A/N: I'm getting this chapter up a little early, since it was done and I probably won't be able to post next week. I love Finn's POV, because I like being inside of his head. I think that there's a lot more happening there then he gets credit for.
Can I get someone to make me a banner/little icon thingy that goes the corner of the fic (that new thing. It might be an avatar. Why yes, I do know nothing about computers, how did you guess? ). Anyone willing to do it can have an interlude in this story or If Bullfrogs had Wings of their choice….
Finn POV
Mom was pissed. Good, she could be pissed all she wanted. I was pissed, too. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared out the windshield, counting the number of times the wipers did their thing. She was waiting for me to explode, and I wasn't going to give her the pleasure of speaking first. It was a trick I learned from Kurt and this was the first chance I had gotten to use it. I can't use it with him because, duh, he's better at it then I am.
For once, something actually worked for me. Mom kept shooting pissy looks at me, and I kept staring straight ahead. Maybe we would just go home and this whole thing would be over before it started.
No such luck. We were in the driveway before she put the car in park and looked straight at me. "I'm very disappointed in your behavior today, Finn."
Ouch. I would rather be screamed at, or slushied, or even beat up then hear that I had disappointed my Mom. My mind spun. What would Kurt do in this situation?
Why are you worried about what Kurt would do? You aren't Kurt. You're Finn, and you need to react like Finn would.
Except the way I wanted to react involved screaming and kicking things and I was trying to hard not to act like that any more. I need to start acting like an adult, because I almost am one. So I gave her a shrug. "I don't care." I didn't make it as far as sarcastic, which meant I just sounded tired. I didn't make eye contact, didn't beg for forgiveness, didn't let her know how much this was tearing me up inside. It was how Kurt would have done it.
It's kind of weird how Kurt never told me how bad acting like a bitch makes you feel inside. If this is how he feels every time he says something like that, I don't get how he puts up with it.
"I'm sorry to hear that, because I care very, very, much. I raised you to have some manners, and you were very rude to Burt tonight."
And you were very rude to try and replace Dad with Kurt's Dad. I had to find my own boyfriend, and you can do the same thing. Quit picking through Kurt's family. For once, the nasty words were my own, not Quinn-voices. But I knew better then to say them out loud. I shrugged again. "I don't like him."
"Even if that's true, and I don't think that it is, it doesn't matter. He was an adult and my date, and those reasons mean that you should at least treat him with respect." She was getting sarcastic with me, which always made me want to cry. She's my Mom, and she shouldn't talk to me that way. Yes, I'll admit it. My feelings were hurt, just like a little girls.
Kurt wouldn't have backed down but I couldn't help it. I was just tired. I had been picked on today, and found out that Kurt was in cahoots with Coach Sylvester, and then I had to take all these stupid tests and why didn't anyone ask if I wanted to go out tonight? I could have just stayed home and eaten Spaghetti-Os, while the rest of them went out. So what if I wasn't allowed to use the stove to cook them? I didn't mind eating them cold. Then I could have just laid down and hoped that tomorrow wouldn't suck so much donkey dick. I tried to hide it, but I knew that Mom could totally tell.
She rubbed my shoulder. "Come inside and let's talk."
Even though she made it sound like she was, she wasn't really asking me. I nodded, because I was afraid that I would start sobbing if I opened my mouth. So I forced myself to get up and go sit on the couch, which was where I usually sat when we had our talks. It was a good way to judge just how pissed off she was at me. If it was just a little, she would sit down next to me. If it was a lot, she would sit in Dad's chair.
She picked the couch, which just made me start crying harder for some stupid ass reason. "Tell me what's wrong. And don't blame this all on Burt, because we both know that he isn't the main problem."
What was the main problem? "You're my Mom." I laid my head down on her shoulder, and, when she didn't try to stop me, slid down so I could put it in her lap. "I don't want you to be anything else."
She ran her fingers through my hair, the same way she had when I was little and was sick or sad. It felt good, and which made me feel bad that I was being such a jerk. But then I thought about the way she acted when she was with Burt, and I didn't feel bad anymore.
"Who else would I be?" She was confused, and I hated it. I'm just not good with words and I didn't know how to make her understand.
