Authors' Foreword

It's time for the morning after! How much will be remembered? Will mouths be kept shut? How many bones in either guys will Shego break? Guess we'll find out shortly!

ELELELELEL

At the damnably early hour of 6am, Shego woke up to the sounds of dishes clattering in the next room. Suppressing a growl, she wrapped a pillow over her head to try and drown out the noise and get back to sleep. It didn't take her long to realize that sleep was no longer an option. She was very definitely awake. And angry.

The empty spot on the bed next to her gave her a pretty good idea of who was being an inconsiderate ass. Shego hopped out of bed and stomped her way over to the mostly shut door. Waking a bride up early on her wedding day… Drakken was gonna regret it!

She threw open the door, hands flaming, and yelled, "DRAK-.."

Her yell cut off when she took in the scene in front of her. Dr D sat on the couch in the middle of the room, apparently finishing off his breakfast of some kind of scrambled eggs and toast. In front of him on the small table was a smorgasbord of food. Not just any food, either. It was some of her favorites: caviar, a couple of grapefruits, a plate of crepes, salmon in a sauce, without capers — she HATED those nasty little things — cold borscht, and a jug of what was probably pomegranate juice.

"I… Ah… Surprise?" Drakken said carefully, freezing his person and watching her worriedly.

Her complaints were stolen from her as she realized that Drakken must have gone to a lot of trouble to get some of these dishes prepared for this morning. She just couldn't be angry now; it was probably one of the most thoughtful things he'd ever done for her.

Whether that spoke to how little he did for her or how young their relationship was she wasn't sure. It didn't really matter.

Hands dropping and flaming out, Shego walked over to the couch and sat down next to him. She turned to him, giving him a rare soft smile as she took one of his hands in hers and squeezed.

"You did good, Doc."

His smile was wide and genuine, and Shego felt a little bad for being so upset at him earlier. He was always a light sleeper, and to expect him to change that and forcibly sleep in for her was asking for something on the impossible side. Though really, considering how drunk he was…

Suddenly remembering that, she said with some disbelief, "I'm pretty shocked that you're actually managing to get around and think as well as you are. You should be amazingly hung over."

"Hm?" Her fiance looked at her, confused, as he piled together his dirty dishes. "Why would I be hung over? I don't think I drank last night. I mean…" His hands went to his back and butt. With some wincing, he said, "I ache in weird places, like I was in a fight or something. My head's buzzing a little, too. I thought Eddie or one of his thug friends hit me too hard in the head or something and that's why things are a little fuzzy memory-wise."

Dr D had no hangover even with how drunk he was the night before? Shego felt a little jealous; she was immune to alcohol, even the initial buzz that most people talked about and liked. For him to get all the benefits with almost none of the drawbacks was unfair. Must be the plant powers or something.

"So, Drew... What all did you and Eddie do last night?" Doc opened his mouth, brows furrowed, when Shego countered his unspoken complaint, "Whatever you remember, at least. I know that your memory's a little weird right now, but maybe talking about it could help."

"Er... Well…" He leaned back and crossed his arms as he tried to remember what happened through the haze of booze. "I… We went to a strip bar. Eddie had said that we could still 'watch the scenery', whatever that means. I remember…" Drew flushed, apparently embarrassed at whatever he was thinking.

Having an idea of what it was, Shego said while fighting a smirk, "He kissed you, right?"

"No!" Drew blinked at his own exclamation, then jumped away from Shego a little, worry on his face as he hurriedly added, "Well, it was more I kissed him. I was, erm, insecure about how I kiss. And drunk."

"Yeah doc, I kinda got that from your rambling last night." Deciding it was something to address later, she prodded, "So what happened after that?

"Eddie dragged me out… I… I think we went to his motel room?" Drew tilted his head as he thought hard about it. "No, wait, I wanted to look at the stars. It was clear last night, and I wanted to see my favorite constellations. The Corona Borealis is at its clearest at this time of year. Eddie obliged me for some reason. And…" His eyes widened as they had before, but this time he at least kept talking. And, for some reason, he looked both confused and intrigued. "Aren't those things that boys and girls do together...?"

