Finn POV
Since I had missed all of my morning classes, I had ended up missing Spanish, which meant I didn't have to see nasty lying Mr. Shue. Sweet.
I hadn't been lying to Kurt when I told him that I would come back to Glee, even of Mr. Shue was still teaching, but that didn't mean I actually wanted to see him right now. Well, maybe I kinda wanted to rub it in his face that we had won because I had helped out, without him at all.
But that would be, like, whatever the opposite of classy was, and Kurt wanted a classy guy. Not that I actually knew how to be classy, but knowing how not to do it was a start, I guess.
Please God, don't ever try and think again. It's physically painful for me.
Of course, Rach found me right away, even though classes were supposed to still be going. Sometimes I think she's like a Finn-seeking missile, and literally can not function until she gets to her target. "Finn! There you are, we were quite worried when you didn't show up for class! I was almost ready to send out a search party, especially since you weren't answering your phone. Where were you?"
God, I wish I were a better liar. I said I was with Kurt; she was going to get all pissy and start lecturing about valuing a good education over a booty call. Or worse, she would ask all kinds of embarrassing questions, like all the other girls kept doing to Kurt. But if I lied, then she would know that I was lying and do something all creepy crazy like stalking me. Plus, it was super weird to discuss your sex life with your ex-girlfriend, especially since your new love is a dude. "I just had a few things to do first, that's all."
Like Kurt.
Luckily, Rach can't read my mind after all, even though sometimes it seems like she can. Instead sat down with me on one of the benches. "Finn, were you avoiding Mr. Shue?"
Oh, thank God, I had just been offered a way out. I bowed my head and tried to look as sad and pathetic as possible. "Kind of."
She gave on of those big, dramatic sighs that are one of the reasons that we aren't together any more (well, that and the fact that she would be really pissed off if I was dating her and screwing around with Kurt. He would be pretty pissed, too.) and rested her hand on my shoulder. "You can't run from him forever, Finn. What he did was wrong, and we both know it, but we also both know that Mr. Shue is the best chance that New Direction has of not only making it to Nationals, but winning."
See, this was the other reason that I wasn't dating Rach any more. Because, in the end, it was always about her, and what I could do for her. Kurt wanted New Directions to win too, but he said that it was my choice to go back or not. "I kind of don't want to talk about that right now. Is that okay?"
"Of course. I know how….difficult it can be. Can we talk about something else? There's only another 20 minutes left in class anyway, so it's not like you'll be missing much."
That sounded good to me. A part of me still loved Rachel; even though I knew that we were better off apart. Now that I had Kurt, and knew what love actually was, it was pretty obvious that she and I were better off as friends. "Don't you need to get back to class?"
She shrugged. "I'm running a 98.8 average in algebra; missing one class shouldn't drag it down. I think you and I clearing the air between us takes precedence."
I hadn't known that the air needed clearing, but sure, I guess. Then I wondered what it would be like to have a 98.8 average in any of my classes. No matter how hard I tried, and I really, really had been trying, I was lucky to get an 80 on anything. How come everyone I dated was so smart, when I was so stupid? "Ok."
Rachel led me outside and I shivered a little in the cold air. Most of the benches still had snow on them, but I used the sleeve of my coat to wipe one off so she would have somewhere to sit. "You're such a gentleman, Finn."
"Uh, thanks." I didn't like the way she said that. Like she was flirting with me or something, even though she knew about Kurt. But was flirting cheating? I had flirted with her when I was still dating Quinn. Except that had mostly been to get her to come back to Glee. Wait, was that better or worse?
"Can I ask you something, without you getting all huffy and stomping off?" She played with a strand of her hair, and I focused on that rather then her face.
"When do I ever get huffy and stomp off?" That was her specialty, not mine.
Except for when you found out about Mr. Shue. And when that Dakota guy had been making fun of you. And-
Ok, ok, so sometimes I stomped off, too. "Never mind, don't answer that. What did you want to ask me about?"
"Kurt." Her voice was really soft. "I just…what does he have that I don't?"
A penis. Sanity.
I told Quinn-voice to shut up. It wasn't about the penis, and Rachel wasn't that crazy. That voice just didn't like her.
Because you cheated on me with her!
