I was expecting crickets after the super sad turn I took in this one, and instead y'all have stuck with me. Thank you for all the reviews! They overwhelm me. To my regulars, I appreciate all the feedback and support. To all my no account friends - Guests, Natalie, Aryal, & Joy - thanks for staying for the ride. Hope you enjoy this one!

"Javi, you want pizza or spaghetti tonight?" asked Erin hoping the boy would say pizza and it would mean a phone call could whip up dinner.

"Spaghetti, please," he said, huge grin on his face. Those long eyelashes, big brown eyes, and olive skin… yeah, he was gonna be a lady killer someday. She figured she wouldn't be the first woman who couldn't say no to the kid.

Erin pulled out a couple of pots to get sauce and pasta going, marveling at how well adjusted the little boy was. And polite. Hell, she was still working on half of IU to say please and thank you without an F word thrown in. Half the boys she worked with chewed with their mouths open. Erin thought back to her childhood, mirroring Javi's. She'd gone the rebellious route to survive.

But this kid. Javier, was such an anomaly. He was living in filth, some of the worst conditions she'd seen, yet he seemed so unaffected. His manners and easy smile had to have come from some loving parents, a sense of belonging… but they didn't.

The one night she'd ramrodded Kelly into agreeing to had worked its way into three nights. This being the last one. She was surprisingly sad about it. This seven-year-old had been the best company she'd experienced in over a month.

"Who's getting me tomorrow?" asked Javi for the third time. The kid was sharp, so she knew he hadn't forgotten. She had a feeling he was fishing.

"A nice couple who want to be your foster parents, remember?"

"You and your husband are a nice couple," he commented, already helping to set the table.

Does he even know Kelly's name? Her nice husband hadn't said three words to the boy who was living in their house.

"We're at work all the time, Javi," reminded Erin.

"It's okay. Can take care of myself," Javier countered.

"I know you can, but this is a couple who've been waiting a long time for a child, a child just like you."

The boy looked doubtful but didn't say anything else. He ate his food in silence, his custom, almost always putting up a hand as if someone was going to snatch his meal away. Yes, he gave the appearance of a normal little guy, but there were some cracks that showed life hadn't been the idyllic story from some fairy tale he probably hadn't even heard of.

That made Erin like the kid even more.

With the welcome distraction of the little boy gone, Erin had to face her own demons. At the moment her husband made the top of the list. What the hell was poking around in that Severide skull? Erin knew her husband was now relegated to a part time roommate. He was living a few nights a week at his place and crashing half the time with Shay. The text saying he wouldn't be home brought a relief to Erin, and she knew that was so wrong. But she didn't think she could handle the looks he gave their little houseguest as if it was some huge imposition. Erin and her little buddy could enjoy the last night of their slumber party, he'd go live a happily ever after with a new family, and she vowed to try to get back her happily ever after. They were going to talk even if it killed her, and she thought it just might. A come to Jesus meeting with a blonde savior she worked with and another who worked with her husband got her back on track.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but Kelly is really suffering," Shay was on the offensive almost immediately, judgy eyes planted firmly on the brunette detective.

"Everyone is really suffering," chimed in Cally, giving Shay a shut your trap look. "It is time for you to put on your big girl panties and decide if you want to save this thing or not."

It was the verbal slap in the face Erin needed. If everyone around her could see them sinking into an abyss of no return, then it was time for her to realize it.

"You both are right," Erin agreed.

Well, that was unexpected, thought both blondes. Shay choked on air and Cailin had to mentally think to make her mouth clamp shut, ready to go with a battery of other arguments she had planned out. Both women shocked at how easy that was.

"Well, okay," Leslie finally said.

Erin promised herself she would talk to Kelly tonight no matter what. If she had to corner him at 51, at Shay's, maybe lock him in the cage, it was going to happen tonight.

The customary I'm going to Shay's text came in right after he got off shift.

Erin rolled her eyes knowing Kelly was taking a Shay sleepover for granted. Leslie was all for the couple talking tonight, no way she was shuffling him off to her house. He was dropped off at their condo doorstep thirty minutes later proving her point.

