Finn POV
I was in the wrong place. Even thought I still had my eyes closed, I could tell that this wasn't my bed. My bed was little and smelled like fabric softener. This bed was big and smelled like some sort of fruit thing and-oh, it was Kurt's bed. Thank God, for a minute there I thought this might be one of those situations where I woke up in a strange bed without one of my kidneys. Maybe that was a bathtub instead.
For a few seconds I was torn between going back to sleep and getting up and finding Kurt. I love him more then just about anyone in the world, and I didn't want to miss any time with him, but I was really tired, too. I've been kind of having these really bad nightmares for the past few nights, and it was nice to have some uninterrupted sleep.
Still, what was sleep when compared with getting to see Kurt? Moving cautiously, I cracked an eye open, peeking around to see where Kurt might be. He was in that hanging chair swingy thing that looked really cool, but isn't that comfortable to sit in when you're as big as I am. Kurt's little, so he looked comfy, though, with his feet tucked up and his attention on the book in front of him. He was dressed, which was kind of a disappointment, even though he looked really stylish and neat. I kept my eyes half closed, just so I could look at him for a while without him knowing that I was there.
Yeah, I know that it's kind of girly and gay and stuff to do that, but I guess I'm kind of gay right now, so it's really ok. Kurt was biting his lip a little as he worked, which really, really, made me want to be the one biting it. That was enough to get my blood flowing and my body rising off the bed.
Of course, Kurt saw me as soon as I started to move. I swear, he's secretly like a ninja or something, because I never get away with anything when he's around. Then he smiled at me, and I forgot why that was a bad thing. "Hello, Finn Hudson."
"Hey." My voice was all croaky and gross, and I cleared my throat a few times. "What time is it?"
"Hmmm? Oh, about 7. Dinner's in the oven if you want some." He came over and kissed my cheek. "Also? If you want any more kisses, go brush your teeth."
Both of those things worked for me. "Ok." By this time I had a toothbrush over at Kurt's house, one that was my favorite color. I couldn't use his because, you know, that was gross. "Did you already eat?"
"No, I was waiting for you to wake up. It's in the oven staying warm, though, so we can eat whenever you want. I'll go put the salad together while you freshen up." He attempted to smooth down my hair, but it was a losing battle.
"Oh. You could have eaten or woken me up, you know. You're too skinny already." Seriously? I had no idea how Kurt could just put off eating like he did. My stomach was trying to eat my spine right now, but he didn't seem hungry at all.
He laughed. "I'm not too skinny, Finn. Actually, I could probably stand to do a little something about my trouble areas."
Oh God, please don't let him start on this. If there was one thing I couldn't stand about girls, it was that they never ate, and when they did, they complained about their butts or their stomachs or their hips. "You're perfect exactly how you are."
That got me a little smile. "You really think so?"
"Absolutely." If my mouth hadn't been so rank, I would have kissed him again, but I settled for an arm around the shoulders. Which, by the way, were skinny but still kinda strong. I wasn't lying when I told Kurt that his body was perfect.
He tried to wiggle out of my arms, but I held him in place. "Food, Finn, then some homework. No more fooling around tonight."
"Prude." It was something that Puck had said about Quinn once. It means you won't put out.
His blue eyes flashed. "Why does everyone call me a prude? I am not!"
Huh? "Who else called you a prude?" Jealousy surged up in my chest. I was Kurt's first boyfriend, he had told me so. No one else had the right to call him a prude!
Kurt looked startled. "Oh, uh, no one, I guess."
He's a shitty liar. Actually, he's a really shitty liar, because I could tell that he was lying to me and I usually can't tell when people do that. "Are you sure?"
Normally I would have left him alone after that. After all, he was giving me some pretty strong 'back off' signals, and I hate it when people try and force me to talk when I don't want to. I usually get my words all screwed up and then I look like a total moron in front of everyone.
Only this was different. You were a prude if you didn't put out, and Kurt didn't want to put out for anyone but me. At least, I hoped he didn't. I had thought the same thing about Quinn, too, but Kurt wasn't Quinn, and I shouldn't compare them. Kurt was way, way better then Quinn.
But if Kurt only wanted to put out for me, and he said that more then one person was calling him a prude, then that meant that there was someone else trying to get him to put out and that thought scared me. Because Kurt's super tough, but he isn't very big. If someone like Karofsky was to get a hold of him…my brain wasn't able to finish that thought because it was so terrible.
