Kurt POV
Oh, God, somebody douse me with water. Somebody pour ice on me. Somebody do something before I spontaneously combust. Because I have never, never been this turned on in my entire life. Watching Finn take control of the situation, to man up and take on the teacher to get his way was so, so, sexy. And knowing that he was doing it to defend me? Oh, God yes.
I hadn't been kidding when I told him that no one ever defended me. Ever. No one stopped the jocks of McKinley High from pushing me into the lockers, or throwing me in the dumpsters, or tossing slushies at me.
There was a time when Finn didn't stop them either.
That was true. But that time wasn't this time. This time it was Finn doing whatever it took to make sure that Mr. Ryerson never put his hands on me again. That alone would make me forgive Finn anything. The rest of it? Icing on the cake.
To be honest, I hadn't been terribly surprised when I felt him slap my butt. He had been giving me long, flirty looks all day, and I had been doing my best to ignore him and pretend that it wasn't happening. Gross. He was old, and perverted, and, worst of all, not Finn.
He had just split us into girls and boys (really? Girls vs boys? Can't they come up with anything else? We get it, both genders are great and have their own strengths. But anyway, I digress.). I pressed close to Artie, wishing that Finn was there.
"Oh, Kurt? I want you over with the girls." I froze in horror. I had been working so hard to get the guys to accept me and treat me like one of them, and this was not going to help! "Go on, go on." He fluttered his hands at me and I made a mental note to never, ever succumb to that stereotype.
I tried holding my ground. "But this is boys vs. girls and I'm a boy."
"Yes, obviously. But your vocal range in more in with the girls, and I'll be able to assist you better over there. Now go on. Fly little bird."
When he said the word 'obviously', he looked me up and down in a way that made my skin crawl. I wanted Finn there, pronto.
"But…" I looked around helplessly, but no one was going to help. Mercedes was making little 'come here' gestures, but every other person in the room was finding somewhere else to look. Nervous chatter sprung up all over the place, just so they could pretend that it wasn't happening. Like I said no one ever stands up for me.
It was humiliating to have to stand up and go over there, but I had been humiliated over and over during my short career at McKinley High, so I put my chin up and marched over there was strongly as I could, refusing to let any of them see how upset I was.
Because I was trying so hard not to cry, I veered a little too close to Mr. Ryerson. The man might be a perv, but let it never be said that his misses an opportunity. As I passed Mr. Ryerson, I felt something give me a sharp slap on the rear. A part of me didn't want to believe that it had just happened, but I knew that it had. No one else had noticed, which made me question my sanity. Then I made the mistake of looking up at Mr. Ryerson. He smiled at me and did that tiny little wave thing that I knew meant 'call me'.
I threw myself down next to Mercedes and crossed my arms over my chest, glaring as evilly as I could. Mr. Ryerson smirked at me, but he let it go for the minute. A part of me wanted to storm out, but the majority was so humiliated that I just wanted to curl into a ball and die. I wouldn't have even let Finn smack me like that. It was demeaning, and repulsive, and made me feel like a fricking hooker! And not the high class Julia Roberts kind of hooker either. More like the hooker that Charlize Theron got all ugly to play.
We can not tell Finn this. Ever. He'll freak out and probably hit Mr. Ryerson, and then he'll get suspended and we can not have the on our concionce. Keep your mouth shut for once. And that includes right after sex, when you tend to blurt out any number of inappropriate things.
I agreed with Galinda, of course, but then Finn called, and I agreed to meet him in the auditorium. Despite all my earlier promises, I blurted out exactly what had happened. Ok, maybe I did it just because I wanted to see how Finn would react. Would he be pissed? Or would he do exactly what everyone else did, and pretend that it hadn't happened?
Finn came through in a blaze of glory. He was pissed, but, for once, he didn't fly off the handle. Actually, if I had scripted his response, it couldn't have been any better. And then he came over to Mr. Shue's today and I needed to get with him, right now. Of the entire Glee Club, Finn was the only one who stood up for me. Like I said, he was He-man.
He reached over laying a hand on my forehead. "Are you feeling ok? You look really, really flushed and I don't want you to ralph on the leather."
I mentally ran my fathers work schedule and realized that he would be just getting home. "Turn around."
"What?" Finn looked confused.
