A/N: This is a short chapter, but I felt bad for making you guys wait for an update so wanted to get something out.

I had a tense and distracted hour with Dr. Lewis, unable to keep my mind off of the girl and her interaction with me and then with Steve after. She must have been someone important to me, the way that I dreamed about her, the way she had looked so hurt when I said I didn't remember her, and the feeling of anger that I had felt at Steve touching her, she must have been a girl I was seeing or sleeping with or dating, maybe all three? But then I wondered why hadn't Steve told me about her? Why wasn't she in any of my journals? All the questions only frustrated me even more.

I was out of Dr. Lewis' office before he had finished saying 'that's time for today, Sergeant Barnes', walking quickly and purposefully through the compound to the elevators that lead up to the living quarters. I bypassed the common area that Natasha, Sam, and Thor we're currently hanging out in and went straight to Steve's room knocking once on the door before pushing it open. He was there, sitting on his bed, phone in hand, looking up at me in surprise.

"Oh, hey, Buck-."

"Who is she?" I cut in, shutting the door behind me and locking it. I was not in the mood for pleasantries or interruptions.

Steve hesitated. "Bucky-."

"No, I know you know her. I saw you talking to her. And I want you to tell me who she is."

"Sit down, Buck," Steve said motioning to the bed beside him.

I didn't want to sit. I wanted to remain standing and for him to answer my damn questions, but I knew Steve's stubbornness. He wouldn't answer me until I sat. I did begrudgingly, sitting next to him on the bed as he turned to look at me.

"Her name is Jade Johnson."

I was suddenly propelled into a memory, one of her sitting across from me in some diner, smiling at me nervously. 'Well I'm Jade Marie Johnson, since we're sharing full names', she had laughed softly while saying it, looking up at me through her lashes, a slight red hue to her cheeks which had sent my heart fluttering and made butterflies swarm in my stomach.

Jade.

"Who is she to me?" I went further.

Steve took in a deep breath. "Well to really explain I have to start at the beginning."

"Go on."

"You went out drinking with Thor one night and you got plastered from what you told me-."

I frowned. "We can't get drunk, Steve."

"You can if you drink Asgardian alcohol which is made for Gods," Steve replied. "Which you did and it got you really drunk and you met someone while you were out and you brought her back here."

"Jade…"

"Yes, Jade. She spent the night with you and you guys...you know…" Steve turned a shade or red before cleaning his throat and continuing. "She snuck out before you woke up, me and the rest of the team caught her on the way out. It was embarrassing for her naturally. And when I went in to check on you I found her ID in your room; and even though you couldn't remember a single thing from the night before, I encouraged you to bring it to her and ask her out."

I huffed. "Typical."

Steve gave me a brief frown before continuing. "You went, you went out to eat, she gave you her number and kissed you on the cheek and things went well. And then you came back to the compound and after talking to me and Nat about it decided it would be too dangerous for you to be with her or be around her and you never called her or anything."

"And you ended up being right because a week or so later, when you got back early from a mission and went to her place to check on her, you caught a group of Russian men- Hydra's men- trying to kidnap her."

My blood was boiling again at that the thought of that. "Did they succeed?"

Steve shook his head. "No, you got there just in time apparently. You took her to a safe house, a motel room at a pretty much deserted motel in the middle of nowhere that we set up for you. You got shot in the process of saving her and passed out from blood loss. She stitched you up and took care of you and when I called to see why the safe house had been accessed she answered and told me what was happening. You were there for a day and a half, and I'm not sure really what happened between you while we waited to move you back to the compound, but I did walk in on you guys kissing and the next time I came to bring food she had a hickey on her neck."

I felt a small smile touch my lips. Old Bucky's still got it, the thought crossed my mind smugly. It had been so long since I had been with anyone before all this mess that I wondered if I ever would find someone and if I did, would I still be as suave as I once was. Apparently I still had it, even after all this time.

"And then he, Dimitri, and a group of men came for you guys."

I frowned, the smugness leaving me completely. "And?"

"And they took you back to Russia, to the facility where you were held sometimes as the Winter Soldier. They wiped your memory, turned you back to the Winter Soldier and Dimitri made her watch," my fists clenched. "He toyed with Jade, made you attack her and almost kill her just for the fun of it. And locked her in a cell. Your old cell. Kept her in there with no food or water for 3 days before he came in and tried to rape her while you stood there and watched."