Yeah, but only after you cheated on me with Puck! I would have done anything for you, and our baby, but she was never ours, and you were never mine, period! I was surprised at how furious I was about it, even in my own head. She had cheated me out of being a father, and she had tried to cheat Puck out of it, too. I shook my head hard, trying to get rid of the bad thoughts gathered in it. This was about me and Rachel, not me and Quinn. "I don't know. I really like you Rachel, I do. But…" I stopped there, because I didn't know how to put the thing with Kurt into words.
"But you're gay." She was giving me that weird smile that said all she wanted to do was cry.
"No. I'm not gay, because I like girls and stuff. I just…I don't know. Kurt's different. He's perfect just the way he is. Except, you know, he doesn't have boobs or anything, but that would just be weird." An image of Kurt with boobs (at least a B cup, maybe a small C) came into my mind, and I pushed it away really fast. Gross.
"He's really it, the one you want?" She asked it like she hadn't asked it just a few days before, like I was going to change my mind so quickly. "In your heart, do you feel more for him then you felt for me? Think about everything we went through together."
I did think about it, because I kind of owed her that much, but I didn't need to. My heart was telling me that Kurt was more then any girl I had ever dated, and any one I would date in the future. Period. But I had to think about the nicest possible way to tell Rachel that she was second best this time. Because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and also? I didn't want her to kill me. That? Would suck.
So I stared at my hands and counted to 300 and wished I was better at things like this. There's only so long you can stall someone, though, especially Rachel, so I had to nod. "I feel more for him then I do for anyone." That way it didn't sound like I was being too personal.
Still, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. It always sucks to find out that someone you really like doesn't like you back and there's only so much you can do to soften the blow.
She snapped to her feet, her dark eyes narrow. "That's your problem, Finn. You always think you feel more for the next best thing. Quinn, me, now it's Kurt. In a month or two, you'll feel more for someone else. You're fickle, Finn. You like the chase, but you don't like the actual having. I'm not saying I'm Kurt's biggest fan, but try to think a little before you screw him up, too." Then she was gone, racing across the snow and back in the building.
I let her go. If she had been Kurt, I would have chased her down and held her until she crumbled, but what Kurt needed wasn't what Rachel needed. She was like me, sometimes she just needed a break from it all, so she could figure it out in her own mind. Then she would be able to accept comfort from someone else. Kurt spent too much time alone as it was, and he needed someone to be with him and hold him while he sorted things out. Anyway, even if Rachel had wanted comfort, she wasn't mine any more, and I had lost the right to do so.
Plus, she hadn't exactly said anything that was wrong. I mean, I kind of did have a history of flirting when I probably shouldn't have, and it was kind of true that I had been way more interested in chasing her when I didn't think that I could actually have her then when I was actually dating her. But things were different with Kurt. I liked him even more now that I had him.
But what if she was right? Was I just going to end up breaking Kurt's heart and ruining him, too? Even though her feelings were hurt, Rach made it through our break up just fine. She had her dreams to make her happy, and those dreams were more important then me. We both knew it, even if we never said it out loud. But Kurt…losing me would crush him. And that's not just me having a big head either. Kurt's very brave, but super shy. Yeah, I know it's a little confusing, like an oxenmoron, which is when two things seem like they're opposites, but really they aren't. I know how hard it was for him to agree to a relationship with me, even though I knew he had really wanted one for more then a year. For the first time, I realized how this was going to look to everyone else.
Even if this all went perfectly and we stayed together, we were going to have to come out (come out? I think that's the right term, but what do I know?) eventually. Hiding shit gives me a stomachache, and this school is a raging gossip mill. Even if neither one of us said anything someone would see something, or hear something, or even just make some shit up that happened to be true this time. Then there would be two of us for them to pick on.
Only, I already knew that there wouldn't be. It would be Kurt that took all the punishment, just like always. He would be the creepy little fag who turned the quarterback gay. I would be safe from most of the school (though not Karofsky and his goons) because of my size. People might say things, but most of them aren't stupid enough to take on 6'3 inches and 265lbs. Kurt, on the other hand, was little and skinny and liked to run his mouth. In my eyes, that made him adorable and perfect for picking up and sassy, but to everyone else, he screamed 'target'.