"Turn this car around and take us to your house. Your mother is working tonight, right?"
He gave me that dopey half smile, and I knew that he was getting where I was going with this. "Yeah."
"Then turn this car around so we can go to your place and get naked."
The tires shrieked as he spun a quick (and illegal) U-turn in the middle of the road. "Alright! I've got the power!"
I had to laugh at that, mostly to blow off some tension. That He-man thing was going to haunt me for a long time, I could tell. Still, it was Finn, and everything he did was cute in my mind, so I let it go. Well, almost everything. Finding out that he had been using my 45 dollar an ounce face cream as lube for what he referred to as 'special alone time' with himself had tested that cuteness, but the 'I'm sorry' blow job he had given me later went a long way towards making up for it.
That, naturally, made me wonder what else Finn had done wrong lately, because holding grudges gave you wrinkles. Therefore, it would be much more beneficial to both my libido and my face if he just did all his confessing at the Alter of Kurt.
You know, I think he might need to do a little penance as well.
That idea I liked. I liked it very, very much. But what sort of penance should Finn have to do?
Ok, apparently I wasn't being clear enough, so let me try this. Tie that boy to the bed and have your wicked way with him. If you have to make up a crime, so be it. Got it now?
Yes, that was very clear. As was in the image of Finn tied to his bed, completely at my mercy. Screw him taking charge, he had already had his chance today. This time, I was going to be the boss.
Thank God. Do you know how long it's been since we got any sex at all?
Two days. And that had me jerking him off in the bathroom at my place while Carole and Dad set the table for dinner. Then he had decided I needed a pre-dinner blow job, which was why the garlic bread had gotten a little burned. Finn had eaten the worst pieces, though, and told me that it was delicious anyway. If that wasn't love, what was?
"We're here, Spider Monkey. What did you plan on-" Anything else he might have wanted to say was cut off by me launching myself at him and covering his lips with mine. He jumped, but then seemed to decide that this was exactly what he wanted, because he lifted me over the center console and into his arms. From his new vantage point, it was easy to run my tongue down his neck, feeling the pulse throb in reaction. "Fuck, Kurt." His moan was soft and breathy.
We could, but not today. Today Finn was going to find out what a cocktease actually was. "Inside, right now. And pick me up."
He seemed surprised at that, probably because I was always telling him not to pick me up, but he did so without comment, allowing me to wrap my body around his. That had been a test, to see how Finn would respond to an order, and he had passed with flying colors. No questioning at all, he had just done it. This was going to be a great, great, day.
"Take me upstairs, right now. No stopping for a snack." I was kind of getting into this. I mean, it's not like I don't do it all the time, but no one really takes me seriously. I think it's because I'm so short and skinny, but I still have plenty of time for a growth spurt, right? Right.
Finn bounced me gently. "You're bossy today." His tone was unreadable, and I suddenly had second thoughts. At least until he pulled us face to face again and kissed me in a way that ought to be illegal. "I like it."
Yeah he did. He carried me up the stairs, and around the piles of crap on his bedroom floor. There we go, there was something I could use. "Finn, we've talked about you using a hamper. It isn't fair for Carole to be cleaning up after you like you're a toddler."
"We also talked about getting naked together, and that isn't happening." He started to unbutton my shirt, but I slapped his hand away. "No. I'm in charge right now, and you have to listen to me."
"Ok." He sounded a little tentative, but he trusted me. "What do I do?"
I pushed at his shoulders, knocking him back onto the bed. He took a deep breath. "Thisishot."
I was glad that he thought so, because I wasn't stopping now. "Are you going to do what I tell you to?"
"Yeah." His eyes were dark and dilated, watching me intently.
"Good boy. I'm going downstairs for a minute, and I expect you to be naked and laying just like that when I come back." Where was this suddenly sexy side of me coming from?
Maybe you've finally been listening to me. Or maybe not, I don't know, but I like it!
If the glazed over expression in his eyes was anything to go by, so did Finn. "Are you getting a snack? Because I'm starving."
Ah, yes, Finn and his stomach. "Are you really more concerned about eating then getting laid?" Then I rethought that. "On second thought, don't answer that. No more talking at all. You just get your ass naked, or face the consequences when I get back."
I didn't look back to see if he was complying, but the rustle of clothing was a pretty clear giveaway that he was. God, now I knew why they always said that power corrupted. If the state of my dick was any indication, it corrupted really quickly, too.
