and began heading back into the town. Whatever remnants of their hangovers remained were dispelled quickly as dreadful images of what might have happened took hold. Apparently the looks on their faces told the townspeople something was wrong, because they cleared out of their way quickly instead of stopping to pester them, as was their recent habit.

The friends headed directly to the prison, outside of which stood two of Pei's six guards. Both them were sitting on small stools with spears in hand when Guiren and Keung approached. They stood up and nodded their heads.

"We need to see the prisoners." Guiren said grimly.

"Do you have permission from the elder?" asked one of the guards. "His instructions were that no one-"

"Get this through your thick skull, Hu, you moron," Keung hissed, suddenly in the man's face and glaring. "You are letting us in there and you're doing it now or I am jamming that spear sideways up your ass. Now open the fucking door!"

Shaken by the normally jovial Keung's vitriolic demeanor, the guard named Hu nodded and hastily unlocked the door and allowed the two men to pass through. Keung and Guiren barged in and scowled as the four brutes they had defeated the day before lay on the hard dirt floor. They were manacled with their hands behind their backs and they feet all chained together. Two of them seemed conscious and groaned as the light of the sun flooded into the dark little room.

Without another word, Guiren knelt down next to one and gripped his by the collar of his tunic, glaring down into his eyes. "First and only chance, you piece of shit," he growled. "Where are the girls?"

The man scowled. "The fuck are you talking about? What girls?"

Guiren slammed his fist across the man's jaw in fury, knocking him out. He dropped him, letting the man's head bounce off the hard-packed earth floor.

"Fat lot of good you'll do as an interrogator." Keung said dryly as he took his prisoner of choice by the scruff of the neck. He also produced a knife from somewhere on his belt and held it to the man's face. The thug's eyes went wide.

"You need to understand that I am more patient than my friend here," Keung said quietly, making sure the thug could see exactly how sharp the knife was. "I'm going to make you talk and if I need to make you bleed to do it, that's fine by me."

"But… but we don't know anything about these girls…" the man said hastily. "How would we? We've been in here since yesterday when you fought us!"

Keung paused, hating to accept the ruffian's logic but unable to deny the simple truth of it. He tried hard to think of more questions to ask. "Do you… do you and your fellow morons here have friends? Y'know, other morons who we didn't see in the market?"

He was interrupted by a nasty-sounding chuckle form a third ruffian, who sneered at him while lying on his side. "Of course there are, you fool. This whole region is swarming with our men now. Now that we've come here, your little shit town an' everything else is gonna belong to us."

"Who the hell are you?" Guiren growled, kneeling now in front of the prisoner and gripping his cheeks hard.

The man laughed disdainfully and jerked his head away, breaking Guiren's grip on his face. "Who we are is your new masters, pig," he snarled. "Our boss is Yan He, the son of Yan Baihu, rightful lord of these lands. Yan He will take back what is his and the Sun family will pay for everything they've done."

"And where are our girls?" Keung asked quietly, kneeling now next to the man and pressing the knife to his cheek. If the thug was intimidated, he didn't show it.

"If they're lucky, dead by now," he scoffed. "If Yan He gets hold of them, they'll-"

The man went rigid and began to shudder and choke suddenly as Keung coldly rammed the pommel of his knife into the man's larynx, cracking it and causing it to swell until the man suffocated, thrashing madly for some time. Then he lay still. The other conscious ruffian looked on in horror, a dark spot growing on the front of his trousers.

Keung got up and silently exited the room, followed by Guiren, who seemed equally grim. They walked out of the hut without a word to the guards and headed straight to the house of the town's elder. They frowned as they saw dozens of people standing outside the elder's home while the wizened man spoke to a stranger.

The man was dressed in riding breeches and a worn tunic but wore a wide-bladed dadao on his belt. Tattoos adorned his arms and neck and his ears were pierced. He carried himself arrogantly, as if he was used to being obeyed. Guiren and Keung pushed their way through the crowd so they could hear what was being said.

"So if you know what's good for you, you'll begin to immediately send the money and goods that Yan He is entitled to," the man was saying, looking at the elder before turning to the crowd. "Y'hear that, you lot? Yan He's your new master an' if you don't show respect, you're gonna pay for it!"

"Elder, who is this?" Guiren called out as he got to the front of the crowd. He was not willing to come closer yet, in case the man struck down the elder with his sword.

The old man made slowly to answer but the stranger cut him off. "You new or are your ears full of shit?" he sneered. "Yan He has moved into this area and your little town is now under his thumb. We took two girls from here last night an' we're keepin' 'em. If you want them to stay alive, you'll do as you're told. If you don't care, then Yan He'll use 'em up and send back what's left."

Guiren's eyes flashed in fury and his fists clenched but Keung held up a staying hand. "How do we know you're with Yan He?" he demanded. "What if you're just using his name to sound bigger than you are? Those four morons were took out yesterday sure as hell didn't seem like they were good enough to run with Yan Baihu's heir."

The ruffian paused upon hearing that the men sent to Pei the day before were subdued but then he laughed. "Taking out four of us is no big deal, believe it. There's so many of us that Yanping Vale can hardly hold us all. We're gonna-"

He didn't have enough time to finish his boast because Keung and Guiren lunged in and attempted to subdue him. However, this man was no mere ruffian but a skilled warrior. He stepped away from them as he drew his sword and slashed at Guiren, compelling him to swerve away while Keung received a vicious kick to the stomach. Undeterred, the two young warriors lunged in again, heedless of the danger to themselves and determined to make sure the man could harm no others.

Keung grunted in pain as the wide blade creased the skin of his chest, leaving a long but thankfully shallow laceration. With a strength born of burning agony and desperation, Keung held onto the blade, pinning it to him while Guiren tackled the thug, bearing him to the ground and pummeling him mercilessly. The man sought to fend off the frenetic assault but Guiren's fury would not be stayed once he saw his friend wounded. Before long, the thug was beaten unconscious. People crowded around while one of the men of the village examined Keung's wound. It looked ugly was could be treated easily.

"Tie this son of a bitch up!" Guiren hissed, still sitting atop the man. "Keep him away from the others, put him in my hut and make sure he is under a constant watch! And make sure he can't speak!"

Several men bound the ruffian and dragged him away while Guiren knelt next to his friend. He scowled as he looked at the long, ragged wound.

"Why do you always have to outdo me?" he complained. "I get myself a great scar at Wang Jou that Lei loves and then you have to go and get a superficial but more impressive-looking wound to show me up. And to make it worse, you do it here in Pei! How am I supposed to compete with that, you bastard?"

Keung laughed gingerly while allowing cut to be cleaned. Guiren yelled for people to stop gawking and go get the village apothecary. Several people sped off while the rest slowly dispersed. He then sighed and looked at Keung. "Are you gonna be alright?"

"I need to be, don't I?" Keung replied, smiling. "We have to go and get the girls before anything happens to them."

"I doubt you'll be any use like that, though. You going to come along just to encourage me?"

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Keung coughed. "Go back to my cottage and look in the bottom of the chest that has the Kilin painted on it. There should be a little jar of that unguent crap that sergeant used on you for your wound at Wang Jou."

"How the hell did you score any of that?" Guiren asked, his eyes widening.