What if Kurt got hurt because of me? The little gay kid was fun to throw in dumpsters and slam into lockers and throw slushies at, but he was considered generally harmless. I mean, he got bruised up a little sometimes, and he had probably ruined more clothes then I even owned, but he had never been seriously hurt.
But if it got out that he was with me now, people were going to think he had some sort of superpower that could turn people gay. Then they would be afraid that it would happen to them, like being gay was the worst possible thing that could happen to a dude, and they might actually do something to hurt him. I felt like throwing up just thinking about it. Having dreams where Kurt was hurt are bad enough, but if it actually happened in real life just because people are idiots…
Get off your high horse. It wasn't that long ago that you were pretty darn convinced that he was going to give you a bad case of the gay if you so much as talked to him. It's different now, because you love him, but don't pretend for one minute that you haven't had those exact same thoughts.
Quinn-voice wasn't exactly right about that. It wasn't that I thought Kurt would give me the gay, exactly; it was just that….well, I guess I never really thought about Kurt at all. He was just that weird little gay kid that we picked on sometimes. If he hadn't been gay, we probably would have still picked on him, because he was small and a loner and couldn't properly fight back. God, I made myself sound like a total douchebag when I said it like that.
If the douche nozzle fits…
God I hated that voice. Yeah, ok, I had been a jerk to Kurt, I got it! But I couldn't change that now, all I could do was treat him liked he deserved, which was like he was a king or pope or a mob boss or something. Which reminded me. I flipped open my phone and sent him a quick text.
Luv U. Finn
I don't exactly get why, but he loves it when I do little things like that. When I get texts from people, I mostly just read them then delete, but he saves them and shows them off to all the girls and they coo and he tells me that I'm finally getting in touch with my romantic side. Which is awesome, because when I'm in touch with my romantic side, he wants to get in touch with what's in my pants. Then I want to get in touch with what's in his pants (ok, I actually want that all the time), and we're all happy.
Social Studies was my next class, which was actually kind of awesome. I'm actually pretty good at filling in a map, because I go in a circle (clockwise, I think, but maybe it's the other one) and make up a little song to go with the countries. I just keep going around and around, the circles getting smaller and smaller until I'm done. I still can't spell them worth shit, but at least I know what they are. I'm so good at it that I can do an entire map of the US, all 50 states, which even Kurt can't do. Rach can, of course, because she's good at everything, but still, it's pretty cool.
Except today we weren't doing maps, we were talking about the war in Iraq, which was my least favorite thing ever. I hated it before, when I thought that Dad died over there, and I hated it even more now. How many kids were going to end up just like me, with Dads that managed to avoid a bullet, but came home so screwed up that they couldn't get away from themselves? I did what I usually did, which was sit in the back and cross my arms over my chest. I never said anything and the teacher never once called on me.
When class was over, I knew better then to look for Kurt. In order to come and see me, he would have to pass by the boy's locker room, which would put him right in the path of the hockey team. Instead, he would slide around the outside of the building, and go to math by sneaking in the side door. I wouldn't get to see him until school was over, and maybe not even then, since he had Glee and I had to go get tested. Sucky.
Since it turns out that I'm kind of pathetic, I staked out Kurt's locker at the end of the day. Or maybe I'm just a stalker, but I'm pretty sure pathetic beats stalker any day. He smiled when he saw me, but of course he couldn't like, kiss me or anything because someone might see. "Are you worried about your tests?"
"Yeah." No matter how many times he told me that it would be alright, that he would love me no matter what, I still felt like I was going to puke.
"Don't be. Just do your best and call me as soon as you're done." He patted my arm, which was as far as we dared go in school.
"Ok." I didn't want to look like a wuss in front of Kurt, so I turned and bravely walked back to Ms. Pillsbury's office.
She was there, cleaning off the desk using something that smelled like it could give you brain damage if you breathed it long enough. I lightly tapped the doorway, and she smiled at me. "Finn, hello! Why don't you sit down, and I'll get everything together. Did you bring the questionnaire that your mother filled out?"
"Yeah." I handed it over and she set it neatly on her desk.
Ms. Pillsbury found a stack of papers, but before she handed it to me, she looked right into my eyes. "Finn, before we start, do you want to talk to me about the Glee club and what happened? I am the guidance counselor after all."
