Authors' Foreword
Well, we're back with more, after a delay due to Otakon and RL bitin' Neo on the rear end. Anyway, now we get to see just how Eddie's gonna handle the whole situation from his end, and just how Drew and Shego will react to his presence.
This could end badly...
ELELELEL
Eddie stomped firmly into the living room, only pausing when he realized that both of them were sitting on the couch without a stitch of clothing on. Green Babe was leaning back against the couch's arm, while Drew's chin rested on her belly, just below her outrageously perfect bust. Eddie couldn't help but follow the taut lines of her legs down to the equally, in his opinion, tight lines of Drew's rear end.
Unfortunately, the few moments of seriously appreciative staring ruined his hope to take Sheegs by surprise. Both of them were looking at him, and Drew managed a startled, "Eddie?" before all hell broke loose.
"You no good-" Shego growled, her eyes wide and angry as she folded, twisted and slinked out from under Drew without upsetting his position in the least. Shego's moves once again short circuited Eddie's mind with the practically fourth-dimensional movements, further degrading his advantages. "Dirty, no account-" she continued, making Eddie step back involuntarily, despite the armor. It was a surprising feat, since she had yet to light up her hands, though there was a hint of her green magic around her flashing eyes, "Lying sonuvabitch!"
"Lying?" Eddie managed before she flared up and blasted him square in the chest. Didn't know she could do that! Eddie gasped, realizing that he'd expected just energetic plasma blasts, not mostly kinetic blasts.
"Um, guys?" Drew objected to the nearly immediate violence, getting up to likely try to get between the two of them. He stopped, looking down as he apparently remembered he was naked, and ducking a little behind the couch. Nervously, he said, "Shouldn't w-..."
"Don't play coy with me, boy!" Sheegs hollered, ignoring Drew's objection in her rage at the mulleted man staring up at her from his back. "Even at my worst I never broke a promise I made. And here you are, doing just that? You must have a real set on you…" A violent grin came to her face as she snarled, "I guess I'll find out when I rip 'em off!"
With a cry of rage, she jumped into the air, tossing a blast to either side of his head so he couldn't roll out of the way. To his shock, her foot was enshrouded with her magic, which came down on his chest with more strength than even he had in his body!
"Ouch, seriously, Green Babe!" Eddie cried as the wind was knocked out of him, but his work held firm, absorbing most of the blow — a blow that should have hospitalized him — and redirecting the almost pure, energetic plasma about his suit. Using that, shoved himself off of the ground, managing to deliver a kick to her gut that sent her flying back into the living room and over Drew's head.
"What are you doing, Ed?" Drew asked as Eddie followed Green, the question and Drew's presence stalling the motorhead where he stood.
"Wh-what I should've done at the wedding," Eddie said in a low, embarrassed tone as he looked over at his cousin, "Seriously, Cuz, I..." He trailed off, not even sure about what he wanted to say. His chest felt weird, and he wanted to say… Something. He wasn't sure what, though. Thinking he might just manage to say it through rambling, he continued, "I-.."
He was interrupted by a flying kick to his face, her foot once again glowing from her power. Her foot stopped glowing an instant before she landed, but this time Eddie was ready with a counter. He dashed forward and shoulder checked her, driving her back several paces.
"Maybe if I'd've said somethin'..." He paused, shaking his head enough that his mullet briefly obstructed his vision, so he didn't see Shego standing. "I mean, maybe you could still file for divorce, or somethin', but I-..."
Shego cut his words off with action, giving him a solid, non-powered punch that was almost as powerful as her earlier kick. Eddie had expected to hear a loud roar of defiance following up the punch, but he didn't. She was completely silent. No snark, no sarcasm, nothin'. She wasn't even breathing, not hard enough for Eddie to hear at least, as she stalked over towards him. She didn't even comment as she moved in to continue the fight; she just lit her hands as she walked around Drew, stepping just out of range as he reached for her and said in a halting voice, "Now, Shego..."