I had been lying when I told Kurt that my nightmares were about being chased. I hadn't intended to say anything at all, but he had been rubbing my back so nicely, and I had been getting sleepier and sleepier, and it had just slipped out. Luckily I stopped myself before I told him the truth, which was that I was running in the dream, yeah, but I wasn't being chased. I was running after Kurt, who was lost somewhere in the school. Someone had him; I knew that, just like I knew that he would end up in huge trouble if I couldn't find him fast enough. Only no matter where I looked or how fast I was, I could never find him until it was too late. Then he was standing there looking at me, blood on his legs and stomach, his eyes accusing me of breaking my promise and not being there for him when he needed me. It was the betrayal in his eyes that had caused me to wake up in a cold sweat for the past three nights.
What was the best way to ask this? "Spider Monkey, did someone try and hurt you?"
The confusion on his face made me relax. He was giving me that look that said he wondered if I had hit my head on something, and that meant that he was ok, that no one had hurt him. "What do you mean?"
"I just…I don't know. You said that someone called you a prude, but that means you don't want to have sex, only I haven't really asked you to have sex with me and you really like doing other things with me, and I thought maybe someone tried to force you to do something and-"
Anything else I might have said was cut off by Kurt launching himself into my arms. His lips found mine and his arms were so tight around my chest that it was nearly painful, but that was ok. It meant that he was here, and he was safe. "You are the sweetest. Don't worry, though, no one else would be caught dead trying to touch the fag and you know it."
No, I didn't. I know that everyone thinks I'm really naïve (that means you don't know stuff), and it's probably true most of the time, but Kurt can be that way, too. He thinks that he has everyone in the school scared of his big mouth and his attitude, but that isn't true. Not everyone is going to be as obvious as tossing him in the dumpster or throwing slushies. That's basic bullying, but there's always someone who will take it too far.
Plus, even though no one else in the school would ever admit to having even the slightest homosexual (that's the fancy way of saying gay, by the way) thought, I've felt eyes on me in the showers after practice sometimes. Staring eyes, not just 'checking it out to compare size' eyes. All of the sports teams get out of practice around the same time, so it could have been anyone staring; I never had the courage to look back. I just took care of things as fast as I could and put my clothes back on.
I know, I know, just because you look at another dude's junk in the shower, it doesn't make you some sort of rapist or anything, but it did mean that someone out there was interested, and might be interested in touching Kurt.
Ooh, jealous brat. You just don't like that someone else might come along and Kurt will figure out that he can do better then you. That he can find someone smart and who knows the difference between all those shades of red.
That wasn't it. Ok, that was part of it, but not everything. If Kurt came to me and told me that he had found someone better, someone who knew the difference between scarlet and crimson and temptress red, I would let him go with them, because I loved him that much. As long as the person was better then me and not some kind of creeper pervert.
I kissed the side of his neck; right where he was starting to get some freckles that we both pretended didn't exist. I liked them, especially when I was licking them, but any mention of them would send him into an absolute funk, so it was better not to acknowledge them at all. I made sure to avoid the giant red mark right next to them, where I had apparently bitten him when things got intense earlier. I'm guessing that he hasn't seen it yet, because if he got freaked out by a few tiny freckles, he was going to go in a conniption fit if he saw the size of that hickey. "Just be careful, ok?"
"I'm always careful." He was...what was that word he had taught me last week? Placating. He was just placating me. But there was nothing else for me to say, no way to make him see how serious I was. So I just let it go before leaning down to kiss his stomach over his fancy shirt, trying to tell him that I loved him and I wasn't trying to boss him around at all.
He made a little noise that was half like a giggle and half like a moan and something that I wanted to hear about a million times more. Before I could try, though, he pushed me upright. "Absolutely not, Cowboy. Dinner, then homework."
Yeah, yeah, he kept saying that. I was still kind of horny, because I am sixteen after all, but I was hungry, too. I started to follow him up the stairs, only to have him point at the bathroom. "Teeth."
Oh, yeah. I brushed as quickly as I could, humming the alphabet song under my breath to make sure I wasn't doing it too fast, then bounded up the stairs. Kurt was carefully taking a pan of what looked like baked chicken out of the oven, putting it on the table next to a salad. "It looks good."