My stomach sunk into the pits of my body and fiery anger raged through my veins. I remembered none of that, but just hearing it was enough to make me feel livid. She had suffered all of that because of me and I didnt even remember her. I shook my head.

"So when you said that you rescued me from a Hydra cell this last time she was there too?"

Steve nodded. "Yes, we found you guys just in time. I went in after you and sent Tony and Thor after her."

"Why didn't you tell me about her? I would have...I woulda…" I shook my head again. "I don't know what I would have done, but she deserves for me to remember her. Everything that she's been through just for me and I cant even have the decency to remember."

"Bucky, that's not your fault and she realizes that. She didn't want me to tell you about her because she didn't want you to feel obligated or anything. She wanted you to remember her on your own and remember why you liked her just because, not because we told you that you did."

"She barely knows me and I put her through all of that and shes still somehow concerned about me?" I ran a hand through my hair. I stood. "I need to go talk to her. To apologize. Or...something. Do you know where she lives?"

"And Steve didn't tell you?"

I shook my head. "No, he didn't."

Iris sighed. "What a jerk move by the Captain."

I pushed my spaghetti around on my plate. "He said he thought I wouldn't want to know, because Bucky still didn't remember me. Probably trying to spare my feelings or something."

"Or keep you all to himself," Iris mumbled before taking a sip of her wine.

I looked up from my plate and frowned at her. "Don't start that again, Iris. Steve and I are just friends."

"Yes, I know, but I am not totally convinced that he doesn't have feelings for you," she set her wine glass down and reached for bread out of the bread basket.

"Well even if he did it doesnt matter because the only person I have feelings for is the metal armed man that came into my life a year ago and turned it all upside down."

The restaurant was full around us, Iris asking me to meet her there after our conversation on the phone. Iris thought the cure to everything involving emotions was food, specifically Italian food or breakfast food. But the definite cure to feelings of betrayal was pasta and bread in her book.

"Well can you forgive the Captain?" She asked.

"Yes, after a lengthy time out and another apology. I know he was thinking that he was doing the right thing, but he knew that I had been waiting and wondering. I mean I ask about James nearly every time we talk."

"And what will you do about James?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. What is there to do? He doesn't remember me."

"Maybe you should go talk to him?"

"And say what exactly? 'Hey you don't remember me but we had a one night stand and then a crazy bad guy tried to kidnap me because of you and we spent two days in hiding in a motel room doing basically everything BUT having sex and then we both got kidnapped and I had to sit and watch them turn you into a mindless monster and you stood by and watched while the crazy bad guy attempted to rape me'?" I shook my head. "I can't make him remember. I can't make him like me again. He has to do it on his own, otherwise its...fake. And what James and I had...even in that short time, was real and that's what I want again."

Irish sighed, but nodded. "I hear you, girl. I do...I am going to cancel my plans with Brandon tonight and kick him out for a while, and you and me, we're going to stay in and drink wine and eat junk."

I felt a small smile touch my lips. The girl may have gotten on my last damn nerve sometimes, but I loved her. She always knew how to cheer me up and have my back.

"That sounds like a good idea."

"We can watch a movie on your fancy new bedroom TV," she drawled.

I rolled my eyes. "I only got that fancy new bedroom TV because you and Brandon dont know how to keep your damn hands to yourself when others are present."

"What can I say?" Iris exhaled and shrugged. "We're madly, deeply, and touchily in love."

We finished up our meal and paid before walking home together, arms linked and talking about a different subject than my current dilemmas. I forced it all to the back of my mind, forcing myself to engage in conversation that wasn't about Steve or Bucky, and just be in the moment with my friend. It felt nice, like a small weight had lifted even just for the moment; that was until we were approaching our building and I saw James Buchanan Barnes sitting on the steps outside.

I felt my heart skip a beat as he saw me, his eyes widening a bit, nervousness crossing his features. He rose from where he was sitting, straightening his leather jacket and pushing his long hair back from his face. Iris and I came to a halt a small distance away, her arm still linked with mine as she looked between the both of us worriedly. Bucky looked at Iris, nodding politely in greeting before his eyes were back on me. Those damn blue eyes of his.

"Hi...Jade," he said softly and I felt like my heart all, but burst in my chest. "Can...Can we talk?"