"Actually, it's the same jar he used on you," Keung answered, wincing as a cloth steeped in hot water was applied to his wound. "I requested it from him and he muttered something about we'd probably need it more than him anyway."

"So once your wound is dressed you'll be able to use it and function. Good, I'll be right back." Guiren said, rising and sprinting off. He made his way down the dirt road through the center of town and came to his friend's abode. He went in and immediately found the chest Keung had indicated. He rummaged around until he found a small jar of yellowish jade. He opened the lid and sniffed the contents, immediately recoiling and making a face. Yeah, this was the stuff alright. It smelled like a demon's ass.

By the time he had returned to Keung, the village's apothecary and healer was there, along with the old seer woman Puo was standing over him, mumbling prayers and shaking her staff, which jingled with the small river shells that were attached to it. Guiren knelt down next to him and nodded, indicating that he had the unguent.

"The wound is clean, but I must mend it now before he loses more blood," said the healer. "I will move him to my shop and then-"

"No," Keung hissed, getting the man a firm look. "Just do what you have to do right here and now."

"But, Master Keung, the pain will be considerable," the healer protested. "And there is the potential for dust from the outdoors to get in the wound and infect-"

"Fucking doing now or don't do it at all, you got that?" Keung snarled, looking at the man balefully. "You're one of the smartest men in this village, Shen, take a hint already! Fuck the pain, fuck the herbs and drugs to dull the pain, just sew me up!"

Shen considered and nodded finally, looking around at the villagers. "Find clean sheets and bring them here to surround us and minimize the chance of dust and dirt entering his wound. Go quickly!"

The healer began preparing his tools to mend the wound while Guiren knelt close and gripped his friend's hand, nodding encouragingly. Keung was drenched with sweat.

"Well this will certainly go a long way in forming your legend," he said to his injured comrade. "Unwilling to be stayed from rescuing his beloved, Master Keung chose to forego all anesthetic or comfort and allowed himself to have his great wound sewn up in the middle of the street. No pain was too great for him to endure."

"And here you claimed you didn't have a flair for poetry," Keung said, wincing and gripping Guiren's hand tightly as the needle went under his skin. "Don't worry, I'm sure you will have plenty of chances to acquire an equally impressive wound before this little adventure is over."

"I guess we need to figure out what to do next," Guiren muttered. "The girls will be in real trouble already."

"Let's hold off on too much heavy thinking just yet," Keung said through gritted teeth. "I might not be very objective right now."

Guiren nodded and waited patiently. It was nearly half an hour before the wound was closed and Keung rose to his feet unsteadily, supported by his friend. People were still waiting nearby, obviously concerned but giving them the space they needed.

"Master Keung," said the healer. "If you do not lay down you might-"

"There's no time for that," Guiren said firmly. "The girls have been kidnapped by Yan He and something needs to be done."

"But what?" asked one woman, her face pale. "What can we do against an armed force like that?"

Guiren and Keung were silent for several seconds, admittedly at a loss for what to do immediately.

"Should we contact the garrison?" suggested one man nearby. "They might be able to handle this."

"The garrison is nearly two hundred li from here, it would take them days to arrive." Keung said grimly. "No, we cannot wait."

"But except for you and Master Guiren, with maybe the six appointed guards, none of us are trained to use weapons," protested another man. "We cannot fight this army!"

"Nobody said anything about fighting these thugs," Keung shot back. "Guiren and I will go and get Min and Lei back. The rest of you, send our fastest young riders to notify the garrison and tell them to come to Pei immediately. Tell them that Yan He, the son of Yan Baihu, is attempting to control the region. Go!"

A young man who was a decent rider sped off. Unsure of what else to do, the rest of the villagers slowly dispersed, leaving the heroes to come up with an idea. The only people who remained with them stood nearby, the parents of Lei and Min. They waited in quiet expectation, to see what their future sons-in-law would do. Keung and Guiren stared back.

"So?" began Lei's mother quietly, her face betraying no emotion as yet. "What do you two intend to do about our daughters?"

The two warriors walked slowly forward and prostrated themselves before their elders. Keung did so with difficulty but managed it.

"As our own parents we will honour you and we will bring back your daughters unharmed, even if it costs us our own lives." Guiren said humbly.

"I hear thee," Min's mother said gravely. "Come back with our precious children or come back not at all. Now is the time to prove your heroism, not merely allow rumours of it to get you by."

The four parents turned and left them. They were now alone in front of the elder's house and they sat up, a sense of responsibility weighing down on them. Keung was somewhat pale but he sighed and nodded his head. "I guess we'd better get going, then. Every moment we delay means the girls might be harmed. It's already been nearly a full day they might have been taken."

"How do you want to proceed, then?" Guiren asked, helping his friend up. "I'll have to remove your binding to apply that salve."

Keung nodded and allowed himself to be led to a small bench beneath a gazebo, away from the dust or the road. He was deep in thought while Guiren removed the bandages gingerly and smeared the salve on his friend's wound.

"In just a minute or two you'll start to feel it."

"What's it like?" Keung asked.

"Weird to be honest," Guiren replied, his nose wrinkling at the disgusting smell of the stuff. "Once it gets into your system, it feels like your head pops off and floats around your body. You still feel the pain but your mind doesn't really give a shit, you know?"

"Hopefully it won't impair my judgement too much," Keung mused while his friend bound the bandages back around him. "As far as what we must do, well… our options are to wait for the garrison, simply charge on in and attack, hoping our audacity takes them by surprise, or sneak in and get the girls out somehow."

"Well, we can't wait for the garrison, the girls might be dead by then and we aren't good enough at fighting to take on all the bandits in Yanping Vale from the sounds of it, we're not Sun Ce. That leaves sneaking in and getting them out. That is our best bet."

Keung sighed and nodded his head. "Alright, then. We'll bring bows, spears and some short knives. Leave that damned prize sword of yours behind; if we die then we don't want Yan He to have it as a memento in any event."

"Do you think this is any more dangerous than attacking the Immortal Blades?" Guiren asked.

"Probably not, but it's not a set-piece battle, either, and we'll have no back up." Keung admitted. "It's… it's alright to be afraid, right?"

"I'd be worried about you if you weren't, my friend." Guiren said firmly, echoing his friend's fears with his own. They had no idea what they were up against and they were two against Heavens knew how many. In all likelihood, they were going to die. "Do you remember any inspiring words we heard at any point?"

"About winning against impossible odds? No…" Keung replied. "But I remember hearing the barbarian Lord Elryk say something that his scribe translated."

"What was that?"

"I long for death, not because I seek peace but because I seek the war eternal."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Guiren muttered, scowling.

"I'm no expert, of course, but it is my understanding from brief words with some of Lady Qiao's Valiant Cavaliers that the Bailangren believe in an afterlife where warriors do nothing but fight and feast for eternity."

"Sounds ideal for them, doesn't it?" Guiren said, sighing. "But what of us?"

"Maybe the same applies to us," Keung suggested. "We have a great task set for us, one that is noble and requires bravery. If we were to die, we would certainly be rewarded by the Heavens for our efforts. Perhaps a place as heroes in the Celestial Army?"

"Like Sun Jian, you think? Maybe that wouldn't be so bad."

"Then all we need do is try our best and show our worthiness to stand in such company. True, succeeding would be preferable, but let's make sure that we don't bite off more than we could chew."

