Sorry for the long delay, but RL has not been a friend. Hope y'all are still into the story and enjoy this happy Linseride time. Thank you for sticking with this one, all the kind words, and just being a great FF group of friends.
Days tumbled over forming weeks, and weeks piled on top of each other creating months. Time flying by, Erin taking the Severide name as if it was meant to be. It was.
The kids becoming official Severides a few months later with so little fanfare that Erin wondered if it had happened at all. She stared at the envelope for a few long minutes before opening it. The contents, a single sheet of paper, not hinting at the weight that it held.
Kayla and J.P. were theirs. Legally, not just in their hearts.
Gabby and Mills were on food duty for the big celebration that Shay was calling a "Severide Shower." The former lovers cementing their friendship once and for all, coming easier when the spiraling out of control Dawson/Casey marriage was called off. Matt was starting something more of what he'd always dreamed of with a cute kindergarten teacher. Their less than auspicious beginning, a one night stand originating in a bar, had blossomed into something he called "real." Kelly couldn't be happier for him. They'd announced a baby on board about the time Cally suspected she was pregnant.
The whirlwind continued as Shay and Holly proclaimed that they'd found a man who would be an "acceptable" donor of a needed Y chromosome. Holly would carry the baby. But as soon as that announcement came, a retraction followed. Shay would carry their baby, the couple saying simply they'd had a change of heart. Kelly was thrilled, acting like an overprotective big brother.
Everything was moving so fast, too fast for Erin's taste. Spiraling out of control could now be used to describe the huge shindig Shay was orchestrating at Molly's.
"You think we can just cancel the whole thing and have a quiet dinner at Joe's?" she asked Kelly one night as he brushed his teeth, only half joking.
"Hell, yeah," he sputtered, "if Casey called off a whole damn wedding, we sure as hell can call this party off." He gave his mouth a quick rinse before taking his wife in his arms.
"Whatever you want, Mrs. Severide," he reiterated, kissing her full on the mouth, loving the way his last name was a part of her. Forever.
But Erin couldn't call the thing off. No matter what Kelly said, she knew Shay was in too deep, the planning, the food, the excitement. She also knew that two little kids were looking forward to it. Wanted it. Needed this coming out party.
"No, it'll be fun," she said unconvinced but ready to dig in.
Kelly popped another jalapeno, cheese, bacon thing in his mouth, coming to the realization of what he'd missed when he decided a quickie marriage would be best, an unattended, just the two of them exchanging of vows. Something he was sure Shay was still trying to get over. She'd planned a celebration when they returned but it was nothing like this "event" that would put the city's most well known party planners to shame. Today, was the tasting which Kelly found out just meant stuffing his face and saying what he liked best.
"Mmmm," he said, nudging J.P. in the ribs while the two sat side by side on Gabby's couch. "Whaddya think?" he asked.
"Good. Hot but not too hot," J.P. agreed, huge, toothy grin revealing some remnants of bacon still needing to be swallowed.
"Hey, get me another one of those," Kelly instructed, one hand on his stomach, the other pointing to some sausage cornbread rolls on the counter top.
J.P. shuffled up bringing back four of the appetizers and two fresh napkins.
"Don't strain yourself too much, Severide," Gabby called from the kitchen.
"Which Severide you talkin' to?" asked Kelly winking at J. he tossed another sausage roll in his mouth.
"The one sitting on his ass and ordering around his son," she laughed watching the boy pop a roll in his mouth, a mirror image of the fireman.
"You wouldn't want to get me another beer?" he yelled out between chews.
"Go screw yourself," Gabby retorted, laughing harder.
"Language, Gabs. Little ears in here," Kelly called, winking again at J.P. who was covering his mouth, trying to stifle a laugh.
"Call me that again and J's gonna be gettin' you an ambulance, old man," Dawson snorted, smiling at the array of treats in front of her, all met with a Severide stamp of approval.
"In case I forget to thank you later, thanks for all this. Mill's ain't got nothin' on you, Gabby," Kelly said, making up for lost ground.
"It's for the kids," she teased, "and you are welcome."
Kelly loved that look on J.P.'s face, the one that said he wasn't trying to please anyone, he was just in the minute. He smiled as J made no move to get him another beer. But as happy as he was, he also ached for his wife, wishing she was part of this pig out. He was always trying to get her to eat a cheeseburger, the more meat on her bones, the better, he thought. He closed his eyes, imagining her warmth next to him.
"So how much you think their new dresses are gonna set me back?" Kelly asked, eyes still closed, picturing her in a new dress. Then out of it.
"A fortune," J.P. answered.
"Was afraid of that," Kelly said, opening his eyes, glancing at his son. "Girls," he added smiling.
"Girls," J.P. agreed, in a perfect Kelly 2.0 imitation.
"You take my breath away," Erin said, her husky laugh erupting as Kayla spun around and around in the tiny dressing room.
"That color with your skin tone … is - un-be-lieve-able. Seriously, so jealous right now," Erin continued, her proud mama bear DNA coming out. Seeing that look on Kayla's face made the party worth it. The silent girl in the corner was nowhere to be found.