By now I knew what he liked, so I poured us each a glass of milk. We each served ourselves, eating in silence. It's kind of cool that I don't have to talk to Kurt all the time, and not just because he tells me to shut up because I'm a moron like Quinn used to. When we were done eating, he set out a portion of everything for his father then wrapped the rest of it up while I did the dishes. "Why do you do that?"
"Do what?" He came to my side so he could help dry the silverware.
"Make your father's plate. Can't he just make his own when he gets home?" Or maybe it was a normal thing to do; I guessed I didn't really know.
He sighed, a heartbroken little sound. "Because if I don't he'll eat way too much meat and starch and no vegetables at all. His eating habits are terrible and I worry about his heart sometimes."
"Oh." Burt Hummel always seemed really healthy to me, but I guessed I didn't know that much about hearts, or medicine, or really anything now that I thought about it. "That's nice of you."
"He's all I have." He thought it over again and shook his head. "No, he used to be all I had. Now I have you, too, and that's beyond fantastic."
Kurt always knew what to say to make me feel good. "Yeah, well, you're beyond fantastic, too."
Watch out, Finn. If he knows exactly what to say to make you feel good, he's going to know exactly what to say to tear you down, too. He'll be better at it then I ever was, because you love him more.
Even now, she couldn't just let me be happy. Why did she have to try and make me doubt Kurt, and then doubt our whole relationship? Sometimes Quinn-voice is way bitchier then Quinn herself.
"Ready for homework?" Kurt tossed the dishtowel around my neck and used it to pull me down for a kiss.
Normally, I would have tried to distract him, but I really am trying to do better with my homework. First of all, it makes my mother really happy when I can show her good grades. Even Mr. Shue noticed and told me how proud he was of me, which felt super, super great. Like, as great as getting all the solos in Glee and actually winning a football game and getting to have sex with Kurt all rolled up into one great package.
Having sex with Kurt? Getting a little ahead of yourself there, aren't you? After all, you don't want to hurt him, which you will, because you have no idea what you're doing. Or maybe you want to be the one taking it up the ass?
Did I want to be the one taking it up the ass? Everything I had read made it sound like you should know whether you were a top or a bottom right away, like it was an instinct, but I had no idea. That may or may not be because I find the entire sex thing really kind of scary, and I know it's not supposed to hurt, and it will feel fantastic, because otherwise why would gay guys do it all the time, but I just don't see how it can't hurt like hell.
I forced my thoughts away from the sex issue and back to the other reason I wanted to make my grades better. Kurt, of course. Apparently everything revolved around Kurt these days. If I kept being lazy and failing (or almost failing) my classes, eventually Kurt would figure out that I really was a Lima Loser, and would find someone better then me. I didn't want that to happen, so I had to study and try harder.
Except that's not as easy as I thought it would be. I always kind of thought that if I was willing to try and listen better, things would just get clearer for me, but they didn't. If Kurt was helping me, and we did the work together, I could usually get it, but I was still kind of pathetic on my own, like when I had to take a test. No matter how much he and I studied the night before, and how well I knew the stuff, I would get the test and all the numbers and words would turn into a confused jumble. Ms. Pillsbury was supposed to be testing me next week for a bunch of stuff, but, until then, I would just have to study more.
I never tell Kurt any of this, though. Because, if he still thinks that I hate studying and have to be forced, then he'll usually make a bargain that involves some cuddling and kisses and, if there's a test coming up, maybe a little more. Sure enough, he was already slipping a hand underneath my shirt and lightly scraping his nails down my back. I made an embarrassing noise that sounded almost like a purr. Just like a dog on a leash, I followed him back downstairs, hoping that he would take pity on me and give me a hand job if I studied hard. Actually, I would have liked a blow job, but I don't think he's comfortable with trying that yet, and I'm not a total asshole. It would happen when it happened and I wasn't about to force him.
He gave me one last kiss and pointed at my backpack. "Get out your Spanish stuff while I use the bathroom, ok?"
"Sure." I had everything spread out on the bed and was rooting around in my backpack for a pencil when an unholy shriek came out of the bathroom. "FINN HUDSON!"
Oh, God, he was dying. Screaming like that only came when you were about to bleed to death or you had a fork stuck in your eyeball or you were lit on fire. I jumped to me feet, only to have Kurt come storming out of the bathroom, his face flushed and his eyes blazing as he pointed to the side of his neck. "What. Is. This?" He sounded even more pissed off then that time Mom found a lighter in my room when I was 10.