"On that point we agree." Guiren said darkly, looking off in the direction of Yanping Vale.

---

Night had fallen and the two warriors were moving across the fields and plains that separated Pei from Yanping Vale. They carried their weapons and some other supplies they thought they might need for their mission. They had ridden horses as close as they dared before dismounting to minimize the risk of detection. They were hiding in some tall reeds near a creek when Guiren looked at his friend and noticed a rather insipid grin on Keung's face.

"What's with the stupid smile?" he asked.

"The goop you smeared on me seems to have kicked in," Keung replied. "That's some good shit, isn't it?"

"Just try to stay focused," Guiren hissed, peering out through the reeds. "It looks like the sentries begin not far ahead."

Keung nodded. "They'll be expecting any movement against them to be by a larger force, probably the garrison. They won't be ready for two guys sneaking in after their little prizes and then sneaking out again."

"So we should do everything we can to avoid the patrols, but not at the expense of moving quickly," Guiren mused. "The sooner we're in and out, the better. But… what will happen when they see the girls are gone?"

"If we do a good job, they'll assume that the girls escaped on their own and fled back to Pei. They might come in force, they might not. Hopefully by then the garrison will have arrived and we'll be ready."

"But taking down some guards if the opportunity presents itself might be a good thing too," Guiren suggested. "Fewer of 'em later if we have to fight them again."

"Agreed. We'll just make sure that they're isolated and can't raise the alarm."

They crept forward again, spears held in one hand and knives in the other. Their short hunting bows were slung across their back, along with a quiver of arrows. Neither man was terribly puissant with the weapon, never having more than rudimentary training with it in the Wu forces and only using it for occasional hunting before that. Guiren was the better shot and if it came to sniping at the enemy, he would be the first to shoot.

The moonlight bathed the field in a blue glow and they saw a sentry not far ahead. He was by himself and wandering about carelessly, looking at the sky. Keung pressed his spear haft gently against Guiren's forearm, indicating that he should stop and then move around to the left. Guiren nodded and snuck off through the tall grass.

Keung crept forward through the grass, moving behind his target and getting closer. His eyes narrowed as he pictured his knife piercing the back of the man's neck, felling him before he could make a noise. The man was carrying a short sword and had a small shield with him, held lazily at his side.

Keung was moving quickly and was maybe nine spans behind the man when he stepped on a twig, which snapped loudly. The man spun around to see what had made the noise and saw Keung, his eyes going wide. Desperate to keep the man from sounding an alarm, Keung threw himself forward from his awkward crouch and thrust out with his spear. The point pierced the hollow at the base of the man's throat and he staggered backward, stunned.

Keung was on him like a tiger, bearing him backwards and slamming his knife down repeatedly into the man's chest before he could make a sound. Guiren rushed up and found his friend sitting atop the corpse, breathing heavily, his face pale.

"Well, that was elegant," muttered Guiren, shaking his head. "A couple of more assassinations like that and the whole camp will be down on our heads."

"Hey, I got him, didn't I?" Keung shot back, scowling at his friend. "Next one will be better."

"With any luck we won't need there to be a 'next one', but I somehow doubt I'm that lucky." The two men moved the body quickly and quietly to some nearby bushes and prayed that it wouldn't be found. They then continued on their path to Yanping Vale.

They had to the tall reeds and grasses where they could, always moving toward the hills that guarded their destination. Guiren sighed in relief as clouds began to obscure the moon, meaning they would be harder to see. Of course, this also came with the drawback that the enemy would be harder to see as well, but at least he and Keung knew to look for them.

"This one's mine," he said quietly as they spied another sentry, standing alone and leaning on his spear, looking out into the darkness. "Keep your bow ready."

Keung nodded as Guiren moved off to the left, to approach his target form an oblique angle. He dared not try to get behind the man, since he could not see far enough ahead to know if another ruffian was nearby. He slowed his approach as the man looked in his direction, hunkering low. He could tell by the man's posture he was somewhat more alert than the last one they had encountered. His timing would have to be precise.

He waited until the sentry had turned his head away before he made his move- still too far away for an assuredly lethal strike, his spear snaked out and struck low on the shaft of the man's weapon, knocking it to one side. Deprived of his support, the man gasped in surprise and toppled, hitting the ground hard. Guiren leapt swiftly onto his back and clamped onto his throat, pulling back to expose it and slashing his knife blade across the tender flesh. He ignored the horrible noises the man made as he suffocated and drowned in his own blood.

"Good take-down, my friend." Keung said as he crept up. "Certainly more finesse than mine."

"Yours might have been prettier if you hadn't snapped that twig, but yes, for now I am better than you." Guiren said as they resumed their mission. Moving forward, the hills grew closer and without further instance. While the bandits no doubt kept watch, Guiren and Keung doubted that they were worried about being attacked. Any force large enough to threaten them could be spotted easily, even at night and there was no reason to assume that the local settlements could send any sort of armed sortie against them. Their vigil, therefore, was understandably complacent.

They reached the cover of the hills and concealed themselves behind a rock outcropping. Between two hills off to their right a path led into the valley while the hill they were at the bottom of was crowned with an elevated wooden platform meant to keep vigil on the plains beyond. As far as they could tell, though, the platform was unoccupied.

"Well, the hills will be slower but we're less likely to be noticed," Keung pointed out as they hid. "We should keep moving. The less time we spend here the better."

"You going to be okay doing this?" Guiren asked.

"What choice do I have?" Keung replied as he began moving up the hill, keeping a low profile. His wound still ached but the pain was not enough to stay him. The moon came out from behind the clouds and they paused in their ascent, lying flat on the ground. The moments weighed heavily on them, seeming to drag on endlessly before the clouds once again obscured the bright silver orb from view.

Voices reached them from the path not far away, several men conversing casually. Keung held up a hand and they stopped, listening for any information they might find useful. There seemed to be plenty.

"S'pose Yan He'll let us take a poke at 'em once he's had his fun?" one man asked.

"Who the hell can say?" replied another. "Guy's an even more greedy bastard'n his father. I should know, I served the old man until the final siege where he got captured."

"Fat lot of good that loyalty did you," sneered a third. "Now you work for his son an' you're just waiting for sloppy seconds like the rest of us."

"Those two girls might be worth it, though," remarked the one who was apparently a veteran. "Both young an' nubile, neither one of 'em has had a kid yet an' talk about feisty…"

"Well, tonight's the night the boss is gonna take 'em, so he says," announced a fourth. "I hope he doesn't kill 'em like he did the last one we took, I want a shot at the one who calls herself Lei. She's my type."

"Yeah, she's breathing!" laughed the first, causing a general round of laughter. Keung saw his friend's hand tightening on the haft of his spear in fury and put a reassuring hand on Guiren's shoulder to calm him.

"Let them talk," he whispered. "The girls seem to be as yet unspoiled and these morons are not the ones who are gonna do it. Wherever Lei and Min are, they'll be near Yan He, who plans to take them tonight. So we will need to find wherever he keeps himself."

"So into the tiger's den we go." Guiren growled. "Our luck's been good so far, but no we're going to have to penetrate the best defended part of their camp, seemingly. I swear, if I'm dying tonight, I'm going to make sure the girls escape and I take at least twenty of these bastards with me."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," Keung commented as they resumed their crawl up the hill. They reached the top without further incident and peered down into the valley below. Though much of their view was obscured by hills and trees, they could see the remains of a small settlement within the moraine, centered around a dilapidated siheyuan. There we several campfires throughout the valley floor, in what the two recognized as a standard military encampment.

