A/N: I've got some bad news, guys. This is the end of my stockpiled chapters, so you're going to be looking at an update for this story every other week from now on. But this chapter is cute, so does that make up for it?

Finn POV

Right now, my life either sucks or it rules, and I can't figure out which. I even tried making a chart, like Kurt had taught me, with the Pros (that means the good parts) and the Cons (those are the bad things) right next to each other, so I could see how many of each there were. But some of the stuff is super super good, and some of the stuff is just a little bit good, so how can the count for the same amount of cool? Kurt's super smart, though, so he must know what he's talking about.

Here's what I've go so far in the Pro column:

Kurt- really, do I need to explain this one?

Kurt- I know, he's number one, too, but he's so awesome that he deserves to be in more then one place

We won Sectionals- I love it when my off the cuff plans work out

I'm not going to be a dad after all. This one's kind of bad, too, though

I finally got a blow job. Finally

I got to drive Kurt's awesome car

Kurt told me he loves me. Actually, maybe that should be number 1

I'm probably going to get to go all the way pretty soon. Sweet.

Kurt – yes again. Deal with it.

Mom's dating Burt Hummel, which makes her really happy

Here's the Con column

Mr. Shue lied about the pot in my locker. I don't even want to write that, it's so incredibly sucky.

Mom lied about Dad committing suicide, which was wrong, even though she did it for good reasons

I think Kurt's Dad is going to shoot me for defiling his son

I'm not going to be a dad after all. I'll miss Drizzle, even if she was never mine

Puck is going to be a dad instead. To my baby. Not cool, Dude, not cool

I'm still failing math. And English.

I'm afraid that Kurt's going to realize that I'm a Lima loser and he can do way better

Ms. Pillsbury is going to test me tomorrow. Either I have a real learning problem or I'm just an idiot. I'm not sure what to hope for.

I'm probably going to go all the way soon. Scary, especially if Kurt wants to shove something up my ass. Or is that cool? I don't know, that's why its in the good column and the bad column

Mom's dating Burt Hummel, which means Kurt might be my brother one day. Is that even legal? It's not like we'd be real brothers anyway.

Like I said, it's pretty confusing. There are ten things in the good column, and ten things in the bad column, so does that mean that my life is sucky, or great, or right in the middle. Some of the stuff in the bad column is super, super bad, like Mr. Shue and Mom lying, but some of the stuff in the good column is really great, like Kurt. And blowjobs, let's not forget the blow jobs. Now I had wasted almost an hour, and things weren't any clearer then they had been before. I hoped that Mercedes would go home soon, so Kurt could call me and tell me what I should do.

Then I felt like a douchebag for thinking that. It's not cool to try and keep him from having friends and stuff. That would make me like one of those men in the Lifetime channel movies, and then I would end up in jail for being a stalker creep.

"Finn?" It was Mom and I shoved the list under my pillow like it was a porno mag. There was no way I wanted her to find out that I had gotten a blow job. Gross.

I rolled over and did my best to look innocent. I wasn't fooling her, because I never fooled her, but she let it go. "Are you still pissed about me taking Kurt's car?"

"A little, but I remember what it's like to be 16 and in love. I'm sure I did much worse things, and it wasn't exactly like you stole a stranger's car. Just don't do it again."

"Cool." It really was. I couldn't stand feeling like I had disappointed her. "So, what's up?"

"I wanted to talk what's going to happen tomorrow, so you don't have to be nervous." She sat down next to me, and I leaned close. She kissed the top of my head. I liked it when she held me close like this; even though I would rather die then say it where anyone else could hear me. Admitting you still like cuddles from Mommy was pretty much a guarantee of having your man card revoked permanently.

"Like with the tests to see if I'm stupid or not?" I was pretty sure that that was what she meant, but I had to be sure.

"Finn! Don't say that. You aren't stupid and we both know it. These tests are just to determine if you have a problem that keeps you from learning as easily as some people. Just think if it like going to the doctor for a check-up.

If it was just like a check-up, how come I had never had to go before? How come everyone said that I was stupid, or shy, or that I had been hit in the head too many times playing football? If I had a health problem, how come no one had cared before?

"Ok, I'm not stupid. Got it." I was blowing her off, but I was kind of pissed with her, too.

"Now, all you need to do is be perfectly honest with your guidance counselor, ok? She won't tell anyone what you tell her, because of confidentiality agreements. Do the tests and answer her questions as best you can."