My own eyes got big when I saw what he was pointing to. "Uh, I think it's a hickey." Even I could hear the guilt in my voice.
He stalked towards me looking like he was about to claw my eyes out. "I know that it's a hickey, Finn. What I was asking was: where did it come from?"
"Uh…" If I confessed, he would kill me. If I tried to lie, he would think I was trying to trick him, then he would kill me. "See…"
"You bit me." He sounded shocked. "You actually put your mouth on my neck and bit me! I might as well be some slut in the backseat of your Camero, with 10 lbs of eyeliner on and earrings made out of roach clips. I look like a whore!"
I probably should have said something comforting, but my mouth was too busy hanging open at the thought of Kurt wearing a ton of eyeliner. Did it make me a freak that I thought he might look kind of hot like that?
Naturally, because I'm a moron when I'm turned on, my stupid mouth decided to open and say the worst thing possible. "It makes you mine."
Wait, had I just claimed Kurt like he was a toy or a piece of candy? I did want him to be mine, and I wanted everyone to know that he was mine, but I wanted him to be his own person, too. He was staring at me now and I tried to backpedal. "That came out wrong. What I meant was…well…" Good question, what had I meant?
His arms crossed over his chest. "I'm waiting, Finn Hudson."
"I'm sorry; I really didn't plan to do that. Actually, I don't even remember doing it, but I know I did because there wasn't anyone else. Wait, there isn't anyone else, is there?"
Of course there is, you moron. A horny little elf snuck in right sometime between you grinding the hell out of him and you falling asleep. The elf crept in, bit his neck without him noticing, then snuck back out through the window. Do you think at all?
Kurt didn't look that impressed either. "I'm sure you didn't. However, the issue here is not only that you marred my skin and it's going to take a ton of concealed to cover it up, which will probably cause me to break out, but that you seem to want me as a piece of property. Is that all I am to you, a piece of ass?"
What? How had we gone from him being pissed because we had screwed around and gotten a little overexcited and put a mark on him to him being pissed because he didn't think I cared about him at all? I sat back and looked at him, reminding myself not to scream at him and make everything worse. "Of course you aren't just a piece of ass to me. You're my boyfriend. Didn't we just talk about coming out to the rest of the Glee club? Why would I want to do that if I wasn't in this for the long haul?"
I wasn't sure why I didn't just tell him that I loved him. I did, and it wasn't that I was embarrassed or anything. It was just that I wanted things to be right and special when I said it. It wasn't something I should tell him just to get myself out of trouble.
Still, I must have said something right, because he was calming down. He sat on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath. "Ok, take a minute to think and tell me what you meant."
It was nice when he gave me time. Most people just stared at me until I blurted out something really stupid, just to get them off of my back. I noticed that he didn't sit next to me, though. He sat back, against the wall, his legs crossed and his eyes telling me that he didn't want to be touched. It was sad, because, if I had my way, I would touch him all the time. Seriously. He has the softest skin and even if he hates those freckles, I love them, and he does this little sigh thing when I put my hands on his hips that makes me want to lock us both in his bedroom and never come out. I had to pull my thoughts away from that, though, because I was supposed to be explaining why Kurt wasn't a piece of ass, not getting myself all turned on.
I thought carefully for a few more minutes. "Ok, I got it."
"Go on." His arms were still crossed over his chest, but there was a gentleness that hadn't been there before.
"It's not that I think you're a piece of ass, or that I want to own you like property. But I do want other people to look at you and know that you have someone that you're dating. That even if you're gay, and trust me, Kurt, everybody knows that, someone cares about you and will probably kick their asses if they make fun of you or try and hurt you." I was explaining it to myself as much as I was explaining it to him.
Kurt was still glaring a little bit, but he was smiling now, too, so I risked saying the rest. "Plus, um, well, I kind of like looking at it. Every time I see it, I can think that I'm the one that put it there, and I'm the only one allowed to touch you like that. It's hot, trust me."
He was making that face again, the one that said he wasn't sure if he should smack me one or just kiss me. "Really, you think it's hot?" He sounded a little sarcastic, but I nodded anyway. "How would you like it if I did the same thing to you? Would you think it was hot then?"