"I guess I was hoping for a little more disorganization than they are displaying." Guiren said sourly as they surveyed the scene. "I guess I should be thankful that they sentries were lax, but now comes the challenging part."

"In the dark we might be able to get close unnoticed," Keung said, peering intently at the encampment. "The camp setup's a standard one, though, look. Remember that pattern from when we camped in Houjin Valley up north?"

"Yes," Guiren replied, understanding what his friend was getting at. "We snuck out of that camp unnoticed because of the gap in the campfires and got totally shitfaced with Pan and Jiao. There's the gap over there…"

The indicated gap was not too far from them and offered the warriors their best chance of entering the camp undetected. The moved forward as quickly as they dared, wary for any nearby bandits. The siheyuan grew closer and lights could now be seen within.

They paused in the shadow of some trees as a group of ten men strolled by, only half of them carrying weapons other than knives. They too were commenting on the girls that had been brought to the camp and what a prize they had been. Apparently they had put up quite a fight and were still proving feisty.

"Yep, it's Lei and Min alright," Keung said blithely as they let me men pass and then scurried to the deep shadows provided by a cart behind a shed. "At least we know they aren't hurt." He knelt and assessed the manor's layout, hoping to draw some conclusion as to what they should do next.

"Do you hear crying?" Guiren asked, tilting his head to one side. "It's real faint, but I think it's coming from behind the siheyuan. I think it's Lei."

"We'll try to reach the back of the manor without being seen, then," Keung concluded. "If we find the girls, we get them the hell out as fast as possible. You and I can hold off anyone who tries to follow."

They scuttled to the other side of the encampment, praying fervently that they would not be noticed. They had been taking careful notice of everything they came across, from the number of bandits to what the functions of the various makeshift buildings seemed to be. At one point in the distant past, this encampment had apparently been a village, possibly the domain of some long-forgotten monks who desired to be hidden and sequestered from the world. The original layout was certainly orderly enough to suggest this.

Guiren could see that Keung was sweating and took the lead, mindful that his friend was hurting more than he let on. Remembering the pain of his own wound during the battle of Wang Jou, he knew what a strain this was for Keung.

Soon they were near the manor and as yet undetected. Behind the main building was a smaller hut and it was from that the crying was emanating. A small vegetable garden sat beside the ramshackle edifice and within it stood a guard, who was attempting to peer through a slatted window into the hut.

"Will you two shut up already?" he growled at whoever was within. "Trust me, if you keep cryin', Yan He's gonna slit your throats tonight after he's done with you and then the rest of us won't have any fun tomorrow. Y'wanna live? Shut your damn mouths already, or at least let me give you something to put in 'em!"

Guiren clamped his hand over the man's mouth from behind and drove his knife into his stomach, pulling up, hard. The man stiffened and them spasmed before going limp. Guiren rolled him onto his back and glared down into his eyes, readying to stab him again before Keung scurried up and whispered hastily.

"Dammit, Guiren, you can't keep getting mad every time one of them says anything about the girls!" he hissed as he pushed his friend off the body and pulled it out of sight. The nearby campfires presented a real danger of exposure and they could not lose their heads now. "Control yourself, man!"

Guiren drew a deep breath and sighed, nodding. They had been lucky no one had seen him. It was a damned foolish thing he'd done, letting his temper get the better of him. Perhaps it was the strain of what they were attempting, coupled with his fear for the girls and their own lives being at risk, but he had really wanted to bleed that thug to death, slowly. He composed himself and waiting while Keung examined the hut.

Keung motioned to Guiren, who joined him near the door. The ill-fitting aperture was ajar and a single brazier sat on the floor, illuminating the room dimly. Keung dared to peek in and saw the girls sitting on the floor together, holding one another. They seemed dirty and maybe a little roughed up but showed no other signs of immediate harm. Their feet were bound together, as were their hands and fastened to a stake.

While Guiren watched for signs of trouble, Keung carefully opened the door as much as he dared and stuck his head in, keeping low to the ground. He tossed a small pebble into the room and it landed against Min's foot while she was holding the crying Lei. The girl's eyes turned and widened slightly at the sight of her fiancée. He made a gesture that she should remain put and she nodded, leaning down and encouraging Lei to cry a little louder while giving her an assuring squeeze on the arm.

As Lei sobbed louder than ever, Keung snuck into the room and began cutting the ropes they were bound with. A subtle knock against the wall outside told him to hurry up. Once freed, the girls rose and rubbed at their wrists and ankles, having been bound for several hours. As much as he wanted to, Keung restrained from holding Min just yet. He held his spear in one hand, his knife in the other and indicated that they should follow. Lei continued to cry, in the hopes that no one would come to investigate just yet.

Keung, Lei and Min snuck to the door to join Guiren and in spite of the danger the two couples took a moment to embrace. The warriors trembled with relief to see their wives-to-be unharmed and the girls clung to their men fiercely. Guiren finally released Lei and whispered to his companions.

"This isn't over, we're still in a lot of danger," he said, his eyes grim. "We've killed three of these bastards on the way here, which leaves…"

"Over three hundred," Min answered. "Trust me, no further heroics from you two are expected. Tell Lei and I what to do and let's get out of here."

They all froze as a door beside the hut opened, letting someone out of the manor. Whoever it was hummed as they loosened their trousers and began to relieve themselves. Lei and Guiren peered around the corner of the hut to see what was happening. The girl's eyes narrowed and she turned back to her friends.

"It's him," she said quietly. "It's Yan He. I know we need to get out of here, but…"

Nothing further needed to be said. Guiren and Keung both stepped around the corner and took hold of the unsuspecting bandit lord. Keung's hand clamped over the man's mouth while they rammed their knives into his back, puncturing his lungs. Yan He shuddered, his eyes wide and then slumped, dead before they let him down to the ground.

"Get the girls ready," Keung said, kneeling next to the body. "I'll be right there."

Guiren made sure the girls were ready to move and they waited patiently in the shadows for Keung. He finally joined them, a hemp sack tied to his belt, the bottom of which was developing a sticky dark spot that dripped and oozed. Min made a wry face but said nothing.

"Now if we go back the way we came, we run the risk of encountering foes more readily but our escape will be quicker. If we strike out for the forest ahead, we risk fewer encounters but the road home will be considerably longer."

"Keung, can you make it if we take the longer route?" Guiren asked. His friend was starting to get pale and sweating profusely. Both girls looked concerned as they really noticed his condition for the first time.

"I would prefer it, since I think that a longer trek would be easier to endure than a pitched fight from running into enemies. Let us play it safe."

They began to head further into the vale, planning to circle widely around the bandit encampment and then race back to Pei. Guiren stayed to the front while Keung took the rear and they kept the girls between them, first for their protection but also because they didn't want the women to see how pale Keung was or how profusely he was sweating. Indeed Guiren was worried for his friend but there was not much they could do just yet. Keung had to hold out until they were assured a modicum of safety.

Along the slope of a hill they hurried through the darkness, rounding to the outside of the hills that demarked Yanping Vale. The clashing of cymbals and confusion could be heard behind them now, coming from the encampment, though what puzzled them is that they were certain they could hear fighting.