There were scarves in the car (along with shirts, pants, and other small accessories to make three or four complete outfits. The painful situation after Sectionals, where I had actually been forced to wear the same outfit twice in a row, taught me to always be prepared), and I snuck out and grabbed two of them. I probably could have found something in the house, but using Finn's belt seemed a little extreme and might freak him out. And, no matter how desperate I might be, I was not about to use anything belonging to Carole Hudson. The entire thought was just creepy.
Luckily, I found two scarves that were both strong enough to hold Finn if he started struggling, and old enough that it wouldn't matter if something happened to them. Then I took a steadying breath and raced back up the stairs. I could do this. I could channel my inner sexy vixen.
Finn apparently thought so, because he had obeyed my orders perfectly. He was also completely hard, and, for a second, I wondered if I should give up my plan and just suck him off.
No. I wasn't going to wimp out. I could be confident. I could be sexy. No, wait, I was sexy. After all, I was sleeping with the quarterback, wasn't I? Oh, yeah, yeah I was. I had already slipped the scarves into my back pocket, so they would be out of Finn's sight. With deliberate movements, I crawled up his body, kissing and licking as I went. He was so into trying to get my mouth with this, that I was able to take both of his wrists and guide them up over his head without much resistance from him. Once I had them up, though, he realized what was going to happen, and stiffened up.
I kissed him again, sliding the scarves out of my pocket to show him. "Is this alright?"
He didn't respond, just looked. I gave him a few minutes to process it, then tried again. "Finn? Can I?"
"Yeah." He nodded slowly, like he was convincing himself. "Ok."
I slid the first scarf around his wrist, taking care to tie it in a way that wouldn't slip or chafe his skin. Then I propped an extra pillow behind his back to keep his mucles from locking up. "Good boy, Finn."
He whined a little, and I could feel that his body had relaxed underneath me. He trusted me completely, and, even if he didn't entirely understand why I wanted to do this, he was willing to try. I kissed him again, grinning a little when he tried to reach out for me, only to be jerked up short by the scarves. "Fuck!" It came out a hissed whisper.
This was awesome. This meant that I could study Finn's body without having him doing distracting things like taking my pants off or putting his mouth on my dick. But I felt compelled to say one last thing. "If you say stop, I'll let you go, alright? "
"Uh-huh." I didn't think it was going to be nessacery, though. Finn had a dopey smile on his face, his body calm and relaxed against me. Except for one thing. There was nothing relaxed or calm about that particular body part.
I took advantage of that moment. "But you don't want me to stop, do you? You like it when I'm a little rough. It gets you hot."
Finn nodded enthusiastically. "God, yes."
"Not this time, Finn. This time, I'm God, got it?" Who was this slut who had possessed me? I was shocked with myself.
That slut, Kurt, is you. The nonrepressed version of you that wants to have sex with his boyfriend instead of just getting close to it. Now go get him, tiger!
Slut that I might be, I still wasn't quite ready to have sex with Finn. But that didn't matter right now, now did it? What mattered was that he trusted me completely, and, if I had wanted to, he would have let me, because he loved me that much. "What do you want me to do, Finn?"
"I…uh…." He couldn't seem to get a sentence out, and I would have thought he was afraid if his eyes weren't so soft and tender.
"You know what, I don't care what you want. This is about what I want, and you don't get a say." I rubbed my body against his, letting him feel how hard I was, and making him groan softly. "Right now, you're mine, and you'll do whatever I tell you to."
"Ok." Finn was getting into it now, and I knew this was going to work. "What do I do?"
"Right now? Just watch. If you're very, very, good, I might let you play." My voice grew steadier as my confidence rose. As soon as he nodded, I leaned back, still straddling his stomach, and started unbuttoning my shirt. Finn's breathing gre faster with every bit of skin that was revealed, and he started tugging against his restraints. For a second I worried, but both the scarves and the bed held. "Ah-ah, you can't touch."
"No fuck!" He was twisting now, but the one thing I had learned from scouts was how to tie a proper knot ( so useful when I started wearing scarves a few years later) and he couldn't get himself loose. "I mean it, Kurt, you're killing me!"