Yeah, but she was also Mr. Shue's girlfriend, even though she was going to marry Coach Tanaka, which was just weird, and I knew that she would blab everything I said to him. "No."
"Are you sure? I mean, I know that this is a very difficult time for you, and I wanted to offer my support."
See, there's a side of me, the one that Kurt calls cynical (which is another word that's spelled weird, but Kurt showed me how to do it), that thought she meant that she was trying to figure out if Mom and I were going to sue the school or get Mr. Shue fired. The answer to that was probably not and maybe, but I wasn't going to tell her that. Let him suffer just like I had.
"I'm sure. Can we just start with the tests?" I just wanted to get this over with.
"If you insist." She handed me a packet of papers. "Why don't you fill these out while I go over what your mother put?"
The papers looked pretty easy, so easy that I had to read the instructions three times to make sure I got it right. Just read each question and mark down how often the statement seemed true. 0 for never and up to 4 for always. Easy, right?
Except a lot of the questions were really stupid. I mean, I get what it means when they ask if I get distracted or have trouble reading or writing, but why does it matter if I get carsick or wet the bed for too long (the answer to that is no by the way!)? And so I'm not organized, big deal. I'm a 16 year old boy, I'm never organized!
Still, it was kind of scary that I was giving a lot of the questions threes and fours. Especially when it came to the section about feeling bad about yourself. I mean, I know I have a lot of good stuff going for me, like a Mom that loves me and Kurt, but it's humiliating to be 16 years old and barely able to read.
I try super hard, and even Kurt tries to help me, but no matter how hard we work on things, I still choke on the tests. Then the teachers, especially bitchy Mrs. Greenwald in math tell me that that means I copied my homework off someone, which isn't true, and it's really bad when they say it in front of the whole class. Are teachers even allowed to do that?
Then there were some things that I wasn't sure how to answer. Was I fidgety? Did I not live up to my potential? Wasn't that what Ms. Pillsbury was supposed to be telling me? I was starting to think that she didn't have any idea what she was doing.
While I thought about it, I looked over some of the pamphlets on the counter. Help I'm In Love With My Stepdad! jumped out on me. I tried to imagine being in love with Burt instead of Kurt. Ewww, that was the grossest thing I could imagine. Well, maybe not the grossest. It would be way grosser to be eaten by zombies. Or worse, to have to have sex with a zombie. What if one of their parts fell off while we were doing it? Or what if-
"Finn, do your work, please." Ms. Pillsbury interrupted me and pointed back at the questionnaire.
"Sorry." I finished the first set of papers, then started on the next one. This one was more about my reading and writing skills (bad and worse), but it was shorter, so I was able to finish and give it back to her.
She smiled at me, but there was something kind of pitying about it. "What I'm going to do now are two writing exercises. I'm going to give you some paper and a paragraph, and I want you to copy it for me. Then I'm going to read a different paragraph and you'll write down what you hear."
That sounded really easy. Actually, these tests weren't anywhere near as hard as I thought that they would be. Maybe I wasn't stupid after all.
When I had finished with all of it, she gathered them into a pile. "Are you sure you don't want to talk to me about Glee club?"
The mean part of me came up. "No. My lawyer said that I'm not supposed to talk to anyone about that or it could ruin the case." Of course there was no lawyer or case, but I kind of liked the way her eyes got really big. "Can I go now?"
"Y-yes, of course." Her hand was up at her throat, and I felt kind of bad. I mean, what happened wasn't her fault.
I fired off a quick text to Kurt, hoping that Glee was out of the day. Within a few seconds, he shot one back, telling me to meet him in the auditorium. Cool, apparently Glee was out early.
The auditorium was deserted, and I chose my usual spot right in the middle. I only had to wait a few minute before Kurt came storming in and threw himself down beside of me. "This blows."
"Yeah?" I didn't want to sound curious about what was happening in Glee, but I couldn't help it.
He laid his head on my shoulder, and I rested my cheek on top of it. I flipped my hand palm up, offering it if he wanted to. His fingers found my, wrapping around them tightly. I squeezed. "Tell me."
"Mr. Ryerson is back. Apparently no one else is willing to take over a club that's earned the enmity of Sue Sylvester, so they let him come back and coach us." He shot me a pathetic look. "He put me in with the girls!"
