Chapter 8

What, precisely, had occurred in the captain's sleeping cabin, the day of Georgiana's miscarriage, had not been made known to the ship's crew. Yet although the exact details were not known, it was not long before what was known had spread through the ship: Mr. Clerkwell had been called early in the morning because the captain's wife was ill, and returned several times throughout the day; the captain himself had not left the cabin except for a few brief conferences with Lieutenant Rigby to ensure all was well with the ship; and Kelly had quietly thrown a bloodstained lady's nightgown overboard.

With these clues, the cleverest among the ship's crew had likely guessed what had happened. The less clever knew only that since that day Lady Stanton's brief appearances on deck had shown her to be pale and gaunt, her countenance nearly expressionless, and that their captain had replaced his usual expression of kind seriousness with one of grim sadness, similar to the one he had beheld in Copenhagen a few months previously. They knew as well that in the great cabin in the evenings, the sound of pianoforte and cello mingled together could no longer be heard, which was further indication that the captain's wife was unwell. The Carolines, nearly to a man, had all served and fought alongside their captain for many years, they had cherished his baronetcy as a result of their greatest battle, to take a French seventy-four with the fifty-gun HMS Jupiter, and they in turn (incorrectly, for she had loved him before that event) esteemed his wife, seeing her marriage to their captain as a reward for that victory and baronetcy.

The Carolines, therefore, were most careful in their behaviour, seeking to avoid giving their captain anything else to worry over beyond the health of his wife, and as they were very nearly all able seamen, who knew what they would be commanded to do well before the command came, they were generally successful in this attempt. Unfortunately for them, there was one exception amongst the crew – one man who had not their competence when it came to seamanship: Lieutenant Holmes. Despite their attempts to spare him worry, their captain had returned fully to his duties, although perhaps with a shorter temper than he had possessed before, of which the Caroline's second lieutenant bore the brunt. Minor errors in the ship's sail trim, which might before have been overlooked, were now thoroughly criticised in the great cabin. These criticisms were legitimate, although not delivered so delicately as they might have been at another time, and they generally ended in unspoken frustration from both the captain and his second lieutenant.

These matters were set aside only because the ship suffered the effects of a violent storm, such that her captain was on deck nearly the entire time for three days, returning to his cabins only long enough to eat a little and see how his wife was faring, which was no better or worse than she had been before the storm. Lieutenant Holmes cannot be said to have acquitted himself any better during the storm than he had before it, but under her captain's watchful eye, the ship came through with little worse than a fished mizzen and two sails lost, along with some minor damage to her rigging.

It was under Lieutenant Egerton's watch that the ship sailed into Gibraltar, freely and elegantly, not pressed down by too much sail on her bowsprit and foremast, as was Lieutenant Holmes's tendency. She picked up the harbour pilot, she came in as a crack frigate should, and gave her salute with the exact promptitude that should be expected from such a ship.

Georgiana, watching all of this from the quarterdeck, wished once again that she could shake the fog that had enveloped her since that horrid day. She had wanted to travel to new places and here she was, looking up at such an amazing mountain, towering over the town and sea before it, in a warmer climate than the cold, steady drizzle that had seemed to comprise so much of their journey here. Yet she could muster no enthusiasm for their landfall. She thought of Paris, where she had travelled with Matthew after they had been married, and how happy she had been then, to be newly married to the man she loved, experiencing the continent for the first time. She longed to be so happy again, and yet it seemed even her memories could not dwell on such happiness, for she thought back further, to the Hundred Day War, to the times when Matthew's life and love had been in doubt.

That time had been worse – so much worse – she realised. If he had died, if he had not returned her love, how very sad life should be for her now, even considering the children she had lost. They could try again for another child, but there was only one Matthew, and she was with him now and had his love. This, Georgiana thought, this must be the thing she should always remind herself of, when difficult times came – and if Matthew was right and she took after her mother when it came to bearing children, they might come with some frequency. Matthew was worried about her, terribly worried, she knew, and she needed to start trying to shake this fog, she needed to attempt to be happy for what she did have, for his sake and her own.

