OH MY FLYING FISH FROM FLIPPING FRANCE. IM LATE AGAIN. At least I have a reason this time. I live in good ole Oklahoma and its STORM season. We get some huge ass tornadoes, so I've been a little preoccupied. I'm also a beta now, so that's happening. As a bonus: FINALS! So shit on a spider and call me a cooking pot, but at least I have legit reasons this time.

BUT YOU DONT WANNA HEAR 'BOUT THAT. You want the story. FAIR WARNING, depending on my mood when I write this, this could be the last chappie on this story. OH NOES! You exclaim! It's ok though, I'm working on a new story... Thanks to everyone who did the poll, it's still open guys! Three more days!

^^^ this of course, was the note I was going to send out two and a half months ago. I AM SO SO SO sorry. I had reasons, but now I have no excuse. Hopefully this EXTRA LONG chappie makes up for it.

Again, sincerest apologies.

NOW, SHOUTOUTS: To my readers in RUSSIA! NORWAY! & HUNGARY!

And now: DRAMA ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND.

"And we trapped you here!~~~" The Master and Caan giggled.

Steam came out of Donna's nostrils as she ground her teeth. Rose, Jack, and the Doctor backed up. Angry Donna = painful death after all. In fact, angry Donna was worse than painful death. So. Much. Worse.

"You fools trapped me here!?" She shouted. (Us! Rose whispered to The Doctor.) the was a moment of silence while the two dastardly villains contemplated their responce. Soon:

"Yeah, it was us. So... HAH." The Master eventually shouted. Rose watched as Donna clenched her fists together. She was so angry, Rose wouldn't be surprised if she turned green and hulked out then and there.

"WHY YOU-HOW EVEN DARE YOU YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER NIMRODS-I OUGHTA COME UP THERE OR DOWN THERE OR WHERE EVER THE HELL YOU ARE AND GIVE YOU THE WHAT FOR-HOW DARE YOU TRAP DONNA FREAKING NOBLE IN AN ELEVATOR WITH AN IDIOT AN ALIEN AND SOME OTHER THIRD PERSON!" (Me!) Rose said quietly.

Jack was clapping at this point, but how could he not? That was one impressive rant.

The Doctor looked to be on the verge of fainting again, be it the fact that his most favorite enemy was acting like a child on a sugar high or the fact that Donna may have used all the air in the elevator.

Rose had a stomach ache, but no one cared.

"Wow." The Master squeaked.

"Wow." Everyone else including Dalek Caan squeaked back.

"Umm... Anyways, the umm... The uh- the firefighters should be back soon, so yeah I'm just gonna- I'm gonna go." The Master said, thinking that maybe he should skedaddle before the angry redhead inflicted bodily harm upon his person. The Doctor heard someone, presumably The Master getting off of what was likely a swivel chair and backing away from the live feed of all of the people in the elevator.

"OH NO YOU DONT." Donna shrieked, magically pulling her hand out of the elevator, grabbing The Master's favorite hoodie and actually pulling him into the elevator.

Wait... WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA?! Thought literally everyone ever including all of you people creepily reading about the worst day of Donna's (and possibly Jack's) life.

"Eep! What the-!" The Master shouted confused. Donna was staring at her hand curiously.

"Ok... Who wants to tell me what just happened..." Jack began

"And who the hell is that?" He finished, pointing to everyone's favorite maniac. The Master, who, btw, still looked a little confused, jumped to his feet.

"Ok, who did that? (An why do I think it's the redhead?)" he yelled loudly, waving his hands around wildly.

Donna, who was now no longer looking at her hand (she had accepted the fact that this entire day had made no sense what so ever), stomped up to The Master.

"OK MISTER. I want some answers!" She yelled at him. (AN: it should be noted that Donna's face is almost touching The Master's own, she's so up in his biz.)

The Master frowned.

"AAAAAAAhhhhhhghggghgh. Why did this have to happen when I don't look nice!" He said. There was dead silence throughout the elevator. A small Dalek cough could be heard from the intercom.

"Wot." Rose said. The Master gestured to himself.

