Thanks for sticking with me through the dark times. Your reviews, follows and faves mean so much. Linseride is working back to each other... hope you enjoy.

The night was one to go down in the Severide books. Those pills held their own leaving Kelly ready to hold his own. It had been so long, just seeing Erin reach up to stretch her T-shirt over her head caused a low growl to emit from the fireman.

"You gonna be able to hold it together?" Erin laughed, her husky voice so sexy Kelly didn't know the answer to that.

"Don't you worry about my job. You just worry about takin' those clothes off," he looked at her with a need that was primal and unmet for over a month. He rushed at her, roughly throwing her on the bed. She let out a sound that resembled a squeal, followed by some more hoarse laughter.

He stood over her as if she were some prize he won, taking in every curve of her body. Tempting himself by standing still almost on top of her, waiting for her to make a move, hoping it would come soon.

Erin looked at her husband with the same lust she felt the first time she laid eyes on him… at 51 dealing with some thug named Vince Keeler. And all she thought about were those eyes and what was hiding underneath the quilted, dark blue squad jacket. She'd reprimanded herself for saying his name over in her head all the way back to the precinct when she should've been thinking about tracking down a bad guy. Then the night at Molly's, the easy conversation, the sweetness under the hot exterior. She knew that night she would not make it many days before she got a good, long look at what was lurking under his favorite leather jacket.

Erin leaned up yanking at one of his hands in one smooth move. Enough of this. "Come here, Kel." She pulled him on top of her, running her fingers along the chiseled muscles in his back, the little ripples of hills and valleys, always an amazement to her. The hard work and gym rat status to create that beautiful body.

He pressed his lips onto hers, both hungrily moving in harder, deeper. Erin rolled Kelly on his back, running her hands over his sweaty chest, letting them stray lower.

"God, Lindsay," he called out, the sweet torture of her fingertips playing him in a way only she knew.

"You like that?" she asked innocently, letting her lips follow the trail her fingers left.

He flipped her back over fulfilling the animalistic need pent up for weeks… the pair desperately clung to each other sharing a frozen moment in time that couldn't be pierced by the sadness of a lost baby. They would need that moment in the weeks to come.

"Well, lieutenant, I said I wouldn't sugar coat anything and I'm not. It is your neck, the same vertebra and unfortunately, the procedure I used last time is not an option." Dr. Stinson handed Kelly and Erin a file folder with other plans he'd mapped out.

"And why can't he have that same surgery?" asked Erin leaving the folder shut.

"It's deteriorated to such a degree the chance of a full recovery is 's also some evidence of slight comminution or fragment fractures we have in play this time. We'll have to go a more traditional route. I've sketched out a surgical option and a non-surgical option for you to look at," he referred to the packets he'd prepared.

"Non-surgical. That's perfect, doc!" Kelly perked up considerably, sitting on an examination table in silence for most of the appointment. Silently berating himself for waiting so long to seek help.

"Well, let's take a look at that plan first then." Dr. Stinson started unfolding the proposal to a shocked fireman who was left speechless.

Erin spoke up again…"That sounds a lot like doing nothing." Her arms folded, disdain for the surgeon written all over her face. There is no way her man was a give up kind of guy. She'd already decided that if this doctor didn't know that, they would go elsewhere. There had to be others out there who could help.

"No, it's a minimally invasive plan where we manage pain and use drug therapy to try and prevent further deterioration," Stinson explained. "Lieutenant, you'd be in a brace or cast for at least twelve weeks to start."

"So I wouldn't be a firefighter again?" Kelly finally spoke, barely able to choke out the words. It was the only job he'd ever wanted, the only thing he ever dreamed of being. He let himself think about adding the title dad, longed for it, was ready to put it at the top of the resume. And where had that gotten him?

"No, the rigors of the job would never allow for that. There's always teaching. I've also seen guys take desk jobs at headquarters…" the neurosurgeon reasoned.

"Those ain't options for me, doc," Kelly said sullenly, his face telling the story of a man on the edge of defeat.

"Let's hear the surgical option," Erin jumped in, standing by her husband, running her hand in small circles on his tense back.

Stinson outlined an intricate surgery that was basically a rehash of what Kelly'd heard the first time he broke his neck. Out a year, extensive rehab, hope for the best… the stake through the heart - the words he remembered, "I've never seen anyone make it to full duty after this."

