I took a deep breath as I walked up the stairs to the boarding house. This was the day I was going to tell him; I didn't want my fear for these feelings to take over my life anymore.

I paused at the door, my hand lingering over the old-fashioned knocker. I can do this, I know I can. I continued to stare at the door with my hand hovering over the knocker for some time.

I let my hand fall back to my side and I took two steps back. What was I doing? A moment of selfishness could ruin everything. If never knowing how I truly feel would keep them safe then so be it.

I turned to walk down the steps and back to my car. I felt like such a coward.

"You know, we heard you standing out here the whole time."

My whole body went rigid at the sound of his voice. How could just the sound of his voice make me want to turn around and run into that house and tell his brother the truth? The mere sound of his voice makes me want to curl up and die just because of how I feel. The simple sound of his voice makes me want to leap into his arms and stay there forever.

"Elena? Did you need something?"

His voice laced with concern was my undoing. I turned around and said, "Yes, I came to talk to Stefan."

His face fell for just a fleeting moment, and for that moment my heart broke into tiny pieces. This is why I was going to tell Stefan how I felt. Because if just one ounce of pain Damon felt could cause me more pain than dying, then I could endure several minutes of an awkward conversation with Stefan.

"OK, well come on then." He said as he turned around and started walking towards the door. I heaved out a heavy sigh and followed him after him.

I stepped over the threshold and was greeted by a smiling Stefan. His emerald eyes sparkled as he looked at me and once again I could feel my heart being torn apart. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Damon look between us and I knew he sensed a change in our relationship.

"I'm going to leave you two alone for a while." Damon said as he walked up the stairs. My eyes followed his retreating form and I wanted nothing more than to follow him.

"Elena?"

I snapped out of my revere when Stefan spoke. I instantly turned to him and he smiled.

"You wanted to talk to me? I heard you and Damon talking outside. So what did you want to talk about?"

He ushered me into the parlor and took a seat on the couch. I awkwardly stood there a few seconds before he patted the seat next to him. I sat down and angled my body so that I was facing him. He politely waited for me to speak but I remained silent. Soon he face began to fall; a little crease formed in-between his eyebrows as he silently urged me to begin.

"I, uh, yes I wanted to talk to you. About our relationship." I quickly casted my eyes down so he wouldn't see exactly how much this was hurting me. No need for him to feel my pain too.

"Our relationship? Elena, are you saying that you want to give us another chance?"

"No, I-"

"Because that would be amazing. I know I have done some horrible things to you and I know that you can't trust me the way you used to but I promise that will change."

"No, Stefan, I-"

"Elena, this means the world to me. I love you so much and I would do anything to fix what I have done to us."

"Stefan!" I finally looked up at him.

He stopped and looked at me, waiting to hear what I have to say. The light in his eyes made this so much more painful.

"You can say whatever you have to say to me Elena. I am here to listen to you." He offered me a gentle smile.

"I love you Stefan," I began. "I love you so much-"

"Oh Elena, I love you too."

"You're not listening to me Stefan. I love you but I am not in love with you. You did hurt me; you lost my trust, and I don't know if it will ever be as it was before."

The light that was in his eyes a moment ago was now completely gone. His smile fell to a grim line.

"Stefan, I will always be here for you, but I know now that I have been lying to you for a while. I have been lying to everyone for a while, even myself. You're not the one that I love, and I am more sorry than you will ever know."

He remained silent for what seemed like forever. I felt like saying something to break the awkward silence, but as I opened my mouth to say something he shook his head.

He remained silent a while longer before he said, "Not the one you're in love with? Then who are you in love with Elena?"

He didn't ask harshly but he may as well have. His words sliced through me as if I were butter. I didn't know how to respond. How do you tell the man that saved your life multiple times that you're in love with his brother?

His eyes bored into mine pleading for an answer that he didn't really want. The way he slightly leaned towards me as if to beg me to tell him it isn't true.

"Elena, tell me, who are you in love with?"

"Stefan, please." I whispered.

"ELENA! WHO ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH?"

I cringed back into the sofa. He wasn't usually so harsh with me. "Stefan, I-"

"Damn it Elena! Just-just tell me."

"Damon! I-I'm in love with Damon."

I could see his world shatter. One moment he's holding on to what little hope there was that what I was saying wasn't true, the next he looked like he wanted to curl up and die.

He stood up without saying anything, slowly pacing away from me. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. My whole body was screaming at me to just leave; leave and not look back. But my heart, my heart was yelling at me to talk it through.

"Damon?"

I looked up at him. He was standing by the cart with Damon's liquor. His eyes were blazing. The last time I saw him like this was when Klaus had compelled him to "turn it off". This look truly scared me.

"What?" I asked.

"You're in love with Damon? Out of all the people Elena, Damon? He's not good enough for you. He's a killer, Elena. A cold blooded killer. He just wants you because you look like Katherine. It has always been Katherine for him. He'll have his way with you and then throw you away when he's gotten his fill."

"Stop. I don't want to hear anymore. Damon is my choice and you don't like that because for the first time in your life someone doesn't want you." I stood up from the couch and walked over to the door.

"You know what Elena? You are just like Katherine, nothing but a whore." He spat.

Tears were flowing freely down my cheeks now.

"Do you know that all of your friends will turn their backs on you? You will be left with no one because of your decision."

"That is enough Stefan."

I turned around to see Damon standing under the arch of the Parlor. He glanced once at me and then his eyes returned to Stefan. I took this opportunity to run passed him and out the door.

It was raining and I could smell the clean scent of the water on the asphalt. I felt the sharp sting of the little drops of rain hitting my face as I ran to my car. I quickly opened the door and got in. I took a second to look back at the house before I sped away.

What had I done?