chapter seven: it's so cold that your stare's 'bout to kill me
You might have gotten rid of Troy, but you can't get rid of me. Ready for some fun?
Quinn held the card in both hands, the black typeface weighing heavy on the card stock.
She thought that with Troy gone, she'd be rid of this nightmare. She thought she'd saved Rachel from their stalker.
In her dreams she was being held down, an immense weight pressing into her shoulders, her ribs, her hips. And when she woke up, it was like the weight and tension had always been there. It felt like there were needles in her spine and her muscles were coiled springs being pulled tighter and tighter with each movement.
She'd never felt so helpless.
…
Rachel had left Quinn's office angry. It was a sad anger, a righteous anger that burned through her skin, fed by the cold lies that chilled Quinn's mouth. How quickly had it means nothing turned to I need you, I love you?
She'd laid in her makeshift bed and brooded over it, tossed and turned until she had slipped her hand beneath the waistband of her underwear. She got off on the memory of the test of Quinn's skin still fresh in her mind, of the smell of Quinn's perfume that cling to her, and the phantom feeling of Quinn's body between her thighs.
They were fire and ice, harsh contradictions that only proved to hurt each other. And that's what Rachel had wanted the previous night, to leave Quinn as hurt as she felt.
She regretted it, of course. She regretted it as soon as she saw Quinn's sleep deprived eyes, the dark circles underneath, avoiding Rachel's gaze as she hid in the whiskey disguised as the last remnants of a cup of coffee.
She'd regretted her actions at least, her teeth of Quinn's skin, her hands on her neck, but not her words.
Quinn had tried to cover up her throat, with a higher collared dress and an off-color smear of makeup, but the angry red welts stood out against the pale skin of her throat.
They stood at opposite sides of the room, the tension creating canyons so palpable that the others could feel it.
The only person who appeared to be immune was Chet, who was unable to keep from glancing angrily at the red welts left on Quinn's throat. He looked like a little boy who's favorite toy had been taken away and put on a shelf. Rachel felt a momentary flush of jealousy, left over from the however many years Quinn and Chet had been together, but then remembered that it was her Quinn had been propositioning last night, not Chet.
Rachel saw Jay and Madison exchange confused and worried glances, since they knew all too well that while a rift between Chet and Quinn was a war, a fight between Quinn and Rachel was armageddon.
"Okay listen up," Quinn snapped to life as she walked over to their board of names and faces and plans for storylines, "Today is the three person date so cash bonuses for anyone who gets their person on the date. Madison, Kara's our new villain but we want to keep her."
"What? But I thought she was wifey!" Madison cried.
"I changed my mind, plus she seems to have a decided she wants to get horny, right Rachel?"
Everyone turned to look at her and Rachel quickly schooled her features. Quinn was gunning for a reaction but she was going to have to live with disappointment.
"Actually Kara said she was worried about the possibility of an overnight date," she said, primly, "It sounds like she's never been with a woman before."
Quinn rolled her eyes, "What a surprise."
"That's cute though, not mean," Madison said.
"Okay, how do we spin it?" Said Quinn, "Make our sapphic virgin a mean girl."
"Maybe she's scared," Rachel offered, "because the other girls are more experienced and she's intimidated."
"So she lashes out," Quinn said, "Tries to take people down with her?"
"I guess I could… tell her Vanessa is really physical and has, uh, had some fun with some of the other contestants?" Said Madison.
Quinn nodded, "There you go, go work whatever dark magic you did to your love birds last night."
Madison muttered an, "Okay," as she slumped back into her chair, looking defeated. The redhaired woman behind her gave Madison a pat on the shoulder.
"Okay let's not make this episode such a boner killer like last time!" Quinn said, pep talk over, "Get me some material I can use!"
Madison and Jay were quick to leave, off to produce their people into getting that coveted group date card- or into a big enough scene to get Quinn's attention. But Rachel, reaching for her coffee and spotting Chet corner Quinn, lingered.
"So who's the new guy?" Chet asked, louder then he probably thought he was being, a sarcastic sneer in his tone.
"What are you talking about?" Quinn said.
"C'mon you think we all can't see your neck covered in hickeys?" said Chet, "It's embarrassing."
"I don't see how what I do in my personal life is any of your business anymore," she replied, and out of the corner of her eye, Rachel saw Quinn try to push past Chet. Chet, however, caught her by the upper arm, his large hand circling her with ease. He leaned close, invading her personal space as he hovered over her.
"You never let me do that," he said, voice dropping so low that Rachel had to strain to hear, "I just want to know who did that, who is this guy that marked you?"
"Rachel!" Quinn snapped, sharply echoing through the room. Rachel whipped around in horror.
"Stop eavesdropping and get out of here," Continued Quinn, pulling her arm out of Chet's grasp.
And just like the night before, Rachel fled.
…
"Hi, Ben?" Madison hesitated on the name before flashing him a big smile, "They need you in make up in five minutes."
"Oh yeah?" Ben reached out, grabbing two flutes of champagne. He offered one to her.
"Wanna kill the time with me? You seem like a sharp shooter," he said.
"Oh ummm," Madison took the glass and giggled. Ben was just like what he was offering her, a tall drink of bubbly.
"So what's a woman like you doing in a place like this?" Ben asked, watching her take a sip.