"Dude, seriously," Eddie objected as he rubbed his jaw, "I don't remember makin' any promises 'bout Drew! Not that that seriously matters all that much. You probably had a knife to my throat or somethin'!" He managed to dodge a rapid fire series of slashing strikes by scrabbling away on his backside, before bumping into a wall and holding his hands up, "Seriously, d'ya think I'd just give up Drew when I totally want him more than you do? Enough to take him from you?"
"What?" Sheegs hissed, "You callin' me a liar? ME?!" Her face was livid, and neither of them could hear Drew over the sound of her suddenly amped up plasma that popped and hissed like a bonfire. "You promised me you'd back off the night before last when we talked at Lemonbug's, you mulleted moron!"
"Huh?" both Drew and Eddie muttered at the same time. Eddie opened his mouth to answer, but Shego rolled over both of them, drowning out the mane man's reply.
"As to 'wanting' Drew more than me?" Green Babe snickered darkly, "There's exactly four people since the comet that've earned a place in this black husk I call a heart; one's dead, two of 'em are like family and the others behind me… And, you neanderthal, I don't just 'want' him; I love Dr D! Sure as hell more than you ever could!"
The 'L' word seriously caught Eddie off-guard. Was that what seriously applied here? Like, he was too manly for that sort of squishy emotion thing, right?
...right?
"Shego, calm dow-..." Drew said nervously with a not-so-slight edge of irritation, but Eddie jumped up, trying to give Shego a sucker punch in return when the thief half turned towards Drew.
It didn't work.
She dodged without even looking at him, then, switched her plasma from the almost out-of-control emissions from her hands to small points just around her fingernails, and sheared the bolts holding Eddie's armored helmet to the frame.
"Gotcha!" Green declared as she climbed up the back to kneel on one shoulder, her other foot braced against the other shoulder.
"Uh, oh..." Eddie gasped as he felt the length of his mullet being grabbed in a tight fist. "Dude, Mean Green, not the hair, please!"
"When I'm done with you," Shego snarled, lighting up her plasma, and nearly all of the rear length of Eddie's mullet, "You'll wish I'd've stopped with your hair!"
"Both of you knock it OFF!" Drew bellowed in a voice that the motorman had never heard from him before. Eddie suddenly found himself face to face with an even more enraged Shego. He also found he couldn't move, the reason being the same as the source of her rage: vines that held Shego in front of him were also around his body, holding his totally gnarly and seriously strong powered armor as if it were a statue.
Even so, he was shocked to see Shego not only starting to pull loose from the vines, her powers were making them smoke on both her arms and legs. Drew quickly rectified that by moving his vines to just above and below both her elbows and knees. The position she ended up in was slightly reclined, with her arms held up and away from her body, and her legs bent up and out from her body, about chest height. The only reason Eddie didn't see all of her lower glory was the vines wrapped about her hips and upper legs that were barely holding her still.
I didn't know she was that strong! Eddie gulped with the thought, realizing that made her stronger than him even with the armor.
"Drew..." Shego scowled, twisting her head as much as she could so she could catch the blue scientist in a baleful glare, "Let me go, or so help me, you're gonna be regrowing vines for a week!"
"No," Drew said firmly, pausing as if waiting for Shego to object. When she raised an eyebrow almost curiously, he continued, "At least, not unless you promise not to attack Eddie!"
"This idiot cousin of yours is here to kidnap you, Drew!" she growled at him, and was about to continue when his vines started wriggling. The look of surprise on her face was replaced by one that was both frustrated and fighting amusement. Eddie glanced down to where he saw the movement, seeing some of them moving sinuously about her tight tummy. It was making her smile and titter against her will as the vines tickled her. Green Babe looked at him fiercely and said, "This isn't gonna make me-..!"
Her words failed her as some of the vines moved lower to a more sensitive part of her anatomy. Eddie was pretty shocked that Drew would do that before he remembered the night a few days ago, and what Drew had done to and with him. He nearly lost himself in his thoughts until Green Babe started to grunt and moan in turn, before finally answering him. "Nngh... Fine, Drew, I promise..."
Drew loosened his vines on her a little bit, but they tightened when she added, "But only if he doesn't do anything stupid, first!"
