A/N: I always forget to make one before up upload! Thank you for all the nice reviews and comments! Also? That shit storm you guys have been predicting? Yeah, it's here.
Kurt POV
Finn was certainly in a good mood this morning. He had not only been ready on time, he had actually been standing out on his front porch, dancing around like a fool when I pulled up. Naturally, I thought it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen, but I did have to wonder what his neighbors thought sometimes. They better all think good things about him, or they would have me to deal with.
I beeped the horn once, interrupting….honestly, I wasn't really sure what to call the dance Finn was doing. Possibly the decapitated chicken, or maybe the epileptic hippo. Still, it was awesome and wonderful and I would have totally been out there dancing with him if we hadn't had to be to school. Love made you do some incredibly stupid things, I guess.
At the quick beep, Finn grabbed his backpack and raced to the car, jumping in with enough force to cause the entire thing to shake. "Morning, Spider Monkey!"
God I wished I could bottle his enthusiasm. "Good morning, Cowboy." I leaned towards him, and he immediately obliged me with a kiss. Even though there wasn't any tongue, it was still enough to make me shiver. "What has you in such a good mood?"
"Don't you remember? Mr. Shue's going to help us pick our stuff for Sectionals today. Maybe you'll get your solo!"
Actually, I had forgotten that. With everything that had happened over the past three weeks, Sectionals, and my possible solo, had just drifted into the back of my mind. I started to get a little excited myself. "No, I didn't remember. I hope I get the solo, too, though."
Kind of. I mean, I really wanted the chance to shine, but I had gotten so much recently that it seemed a little selfish to ask for more. I couldn't help but feel like it was too good to be true already. Plus, I hadn't really found an appropriate song, now that 'Defying Gravity' was out of the picture. "We'll see, I guess."
Though it was kind of sweet that he was just as excited at the possibility of me getting a solo as he was about the rest of it. Miss Rachel could take a lesson from him about sharing. "I want to do 'Don't Stop Believing'. It's our first real song, and we're good at it."
"I concur. That means agree." I clarified the term for him before he could ask. By now I was pretty good at guessing what he might or might not know. "'Proud Mary' would be good, too. It's a common song, but an unusual performance and that counts for a lot, too. Theatricality is important."
He hummed happily. "How many songs are we supposed to pick again?"
I had read over the rules several times in the past few days. "It depends on how long the songs are. We each get 15 minutes, including time between numbers and costume changes if we have any. Our group probably won't, since we don't really have the money for multiple outfits." Of course, the Cheerios had enough money to fly to France last month, something that made me die a little inside when I thought of the shopping I was missing, but we were the Glee club, and we didn't bring in the cold hard cash that they did. Plus, Mr. Shue isn't even one tenth as scary as Coach Sylvester, who I think is blackmailing Figgins, anyway.
Finn counted on his fingers. "So, five minutes for each song, more or less, then we can fit in 3. But if we do 'Don't Stop Believing' and 'Proud Mary', then the solo has to be the ballad, right? Because otherwise it would be too much time. Or did I add wrong?"
"No, you added right, and you are correct. Or we can do a ballad as a group and there won't be a solo. It's not required for us to have one, you know."
"But then you won't get to sing." He sounded so sad that I had to smile at his worry. "I want you to get the solo because you're my boyfriend and I think you're the best."
"And I think you're the sweetest. Anyway, I don't have to get a solo in front of everyone to feel good, I promise. The fact that you think I'm the best is plenty amazing." I rubbed his leg. "You just want to show me off."
"Nah. Not until after Sectionals, right? Then I can show you off to the whole Glee club and it'll be good. Everything will be good now."
He sounded like that would be the best thing that could possibly happen. Like he had been waiting his entire life to be able to look at the Glee club and say 'Yes, this is my boyfriend, this is Kurt.' I squeezed his knee. "It's already good."
"But it will be better." He yawned lazily as he spoke, the words a little hard to understand.
This was the second night in a row he had said something like that, and it struck me as odd. There was a desperation behind the words, something that made me nervous. "You keep saying that."
"I want it to be true." His voice was low, almost a whisper. "I want things to be good now, because so many bad things have happened."
The soft confession made the hair on the back of my neck rise. "It will be, I promise."