Matthew was approaching her, dressed in his full uniform, and when he was near enough, he laid his hand on her arm and said, "I must go and see the admiral. I am not sure how long I will be."

Georgiana nodded, and said, in as hopeful a tone as she could muster, "Perhaps, when you return – if there is daylight enough – we might have a walk around, on shore?"

Matthew brightened at this, her first interest in anything since she had lost the child, and said, "Yes, of course. And if there is not daylight enough, we shall go tomorrow morning."

He was gone for the better part of two hours, and when his barge had hooked on to the Caroline and he had come up the side, he seemed to have a startled countenance. He saw Georgiana standing on the quarterdeck, awaiting his return, and indicated she should come down to the cabin with him. She did, and they were seated on the stern cushions, but he seemed at a loss for some time, until finally he took a deep breath, and spoke:

"The Alceste has been lost."

"My God, what happened? What of her crew, and the embassy?"

"During the storm, she ran afoul of a homeward-bound Indiaman, and was badly damaged. They tried to bring her into Funchal, but she could not be saved. Fortunately, the Indiaman was able to swim, and took off most of the crew and the men of the embassy. Six men were drowned, but that is an incredibly small number, for such an event."

"Thank God for that," Georgiana said. "But you seem concerned – what is the matter?"

"The Caroline is to replace her, in her mission," he said, running his hand through his hair in a most agitated manner. "The men of the embassy hired a schooner to bring them around to Gibraltar, to see what might be done about continuing their journey. Admiral Penrose knew he was due a frigate and indicated they should have use of it. They have been eagerly awaiting our arrival."

"Just like that, Admiral Penrose can order you to China?" Georgiana asked, as shocked as he had looked, and struggling to process this notion of the ship's going halfway around the world, rather than staying here.

"We were to be used at his discretion, and those are his orders," Matthew said, standing, and walking the length of the cabin in the stooped manner required of a tall man. "I know not what to do. I do owe a duty to my men, but my greater duty is to you, and I made you a promise, that we should never be parted. I had every intent to keep it, but I do not think I can be released from this assignment. There is no other that can take it; Maxwell, of the Alceste, might eventually, but he must first have a court-martial for the loss of the ship, and they are eager to depart. I will make the request, but if the request is not granted, my only option is to resign the service, and I do not even know if my resignation shall be accepted. I may be forced to leave you. Georgiana, I am so sorry – I never thought there would be a way in which I would have to break my promise to you."

His distress was so great she grew emotional with him, but Georgiana found she sounded strangely calm as she said: "Please do not worry over it any longer, Matthew. We will not be parted, for I shall go with you."

"Georgiana, are you quite certain? We are likely to be gone for more than a year – you would not see your family or friends, or have the comforts of your own country, in all that time."

"I will not say that it will not be difficult, to be so far from my family," she said, her voice wavering with tears at the thought, "but it is the best alternative. Your promise was that we should stay together, and we shall. I will not be parted from you for a twelvemonth."

Gently, she reached out and embraced him, seeking to calm and reassure him, deeply moved that he had been willing to resign the service to keep his promise, even in this scenario he could never have foreseen.

"You must tell me if you change your mind, after you have had a chance to think on it," Matthew said. "I know this must have come as a shock."

"I am not going to change my mind," Georgiana whispered, and for once she felt torn in her emotions over the baby, for surely if she would not have lost it, Matthew would have tried much harder to convince her to return home.

Georgiana's desire to walk on shore had been forgotten, in the news of the Caroline's being ordered to China and Matthew's need to discuss the ship's new mission with his officers. He mentioned it again over breakfast the next morning, however, and promised they should go as soon as she was ready – they would have their walk, and speak further on what she might need for a journey so long.

They were accompanied in the barge by Moll, Hawke, and Bowden, all of them by now having been informed that the ship was now to go to China and they were not likely to have any more than a fortnight to acquire all that would be needed for such a journey. Upon reaching the town, Georgiana found it to be small, but with every civilised appearance, rising a little way up the base of the mountain, and in possession of the same sorts of shops and establishments that could be expected of an English town of its size.