Both of them looked towards the motorman expectantly. Though he felt put on the spot, he also realized there was really only one answer he could give.
"Fine, I won't," Eddie said just as Drew was opening his mouth to ask. He was blushing at being so easily handled by his cousin, of all people... And more than a little bit turned on by not only being taken down like a noob by him, but also at Drew's appearance. Standing, staring both him and Sheegs down with no apparent fear, nude and not caring in the slightest at the moment… It was seriously hot! The only thing that bothered him was that it wasn't something that his cousin was doing just for him.
"Good," Drew murmured with some finality, dropping his vines from both of them. They quickly retracted, save for the vine that Shego actually held close to her midsection. She was stroking it almost as if she were stroking Drew's arm, something that piqued Eddie's curiosity on how sensitive the vines really were.
Drew quickly sidled over to her, though he kept a concerned, even worried gaze leveled at Eddie. He wrapped his arms around her midsection above the vine, and Shego quickly moved her hand to his arm, glaring daggers at the motorhead. Though he felt a spike of jealousy, Eddie recognized that Drew's actions were more to keep her from doing anything rash. Finally unable to take any more, Shego snapped, "You have two minutes to explain yourself before you're out on your ass, Drew's cousin or not! Start with why you broke a promise to me, of all people!"
Drew opened his mouth to speak, then snapped it closed, raising a curious eyebrow at Eddie. With a sigh, Eddie shook his head, his eyes boring imploringly into Drew's and Shego's in turn, "Dude, Green Babe, seriously, I don't remember ever makin' a promise like that to you! I mean, I wouldn't ever break a promise. Mama L an' Ma made sure of that, seriously! They harsh on that way much, you can ask Drew!" He started a little as he remembered something that Green had said earlier. "What'd you mean by Lemonbug's, anyway? I haven't been to one in years, seriously!"
"You lying sack o-..." Shego started, but a cough from behind her stopped her for a moment. She briefly turned her angry eyes upon Drew, who gulped and shrugged.
"I'd kind of like to know too… About the whole Lemonbug thing." Drew paused a moment, then daringly added, "Sweetie."
Despite the rage still flowing off of Green Babe in waves, she managed an odd, half-angry snort, half girlish giggle, before turning back to Eddie. "Night before last night, Drew. At Lemonbug's, I took Eddie there to talk. And that's all. Just an honest-to-whatever entity you wanna claim talk!"
"Um," Eddie narrowed his eyes and looked up, picking through the little shreds of memory he had. Haltingly, he said, "I remember goin' there, now that I'm thinkin' 'bout it… And we kinda started talkin'. I... Remember tellin' ya 'bout Red, but..." Eddie's face was a study of confusion, and looked about to continue when Shego beat him to it.
"He told me everything he was feeling," Eddie managed, somehow, to look sheepish and confused without moving, "what he planned," that made the no-longer-mulleted man wince, "and I got him to promise not to kidnap you and back off for a bit!" Shego snorted at Eddie's confused face, "You seriously expect me to believe you don't remember anything after your second friggin' drink?"
"Which you drugged!" Eddie snapped at her, his eyes narrowing accusingly. "I don't know what you did with them, but there was somethin' totally wrong with those things you ordered."
"Long Island iced tea, Eddie." Shego sighed, "The same things you gave Drew at the strip club? I thought you could handle your liquor!"
"Erm..." Eddie flushed as he realized he'd completely misrepresented her before. But, at the same time, she'd said... He frowned at her, "You said it was just tea."
"You never specified non-alcoholic, Eddie," Shego snickered, then stiffened, before bawling out a horrible laugh as Drew's vine began wiggling back and forth. "Dam-m-mit, Drew, s-stop or I-I-I'll light up, I s-s-swear!"
"You tricked him, Shego..." Drew said firmly, though his vine did stop. Shego turned in place and glared up at him, though Eddie couldn't help but smile at the subtle pout in her expression. The blue man turned to him, an almost smug smile on his face as he continued, "And you should know as well as I do that when he gets that drunk, he doesn't remember anything. He may act like a tough alcoholic, but when push comes to shove and he's about as ready for it as I am..."