"Look. Usually when I meet people I dress to impress. No shabby suits for me, no sir-ee; but I didn't think I would be magically pulled into an elevator. That's just ridiculous." He said. Jack smiled.

"Well, I may not like this guy, but I like him!" He extended a hand. "Hello there, cap'n Jack Harkness." He said, flashing a brilliant smile that could make a grown man fall apart into feels. Unfortunately for him, The Master wasn't exactly human.

"Stop it." The Doctor said. Jack groaned dramatically, but did stop. The Master's eyes widened and he spun on his heel to face The Doctor.

"Why, hello there Doctor." He drawled. The Doctor frowned, and crossed his arms, still quite uncomfortable in Jack's jacket.

"You're supposed to be dead. I saw you die." He said. Everyone who wasn't an alien glanced over at eachother. The Master leg out a short laugh.

"I've died plenty of times, how was that any different?" He said with a smirk. The Doctor simply threw up his hands in exasperation.

"Why is it every time I meet you you get even crazier?" He asked. The Master just wiggled his eyebrows.

"I've always been this crazy." He said. The Doctor sighed.

"What was to point of all of this, then?" He asked. The Master giggled and spun around, hand hitting Rose in the face. (Ow...)

"Does there have to be a point? Maybe I just wanted to mess with you all!" He said.

"You're an idiot." The Doctor continued, glancing at Rose to make sure that she was ok.

"You wound me Doctor dearest!" The Master pouted.

"And you trapped me in an elevator!" The Doctor shot back.

"sHUT Up." Donna said, scaring both 900+ year old aliens.

"We have a bigger problem. We all know we're stuck until the firefighter's telletubby marathon is over, so that leads to the big question: where the hELL is he going to sit!" Donna asked crossing her arms.

Everyone froze. There were only four walls and four corners and no one wanted to share their space.

"One two three nOTmE." Rose shouted touching her nose. Donna and Jack's fingers rushed up and hit their own noses quicker then Zorro can cut Zs into people's shirts.

The Doctor, slow on the uptake, looked at the three humans.

"What are you doing?" He asked. Jack shrugged.

"Looks like he's sitting with you, Doc." He said normally. The Doctor looked at everyone.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why me?" He asked growing even more confused. The Master rolled his eyes.

"You didn't touch your nose... Idiot." He said, muttering the last part.

"Oi! I am not an idiot!" The Doctor proclaimed loudly. (Not as loudly as Donna would, but, gee wiz, can anyone even come close to her?)

"Coulda fooled me." The Master said.

"Well at least I didn't design an elevator trap with no escape even for the one who created it!" The Doctor said smugly. The Master frowned and Jack whispered softly:

"Ooooo. Burn." Rose giggled at him.

"Ok! Ok! Everybody shut up." Donna said, breaking the two men apart.

"You." She said pointing at The Master, "are sitting with the Doc, and You." She directed at Nine, "are not going to complain." She finished with a nod.

"Fine." The Doctor said childishly as The Master sauntered over and took a seat in the corner.

After that was settled, silence once again settled upon the group.

"So…" The Master said, breaking the silence.

"Im bored." he continued.

"Lets play a game." he finished. Jack nodded his head in agreement. it did get pretty boring, all this waiting and no fun.

"I suggest a game." Rose said, a scary smirk on her not-so-scary face. The corner where she sat suddenly looked darker and so much more terrifying.

Donna gulped. Rose could be really scary sometimes.

"This game… is known as… paranoia." Rose continued, a mad glint in her otherwise not very crazy eyes.

Jack, apparently not able to read the atmosphere, smiled a smile so bright, it knocked twenty seven birds out of the sky and dissipated the dark aura surrounding everyones favorite pink and yellow human.

"Sounds like fun." he said. Rose smiled.

"you have no idea. Basically, you whisper a question to the person on your right and they have to respond with the name of someone playing the game. The catch is that only the people who asked and answered it know the question. then, you toss a shoe in the air, and if it lands face up, you have to say the question out loud." Rose said.

Donna smirked.

"Let's play." she said. Rose grinned and the game began.

