Kurt POV

I've never been very successful at lying to my father, so it never occurred to me to deny it. Instead I drew on all the pride that everyone had tried to squash out of me and looked him in the eye. "Yes."

He nodded. "I'm glad that you were honest with me. I can't say that I entirely approve of this, but I don't ever want you to lie to me about something this important." He squeezed his mug, the knuckles going white. "Finn was…he was respectful to you, right? Because if that boy tried to push you, I'll drive over there and kill him right now."

From the sudden, feral, look in his eyes, I didn't doubt that he would. I rolled my eyes at him. "Finn didn't push me, Dad, it's fine. Believe it or not, he can be quite the gentleman when the mood strikes him."

"I… I mean, you were careful, right? You had everything you needed? Because I can take you to get stuff if you need me to."

There was no polite way to say I would sooner stab myself to death with a rusty fork then go condom shopping with my father. "I had everything I needed, and, yes, Finn and I were safe."

Liar.

It wasn't exactly a lie. Finn and I had been safe, if for no other reason then it was both or our first times, and there was no chance of either disease or pregnancy. It just wasn't the sort of safe that Dad meant.

Dad nudged my mug. "Drink."

I did so, just so my mouth wouldn't blurt out something inappropriate or completely stupid. He drank, too, probably just as embarrassed as I was. He soldiered on, though. "How long has this been going on?"

That required a quick glance over at the clock. "About 5 hours." I knew I sounded sarcastic and rude, but I couldn't help it.

"Ok." He didn't seem to know what else to say. "You know that this means the two of you aren't going to be allowed alone together any more, right?"

That was what I had been afraid of. I stared him right in the eyes, trying to be as nonthreatening as possible. "Why?"

He sputtered. "Why? Because it's not appropriate for you to be having sex!"

"Why?" I was pleased that I just sounded questioning, and not like a three year old.

His eyes went narrow. "Kurt, let's be realistic here. How long have you been dating Finn? Two months? Three? Sex is a huge, important step, and taking it too soon can ruin what had been a wonderful relationship."

It had been 5 months and he knew it. 5 months was way longer then most people waited, which gave me another idea. "Are you and Carole having sex? Because I think I was dating Finn before you were dating his mother."

The sputtering stopped, but his face turned an alarming shade of purple. There are times that I worry about his heart, and this was definitely one of them. He took a huge gulp of his milk. "That is a very inappropriate question."

"It was inappropriate when you asked me, too! If you love Carole, then I love Finn just as much. Why is it inappropriate for me to ask and not for you?" My temper was trying to rise, making it hard to think.

"Because you are 16 years old and my child, and I'm a grown man and your father. It's my job to worry about you, Kurt, and to know what's going on with you. That includes who you're sleeping with." His voice was calm, which only made me feel more like a baby.

Oh, nice one. Funny, he's spent the past 8 years not worrying overmuch about what's going on with you. Now suddenly he's Dad of the year? You don't have to listen to him, Kurt. Look him in the eyes and tell him he's lost the right to boss you around!

Galinda was being too harsh. Yes, Dad had been neglectful, at least emotionally, but he was trying to make up for that. There was a part of me, one that was far larger then I liked to admit, that was even enjoying the fact that he was taking the time to have this conversation with me. There was an underlying 'Daddy's here and he's going to make sure that no one hurts you, Sweetheart' tone that did soothe something in the vicinity of my stomach.

So I didn't tell Dad off, but that didn't mean I was willing to back down, either. "Well now you know who I'm sleeping with. Finn. And it was wonderful and I don't intend to stop. So if you would rather I sneak off and have sex with him in the car or behind the bowling alley, we can do that, too. Then we can make it dirty and shameful, or get caught by a bunch of homophobes and have the crap beaten out of us. Or you can just leave well enough alone and let us do it in our nice, safe, sanitary bedrooms. Well, ok, Finn's is probably less then sanitary but you get the picture."

Even Galinda was shocked at the calm and daring way I laid that out. Dad's mouth dropped open and he was having trouble formulating words. I took advantage of that fact and leaned back in my chair. "Are you telling me I need to break up with Finn?"