If he thought he was dying now, he wasn't going to know what to do with himself in a few minutes. I let my shirt drop to the floor, making mental note to bleach the hell out of it when I got home. I wouldn't be the slightest bit shocked to find out that there were new life forms colonizing and breeding on Finn's bedroom floor. "Should I take my pants off now?"
He nodded so hard that I almost heard his neck pop. "What will you do if I do that?"
"Anything." He was breathing hard now, and I wondered if it was possible for him to have a heart attack at 16.
"Would you suck me off?" Normally I would have blushed and stuttered at using such a crude term out loud, but this particular situation did not call for being coy. Actually, this particular sitation called for that extremely trampy pair of leather pants I was hiding in the back of my closet, but beggars cant be choosers.
"Uh-huh." He pulled again. "Let me go, and I'll suck it right now."
This was where my plan hit a snag. With Finn tied to the bed and having very little wiggle room, there was no way for me to positiong myself so he could blow me. Hmmmm…. "You'll do it when I say you can do it." There we go, back on track.
I trailed my hands down his sides, making sure to hit that ticklish spot at the top of his hipbones. He gave a breathy laugh at that, even as he tried to buck his hips up into my body. Nice try, Finn, but I had positioned myself so he couldn't get any friction. It wasn't a tease if I allowed him to get off so easily, now was it? I slapped his hip, the sound loud in the otherwise silent house. "Bad boy."
Was it my imagination, or did he get even harder from that? I filed that away for further contemplation, and kissed him again, nibbling at his lips. He rumbled appreciatively and kissed back, his tongue doing what his dick couldn't. I continued to rub his sides and inner thighs, getting close to, but never touching, his dick. He whined pitifully.
"Did you want something, Cowboy?" I made my voice as sweet as possible.
His jaw clenched. "You know exactly what I want."
"Oh! You want me to touch you, right?" I ran my fingers over his cock, smearing the precum and making him whimper and jerk his hips. "I can do that. But…." I trailed off, guessing that it wouldn't take long for him to get impatient and demand an answer.
"But what! I swear, I'll do anything."
Ah, the magic words. "But, you aren't allowed to come until I do. Now think, Finn, do you want me to touch you? Because I think you're kind of close already and I wouldn't want there to be any….accidents."
His hard breathing stilled, and for a minute I thought I had pushed things too far. Then he took a slow deep breath. "How am I supposed to get you off if I'm tied to the bed? Dude, that isn't fair!"
I smirked at him and lazily stroked my own cock, moaning to let him know how good this was. He stared, utterly transfixed. If I had ever doubted that I was sexually attractive, this moment would always be there to remind me that I was, in Finn's mind at least.
Careful there, buddy. If you don't ease up on doing that, you're going to be the one who ends up having some sort of embarrassing accident.
She had a point. My stomach was already trilling, and it would be completely humiliating if I came before Finn even touched me. So I stopped, just resting my hand on the base of my cock. "Well, Finn? What are you going to do with this thing?"
"Untie me and I'll show you what I want to do with that thing. I'll show you so hard that you won't be able to get up for a week!" He yanked again, but all he succeeded in doing was popping one shoulder.
I was starting to think that I was losing control of this situation. "I'll untie you. But if I catch you so much as trying to touch yourself, I'll tie that hand back up and leave you here to suffer blue balls all alone. Don't worry about me, though, because I'll make damn sure to jerk off before I leave."
Finn's jaw dropped open, his eyes totally dumbfounded. "You wouldn't."
"Oh, I would. But when I tell you to move, you're going to do it, aren't you? Because I can always leave…"
Of course I couldn't leave, but Finn didn't know that. He was nodding desperately. "Anything."
"Fine, but keep your hands on the headboard until I tell you you can move them." I undid the knot in the back of the headboard, since the knots on his hands had moved around to the back.
"Ok." He was so turned on that he was actually trembling, but he did exactly as I told him to, his hands perfectly still. I made him hold that position while I counted to thirty, my eyes sweeping over his body. Finn was gorgous when he was turned on, his skin flushed and his cock dripping onto his stomach. He looked wrecked already, and I had barely even touched him.
My own cock lurched, and I had to take a few seconds to remind my body to behave itself. I had always been very good at it, considering the number of times I had to force a hard on away watching Finn at football practice. Or at Glee practice. Or during Spanish class. Hey, I was sixteen and he was hot, so sue me!