I could do that. I always tried as best as I could (well, almost. I guess I did kind of slack off in math), but I just sucked at everything. "Are you coming to get me after?"

"I could. You don't want to stay for your Glee club meeting?"

This was her sneaky way of trying to see if I was going back to Glee or not. "No, I want you to pick me up. Can we go out to dinner afterwards?" That was what we always did if I had to go to the doctor or something. A guidance counselor was kind of like a doctor, right?

"Of course." I knew that she was disappointed, but she hid it pretty well. Even though I had already told Kurt that I was going back to Glee, I just didn't feel like hearing her get all excited about it so soon. My feelings were still kind of hurt. Ok, they were still a lot hurt.

So I distracted her instead. "Can I get an appetizer and a dessert?" I only ever got one or the other, and usually I didn't get either.

"If you can eat it all. Now start getting ready for bed. You need a good nights sleep so you do your best tomorrow."

I didn't want to ask the next thing, but I had to. "Mom? You're still going to love me if it turns out I really am stupid, right?" I hated how wimpy my voice was.

"Finn, you aren't…" Then she got what I was really asking and cut trailed off. "I will love you no matter what. Gay, straight, stupid, smart, even if you steal a car, ok? You are my baby, my only baby, and I will love you forever."

"Good." I ducked my head so that she couldn't tell that I was about to cry. "But isn't Kurt kind of like your baby, too?"

She smiled. "I guess he is. But, Finn, I'm not going to marry Burt Hummel, ok? I've only been dating him a few weeks, and I'm not going to rush into any sort of permanent relationship."

I really hadn't been thinking about that. "No, I meant, you know, not that he and I are together, you're his Mom, too. Isn't that what you call the mother-in-law?" Maybe I was confused. It sure happened often enough.

"Finn, I know that things are new and exciting with Kurt right now, but I don't want you to rush into anything either. It wasn't that long ago that you were this excited about Quinn."

I had never been as excited about Quinn as I was about Kurt, not even when I thought she was going to give me boob. Quinn was cool, and popular, and made me work for stuff, but Kurt was better then that. He was cool, and, maybe not popular, but he made me want to work for stuff instead of just telling me that I should want to. He was the most important thing in the world to me.

But I didn't say that to Mom. Once mothers get like she was getting, they aren't really thinking about you and your problems, they're living back in their own childhoods, which were like a million years ago, and that means they aren't really listening when you try and explain things. So I went in a different direction. "But, Kurt really, really needs someone to be his Mom. Like, bad."

"Honey, Kurt wants his own mother back. He's not looking for a replacement."

Well, duh. Of course Kurt wanted his own mother back, just like I would rather have my own Dad then Burt Hummel, even if my own Dad was kind of messed up. But that was stupid thinking, because it wasn't possible. "I know, but he can't have his own Mom back. He needs someone to love him and you're a good enough Mom to have two kids instead of one. But you'll still love me the best, right? Even if you're Kurt's Mom sometimes? Even if it's just a little tiny bit?"

Now she had tears in her eyes, and I wasn't sure if they were good tears or bad tears. Maybe both. She rubbed my shoulder. "You are the sweetest boy who ever lived. But, yes, I will always love you the best. Because I might be able to be Kurt's Mom sometimes, but I'll always be your Mom."

"Ok. I'm going to bed now, and I love you." I had to escape now, before we both started crying like a pair of girls in those terrible chick flicks that Kurt was always trying to make me watch. Ok, some of them kind of rock, but I was never going to tell him that. A guy has his pride, you know.

Still, Mom telling me that she would always love me, made me feel a little better. I mean, there were plenty of dumb people in the world, and they did alright as long as they had someone to help them, right? Plus, I wasn't as dumb as, like, Karofsky. Anyone who doesn't realize how cool Kurt is is way, way dumber then me.

So, even if I was stupid, it would be alright, because Mom would still love me and take care of me. Now if I could just be sure that Kurt would feel the same way.

The next morning came way, way too soon. I kept dreaming that Ms. Pillsbury told me that I was really stupid, and that I just had a low IQ and then Kurt broke up with me because he could totally get with a smart guy and even though I loved him he didn't care and then there were these horrible singing Tyrannosaurus Rexes and they ate Rachel. Maybe it would be a good idea if I stopped eating chili right before bed.