"Of course not. I'm just telling you that I don't approve of you having sex so early." He was losing steam and he knew it.

"Three quarters of the school has already done it, including most of the abstinence club. But, ok, it's too early. How long would you like me to wait? Until I'm 18? That seems an awful arbitrary measure of maturity or readiness. College? Will I meet someone I love as much as I do Finn, or will I just get drunk and sleep with the first guy who's willing? How about until I get married, like a good little boy? Oh, wait, I can't get married, so I guess I'll just shrivel up and die a virgin."

The corners of his mouth tugged up. "There's a rather large gap between dying a virgin, which doesn't sound like an option any more, and having sex at 16, with your first boyfriend. You're deliberately misunderstanding what I'm saying to you."

I wanted nothing more then to bury my head in my arms and never make eye contact with Dad again. This was the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to me, counting having my butt slapped by a flaming pedophile and the time Dad walked in on me dancing in my underwear and singing the Little Mermaid. I still couldn't think of that moment without wanting to die a thousand little deaths.

But if I gave up now, Dad would win, and I would lose Finn. Not all of him, of course, but all of those special little moments would be over. Like the way we would sit on my bed and be studying, and he would just decide he had to reach over and kiss me. Or the way we would cuddle up in my swinging chair and watch a movie, me in Finn's lap and his legs stuck out in front of us so he could rock us gently. Not necessarily sexual or even affectionate things, but the tiny minutiae that made up a relationship. Private things.

"I love Finn. I was ready to have sex with him, and I did. Isn't putting some limits on our time together now a little like locking the door after you've been robbed?" I was going to win this argument with logic, instead of screaming like a child.

A tiny muscle near his jaw flicked. "So, what I'm hearing from my 16 year old, underage, son, is that I didn't catch him doing something wrong the first time he did it, so I should excuse him every time he does it?"

Oh, so now what I was doing was wrong? I crossed my arms over my chest. "What I did wasn't wrong. I'll bet if Finn were a girl you wouldn't care." It was a secret fear that I couldn't quite shake. That the issue wasn't what I had done, but that I had done it with Finn, another man.

He slapped the table, making me jump. "Don't you dare pull that gay crap on me. This has absolutely nothing to do with Finn and his gender! It has everything to do with you, and whether or not you're ready to make such a big decision."

I was so overwhelmed with relief at hearing that that I almost missed the subtle change in his words. But when I realized it, it came with an overwhelming sense of relief. Dad had gone from telling me that there was no way I was ready to make a decision about sexual matters to agreeing to talk to me and determine whether or not I was. He just hadn't said so in as many words. "I am. Ready, I mean. I thought about it, and I waited until I was 100% sure, not just about me, but about him, too. I didn't just do it because I wanted to right in that moment." If I could make him understand how much I felt for Finn, he would have to understand why I had done what I had done.

I'm not so sure about that. You want him to look at you and see a capable adult, but that's not how it works. When he looks at you, he sees his baby, his little boy, even if logically you both know that you're way beyond that. You will never be an adult to him, and no man will ever be good enough for you, not even Finn.

Only that didn't matter. Whether or not Dad thought that Finn was good enough, I did. In two years, I would be out of the house, and it would just be him and Carole. But, if I could make myself believe his words, I could have Finn forever. The trade was kind of a no brainer.

I realized that Dad hadn't replied to my last comment, so I gathered my courage and peeked up at him. He was looking back at me, his lips set. I couldn't read any expression in his face, and that threw me off. "Dad?"

He smiled, but it looked more sad then anything. Then one hand, roughened by working so hard at the garage, reached out and took mine from where it rested on the table. I tightened my fingers around his, noticing for the first time that my hand was bigger. Not broader, and certainly not as powerful, but my fingers were longer then his. From the way he was looking down, I knew that he saw it too. "You're all grown up."

His voice was so sad that my first instinct was to deny it, to tell him that I was still his little boy. That instinct was particularly annoying, since I had just spent the past 15 minutes trying to convince him that I was practically an adult that was capable of making my own sexual choices. But I couldn't hurt my own father, so I squeezed him tightly. "Halfway there."