Belatedly, I realized that Finn was still holding position, waiting for my command. "Ok, you can touch me now."
Finn didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed me and wrapped me up in his arms, pulling my body to his. "You are in big trouble now, Spider Monkey!"
If what I was feeling against my leg was any indication, the trouble was huge. "Yeah? Well what are you going to do about it?"
"What are your orders, master?" His voice was a mix of sarcastic and genuine curiousity.
Luckily, that didn't require much thought. "Do as you will. I'll tell you when you screw it up"
Then he strarted running his hands over my body, and somehow, I had forgotten that he knew my body as well as I knew his. He knew what I liked, where I was sensitive, and exactly how to get me off in the shortest possible amount of time. His thumbs ran over my nipples even as he was sucking on my neck. "Please Finn?"
He drew back, and there was a smirk on his face that I either wanted smack or kiss off, depending on the moment. Right now, I wanted to grab him and kiss him silly. Except suddenly my hands were the ones being held down, and Finn was doing something less then appropriate with his tongue, and I had to think very quickly of Rachel Berry's horrendous knee socks to keep this from being over way too quickly. The particularly bad plaid ones with-ok, that did it.
Unfortunatly, either I had given some outward signal of my condition (other then the obvious one, of course) or Finn had suddenly learned to read minds, because he smirked again. "Please Finn, what?"
I struggled to get my authority back, knowing that it was probably a losing battle. "I believe I already told you what to do, Finn, or were you not listening? If I can't even trust you to remember instructions from five minutes ago, how can I trust you to-oh shit!"
While I was bitching, Finn had been sliding his hands down my body until they were at my hips. His hands were absolutely enormous, and covered most of my body. Then he used his greater strength (and god, I never got tired of him doing this) to move my entire body up so he could wrap his lips around my cock. It wasn't just the blow job, though he was amazing at that,too, but the way he touched me that nearly brought tears to my eyes.
Most people wanted to treat me like I was as fragile as spun glass. I guessed it was inevitable, based on my tiny size and prissy demeanor. Even when I had played football, Coach Tanaka had been easier on me then the other guys, letting me out of running laps or allowing me to start practice a little later. A part of me had appreciated being less sweaty and not having to ram into that stupid piece of equiptment and try to knock it backwards, but it had just comfirmed to the rest of the team that there was something wrong with me, and that I couldn't pull my own weight.
Finn didn't do that. He was gentle, yes, but not because he thought he would break me. His gentleness was more because he thought I was precious, and he couldn't believe that he had been so lucky as to get me in the first place, so he needed to be extra careful with me now, before I realized what I was missing and found someone else. Which was ridiculous, because I had wanted Finn Hudson for as long as I could remember. But if he wanted to treat me like something to be worshiped, even when I was having a bad hair day and and was all bitchy, and had been forced into an ugly outfit for Glee, who was I to tell him different? That look, the one that told me he was shocked that he had gotten me at all, was the reason I hadn't pushed him to tell me that he loved me. Why should I demand his mouth say it when his eyes already did, and had been doing so for weeks?
Then Finn did something where my dick went all the way down his throat and I forgot not only that he loved me, but my own last name. This was…there were no words for what I was experiencing, the tightness of his throat, and the heat and they fact that I could barely feel his hands roaming over my ass as he tried to pull me even closer. I was so overwhelmed that my orgasm overtook me without any warning, shocking me in its intensity. Colors sharpened and faded, shapes distorted and what sounded like a freight train roared through my ears. My entire body turned inside out as Finn struggled to simultaneously swallow and breathe. Finally he snorted and managed to take a breath.
I, meanwhile, collapsed backwards onto the bed like…I couldn't even form a simile. But it was great, whatever it was. Finn flopped over next to me, breathing hard and nuzzling against my neck. He did that for a few seconds, while I tried to remember how to breathe. Then he couldn't stand it any more, and headbutted my shoulder. "Kurt, Kurt, please! Can I? Please?"
My brain was still foggy and my body lazy and I had no idea what Finn could possibly be talking about. I tried to force my eyes open and failed. "Can you what?"
"Can I come now? You said not to, but I'm dying!" His voice was a desperate whimper and it was enough to make my eyes come back open. Sure enough, he was still hard and leaking all over his comforter, which I would probably end up changing after all this because I didn't trust him to do it properly.