"Totally." I was a little surprised that I wasn't lying. Quinn would have never left a mark on me. Shit, it probably would have never even crossed her mind. It would be sinful or some shit like that.
With a smile that looked like it belonged on the Cheshire cat, Kurt stalked forward on his knees until he was right in my face. "So, if I did it to you right now, you would be cool with it?"
"Yeah." Somewhere along the line, I had switched from being just ok with it to kind of hoping that he would. It would be a small proof that Kurt wanted me as badly as I wanted him.
We were now face to face, eye to eye. He was on his knees, which put us on the same level. I didn't think I was breathing. Literally, my breath was caught in my throat and if he didn't do something, soon, I was pretty sure I was going to die.
With deliberate slowness, he kissed down my neck and I swear to God I about came again. Then I felt his teeth touch the skin there, not hard enough to cause a mark, barely even touching me and I was whining in soft little pants. The he drew back and smirked. "Maybe later. I think you like this a little too much."
"You are the worst sort of asshole." Funny, it sounded a lot meaner in my head. When it actually came out of my mouth, I sounded like a little wet kitten mewing for a treat. How fucking humiliating.
"No, if I were an asshole, I would cut you off until this mark goes away, but that would just end up making me suffer, too, and I don't want that." He gave me another quick squeeze. "So, homework?"
I was going to kill him.
The next day at school was agonizing in a way that it hadn't been for the past two weeks. Ever since I started doing better with my schoolwork, I've actually been listening to the teachers, rather then sleeping or checking out the Cheerio's chests. But now I was so excited to go to Kurt's house after school with the Glee club and practice for our commercial that I couldn't really pay attention.
Finally the day was over, but I didn't get to ride with Kurt. I ended up having to stay after because there was an unfortunate incident where someone pulled the fire alarm next to the boys locker room, and even though I had nothing to do with it, I got called in to explain myself to Figgins. Just because I pulled a fire alarm once, 4 years ago, doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. I mean, come on, that was in middle school!
Kurt had offered to wait for me to finish, but I knew that it was killing him not to be able to go home and clean up a little bit and set out the tray of veggies and dip that he had insisted that I help him make last night. So I had told him he could go on, that I could catch a ride with Rach, and he had nodded and turned to leave. Then I had thought that maybe he was worried about me being alone with her, so I had whistled for him to look, then used my signs to tell him how precious he was. I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing him smile like that.
Unfortunately, now that meant I was stuck with in the car with her, listening to her try and tell me why we should get back together. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like her anymore, because I do. She's beautiful, and, underneath her ego, can be really, really caring. And we did have some pretty good chemistry together. She just wasn't Kurt. He was…I don't know how to describe it. He was just everything that was great in the world.
Only I couldn't tell Rach that. She wouldn't believe me if I just told her I wasn't interested. I could tell that I wasn't over Quinn, but that would be a lie, and I'm a horrible liar. If I told her that there was someone else, she wouldn't rest until she found out who it was, then she would be pissed at me because it was Kurt, and Kurt would be pissed at me because I tattled. So I found myself just nodding like one of those bobble head dogs and making little noises that didn't really mean yes and didn't really mean no. Shit, what was I supposed to do?
"-I think that we've both matured through all of this, and now that Quinn is out of the picture, there is no reason for us to not date. Yes, it's very quick after your break-up with her, but, considering the circumstances, I believe that it would be considered acceptable. Finn, are you even listening to me? This is an important event in our relationship."
But we didn't have a relationship. Well, we did, but not like she thought. I still wanted to be her friend, but I didn't know how to tell her that. I had to try though, because it's wrong to lead someone on. "Rach. It's…it's too soon, ok? There's so much going on, and I'm already totally overwhelmed. I just can't deal with one more thing." There, that wasn't a lie at all.
When she looked at me, there was something in her eyes that reminded me of the way that Kurt used to look at me, before all of this started. It was a kind of a hopeful look, but not really. It's more like you want something really bad, but, deep down, you know you aren't going to get it. For the first time, I realized that how deeply choosing Kurt was going to hurt Rachel, and I didn't want that at all. But maybe it was time to quit making my choice based on what other people wanted, and just go with I wanted. Then it vanished, replaced with something darker. "Of course, Finn, it was foolish of me not to consider that. After all, you're still recovering from your injury, and you were lost for a while last week, and it must be very difficult to see Puck and Quinn every day on top of it. I know that you need things to be kind of simple."