"More then halfway. Alright, Kurt. Let's talk about you and Finn." He gave my hand another squeeze. "Tell me why I shouldn't chase your boyfriend down the street with a shotgun."

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I knew, of course, but I didn't know how to say it so Dad would understand. I had already said what I needed to, and it hadn't made a difference. I shrugged helplessly.

Dad gave me a few minutes, then tried prompting me again. "Kurt, if you can't even give me one reason, how can I expect that you actually know why?" He was gentle, but I felt like everything was closing in on me.

"I…I…." My mind had gone completely blank.

You've got this. Just repeat what you said before, and you'll be just fine. Deep breaths, Kurt.

She might be a bitch, but every once in a while Galinda comes up with some really good advice. So I drew a slow breath and released it through my nose. "Because I love him. Is there really any other reason?"

The size of his dick?

I didn't even bother giving that more then a mental nudge out of the way. This was it. I had said my piece, as honestly as I possibly could. Now it was up to Dad to make a decision.

Not that I would ever consider giving Finn up, no matter what Dad told me. Yes, I would even resort to using my car if I had to. Both Dad and Carole worked, and there was no way for them to keep tabs on us 100% of the time. Oh, dear, God, I had become half of one of those horny teenage couples, always on the lookout for a time and place to get lucky. I could no longer look down my nose at them. Someone kill me now.

Dad reached across the table and took my mug. "Go to bed, kiddo. It's late enough, and I know you have… face stuff you need to do early in the morning."

When he said it like that, he sounded just like Finn, which was kind of creepy. Didn't they always say that girls wanted to marry their Daddies? In a twisted way, I guessed that it made sense that gay boys would want to marry their fathers as well. I ran a brief mental comparison between Dad and Finn, and decided to drop this line of thought before I completely freaked myself out. Gross, gross, and nasty. "But…what about what we just talked about?" There was no way I could sleep without knowing.

"I need to think about it. I still don't approve of this, no matter how much in love you think you are, but I do remember what it's like to be 16 years old. If I say no, you'll sneak off and do it, and I want us to be open with each other. I just don't want to see you suffer if this thing with Finn fizzles out. You've been through enough, Kurt."

Suffering happened. It happened to people who deserved it, and it happened to people who didn't. I had suffered, yes, but what made it enough? Or too much? I was still here, still coping. "But…"

He didn't break. "Kurt, I need this time to think. I also need to talk to Carole about it, but that isn't going to happen tonight. It's late, and Finn needs to worry about his tests tomorrow, not whether or not I'm going to be hunting him down. I need you to be patient for me."

Patience was my middle name, but that didn't mean I liked it. Unknowns were frightening to me, in a way that most other things weren't. If I knew what was coming, even if it was something bad, I would know how to fight. Homophobic jocks? Avoid the locker rooms and PE class. Dumpster dive? Curl up to protect my head and stomach and try and save my more expensive clothing. Desperate need to impress my father? Recruit Finn to get me on the football team. Terrifying Cheerio coach? Well…..ok, you had me there.

But that was just the exception that proved the rule. Sue Sylvester was petrifying simply because she didn't follow any known rules. She knew how to bide her time to make the most impact possible. She had known about the marijuana for almost 5 months, but she had waited to spring it on Finn until she thought it would hurt Mr. Shue the most. Not Finn himself, he was incidental to the entire thing. He was collateral damage. No, this was between her and Mr. Shue, and she would take out any and every opponent. I wondered what it would be like if she decided to turn on me.

"Kiddo? Can you be patient?" Dad realized that I was off in mental la-la land and tried to draw me back.

"Yes. Can I ask a question, though?" It was the one thing I had been too scared to ask before.

"Of course." He sat back down, giving me his full attention.

This was embarrassing, but it had to be asked. "How did you know? About Finn and I, I mean. We were careful and we were dressed when you came home."

He laughed. "You were pretty sly. But, when you know what to look for, it's obvious. I told you, sex changes everything. I've seen you kiss Finn before, I've seen you hug him and touch his back and tell him that you love him. But you always hold back, just a tiny bit. That's normal. But tonight…tonight it was just you and him. No barriers. You were trusting him with your entire self, the way you've never trusted anyone before. That was how I knew."