Since I woke up so many times during the night, I ended up sleeping through my alarm and Mom had to come shake me. Then it was too late for me to have a real breakfast, and she shoved a pop tart and a big brown envelope in my hand and told me that Kurt would be here any second.

I hate being rushed, but knowing that Kurt would be there soon is always a good thing. So I kissed her goodbye and went outside to sit, wolfing the Pop tart down as quickly as I could. If Kurt sees it, he'll start nagging, because he's all mature and eats stuff that looks like twigs and berries for breakfast.

Lucky I did it fast, too, because he pulled up right as I was finishing. I shoved the silver wrapper in my jacket pocket and swallowed the giant wad of pastry in my mouth. "Bye, Mom!"

"Bye, Honey! Call me when you're ready to be picked up!" I yelled back that I would and jumped in the car.

Kurt flipped up his sunglasses (really? It was still dark out.) and leaned over to kiss me in a way that should probably be against the law. I kissed back just as hard, running my hand up his leg.

He slapped it away. "Finn Hudson, I'm driving."

"Kurt Hummel, I'm riding." It was what I always said, every morning. Yeah, it was stupid, but that was ok.

Kurt grinned, which was what he always did, every morning, and pointed at the envelope in my hand. "What's that?"

"Stuff Mom had to fill out for Ms. Pillsbury. It's a permission slip for her to test me and a questionary that she's supposed to fill out and stuff."

"A questionary….oh, do you mean a questionnaire?" Kurt had one eyebrow up, which meant he was pretty sure that he was right.

I immediately felt stupid. "Yeah, a questionnaire, that's it." I'll bet even a little kid like Puck's sister knew what a questionnaire was. "She wouldn't let me see it thought, because she said that it would mess up the tests I was supposed to get." Maybe Kurt would know a really cool way to get it open without any one being able to tell.

"She's right. You knowing her perceptions of you and your issues are going to color your responses to anything Ms. Pillsbury asks. It's very important that you cooperate fully with Ms. Pillsbury, so we can determine exactly what you need. So do not ask me to get it open for you, because I won't."

Damn. I leaned forward, bracing my hand on his thigh and using my eyes to ask for another kiss. He obliged me immediately, because Kurt loves kisses. Maybe I wasn't so stupid after all. I mean, oblige is a pretty hard word.

You only know what it means because Kurt told you.

So, what? Everyone learns everything from someone else. I didn't matter how I had learned what obliged meant, it mattered that I had remembered it and knew how to use it later. Right?

When Kurt leaned towards me, it made my hand slide up on his leg. Hmm….I could probably use this to my advantage. He's absolutely nuts about us not doing anything in his car. So nuts that he used a lot of Rachel words, like 'obscene' and 'abomination' and I mostly ended up tuning him out. But he tends to give in when my hand is actually on my dick, and all I had to do was slide just a little bit closer and-

Sharp pain flared up and down my hand. "Ow! Did you just slap me?"

"I have told you multiple times that we are not screwing around in my baby. Since you can't seem to remember my words, a little pain might help." He took my inured hand and gave it a quick kiss. "There you go, all fixed."

I'm pretty sure that you can fix almost everything with a kiss. "Will you still like me if the tests say I'm stupid?"

"They won't. If you were stupid, you wouldn't have been able to pull the glee club back from the brink of disaster. You wouldn't have finally figured out that I was hot for you, and we wouldn't be dating."

See, that was kind of what I was afraid of. I knew that I wasn't, like, super smart or anything, but if I was stupid, then Kurt wouldn't want to date me. I was going to lose him if I didn't do good on the test.

Suddenly trying to feel Kurt up didn't seem like so much fun any more. I sat back in the seat and tried not to cry. Because Kurt is Kurt, he noticed that something was wrong right away. "What's the matter, Cowboy?"

I didn't want to tell him and risk losing him right now, instead of when the results came back so I just shrugged. "Nothing."

He pulled the car over into the nearest parking lot. "Your face isn't saying nothing. You're making that forehead wrinkle that means it's something. If it really is nothing, and don't you dare try to lie to me Finn Hudson, then you need to stop before you get wrinkles. You are too young to start Botox."

Wasn't Botox for old ladies and, like, movie stars? "I…." If I tried to lie, Kurt would know, so I decided to just come out with it. "I don't want you to break up with me, but I know you will if I'm stupid and the tests might say that I am so I just…I don't want you to break up with me."