"I don't know. I don't like the way you act when you're with Burt. You don't act like my Mom."
She was quiet, so I sat up to look at her again. She looked….was it sad? Except it was more then that. It was sad, and frustrated, and pitying, and mad all at once. I'll bet that there's a name for that feeling, and someone like Kurt or Rachel would know what it was, but I didn't know. "So, you don't want me to have a life of my own. You think my identity should be nothing more then what it reflects from you."
That wasn't it, was it? "No. I mean, no, that's not what I meant. You can have your own life. You've always had your own life."
"No, I've had work. I don't have boyfriends; I barely have friends my own age. Instead, I had you, and that was it. When you're a young, single, mother, your life stops. I had Cub Scouts, and PTA, and doctors appointments. I didn't have a lot of time left over for adult pursuits."
That was something that I had always been afraid of. That she regretted marrying Dad, and, even worse, that she regretted having me. Even though she was 20 when she had me, that's still really young. Only four years from where I am now. I watch that stupid Teen Mom show on MTV when there's nothing better on and Kurt isn't around to make me watch Project Runway or some shit like that. Those girls are always crying and talking about how hard their lives were, and how they loved their babies, but wished they had waited longer to have them. Maybe Mom felt that way about me.
But if she waited, I wouldn't be me. After what happened with Quinn and the baby, when she tricked me into thinking that you can get pregnant in a hot tub, I thought that maybe I should give myself a little Sex ed, instead of waiting for someone else to explain it to me. So I know that the woman has all the eggs inside of her, but only one goes into her stomach at a time, which is where the sperm meets it and makes a baby. The egg has half on your genes, which are the things that make you left handed, give you blond hair or make you tall. If Dad didn't get Mom pregnant when he did, it wouldn't be the same egg, so I wouldn't be me any more. I would be some other guy, and maybe my name wouldn't even be Finn. Maybe it would be Andy, like Mom originally wanted.
I wanted to ask her that, but my mouth wouldn't move. On top of everything else, Mom wished she hadn't had me. Then I got mad. I didn't ask her to screw Dad on a pinball machine, and I didn't ask to be born. If she didn't want to be a Mom, she should have just kept her legs together. I stood up and stalked over to the stairs, trying to keep my back straight. "Sorry I wrecked you life."
Her face fell, and I knew that she hadn't realized how what she said sounded. "Finn." She started to reach for me, but I wouldn't let her touch me. If she didn't want the not fun parts of having a kid, she didn't get to have the fun parts either. "Honey, that's not what I meant."
Maybe I do pay attention to what Kurt does after all, because I sounded just like him when I talked. "Really? You don't think that having me ruined your life so you had nothing to do but be a Den Mother and go the doctor? Because that's what it sounded like."
I was about to storm up the stairs when she put a hand on my back. "I know that's what it sounded like. And I'm sorry. I never, ever, want you to feel like I regret you, because I don't. You are, and have always been, the most important thing in the world to me."
I didn't want to feel better, but she was kinda making it ok. "But you wish you had waited to have me."
"Yes. I know you don't remember any of this, because you were so young, but it was hard for us at first. I had to apply for welfare, and food stamps, and there never seemed to be enough money. You were the most precious thing in the world, but I had to leave you at daycare, and have sitters so I could work. I wasn't there when you said 'flag', which was your first word. The daycare taught you all of your letters and numbers. I almost missed your first day of Kindergarten, because the boss wouldn't give me the time off."
I wanted to tell her that none of that mattered, especially since I still got a little confused with my sixes and nines sometimes, except I kind of got where she was coming from. I remembered the day she said that she wasn't going to be able to take me to school of the first time. I had told her that I didn't care, that Puck's Dad would take us, but I went upstairs and cried about it later. Mom never said anything about it, but we ate Ramen Noodles for like four days afterwards, so I'm pretty sure she just called in so she could take me. "I remember that."
"Never, ever, think that I regret having you. And also don't think that this temper tantrum of yours is getting you out of our talk. Come back and let's talk again."
Shit. I'm not good at staying angry, and now I had forgotten half of the reasons I was upset in the first place. Was it the tests? Kurt? Burt? Mom?