Erin was scribbling notes, hearing it all for the first time. The doctor excused himself to leave the couple to themselves.

"Kelly, we'll get through this," she whispered not liking the stupor he seemed to be in. "Hey, it's not the worst thing that could happen. You are going to be a firefighter again."

"We've been through the worst. And now this on top of it all," his head was hanging so low and all the Severide fire gone out of his eyes. The baby gone, his career down the toilet.

They remained in silence, both thinking about the baby, a rush of emotions that would hit them for the rest of their lives. At an unexpected moment, the loss would flood in to remind them things could change in the blink of an eye.

"Hey, hey," Erin broke the silence, pulling Kelly's head up with her finger. "We are gonna be okay. And you are going to be okay. Got it?" She didn't know how true her words were, but she knew he needed to hear them. She hoped he had another recovery in him, but a nagging in her gut said a man could only take so much, her man could only take so much before the body said no more.

So damn strong, Kelly thought. He pulled her in tight, burying his head deep in her chest, knowing he would need that strength.

"I got you, Kel," Erin said, "I got you right here." And those words she was certain of.

The surgery was called a success by Dr. Stinson, complication-free … "Now begins the heavy lifting," he said the next day when Kelly emerged from an anesthesia haze.

"I can move in," Shay offered, holding Holly's hand, feeling it tense up slightly.

"You just moved in with this one," Erin replied looking at Holly forcing a slight smile, "You are not moving in with us. Would Holly move in too? Four of us in our condo? I love you for the offer, Leslie Shay, but sardines packed in a too small can… uh, no way," Erin said flatly.

Holly exhaled deeply, not wanting to share her girl with anyone. She was up for helping out, for doing what they could, but moving in?

Erin was exhausted, the dark beneath those hazel eyes showing the worry and grief encompassing her world, from one tragic event that ended a barely started life to one that could spell an end to her husband's passion. She was running, running because she had to, afraid if she stopped she would never get back up.

"What're you gonna do? When you get him home, he can't be alone while you're at work," Shay pried, needing to do something. She knew Kelly could NOT not be a firefighter. It was in his DNA, imprinted in the Severide code. What was he if not a firefighter?

"We've worked it out. We hired someone to come in, make sure he has what he needs," Erin explained, not wanting another fight, not sure if she could take another fight. Kelly was against anyone helping out, saying he was fine on his own.

"If I can't get up to take a piss, you may as well put me down, Erin," he said only half joking. She hadn't seen the humor in it at all.

"We are hiring a home health care person and that's it," Erin insisted, her eyes saying don't even think about arguing. That had been her way. He tried to fight her and she wasn't taking it. He tried to go dark and she said no way. She'd fought this hard to get them back, she was not backing down now. If anything, they needed to be stronger than they ever had been.

"When I'm off shift, I'll be there every second, every minute," Shay pushed, letting go of Holly's ever tightening grip.

"Shay," Erin said slowly, "Can we talk, outside?" Leslie hesitantly followed the brunette out of Kelly's room, the fireman oblivious to any of the conversation, to the fact that there were even people in his room.

Shay tapped her foot impatiently, not having the time for whatever was to follow. The blonde knew deep within her that she was the one who knew what Kelly needed. She always had.

"Leslie, I know you love Kelly. I know he's been your number one for too many years to count, but now… things are different. He's my number one…" Erin said as gently as she could.

"He is my best friend," Shay interrupted.

"Let me finish," Erin stated with a dead calm. "He is my number one, my number one priority, the person I love more than anything else in this world. Rest assured of that. I will take care of him through this. Do we need your help? Hell yeah. But he doesn't have to be your number one anymore. I got that covered." Erin paused hoping a blow-out was not to come.

Shay chewed on this for a minute while chewing on the inside of her cheek. "It just feels so weird. We were all we had for so long, then you came along… Not that it's bad, I'm happy for you two. It's just different." Leslie's eyes were watering up and Erin could've kicked herself for saying anything.

"I know it's different," she interjected. "But like you said it's not a bad thing."

Shay contemplated that for another minute before bringing Erin in for a tight hug, both women losing it, tears flowing.

"We're gonna need you Leslie Shay. I'm not saying disappear on us. You just don't have to be there every minute of every day," Erin choked out. it was a hard conversation that had been a long time coming. Kelly had agreed when his wife said his blonde best friend deserved happiness, a happiness at home that maybe didn't even include him.