"I guess they've discovered Yan He's body and now think it was an inside job." Guiren mused as he led them behind the trunk of an ancient fallen tree. He stood guard, peering over the obstacle while the two girls tended to Keung now. He was indeed almost white and his skin was clammy. Min stroked his cheek in worry.

"With any luck they'll all kill each other and leave us alone," Keung grunted as Lei pulled away the red, wet bandage on his chest, straining to see the wound by moonlight through the canopy of trees. "Guiren, you got any of that glop left with you?"

Guiren nodded and applied more of the salve to his friend's wound. Both girls backed away as the offensive odour assaulted their noses, with Lei scowling and pinching hers shut with both hands. He noticed that a few of Keung's stitches had broken and he was bleeding again, though not too badly as yet.

"I don't suppose either of you spotted any horses nearby," Min asked as she helped to redress the wound. "At least one that we could put Keung on."

Both men shook their heads. If remembering to look for mounts in order to effect a speedy escape was part of common tactical planning when it came to subterfuge, this had escaped both of them and clearly more learning was required. Given that they had made this much progress, though, neither warrior was terribly upset by this revelation, although how much had been good luck as opposed to good management had yet to be determined.

"We'd better keep moving." Keung said as Guiren helped him up. "As happy as I would be to leave behind no survivors, we should not bet on it."

"You should rest, love," Min protested, looking very concerned and trying to stay him. "Your wound-"

"Isn't gonna heal any time soon, Min," he said tightly, giving her a firm look. "If we wait, I'm just gonna lose any vigour I have right now and then you'll have to leave me behind. We can't afford the time I would need to get any useful rest now."

Min seemed like she wanted to argue for a moment but then relented. She did, however, stay close to her betrothed as they began making their way east once again, from outside the vale. Keung's eyes seemed distant as he staggered to keep up.

"There's no good shelter between here and Pei," Lei said grimly. "What if we… Guiren, there's an abandoned rice mill north of here. What if we stayed there for the night?"

"Why do you know about an abandoned rice mill all the way out here?" he asked, looking at her in confusion.

"Min and I found it a few years back and would sneak off their occasionally to-"

"How the hell many hiding places do you girls have?" Keung groused, wiping sweat from his brow as they paused to discuss their options."

"None of your business, male," Min sniffed. "But I believe Lei is right. We cannot run back to Pei in one night, not with Keung in his condition and frankly I am sure we could all use a rest. Life hasn't exactly been relaxing for us either."

Both men conceded the point readily, since their concern for their fiancés' wellbeing had been what dragged them out here to begin with. Even if the girls had remained inviolate during their captivity, it would hardly have been a pleasant experience.

"It shouldn't be too far from here, just along the edge of that stream," Lei said, pointing at a glittering thread of water not far away. "Maybe two li form here."

"And if they know it's abandoned, they'll probably not think to search it in any event." Guiren remarked. "That does, however, mean they'll probably look to Pei, once they realize it wasn't treachery from within."

"We'll deal with that when we get back," Keung said, allowing himself to be led northward. "Until then, let's just make sure we all survive the night."

Indeed a small mill and cottage could be found not far ahead and they entered the ramshackle structure quickly, with Guiren keeping watch. The one small bedframe was rotted away, but large hemp sacks of rice provided something for Keung to rest on while the girls found whatever blankets or covers were available to rest on. Keung hissed in pain as the girls laid him down, but once prostrate he seemed a little more at ease. The sound of the remains of the milling wheel creaking through the stream's sluggish water was all they could hear.

"We'll rest as much as we can here and then strike out again." Guiren said, finally daring to relax, if only for a moment. "Keung, is there any sense whatsoever in asking you how long you'll need to rest?"

"Give me until dawn," the wounded man said. "Then you can sleep and we will head out again tomorrow night once the sun has gone down. We'll push on until we reach Pei. If the bandits don't find us by then, they never will."

Guiren nodded. "I'll take first watch until the sun rises. We'll see how things look then."

Keung nodded and closed his eyes, drifting off quickly with Min curled next to him and whispering lovingly. Guiren stood at the window and gazed south, seeing very little but acting as sentry more out of principal and military discipline rather than benefit. Before long, he was joined by Lei, who stood beside him.

"I see now that you and Keung really are the heroes that you had been made out to be," she whispered, contemplating the darkness. "While I never really doubted it, I admit it is wonderful to see it first-hand."

"You should rest, my love," Guiren said, still looking out the window. "You must be exhausted from your ordeal and tomorrow we must-"

"I will stay with you, Guiren," she said firmly. "Our lives may end tomorrow if those fiends catch up with us and therefore I intend to spend every waking moment I can with you. Do not deny me this."

She moved in front of him and snuggled back, rejoicing in the feel of her lover, whom she had so keenly missed over the past two days. She didn't mention it right now, but she was trying to think of ways to keep him from leaving back to the army if they survived this crisis. He had proven himself and she required no more, other than he stay alive. She didn't need a mighty war hero, all she needed was her brave husband.

As keen as his eyesight was, Guiren could see very little of consequence out there. Lei decided she had a better use of his time and subtly reached behind herself to undo his trousers.

The rabbit of the moon smiled down on the lovers that night.

---

Dawn broke and Keung blinked. His chest was stiff and sore, to be sure, but he felt well-rested at least. He turned his head to see Min lying next to him, covered by hemp cloth. The morning seemed warm and the dank smell of the cabin was the first thing he noticed. His mind somewhat lazily covered the events of the past few days, some of which seemed like a dream to him, possibly due to the narcotic effects of the unguent that had been used on him, possibly due to blood loss. Either way, it was somewhat unreal to him.

At least until he tried to sit up.

He hissed quietly as he raised himself into a sitting position, a burning sensation in his wound flaring up and he winced as he felt a stitch pop. He took several deep breaths and looked around. Min had not even stirred as he roused himself and as for Guiren…

Keung shook his head as he noticed his friend sleeping next to the southern window, spooned against his equally naked fiancé. Somewhat stiffly, he walked over to the lovebirds and nudged Guiren with his foot.

"Hey, bare-ass, get up."

Guiren snorted and looked around dumbly, trying to figure out where he was. He finally recognized the naked form of his girl glued to him and made to move before pausing. He looked up at Keung in embarrassment.

"Uh, could you… turn around, maybe? I've gotta… pull-"

"Oh, just shut up and get it over with already." Keung muttered, rolling his eyes as he turned around to give his friend the requested privacy. He heard Guiren moan and Lei gasp as she woke up, followed by a small, somewhat animated and irritable exchange before they both stood, putting on their clothes.

"Sorry, I fell asleep," Guiren said sheepishly. "The sergeant would kill me if he was-"

"Well, Sergeant Chen is not and I don't blame you," Keung said amiably as he went back to Min and nudged her. "After all, it's been a long few days for all of us and we should thank the gods no one discovered us. Besides, what would you have done if they had? We couldn't flee, fighting would have been hopeless."

"Maybe, but at least I could have fought valiantly to protect you all," Guiren grumbled. "How will people remember this? You got that great wound and made it home in spite of losing all that blood while I fell asleep on watch. That sounds pretty terrible to me."

"We just won't tell them that part, I imagine." Keung replied as he gingerly helped Min to her feet. "Now much more relevant to me is the question of food. As in, how do we procure some?"