How about all of the above?
No, not really. It was about Mom and Burt. Well, maybe the tests, a little bit. Like a little tiny ameba bit. Why would Kurt be the problem?
Come on, Finn. There's stupidity, which you're great at without even trying, and then there's willful ignorance, which is what you're doing right now. Kurt isn't perfect, and you need to stop thinking that he is.
Ok, so I was a little pissed off with Kurt, too. I had kind of thought that he would ask how my tests went, since he's my boyfriend and it's his job to worry about me. Only he was too busy worrying about him. I feel kind of mean for making a huge deal out of my own stupid problems, but it still bothered me that he didn't even ask. I would have expected that from Quinn, but I thought that Kurt really loved me. But maybe not. Maybe he just likes having someone to screw. After all-
"Finn!" Mom was all loud and pissed off. "I need you to pay attention to me and quit daydreaming."
"Ok." Fighting with her was just going to make this worse, so I went back in the living room and sat down. "I'm sorry I talked back to you and I'm sorry I acted like a jerk at dinner and I'm sorry that I made you spend all day at the doctors so I could get tested. If you want, I'll call Mr. Hummel and tell him sorry, too. Can I go to bed now?"
"No." She didn't say it mean, though, so I knew that the worst of the fight was over. "You apology is appreciated, but that's not the main issue here. Calmly and slowly, tell me what the problem is."
I had already told her, but maybe I hadn't been clear enough. "I want you to be my Mom, not Burt Hummel's girlfriend. You have me to take care of and he has Kurt to take care of, and …" I stopped there, because that was exactly what I had said before. I just couldn't make her understand what I felt, because everything I tried out in my head made me sound like a jerk.
That may or may not be because you are acting like a jerk. Did you ever think of that? No, of course not, because you have trouble formulating even the most basic thoughts.
Mom was at least trying to understand. "I can't be both your mother and Burt's girlfriend?"
I guessed that it was possible, but not very likely. I shrugged. "I don't think so."
"You don't?" She was really surprised. "Why not?
See, my Mom is like the smartest person in the whole world sometimes, but sometimes she was kind of dumb, too. If she were me, she would get it. "Because it doesn't work that way in real life. Burt doesn't want me, just you."
"Did he say that? Because it looked to me like he was trying to find some common ground with you. He always asks about you when he and I go out, which says to me that he wants you, too."
"Of course he asks you. Boys will do anything to impress girls, and he knows that he has to ask about me to impress you. As soon as you let him move in here, he's not going to care about me anymore. It happens all the time over at Puck's." I knew that was a mistake as soon as her eyes narrowed.
"So if he ignores you, he doesn't want you around, and if he pays attention to you, he doesn't want you around. It doesn't seem to me that you're giving Burt much of a chance." She was doing that puffing thing with her lips that meant she was getting pissed again. "He's a good father, Finn, and I want you to give him a chance."
Except I didn't want to. Burt could be the best father in the world, like Santa and Jesus and Mr. Brady all rolled into one person, and that still wouldn't make him my father. Even if my Dad wasn't who I had thought he was, I still didn't want to replace him.
Plus, Kurt's Dad isn't always that great either. Don't get me wrong, Kurt never says anything bad about him or anything, but I'm not as stupid as people think I am. Kurt loves his Dad, or course. I think everyone loves their Dad, even if it's just a little bit. Probably even the kids of serial killers. But Kurt's kind of scared of his Dad, too. Not because Burt would ever hurt him, but because he's terrified of disappointing him. I mean, I kinda worry about disappointing Mom, too, but Kurt's really, really scared of it. Burt doesn't pay that much attention to his kid, so when he does, Kurt falls all over himself trying to do everything right. It shouldn't have to be that way, and I don't think that either one of them wants it that way, but they don't change it either.
Maybe I'm just saying this because he's my boyfriend and the most important person in the world to me (except for Mom, but that's totally different. Your Mom is a mom the one you get assigned to you, but you pick your boyfriend out yourself. It makes them special in a different way), but I think Burt should be the one to change things. He's the parent, and the parent is the one who gets stuck with the sucky jobs, because that's why they're the parents. I know that Burt tells Kurt that he'll always love him, no matter what, but he needs to show him, too.
But, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. After all, it's not like I'm a Dad. I thought I was going to be, but they took Drizzle away, just because she isn't really mine. No one really talks about it any more, like they think I'm so stupid that I'll just forget that I loved her and I thought she was mine.
Lucky for me, I've had these thoughts a bunch of time already, so I was able to revisit them in less then a second and still have plenty of time to answer Mom. "So what if he's a good father? He can be a good father to his own kid all he wants."
She stopped and looked at me for a long time. "Is this about Burt or about Kurt?"
"Burt" I wasn't 100% sure about that, but if I said anything about Kurt, she might use her Mommy Mind Meld on me, and figure out that Kurt and I were trying to break her and Burt up. She would be seriously pissed off. Like taking away my X-box and hiding my laptop pissed. "I don't want him to be my new Dad." Then, to my utter horror, I started to cry. "I don't want you to marry him and him to live here and use all of Dad's stuff. Then you'll have Kurt and he's smarter then I am and he's cute and he's like a girl and a boy at the same time, cuz he knows how to do all that cooking and fashion stuff you like, but he's still a dude, and I'll bet he remembers to turn his clothes out the right way before they go in the laundry! We already have a family, and I don't want a different one."
"Finn." Now she was crying, too, and it made me feel like slime. "Why didn't you tell me that you felt like this before?"
Mostly because I hadn't known that I felt like this until I was saying it. When I told Kurt that I would share Mom with him, I meant it, I promise I did. But I don't want to share him with her every single day. Maybe not even once a week. Every other weekend, tops. Just like Kurt was some kid that she had partial custody of. He was still kind of hers, but not like me. Because who wouldn't like Kurt better then me? Most days I like Kurt better then me. "Because I thought he would leave! They always left before!"
"Well Burt isn't leaving, so get that thought out of your head. I'm the mother here and you're the child and I will make the decisions for both of us. You're being very selfish right now."
No I wasn't! I just wanted her to put me first, instead of her shiny new boyfriend and his awesome, perfect, son. Was it really, really bad to want to be the most important thing in the world to her for just a little longer? I mean, a little more then two years and I would be gone anyway, and then her and Burt Hummel could do whatever they wanted.
Selfish: Adjective. Too much concerned with ones own welfare or interests and having little or no concern for others; self centered. I would say that you're being the very definition of the word.
Ouch. Quinn-voice's comment really hurt, which probably meant that it was true. And, if we're being like 150% honest, it's not the first time I've been accused of that, and not the first (or the 100th) that she's been right.
"Yeah, I know."
Sometimes this weird thing happens when I tell the truth like this. The other person just stops being mad, like all they ever wanted was to for someone to agree with them. Or maybe it's that they really wanted to keep fighting about it, but if you won't fight back, they don't know what to do. Because Mom lost her bitch look right away and started looking worried again. "You know that I don't love Kurt more then I love you."
"I know." Of course she didn't. Not yet, anyway. But people get new favorites all the time. First Quinn was my favorite, then Rachel, and now Kurt. And I liked Rach ways more then I liked Quinn, and Kurt more then both of them put together. So what would keep Mom from deciding she liked Burt and Kurt way better then me and Dad? If she married him, then they would all be Hummel's and I would be the only Hudson in the family. The reject kid. "But…." I didn't know how to explain what I needed to, or even exactly what I needed to explain was, so I just shut up and stared at her like some stupid baby who couldn't even talk yet.
Mom put an arm around my shoulders. "You're more to me then just a piece of your father, you know."
What did that have to do with anything? "Um, yes, I guess I know that."
"Well I want you to be sure. I love you because you're you, and that makes you perfect. Me dating Burt doesn't mean that I don't love you any more. It doesn't mean I like him better, or that I'll choose him over you. It also doesn't mean that I do, or ever will, love Kurt more then I love you. You were here first, and you've been here always. Besides, didn't you always want a brother?" Then she realized how that sounded and made a face. "That was a gross thing to say."
I smiled for the first time in like two hours. "Yeah. So you don't like Kurt more then you like me?"
"Absolutely not."
