Entry no. 34: Tears

Here it comes! Late again (it's almost ten p.m. here, for god's sake...), but I had fun today so maaah, it doesn't matter, sorry... ;P

Thanks a bunch to whitewind04578 (if I misspelled, I'm terribly sorry.) and LilyVampire (oh my god I have loyal reviewers that's so cool.) for reviewing!

So, to answer your reviews (I hope you'll read it...):

Whitewind04578, I honestly still can't belive you guys find that oneshot (Death) good, but I'm so glad you do! I'm sorry that you had to go through something like this, someone close to me did as well so I at least somewhat know how it must feel like. And... well... I'm really glad you like my stories. It's hard writing about emotions you never experienced first-hand, so I'm glad I'm mostly doing well.

LilyVampire... well here comes the attempt at NaruHina. Please don't kill me or poke me with a pitchfork. I promise I will try again! And... entries 35 and 36 are probably going to be something drastically different, since I'm afraid my writing changed again... I'm going to lose you guys... no one is going to like them...

Anyway.

Enjoy!

Here comes NaruHina so bad it's not even NaruHina, but there are hints. Red AU.

It was unexpected, and even though it wasn't anyone's fault, it was inevitable.

Because there are a limited number of times a person can survive a close call before they run out of luck.

Because a sword to the heart brings even the most brave of shinobi to their knees.

This time it was Naruto's turn to give in to death, instead of laughing it in the face. And everyone wished it wasn't. Without Naruto, they were doomed.

Tsunade told him, everyone told him many times that using rasenshuriken could damage his body permanently if he used it too many times. Naruto knew it. He knew, but that didn't prevent him from using it to save his teammates when it was necessary, thus rendering himself unable of protecting himself from that fatal attack.

He saved them from the first wave; the second was on its way.

Hinata knew it and she also knew she should be there standing with her teammates in a tight circle around Naruto's body. Because Naruto gave them a chance to survive this and they sure as hell should make good use of it.

But there was no way they were going to make it. There was nothing they could do anymore.

So Hinata cried.

She should be fighting to honour Naruto's memory.

But all she was able of doing now was crying atop his lifeless body, her tears seeping into the fabric of his jacket.

She should be fighting, because that's what Naruto-kun would do.

But the tears kept on coming, paralyzing her as the chilly wind made the wet trails on her cheeks sting.

"Hinata-san."

Hands fisted in the orange fabric that just didn't seem so bright when it wasn't accompanied by Naruto's smile, she cried. She cried her heart out. She cried her love for Naruto out of her body, soaking his jacket like the blood from his wound.

The tears spilled for Hinata's love had as much life in them as Naruto's blood did.

Someone shook her shoulder.

"Hinata-sama. Hinata. Come on."

When the love was gone, washed away from her body, she didn't feel empty. She was just aching.

There was so much more to lose. So much more for her to abandon before she became as empty as Naruto's dead body was.

She always wanted to be the same as him. This was her best chance at it.

"Hinata. Please. They're coming, Hinata."

The tears kept on flowing down her cheeks. Her pain, her mind, her future, her sanity, her strength... all gone.

Where was her nindou now?

To never run away again; she promised it to herself years before.

Where was it now?

"Hinata, come on. We promised. We promised him."

She knew. She knew it.

But the promise was gone with the tears, gone with Naruto's life. What does a promise mean to someone dead?

"You said you don't want to run away."

Why couldn't they just leave her alone?

"Hinata-sama, get up. Pull yourself together. We're Konoha shinobi. We won't give up. We won't be kneeling here waiting for them to slaughter us. We will take as many as we can with us. Right? That's what Naruto-kun would want. That's the Will of Fire."

Tears. Tears. An unending flow of tears.

Nothing else mattered anymore.

Not even the sound of the second wave approaching.

The hand slipped off her shoulder.

"Years ago, you said I'm the one who's wrong."

What does right and wrong mean when Naruto is dead? What does it mean when all she can feel are the tears streaming down her face?

"It's not true anymore."

They were all dead already; all they could do now was lay down and cry.

"I thought you were strong, Hinata-sama."

Naruto was her strength; and now he was gone.

And the voice that tried to coax her into getting up left her as well.

Tears streamed, dripped, stained.

Salty, with bitter taste of failure.

Meaningless, but still the only thing that mattered.

Movement, all around her.

Quick motion behind her.

It will come now; her death.

"Hinata-sama!"

A sharp cry.

Dripping sound. Not tears. Blood.

Blood is your life, and the person sacrificed their life for someone who was already dead.

Foolish.

A thump right next to her startled her, and she slowly raised her head to look where it came from.

"Hinata-sama..."

Neji. Neji with a dozen kunai deep in his chest.

"Neji-niisan..."

A new flood of tears overcame her.

A hand on her leg.

"Not in vain..." Neji managed to say, his voice raspy. "Me and Naruto-kun... our deaths... please..." he looked at her pleadingly. There were dried trails from tears on his face. "Not in vain."

Hinata reached down and squeezed his hand slightly.

She wanted to. She wanted their sacrifices to mean something.

But she couldn't change reality. This was a death trap, and they could not escape.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Neji-niisan."

Neji's eyes started to close slowly. "Naruto-kun... knew. Nothing..." a tear slid down Neji's pale cheek. "Impossible."

Hinata set her jaw.

Nothing was impossible for Naruto. He was something special; something more.

And she was not.

"Forgive...me."

Tears blurred her vision as the hand in hers slackened.

There was nothing to forgive.

She shuffled, laying one hand on Neji's heart, one on Naruto's.

They both died for her. Valiant, foolish, dead.

What was the point of sacrifices?

Her life never mattered more than theirs did.

They just... selfishly left her, knowing that their last deed was great, letting her to make their sacrifices mean something alone.

Fools.

She activated her Byakugan.

Most of her teammates were dead.

There were five people circling her.

Her head ached from crying.

Her tears meant everything before, but now that Neji died, they were gone. She was angry and empty and suddenly there was no way to go but forward.

They left her. She was alone.

She stood up.

And alone she would remain. The reality mattered so little now; she wanted it to leave her alone.

They attacked her from all directions at once.

She was not going to let them disturb her.

She assumed the position, gathered her chakra.

It was time for her to fight.

The writer sincerely apologizes.

Peace, love and apologies,

Mo-ya-kun! (I'm watching romance anime right now, gomen.)