"Of course you can." I tried to make myself sit up so I could help him out, but my limbs had quit responding to me. Then an idea so wonderful I could barely believe I had just had it came into my mind. "Show me how you touch yourself."
"Huh?" He sounded confused, but, in his defense, he wasn't getting much blood flow to his brain right now.
"You heard me." My voice was returning to the commanding tone I had used earlier and Finn's eyelids fluttered halfway shut. "Show me exactly what you do when you imagine being with me."
His eyes were still huge, but Finn responded gamely, one hand sliding down his stomach. "Talk to me, Finn. What do you think about?"
"I, uh, think about you touching me. You doing that thing where you put your hands on my legs."
"Show me while you're telling me." My slutty side had woken back up, and, oh dear Prada, was I actually getting hard again? I gave my dick an evil glare, but it wasn't listening at all.
Luckily, Finn didn't see it, at least not yet. He stroked his fingers over his inner thighs, the same way that I always did before I actually touched his dick. Funny, I had never thought that he noticed. He moaned softly, then trailed the backs of his fingers over his hipbones, drawing them downwards to lightly stroke his cock. "Please?"
"Tell me more. What do you want to do with me? Would you like me to suck you off again?" I made my voice as seductive as possible. I kind of thought that I sounded like something out of a bad soft porn, but Finn clearly liked it. He whined softly and bucked against his hand.
"Yeah, but…" He stopped, biting back a moan. "I, uh-fuck!" His muscles were shuddering and I knew he was about to come.
With a speed that I wouldn't have thought myself capable of, I lunged forward and gripped his cock at the base, cutting his orgasm off. He yelped, half in pain and half in pleasure, but he didn't tell me to stop. I wrapped my free arm around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Then I whispered into his neck. "What do you want, Finn?"
"To have sex! I want you to fuck me!" The words were blurted out, and we both froze. My jaw dropped, and from the look on his face, Finn was just as shocked as I was.
Oh dear God. Check your pulse, Kurt, because I'm pretty sure you're a dead man. Also? Now might be the time to rethink your stance on there being no Heaven, because I think that you're already there.
"You do?" My voice had gone from seductive and trampy to sounding like a puppy's yip.
Finn, who was already flushed with arousal, turned even redder. "Uh, yeah?" Then he paled a bit. "Not right now! Please don't do it right now!"
"Of course not." My voice was soothing and he relaxed a little bit. "When you're ready, we can do it however you want." Inside, Galinda was all but dancing a jig. She was finally getting what her horny, slutty, self had been asking for for almost two months now. "But first, I think you've been a good enough boy to get a treat."
"Finally." The word came out scathing, but quickly turned into a series of broken moans and half formed words as I knocked his hand away and started pumping his dick.
I smirked at him. "What was that, Finnegan? Were you saying something sarcastic?"
"N-no." He could barely form the word. "Please?"
"Go." I kissed him again, feeling his hips jerk against me one last time as he came all over my hand and his own stomach. He mumbled against my mouth, but I couldn't understand him. It was alright, though, I was pretty sure that it was some permutation of 'I love you'. I rubbed his chest (taking care to wipe my hand off on his bedspread, of course. What can I say, the comforter was ugly. When I got the chance, I was doing something about the cowboy wallpaper, too.). "I love you, too."
His head dropped back against the pillow. "Holy…shit." The words were drug out and slurred. "That was….yeah."
I scooted up the bed, pulling the blanket up and over his body. "I know." I took his hands, which still had the scarves attached, and slipped them off. Both wrists were ringed with red marks, but, considering the amount of pulling and jerking he had been doing, it wasn't too bad. I kissed each wrist, then leaned up to kiss his lips again. He purred softly and allowed me to rest my head against his throat, right under his chin.
He kissed the top of my head. "Are you still God?"
It made me laugh a little. "No, I'm just Kurt again."
"Good. You just being Kurt is the very best thing you can be." He wrapped his arm across my back, squeezing me tightly. "I think that that's the longest I've ever lasted. Like, ever, dude."
"You weren't freaked out?" He hadn't seemed freaked out at all, but I had to actually hear him tell me that he was alright with it now, and not just in the heat of the moment. Because, and I'm not going to lie here, I really, really liked being in charge of Finn. It made me feel sexy and powerful, and I almost never felt either.