-The Chapter was going to end here, but you all deserve more-

Captain Jack Harkness watched anxiously as Rose leaned over and whispered something to Donna. Donna frowned a bit, and the said:

"Jack." Jack looked up. what had Rose asked? Why him? was it a question of who was the hottest? most attractive? coolest?

Donna threw the shoe. it landed face down. Damn. now he'd never know. and it sure didn't help that Donna looked relived and Rose looked disgruntled.

Donna leaned toward him.

"Oi. You. If you had to choose, who in here has the worst fashion sense?" she asked him. Jack smirked. he was still wearing The Doctor's jacket, and it, while comfortable, was not to attractive.

"The Doctor." He said. The Doctor jumped and tried to ascertain what had been asked.

Jack picked up Donna's shoe, a classy leopard printed flat with a tiny bow, and tossed it. He could see The Doctor staring at it. The shoe flew through the air like a flightless bird, and fell to the ground with a satisfying plop. Damn. Face up.

"The question was: who has the least amount of fashion sense?" Jack said. what happened next no one expected. The Master started cracking up and The Doctor looked embarrassed.

"Oh! They've got you pegged Doc! And this isn't even your worst choice!" The Master choked.

"Now, don't you star." The Doctor growled.

"You're not even wearing the celery! or the 18 foot scarf!" He continued. Jack rose an eyebrow. 18 foot scarf? Celery? What the hell.

"OK. MOVing oN." The Doctor said kicking The Master in the shins.

"Jack! I believe it's your turn!" He said somewhat desperately. Jack shrugged. well, ok then. He leaned toward The Master.

"If you could shave the hair off of someone here, who would it be?" he asked. The Master smiled a toothy smile.

"Why, you of course!" he said. Jack's jaw dropped.

"Wow, rude!" He said. The Master laughed and threw the shoe. It landed face up. Jack scowled.

"He asked me who's head I'd rather shave." he said. Donna grinned.

"I may hate your guts, but I'd have to agree." She said.

"I second that." Rose said. Jack frowned and threw his arms up to the elevator ceiling dramatically.

"Is this whole world against me?!" he shouted.

"Yes." everyone said. Jack scowled.

"I don't think i want to play this game anymore." He said, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. The only problem was the fact that both of his arms went in to.

"WHAT THE HELL." He said loudly, head on the floor, only his shoulders visible. Donna and Rose both looked at The Doctor suspiciously. He paled.

"Oh yeah. Forgot to tell you, the pockets are bigger on the inside." He said.

"What does that even mean!" Jack said, pulling both of his arms out of the pockets. The Master and The Doctor just looked at each other, having a silent argument. Finally, an agreement seemed to be reached.

"You wouldn't understand, even if we told you." The Master proclaimed with a shrug. Jack frowned, but didn't say anything.

Silence (once again, Cheesus Crust), fell upon the group. Rose looked deep in thought.

"Say… How deep do those pockets go? What's in them?" She asked. The Doctor shrugged.

"Infinite, I think." he said.

Jack put his hands back into them. Then, he began to pull things out.

A yoyo, a paperclip & a piece of string, a signed poster of Freddie Mercury, three bananas (Oh! I forgot those were in there! yum), a bag of marbles, several hats, something no one, not even The Doctor, could identify; a coconut, and a rubber duck.

This time, a shocked silence enveloped the elevator. it was broken by Rose, who leaped to her feet and grabbed the poster, and putting it into her corner of the elevator.

"ITS MINE!" She yelled at The Doctor. He rose his hands in mock surrender.

"Ok, sure." He said.

"Was that all that was in there?" Donna asked. Jack shook his head.

"Not even close." He said.

"There was a mess of fabric at one point." He said.

"Well, pull it out!" Donna said. Rose and The Master snickered, Jack smirked, and Donna looked mortified.

"As you wish, my lady." Jack said with a flourish, arm once again in the pocket. Then, his eyes brightened.

"Got it." He said. Then he hoisted a giant scarf out of the pocket. The Master began to laugh, and The Doctor buried his head in his hands.

"You kept that scarf in your pockets?" He guffawed. The Doctor frowned.

"How long is this thing, anyway?" Jack asked, as he continued to look for an end of the scarf. By now, a pile had formed on the ground. The Master looked over at The Doctor.