See, right there! Rach would never come right out and tell me that I was too stupid, but I know she thinks so. It's not that I think I'm super smart, but I can focus on more then one thing at a time. If she thought I was dumb, why did she want to get back with me?
Because, Finn, you're cute. You have a cute, sexy little smile, and a great ass, and muscles. You're extremely sweet and caring, and you're very gentle. You're going to make a good husband and father one day, and, while you'll never be a genius, you work hard and your engaging personality will get you a good job. That's what attracted me to you in the first place. But she doesn't love you, any more then I did. She loves what you'll be one day, not what you are now. She might not know it yet, but it's the truth.
I wondered if Quinn-voice was right. If I thought about it, I kind of thought she might be. But I didn't want there to be a fight right now, so I just nodded. "Yeah. Can we just focus on the commercial right now?" After all, she was going to find out the truth after Sectionals anyway, because that was what Kurt and I had agreed on. So it was a small thing to keep the peace right now.
Good choice.
It was probably a good thing that we were almost to Kurt's house, because the car suddenly felt all tense and awkward, and there was nothing I hated worse then that. Well, except maybe for that wasabi sauce. At least tension didn't burn the skin off of your tongue.
When the car stopped, I bounded out of the car, leaping up the steps that led to the front porch. I didn't go inside though, because the one step was tricky and there was still snow on the ground. It would suck if she fell and hurt herself.
That turned out to be a bad idea, because she got suspicious when I helped her over the bad step. "Finn, how much time have you been spending over here lately?"
"I don't know, a lot. My mother makes me come over for her and Mr. Hummel's dinner dates, and Kurt and I do homework and stuff. Why?" I knew I didn't sound as innocent as I wanted to, which was probably because I wasn't innocent at all. This was why I just wanted to tell everyone the truth. But Kurt wanted to wait, and it was his secret as much as it was mine so we waited.
"And you like him? Spending time with him, I mean. Of course Kurt's likable, but it doesn't seem that the pair of you would have much in common."
Except for the fact that we like looking at each other naked. Oh, and screwing around, we have very similar tastes when it comes to that. Quinn-voice had her hackles raised. She had never liked Rachel and relished any opportunity to pick on her.
"We find stuff to talk about." I wanted to keep on babbling, but, if I've learned one thing from Kurt, it's how to keep quiet until it's in my best interests to speak. Right now? Totally not in my best interests.
"I just find it odd, considering that you barely have time to spend with me any more. It's always Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, now."
That was the other reason I wasn't dating Rachel anymore. She was crazy possessive and I had watched too many Lifetime movies with Mom to want to stick around until my pet rabbit got cooked. "Well, he and I work together on my homework. When you and I got together, all we ever did was make out."
She probably would have had a smart reply to that, because Rach always has a smart reply to everything, but, luckily, Tina appeared in the doorway. "Come on, come on, you guys are missing everything!" She pushed Rachel ahead, then leaned back and gave me a quick wink. Thank God, Kurt must have sent her up to rescue me.
The rest of the Glee club was already there, sprawled out on the floor and furniture. I took a seat on the bed, smiling to myself at the naughty memories it was bringing up. God I wished everyone else would leave so I could make a few new memories here.
Kurt and Mercedes were both perched in the hanging chair. He smiled wickedly. "Well, I guess you two finally made it! You can sit on the bed, the sheets are clean."
Ok, I think that this is one of those mental power things. Kurt and Rachel are fighting, and I think it's over me this time. Not that I'm getting an ego or anything, but any time all three of us are in the same room, they both start asking me to sit with them, or help them, or suddenly remember something they have to tell me. Only when they tell me, they look at each other instead of me. Right now, Kurt was getting on a power trip; because he wanted Rach to have to sit in the same spot I had done sex things to him yesterday. The sad part was, I was pretty sure that she would have done the same thing to him, because they both get a thrill out of it. Sometimes they both make me want to roll my eyes. I mean, I know that I'm a little insecure, but they're much worse then me.
Rach was a little suspicious of Kurt's sudden good will towards her, and just stood there, watching. Kurt looked as sweet as possible. "It's alright, Rachel, I promise. Look, Finn's not concerned that the gay cooties will jump out of the pillow and infect him."