"Oh, Finn." He killed the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt, climbing over the center console and into my lap. "No, that isn't going to happen. I love you, and I know you aren't stupid, no matter what the tests say. There are a million ways to be smart, and an IQ test only measures one of them. You will always be brilliant to me."

"Really?" I hated being so whiny, but I couldn't stand not having him anymore.

"Absolutely. You are mine, and you won't get rid of me so easily." He moved back into the driver's seat. "Now, we're going back to my place."

Wait, what? "Why?"

"Because Dad already left for the garage, and I think you need a reminder of exactly how much I love you."

No fucking way. Two minutes ago I thought I wasn't going to have a boyfriend by the end of the day, and now he was offering to skip school so we could fool around? The fact that it was Kurt, who usually followed all the rules to the letter, made it so much hotter. He saw my face and started giggling. "You look like a stunned guppy."

"I….I…really?" I wasn't helping my case for not being stupid right now, but, in my defense; it's not easy for a guy to think when his dick is hard. It's just not possible.

Kurt, damn him, knew it. "Yes, Finn, you really look like a guppy." His voice was exaggeratedly playful. "Isn't that what you meant?"

I might have jumped across the seat and strangled him, but the car was moving again and, plus, if I killed him, it was going to go back to being me and my hand at night, and that was just sad. Instead, I reached over and ran my hand quickly up this thigh to palm his cock. His pants were so tight that I could feel everything, even without actually touching his bare skin, and that made him shiver appreciatively. "Finn."

"Hmmm?" I kept rubbing, and now he was starting to get hard, too.

"Unless you want me to crash this car, you need to stop what you're doing this very instant."

I didn't want that, but it was always kind of cool to see Kurt fall apart under my hands. He was always so in control, and I was always so out of it, that it felt strange to have our roles reversed.

His hips jerked against my hand as he tried to push me away while driving. "Finn!"

"Fine, fine." I wanted to keep going, but I didn't want to die in a fiery crash. Plus, I had been threatened with death if I ever made him come in his dry clean only pants again. Turns out, all of Kurt's pants are dry clean only. I had suggested some normal clothes that could just be thrown in the washer, but that just led to a long lecture on quality clothes and fashion in Paris (guess what dude, we're in Lima. That's like a million miles away from Paris.) and then I had gotten distracted by how pretty his lips were when he was all excited about something and I had ended up blowing him on my couch.

Ahh, memories. Though that thought wasn't doing very much to get rid of my hard on.

I was trying not to get too excited, just in case Burt Hummel had decided to stay home and I ended up getting cockblocked again. I'm pretty sure that you can't die from blue balls, despite what Puck keeps telling me, but it sure felt like you could.

Luckily, there were no cars in the driveway when we pulled up. I bounded out of the car before it quit moving, leaping around the front to open Kurt's door for him. He was laughing. "Finn Hudson, one of these days I'm going to run you over and then how- Finn!" He screeched with surprise as I unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled him up into my arms. "Put me down! My neighbors are going to see."

Like hell. Now that Kurt had agreed to this, I wasn't going to give him a chance to change his mind. Plus, I love being able to pick him up. Quinn would never let me because it was sinful (I'm not sure where in the bible it says that, but I'm starting to think that she thought everything I liked doing was sinful), and, anyway, I would probably drop her. Rach didn't like me to do it because she was a strong woman and not an object that I could just throw around whenever I felt like it and all I was doing was perpetuating the myth that women were too weak to stand on their own two feet and honestly, I kind of tuned her out after that.

But Kurt's different; he likes being held like that. He says it makes him feel safe, which I'm pretty sure is the same as him saying that I'm a total stud. Even while he was yelling, he wrapped his arms around my neck and squeezed me tightly. "They'll see if you don't stop yelling to draw their attention."

I'm not sure if that was what shut him up, or if he just got distracted by licking my neck and collarbone. Either one worked for me, and I certainly wasn't about to complain. Even if he was making it really hard for me to concentrate.

Kurt still had his car keys in his hand, so I dipped him a little to allow him to let us into the house. He released my neck, totally trusting that I wouldn't drop him on his head. It was nicer to have someone who trusted me like that.

It was also nice to have Kurt trying to worm his hand into my jeans. No, that was way, way, better then nice. "Fuck, Kurt." I kicked the door closed behind us and dropped him on the couch.

Before he could get his bearings, I stripped his shirt off and started licking his skin. I think that it might be that oral fixation thing that Kurt was talking about, but I can't help myself. Every time I see his stomach, or his neck, or his chest, I can't stop myself from wanting to kiss him.

