IM SO SORRY I LIED. I TOOK FOREVER TO UPDATE! Anyways...

HEY HEY HEY! GUESS WHO'S BACK? Yup. It's meeee. Anywho, After an interesting game of Truth or Dare, out heroes (well, I call them heroes...) are about to get an unpleasant surprise... The Master.

Yes! For all of you out there who want more then a tiny scene at the end with The Master, you get your wish.

I WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR: The Doc, as Jack so lovingly calls him, is still in his Ninth incarnation. Big ears, leather jacket, says 'fantastic' a lot. Yeah him. And this Master is the Simm Master.

How is that possible? You question questioningly. Cause of unspecified reasons.

You'll know soon enough, just be patient~

ALSO! Some one in this chappie will be speaking Spanish, (and Italian) and as I used a Babel Fish to translate, I cannot say if it will be accurate or not...

With that over with, now for some shout outs!

TO MY READERS IN: INDIA! SWEDEN! and ROMANIA! (What's up, yo?)

AN UPDATE ON OUR HEROES:

JACK HAS (already) FLIRTED WITH EVERYONE (at least twice), THE DOCTOR KICKED A WALL (probably in frustration... Weeelllll, I say probably), DONNA SLAPPED HIM AGAIN (Jack applauded), AND EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE ROSE BROKE THE FORTH WALL.

(Donna POV)

After the fire fighter left, Donna's mood went down hill fast. Like, really fast. Fast as a train fast. Faster then the Ninth and Tenth Doctors would race for bananas fast. THAT fast.

"I can't believe this!" She shouted to no one in particular.

The Doctor was once again messing with his sonic screwdriver, but once again, nothing was happening. Donna mumbled about elephants to herself and scowled at every one but Rose.

Suddenly...

"BZZZT. hola? funciona esta cosa?(1) BZZZT." A gravely and high pitched voice called out. Donna and the others leaped to their feet with the exception of the handsome captain, who was already standing.

Wait... Was that Spanish? Donna wondered.

"¡Mierda! qué demonios? esto no es Inglés!(2)" the voice called out again. Donna looked at the others. Rose looked bewildered, Jack confused, and The Doctor...

Why does he look like that?

The man in question had a confused and thoughtful expression on his face. Maybe he could understand Spanish?

"joder joder joder! Caan! No funciona! hazlo funcionar!(3)" came the voice again. This time, a fainter distinctly different voice could be heard.

"Me parece que no puede averiguar lo que está mal, maestro.(4)" the other voice said in the background.

Donna was still looking at The Doctor. When the second voice spoke The Doctor's eyes widened with recognition but then he shook his head disbelievingly.

"¿Has probado poniéndolo a wumbo?(5)" The original voice asked.

"Voy a hacer eso ahora, pero no creo que va a funcionar.(6)" the second voice responded. Donna shook her head. Were these guys firefighters? Did they decide that the Teletubbies wasn't that important?

"ok, è fatta, il Maestro.(7*)" the quieter voice said. Jack perked up.

"I understood that. That was poorly translated Italian." He said.

"Why do you understand poorly translated Italian?" Rose questioned him. Jack shrugged.

"You never know when it's useful to know poorly translated Italian. Like now, for instance." He said. Donna had to submit to that logic.

"eh !? cosa uguale su ogni ANCORA NON INGLESE CAAN!(8)" the first voice screeched. Donna winced.

"What's he saying, Jack?" She asked. Jack frowned.

"He's mad because he's not speaking in English." He said. Donna frowned.

"How does he not know he's speaking Italian? (Poorly translated! Rose threw out.) Can't he just switch to English?" She said flatly. Jack shrugged.

"Probably a nut job." He said.

"oh mio dio! Non riesco nemmeno a capire me stesso! è rovinando il mio ingresso impressionante!(9)" The voice cried.

"tecnicamente, Maestro, non ci sono.(10)" the other one giggled.

"NON GET SMART CON ME DALEK.(11)" The first shouted angrily.

"I feel like I'm in the middle of a soap opera." Rose said smiling. Donna just frowned. She was officially done with everyone's shit. From the fire fighters, to the doctor being an alien, Jack being... Jack, Teletubbies, and the two idiots on the intercom... She just wanted to go home. A loud thump was heard as some one kicked something, presumably whatever was translating.

"perché non sarà questo lavoro! ... Sai cosa? Ho finito. Ho finito. fatto, fatto, fatto.(12)" the was a sound of someone getting up and stomping away.

There were a few tense moments of silence before suddenly the trapped ones heard things crashing, exploding, someone screaming unintelligibly in Italian, birds squawking, meniacal laughter, wolves howling, someone screaming PORQUE over and over again, (how did that work anyways, weren't they speaking in Italian now?) a loud boom followed by crying, and opera singing? Donna decided she really didn't want to know.