Don't make promises you can't keep. It's unlikely that anything else will go wrong right now, but unlikely isn't impossible.
"Bad things come in threes. Quinn, Mom, who's next?" His mood had changed so drastically from a few minute ago that I had no idea what to say. I just looked at him and waited for him to either continue or drop the subject.
He dropped it. "I guess it doesn't matter, though. I mean, I didn't see the other stuff coming, why should I see this coming?" He arched his back against the seat, hands reaching up to touch the cars ceiling. "So, do you have to work after school today?"
For a split second, I considered lying and telling him that I did. But Dad was going to shut down the garage today, and if Finn found out I had told such a stupid lie, his feelings would be hurt, so I shook my head instead. "No, but Dad needs me at home. Cleaning and stuff."
"Oh." He sounded disappointed. "Ok, then."
"You are a total horn dog." I tapped his leg again.
He chuckled, but his eyes were still strained and worried. Sometimes Finn can be a bit of a worrywart, but there had to be something else going on. "Are you sleeping alright?" He had mentioned one nightmare, but I was willing to bet that it was two or more. I had looked it up online, and dreaming about being chased was classic anxiety. Since I had no idea which of the thousand things that Finn had to be anxious about was troubling him right now, I figured he was about due for more nightmares.
"Um, no. I slept pretty good last night." He was such a bad liar.
I wanted to invite Finn over to my place so he could at least get in another nap (and if we had a repeat of what had led to the earlier nap, that was alright with me also), except for one small thing. I wasn't going to be at my place. Dad was closing the garage so he could take me bowling for the first time, and I was so excited for that that I could barely keep from bouncing around like, well….Finn. "Ok, then. You know you can call me any time, right?"
"Yep. Can we get coffee again?" He didn't need or even really want it, but he wanted the subject changed and I had to respect that.
"Sure. Do you want a muffin?" If I could do nothing else, and I didn't think I could do much else at this point, I could give him enough sugar and caffeine to blast him through the day.
"Only if you'll share it. After all, it's actually 2 servings and that's way too much sugar and white flower for any one person." Be still my heart. Had Finn actually just remembered a dietary tip? I would have thought he would cram the entire muffing down, just like my father did.
"I might be convinced to have a nibble." Not half, though, even if Finn could be convinced to get blueberry instead of chocolate. The tiny little bits of fruit did not add up to even a portion of a serving, despite what Finn had tried to convince me of last time.
"Sweet. Muffin and coffee." Any earlier depression vanished, and he was just regular old happy Finn again. I pulled up to the window and ordered, carefully counting out the money. It was the way things had become. I paid for coffee and muffins in the morning, Finn paid for our dates at night. It was vaguely and approximately equal, and it eliminated any arguments about who paid.
To appease Finn, I did eat some of the muffin that he was offering. Actually, I probably ate more then my fair share, because he insisted on feeding me little bits of it until it was gone. Fortunately, we were at school by now, so I didn't end up wrapping my baby around a tree. Even better, I could focus on wrapping my lips around his fingers, which had him panting in no time.
There's a word for boys like you, Kurt. It's called being a cocktease. When you do what you're doing, you're all but promising him a blow job later tonight. Are you actually going to follow through this time?
That wasn't true, was it? Finn had been really, really understanding about me not wanting to blow him yesterday, but I could kind of see where she was coming from. I was being a little on the slutty side. I wasn't really sure what my hang up about it was. I mean, I wanted to, and it was embarrassing that Finn was willing to try something that I wasn't, but I just couldn't seem to do it. Finn was really good at it pretty much right away and what if I wasn't? I mean, I do have a pretty sensitive gag reflex and all.
So what? It's not like he has anything to compare it to. If you need to watch 24 straight hours of porn and practice on an entire box of popsicles, do it. Just remember: go slow, and you don't have to swallow if you don't want to. Are you really going to let Finn Hudson get the best of you?
Well, when she put it like that, I guessed I could put in a little practice. "Finn?" My mouth moved without me realizing that it was going to.
"What?" He was going through his backpack, muttering to himself about this math homework.
"Am I a cocktease?" I hated how pathetic my voice sounded.