Not that he was complaining. Instead he was doing that high pitched whimpering thing that he always did when his brain started to short out and his body took over. He had on really low cut jeans (but not, like, normal jeans. No, these had more holes then fabric, but they cost 10 times as much as anything I had.), and I startled him by biting down on his exposed hipbone. "Shit!" He was gulping now, and I wondered if he was about to have some sort of asthma attack or something.

I didn't want that, because I loved him and because I was pretty sure that his dick was going to tear a hole in his pants if it didn't get some attention soon, so I backed off and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling down the zip.

Of course, Kurt has to wear pants that are so tight it makes my balls cringe every time I see them (even though my dick really appreciates the view), so it wasn't exactly easy for me to get them off of his body. Finally I just growled and ripped both the jeans and his boxer shorts down, giving me access to what I wanted.

Kurt was laughing a little, but there was something manic about it. Not manic in like a serial killer way, but in a 'things have gone too far and now I'm just going to throw myself into them, because I have no choice sort of way'. His eyes are all black and glittery, and his voice was really deep when he was able to catch his breath. "Lose the pants."

See, you would think that I'm the boss of things here, because Kurt's so freaking tiny, but when he tells me to do something, I do it. I don't know if I would ever be able to tell him, but it's kind of hot when he's the boss of me. Like the other night when he was holding down my hands in the hotel room so I couldn't move? Yeah, that was great. I wonder if that makes me some sort of freak.

I stripped off both my pants and shirt, moaning in relief at the sensation. I wasn't sure what I wanted first, to touch him or to have him touch me. Then he gave me a pleading look and I was lost. "Do you want me to suck you?"

He was so wrecked that he couldn't even tell me yes. It was ok, though, because I think that I'm starting to get a Vulcan mind meld with him. I'm good at knowing what he actually wants and needs, even if can't tell me.

I'm also getting better at blowing him. See, it's better to draw things out a little, rather then just getting straight to business. So instead of just putting his dick in my mouth, I climbed back up his body and kissed his lips, giving him something to do other then moan. Then I moved down his jaw and neck, kissing and licking the burning hot skin. I nibbled lightly, but I was very careful not to put a mark on him. One bitching out was enough.

I'll bet he wouldn't care as much if you put the hickey somewhere that no one could see.

Sometimes Quinn voice had most excellent ideas. I trailed down his collarbone and across his chest, kissing the freckles that he kept swearing he hated, but I secretly loved. I licked, then gently bit his nipples, and now he was begging me to do something, which was pretty cool.

I trailed my nose across his ribs, giving occasional kisses across his stomach, which made him twitch and giggle. That might be the best sound in the entire world, even better then the beep of the microwave going off. Then I bit his hip again, right over the pale pink mark left over from before. He whined helplessly, his hips thrusting and I finally took pity on him and wrapped my lips around his cock.

This might be the shortest blow job in history, since Kurt was already jerking his hips up into my mouth so hard that I had to grab him and hold him still so I wouldn't choke. I don't even know if Kurt realized he was doing it, he was so far gone.

I had been working on doing something called 'deep throating', which is when you take someone's whole cock down your throat, but I'm not quite there yet. Maybe Kurt just has a really, really big one, but it just doesn't seem possible. Puck claims that it is, and that anyone who can suck cock should be able to do it, but I sometimes think that Puck makes stuff up just so I look stupid.

Almost against my will, one of my hands slid around his body to grab his ass. He shivered violently, especially when I used my other hand to play with his balls. "Finn, Finn, fuck!"

I knew what he was trying to tell me, but it was too late for me to pull back before he came. Not that I really cared. The come still didn't taste great, but it wasn't that bad either. I swallowed as best as I could, licking his cock gently until he went soft.

"Come here, you lug." It would have sounded mean coming from anyone else, but it's ok when Kurt says it.

I climbed up on the couch with him, snuggling against his neck and wondering how offended he would be if I just humped his leg for a while. Because, damn, my dick was so hard that it hurt, and he didn't look like has going to recover any time soon.

See, here comes that Vulcan mind meld again, because he reached down between our bodies and started rubbing me through my boxer shorts. It was kind of humiliating that it only took a few seconds before I came all over, biting my lip to keep from moaning too loudly. I licked at Kurt's throat again, because the skin there always tasted good. "Sorry."