"Has that thing… grown?" He asked. The Doctor shrugged.

"Probably." He said. Jack, meanwhile, still had not reached the end.

"How long is this thing!" He exclaimed. The Doctor put his finger on his lower lip in thought.

"Anywhere between fifty and sixty meters." He said.

"WHAT!" The group shouted.

"Thats long enough to get out of here!" Donna exclaimed. Everyone looked at each other.

"She's right." Jack said, with a smile that brought twenty grown men to their knees for no reason, and made a dolphin leap thirty feet into the air.

Jack finally reached the end of the scarf. Holding it above his head, he shouted:

"The EEEENNNNNND!" Donna frowned.

"Well get up on that roof and lets finish this!" She said. Jack nodded and hoisted himself up onto the elevator roof, tying the scarf to the cables.

"All set!" He called down. Donna grinned.

"Hey guys, before we do this, can I have all of your numbers? I want to keep in touch." Rose asked. Jack stuck his head through the opening at the top of the elevator.

"Sure, mines 036-SEXY" He said. everyone stared at him.

"It is not." Donna said finally. Jack pouted.

"It is too. I paid extra for it. (Why does no one ever believe me?)" He said. Donna just groaned.

"Only you would pay money so that your phone number would have 'sexy' in it." she said scathingly. Jack just smiled.

"Well, my number is 338-0998" Donna said, hand on hips. Rose nodded and wrote both numbers down. She looked expectantly at the two aliens.

"Don't have a phone, well, not one that works anyways." The Doctor said. The Master scoffed.

"His number is 1800-THE-DOCTOR" He said. Donna and Jack shared a meaningful look.

"Its worse then yours."

"I am defeated." They said at the same time. The Doctor just pouted.

"Yeah, well, at least my number isn't VOTE-SAXON" He said. Donna just stared at The Master incredulously.

"Why would your number be vote Sax- Oh my god." She said, staring at The Master in a new light.

"You're Harold Saxon. The Prime Minister." She said. He grinned.

"Fun times." He said simply. The Doctor (who is still in his 9th incarnation, mind you), stared at him.

"There won't be a Harold Saxon as Prime Minister until the year 10,009. And he most certainly isn't human." He said.

"One, that hasn't happened yet, two, where have you been for the past year? Saxon won by a land slide (I voted for him)." Donna said. Rose looked at The Doctor.

"I… I thought Harriet Jones was Prime Minister?" Rose asked. The Doctor nodded.

"Same here." He said. Donna and Jack stared at him.

"She hasn't been in two years, Saxon is." Donna said. The Master rose his hand mockingly.

"Um… No I'm not. I haven't been the Prime Minister in quite a while. Your last incarnation made sure of that Doctor." He said bitterly to The Doctor.

The Doctor stared at him.

"The last time i saw you, you were into shades and trench coats?" He said, more like a question then as an answer. The Master shivered.

"Lets not talk about those times." He said. Jack looked around at everyone.

"Ok. Lets all just answer this: What year is it?" he asked, eyeing the group.

"2005." said Rose.

"2008." said Donna.

"2010." said The Master.

"2005." said The Doctor.

"… 2009." said Jack.

Everyone paled, including The Master. This wasn't part of the plan.

Rose and The Doctor, who had said the same year, looked at each other, while Donna and Jack looked at everyone. The Master was looking at a spot on his shoe.

"What is going on?" Rose asked fearfully.

"I don't know." The Doctor replied.

GREAT GOOGLIY MOGGILY. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT try to call any of the phone numbers mentioned in this chapter! Thank you!

ALSO! 68% of this chapter was written in two days, SO THE NEXT UPDATE WILL NOT TAKE TWO MONTHS. (sorry about that, I really am.

SO THE MASTER HAS JOINED OUR QUARTET! how lovely. Really though, he's such a fun character to write! AND WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS? why are our heroes out of time? what is going on?

Hey, to be honest, I'd like to know that too.

THANK YOU to my reviewers! It means a lot guys!

HEY GUYS, I THINK THIS STORY IS GOING TO BE LONGER THEN WHAT WAS PLANNED, WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

POLL ON PROFILE