"All the time, dude. All the time." He smiled at me, a big one, not his usual lopsided smirk. "I like it though. Well, sometimes. I don't like it too much when you get me all hot and bothered in a diner. But I think we sorted that out."
"No, I mean right now." I picked at my sleeve. "Am I being a cock tease by doing that with your fingers but not giving you a blow job? Do I have to do it now?"
"No way. Dude, that's kind of like rape right? Me saying that you have to do something right now, even if you don't want to? That's gross. As long as I get off in the end, I don't care if you don't want to give me a blow job right now."
Trust Finn to say the perfect thing. I kissed him, tasting the coffee and muffin on his lips. "Thank you, Finn."
He smiled back. "So, I think things are pretty good right now, how about you? Like all this crap happened, but things will be better now, because they can't get much worse. Except for you and me, that's been the most awesome part of all of this."
Way to challenge fate there, Cowboy. Galinda sounded like she was half sarcastic and half pitying.
"So, I'm worth the shattered arm?" I considered popping on my sunglasses, but realized how ridiculous that would be, considering that the sun wasn't quite up yet.
"You would be worth two shattered arms. Oh, and legs, too. As long as I didn't break my dick, you would be worth breaking everything else." He stroked down my back, letting me know that he knew I was feeling needy and insecure, and that he loved me, even if he couldn't say the words.
"Thanks, Finn." He stepped out and raced around the car so he could open my door for me. I must spend an hour every day wondering just what it was that I did to deserve Finn Hudson.
Together we walked into the school, just a few minutes before the bell. It was never a good idea to get there too early, as the teachers were generally busy making last minute lesson plans, and any number of slushies could be thrown or people tossed into dumpsters.
"I'll see you in Spanish, alright?" He gave my shoulder a light punch, which was apparently the only acceptable way for two boys to touch each other when they were in public. He did it as gently as possible, though, so gently that he didn't even wrinkle my jacket.
I started to tell him that I would see him then, when we were interrupted by a sharp voice. "Finn Hudson, come over here immediately."
My blood ran cold. Sue Sylvester was a terrifying spectacle at the best of times, and any time she sought out a member of the Glee club, it meant someone was going to be crushed under her sneaker. What was even more frightening was that she had called Finn by name. Coach Sylvester never called anyone by name, not even her beloved Cheerios. Of course, their nicknames were a lot nicer then the ones she gave the rest of the students, but I couldn't recall her ever using a given name. Her pale eyes were fixed on him, much the way a cat will fix on a bug that it's done playing with and was now ready to devour. I had seen the same look in Karofsky's eyes the day he had tried to get me out of the school and away from anyone who could help me. This was endgame, and Coach Sylvester knew that whatever she was about to do to Finn would move far beyond just him.
Finn knew it, too, and he actually backed up a step. But she was in authority, and he couldn't very well disobey her. She snapped her fingers at him like he was a dog and he took a few tentative steps forward. I wanted to get in between them and pull him away, but there was really nothing I could do. She was a teacher and he was a student, and if she wanted him for some reason, there was nothing I could do to stop it. Her eyes met mine, and I was stunned by the evil triumph lurking in them. "Did anyone ask you to stay, Gay Kid? You'll have Finn here back by sing time, completely unharmed. That is, of course, if there is a Glee club by the time I'm finished. Come on, sweetie." In opposition to her harsh tone when she had spoken to me, she was overly sweet with Finn, almost saccharine.
He was stiff and fearful by the time he actually got to her, no doubt expecting her to grow talons and lunge for him. She didn't though. Instead she really looked at him, then sighed softly and put her hand on his shoulder, nudging him into her office. "Come on, Quarterback."
I hung around her closed door, waiting and listening, even spying far past the bell, but I couldn't hear anything. Whatever she was saying, Finn accepted it in silence. Finally, I had no choice but to go to class, which earned me an evil eye from the history teacher. I shrugged tiredly and set about spacing out for the entire class. Mercedes tried to catch my eye, but I just shook my head at her. I would try after class.
As soon as the bell rang, her fingers were around my arm. "What's wrong?"
As quickly and clearly as I could, I explained what had happened with Finn and Coach Sylvester. "It was weird. She was all over Finn, almost sweet to him. But she was her usual self to me. It's almost like she felt bad for him."