I stroked his hair, because I hate it when he's upset. "But I thought you liked being in the with girls. You always pick to go over there when Shuester would split us up."
He heaved a shuddery sigh and I realized that his feelings were really hurt. "That's different! It's different when I make the choice to surround myself with people who are more likely to share my interests, not to mention who shower regularly. It's humiliating when someone else does it. Like I don't have enough problems with people thinking I'm a girl!"
At least I could fix this. "I don't think that you're a girl. Actually, I like your guy parts best of all. And I don't think you sing like a girl, either. You sound like a guy, and he's a moron if he doesn't see that. Next time, tell him that you won't do it."
Kurt didn't even act like he heard me. "He slapped my butt when I was crossing the room."
What! I snapped my head around. "Mr. Ryerson slapped you on the butt? What did everyone else do?" I couldn't believe that no one would stand up for Kurt.
He nuzzled closer, his face hot against my neck. "They didn't see it. I had to walk right by him and he did it really quick."
No one did that to my boyfriend. "We have to tell someone. That's just not cool."
"Who are we going to tell? He already got caught doing it once, and they let him come back. Face it, Finn; no one is going to care."
I'm pretty sure that there's nothing in the entire world that feels worse then not being able to fix things for your boyfriend. "I care. Next meeting, wait for me before practice. I don't want you alone with that pervert." I hadn't meant to say that, but I meant it with all my heart. I had to go back to Glee and face them sooner or later; it might as well be now.
Kurt squealed (he would deny it later, but it was a definite squeal), and covered my face with kisses. "I love you."
Ok, maybe it was worth it. "I love you, too."
He snuggled up again. "So, what did the tests say?"
"I don't know. I don't think I did very well, though." I hated to admit that, but it was ok because it was Kurt.
"Why not? Did you not finish?" He rubbed my neck, and I dropped my head down so he could reach better. God that felt good.
"No, I finished. But they had all these questions, not like yes or no questions, but they kind you fill out on a scale. You know 0 is never and 4 is always?" He nodded, and I kept going. "I had a lot of fours."
"But that's good." He looked up at me and smiled. "Those tests are looking for specific learning disabilities, rather then an allover low IQ. If you're getting a lot of strong answers, that probably means that you have one of the disorders that they're looking for. Once we know what the problem is, we can start taking steps to fix it."
This was why I loved him. Kurt always knew the right thing to say, and how to make me feel better. "So, it's good."
"Yep, it's good." He squeezed me one more time. "I have to help Dad out at the garage today, but how about I call you tonight? Maybe you'll know more then."
"Cool. Mom and I are going out to dinner, but I'll call you after. I love you." I squeezed his shoulders, and he grinned at me and squeezed back. "Love you, too. Is your Mom picking you up, or do you need a ride?"
I was tempted to tell him that I needed a ride, but then we'd probably just end up going to his place and screwing around again. As cool as that was, I was really hungry. Once I got started with Kurt, I wouldn't want to leave and we would end up fooling around until one of us starved to death. Probably him, since he's way skinnier then I am. "Mom's going to come get me."
"Do you want me to sit with you until she gets here?"
Like I ever didn't want him around. "Yeah."
He kept leaning against my shoulder while I called Mom, and I really wished that it could always be like this.
Well, maybe one day it can be. You won't be able to hide this thing forever, and, when it all blows up, remember this moment, and be proud to call him your boyfriend.
I would be. "Mom will be here in 15 minutes."
He smiled, and it made my heart jump, just like always. "Then I get you all to myself for 10?"
"Right." He closed his eyes when he leaned against me. "I won't let Mr. Ryerson touch you again."
"Hmmm." Kurt all but purred against me, his breathing going slow.
Right then, I knew what I had to do. Mr. Ryerson was a pervert, and I couldn't trust him around Kurt, not even for a second. But I couldn't be there all the time either, and no one else was willing to coach the Glee club. Well, except for….fuck, I was going to have to get Mr. Shue to come back.
Can you do that? Can you swallow your pride, and get over what he did to you?
If it would keep Kurt safe, yes I could. There was no way I could let him end up like Hank, who was the last kid Mr. Ryerson touched. Well, supposedly. It had been his word against Hank's, and no one had been able to prove anything. In the end, they had dismissed Mr. Ryerson, but no charges were filed. We were all expected to just go on, like it had never happened.