Kayla gazed at herself in the mirror, admiring the soft emerald green fabric, liking what she saw. The dress wasn't what she usually wore. The style more suitable for a young girl on the verge of becoming a teen. She hadn't wanted to try it on, knowing K would prefer her in something with ruffles, but Erin insisted.
"You were right," Kayla said smiling, glad she gave in.
"I like the sound of that. Mom's always right," Erin teased, wrapping her arms around her daughter, squeezing her would be no wishing away hips today. No wanting a smaller waist today. Kayla, for at least one day, was happy with what God had given her.
"Where we gonna eat?" Erin asked quietly as if plotting some crime, not wanting the afternoon to end.
"Meatball subs," Kayla whispered back in the same "up to something" tone.
"Good call," Erin answered, smile growing by the second. She worried about the damage that woman who gave birth to Kayla had done. You're too fat. Too hippy. Too this. Too that. It was the constant chipping away at the young girl's self worth that Erin hated worse than all the drugs, the men, all the rest of it. She knew from personal experience Kayla would get over all that. But it was an ongoing battle to bolster Kayla up, to make her see the beautiful girl she was. Erin felt like she was winning.
"Let's buy this thing cause I'm starved."
"You sure K's gonna be okay with it?" Kayla asked, looking at the price tag.
"He's going to love it." Erin thought "love" might be overstating it a bit, but she also knew he couldn't refuse the girl a thing. He wouldn't be happy that she looked 12 in the dress, preferring her to not break the 10 threshold. Erin still chuckled at the last time Kelly folded clothes, the actual last time he would be folding clothes.
"What the hell is this?" he asked dropping a bra on the bed as if it burned his hand. He turned a little green and looked as though he might throw up as Erin answered.
"Babe, you know what that is. You've unhooked enough of them in your life. It's Kayla's…"
"Stop. Just stop. I, I, can't…" he fumbled away from the bed, backing up as if it were a crime scene.
"Kel, it's just a training bra. In a year or two you're not even going to be able to tell hers from mine," Erin commented, trying to help but only adding to his discomfort.
"No. What?" the image that conjured up was something Kelly would never forget. Kay, his Kay, wearing grown up bras, bras like Erin's. He stumbled off to the living room, flopping on the couch, rubbing his hand through his short hair.
"Babe, you okay?" Erin asked, sympathetic smile on her face.
"No. No I'm not okay. That's a bra, Erin.. Kayla's a kid. She doesn't need a bra. Right?" Kelly was trying to remove the image from his brain. That white, stretchy thing with a little flower in front was gone, adios, history. Never saw it…
"She most definitely needs it, but it's just a piece of clothing, Kelly. Jesus, you'd think she just brought a boy home," Erin laughed, heading back to the bedroom.
Kelly felt his breath catch in his throat, that sick feeling coming back. "You are evil, Erin!" the fireman called out. An answer came in the throaty laugh of his wife from the bedroom.
Erin felt a nudge on her arm.
"We didn't get you a new dress!" Kayla exclaimed, pulling Erin's thoughts from her husband and back to the store she was standing in. The little girl suddenly remembered the shopping trip was for both of them.
"Girl, those subs are calling our names. I know I've got plenty to wear." Erin was seriously considering jeans and a T-shirt. She'd told Kelly, "It's Molly's for God's sake!" He agreed, but he also knew that jeans were out for him. Shay would disown him if he didn't put in a little effort.
Erin grabbed her girl's hand, kissing it noisily. Kayla giggled as Erin made another slurping noise on the hand. "Now let's eat," Erin said, taking in the moment, trying to remember every detail. Somehow she knew this would be a memory she could call upon for years to come. Years from now, sitting on a porch by a lake, husband at her side, and she would be able to call on this, on it as one of the best of her life.
"So Cally's finally looking like she's got a bun in the oven, maybe a whole loaf of bread," Kelly chuckled, his eye catching the Clarke's at a side table, Jeff wrapping his arms around his wife, looking like he just won the lotto. The party at Molly's, the Severide shower, was turning out to be one big, helluva party. Better than anyone had thought possible.
"Ssshhh! Babe, you do not want to say a pregnant woman looks pregnant or big or large or the F word," reprimanded Erin, putting a soft hand on her husband's mouth. "You do not want the wrath of those hormones on you," she added, smiling about the jokes going around at work, all behind the blonde's back, no one with the guts or other parts to say any of it in front of her.
"Oh shit, Pregzilla's comin' this way," Kelly said downing three gulps of beer and trying to look innocent.
"Just shut your mouth, Kel. I may want to keep you around…" Erin took two quick sips of her own. "Cally! Jeff! Didn't think you were going to make it."
"Uh, yeah, just forget what I said earlier. I wouldn't miss this party for the world. So happy for you," Cailin said, feeling Jeff's arms wrap around her again, thankful they could still get all the way around. She eyeballed Kelly knowing his wide eyed look was trying to hide something.
"Kelly," Cally greeted in a measured tone. "You wouldn't be talking about my little bean would you?"
"Nah, just tellin' Erin that you're lookin' good, can barely tell you're pregnant," the fireman responded, his stomach met with a hard slap from his wife.