"Better you then me." He tickled right underneath my ribs, and my body shivered. "Go get cleaned up and march yourself back here so we can talk."

That was fine with me, because I was rapidly getting uncomfortable. "Uh, your Dad isn't going to come home any time soon, right?"

The thought of his father walking in on him naked on the couch, all flushed and obviously spent sent Kurt hurtling to his feet. "We'll go down to the basement. I think you have a change of clothes down there any way."

"I do." Kurt insisted that I keep a complete change at his house, because the one in my backpack got wrinkled and, in Kurt's mind, that was as bad as them being totally ruined. I gave it about two seconds thought and picked him back up, surprised, as always, at how warm his skin was against mine. He laughed again, letting his head hang upside down for a few minutes.

I really liked it when Kurt got happy like this, all relaxed and laughing. I don't think he's like this very often, so it's really cool that he gets that way with me. I couldn't carry him down the stairs like this, so I shifted him so he was clinging to my front like a little spider monkey, his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist. The new position put his face in my neck, and he was taking full advantage of that fact by kissing down the line of my throat. "If you don't stop that, I'm either going to drop you or put you up against this wall.

"Against the wall." His voice was dreamy sounding and my dick jumped. I wondered if going another round would make me go blind, or if that only happened if you were touching yourself.

Kurt, the sneaky little bastard, must have felt it because he laughed again. "Got a problem? Put me down on the bed."

Because I can be mean too, I walked over the bed and gently pried him loose. Instead of putting him down though, I lifted him against the wall and just held him there. "Against the wall like this?"

His laughter stopped immediately, his eyes getting all big. Also, he was now as hard as I was, which was making it hard for me to think. What had Kurt and I been about to talk about again?

I couldn't hold him like that for long, though, and I left him drop gently down to the bed. I wanted to lean down and start kissing him again, but Kurt had his own ideas and yanked me on top of him. "Can we try something?"

His hand was already on my cock and I would have agreed to anything. "Ok." Please, God, don't let this involve him shoving anything up my butt.

"I was thinking that I could blow you again." His voice was soft and sexy and anything else he wanted to try was fine with me. "Would you like that?"

Very, very much. "Yeah."

"Good. I wanted to blow you before, but you were so worked up that I figured you would be kind of quick on the trigger and I want to try something new."

Why did he have to bring that up? It was humiliating. "I said sorry." It came out a little snappish.

He scratched up and down on my spine, easing the tension. "You don't need to. Do you know what an ego boost it is to know how hot I get you? So hot that we couldn't even wait?"

Hmm, when he put it that way…."It doesn't bother you?"

"Nope." His fingers trailed over my hip, before he pushed me over. "On your side, ok?"

That was different. I would think that it would be easier for me to sit up and have him kneel in front of me, or to lay on my back, but he was the boss so I rolled over. Light fingers ran across my stomach. "Perfect, just like that."

He kissed my hip and drug his tongue across the bone there, and I made this noise that was really embarrassing and I would totally deny to anyone else. Finally he got his mouth where I wanted it, and my body locked up while my vision went kind of shiny and white. "Please." It came out as a whine and I had to hold back from just fucking his throat like I wanted to.

Things felt so good that I barely noticed one finger drawing up behind my balls. Barely, but I did notice and it made me jump. "Whatareyoudoing?"

He pulled off. "Easy, Cowboy, easy. I'm not going to do that. That's something we need to talk about first. You trust me, right?"

I let him put my dick in his mouth, didn't I? If that wasn't trust, nothing was. "Yeah."

"So just let me try this. It might not work, anyway." He sounded like he knew what he was doing, so took a deep breath and tried to relax. Truthfully, he hadn't hurt me a minute ago, just kind of scared me. Kurt smiled. "So, did you know that men have a G spot, too?"

Honestly, I wasn't 100% sure where it was on a woman, or if it was the same or different then the clit that Puck was always babbling on about. "N-no." I was stuttering now, because he had put his mouth back where I wanted it and, oh, God, I was going to die.

What a way to go.

Definitely. Kurt was sliding his fingers around again, and I was trying really hard not to get nervous, but I was still a little worried. Then suddenly everything went glittery and I wouldn't have cared what else he did to me, as long as he kept doing what he was doing. Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, there is something better then just getting a blow job.

Now I was whining like a puppy, and making noises that weren't really words and if this was what sex was going to feel like, Kurt could shove anything he wanted up my ass and I would die a happy man.