"Nah, it was awesome." He grinned a little and looked at the obviously filthy comforter. "It was really, really, awesome. Does that, like, make me kinky or some shit?"
"No, it means that you trust me. If you're comfortable, there's nothing wrong with it." I kissed his collarbone, which always made him shiver.
"Cool Because I'm still working a little on the whole 'gay' thing, so I don't want to have to deal with having a 'kinky' thing, too." He must have read my suddenly tense body, because he hurried to soothe me. "Not that I don't love you, or what we have together, but it's still kind of weird. You're not pissed or anything, are you?"
"Of course not." I kissed him again, then rolled over so we were face to face. "How many times do I have to tell you that I'll never be upset with you for being honest?"
In the interest of my own honesty, I had to admit that there was a tiny part of me that was pissed. It was the same part that kept telling me that I was just a distraction for Finn, and he only liked me because I put out. It was a part that I was good at shutting out, even better then I was at ignoring Galinda.
I heard that!
I knew that she had. It was a struggle, but I kept my face still. If Finn got even the slightest hint that I was upset, he would know why, and then he would be afraid to be honest with me in the future. Finn moved around so we were snuggling, sharing the same pillow. "Can we talk about what you said?"
He blushed redder then the scarves I was still holding. "Uh….about me wanting you to…you know."
"Let me fuck you? Because you seemed pretty sure about it a few minutes ago." I smiled to let him know I was teasing him, enjoying the way he blushed even brighter. "Is that really what you want?"
He sighed heavily. "I don't know. I mean, I think about it both ways, but I'm scared that if I'm on top that I'll hurt you, and it's better for me to get hurt then you get hurt. You know, I'm tougher."
"You screamed like a girl when I dumped ice down your back last week, then acted like you were freezing for two hours!" Finn might like to pretend he's all macho football player and the toughest guy on earth, but he's huge marshmallow inside.
"Well you almost barfed at our last family dinner because you saw a vein in your chicken breast. Seems pretty wimpy to me. Besides, I just wanted you to come cuddle and warm me up!"
I smacked him on the side of his head. "You thought that the vein was gross, too."
"Yeah, it was kind of nasty. But you turned green. You looked like Kermit, dude."
"First of all, if you ever want any part of my body near any part of yours again, you'll retract that statement. I do not look like a dopey green frog with a plain, ugly, black tie. And if I were, do you know what that would make you? Ms. Piggy. Would you like to be my piggy in drag?"
His eyes widened. "Ms. Piggy was in drag? She was really a Mr. Piggy?"
Ah, yes, this was Finn, who tended to be a very literal thinker. "Never mind about that. The point is, I'm way hotter then Kermit, and I dress better." Why was I even having this debate with him?
Because you love him. Because there is a part of you that has always wanted this chance to lay next to your boyfriend and argue about all the silly things in the world.
Oh, yeah. Luckily, Finn seemed to be as into it as I was. "Of course you are. I mean, Dude, there's no contest. He's got those floppy arms and legs and those nasty bulging eyes and he does that weird flailing thing when he gets excited. But, you know, he is naked other then that tie."
I had to laugh. "I'm naked right now, too."
"And you look way better then Kermit. What were we talking about again?" He was starting to get sleepy, and I shook him gently. Not only did I need him awake for this discussion, but if he crashed, I would, and I did not want Carole walking in on this.
"We were talking about you and I finally having sex and who would be on bottom. You doing it once doesn't mean you have to do it every time, so you don't have to feel like that. It doesn't make you less of a man, or mean that there's something wrong with you." I kept my voice soothing, like I was attempting to comfort a frightened animal.
"Ok." It was a whisper and he wasn't meeting my eyes, but it was a clear sign of his preferences. "You can be on top the first time. That's what you want, right?"
I was surprised to find that it was. "Not if it makes you uncomfortable." I had to make sure I was giving him every possible opportunity to back out.
"No, I think I like it." He gave me that embarrassed half grin that he was so good at. "But anyway, if you're going to be on bottom the next time, it doesn't matter anyway. It will be like having two first times instead of one."
His simple, matter of fact, tone made me smile. "Have I told you that I love you lately?"
"Have I told you, there's no one else above you? You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness. You ease my troubles, that's what you do." Finn's voice was soft as he sang the old song.