"So decided to come home?" Erin asked, eyes narrowing at how tired he looked.

"Hmmph," he answered, resting his bag on the floor.

Without the Holly prescribed drugs, Kelly felt like his skull had been split in two. His molars hurt, and his head felt somehow bruised from the inside out. How could one little vertebra, maybe two, make everything hurt so damn much? He was finally admitting to himself that it had to be something wrong with his neck.

Kelly trudged to the shower hoping the hot would wash away that pain in his neck, the pain from his shift, the pain of a lost baby. He knew it would not touch any of it. Erin let him get cleaned up. Then they were working this thing out, she told herself.

The well maintained wall they'd built up seemed to be getting higher with each bout of silence. Would they even know how to talk to each other, she wondered. Erin waited for the water to stop, but it kept on going. At long last it ceased and she waited for him to come out. That didn't come quickly either.

She heard a retching sound from behind the door and was torn between barging in or waiting.

"Do you need me?" she asked, turning the knob. "You sick?"

An answer came with the toilet being flushed and more sounds of vomiting.

Erin opened the door.

The silence lengthened as Kelly searched her eyes. There were no words to be spoken. She walked to him, sitting on the floor by the toilet, taking him in her arms. She cradled him for a long time and knew something was wrong. Something way beyond the two of them was wrong.

"I'm sorry, Erin," he kept saying over and over. "I'm an asshole. Tried to hurt you. Did hurt you." They'd moved up to the couch with Kelly sprawled out, Erin's body between his outstretched legs. She was curled up in his arms.

"I did all this, Kel. I did it," Erin cried, burying her head in his chest, admitting it out loud again cutting straight to her heart. "Our baby," her voice choked out unable to say anything else about their baby… the baby who's heartbeat they'd listened to, seemingly as strong as a drum, who she pictured having Kelly's eyes, his grin, a boy. She teased him mercilessly about it being a girl, but no… she envisioned a little Kelly. Always.

"Don't say it," he whispered in her ear, kissing the top of her head. "You came to me and I pushed you away," he admitted, both arms around his wife stroking her back up and down. He hadn't felt the softness of her skin in weeks, her silky hair and the faint smell of her shampoo. Such a damn fool, he thought. "Forgive me?" he failed her on every level, acting like it was only him facing the loss.

"Can you forgive me, Kelly?" Erin asked looking up at his face. "Our baby, our baby," she cried out, repeating it, hoping to turn back time and do something differently, anything differently. Her tears flowing for the first time since the day it happened, bottling everything up and eventually letting the hurt flow out as anger.

"There ain't a damn thing to forgive... I love you," he said nodding his head, accepting the accident for what it was. "I love you so damn much. I need you Erin." Kelly let his face touch hers, the closeness feeling so right. Her breath falling on him feeling so right. Her body in his arms feeling just right. "We're gonna be okay," he insisted to her, and to himself.

Kelly closed his eyes again taking in the warmth of his wife, everything about her feeling perfect pressing against his body. Even the hot tears from her face having a familiarity and a rightness to them. His own tears falling onto her hair. Their baby was gone. It was time for them to face it, to take down the calendar, to clear out the nursery, and to get back to living the life they were making. Together. Yes, he decided, it was time for them to face it. Together.

"I love you," Erin breathed out between sob wrecked breaths. She felt broken and knew her husband felt the same way. Kelly was right, we will be alright, she thought. We'll build ourselves back up, one little bit at a time. Together.

The next day was just the Severides, phones off, laptops off… it was a couple pretending the world did not exist. They holed up in the condo hunkering down for some serious alone time, as everything went on around them. Erin talked about their baby, the dreams she hadn't shared with Kelly, the hopes she pinned on an unborn child. Uncharacteristic for her, but she needed to unload, feeling a desire to let him know she had fallen in love with their baby too.