"You got it," Shay answered, something in her both breaking and coming together anew. She looked in Kelly's room, feeling that her number one may be in there after all and it wasn't the man in the hospital bed.

The first home health care professional was relieved of her duties after one day. Erin gave little Amy the big heave ho after the nurse insisted that Kelly needed a sponge bath while he was semi-coherent. She cried buckets apparently attached to her patient after less than four hours.

The second nurse was a man, a big, hulk of a man with a no nonsense attitude and a no sponge bath policy. Chris also had an easy smile and Erin thought kind eyes. Kelly didn't have an opinion, insisting more than ever that he didn't need a freaking "babysitter." Grumpy did not even begin to cover the attitude the fireman was sporting when told he couldn't start any PT until he was evaluated by Dr. Stinson in a week.

"A week?" he'd almost yelled at the doc.

"Yes," the neuro replied calmly, "and I wouldn't get my hopes up for any therapy that soon. I've seen patients who weren't ready for a month."

Erin thought she may be dealing with a heart attack from her man if Stinson continued.

"But we know that won't be you, Kel. Okay? That's not you," she tried to comfort him.

He was inconsolable most of that week, frustrated at having to remain so immobile, not happy with the huge neck brace he was supposed to wear. Chris dragging him to the bathroom and back to bed, only letting him take off the brace when showering. When finished, there was Nurse Chris, towel in one hand, brace in the other.

Erin went to work more focused on her phone and texting Kelly than the cases they were trying to close. She couldn't have cared less about the DePaul drug debacle, if anyone else went down, wanting to forget the whole ordeal. She knew Cally was on some warpath ready to run over anything and anyone who got in her way. Erin tried to get her to let it go, but to no avail. She didn't have the energy to fight her, to make her back down. She didn't have the energy for much of anything other than taking care of her fireman.

Dr. Stinson's words proved true and Severide was not ready to start any PT. He was given the green light to move around, and the doc was happy with how everything looked.

"So far, so good," he said looking at a new set of scans. "No complications. This is good news," he insisted, seeing that scowl on his patient's face.

Erin refused to let him sink into a Severide darkness. She was his rock again and again, fighting for him, for his recovery, for them like she never had. It was when she found him on the bathroom floor, she took it in and decided she would be the rock this time. She would be a damn mountain if she had to.

"Hey no long faces, hero. We'll have you on a treadmill before you know it." Erin could feel her phone vibrating again. Third time. She stole a quick glance… it was Voight. They'd all been Voight.

"Just get it," Kelly muttered, trying to loosen the brace.

"Hank's called three times," she explained, hitting his number, giving her husband a don't touch the brace look.

"Javi's missing," Voight said before Erin even got out a "what's up."

"What do you mean missing?"

"He ran away this morning."

Erin let out a deep breath as she clicked End. Could one more thing happen, she thought. She banished that idea quickly, not wanting to tempt fate.

Kelly told Erin to go. Find that kid, make sure he was safe. He even smiled as she kissed him goodbye. But there was nothing joyous in his grin. His mind said it had only been a week, his brain told him it was going to be a long journey, but his heart wanted another miracle. He wanted to feel like he was actually working to get better, not just layin' around on his ass, waiting for the hour to come when he could take another pain pill. The sitting around would bring in that darkness, nagging doubts about a full recovery, a heaviness in the heart with little flashes of a baby that would never be. He knew it was crazy, stupid, but Kelly couldn't help but think a baby would've made it all the more bearable. He shook his head banishing those little things that could drive a person crazy. How the hell would I even take care of a baby right now? Although deep within, he knew he would've found a way.

He was in bed trying to sleep when he heard the door open and shut. Erin peeked in the bedroom suspecting he was still awake.

"I'm not asleep, babe," he said leaning up on his pillow, reaching for the lamp on his nightstand.

Erin turned it on for him. "Where the hell's your neck brace?" she snapped seeing his neck, his naked, braceless neck.

"Did you find the kid?" asked Kelly reaching for the hated thing lying at his side. He sloppily snapped it back on.

"Kel, you cannot take that off. Dr. Stinson said…"

"I know what the hell he said! I was there! Can you give me a break? I can't sleep with it on!" Kelly snapped back, words flowing like a raging river.

Erin pulled away slowly, the hurt in her eyes visible even in the dim light.