"Do….do you like Burt more then you liked Dad?" I'm still pretty sure that that's what this is all about, but not as sure as I was 15 minutes ago.
"It's not a matter of who I like or liked best. I was an entirely different person when I was with your father. Then I was a girl who had no responsibilities, no life experience, and no idea about the bigger world. Now I'm an adult, with a son that's almost an adult. I changed, and, had your father lived, he probably would have as well. But he didn't. He'll always be that boy I fell in love with, and the boy who gave me you. But I need to be with another adult now, one who understands what it's like to lose the person you married. I'm not going to make it into a contest, because it's not."
Sometimes even my own mother underestimates me. That's a real word, by the way, and it means she doesn't think I can figure things out. But I can. She's not answering the question, because both answers would be wrong. If she says she loves Burt more, it'll hurt my feelings. If she says she loved Dad more, then it's not fair to Burt and she thinks I might say something to him about it. So she just avoids the entire thing. That's something I can totally forgive, because I know what it's like to have all your choices suck. "Ok. Uh, do I have to call Burt and apologize to him?" I really hoped not, since I was still a little pissed off, even though it was wrong.
"It would be a nice touch, but I think you've been through enough for tonight. Why don't you go upstairs and get some sleep?" She kissed the side of my head. "I love you."
I loved her, too, but it was only 9:00. Even if things were a little blurry and I had to keep fighting off the urge to yawn, that didn't matter. It was what Kurt called the principle of the thing and I hadn't been sent to bed at 9 since I was 10 years old. "But-"
"Finn, please don't argue with me. It's been a long day for both of us, and you have Glee after school tomorrow so you can't sneak a nap in then. Go to bed!"
She just wanted to get rid of me. I knew it for sure, but I supposed that I should be grateful that she wasn't more pissed off then she was, or that she hadn't humiliated me by making me call Burt Hummel and apologize to him like I was a kid. Maybe I should just cut my losses and go to bed. "Ok."
Even though I was tired, my X-box was totally calling my name. I pretty much suck at most things, but I'm really good at video games, and an hour or so of blowing shit up might help take my mind off of everything else that had happened today. I could pretend that I was blowing up Coach Sylvester and Burt Hummel and everyone else who was pissing me off.
I was just about to blow up a terrorist cell when my bedroom door came flying open. "Finn, when I said go to bed, I didn't mean sit there and play games. I'm tired of having to drag you out of bed in the mornings."
I gave her my cutest smile. "I am in bed. Besides video games improve your hand eye coordination. It's almost like I'm at school!"
"Bed!" I think she secretly wanted to laugh, but she covered it up. "I mean it, mister."
"Ok." I laid down and waited patiently. Sure enough, she laughed a little and came in to tuck me in. She didn't usually do that any more, since it would be weird if any of the guys found out that my Mommy still tucked me in at night, but every once in a while was ok. Just so long as A) no one ever found out and 2) She didn't ever, ever do it for Kurt. She was my mother, mine, mine, mine. Not his Mom, and not Burt's wife. My mother only.
And there's that selfish asshole back again.
Yeah, I knew it, but I didn't care right now. I really do try to be nice and share things. I let Artie share my French fries, and Puck take some of my solos and Kurt probably has half of my really broken in shirts by now. Mike has had Black Ops for like a month now, and I haven't asked for it back. I even let Quinn have my old baby blanket, for the baby that didn't even turn out to be mine. Was it so terrible to want just this one thing to belong only to me?
Yes. Your mother is not a thing, Finn, she's a human being. She doesn't belong to anyone but herself. And I really did intend to give that blanket to the baby. It was a wonderful gift that came straight from the heart.
Whatever. You can just get the hell out of my head, stupid cheating Quinn-voice. I wanted to fight with her a little more, just to let her know who was the boss of my head, but I was too tired and fell asleep while I was thinking of the perfect comeback.
I had a horrible dream that Mom and Burt got married, so I pulled the fire alarm at the church while Kurt stole the wedding presents, dressed like the Grinch, and the Puck tried to hit on Kurt's aunt Mildrid. The fire alarm kept beeping and beeping-
Then I woke up and realized it was almost 11, and that beeping was my cell phone. I knocked it off my nightstand grabbing for it, then was barely able to hit the buttons. ""lo?"