"Sue Sylvester doesn't feel bad for anyone. And when's the last time she noticed Finn anyway?"
"I know. She even called him by name." It was a comfort to know that Mercedes thought this entire thing was weird as well, that I wasn't just imagining danger like I tended to do. "She's going after the Glee club again, I know she is, but I don't know why or how."
"Maybe she's in there torturing him for our secrets." Mercedes narrowed her eyes. "Think he'll spill?"
"Mercedes, we don't have any secrets. She's still technically our second coach, so if she asks, Mr. Shue has to tell her everything."
"Oh, yeah. Well, it's only another hour before you can get the story from Finn, anyway, right? She's probably just trying to scare us. I'll bet she took Finn in front of you just so you would tell me, and we would all panic, and it would turn out to be for no reason at all."
It made a certain amount of sense, and I wanted very badly to believe it, but I couldn't. Coach Sylvester actually had something this time; I had read it in her eyes. "Maybe. But Mercedes?" She looked up and nodded encouragingly. "I think its worse then that. She seemed really confident that she was going to bring the Glee club down this time."
She nodded. "I'll call around; let everyone know that something is going on. You get the truth from Finn, and we'll go from there. Now chin up and shoulders back. You are Kurt Hummel, and you are not going to slink around like a kicked puppy."
"Thanks, Mercedes." I drug myself off to math, counting the minutes until Spanish class, where I could be with Finn again.
Only Finn wasn't in Spanish. His desk remained stubbornly empty, even after the bell had rang. Mr. Shue looked at it, then at me. "Kurt? Donde esta Finn?"
"No sabe." I whispered the words into the table. It wasn't like Finn to be late to class. He might not retain much of what happened once he was there, but he did try and show up on time.
Mr. Shuester's eyes narrowed. "Puck, donde esta Finn?"
"Finn es-"Puck groped for the word, then made a horrifyingly realistic retching sound.
"Finn esta infirma? Donde es?" He seemed genuinely worried about Finn, but, then, he worries about all of us. Finn's his favorite, though, we all know it.
"Con el….con el…" Puck was getting increasingly frustrated, before he threw up his hands and growled. "Con el nurse-o, shit, I don't know."
"Language, Puck. As long as Finn is being taken care of, we need to get back to our lesson. Now irregular verbs…"
I waited 15 minutes, long enough so it wouldn't seem suspicious, then softly and correctly asked for the bathroom. I didn't need it, of course, but if we had been reduced to using a lunch lady as a nurse, I was willing to bet that Finn was alone up there. He hadn't been sick this morning, not until Coach Sylvester got a hold of him, and I had to know what she had done. Mr. Shue gave me a distracted nod, and went back to helping Britney understand what a verb was period, much less an irregular one.
Unfortunately, it wasn't close enough to lunch for all of the cafeteria workers to be needed, so one of them was sitting watch in the nurse's office. Just past her, I could see Finn laying on the cot, his back turned to me. Every fiber of my being ached to run to him, but the evil glare of his watcher held me back. "Can I help you?"
For a second, I was thrown. I wasn't bleeding or bruised, and I wasn't pale enough to fake sick. I tried anyway. "Uh, my Spanish teacher sent me down here because I wasn't feeling well."
It sounded weak, even to my own ears, and I knew it wasn't going to work. This was a woman who was lied to every day, multiple times, and she knew how to recognize a fib. "Really? I don't care if you didn't study; get your ass back to class. You aren't sick and don't waste both of our times pretending you are. I have a genuinely sick student to deal with." She gestured at Finn, who hadn't moved in the slightest. I had been hoping he would recognize my voice, but he must have actually been asleep.
There was nothing left for me to do except go back to class and pretend that I had been in the bathroom this entire time. My heart was aching already without Finn, but I would just have to accept that I had done what I could. Maybe I could sneak in and see him closer to lunch.
Mr. Shue gave me a look that was both questioning and knowing, and I shrugged my shoulders. He knew that I had been to see Finn, but I hadn't been able to speak to him, so I didn't even know what was wrong.
The bell rang while I was still sitting there, staring at the tabletop and picking at my nails until I ruined them. The feeling of wrongness continued to swirl in my gut, and, if this went on much longer, I might actually throw up and need the nurse myself. Mr. Shue sat down at his desk. "Kurt, can you stay after class, please?"