"I have some dried meat strips in my pouch," Guiren offered. "How about you?"

"Nothing but a severed head in a bag, I'm afraid." Keung said, causing Lei to make a face. "Something tells me any rice we find here will be a long time bad, so we should search the immediate area for small game or edible plants."

"Let Lei and I handle that," Min said, picking up Keung's bow and quiver of arrows. "We were always better shots than you two anyway. You two keep a watch from the second floor and try to plan our next move."

"Yes, sergeant, right away, sergeant…" Guiren muttered as the girls left. He helped Keung up the stairs to the second floor of the small mill and took a look out over the fields around. His gaze turned to Yanping Vale and he convinced himself that everything seemed peaceful. They could see the girls not far away, discussing some plants they had found.

"If we leave at dusk, we might be able to make it back to Pei by tomorrow morning." Keung mused as they noted the terrain. "If we take it easy today, my strength should hold out for that sort of trip."

"I'm amazed you're conscious at all." Guiren replied, sighing. "You've lost a lot of blood, you know."

"Looks worse than it is, I might point out."

"True, if you had stayed behind and rested, like a normal man, instead of hiking to a valley full of bandits, getting into fights and then running home with our girls in tow." Guiren countered. "Grim determination really beings out the mettle in a man, obviously."

"Well I sure as hell wasn't going to let you hog all the glory on this one," Keung said. "If we pull this off, we'll be legends forever."

"Yes, but it doesn't take much to be a legend in Pei," Guiren reminded his friend. "Before us, our big hero and local legend was old Chao fifty years back, who managed to scare off that wild boar that was terrorizing the town by throwing rocks at it."

"That's not the skeletal pig-thing that's mounted in the wine hall, is it?" Keung asked, frowning.

"The same."

"But… that thing's so damn small," Keung protested. "It can't weigh more than a hundred pounds, it's little more than a fat piglet. That's what everyone was so frightened of? You and I have eaten bigger pigs while on the march."

"Like I said, it doesn't take much to be a hero in our little town." Guiren replied dryly. "So if you and I do indeed survive this, we'll have good reason to consider ourselves heroes, comparatively speaking."

"Well, it's not only a matter of getting ourselves and the girls home now," Keung grimaced. "The bandits'll eventually come against Pei, so we need to be ready for that."

"Yeah, that thought occurred to me too." Guiren agreed. "Problem is, I'm pretty sure that everyone except you and I and the girls are cowards. They couldn't fight the bandits if they wanted to."

"Four against a few hundred, eh?" Keung mused, smirking. "A valiant death that would be. With any luck, though, the garrison will have arrived by then and can effectively deal with our foes. Let's hope for the best and plan for the worst until then."

"You're the new officer, then. What do you recommend?"

Keung gazed about and smiled when he saw Lei and Min holding up some fish they had caught from the stream, along with some wild sprouts from a nearby field.

"Lunch, I think…"

---

Sundown had come and the little group had set off, heading east as the moon watched over them. Now much refreshed and in good spirits, Keung had little difficulty in keeping up with the others, especially since Min had applied the salve to his wound once again, although she bemoaned the fact that there was little they could do about the stupid grin it put on his face.

They kept a good pace, stopping only when necessary for brief rests or if they heard anything. The girls complained not a whit, keeping the short bows and arrows handy while the boys kept their spears. Guiren, who had the keenest sight in the dark, took point while Keung once again brought up the rear. There were never any more than ten paces between two people, in case something came upon them unexpectedly. The two warriors found that the tension of all this creeping around and worrying about being spotted was taking a toll on them and they almost yearned for straightforward combat.

Hoofbeats…

Guiren motioned for everyone to stop and stay low, weapons ready. They waited silently until a dark shape came into view. A figure on a light horse came galloping by, a slender spear in his hand. He had just passed their position when Guiren sprang up, calling at his back.

"Stop where you are and drop your weapon or we will shoot you dead!" he said fiercely. The horseman stopped quickly back then came about, his spear ready in hand. He spotted Guiren and pointed at him.

"Identify yourself, intruder! Speak quickly or I will lay you low!"

"Drop your weapon!" Guiren snarled angrily, knowing the girls were aiming their bows at the man already. In spite of Guiren's threat, the man did not comply but spun his spear about in a skillful circle, his horse snorting defiantly.

"Come and face me then!" he challenged.

"Guiren, wait!" Keung said, emerging from his hidden position nearby the man. "He is using the horseback version of Tang Lung Cheung!"

"So?" Guiren shot back, scowling. He wasn't really interested in a trivia lesson at the moment.

"The bandits wouldn't know that style, stupid!" Keung pointed out. He looked at the horseman, his spear held up where it could be seen. "Are you with the Wu garrison?"

"Who wants to know?" demanded the stranger.

"I am Keung Shang of Pei, along with Guiren Heng and our fiancés, Lei and Min. We have recently escaped from the encampment of Yan He, the bandit lord and son of Yan Baihu."

"Keung? Guiren? Is it really you?" asked the man incredulously. "It is I, Gao Ci of the garrison! Do you remember me?"

"The scout, yes," Guiren said cautiously, approaching with his spear levelled. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

"The garrison received your message and is en route," Gao Ci explained, lowering his spear. "I was sent ahead to scout the way and ascertain the threat. I had stopped in at Pei on my way through and once I had been told of your excursion I must admit I held little hope for your safe return."

"Neither did we, but there you go," Keung answered. "Has the garrison reached Pei yet?"

"No, not yet," Gao Ci admitted. "They are moving steadily but cautiously, so as to not fall into any traps the bandits might set, we were under the impression that they outnumber us."

"They might have numbered as many as three hundred the other night, though we are hoping their ranks are reduced due to some infighting we heard as we escaped." Guiren stated, wishing the garrison would hurry up. "Are all one hundred men coming?"

Gao Ci nodded. "On horseback."

"And the bandits have no horses, we believe, or very few." Keung mused as he waved for Guiren, Lei and Min to approach. "Gao Ci, I understand you were supposed to scout ahead towards Yanping Vale, but I believe I have an idea that might prove more useful to us all. I need you to go back to the garrison commander."

They gathered close to discuss Keung's plan, watched over by the stars.

---

A single small platform maybe twenty spans high constituted the town's only watchtower and the person currently occupying it bashed loudly on a brass gong when he saw the four approaching. People from the village gathered to see what he was raising the alarm for and began to shout and cry out in joy and relief as Guiren, Keung, Lei and Min approached. Guiren supported Keung, who seemed pale but grim and the two girls ran hand in hand, tears on their faces as they spied their parents.

While Min and Lei reunited with their families, the two warriors were swarmed by the people of the town, who asked them countless questions they were in no mood to answer. Guiren shoved people out of their way, determined to get Keung to a place where he could rest in comfort, at least for a while.

"Everyone leave us alone!" he called loudly. "We'll meet you in the market square at mid-afternoon! Until then, give us time to recover! Send the apothecary to Keung's home!"

Somewhat reluctantly, the people of Pei dispersed, whispering amongst themselves and staring as much as they dared. They two couples and their parents retired to where Keung and Min were staying , waiting patiently while the apothecary examined his wound and fixed the stitches that had burst. The man sighed heavily, but knew better than to insist that the warrior remain in bed. Once finished, he bowed humbly and exited.