I'm pretty sure there are no such thing as gay cooties, and it was too late for me to be infected by them anyway. Rach rolled her eyes. "That isn't funny. You, of all people, should know that homosexuality isn't something that you can catch or choose. It's just who you are." Her eyes flicked over to me, and I pretended that I wasn't paying any attention. "Or who you aren't."
Kurt smiled a little to himself. "Touché. I'm thinking that we should practice the vocals first, then the choreography?"
We always did it that way, but I knew that Kurt was really saying that the conversation was over. See, I'm picking up on subtlety. Rach nodded and we all rearranged ourselves according to her instructions. Kurt and I had practiced together last night after our homework was done, and I had listened to it about a thousand times on my iPod, so I knew it really well. I would have never thought of the song, myself, but it was a pretty awesome song. It was the kind of song that made you feel like getting up and dancing, and I jerked around playfully as I sang.
Everyone else must have studied as hard as I had, because we were able to get the song down perfectly in less then an hour. Even Rach was impressed with how hard we were working and decided we could take a quick break while she blocked out the choreography. Kurt sent everyone up to raid the veggie tray, but I kind of stayed behind, sitting back down on the bed. I knew that if I went up there, Kurt would probably do something dirty with a carrot and the ranch dip, and then I would be all turned on and embarrassed. So I just sat, leaning against the wall and smelling Kurt's smell on the comforter.
"Are you coming, Dracula?" Mercedes had stopped on the little landing, smirking at me. Wait; had she just called me….Kurt was a tattletale! He had sworn shown up to school this morning wearing a yellow scarf and concealer, before telling me that he would kill me if he so much as caught me looking at his neck, ever again. Then he went and told Mercedes what had happened!
"Dracula?" Rachel glanced over. "Why would you call him Dracula?"
Mercedes didn't get all flustered and start stuttering, like I would have. She just put one hand on her hip and shrugged. "Don't you think he looks kind of pale, like a vampire? Finn, have you been feeling alright?"
I ducked down. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping well."
"Come on then." She held out an arm, and I went towards her. She would protect me, I knew it. Her hand rested on my back, nudging me up the stairs. "So, what do you usually wear to bed?"
The change in topic threw me, and I fumbled for a minute. "What? Uh, usually like an old T-shirt and pajama pants if it's cold or just my boxer shorts if it isn't. Why?"
"We need outfits, don't we? Obviously I'm the only one in this club with fashion sense, except for Kurt, and he's been a little bit, shall we say busy, lately?"
Two could play at this game. "He's been very busy lately. He's also a tattletale."
She smiled and put an arm around my waist. "Who do you think helped him put all of that concealer on? Don't worry; I thought it was kind of hot."
Lucky for me, Kurt was too distracted by a story Mike was telling to focus on tormenting me. I grabbed a handful of carrots and leaned against the counter, crunching happily. This way I could watch Kurt's face, and see the way his eyes changed color when he laughed.
Stalker creep.
Ok, that part was kind of true, but…I guessed there was no 'but'. It was creepy and stalkerish but I couldn't take my eyes off of him. When he finally looked over at me, even though he was still laughing at Mike, something changed and he looked happier then ever. I grinned back at him, and I thought that maybe I was looking happier then ever, too.
Mercedes took a few nibbles of her sliced peppers. "I need measurements for all of you boys, so I can get pajamas for you. We need to match, and you six will probably turn up in ratty old clothes with holes in them."
Well, yeah. I mean, that's what you do when your clothes get old, especially if they're your favorites. You start using them as pajamas so your Mom doesn't throw them out when you aren't looking. Duh. I guessed that it was one of those things that chicks just don't understand.
All too soon, the snack was over, and Rach was calling us all back downstairs. She and Puck had pushed the furniture around to give us a larger space to work in. I'm not sure why, but something about that kind of hurt my feelings. I mean, Puck and Rachel had dated for a while, and why did I care if they hooked up again? I had Kurt now, and I didn't want either one of them.
Rach went over what she had planned and my stomach sank. I couldn't turn a summersault, no matter how much of a running start I got. It had been easy when I was a little kid, but I was just too big for it now. "Uh, Rach…."
I tentatively explained the problem, and she nodded. "Ok, Kurt, do you think you can do it?"