Then, one day, Hank was just gone. No one seemed to be exactly sure where he had was, but there were a million rumors. According to one, he couldn't take the humiliation any more and had moved in with his uncle. If you wanted to believe Santana, he had tried to kill himself and ended up in the mental ward of the hospital. I wouldn't believe that, since Santana lies all the time, but her mom is a doctor, and she might actually know something.
I couldn't let that happen to Kurt. Even if Hank had just moved away, it would suck not to have Kurt in my life. Plus, he didn't have an uncle to move in with. At least not one that he ever talked about.
But thinking about Hank made me realize something else. It had been Hank's word against Mr. Ryerson's, and now it was my word against Mr. Shue's. But no one had actually asked me anything yet. They were all going off what Coach Sylvester had said. If I were to support Mr. Shue's version instead of hers, everyone would believe me! I could still fix this.
Kurt was almost asleep now, and I nudged him gently. "Wake up, Spider Monkey."
"I wasn't sleeping." Kurt would have been so much more believable if he didn't need my help to stand up. I made him walk around a little bit and drink some water out of the one cold fountain in the school, because I didn't want him to get in an accident because he fell asleep driving home.
I walked him out to his car, making sure he got there safely. Not that I thought Mr. Ryerson would, like, be lurking in the bushes or something, but I wouldn't put it past the hockey team. Luckily, there was no one there, and we were able to sit in his car (which he says I'm never allowed to drive again. Whoever squealed about me and the mailman is a dead man.) until Mom pulled up. I gave him one last kiss and bounced over to the car.
Mom gave me her usual big smile and hug, but there was something funny in her eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Why don't we talk about it during dinner? Do you want to go to Outback?"
Uh-oh. Outback was expensive when you ate like I do, and she only suggested it when she was about to drop some sort of bomb on me. "Ms. Pillsbury told you that I'm stupid, didn't she."
"No. She said that you're a very sweet boy, and that you followed the directions very well."
That didn't make me smart. That just meant that I was sweet and I listened well. But Mom sounded all sad and I hated it when she cried. "Oh, ok. And yeah, Outback sounds good."
I was mega patient on the way to the restaurant. I even waited until we were seated and had each eaten a little piece of bread before I asked again. "What did she say, then?"
She took another nibble. "What your teacher said was that she wasn't qualified to make a diagnosis, but that you had strong indicators of having both dyslexia and attention deficit disorder."
Wasn't attention deficit disorder something that little kids got? And I didn't even know what dyslexia was. "What does that mean?"
"It doesn't mean that you're stupid. Actually, she said that she thinks you're pretty smart. What both of those things mean is that you don't learn like other people. You get easily distracted, but it's not your fault. Your brain just doesn't work the same way that most people's do. But working differently doesn't mean that it doesn't work at all. She wants to send you to a specialist who works with both disorders. He can make a definite diagnosis and figure out what we should do." She sounded like she was going to cry, which made me want to cry, but I wasn't about to that in public.
I took another piece of bread. "We don't have enough money to go to a specialist. It'll be ok, Mom, I promise."
"It's not your job to worry about money, Finn. If you needed your appendix out, or your tonsils, I would find the money to make it happen. This is no different."
I might be stupid, but I wasn't so dumb that I didn't know how much a specialist cost. "But I'll be ok. I mean, I've been making it for 16 years, I can make it for two more."
Mom shook her head. "That's it, Finn, you're just making it. I know how hard you try at stuff, and you shouldn't have to try so hard. If there's a medication or therapy that can help you, make things easier, it would be foolish not to. I want you to go to college, and, even if you don't, you're going to have these same problems at any job you get. You need to go now, and there will be no arguments about it. Are you ready to order?"
That meant she wasn't going to listen to me, no matter how smart my arguments were. Not that I actually had any arguments. The thought of spending my entire life feeling as stupid as I did right now was kind of scary. "I'm ready to order. When am I supposed to go to this specialist?"
She relaxed, and I realized that she had been expecting me to keep fighting her. "I haven't made the appointment yet. I wanted to talk to you first."
"It's cool." It really wasn't, and I felt tears prickling at the back of my eyes. Not only did I have something wrong with me, but I was going to end up costing Mom money that we didn't really have. I took a deep breath. "I'm going back to Glee on Wednesday."