"ouch! hai avuto a pugni me così difficile?(13)"

"Sono sicuro che non ho idea di cosa tu stia parlando. Io non ho nemmeno le mani.(14)"

"Mah. abbiamo intenzione di risolvere questa cosa o no? perché io non voglio farlo con un Dalek intelligente ass.(15)"

"sì. cerchiamo di fissare la cosa! il medico non piacerà affatto! è probabilmente una buona cosa che non si può parlare male tradotto italiana, altrimenti aveva di già capito chi siamo.(16)" the second voice cheered.

Donna looked over at Jack who was frowning suspiciously in The Doctor's general direction.

"Doc, the voices say that if they weren't speaking in Italian right now, that you'd know who they are." He said. The Doctor frowned.

"I might. Hate to say it, and it isn't all that fantastic, but I've made enemies over the years." He said.

"Ora maestro, premere il tasto blu, seguito dal ripcord verde.(17)" The second voice said.

"oh! Vedo! se faccio che in combinazione con lanciare questi interruttori ...(18)" the first trailed off.

"poi la luce gialla dovrebbe lampeggiare due volte prima di spegnere!(19)" the second one said in its unearthly cackle.

"Ok, the yellow light is off-" the voice began, (in English this time) only to be interrupted by the other one.

"And the pink one is flashing?"

"Yes! I said already!"

"No you didn't."

"Oh shut up!"

"..."

"*sighs* ok continue..."

"And Mermaid Man's belt is set to wumbo?"

"Duh!"

"Then they should be able to understand us now."

"... DAMMIT CAAN, NOW YOU'VE MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT."

"You do that all on your own Master." The second voice said patronizingly. Jack giggled. Only then did Donna notice that he was still wearing The Doctor's jacket.

"Um... Hello? Caan and 'Master'? Who exactly are you?" Rose called up to the ceiling. There was a pregnant pause before...

"I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED! I am your LORD AND MASTER, THE MASTER." The original, ten times more annoying voice shouted. Evidently, Donna mused, he didn't know you weren't supposed to scream into a microphone. Also, pretentious much?

The Doctor fainted, but no one was paying him any attention. 'The Master' was giggling insanely on the other end of the mic.

"And I'm Dalek Caan." Said the other voice, also giggling, as if in on some big joke.

"AND WE TRAPPED YOU HERE~~~" They sang together.

Donna, Rose and Jack all stared at each other for what felt like six elevanths of an eternity before all Hell broke loose.

I'm sorry this one isn't as long, I hope the humor makes up for it... ANYWAYS! Donna is so done, isn't she? Oh well! I wanna shout out to all of my reviewers ever so THANKS A MILLION YOU GUYS!

TRANSLATIONS:

1) "hello? is this thing working?"

2)"Shit! what the hell? this isnt English!"

3)"dammit dammit DAMMIT! Caan! It's not working! make it work!"

4)"I can't seem to find out what's wrong, Master."

5)"Have you tried setting it to Wumbo?"

6)"I'll do that now, but it don't think it will work."

ITALIAN SWITCHAROO~

7)"ok, it's done, Master."

8)"eh!? what even- STILL NOT ENGLISH CAAN!"

9)"oh my god! I can't even understand myself! it's ruining my awesome entrance!"

10)"technically, Master, you aren't there."

11)"DONT GET SMART WITH ME DALEK."

12)"why won't this WORK! ...you know what? I'm done. I'm done. done, done, done."

13)"ouch! did you have to punch me so hard?"

14)"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't even have hands."

15)"hmph. are we going to fix this thing or not? cause I don't want to do it with a smart ass Dalek."

16)"yeah. let's fix the thing! the doctor won't like that at all! it's probably a good thing he can't speak poorly translated Italian, otherwise he'd of already figured out who we are."

17)"Now master, press the blue button, followed by the green ripcord."

18)"oh! I see! if I do that combined with flipping these switches..."

19)"then the yellow light should blink twice before turning off!"

NOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND 78% OF THE HUMOR IN THAT CHAPPIE, LETS TALK. I wanna hear from you guys. Drop a review, even if you have to do it anonymously. It really does make my day.

IN OTHER NEWS: Go to Medieval Times. I went with the Band and Orch, and I lost my voice I was screaming so loudly. It's hella fun.

TO .Companion.007, I love you. You've read and reviewed two of my works, so I thought I'd give you a special shout out. Ta! (See what I did there? :D )

IM OUT! SEE YOU NEXT TIME, AND I ONCE AGAIN APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAIT.

THERE IS A POLL ON MY PROFILE, COOKIES FOR ALL WHO VOTE!