"Finn, I want you to do me a favor. Don't ever, ever change, not even the slightest bit." If he could hang on to that sweet, easy, nature, he would have no trouble making it in this world. Maybe his dreams weren't as big as mine, but that could be a good thing. After all, if Finn was as driven as I was, we would probably end up killing each other over some minor Broadway part.
No, it was better that we have different dreams. Except I guessed I didn't know what Finn's dreams might be. "Finn?" I waited until his eyes were on me before continueing. ""What is it that you want out of life?"
He smiled. "To have sex with you, Precious."
"I mean after that."
"To have sex with you again." He rolled over onto his back. "And again after that."
Finn was deliberately being an idiot. He's brighter then he gets credit for, but most of the time he finds it easier to play dumb until you leave him alone. "I mean when we're adults. And yes, sex then, too, but what sort of job?"
His head lolled back as he thought. "I don't know. I kind of thought maybe…" He trailed off and shrugged.
"Maybe what?" This was important. It was the first time Finn and I had really talked about anything long term. We had just been assuming that things would fall into place, but it was going to take work. Finn shrugged, still staring at the ceiling, so I gave him a quick nudge. "Come on, you can tell me."
"Maybe be a teacher?" His voice was really soft, and he had that look that suggested he thought I was about to start teasing him. "Not like a high school teacher, because I'm not that smart, but kindergarten or first grade. I'm really good with kids."
Actually, I could see that working out well for Finn. He was so enthusiastic about everything he did, and more then willing to sacrifice his dignity to have fun and help someone out. "I think you would be a great teacher."
He brightened. "You don't think that it's stupid? Or pedestrian? Rach said it was a pedestrian idea, but I thought a pedestrian was someone who was walking and not in a car. You know, like the mail guy I hit was a pedestrian and I was a driver."
Oh no that bitch didn't! Galinda was fiercely protective of our boyfriend.
"You're right, but pedestrian can also mean ordinary. And, no, I don't think that it's a stupid idea. I think that if you want to be a teacher, you'd be great at it. You're patient, and kind and creative."
"That's a really dumb way to say ordinary." His brow furrowed and I kissed him again. "Is it that bad to want something ordinary? I mean, I know you and Rach want to go to New York and be famous and all that, but that's not what I want. First of all, I'm not that good, and second, I don't have enough, uh, you know, passion."
He had put more thought into it then I would have given him credit for. When he had indicated that he thought his dream was stupid, I would have guessed that he wanted to play pro football or something. Being a teacher was a good job, and something that was within his reach. "I think that you have plenty of passion, and I would much rather it be directed towards me then memorizing every song ever sung on Broadway. As far as your actual question, it's not bad to want an ordinary job, as long as it makes you happy."
"Yeah, I guess so. But there's plenty of colleges in New York, so we can still be together while you're on Broadway or designing clothes or whatever it is that you end up picking."
The thought of Finn planning a future for both of us caused a quick pang somewhere in my chest. "Really?"
"Well, yeah. Do you really think that your Dad is going to let you just go off to New York all by yourself? When there's both of us looking out for each other, our parents will have to say yes. Then it can be like this all the time, without us having to hide what we're doing from anyone."
"Stupid Rachel. She still has no idea what she gave up with you, does she?"
"I don't think so. But as long as know all those good things about me, it's alright." He looked over my head at the clock. "Mom's going to get home soon, so we better get dressed." He heaved a long suffering sigh. "Sucks, I know."
It did suck, but there wasn't much that could be done about it. If Carole came home and Finn and I were not fully dressed and doing our homework, I risked being banned from the Hudson house forever. "It's alright. Pull out your English and we'll see what we can do."
He grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like a 'I stand up for him and this is how he treats me?', but I chose to ignore it in favor of watching Finn bend over to pick his boxer shorts up off the floor. Oh, yeah, that ass was going to be mine very shortly.
So, Kurt, you do realize what this means, don't you?
I searched my brain, but couldn't come up with anything. So I raised a mental eyebrow while expertly knotting my scarf.
You're going to have to tell Mercedes that she was right, that Finn is a bottom all the way.
Crap, she was right. But looking at Finn as he did up his jeans and slipped his shirt back on, I suddenly couldn't quite bring myself to care.