"Really?" She was doing that Mom thing were they try to pretend that they're all surprised, but they actually knew it all along. "Are you really sure that that's what you want?"
"Yes." I needed to tell her the rest of my plan, but that would mean admitting that I was about to lie to the principal, which I'm pretty sure she won't go along with. "Uh, about Mr. Shue, though." A thought so brilliant I could barely believe it came from my brain suddenly popped up. "I made a mistake."
"You did?" She put down her menu and looked really deep into my eyes. Shit, this wasn't going to be easy. "What sort of mistake did you make?"
"He's not the one who put the drugs in my locker. Coach Sylvester did that." See how smart I was?
"The cheerleading coach put drugs in your locker? Why?" She didn't sound like she believed me.
"Because she's evil. She hates Mr. Shue, and she hates the Glee club, so she was trying to screw us over. She didn't show me the entire tape, but when I saw it, you could see that she was the one who put the drugs in there. Mr. Shue was putting my Spanish homework in there. I just didn't give him a chance to explain things." I looked down like I was ashamed of myself for being so judgmental.
"Oh, Finn." Mom's voice was all soft, and I knew that I had fooled her. She reached out and slipped hand under my chin, just like she had when I was very small and she wanted my attention. I met her eyes, which looked just like mine and she made a face. "Do I look like I'm an idiot?"
Oops, I had pushed it too far. "W-what do you mean?" Shit, I was so busted!
"So, what you're telling me is that the cheerleading coach put drugs in your locker, to frame Mr. Shuester and discredit the Glee club."
"Yes?" We both knew that I was screwed and it came out sounding more like a question.
"And she did this all before you even joined the club? Did she put drugs in the locker of every other boy at the school, or was it just you?"
Maybe this plan wasn't as smart as I had thought it was. "Uh…"
"Finn, I'm going to remind you that I'm your mother, and you can not lie to me. You're 16 years old, and you would think that you'd eventually figure that out." She patted my shoulder. "Now, tell my why you just lied to me."
I guessed it was time to cut the bullshit. "I want Mr. Shue to be our coach again, and he can't be if people think he put drugs in my locker."
"But he did put drugs in your locker, Finn. I understand that you're attached to him, and that he's been very kind to you, but he committed a crime and he deserves to be punished. Yesterday you wanted to get him fired and sue the school. Why do you suddenly want him back so badly?"
"I don't like the guy that replaced him. He's mean." And a pervert, but I didn't want to say that.
"You haven't even been to one practice with him, how do you know that he's mean?" She was using that stupid voice that parents use when they're trying to get you to do something like eat broccoli.
"Kurt said so."
That was the right thing to say. Mom thinks that Kurt is like the coolest guy ever, and everything that comes out of his mouth is perfect. Actually, I think the same thing, so I can see where she's coming from. "Who is it, and why does Kurt think that he's mean?"
"Mr. Ryerson. You know, the one who did that weird play?" Even though Rach had lost out on the lead, she insisted on dragging me along to it, just so she could tell me how much better she would have done it
Mom wrinkled her nose. "Oh."
That was a good sign. "He's creepy and he wears this little robe where you can practically see his junk even when he's not bending over. He made Kurt go over and stand with the girls, even though he's a boy, and he slapped him on the butt!"
She snapped upright. "Let me get this straight. Mr. Ryerson, a teacher, slapped Kurt, a student, on the butt. Did Kurt tell you that?"
"Yeah." She turned bright red, and I was really glad that it wasn't me in trouble this time. "But don't think that you can tell someone and he'll get fired. He's done it before and he made the last guy try and kill himself. Or maybe Hank went to go live with his uncle, I'm not sure. But they won't fire him."
Her eyes narrowed. "I have half a mind to pull both of you out of that school. He's being sexually harassed by a teacher, you aren't getting the help you need until you've almost graduated, and that Sylvester woman has way too much power."
Well, yeah. All that was true, but the only part of it that we could change was Kurt and Mr. Ryerson. I told Mom that, and she nodded. "Finn, there has to be another way to do this."
"Ok, let's think of one." Our food came and we both ate quietly, trying to think of a way to fix this. There wasn't one of course, and Mom eventually had to admit defeat.