"Well, you two have certainly demonstrated your bravery, mitigated perhaps by foolishness." Min's father commented as he watched his daughter tend to her beloved. "You have indeed retrieved our daughters, but it is very likely you have provoked Yan He's wrath and brought his bandits down upon our town"

"What exactly were we supposed to do, old man?" Keung groused from the bed, scowling at his future father-in-law. "Did you expect Guiren and I to attack the bandits by ourselves and slay them all?"

"Is that any way to speak to your elder?" Min's father demanded angrily.

"When he is being a damned fool it is," Keung snarled, wincing as he tried to straighten up and confront him. "Those bandits would still have come to Pei even if Guiren and I had never been born and taken the girls. What then? We faced the bandits alone because anyone else in this town would piss themselves at the prospect, we killed their fucking leader and brought your daughters back and the best you can do is criticize us? Exactly what the hell were you expecting?"

The older man bristled indignantly but said nothing, knowing that Keung was right. Against all odds these two boys have braved death and retrieved their brides. Potential father-in-law or not, he had no business impugning their achievement. He sighed and bowed his head, knowing he had let his anxiety get the better of him when he spoke.

"Keung and I have already been in contact with the garrison, they know of our situation," Guiren said, trying to calm everyone's frayed nerves. "What we need to do now is tell the people of Pei what we must all do."

Min moved from Keung's side to embrace her father. The elders all nodded, promising to assist however they may.

Midafternoon came and a throng of villagers were assembled in the market, as Guiren had instructed. He and Keung stood atop the basin of the dragon-pig fountain and waited patiently while everyone drew close. Much recovered, Keung now drew himself up and addressed the people of Pei.

"It is inevitable that the bandits of Yanping will come here, seeking either revenge or our submission," he said, casting his gaze over them and noting their fearful expressions. "And it is true that we cannot readily stand against them. Therefore, Guiren and I are advising that we all prostrate ourselves when they arrive and show them our obedience."

Many people muttered in astonishment. They had not expected to hear this from the heroes of Wang Jou.

"You do not intend to fight?" called out one person.

"Do you expect Guiren and I to fight them by ourselves and somehow defeat them?" Keung pointed out. "Will you take up arms and stand beside us when they come?"

"But… you are members of the Wu army, you are our protectors!" protested a woman. "Should this not be expected of you?"

"You can expect it all you like," Keung said, giving her a pointed look. "And once Guiren and I have been killed, they will come for you and you will pay for our defiance. The men and elderly will die, the women carried off to a fate worse than death and the children made slaves. What then?"

Several people cried out in alarm as he made this statement. Suddenly, surrender didn't seem so bad.

"Just do as we tell you and we will get through this." Keung said in as assuring a tone as he could manage. "In the meantime, we want you to begin gathering supplies together for presentation to the bandits. It may deter their wrath if we can buy them off."

People were still murmuring but most seemed to assent, encouraged by the notion of somehow surviving this ordeal.

"Keep a constant watch from the tower, we want to know the moment they are headed our way." Keung announced. "Take four hour shifts and I personally will skewer anyone who falls asleep while on duty!"

The townsfolk dispersed. Guiren and Keung looked at one another wearily.

All there was left to do was wait.

---

They heard the clash of the gong ringing out over Pei some two days later. An armed mob was approaching the town. Guiren and Keung had just sat down to the midday meal when the alarm sounded. They sighed and hurried to the edge of town, assuring people along the way that everything would be fine, one way or another.

"Min, you and Lei need to remain behind." Keung said to his fiancé, taking her gently by the arms and holding her in place.

"Why?" she demanded, scowling. "We are of the people of Pei, is this not our fight?"

"It is a fight that we are trying to avoid," Keung replied earnestly. "If the bandits see you and Lei, they're far less likely to be reasonable since they'll consider you stolen property and they'll know that we took you back by force."

Min had no response to that logic and acceded to his wishes. Unwilling to be left totally behind, though, the two girls hid in a house near the edge of town and watched from behind shuttered windows. Leaving their girls concealed, Guiren and Keung put on long cloaks and gathered with the throng on the edge of the town, awaiting the bandits.

The mob that approached was ragtag and variously armed but more than a few were wearing armour and carried real weapons. Several wore colours or motifs that indicated an allegiance the house of Yan. Keung and Guiren observed silently.

"What do you think, maybe two hundred?" Guiren said quietly to his friend as they watched.

"That's a full third less than their original numbers," Keung whispered back. "Hopefully the ones we can't account for are dead back at the camp or were forced to remain behind. Still, two hundred is a lot."

As the bandits approached, the town elder moved forward and knelt, bowing low.

"How can the humble village of Pei assist you, masters?" he asked in a quavering voice.

The man who was now in charge called out in a gravelly voice. "If you people want to live, you're gonna have to pay! We own these lands and if you want our protection, then you better give us what we want!"

"But we have so little, master," the elder protested. "We are poor, we barely produce enough food to-"

"Like I give a shit!" snarled the bandit, who had a fresh, ugly gash across his cheek. It had been given to him very recently. "Unless you want your little village to be a smoking ruin tomorrow morning, you'll shut the hell up and start bringin' out everything you can."

The elder looked back at the people of Pei and nodded. Several men ran back into the town and began hauling out sacks of foodstuffs and crafts or clothing. The bandits all laughed and jeered and mocked the cowardice of the townsfolk. Soon a sizeable stack of loot was positioned near the elder. He once again bowed humbly.

"This… is all we have readily available, master," he intoned. "Do you deem it sufficient?"

"Not quite," said the bandit leader, wrinkling his nose. "We're gonna choose ten girls to take back with us. They aren't yours anymore. Resist and the rest of you will simply die."

"I've got a different offer." Keung called out, standing now and striding forward, accompanied by Guiren. They both removed their hemp cloaks, revealing their Wu army uniforms, the gold trim glittering in the midday sun. The bandit lord's face contorted in confusion as he watched the two of them.

"Here's my deal for you," Keung continued, standing in front of the elder now, between the bandits and the villagers. "You leave Pei and this region alone and I'll give you back this…"

He reached down to his belt and a sack tied onto it. From within he drew forth a gory trophy and tossed it toward the bandit lord. His men gasped in astonishment as Yan He's head goggled up at them. The lank, black hair was plastered to the sallow skin. The sunken eyes were wide and the jaw slack, a look of what could only be described as shock on the face.

"So unless you want to end up like your former leader, you'd better get the hell out of here and never come back. You think you're smart enough to figure that out? The Wu army has this place under its protection now."

The bandit lord's face contorted in rage and he drew his sword, an action many of his troops copied. He was about to give an order when an arrow sped forward and buried itself in his eye. He was thrust backward and collapsed amongst his men. He trembled and then went still.

Keung looked at Guiren, who was still holding his bow, glaring at the ruffians.

"Wow, good shot." Keung commented, grinning.

Just then, horns sprang up from around the plain and the woods behind the bandits. Men on horseback wearing the colours of Wu emerged in squads, carrying spears, shields and bows.

"Villains of Yanping!" called out the sergeant who commanded the garrison. "You are surrounded! Lay down your weapons and surrender if you do not wish to perish! The justice of Lord Sun Ce awaits you!"