I didn't want to. If Finn was sick, he needed me to be with him. But I couldn't be, so I nodded numbly and came to stand at the edge of his desk. Mr. Shue gave me a strange half smile and touched my arm. "What's wrong? Not just with Finn, but with you, too."
I wondered what Finn had already told him. Maybe nothing, we had agreed on that after all. Maybe everything. Finn very much looked up to Mr. Shue, and he might have confessed something, not with bad intentions, but to get an outside opinion on what he should do about various things. God knew, he didn't seem to be fumbling in our relationship as much as I was. Then again, what did Mr. Shue know about gay men and the struggles in their relationships?
Come on, do you honestly think he's a straight man with that hair?
I laughed at Galinda's comment, only it came out more like a sob. I couldn't tell Mr. Shue the truth about Finn and I, not when I could barely admit it to myself how much I loved him. So I went with the next best truth. "It's Coach Sylvester."
His eyes darkened, becoming cold in the fluorescent lights. "What's she done this time?" His hand rose, like he wanted to touch me in some way, but then he let it drop. I wasn't Finn, and I didn't appreciate being touched by someone I didn't really know that well. At least that was what I kept trying to tell myself. But I couldn't quite shake the feeling of Carol Hudson's arms around me, and it made me wonder if I wouldn't mind another person doing the same thing. But not now. Now I had to focus on what I was trying to tell Mr. Shue.
"I don't know. She was there this morning when Finn and I got to school, and she wanted to talk to him. Just him, she made me leave." My voice was rising steadily as I tried to make him understand how bad this really was. "She said that she just needed him for a few minutes, but she kind of implied that there wouldn't be a Glee club later on, so I don't know what she said or did to him." Tears started to roll down my face at the memory of the look in Finn's eyes right before the door closed. "He didn't want to go with her, but he had to because she's a teacher."
Mr. Shue reached into the desk and pulled out a box of tissues. "It's alright, Kurt, stay calm." He waited until I had wiped my eyes and blown my nose before he continued. "So, Sue took Finn, who had been perfectly healthy up until that point, and the next thing we know, he's throwing up. I'm going to have to have a talk with her. This has gone too far."
I hated myself for what I was about to do, but I pressed my fingers, still wet with tears, to his hand. "Please don't tell her that I told on her." It might make me a coward, but Sue Sylvester scared the crap out of me. She was a woman with no attachments, except to her job, so she had nothing to lose. Since I was almost certain she was somehow blackmailing Figgins, her job wasn't in the slightest bit of jeopardy. She could destroy me, destroy Finn, destroy the Glee club, and, in my heart, I knew that she would get away with it.
"Don't worry; I won't mention you at all. Now, are you alright to go to your next class, or do you need to stay here for a few minutes? It's my free period."
"I'm ok, as long as you write me a note." I was slowly warming up to other people, but old habits die really hard, and I couldn't force myself to be too close to anyone, even Mr. Shue. Plus, I knew if I left now, he would see Coach Sylvester immediately, and hopefully we would get the full story about what had happened by practice this afternoon.
"Of course." He scrawled out a quick note, telling my biology instructor that I had been with him and apologizing for keeping me late. "There you go, and I'll see you in practice this afternoon."
"Thanks." I paused in the doorway, getting my nonchalant mask back on and rubbing my eyes quickly to erase any evidence of tears. Alright, I could do this.
The rest of the day passed in a sort of a tense blur. Finn wasn't at lunch, which didn't surprise me, but he was also missing from the nurse's office when I snuck in to take a peek at him. Carol was working a double shift, so I knew that she hadn't been there to pick him up. Maybe he had felt better after a nap, and he was attending his afternoon classes?
Please. If Finn thought he could get out of all of his classes by being pitiful, he would. You and I both know him better then that. He's somewhere around here, but he doesn't want to be found right now. Let it go.
It was sound advice, even if it wasn't particularly what I wanted to hear. All I wanted to do was take Finn home with me and tuck him into bed, where he would be safe and protected. After all, with the amount of shit he had been through in the past few weeks, he needed someone to love him.