Shego's eyebrow rose in skepticism. "Boys and girls?" When Drew seemed to ignore her, her eyebrows drooped in annoyance and her voice hardened a bit, "You wanna clarify that a bit?"

"Nnnngh…" The blue man began to twiddle his fingers. "Eddie... He said that you said no hookers or letting me touch strippers, but that you didn't say anything... About… Erm… Well, him. And then… We…" As Drew's eyes widened in horror, while Shego's narrowed. "...oh. Oh no. Oh no!" He looked at his fiancee and scooted away, then stopped and sighed in apparent defeat. Bracing himself, he said, "If you want to roast me right now, go ahead. I just... I..."

"Drew." Shego took his hand in one of hers once again, then raised the other with surprising gentleness to turn his face meet her gaze. "What. Happened?"

"Er, hrm. I, hngh..." His eyes darted down and he cringed back a little. A soft squeeze from her hand helped to make him relax, if just a little. "I, I, erm, me and Eddie apparently went, uh, we did… Adult stuff. Cheating stuff." The self-recrimination on Drew's face made Shego want to either comfort him since it was just a physical thing or slug him for giving in even when he was trashed to hell. Maybe she would do both later. But... He was being honest with her, so maybe just rip him up one side and down the other, then comfort him would be enough. "Eddie, erm, tried to start things off, but, well, neither of us... Nnngh... I got frustrated, I took control, and things were better."

"You took control? As in Eddie bottomed?" Drew flinched, then nodded. Shego sat for a moment, thinking about what he had just told her. Eventually, in a distantly intrigued voice similar to his earlier introspection, she just said, "...huh. Never thought Eddie'd be into that sort of thing."

Dr D's mouth flopped open and closed a few times, clearly baffled with Shego's nonchalant response. It made her attempt at amused indifference — she couldn't quite stifle the intrigue, her personal proclivities wouldn't allow it — completely worth it. The look on his face was priceless!

"Shego, I just admitted to cheating on you," he finally said, choking up on the last few words. "How can you just, just be like that?!"

Shego watched him for a moment before replying. "Frankly, Doc, it sounds like it was all on Eddie. You were trashed, yeah?" He nodded with some hesitance. "And Eddie was sober?" Another nod, though he did raise his hand in a 'fifty-fifty' gesture. "So, from the sounds of it, Eddie took advantage of you."

Drew paled. "But, but I didn't-.."

"Up-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup." Shego pushed his lips together with her free hand to stop him talking. "This isn't your fault, Drew. Though…" She paid careful attention to his demeanor as she asked, "Do you feel violated?"

"Er…" He winced, then looked up in thought, then winced again, and mumbled, "Well, I, ah, I , erm… GACK!" Petals burst from his neck. The green woman fought the urge to laugh at Drakken's obvious distress, knowing that it would just make him close up. "Nnngh!" He pulled the petals off as he apparently honestly answered, "No, I don't. In fact…" guilt laced his next words "I really enjoyed it! It was, well, nice. Even though I was drunk, I was the one that was in control... Er, well, kind of."

"Huh." Digesting that for a moment, she thought on why, exactly, she was acting so apparently indifferent to the revelation of her fiance's activities with his cousin the night before. It didn't take too long to strike on why that was. With a giggle, she said, "Well, at least I'm the one that popped your cherry. Glad that neither of us were able to wait until now…" As he floundered in shock and confusion, she added with a cat-like grin, "Don't worry, Drew, I won't hurt Eddie for this. Much. Just gotta teach him his place beyond being under you."

"Do you promise?" Drew asked nervously, apparently deciding to take her acceptance at face value and ignoring her little jab as a joke. "He is family..."

"I said don't worry, so don't! I would've been more upset if you'd woken up with a hangover or something." To reinforce her statement, she squeezed his hand a few more times, while mentally adding, Besides, this is really rather… Interesting...