An ugly and brutish man with many scars yelled loudly and charged toward Guiren and Keung. The two warriors waited, regarding him coldly. The air hummed and the brute staggered and fell, with four arrows in his back. Horns sounded again and the garrison troops began to close in. Panic reigned amongst the bandits, many of whom began to throw down their weapons and cry out for mercy. Several made of sterner stuff began to slay their less brave compatriots but before the cavaliers had reached them, all those remaining alive have surrendered.

Cheers arose from the villagers of Pei, elated that they had thwarted the danger facing them. Guiren and Keung were mobbed while the garrison quickly and efficiently went about the duty of putting the bandits in chains. Hoisted once again onto the shoulders of the men of the village, the two heroes received their accolades, all the while waiting for their girls to emerge. Lei and Min did indeed come rushing up, hugging their valiant warriors excitedly amid the cheers.

Eventually, though, Keung held up a hand and the crowd quieted down and parted before them while they approached the prisoners. Bound at the wrists and ankles and forced to their knees, the ruffians waited silently. The garrison commander, still astride his horse, nodded to the two warriors as they regarded their foes coldly. Moments later, the village's watchmen returned with the remaining prisoners Keung and Guiren had taken over the past few days. The ruffians gaped in astonishment as they spied the tattooed warrior being brought forward. He glared hatefully at Guiren and Keung.

"I guess you lose," Keung said, smirking as he leaned in close to the man. "Yan He's head is ours and I'm pretty sure your head's gonna belong to Sun Ce, even if he spares all the others. Sucks to be you."

He watched as the bandits were led away. The garrison commander dismounted and nodded as he approached them. "I don't know if they'll actually make it to Baifu or not, to be honest. They'll be hard to control and the capital's a long way away. We might be able to get them as far as Wu Ling, but I will probably have to exercise my judgement in this matter. Many will be beheaded, I can guarantee it."

"At least make sure that the head of Yan He makes it to Lord Sun Ce, with our respects." Guiren said. "We worked hard for that one."

"What you two accomplished was pretty remarkable," remarked the commander. "Though it was not technically a military action, remember to fill out a report so we can make sure your commanders are aware."

The two men clasped their fists in their hands and bowed their heads. Nearby, the girls and their familes watched proudly. Everyone waved as the garrison rode off, leading the bandits on foot. Keung sighed contentedly as they disappeared into the sun.

"Not a bad day's work, I think," he said. "Damned far sight more satisfying than working on the dragon-pig fountain."

"A lot less dangerous too, at least if you're not the one underneath it." Guiren added, causing his friend to laugh heartily before wincing as he popped a stitch. Everyone paused, though, when the old shopkeeper Yao approached them, bowing humbly. Guiren and Keung nodded to him, wondering what the cause of the interruption was.

"My young friends," he said in a trembling, emotional voice. "You have saved us from disaster and are surely to be ranked as heroes of the first order. Though Pei is small, your deeds would be found most worthy anywhere in this wide land. No gift could ever convey the town's gratitude adequately, but please allow us to try..."

He now knelt and presented Guiren with a small wooden box, carved with birds and having a bronze clasp. The young warrior opened it and his eyes went wide.

"The people of Pei all pitched in and bought the pearl that was meant to be part of your lovely bride's dowry. The pearl itself is valued at twenty tael of gold, I hope you find it a worthy token..."

Guiren said nothing but looked at Lei, who had her hands clasped over her mouth in shock and tears in her eyes. He gestured for her to come over and he gently pressed the little box into her hands.

"No gem will ever come close in value to how much I treasure you, but I hope this dearly-bought pearl might in some small way express my love and devotion, Lei..." he said quietly. "I give it to you freely, as it was given to me by our town."

Lei looked up into his eyes for a moment before her own rolled into her head and she fainted, slumping to the dusty ground.

"Wow, you sure have a way with words, obviously," Keung said as he joined his friend in staring down at the unconscious girl. "Maybe I should do all the talking if we ever become nobles, you think?"

Guiren just sighed, really wishing he had some beel right now.

---

The two men turned in their saddles to wave at the townspeople as they made their way east, heading back to the garrison. Their vacation was over and the reality of military life and sworn duty awaited them. The girls had wept piteously, begging them not to leave, although this was mostly for show in front of the townsfolk, making the exit of the two heroes more memorable than ever.

"So what do you think awaits us upon our return?" Guiren mused, pulling a peach out of the small sack on his saddle and taking a bite from it.

"Hard to say, really," Keung answered, missing Min already. "If anything can make our lives more interesting than the past few weeks have been, it's gonna be the Southlands army. There'll be more training, for sure, and I have to learn basic command and stuff like that."

"I imagine the New Year will see us on campaign again," Guiren muttered. "I suppose it's our own fault for getting into fights while we were off-duty, so I can't complain too much."

"Not to mention we're real heroes back home now and the garrison commander said he'd make a full report of the Yan Hu incident." Keung added. "Not many people can say they get noticed for their heroics while on vacation."

Guiren was silent for a while, lost in thought. "I still wish she had kept the pearl, you know?"

"She is keeping it, dopey," Keung replied, shrugging. "All she did was send it with you so that it can be fitted into a proper silver or gold setting, which will only happen in a major city, yes? At let's face it, no one else in Pei will be visiting any outpost of civilization any time soon, shi?"

"True." Guiren admitted. "Do you really think that the townspeople will somehow manage to build this mansion for us that they keep babbling on about and promising?"

"It sounds really nice, for sure, one wing of the siheyuan for you and Lei while min and I have the other," his friend said cheerfully. "Will it happen, though? Only if Lei and Min keep on top of the lazy bastards about it, I imagine. And knowing our fiancées, they will."

"I almost wish they wouldn't," Guiren muttered. "Can you imagine the dimwits of our town trying to build a real siheyuan? We'll be lucky if they don't build it inside out."

Keung didn't care this time that he popped a few stitches laughing.

---

Sergeant Chen assessed the two of them inside his tent from behind his low table. His face betrayed nothing, except maybe a hint of dismay at their presence in his life once again.

"Even when you're on vacation you two fuckups can't stay out of trouble," he grumbled, gesturing to the scrolls that now adorned his table. "Baifu wants to know what happened, as does the commandery in Changsha. Do you two think I don't have better things to be doing?"

Guiren may have known better than to say anything, but Keung had used the last of his jar of salve maybe an hour before and had no such compunctions.

"C'mon, sergeant, since when is having two folk-heroes in your unit ever a bad thing?" he asked, grinning stupidly. This salve really was amazing stuff.

The sergeant's eyebrow twitching was the last thing he would remember for some time.

---

Author's Notes: Given the rather sweeping and epic spectacle represented by The Young Conqueror, I must admit I am having fun tackling the Three Kingdoms era and wars from a smaller perspective. Our heroes will find out that being a real hero is not all glamour and glory, which anyone hanging around Sun Ce too much is entirely likely to begin believing.

Yes, the little town of Pei really is that backward. Yes, they are literally the first heroes the little town has ever produced. Featuring an almost exclusively bumpkin population, I am hoping our heroes' interactions back home will provide some levity and contrast to the terrible wars that await them.

They never did finish fixing the dragon-pig fountain, did they? Oh well, one more thing on the list to ask their good buddy Sun Ce for when the chance arises, right?

Hope you're enjoying the fic!

- Management