"Awww, man, really, Drew?" Eddie protested, drawing attention back to him, "Don't harsh my mellow, man! Seriously!"
"It's the truth, Eddie," Drew admonished, before addressing Shego. "And why didn't you bring this to my attention, Shego? It would've been good to know that my cousin was aiming to kidnap me!"
"Because," Shego muttered, once again glaring at Eddie, "he wants you all to himself, and I'm just a bit possessive to what's mine." She turned back to him, a familiar smirk on her face, "If you haven't noticed?"
"Really? Color me surprised," Drew managed to say with a straight face. He seemed to ponder something for a moment, then cocked his head. "So you're saying if he'd have asked for occasional... Playtime? Funtime? Nngh, whatever? With me…?"
"Oh, now that..." Shego said with a similarly considering look crossing her face. Eddie gulped, something about the gleam in her eyes reminding him of both Drew the other night, and of Red so many years ago. "That, Love, is something completely different..."
"Huh?" Eddie mumbled, his brain shutting down a little as he tried to understand what she was getting at.
"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie..." Shego said while shaking her head, slipping out of Drew's loose grasp, before sauntering up to the tall mechanic. Eddie gulped and took several steps backwards until he hit the wall next to the doorway into the kitchen. He almost flinched away when she raised a hand to his face. "I, Eddie, am actually rather... Kinky. And while I don't go in for the whole whips 'n' chains bit..."
"Drew?" Eddie whispered, looking at his cousin with worried eyes, "Your woman's freakin' me out, man..."
"Oh please. She isn't even threatening you with a flame wedgie anymore! And here you were supposedly going to beat her and drag me off. Put on your big boy pants and just listen!" Drew called out, obviously intrigued at what was happening. "Do go on, Shego..."
"Thanks, Love." Shego snickered at the grimace Eddie made at the nickname, then turned back to him. She studied his nervous countenance for a moment before smirking, "Anyway, my kinks are more... Mental. Emotional." She quirked her lips, then shrugged. "And as long as it isn't something sick like kids or animals? Societal as well."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Eddie blurted, drawing a sad shake of the head from Shego.
"The thought of my Drew topping and buggering his big, badass biker of a cousin?" Eddie winced at the totally harsh and blunt terminology. "Turns me on, to be frank! And, thanks to you, he's not as goddamn wishy-washy in the sack…" His little cousin began to both preen and blush furiously, though Eddie knew exactly what Sheegs was referring to, what with Drew's seriously awesome posing earlier. "So I kinda owe ya, at least a little bit."
"So..." Eddie shook his head and raised his hands, palms up, and shrugged, "What?"
"So, I'd be willing to let my husband play with you..." Before he could speak and accept her comment, she reached out with both hands to unsnap the shoulder releases of his armor before stepping back quickly, making it fall apart like a clamshell. When it was off of his shorts and tank top clad body, Shego paused, glancing up and down his body. She pursed her lips for a moment as she noticed the bulge in his pants, one that even he hadn't noticed and immediately tried to cover with his hands, then shrugged with a wicked smirk, "And, maybe, if you calm some of your attitude, I might play with you too..."
Eddie's eyes rounded in shock, and she stepped back and reached up to grasp his chin firmly in her hands, "But only when I want to and when I say he can play with you, and only if you calm that neanderthal-minded, stuck up, womanizing, misogynistic crap in that thick head of yours, capisce?"
"Oh, c'mon, Green Babe!" the motorman protested, bringing his arms akimbo, his fists tight on his hips, "Don't do the Mane Man like that! Seriously!"
"Hard to call you the 'Mane Man' now..." Shego snorted, making Eddie squeak in shock. He reached up and realized that his hair was very closely shorn, and bubbled up at the ends from her earlier actions.
"You'd look better bald, anyway," Shego chirped, and Eddie's face fell when he realized Drew was nodding in agreement.
"No way!" Eddie objected, only to whimper when Shego's fingers tightened on his chin.