"Finn, breathe!" Kurt sounded a little worried, but it was alright. So I wasn't breathing, big deal. It would be fine. I took in a shuddery, gaspy breath to make him happy, though. "Good, boy."

Normally I would have complained about him treating me like a dog, but considering that I was panting like one, he might have had a point. Oh, and that whining noise that I couldn't stop making, even though he wasn't sucking me any more? Yeah, not helping either.

Kurt raised one eyebrow at me, and I swear to God I'm going to shave it off if he didn't put some part of his body on my dick right fucking now. "Please." It came out all pathetic but I wasn't above begging right now.

"Oh, all right." He finally got his mouth back where I wanted it, and I was sure I was going to faint. My body was jerking around and I wasn't sure if it was trying to push forward into Kurt's mouth, or backwards against his hand. It was…..it was…it was….

Suddenly everything went white, then black and all of my muscles cramped at once. Oh, Jesus Christ, I actually had gone blind. I only had a second to think that, though, because my brain went dead.

When I could actually move again, Kurt was curled up against my side, one hand stroking the back of my neck. He was humming a song that I was sure Rach would have known right away, but I was clueless about. "Spider Monkey?" My voice was all slurred, just like I was drunk, except I wasn't. At least I didn't think so. Things were kind of fuzzy and confusing like I had a hangover.

"Welcome back." He nuzzled my jaw and I really wanted him to kiss my mouth, but I couldn't make myself even move my head so I could get him to do it.

I licked my suddenly dry lips. "Kiss?"

"Of course." His kiss was as gentle as a butterfly's, lips barely moving against mine. "Are you better now?"

"Uh…" Was I?

He rolled off of me and I whined pathetically, wanting his warmth back. "I'm just getting a washcloth, Cowboy. We're kind of a mess."

I scrubbed at my eyes, and finally got my brain working again. That was quite possibly the best orgasm I had ever had. No, screw that, it was the best orgasm I've ever had, no question.

I think someone else might like an orgasm. Someone like your boyfriend? The way it seems to me, you've gotten off twice, and him once. It's good to be fair. Plus, it's not like you mind getting him off.

Not in the slightest. So I sat up against the headboard, wincing a little as the dried come on my stomach cracked and pulled. God damn, had all of that really come out of me?

When Kurt came out of the bathroom, I noticed that he wasn't hard any more. Oops, guess I wasn't the best boyfriend ever.

You can get him hard really quick.

Yes, I could. I took the washcloth and wiped myself off as best as I could. I really needed a shower, but I was pretty sure that Kurt was going to make me go back to school for the remaining classes. Even if he didn't, there was no way he was going to let me miss my tests.

He curled up against my side again, and I made sure he saw me put the washcloth on the nightstand, instead of throwing it in the general direction of the bathroom and calling it good. He gets upset about the strangest things sometimes. "Come here."

Kurt picked his head up and just looked at me for a second. He almost looked surprised, like he had forgotten who I was. I slid my hands over his ribs and lifted his entire body so he was resting on top of me, his face in mine. "What's wrong?"

"I…" He stopped, like he didn't know what to say. That was weird, since Kurt always has something to say, for as long as I've known him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Had he done something to me while I was passed out? Probably not, since I would have agreed to anything while I was still with it.

"I'm sorry that I made you feel like you were stupid, and that I wouldn't love you if you weren't perfect. Finn, you are perfect, ok? Maybe not for everyone, but for me. You're my boyfriend, and I love you, and I don't care of Ms. Pillsbury says that your IQ is 70 or 170, ok?"

That was what I had wanted, no, what I had needed to hear since this morning. That I was ok just how I was, and I didn't have to be anything else. "I love you, too." I tried to slide my hand between our bodies so I could touch him, but he moved away, rolling back onto his side. "I love you, but twice in one hour is enough."

"I only counted once." I wasn't trying to be a smart ass, I was just curious.

He instantly turned a shade of red that completely clashed with his hair and freckles. No, I'm not going to tell him that. I like my dick attached to my body.

"Um, well…" Kurt was stuttering now, and things finally clicked into place. Apparently I wasn't the only one who had a little trouble controlling my own body sometimes. I had been right, that hadn't all come out of me.

"S'ok." I shifted a little so he could lay his head down on my chest and not have to look me in the eyes. His cheek burned against my chest, but he kept telling me that it was nothing to be embarrassed about, so he shouldn't be embarrassed either. "It's hot, right?"