Madison flipped her hair, "Well I do have a pilot that aired, maybe you've seen it? Hashtag Adulting?"
"Maybe I've heard of it," he said, winking, "So you're in charge of all of us right? Whether or not we get dates?"
"Well, that's up to Vanessa, but we do what we can to make sure the right people are picked," said Madison.
Ben winked, "I'm sure you pick all the right people."
He reached out, tucking a piece of Madison's long hair behind her ear. She blinked up at him, temporarily at a loss for words as she stared up into his blue eyes. They were sky-colored and focused only on her.
"I, uh," she stammered, the attention making her intoxicatingly dizzy. As much as she didn't like to admit it, she missed being with Gary- not Gary himself, but the relationship, someone paying attention to her instead of brushing her aside like what happened every day at work.
"I'll see you around, right Madison?" Ben said, flashing her another big smile.
"Yeah," Madison smiled back and bit her lip as she watched him walk away. He was one of Jay's guys, but seeing him again would definitely be on her to do list.
…
"Hey! Little weirdo!" Rachel closed her eyes and suppressed a groan as she heard Chet call out to her. She'd just come from Catherine's room, where she'd been prepping her to make her best grab at the three person date with Vanessa.
"So I think your main competition is Leo," Rachel had said.
"Leo? The investment banker twice her age?" Catherine asked, a single eyebrow raised as her makeup was done by one of the stylists, "And one year my junior?"
"Bingo," Rachel replied, "But Vanessa is very into fashion and wants to possibly branch into the fashion industry, so you have that in common. What do Leo and Vanessa have in common? Not much."
Catherine smiled, and had lifted her champagne glass to her lips, but Rachel noted that Catherine spit the sparking drink into the sink as soon as she thought Rachel wasn't looking.
"What's up Chet?" Rachel said as she turned, shoving her hands in her pockets, shoulders tense.
"You know the word on the street right?" Chet said, and Rachel's eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
"Uhh…"
"You know, the 411, the buzz, the skuttlebutt, the dirt," said Chet, "The hot gossip on set."
"When it's worth knowing," Rachel replied, with a shrug. She wasn't sure where he was going with this, and, if she was being honestly with herself, the crew's quote unquote hot gossip was usually about her.
"You don't happen to know who this guy Quinn's seeing is?" Chet ask and Rachel's jaw involuntary clenched as every curse word known to man ran through her head.
"See," Chet continued, "I'm just worried about her and I don't think he's treating her right."
"Oh, uh," Rachel could feel her face flushing as she started to ramble, "Quinn doesn't really, you know, tell me that kind of thing? About her sex life. So she hasn't said she was seeing anyone and I haven't seen any guys around."
"You'll let me know if you figure out who he is though, right?"
"Yeah, totally," with an awkward laugh, Rachel nodded and backed away.
…
"Jay! Jay, I need your opinion on something," Jay turned to see Ben rushing to catch up to him.
"Hey, aren't you supposed to be on set? It's almost time for lunch with Vanessa," Jay said.
"Yeah I just needed to talk to my favorite producer," Ben said with a slow smile.
"What's up?" Said Jay, smiling back.
"Do you Vanessa would like if I did this to her?" Ben asked, walking his fingers up Jay's arm.
Jay raised his eyebrows, Ben was cute and his bio had said he was bisexual, so there was nothing wrong with a little flirting right? Just to keep him listening to what Jay was telling him, of course.
"I think she might," he replied, leaning into the touch.
"Or how about this?" Said Ben, reaching up to trace the curve of Jay's ear.
"Yeah," Jay's breath caught in his throat, "that's good too."
"Oh good," Ben whispered then walked off to go find Vanessa.
…
The air grew crisper as the sunset. It's warm glow hidden behind trees and clouds, purple as a bruise, that hovered at the furthest edge of the horizon.
The cold slipped back her sweatshirt, through her jeans, and into her bones. Rachel shivered. The sunset had been beautiful but lingering in the semi darkness was an act of masochism.
She soon grew sleepy in the cold, listening to the water in the pool, but jolted awake as she felt someone join her on the couch.
It was Quinn, who didn't meet her gaze as she lit her cigarette, taking a single, long drag before wordlessly passing it to Rachel. Rachel inhaled, feeling the slick of Quinn's lipstick coating the outside of the cigarette. She marveled at the casual intimacy of the act, one they'd been participating in for longer than she could remember. It was a nicotine kiss, passed across the infinite space between their lips.
As Rachel passed the cigarette back, their fingers brushed, a single warm jolt of electricity, and Quinn finally looked at her. Her emotions were hidden behind her guarded eyes, that familiar wall back up.
"I'm sorry," Rachel finally said, "about-" she reached up and touched the unmarred space of her own throat, the mirror image of the place she'd left marks on Quinn's.
"You don't have to apologize,"
"No, I shouldn't have done that-"
"Goldberg-"
"I wanted-" I wanted to hurt you, I wanted you, I wanted you to feel how I did.
"So did I. Rachel," Quinn said, quiet but firm, "you didn't do anything wrong."
Rachel was dumbstruck. But Quinn didn't elaborate, she hardly ever did, and instead took another drag of the cigarette before handing it back to Rachel. It felt like a peace offering, a truce, and for that little blessing, Rachel was happy.