She made note of the stores selling fabric and thought to return to them later with Moll, for certainly she would have time during such a long journey for the projects she had planned, in decorating the captain's cabins. They found a shop where music could be purchased, and spent the better part of an hour there, then did the same at a bookseller, for Matthew warned her they were not likely to find much in the way of either music or books beyond the Cape, and so anything she thought might provide her with some entertainment during the journey should be purchased now.

Upon leaving the bookseller, they passed a tailor's shop, which, based on its window display, seemed to have some specialty in naval uniform. Matthew asked if she would mind terribly if they stopped, so he could be measured for new uniform jackets.

"Of course we may," Georgiana said. "Is there something the matter with your others? The one you are wearing seems perfectly fine."

"I shall require an admiral's uniform for this mission."

"I do not understand – you are much too far down on the captain's list to be made," Georgiana said, for as a post captain, his promotion to the next rank would be entirely dependent on seniority, which seemed to her one of the largest oddities in a profession filled with them.

"You are correct, but while I am in command of our little squadron – we shall meet the brig Lyra and an Indiaman, the General Hewitt, at the Cape – I am to be a commodore, and a commodore wears an admiral's uniform. It is a temporary command, only."

"Even if it is temporary, is this not a good thing? I would have thought you would be more excited over such a command."

"I would be more pleased by it were the circumstances different."

"Well, I am pleased by it," Georgiana said. "Matthew, I hope you will not continue to be so concerned over this voyage and what it means for us. I know you gave me the option to change my mind, if I did so on reflection, but I find on reflection that I am looking forward to the journey. I had wished to see the world, and now I am to see far more of it than I expected. And perhaps the distraction of these preparations was what I needed."

"Do you mean that, Georgiana? You do look far better than you have."

"I do mean it. Let this be our grand adventure together," she said, and led the way into the shop.

They made their return to the ship to find many of the seamen gazing up at the sky with some degree of satisfaction, where a larger pennant than the ship's usual one was fluttering in the wind. Georgiana suspected it had something to do with Matthew's being a commodore, and had this confirmed when Bowden said, "Aye, the broad pennant – the captain's a commodore, now!"

They found, as well, a thin, unkempt-looking young man, who had been waiting in the great cabin. Georgiana wondered that he had been allowed to wait here with no supervision as the young man stood, saluted her husband, and said: "I do not know if you remember me, sir – "

"Of course I remember you, Grant," Matthew said. "You will not have met my wife, Lady Stanton."

"I am very pleased to meet you, Lady Stanton," said the young man, offering her a scraggly bow.

"And I you, Mr. Grant."

"Now, please be seated, and tell me how you have come to be in Gibraltar," Matthew said.

"I was a master's mate on the Bulwark in the last war, sir, in the Med. When we had news of the peace, and that we was to return to Pompey to be decommissioned, Captain Haddington suggested I might have better luck finding another place was I to remain in Gibraltar, rather than competing with all the other young gentlemen in Portsmouth."

"I had thought you passed for lieutenant," Matthew said.

"I did, sir, but I have no interest – begging your pardon, sir, aside from yourself and Captain Haddington. I have not been able to find another place as a master's mate, or a mid, as it turns out."

"You have been here since the end of the last war?"

"I have, sir. I'm only thankful for my prize money, or I know not what I would have done about my board. When I heard the Caroline was here, and with you in command again – oh, and, sir, I have not complimented you on the Polonais, for what a victory that was, and how I wish I had been there! – I thought to come out straightaway and see if you had room in your midshipmen's berth."

This was delivered by Mr. Grant in a nervous rush, and when he had finished speaking, he looked to Matthew in a mixture of hope and fear.

"I will always make room in my midshipmen's berth for a young man with your qualities in seamanship, Mr. Grant, but in this particular case I will be very glad to bring you on, for we have been unexpectedly ordered to China and I am sure Mr. Travis will be in need of more assistance, for such a journey."