I wondered if Finn and I would be as obvious to everyone at school, or if it took an adult to see it. "I trust you that much."

"It's different. You trust me because I'm your father and I've taken care of you since you were born. I was the very first person to hold you, when you were still all gooky and bloody. You trust me because I've always been there for you and never given you a reason not to trust me. And you still hide some things from me."

I started to protest, but he cut me off. "It's alright, and it's perfectly normal. You were right; you're very close to being an adult now. It's time for you to try and find that trust with someone else, someone you have a chance of spending the rest of your life with."

"But you don't think that Finn is the one." It wasn't a question.

Dad leaned back in his chair and thought about it, something I would always be grateful for. He was trying to make this easy. "He may be. But if he's the one right now, he'll be the one a year from now. There's no point in rushing things."

Clever words, but I was ready for him. I had already considered this, and any other situation he could come up with, at least 10 times. I'm not entirely sure if I was trying to talk myself into or out of having sex with Finn, but I'm a planner, and I had to get it all sorted out in my own mind before I could consider allowing myself to be with Finn in that way. "By that token, there's no need to wait, either. If Finn will be the one a year from now, then he's the one now, too. Waiting just delays the inevitable."

His eyes narrowed. "Damn you're smart. That comes from your mother, you know. I would argue with her, and suddenly I would be agreeing with her before I knew what happened."

I smiled. "So that means that you agree with me."

"It means go to bed, Son." He reached out and hugged me, a rare enough thing that I stiffened instead of relaxing. Before I could correct myself, he pulled back, obviously hurt. "Sorry."

"No, it's…." I trailed off, because I wasn't sure what to say. I just wasn't that used to being hugged by anyone who wasn't Mercedes or Finn. Impulsively, I threw my arms around his neck. "I love you."

"Love you, too." He squeezed me one last time, then turned me around and nudged me towards the basement. "Bed." I was almost to the door when he hit me with the last zinger. "Oh, and Kurt? If I were you, I would probably change the sheets."

My face burned for what felt like the millionth time today. It was one thing for Dad to know that I had had sex, but it was another thing entirely to hear him snickering about it. It wasn't funny!

Sex is always funny. The body parts involved, the noises, the faces…face it, Kurt, sex is kind of hysterical. Is there anything on this planet stupider looking then an erect penis?

This is something that I could never, never, tell Finn, but I had to agree. God, penises did cool things, and I loved both my own and Finn's, but Galinda did have a point. The problem was, if I revealed that to Finn, I would lose all of my credibility for being the mature on in the relationship. So I had to content myself with snickering wildly while I remade the bed.

I had just put the moisturizing cream on my face when I realized I had a text waiting for me on my phone. It had to be Finn, telling me goodnight, because he was sweet like that. He couldn't always remember what day of the week it was, and he was still kind of hopeless when it came to tying his shoes, but he loved me enough to give me a little extra text right before bed. I wiped my hands on a towel and picked it up.

The number wasn't Finn's at all, but a strange one. Curious, I opened the text and read it. Get him Hummel! Nail that Quarterback! Bow-Chicka-Bow-Bow! We're jealous of you.

Even though there was nothing threatening about the message, my stomach turned a flip. Someone knew. Someone out there had the dirt on both Finn and I, and they weren't shy about revealing it. My breath quickened until I was wheezing in and out, barely able to draw air.

Cool it! Think about this calmly and rationally. Whose number could this possibly be? It's only the Glee club that knows about you and Finn to start with, so go down the list.

Ok, I could do that. Mercedes, Tina and Rachel were all out because their names would have popped up on the screen instead of just a number. Well, Rachel's popped up as 'Diva Nag' but something would have appeared. Obviously it wasn't Shuester because that would be gross. It wasn't Finn, and it wasn't me. That was five out right there. I couldn't see Quinn cheering us on in our sinful, lustful relationship, so she should be out. Matt and Mike probably didn't care, and, to the best of my memory, had never texted me in their lives, so I could probably count them out, too. Artie might, but he had been sick for the past few days, so he probably wasn't up to doing much. What about Puck?