The final bell rang, which meant I had 45 minutes to Glee practice. Usually I used the time to get a snack and gossip with Mercedes, so I reflexively started looking for her. She wasn't in the auditorium, which was where I usually found her, so I decided to try the library. I was almost there when I heard a fluttery voice calling my name. "Kurt! Kurt Hummel!"
Ms. Pillsbury? I had no idea why she might want me, considering the only time we had had any real interaction was when I had barfed on her shoes that one time. Still, I turned to her. "Yes?"
"You need to get to the choir room and control Finn now! I'm afraid he's going to hit Will!"
It took me a minute to process not only that Finn was in trouble, but to realize that by 'Will' she meant Mr. Shue. How had Finn gone from being too sick to attend class to ready to hit his favorite teacher in one afternoon? My feet were moving before I really understood what was happening, though. If Finn needed me, I would go, period.
I guess he was right, wasn't he? Bad things come in threes and the biggest shitstorm of all is about to come raining down on you guys.
The entire Glee club was standing there; mouths open as they watched Finn and Mr. Shuester face off. Puck was behind Finn, waiting, but unwilling to make a grab for him too soon and risk having the Frankenteen's fury turned on him.
That wouldn't happen. I was completely used to Finn's body language by now, and he wasn't going to hit Mr. Shue. He was angry, yes, but more then that, he was hurt and frightened. He wasn't going to lash out physically and I knew it, so I had no fear walking up to behind Finn and wrapping my arms around his chest, pinning his arms to his body. He could have fought free, of course, considering the difference in our size and strength but he didn't.
He didn't acknowledge me either. His entire focus was on Mr. Shue, and trying to figure out what had just happened to him. "Tell the truth!" His voice wanted to scream, I could tell, but he was so tense that all that came out was a throaty whisper. "Please, tell the truth." As always when Finn was really and truly crushed, there were no tears. The tears would come later.
Mr. Shue held up his hands, looking close to tears himself. "Finn, who told you this?"
Like he actually needed to ask. I tightened my grip, squeezing Finn as tightly as I dared. "Obviously it was Coach Sylvester."
I saw the recognition dawn in Mr. Shuester's eyes, and I knew that whatever Finn had found out, it was bad. Finn shook his head softly. "Yeah, it was Coach Sylvester, but I want to hear it from you."
Galinda was screaming at me to keep my mouth shut and let this all play out, but I ignored her. "Finn, calm down."
He spun sharply to the side, breaking my grip and staring at me with huge, nearly black, eyes. "You're just placating me!" His head swung back and forth between us, and I couldn't do anything to calm him. "No! He's lying to me!" He turned back to Mr. Shuester. His voice, which had risen when he spoke to me, retreated back to that hoarse whisper. "Is it true? Just tell me, is it true?"
Mr. Shue looked down, then up, nodding minutely. When he spoke, his voice was far smaller then Finn's. "Yes. I'm the one who put the drugs in your locker."
I had no idea what he was talking about and, from the other confused faces in the room, neither did anyone else. Finn was frozen now, blinking pitifully and working his jaw as he struggled to process it all. Finally he took a choking breath. "So all that stuff you said, about it being a felony, and no one would believe me if I peed in the cup and proved I wasn't taking drugs, you just…made that up?"
This had just gotten even more confusing, but I was unwilling to interrupt the strange dynamic between them. Mr. Shue started to apologize, but Finn shook his head. "Screw this."
He swung wildly to point at people, first Rachel, then Mercedes, then Artie and Tina, and finally me. "How many of you knew? You're liars, every one of you!" Now he was starting to cry, and I could do nothing to either help him or comfort him, because I still had no idea what was going on.
"I'm done with you." Even though he was no longer pointing directly at me, I couldn't help but feel like he was speaking to me and me alone. "I'm done with all of you!" Without a further word, he turned and walked out of the practice room, kicking over a stack of chairs as he went.
Chasing him at this point would do nothing and I knew it. He was hurting, and all that I would accomplish would be to turn his anger on myself. So I stood there in shock and watched the best thing that had ever happened to me disappear down the hallway.
Silence reigned in the suddenly airless room. Mercedes touched her hand to my shoulder. "Damn. What just happened?"
I squeezed her fingers, desperate for the contact. "I don't know."