It was a tremendously pleasing thing, for Georgiana to see the relief that overtook young Mr. Grant's countenance, and it must have been even more so for her husband. With every expression of happiness and pleasure at returning to the Caroline, Grant made to take his leave, but before he could do so, Matthew had stopped him and asked if he had enough money to purchase a proper uniform, for although Matthew would not say it, the one Grant wore was in horrible shape. Grant replied that he had his best uniform stored at the Red Bull Inn, where he worked sometimes when they had need of extra help, to cover his board there. Matthew took out his purse anyway and gave the young man some money, saying it was an advance on his pay and he would do best to procure anything he needed for such a journey, then return to the ship to begin his duties. For this, Matthew was thanked profusely, and following another salute, Mr. Grant left the cabin.

"One of my mids, working at an inn, when he would have made as fine an officer as any I've had," Matthew said, in a disgusted tone. "What sort of world have we come to?"

"One where Mr. Grant now has a place on the Caroline, thankfully," Georgiana said. "What did you mean by saying he had passed for lieutenant?"

"There is an examination, which all young gentlemen must pass, which means they have the qualifications necessary to be a lieutenant, although it does not automatically mean they are promoted as such. Those with connexions will gain their promotion quickly, but the rest must hope for some action in which they can distinguish themselves. I wish Mr. Grant had been with us for the Polonais, for if he had fought well – and I have no doubt he would have – that might have been sufficient for me to aid him in a promotion, as I did for Campbell and Egerton. But I doubt he could afford to be on shore for so long as we were – I expect he sought a new position as a master's mate as soon as the Caroline was decommissioned."

"What a complicated world the navy is."

"It is no more complicated than the rest of the world. At least in the navy, a man does have some opportunity of advancement based on merit, and a chance to win his fortune. Both certainly appealed to me when I was a boy, although I cannot deny that I had a great deal more interest in my quarter than most young men do, thanks to my uncle."

They were interrupted, then, by Lieutenant Egerton's coming in and passing on an invitation from the admiral to dine aboard his ship that evening, where they would be introduced to Lord Amherst and some others of the delegation. Matthew told him to inform the admiral that they would be pleased to do so, but rather than leaving immediately, Lieutenant Egerton looked to his captain with rather a more eager expression upon his face than Georgiana had seen before, asking if Mr. Grant would be joining them on their journey. He was informed that Grant would be coming on as a master's mate, and left with a happy countenance.

"He and Grant were particular friends in the midshipmen's berth," Matthew said, sighing. "I only hope they can still be so, despite the difference in their ranks."

Georgiana had originally excluded ballgowns and dinner dresses from her trunks, when she had directed Moll as to what to pack for the journey, thinking them to be of little use aboard a ship where Matthew's officers would not know or care about lady's fashions. Mrs. Russell, however, had advised that it was likely she would be invited to dine aboard other ships, including those of the flag officers, and that invites to dinners and possibly even balls ashore might come to her. She had, therefore, had Moll pack another trunk with two ballgowns and a larger number of dinner dresses, and it was in one of these that she and Matthew were rowed in his barge, to HMS Bombay. Georgiana had seen a 74-gun ship before, but this was the closest she had ever been to one, and she was astounded by the size of it even before she was swung up in the air on the bosun's chair to a height much more substantial – and more frightening – than she was used to.

She was set gently down upon the deck, however, and Matthew was already there to assist her and introduce her to the man who stood before her, like him wearing an admiral's uniform.

"Admiral Sir Charles Penrose, please meet my wife, Lady Stanton."

"A pleasure, Lady Stanton, and a rarer one at that," said the admiral. "It is not so often as we sailors would like that we are able to take a lady in to dinner on board our ships."

"I am very pleased to meet you as well," Georgiana said. "May I ask how you would prefer I address you?"

"Ah, yes, your husband has one of these great mouthfuls of a name as well, so you are used to these things," the admiral said. "Not, I am sure, that he was any less desirous of his title than I of mine, although mine is a slightly more recent creation. I do still prefer Admiral Penrose, although I shall admit to a certain satisfaction in signing the letters after my name."

"As would any man, I am sure," Georgiana said.