"Babe, I'm sorry. Come here. Didn't mean it," Kelly tried, reaching his arm out as his wife headed to the kitchen.

"I'll be right back. Getting you some water." Erin wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as she rushed out of the room and toward the living room.

"Is everything okay Miss Erin?" asked Javi, sitting on the couch, an untouched glass of milk in front of him. "I can stay back at my place. You know I can take care of myself. You can check on me tomorrow."

Erin laughed softly, sitting down next to her little friend. She put a hand on his knee, passing him the glass. She had figured she'd find him at his house, that place of filth and neglect. They always went back, she thought sadly.

"Everything's fine. You are not going anywhere," the brunette smiled warmly, hoping to bring some sense of stability, if even for just one night. "I told you that my husband had an operation? Well, it's only been a few days, and he's hurting and grumpy. He's not used to just laying around, doin' nothing." Erin tried to explain, the whole while Javi shaking his head yes, like he understood.

"I'll be real quiet tomorrow. Promise." The little boy held out his pinkie finger.

Where the hell did he learn that, wondered Erin laughing louder. She wrapped hers around his and they squeezed.

"Pinkie promise," he whispered with her hoarse laugh filling the space.

"Who's havin' a party out here?" asked Kelly shuffling to the kitchen area, reaching for a dining room chair. The sound of his own feet dragging on the floor, sending a shiver of disgust down his spine. Like a damn old man, he thought angrily.

"You should've called me, Kel." Erin helped him sit, feeling his arm pulling slightly away from her.

"I got it," he said wondering how he was gettin' back. "So who do we have here?" he asked knowing full well who this was.

"Hi, sir. My name's Javi," the little boy held out his hand.

Kelly stifled a laugh at the formality, holding out his hand. "We've met before, right?" he asked.

"Yes, sir. You were mostly in your room though," Javi trailed off.

"Erin, wanna help me back," Severide asked with a "we need to talk" mixed in there. "And nice meeting you, Javi. Or seeing you again."

"And when were you going to tell me we had a house guest?" Kelly asked once settled into their bed.

"I didn't really have a chance with you snapping my head off," she countered.

"True. And I'm sorry, babe. Frustrated, takin' it out on you. Forgive me?" he asked, pulling her down next to him, making a vow to quit doin' that. Laying on their sides, face to face, he brushed her cheek running his fingers down to the dimple. The softness sending another shiver down his spine.

Erin pushed her face closer kissing him on his stubbly cheek. "You gonna shave that anytime soon?" she teased.

"Shay said beards are in," he answered drawing her lips back to his.

"When have you ever been concerned with what's in?" she laughed between kisses. "I better get out there." She pulled away, both knowing they had to stop.

"Damn," he said sadly, eyes growing dark. How much longer, he wondered.

"Soon enough, husband," Erin promised, giving him one more kiss, keeping her hands off his face. "Hey, and Javi's a cool kid, right?"

"Yes and yes. Cool kid but just one night, okay?"

"Just one," Erin gave him another quick peck on the forehead, bouncing out of the bedroom back to her little bud who was stretched out on the couch fast asleep.

Erin enrolled Javi in a small Catholic elementary two days later. St. Elizabeth's had Voight ties running so deep, questions would not be asked, registration paperwork could be overlooked, and a seven-year-old could get back into the routine of school. The director's son had a clean record because of a certain sergeant at the 2-1. The assistant director's niece was alive and well due to the actions of the same cop. Hank's connections with the little school were tight, as tight as family.

"Why the hell'd you do that?" asked Kelly from the bed, feeling like he'd been surgically implanted on the thing.

"He's comfortable here. I'm afraid he'll bolt again if I put him with another family. He needs to be in school, Kel. It's just until I can find him a good home." Erin was sitting at the side of the bed.

"He ain't a dog, Erin… I can't say no to you. Ever," he complained. "Wouldn't make a damn bit of difference if I did. Would it?" he said losing the angry eyes fast.

"Nope," Erin answered, kissing him on the nose. "Your follow-up's tomorrow," she reminded unnecessarily. It was all Kelly could think about.

"If he says I can't start my PT, I don't know what I'm gonna do, babe," Severide admitted.

"If he does, we'll deal with it. You will do what he says because it's just a matter of time." Erin kissed him again, this time full on the mouth. "And my gut says you're going to be hitting it hard after the appointment."