She stabbed her steak in a way that made me think she was pretending she was stabbing Mr. Shue instead. Or maybe it was Coach Sylvester or Mr. Ryerson. I think there's a lot of people Mom wants to stab right now. I waited until she looked less pissed off, and looked up at her. "Mom? It's ok, really. Mr. Shue's a good teacher, and we can get past this."
"Finn, he lied to you. He did something illegal and you could have been in huge trouble if someone besides him had found that pot. He was in a position of power over you, and he used that as an excuse to manipulate you."
I hated to do this, but I had to pull out the big guns. If Mom wouldn't back me up, it didn't matter what I told Figgins. "Puck lied to me and I forgave him. You lied and I forgave you. I don't think what Mr. Shue did was as bad as either one of those things."
"Finn-"She was probably going to tell me why it was different, but I cut her off. "This is the only way that he's going to get to come back, and the only way Kurt is going to be safe. Plus, I want to win Regionals, and the only way that's going to happen is if Mr. Shue coaches us. Mr. Ryerson coached the Glee club forever, and it sucked. It's called making a sacrifice, and I'm ok with it."
"You shouldn't have to be ok with it." She was weakening, I could tell.
"Yeah, I know. But lots of things happen that shouldn't happen." If I had learned nothing else this year, it was that.
Mom sighed. "I don't approve of lying, Finn, you know that. But this might be one of those situations where it's the best possible outcome. If you want to tell the principal that it was that Cheerleading coach that put the drugs in your locker, I won't say different. Just be sure that you're doing the right thing."
"I am." That was the cool thing about being with Kurt. The right thing was usually pretty obvious.
"Do you need me to go with you when you talk to the principal?"
I kind of wanted her to, but I also kind of think that this is one of those times when I should probably just man up and do it myself. She was right, I was almost grown up. "Nah, I'll be ok."
She looked down at her meal for a long time, moving stuff around like Kurt does when he's trying to pretend that he's eating, but he's really not. When she finally looked up, I thought that it looked like she might want to cry. "You're such a sweet boy, Finn, and I don't want you to lose that. But I also don't want you to let anyone push you around, either."
I was about to tell her that no one could push me around because I was the biggest guy in school, but then I realized that she was talking about the other type of pushing around, and I had to admit she might have a point. "I'm not. Kurt didn't say anything about any of this, I did it by myself. The only thing he said was that Mr. Ryerson smacked his ass."
"Language. But I believe you. Now eat your food instead of just cutting it up, and we'll rent a movie on the way home."
"Mega-shark versus the Crocasaurus?" Kurt never wanted to watch that one either, but come on! A giant shark fighting a giant alligator/dinosaur thing? Genius!
"Twilight." She was bargaining now.
"That's a chick movie! Anyway, Kurt already made me watch it and it sucked. If I saw a vampire that sparkled, I would laugh my ass off."
"Language again. Harry Potter 6, final offer. And watch that mouth of yours."
"Deal." See, Harry Potter was bad ass! There were dragons and evil wizards, and staircases that moved. There were even parts of it that were pretty scary for a PG movie.
Twilight had those huge werewolves. Those were pretty bad ass.
Yeah, ok, those had been pretty cool. Except Kurt had gotten all stupid looking when he saw the head wolf with most of his clothes off, which put the movie right back in the suck pile. Kurt was only supposed to look stupid when he saw me!
You look stupid about 85% of the time, so don't pick on Kurt for perving on that guy. He was pretty attractive.
No he wasn't. He just looked like every other guy out there, which wasn't hot. The only guy in the world who was hot was Kurt. I had asked him one time if that meant there was something wrong with me, that I just liked girls and him, but he said that there wasn't. That it was never wrong to like someone, and, no matter who I was attracted to, it was alright.
Except of course, if you're a pedophile like Mr. Ryerson. Kurt had laughed when I said that (even though I didn't say Mr. Ryerson, because he wasn't there then) and said that, yeah, that was a bad thing. But that, one day, I would probably find a guy besides him that I was attracted to. I didn't think so, but I nodded anyway. I would always like Kurt best of any guy in the world, I knew that for sure.
You know what? I might have a big learning disability (or two of them, apparently), but I could never be stupid enough to think someone was better then Kurt.
Huh. Maybe I was pretty smart after all.