Kelly made some calls while Erin napped, arranging to get the baby things out of the condo. Casey would break down the crib, changing table, all the bigger pieces and Manny was coming to haul it all away. Matt hadn't known how to help the struggling couple, having his own relationship issues. Gabby was all consumed with the job, her candidacy wearing on both of them. It had been a struggle from day one with the bunch of good ole boys at her house. She had to constantly prove herself and it never seemed good enough. Casey honestly didn't see why she was putting herself through the torture and that was half their problem. He didn't get it.

Matt was thrilled to be doing something now.

Cailin swung by on the way to a Callahan dinner wishing she could stay and chat for a while, for a long while and maybe miss the whole affair. She quickly saw it was a no visitors kind of day, picked up the baby clothes saying Ma's church group would appreciate them, and left adding a quick, "Lindsay, those big girl panties suit you." Erin's husky laugh could be heard as Cally let herself out.

All's good in Severide land, she texted Jeff in the car. He'd been called in, all too happy to miss the big dinner but also regretting not being able to help with the clearing of the nursery planned for the next day.

Good was his reply.

Cally snorted at the terse response knowing it belied how happy he was at the news. She peeked in the bag of baby clothes pulling out a teeny onesie. How the hell does a tiny human fit in this thing, she wondered, running a hand over the super soft cotton, tracing the words on the front, "My Daddy's a Firefighter." She stuffed the onesie back in the bag roughly, stuffing her emotions down as well, ready to face the Callahan clan. More than a small part of her now looking forward to it even without her cowboy.

"Kelly," Erin started as the two sat down to eat the Chinese takeout. "You gonna tell me what's going on with you?"

"Hmm?" Kelly asked not wanting to think about that pain coming from his neck. The pain that was makin' it hard to think of anything else. He stuffed his mouth full of rice muttering something about it being good.

Erin just stared at him, eyebrows raised, watching him as he avoided her eyes. He'd groaned through the night those moments he did sleep. When he was awake, she could tell he was hurting. She put her chopsticks down and waited.

"What?" he snapped. It isn't the time, he told himself. Everyday he said the same thing. Not the right time to call his neuro, not the right time to say something to Shay or Casey, not the right time to do anything about that pain that started as a slight nagging moved into gnawing and was now at unbearable.

"Kelly, I know you're hurting. Talk to me," Erin said as gently as she could, resisting the urge to push further and harder.

"I think I tweaked my neck a little," he admitted, forcing down his rising anger at her prodding. This is not the right time, he told himself again. They just reconnected about thirty seconds ago, didn't need to deal with his crap.

"Please, Kelly," Erin tried, worry flashing in her eyes.

"You're gonna make me do this now, aren't you?" he asked, dropping his fork, thinking about dropping his tough guy exterior. Those damn hazel eyes.

"Yep," Erin replied, dimpled grin added to the pleading.

"Shit." Kelly took a deep breath and started from the beginning, the ladder fall, the hurt, how it got worse and worse each day. "It couldn't 'o come at a worse time," he reasoned, trying to excuse his cover up.

"Yeah, next time, fall on a Tuesday, when I'm off and we've just come back from the beach okay?" Erin's words covering her concern. She knew her man didn't complain, he didn't show weakness almost to a detriment, and he sure as hell didn't moan and groan the way he had last night. "So what do you want to do?"

"I guess I'll call my neurosurgeon, the one who fixed it first time 'round," Kelly answered noncommittally.

"First thing tomorrow?" Erin asked, wishing he'd done that a month ago, but also knowing complaining about it now was not going to accomplish anything. Kelly was the way Kelly was. She loved it, but at the moment also hated it. They were raw, grieving… they didn't need an argument about anything right now.

"Yep," Kelly replied casually, "tomorrow." He had no intentions of following through, but those hazel eyes made him fulfill his promise.

The phone call led to a squeezed in appointment that led to an all day affair. Dr. Stinson wanted a battery of tests starting with an MRI.

"You should have come in the day this happened," he chastised his patient. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This could very well be your neck. Let me study the MRI and I'll call you in for a follow up. We'll go from there."