"Hitting what hard?" he asked, slight grin spreading across his face.

"Be good. I've gotta go in for a few hours. Hey, and be nice to Javi. He said you didn't say three words to him yesterday." Erin was up, heading out before her husband could respond.

"So he's snitchin' on me now," Kelly complained loudly, hoping the kid heard.

Nurse Chris had been relieved of his duties when Severide demonstrated to his girl he could get around on his own. This day he wished the big guy was still around. "Up and down," Dr. Stinson had warned. Today was pretty far down there.

He took the brace off. His neck was killing him. Put it back on. Neck still killing him. He looked at his phone. Two minutes had passed. Another two hours before he could pop another pain pill. He wanted an ice pack but didn't want to get up and make the trek to the kitchen. He flipped on the TV for tenth time, scanning through the stations, landing on ESPN, turning it off a few minutes later.

At the one hour mark, Kelly decided it wouldn't kill him to take another pill.

"Goddammit!" he yelled as his glass of water crashed to the floor, the open bottle of pills following, leaving a scattered mess. He rolled off the bed, landing on all fours, trying to pick up the tiny white spheres with shaky fingers.

"Goddammit!" he yelled again, rolling on his back in frustration. He wiped his hand across his face, breathing heavily, wanting to punch something, anything.

The creak of the door opening a crack snapped his head to attention.

"Aaaahh!" he cried out at the sudden movement, bringing his hand to the back of his neck.

He could see a pair of brown eyes looking at him.

The door opened wider.

"Are you okay?" the little boy with the brown eyes asked.

"I'm good, Javi. Go watch TV or whatever you're doin' out there," Kelly instructed as the boy stepped in moving closer to the fireman.

Kelly's eyes were closed now. When he opened them, Javi was directly above him, just staring down.

"Jesus!" he called out, startled at how close the boy had come.

Javi held out his hand for Kelly to take. Severide reluctantly took it wondering how that little runt was gonna get him back in bed. He did. The strength surprising him, just like his wife's.

The little boy popped down below the bed, then popped up again, pill bottle in hand.

"Got 'em all!" he exclaimed taking one out for Kelly, putting the bottle on the nightstand. "Be right back," he breathed out running from the room.

He returned about 30 seconds later, full glass of water in hand. "Here," he offered smiling.

Kelly took the water, downing the pill gratefully. He closed his eyes, resting his head against his pillow, hands going for the brace. A little pair of hands met his.

"Miss Erin says you have to keep that on," his voice whispered out, shakily.

You have got to be shittin' me, thought Kelly before a huge laugh belted out, jarring his neck further, a few tears springing out. Severide not sure if they were from the hurt or the laughing. He didn't care.

He opened his eyes again and Javi was not there. A rustling on the other side of the bed snapped Kelly's neck in that direction.

"Mmmph," he grunted. "Jesus, kid. Quit moving around before you kill me or break my neck again." He pat the side of the bed, turning the TV back on. "Blackhawks have an early game today."

"What are the Blackhawks?" asked Javi.

After his initial "what the hell" reaction, Kelly launched into a sports history lesson about "the best team in hockey." The little boy listened, taking it all in, getting excited for the game. Severide had him get chips, dip, soda, and one beer from the kitchen… took two trips. He was thankful Erin hadn't said anything about no beer.

Kelly was animated throughout, enjoying the defensive match-up against the hated Red Wings. Javi watched the fireman and mimicked his moves, adding his own yells of encouragement or disgust.

When Erin came in after more hours than she chose to count, the place was so quiet she thought it might be empty.

"Javi," she whispered, heading to the second bedroom, a nursery a few months earlier, now empty. Still empty.

Panic began to rise… had he run? She quietly opened her bedroom door, stopping dead in her tracks. Kelly was on top of the covers, flat on his back and snoring softly. She smiled seeing the neck brace on, grin fading quickly noticing the empty beer bottle on the night stand. Javi was next to him, sleeping on his side, comforter pulled up to his chin. An empty bag of chips lay between the two with crumbs littered on top, and she imagined under, the covers.

She thought about carrying the young boy to the couch, but settled on leaving him in her bed. It was a big day tomorrow. Javi was starting at St. Elizabeth's. Kelly had his doctor's appointment. Erin fell asleep almost the instant her head hit the couch cushion, feeling so much better about both.