With that small comment, Shego realized that while Dr D may have dodged the hangover bullet, there was no way Eddie had. She wasn't sure how, without causing him bodily harm... Though... She had experienced one of Eddie's 'five alarm' hangovers that one night he stayed at the lair, back when they stole that one kid's wheelchair. Complaining about needing the hair of a dog, a phrase had mystified Doc to no end, instead of a sensible glass of water and an aspirin or two. Not to mention whining away half the morning when he couldn't find more than a couple wine coolers one of the henchmen preferred in the fridge.

Oh, that's positively evil, Shego... the thief tittered to herself, It's perfect! A vicious smirk

crossed her face as she thought on how to capitalize on this stroke of fate to make Eddie suffer for his failings the night before.

"Uh, Shego?" Her doc sidled away from her on the couch, a nervous titter in his voice. "You have one of your scary faces. Are you sure I'm not in trouble?"

The green woman chuckled a little and looked at her beau even as she picked up a fork to start in on her breakfast. "No, you aren't in trouble… In fact, I'm glad you woke me up this early. Gives me time to… Take care of business."

"Good! Now then..." He paused and mumbled, sounding like he was thinking aloud, "Should I forget last night...?"

Shego's sharp glare let him know what the answer was. Just because she was okay with it having happened didn't mean that she would play second fiddle to anyone, especially in the doc's fantasies. Unless... Well, negotiations could be made for sharing...

"Either way, let's get things together for now..." Drakken got up from the couch and went over to the closet. He pulled his tux out of the dry cleaning bag and began to put it on. For some reason, he was far more worried about getting groomed in time for the wedding than Shego was. With a small grimace, he said quietly, "I do feel bad for Eddie…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

ELELELELEL

Shego walked into the small church in downtown Lowerton with fell purpose. This was her wedding venue, one that would be finding use in a little under four hours, and so it wasn't so unusual for her to be there. However, her reason was very much not in keeping with the feelings that were supposed to be associated with weddings and churches.

A scowl almost came to her face as she thought on Eddie's irresponsibility. While the motorhead definitely wasn't the most responsible man around, she had still expected him to be able to follow a simple list. Apparently he liked the idea of being horribly disfigured by plasma and drinking more than following her 'what to do, what not to do' list.

But that would be later. For now, Shego would be satisfied making his experience at the wedding as horrible as she could manage without wrecking it for anyone else. Especially her and Dr D.

It was easy enough to find the organist. The fact that he was practicing for the wedding made his location very obvious.

He was just wrapping up a rendition of 'You Are The Best Thing' when Shego tapped him on the shoulder. Turning around, her short poker buddy looked up at her with a smile.

"Heya Shego gal!" he said brightly with his high-pitched voice, his big nosed, thin moustachioed face all smiles as he hopped off of the stool to stand in front of her.

"Hi Kidd." Shego didn't actually know his real name. No one did, really. All anyone knew him as was 'the Kidd'. Not that it mattered. It wasn't like she used her real name with anyone but really, really close family.

"What brings you to this dump of a church so early? Setting up for the assassination?" Kidd joked, elbowing her in the hip.

"Oh please. You know that if I'd wanted to knock off Dr D I would've had better places and timing to do it than in a church in front of a bunch of witnesses," she replied, studying her nails with indifference. "No, what I had in mind was something a little more petty."

"Petty? You? Oh, say it ain't so, girl!"

Even with the feelings of vengeance on her mind, Shego couldn't fully repress the titter at his joke.

"Yeah, I know. It's such a shocker," she deadpanned with a small smirk.

"So then," the short man said, crossing his arms and leaning against the stool, "how can a humble poker hustler help the hottest gal he's ever known get some petty revenge during her wedding?"

"Well, it's like this…"

Shego told him about the events as she understood them — leaving out the kissing and incest, since that was something she felt just a bit too personal — finishing up with her insight into Eddie's current state. Once she finished, the Kidd was nodding in understanding.