"Shall we?" Admiral Penrose offered his arm and led her and Matthew to the area of the deck where a group of gentlemen were standing, most of them dressed in civilian clothes, although there was one man in a captain's uniform. This man was introduced as Henry Bazeley, the captain of the flagship, but the rest of them belonged to the embassy. Lord Amherst was introduced to her first as the Embassador Extraordinary, a handsome man, although not so much so as Matthew, to Georgiana's eye and heart. He was followed by Mr. Ellis, the Secretary of Embassy; The Honourable Jeffery Amherst, a page; Reverend John Griffith, the chaplain; and several other men who all held roles within the embassy. They were informed that Mr. Akers, the embassy's surgeon and naturalist, had been unavailable to dine with them that evening, and would be introduced on some other day.

With the introductions made, they went down to the admiral's suite of cabins, into a great cabin much larger than that of the Caroline and with a table laid in the highest quality. Georgiana felt quite strange, to be the only woman amongst such a large group of men – when Matthew had smaller groups of officers to dine with him, Mrs. Travis might be absent from their table, but never with a group of this size. They all seemed to be most gentlemanlike in their manners, however, which gave her some reassurance, for if she was to preside over Matthew's table for such a group, she wished them to be good company. She observed carefully what the admiral did, and what was served, for hints upon how she might do things.

After the soup, Admiral Penrose turned to her and said, "Has Captain Stanton secured your passage back to England yet? If not, please let me know if I may be of assistance, for he has done us quite a turn. I do not know what I would have done if I had to detach one of our existing frigates, with the situation in Algiers."

"I – I am not returning to England," Georgiana said. "I shall continue on with Captain Stanton."

Although larger than the dining table of the Caroline, the table was still small enough that any who wished to attend to this conversation could do so, and it seemed most of the gentlemen had interest in attending to it, which made Georgiana blush.

"Are you indeed?" asked Admiral Penrose. "Well aren't you a rare plucked 'un? I had no difficulty convincing Lady Penrose and my children to join me in Messina and Naples, but I should like to see the look on her countenance if I asked her to go to China. Pray tell, where are you from, Lady Stanton?"

"From Pemberley, in Derbyshire."

"Well, then I know where I shall recommend all the single captains of my acquaintance should go, when they are on leave. Go inland, to Derbyshire, I shall tell them, if you are in want of a wife!"

This occasioned a good deal of laughter down the entire table, and Georgiana blushed still further, although she liked that Matthew was gazing at her with some goodly degree of pride. Their attention soon turned from her to her husband, and it was not long until he was being asked to recount his action in capturing the Polonais. Georgiana had heard this retelling so many times she could have told it herself very nearly as accurately as Matthew did, but it still pleased her. She had understood from Matthew that Lord Amherst and Captain Maxwell had been friends, and in addition to the inherent trauma that must have come from the tragedy involving the Alceste, it surely must have been a disappointment to Lord Amherst that the new captain for his voyage was someone unknown to him. She wished Lord Amherst to know that Matthew was good and brave, someone to be respected and trusted, and was glad to see the baron seemed to be attending the account most closely.

There were a great many dishes and toasts before the dinner should wind to its end and they should all be deposited on the barges which would return them to the Caroline, for Georgiana and Matthew, and shore, for the embassy. After settling into the Caroline's barge, she overheard Captain Bazeley call out to the men of his barge that they should row dry, and as the men of the Caroline began rowing, she asked Matthew, "Why do you not tell your men to row dry?"

"Because I have a first-rate coxswain, who knows without my telling him so that if my wife is on board my barge, my crew should row dry. Is that not so, Cooke?"

"'Tis true, sir. Ain't no time since I or Bowden before me has been cox'un that the captain's lady wife nor the captain hisself has got splashed, and we ain't ta start ta'night."

The next morning, Georgiana found Matthew working furiously with pencil and paper at the breakfast table. She asked him what he was about, and he said, "Do you recall how many gentlemen were introduced to you, last night? Do you have any notion of where all of them are to sleep, on a frigate of this size? For if you do, I should greatly value your thoughts."

"I cannot admit that I have had any thoughts on it," Georgiana said.