"Of course." He looked like he was doing nothing but fiddling with his nails, but I knew that he was listening. Kurt's always paying attention to what's going on around him. He says it's because he's studying the psychology of the proletariat or some shit, but I think he does it so he'll always know if someone is going to go after him. No one will do that any more though, because I'm always going to be there to protect him.
No you won't. You can't be there to protect him all the time and he's smart to take steps to protect himself. Isn't that what your dream means? That you won't always be there for him, no matter how much you want to be.
That hurt, but it was probably the truth. I can't follow Kurt around all the time (even though that would be great. I could check out his ass all day, every day.), and it's good that he wants to take care of himself instead of wanting me to do it all the time. It's cool to be dating someone who isn't totally helpless for once.
"I need a spotter. Finn?" While I was pervving, apparently Kurt had been talking. I gave him a confused look, and he rolled his eyes. "I need you to watch me while I go, and make sure I'm not going to slam into a wall or something."
"Sure." Rach had laid two mattresses out on the flood and I knelt on the far side of one. I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do if it did look like he was going to slam into a wall. Maybe I was supposed to use my own body as a shield for him to slam into. Surprisingly, I was ok with that. "Ok, I'm ready."
He started from across the room and charged the mattress in typical Kurt Hummel fashion, completely determined and looking more like he was floating then running. Then he jumped and rolled, making me both jealous of how easily he did that. It also kind of made me turned on because of how flexible he was. He rose to his knees, having rolled right in front of me. We were face to face, and it took everything I had not to just reach out and kiss him. I cleared my throat and forced myself to look down. "I think you've got it."
I stayed where I was and spotted Puck, Matt and the girls. My leg cramped up before Tina had gone, but I was having a little (ok, not so little) issue resulting from seeing Kurt's body twisting around like that, and I didn't think that standing up right now was such a good idea.
Finally it was safe to get up, and I stretched lazily. Kurt smirked delicately at me, like he knew exactly what my problem had been and I gave him a dirty look. If he wanted to be like that, I could just go home and leave him to take care of himself.
Mike had been watching us critically, and now he and Rachel were going over what they wanted to do. He was insisting that we didn't need to be too polished, that it would look more natural if we all kind of did our own thing. She was claiming that we would all end up banging into each other and someone would get hurt. Neither one of them was backing down, so I sat down on the floor and tried to think my way out of this.
A lot of the time I ended up having to play peacemaker between Rach and the rest of the club. Sometimes it kind of sucked, and I wanted to just tell them to work it out themselves, but most of the time I was fine with it. Rach means well, she just doesn't know how to talk to people so they didn't want to kill her. "Why don't we call the store and see if we can go over there and practice after closing? That way we can get our bearings, but we can still have fun." Plus, it would give me an excuse to jump on their merchandise. Damn, I was smart sometimes.
It wasn't much of a surprise when Rachel pulled her phone out and speed dialed the mattress store. A quick conversation followed, while Mike pulled me gently through the routine. "See, it isn't that hard."
Not when he was showing me like this. Once I actually got it right, my body had no problem remembering what to do, but I couldn't learn it just by watching someone else. Then my stupid body remembered it wrong, and I had a hard time forgetting the wrong way and learning the right one. I didn't tell Mike that, though. It's embarrassing enough to have Kurt know just how bad I am at learning stuff, and I know that he won't tell anyone. I was pretty sure that Mike wouldn't either, but he would get that 'poor Finn, he's soooo stupid' look on his face and it would be humiliating. "Nope, I've got it now." I covered with a big grin, the same way I always did, and he smiled back. Even if I sucked at just about everything else, I could always make people smile.
Oh, and apparently I can give a killer blow job. I can even swallow, which everyone seems to think is hard, but a really good thing. I didn't think it was that hard, and I couldn't quite figure out what you were supposed to do if you didn't swallow, so I had just gone ahead and done it. It hadn't tasted as bad as I thought it would. Kind of bitter, but I've eaten much worse.
So I guess there's two things that I'm really good at, and a bunch more that I'm kind of good at. I mean, I could be a lot worse. More importantly, Kurt sees something great when he looks at me. He doesn't notice that I'm too fucking big and uncoordinated, or that I get confused and never know the right thing to say, or even that I still have to add up on my fingers sometimes. He thinks that I'm special, and not in the mean way that Quinn always used to claim that I was. And you know what? That's pretty fucking awesome.