Mom was downstairs out in the hall, pacing around and using her nice lady voice, which is the she uses when she's pretending to be all sweet and wonderful, but, deep down, she's pissed off big time. She kept saying something about 'just a little bit' and 'I can pay you back really soon' and other things that made my stomach feel like had ridden too many roller coasters at Cedar Point. I made my voice go really quiet.
"Hey, Cowboy." It was Kurt, and he didn't sound very happy.
Oh shit. I hadn't done what I was supposed to to make Mom and Burt break up. I had tried, at least a little bit, but then Mom got me all confused and now I wasn't sure if Mom and Burt were really the problem. But if I didn't even understand it myself, how could I possibly explain what we had talked about to Kurt? So I went with groveling instead. "Hey, Spider Monkey. I…uh…I didn't have time to do anything to break them up tonight, but I promise I'll try really hard tomorrow." Just as soon as I made a new plan of attack.
He huffed into the phone, but at least he didn't sound mad at me. "I don't care about that right now. I realized that I forgot to ask you about how your tests went. Did you do well?"
A couple of hours ago, I really wanted him to ask me that and my feelings had been super hurt that he hadn't. But now that he had, I didn't want to talk about it at all. This might be what Rachel means when she calls me fickle. I couldn't say that I wasn't a little happy that he had thought about me, though. "I don't know. I sat there forever, and she did all the same stupid crap that Ms. Pillsbury did, but no one gave me any answers! All she said was that she had to talk to all of the other doctors at the office and she would call me back!"
Kurt made those little owl noises, tiny, soothing sounds that made me feel a little better. "He didn't say anything? Not even a clue?"
"It was a chick doctor. And she said it looked like dyslexia, just like Ms. Pillsbury did. Then she said we should know for sure by Friday, but I'll bet that's bullshit." I must be even stupider then I thought, because I couldn't understand how two different people who both went to college and must be pretty smart, need that long to figure out what my problem was.
There were a lot of shuffling noises in the background, making me wonder what Kurt was doing. Hey, maybe he was taking his pants off! A little phone sex would make me feel so much better. "At least we're moving in the right direction. You know I love you, no matter what the tests say, right? You're you, and you'll always be you, and some diagnosis isn't going to change that."
So, no phone sex then. But I never get tired of hearing that he loves me, which still made me happy. Not a big sexy happy, but a little quiet happy. Like, if sex stuff with Kurt was a fire, this was more like a candle. A scented one, not just regular. "Ok. I love you, too."
"Do you need me to come over?" He probably didn't mean it all sexy, but the thought of him coming over in the middle of the night got my dick super hard. So what if I've only had sex one time? It was the most amazing thing ever, and I can't wait to do it again. Maybe this time I can be on top, which would rock.
Then Mom stomped by my door again, and realized I had my hand down my pajama bottoms. Guiltily, I yanked it out. "Nah. I'm going to bed now, and Mom is up and pacing around. She's calling people, and making that fake laugh, but she won't let me come sit with her or anything. She's about to hit the mega-bitch stage, and you don't want to be anywhere near her when that happens." Sucks, but maybe Kurt will put out of me on our date tomorrow, especially if I do a good job cooking for it.
"If you're sure…" I wanted to think that he had his own hand down his pants, but probably not. He's got weird issues with doing that, which I don't get at all. He wasn't going to go blind, he wouldn't grow hair on his palms and it would be so totally hot if I could convince him to do it in front of me.
But he didn't sound all sexy. He sounded half-sad and half-mad, and he only gets like that way for one reason. "Yeah. What's up with you?" I had to ask, because Kurt hates it when you just assume that you know what's wrong with him. Even when you're right every time.
"Nothing. Why?" He tried to cover it up, like I didn't know what was happening. Liar, liar, Kurt.
"You sound like you're sad, but you're doing that breathing thing you always do when you're pissy. Let me guess: it's your Dad." Saying that made me sound really smart, but Kurt usually only has two problems. His Dad or a big sale that he has to miss. Since he had spent all week chattering about the sales, that just left his father.
"Yeah. But I don't want to talk about it right now. Can I have a little while to work it out in my own head?"