He whispered something that sounded a lot like 'when its you', but he did kind of relax, his body melting into mine. I put one arm across his back and used the other to stroke the back of his neck. Ok, maybe I was trying to put him to sleep, so we could stay here like this, but I really did have the best of intentions here. I liked it when Kurt was all sweet and sleepy like this, especially when he wanted to cuddle with me. And, maybe I wanted to get out of my tests, but mostly I just wanted to be with my boyfriend.

Kurt all but started purring when I touched him, but he didn't go to sleep. "Nice try, Cowboy. Now get up and get dressed. You have to see Ms. Pillsbury and I have Glee practice. If I miss it, Rachel will take charge and you know full well what that looks like."

As much as I wanted to keep him here, he did kind of have a point. I'm pretty sure whoever thought up that saying 'power corrupts' probably met Rachel Berry first. "Ok."

"And wash your face! Fix your hair up; too, otherwise everyone is going to be able to tell exactly what we've been doing." Of course, Kurt's already out of bed and sitting at his vanity (which is an actual piece of furniture, not just being in love with yourself) and redoing his hair. I didn't really care about that, but anything Kurt did while naked was fine with me. He caught me staring and pointed at the bathroom door. "Now."

God, he's bossy. God, I liked it. "Fine." I drug the word out so he would know exactly how mean he was. There was a part of me that didn't care if everyone else knew what we were doing, a part that even craved it, but the bigger part of me was a huge pussy and knew that it wouldn't go well.

It took almost 45 minutes and two outfit changes for Kurt to deem himself worthy of going back to school (by the way? He totally noticed the hickey on his hip, and guess what? He was pissed. Stupid Quinn voice.), so I guess I could have taken a shower after all.

By now it was nearly 11, which meant that I was going to get there just in time for lunch. Sweet. Kurt was humming along with the radio, and I really wished that we could do this every single day before school. It would totally be worth getting up at, like, 4 in the morning.

Kurt didn't think much of the idea when I voiced it, but I think that might be because he already gets up at 5. He did smile at me though, the smile that said he loves me, even when my ideas are kind of dumb. Since he was in such a good mood, I choked down on my humiliation and asked what I had been wondering about pretty much since I had woken up in Kurt's bed. "Um…so what exactly did you do to me back there? Because it was like….wow."

He laughed. "Judging by your reaction, I would say that 'wow' about sums it up. What I did was touch your G spot, which would be your prostate. You can stimulate it from the outside, too."

Prostate, prostate, what was the prostate? I didn't want to ask Kurt, because then I would look dumb. Girls didn't have a prostate; I knew that from when I tried to lie to Puck about Mom last year. Then it hit me. The prostate was what made shoving things up your ass worth it. But wait, if you could get a feeling like that from having it touched from the outside, why would anyone actually do it from the inside? Doing gay stuff was kind of confusing.

Look at it this way: What's better, having Kurt lick your dick, or having him suck it? They both get you off, but one is so much better then the other.

Oh, it made sense when I thought about it like that. Why didn't everybody just say things in the easiest possible way? There would be much less confusion in the world if they did it like that.

"Are you still with me?" I had been so caught up in things that I hadn't noticed that we had stopped at a red light. Kurt was giving me that half smile, and I felt sad to see his real one go away, back wherever it went when it wasn't just the two of us any more.

"Where else would I be?" Where else would I want to be?

He laughed, and I saw a tiny flash of the right smile. "With you, Finn, Prada only knows."

I'm pretty sure that Prada is a Hindu god, which is weird, because almost everyone in Ohio is Christian, and Kurt already told me he doesn't believe in God anyway. "Do you want me to call you when I'm done with my tests?"

"Of course. Even if Glee isn't over, yet, send me a text." He reached one hand over and rubbed my shoulder. "If you're a good boy and ace your tests, there might be something in it for you."

It was probably a good think that I had already gotten off twice today, because Kurt touching me was pretty much a guaranteed hard on under any other circumstances. "What if I fail?"

"Then I'll be there to comfort you. But you don't pass or fail this sort of test. Either it's determined that you're neurotypical, or it's determined that you aren't, and, either way, we move on."

Ok, I really didn't know what neurotypical meant, but I do know a little something about not spoiling the moment. Anyway, we were at school now, which looked all deserted and weird now because everyone else was in class. Since there was no chance of us being caught, I leaned towards him. "One kiss for the road?"

"Of course."