"Yeah, that really does sound like it needs some kind of payback. Idiots like that…" He shook his head in disappointment, firmly enough that his meticulously kept pompadour shook a bit. "This Eddie guy sounds like some kind of hick." Kidd said with distaste, "You sure you wanna marry into that sort of thing?"

"Eh, less hick and more redneck, metalhead biker with delusions of grandeur." A chuckle escaped her as she noted, "The Doc's nothin' like him, unless he's trying to get Eddie on friendlier terms. At least Dr D seems to have learned his lesson from that mulleted idiot leaving him in prison last year." She shrugged at the same time the Kidd shrugged, smiling in understanding. "Thankfully, Eddie's something like a second or third cousin. He only hangs around the doc and his mom because no one else in the family will suffer him."

"Hrm… Still doesn't sound like a smart move that the gal I know to be pretty savvy would make," he said, eyeing her critically. The Kidd scratched his head, taking care not to displace his pompadour, and sighed, "But it is your choice. If you wanna get bogged down with a maddie and his family, go right ahead. I don't mind…" a smug grin came to his face "...as long as you still show up every once in a while so we can hustle the newbies at the club."

"Like anyone could keep me away!" Shego laughed with some villainous glee. Changing gears, she asked, "So how loud can these pipes get, and how loud are you legally able to play them…?"

ELELELELEL

A seriously harsh high-pitched whistle tore the mane man from his restless slumber and back into the real world. Eddie forced his crusty eye open as he rolled out of the small motel bed and onto the floor. Crawling, trying to ignore the familiar ache in his head and body, he made his way over to the alarm the Green Babe had loaned him to make sure he woke up in time for the wedding.

He smashed it with his fist. It caused a throb of pain behind his eyes, but it served to silence the little carry-around alarm thing. The sudden lack of noise was a grace to the motorhead; goodness knew his hangovers were some of the most bogus kinds that existed.

Everything hurt him. Light, noise, movement… It all combined to make him nauseous and in pain. Whenever he drank this much, he tended to curl up in a hole with a bottle of whiskey and wait it out until he could open his eyes without flinching.

Eddie couldn't do that today, though. He'd totally promised Mama L that he'd be there for the wedding no matter how messed up he was, part of the reason why Green had loaned him her super-alarm.

...she was seriously totally gonna kill him since he broke it, but she was already gonna do that anyway with the condition he had dropped Drew off in.

Condition. Last night. Drew.

Eddie was suddenly wide awake as he flashed back to the bits and pieces from last night. His hands rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes and quickly dusted his clothes off, ignoring the small extra throbs of pain in his head as he did so. He didn't quite remember everything about last night — he never did when he drank like that — but he remembered enough to know that he seriously wasn't digging his cuz with Green Babe.

No, instead he was totally digging Drew himself. Eddie was never much of an introspection kind of man which is probably why it took so long for him to catch a clue. His blue cousin was seriously his kind of guy!

Eddie stumbled over to the sink and poured some achingly loud and cold water down his throat, hoping to stifle the hangover a little. He hadn't had enough foresight to leave himself a scotch or something to mitigate things. A seriously stupid mistake on his part.

As he tended to his awesome mane, Eddie thought about everything in general.

He dug Drew.

Green Babe dug Drew.

Drew must've totally dug him and kinda dug Green Babe, enough to get hitched anyway.

So, considering all of that and the things that society at large had taught him through movies and stuff, Eddie came to one conclusion: he had to stop this thing and seriously show Drew that Eddie dug him more than Green Babe did.

Now the only problem was how he could totally manage to break this bogus wedding up without getting skinned by everyone involved…

Authors' Notes

Oh… Oh no! What in the world is wrong with Motor Ed? Doesn't he know that that only applies to heteronormative romance movies with a quirky side character to break the tension? And not with a couple where one of the members can fry him like a fish filet?

And Shego… What else is she planning besides giving Eddie the hangover from hell? Who knows? Well, us authors do, but you'll have to wait until next time!