The reality of it hit Severide when Dr. Stinson said he was off duty, couldn't even go in to do paperwork. When he fit Kelly with a neck brace, the fireman thought he was going to jump out of his skin.

"It's okay, Kel," reassured Erin rubbing her hand along his arm.

The piercing look he gave her said there was no way the brace was staying on. Proof of that came in the car.

"I can't breathe with that thing on!" he complained, flinging it to the back seat. "I shouldn't have gone in," he muttered under his breath.

"You are kidding me?" Erin asked in disbelief. "Because you think you're growin' a new neck sometime soon?"

"Ha, ha. No, just couldn't of come at a worse time." Kelly thought about what he had cookin' in his brain, all of it some serious making up of time. He wanted to make up for lost days apart, help them create some happy memories to combat the sad ones. He knew they'd probably be grieving in some way for the rest of their days, but he was determined they were adding some smiles on that dimpled face. And now this.

He grumped out, "Wanted to take you to Joe's tonight. Haven't been there in so damn long."

"And why can't you take me now?" One of those grins appeared.

"I ain't wearin' that thing," he answered, eyeing the brace like an enemy.

"Yes you are," she smiled and kissed him on the cheek before taking off.

The doc gave Kelly some painkillers that rivaled Dr. Holly's. So good he doubted anything was wrong with his neck, at least for that night.

He whistled as he got out of his car, running to the other side to open Erin's door.

"Wife," he said dramatically, motioning for her to get out.

"Husband?" she answered stepping into the cold, making a mental note to drive home. She could see Kelly traveling into the half drunk land of loopy, but it was a welcome change. His face hadn't seen a smile in how long? How easily they were stepping back to their usual roles, their easy way with each other. She suspected they had a hard road ahead, but was also certain they'd faced the worst.

"I love you, Erin," he whispered in her ear, moving from from side to side behind her, deciding which side to stay on.

"You're making me dizzy, Severide," she laughed out, a real laugh that hadn't been heard in such a long time, seemed extinct.

"Jeanine!" Kelly said exuberantly as they entered, with Erin shaking her head.

"Oh my goodness! It has been ages, you two," the sweet waitress went in for a hug from her favorite couple. All at Joe's watched these two go from friends to more, enjoying the romance like a bit of reality TV in their diner. "Now what did you do to yourself?" she asked looking at the neck brace the fireman was sporting.

"She's makin' me wear it," he whispered, eyeballing Erin. "Let's get a few drinks in her, then I'll see if I can sneak it off."

Erin laughed, "I can hear you two."

They were seated at their favorite booth, the drinks on the way, with a red wine ordered on the sly for the detective.

"What exactly did Dr. Stinson give you?" Erin wondered aloud, musing if there was enough to share.

"It's good, whatever it is," Kelly answered, reaching for his her hands. "Hey, wife," he started.

"Yes, Kel."

"I'm glad you made me come 'round," he kissed her hands. "We're gonna be good. We are good," he insisted, winking at Jeanine as she made her way back with the drinks.

Erin chuckled looking at the wine glass… "You tryin' something, Severide?"

"Maybe," he said slyly. Jeanine left the couple, and Kelly's face got serious. "I'm tryin' to be a better husband. Erin, I am so sorry…"

"Shut up," Erin demanded. "I'm sorry, you're sorry. We're done with that asinine blame game." She grabbed Kelly's hands in hers now, brushing them against her cheeks. They felt so rough and so good against her face.

"Let's make it a quick eat," Kelly said, changing the subject, mischievous grin on his face.

"Okay?" Erin questioned, a vague awareness of what he was hinting at.

"Feel good enough for dessert at home," he said proudly. "And it's been a helluva long time since we've had dessert." He kissed her hands again, letting his mouth open slightly onto the back of her hand, running his tongue to her wrist.

"Too long," Erin agreed wondering how he made her hand feel so sexy and dirty at the same time. "Too damn long, hero," she repeated, closing her eyes, enjoying the feel of his mouth on her. Now and hopefully later.

So they're making their way back to each other. Thoughts?