Puck! He was just perverted enough to send a text like that, and he was fully aware that Finn and I would be having sex soon, if not tonight. It was just like Puck to send a congratulatory note, as if losing one's virginity was something to be celebrated by the Glee club at large. Neanderthal. No, that was too good for him. Australopithecus? No, still too good. Bonobo! They were a type of monkey so foul and oversexed that they literally did nothing but eat and screw. That was Puck in a nutshell.

Only…I couldn't quite imagine Puck being jealous of someone getting something shoved up their butt. He was ok with Finn and I, but he had made it very clear that we were not to do anything that might turn him gay. And who exactly was the 'we' in the text anyway? Was he back with Santana?

When it finally hit me, it was like a speeding freight train. Puck wasn't involved in this at all. 'We' was Santana and Brittany. Somehow, the two of them had found out what Finn and I had planned. But how? And, more importantly, why? Neither one of them should care.

They don't. Well, they do, but only because they enjoy antagonizing people. You know that Santana has it out for Finn, especially since he turned her down a few days ago. And since Coach Sylvester has it out for you and Finn, too, it's like a bonus for them.

While I was busy having a mental nervous twitching fit, my phone lit up again with another text. Heart pounding, I opened it up. What do chicks bowing have to do with fucking, anyway

Definitely Brittany. Like Finn she was a very literal thinker, always going for the simplest possible explanation. Unlike Finn, who usually knew that he was wrong, she usually blurted out said explanation for everyone to hear.

My fingers were shaking, but I picked up the phone and dialed the number back. Brittany's unnaturally perky voice picked up on the second ring. "Kurty-dolphin!"

For a second I was taken aback. First of all, I hated nicknames, especially 'Kurty'. Second of all, dolphin? "What? Who?"

"Isn't this Kurt? It's Kurt's phone." Now she sounded as confused as I felt. "I think."

Considering that no one had interrupted us with a bitchy retort yet, it was a safe bet that Santana wasn't with her. Good, she would be more likely to reveal whatever sick plan Coach Sylvester had come up with. "It's Kurt. Not Kurty, and certainly not Kurty-dolphin. Why in the world would you refer to me as a dolphin, anyway?"

"Because you're like a shark, all ferocious and chompy when people make you mad!" She was pleased with herself, I could tell.

Again, talking to Finn never brought on this amount of headache. "What do sharks have to do with dolphins?"

"Aren't dolphins gay sharks? You know, they're all grey and have flippers and tails and live in the ocean. They're just smaller and all delicate and smooth."

Now was not the time to debate the classification of oceanic fauna. "Ok, dolphins are gay sharks, sure. Why did you text me?"

"Oh, because I wasn't sure what two men having sex had to do with chicks bowing. I didn't even know that you had chicks. Did you let them watch?"

"No chicks, Brit. It's kind of complicated. But did you text me the first time, or did Santana?"

"'Tana did, but she's not here now. She was sure that you and Finn were going to fuck today, so she wanted to send you a congratulations. Also, Coach Sylvester said to keep an eye on you."

"Why would she say that?" I tried to sound completely disinterested. "I thought it was Finn that she hated."

"She hates everyone. But I don't think she really hates Finn. Actually, I don't think she cares about him at all, except when she can use him to bug Mr. Shue. But she said to watch you, because you mouthed off to her, and there's a better use for that pretty little mouth then fighting with her. So we said we would watch you and tell her what you were up to."

I couldn't imagine anything that I had said to Coach Sylvester that might constitute 'mouthing off'. All I had said to her the other day was that I was Finn's ride home, and it had been a heroic struggle to even get that out. Maybe she was just so used to no one being able to speak in her presence that she read that as defiant?

"Did you tell her about Finn and I having sex?" There was no sense in beating around the bush here. She knew about Finn and I already, so playing coy would do nothing but take too much time and end up confusing Brittany.

"Not yet. She said to call her, but I lost my phone so I thought I would just tell her tomorrow."

"If you lost your phone, what are you talking to me on?" Normally I don't like engaging her, but I was so confused.

There was a brief pause, then an earsplitting scream. "You found it! Thank you, Kurty-dolphin!"