I know how much it sucks to have people force you to try and talk about something when you aren't ready, so I didn't push it. "Sure. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" I was about to suggest my plan for sex when my bedroom door popped open and Mom was standing there, looking furious. "Hang up now." She pointed at the phone and if I didn't do what she said right now, I wasn't going to be seeing Kurt, or much of anything besides my bedroom for a week. I nodded at her and pretended to disconnect. She stomped off and I picked the phone back up to whisper my good-byes. . "And now it's the bitch stage. Love you, bye."
What in the world had crawled up Mom's ass? She bitches at me, she sends me to bed way too early, and now she won't even let me talk quietly with my own boyfriend. I would think that she's on her period, but don't chicks stop getting that when they turn, like, thirty?
First of all, it's a good think you're gay now, Finn, because you still don't have the slightest idea how a woman's body works. We don't go into menopause at thirty, you moron! And second of all, I'm pretty sure what has, as you so elegantly put it 'crawled up you mothers ass' is the fact that her son basically just accused her of not loving him and regretting having him. I've met your mother, Finn, and she loves you more then anything else. My mother would never stand up for me, no matter what happened. I don't think you realize how lucky you are.
I was lucky. And, apparently, I really was an asshole. It was just that I loved Mom, and I liked the way our family was right now. Just having her was enough for me, and I didn't like finding out that I wasn't enough for her.
But now you have Kurt. You need someone outside the relationship of you and your mother. What makes you think that she doesn't need the same thing? Or do you want to be that creepy guy who hangs out with his Mom all the time? Should I start calling you Jacob Ben Israel?
Ewwww! Ok, ok, I get it! Unless Burt Hummel turned out to be a total asshole, I had no right to try and keep him and Mom apart. If he did turn out to be a total asshole, I reserved the right to kick his ass. Well, I reserved the right to try and kick his ass, since I think he might be able to take me. Plus you shouldn't really hit old people. So, you win Mom and Quinn voice, I'll be a good boy and be nice to Mr. Hummel. I'll even call him Burt.
Now I just had to figure out how to tell Kurt that without him getting all pissed of at me. I love the guy, don't get me wrong, but sometimes he takes things way too personally.
Then again, he does kind of owe me one. I mean, I'm not the one who had to go and join Coach Sylvester's stupid old Cheerios, just so I could be all popular. Yeah, I know I told Kurt that it was fine, but it's not. For a guy who worries so much about everything, he doesn't worry at all when he really needs to.
I know he thinks that she isn't going to do anything to him, but he's wrong. Kurt's smart, but Coach Sylvester is smarter then him. I think she might be smarter then anyone.
And she's evil. Not just mean, but cruel. There's a big difference between them. See, you can be mean without meaning to. Like when my stupid big mouth runs off with me. But cruel is something else. Cruel is when you take the time to think about what you can do that will hurt the other person the most, and then you do it. Cruel is on purpose.
But it would also be cruel to tell Kurt that he can't be on the Cheerios just because the coach is psycho. I think he really, really wants this, and sometimes being in love means you suck it up and be supportive, even if you have to lie about it. He'll figure it out eventually, and I can be there for him when he does. At least Kurt hasn't drug me to absinance club yet.
Too late for that one.
Too late for you, too, bitch. I decided not to worry about what to tell Kurt right now, and think about dinner instead. It had taken almost a day, and a lot of help from Rach, but I think I have a good menu planned out. Who would think that she would actually be so much help? Ever since she got that new boyfriend, she doesn't seem mad at Kurt and me anymore.
Since he likes all of his stuff to be healthy, we're going to make baked chicken, and salad with that nasty dark lettuce and the vinegar dressing instead of ranch. It's actually pretty good. For dessert, she gave me a melting pot so we could make chocolate dipped fruit. I'm not telling Kurt this, but I can think of something I would much rather lick chocolate off of.
Just like that, I got all happy again. I hate feeling mad and helpless, so I try to make myself be cheerful, even when I don't really feel that way. If you do it long enough, eventually you get actually happy in the end. Plus, it's hard to be crabby when you have naked Kurt to think about. Oh, yeah, tomorrow was going to rock.