"I shall give the day cabin over to Lord Amherst, and I am of hopes that his son can share the space with him. We shall all treat the great cabin as our drawing-room, where anyone who wishes to may sit, during the day. That does, however, mean I may need to have a private conference in our sleeping cabin with one of my officers on occasion."

"If you need to do so, just inform me so, and I shall go to the great cabin or on deck," Georgiana said.

"Thank you, dearest – that does away with one of my concerns," he said. "My next is that I do not believe I can continue to keep Moll Kelly in a private cabin."

"Where would she sleep?" Georgiana asked, in a tone of deep concern. "Not amongst the men!"

"No, of course not. I thought we might sling a cot for her in the great cabin, in the evenings. It would be a safe place for her, and she must rise early to attend to you, anyway."

"I cannot say she would not be disappointed at losing her privacy, but I think she would consider it an acceptable trade, to see so much of the world as she will see on this journey."

"That would leave me with four cabins, for the highest-ranking men in the embassy. I believe we can construct some manner of temporary bulkhead, before the wardroom, and those who do not have cabins may sleep there. Normally it is the space of the marines, but they shall have to move forward."

"How can the marines move forward?" Georgiana asked. "I thought the ship was at her full compliment."

"You have come to the crux of my problem, dearest. I need to create more space on my mess deck, where there is none. We shall have to have men sleep on the gun deck, and I think it possible that I should have to get rid of a few guns, at least, to create more space there."

"You do not like that," Georgiana stated, for it was clear upon his countenance.

"No, I do not. I know we are at peace, now, but we were at peace not so long ago, and then returned to war. I do not like the thought of removing some of the teeth from the wolf, so to speak."

"What about carronades?"

"You think exactly as I do." He looked at her fondly, and reached across the table to grasp her hand. "Georgiana, I cannot say how glad I am that you are to come with me on this voyage. This is not the sort of thing I can discuss with anyone else – even to my officers, I must appear infallible, and confident in all matters – and I am so very glad to have one with whom I may speak of my doubts, and receive such a well-informed contribution in return."

"Thank you," Georgiana whispered, blushing, for while she had always known herself to be deeply loved, it is no small thing for a lady to be so deeply valued, and she had been unprepared for such a response to what had seemed to her a simple question.

Matthew seemed to sense he had overwhelmed her, and continued speaking of the carronades and what number of men would need to be shifted where, until she had recovered a little and they were interrupted by Hawke's delivering a note to Matthew. This note turned out to be an invitation from Lord Amherst to dine at his lodgings on shore, which Matthew immediately wrote to accept.

This began a cycle of invitations between Admiral Penrose, Lord Amherst, and the Stantons, so that not a night passed until their final night at Gibraltar without all of the parties dining on the Caroline, the Bombay, or at the house Lord Amherst had let. Only on their final night in Gibraltar, with the Blue Peter flapping gently in the breeze and making clear the ship was to depart with the morning's outward tide, did Georgiana and Matthew dine quietly by themselves in the great cabin. The day cabin had already been made over for Lord Amherst's and his son's particular use, with a very narrow hallway created by Mr. Randall between that cabin and the sleeping cabin, so that those who required access to the great cabin should be able to get there without disturbing the privacy of the two smaller cabins, although they should be required to squeeze around the mizzenmast as they did so.

The ship itself was quiet, as well, half of the crew having been allowed shore leave – the other half had been allowed their run on shore the evening before. Among the half out on this evening were Moll Kelly and Rebecca McClare, the former having asked her employer in as nervous a manner as she was capable of if she could go out that evening with Mrs. McClare and her husband, promising she would be back in time to change Georgiana.

Georgiana had encouraged her to go, so long as she stayed with Mrs. McClare, and Moll did return as promised. It was very nearly immediately clear that Moll was drunk – exceedingly so – for she was silent for once, and made every attempt to control her deportment. Almost as immediately, Georgiana decided that Moll should not be punished for it: nothing in her present actions could be called improper, and indeed, she was rather more proper than she usually was. Beyond this, Moll had been very soothing to Georgiana in that time after the loss of the baby, and despite Moll's wildness, Georgiana felt a good deal of affection for her maid.