Guilt gnawed at my stomach, but not hard enough to prevent me from making my next move. "Brit? Since I found your phone for you, I think you owe me a favor. Don't you agree?"

"Oh, sure! Anything for my sweet fishy. Normally I would let you feel up my boobs, but I don't think you would want that. Do you want me to pull Puck's pants down in Glee tomorrow? He doesn't wear underwear."

Kind of.

"No! I mean, maybe another time. What I want you to do for me is not tell Coach Sylvester about Finn and I. Do you think you can do that? Possibly convince Santana to do that as well? After all, you would have a really hard time without your phone, right?"

"I would. I'll tell Santana that it didn't happen. Our secret, little fishy, pinky swear. We'll be like sea creature secret spies!"

The guilt came back. Tricking Brittany was kind of like tricking Finn. It was stupidly easy to fool them both, because they were both so incredibly trusting. It would never occur to either one of them that their friends might be pulling a fast one on them. You got me pregnant in a hot tub? Sure, Finn would believe that. Helped Brit find the cell phone that was already in her hand? She was grateful enough to grant me whatever favor I asked for. It was like stealing from a toddler who not only wouldn't complain, but, if you played it right, be grateful for being tricked.

But I had to protect both Finn and I here, and it wasn't like I was hurting Brittany to do so. Especially since it sounded like Coach Sylvester was coming after me personally. So I forced the guilt down. "Pinky promise, Brit. What sort of sea animal would you like me to call you?"

"A pussy willow." Her voice was dreamy. "They're so soft and fluffy and skinny."

I wasn't going to burst her bubble by telling her that not only was a pussy willow not a sea creature, but it wasn't an animal at all. Not to mention I didn't want the word 'pussy' to cross my lips in any form. "How about just willow? They're every bit as slender and graceful as you are."

"Willow works. So I'll tell Santana that Finn chickened out because it was too gay and wouldn't have sex with you." There was a pause. "Um…I might have already told her that the two of you were getting all humpy together. Is that ok?"

I hurried to comfort her. "Of course it is."

Actually, her excuse was pretty good. If she just said that we didn't do it, it would look suspicious. But to blame Finn for having a heterosexual freak out when it came to actual penetration? Maybe Brit wasn't as stupid as she appeared.

I'm not sure why that though surprised me, since Finn wasn't as stupid as he appeared either. Maybe it was because Finn knew that he had trouble, and always sounded unsure when he spoke, where Brittany was always sure that she was right, even when she was as wrong as could be. It made her seem dumber then him, like one of those little yappy dogs.

My face was starting to itch as the mask not only dried but began to flake off. "Look, Brit, I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"You said you'd call me Willow! But goodnight dolphin. I love you."

That was both her and Finn's saving grace. They were generous with their affections, never stopping to think whether or not the person they were getting close to deserved the love. "Love you, too."

It wasn't a lie. I did love Brittany, just like I loved the rest of the Glee club. Yes, even Rachel. Only some of the time, and I would submit to being dressed by Finn before I admitted it out loud, but I guessed it was true.

I hung up and returned to the bathroom, washing off the mask. Once I had patted (rubbing stretches out the skin and can lead to wrinkles down the road) my face dry, I stopped and stared at myself in the mirror, searching for any sign of being different. When I had showered this morning, I was still a virgin. Now I wasn't, but I still looked the same. With as much fuss as society (not to mention Dad) made about having sex in general and losing your virginity in particular, I expected to glow. Or possibly have grown 4 or 5 inches.

I would give up on the growth spurt. If it hasn't happened by now, it's probably not going to happen. Anyway, the change isn't something you can see in a mirror. It's inside of you, and you probably won't see it right away yourself. But it's obvious to anyone who really knows you.

Luckily, the list of people who really knew me was pretty short. Dad, Finn, Mercedes, Tina….I guessed that was it. Carole was rapidly figuring me out, but I hadn't known her long enough for her to be completely sure of me. I wasn't sure if the extremely short list was something to be sad about or not. After all, this time last year there hadn't been anyone on it but me. And maybe four people were plenty.

Yep.