"Eddie," Shego growled, making him wince as she emphasized each point with a squeeze of her fingers, "Your mullet... Went out of style... Over a decade ago! Plus... I like some guys bald..."
"Buph Dwew iffn't bawd!" Eddie mumbled incoherently. Shego released the pressure she had on his chin and he breathed a sigh of relief, working his jaw before restating his words, "But Drew isn't bald!"
"Because I look weird bald," Drew admitted easily, drawing an agreeing snicker from Shego. There was clearly a story there, one that Eddie had to admit that he really, really wanted to hear. Maybe later they would tell him. Later... he thought to his small pleasure. He was brought back to the reality when his cousin continued, "But... Eddie... Okay, I liked what we did, and since Shego's okay with it, I'd like to, erm... Continue. But, honestly? She's right. Think about how Mother would react if she heard you talking about women like you do, not to mention your plan to steal me away."
"I'd rather not," Eddie admitted, glancing around as if worried the devil of a woman would totally show her face. "But... Um... I'm like... It's how I was raised, y'know? You know my ma, Drew..."
"Yes, yes I do," the blue man said with some disgust.
"Wait…" Sheegs looked between the two of them, eyebrow shooting toward her hairline. "Your ma… That crusty old geezer that nearly wrecked the wedding? The one that would've looked trashy back in the 80s?"
"Yeah, that's my ma…" the formerly mulleted man said, blushing lightly at the memory.
"Regardless… Would you do it for me, Eddie?" Drew asked after giving Shego a questioning glance.
"Well..." Eddie looked down at the floor of the lair, his hands sliding behind his back like a scolded child. He kicked at some imagined rock with his foot before looking up at Drew with a petulant pout on his face, "I guess. I mean, I can try, but it might take a while."
"Tell ya what," Shego cut in, "If you're honestly trying, then we'll consider this a... Thing. Between the three of us."
Eddie's eyes flew wide. He hadn't believed, until that moment, that Shego was serious. But he'd seen it in her eyes. She seriously would! He changed his stance immediately, his hand grasping an imaginary guitar's neck.
"And no more of that air guitar!" Shego snapped, drawing a reluctant but agreeing nod from Drew, "It's annoying!"
"Awww, c'mon!" Eddie groused, then brought his other hand up as if he were holding a pick, "Just one!"
"...fine. Go ahead with this one. BUT only this one! Do it again and I won't hesitate to make sure you can't do it again!" Shego warned him, a plasma wreathed hand held up to emphasize her point.
"Yeah, right," Eddie chuckled, deciding to call her bluff. After all, air guitaring is seriously important! "You won't be around me 24/7, Green. Can't watch me forever! How'll you stop me? Not like you got an army!" With that he belted out a loud and complex start to a drawn out air guitar...
Only to find himself flying in a tumble that ended up with the air driven from his lungs as he landed on Shego's knee. He felt himself being held down by an arm at least as strong as his, his shorts being yanked down and saw a green hued hand raising out of the corner of his eye. "Ready, Eddie?"
"Drew!" Eddie barked, "C'mon, man, stop your crazy wif-..." There was a whipcrack sound, and then he felt something like the old switch his mother used on him when he was younger coming down on his rear. It was quickly followed by several more, leaving him red faced and on the verge of tears.
"Eddie, calm down, and we'll let you up," Drew commented in a tone that mixed indifference and firm command. Much like the tone of voice his cousin had used a few days previous...
"Okay, okay!" Eddie cried worriedly, realizing they were both serious. "I give, I give, I'll be good!"
"We'll see, Eddie..." Shego chortled, letting him stand and pull his shorts up, "We'll see..."
Authors' Notes
Hmmm... That was interesting, non? Heh, poor Eddie, jumping in with both feet and getting it on both cheeks! Of course, once Shego got rollin', there wasn't much chance the Mullet Man... Well, Not-So-Mullet-Man, could do, was there? At least Drew stepped in, and allowed Shego's own proclivities to run rampant...
Now just how long can they keep this going, hmmm?