"Ummph," he snorted, beer trickling out of his mouth. "Ow, what the hell, Erin?"
She smiled at her friend waiting for the eruption. Kelly, God love him, but so clueless sometimes, she thought, so clueless in the matters of women. Who would've thought it?
"Hmm, can barely tell, huh? Let me steal your wife before she leaves a mark," Cally said sweetly, hooking her arm in Erin's.
"Sorry about that…" the brunette started.
"No forget it," Cailin interrupted. "I am sorry. That was not me yesterday," she continued thinking about how she blew up at her best friend, saying there was no way she was setting foot in a bar, why were they even having the thing in a bar, and maybe something about "dumbest idea in the history of mankind" came out of her mouth before a few tears and mumblings about wanting all the drinks.
"What could you be talking about, Cally?" Erin asked her rasp hinting at a laugh held lightly behind the words.
"Shut up," Cailin stated, "and get me a drink. Water, club soda, whatever. Doesn't really matter. It will be boring. I am boring. I'll just watch you drink the rest of that beer."
"Shut up," Erin parroted, pushing her friend into a chair, bouncing off to retrieve two waters, with limes, and fancy umbrellas.
"You do still love me," Cally sighed as Erin plopped down with the drinks.
"So everything going okay?" Kelly asked hesitantly, not sure how Jeff was looking so happy with that load of raging hormones at home.
"Yeah, great. Perfect really," he answered truthfully. The swollen ankles suddenly making an appearance, all those first months of morning sickness, the mood swings, he wouldn't trade it for anything. All of it pointed in the direction of a baby on the way. His baby. Their baby.
"You don't look any worse for wear," Kelly smiled, patting his friend on the back. "You're a good man, Clarke."
"That's Cally's line," Jeff laughed, keeping a watchful eye on his wife. Glad Erin had her laughing, looking calmer than she had in a week.
"So when do you think you and Erin might take the plunge?" Clarke asked, teasing more than anything.
Kelly tried sputtering out a response but managed to spew a little beer instead.
"Just - got- them," he coughed out, looking at Kayla and J.P. breaking into some robot moves that Shay was orchestrating and capturing on her phone.
"Hey, congrats on that, but…" Clarke added, giving Kelly a few hard pats on the back, "you can always add to the Severide clan."
"Uh, got my hands full, more than full," Kelly answered, his eyes traveling to his his wife, wondering how he got so damn lucky. Her, the kids, what more could he want?
"You know I'm just bullshittin' you, bud?" Jeff asked. "You got it all right here, but…" he said winking, "you haven't lived till you've experienced an eight month pregnant wife. And those hormones." He almost whispered that last part.
"Hands full, more than full," Kelly repeated, but a part of him, deep down, agreeing with his friend. He couldn't help but think he missed out on seeing Erin go through a pregnancy. Thoughts of those dark days returning, thoughts of how long it'd been since he'd thought about their lost baby, a sadness flashing across his face.
He downed the rest of his beer, a quiet settling in, Clarke sorry he'd brought any of it up, clearing his throat while deciding what to say.
Shay said it for him. She was front and center, talking to the crowd about her best friend, about his beautiful wife, two perfect kids she wanted to steal, adding something about Holly. She was done with her rambling, love filled speech when sobs overtook her voice. Kelly felt himself being pushed to the front of the bar, two children clapping wildly.
A speech. No one said anything about a damn speech. It started as rambling as Shay's before he hit his stride, gathering confidence from Erin's beaming face.
"This is one of the happiest days of my life. Right here…" he was getting choked up as he ended, taking a quick sip of beer to get a grip, "Right here, in this room, is all," Kelly looked around the bar, clearing his throat. His eyes settling on Erin, locking in on her gaze. She nodded her head, huge smile on her face. He looked at Kayla, J.P. both sitting in front of his wife. He scanned everyone from 51, his family, wanting to say more, not sure if his voice was going to cooperate. His eyes stopped on Shay who was full on snot crying again.
"All I need is right here in this room." Kelly finished, getting up to kiss Shay on his way to Erin and the kids. He took the three of them in his arms, wrapping his family in tight, wishing he could freeze time.
"I didn't get dessert," Kelly lamented as the Severides made their way into their condo. Erin answered by flying into his arms the second they crossed the threshold to their bedroom, a sanctuary the kids didn't enter before knocking first. Kelly held his wife like he'd never let go. He wouldn't.
"How's this for dessert?" Erin asked huskily, hair already out of it's ponytail. Tangled in each other's arms, they toppled on the bed, a furious blend of hands and clothes and skin. Kelly stretched his body across Erin, teasing her with his bare chest, T-shirt thrown on the floor.
She tensed as his hands clamped on hers before leaving to slide up the inside of her thigh, his fingers toying with the black panties she still had on.
She kissed him hard, tasting his mouth, the want in her body that could only be quenched with this man. With Kelly. The arch in her back told him as much. Kelly enjoyed dessert so much he came back for seconds.
Erin had tried to push him away so many times when they were just beginning. But he kept coming back. He wouldn't take no for an answer. He wouldn't accept her protests that she wasn't made for anything real and lasting. He forced her to believe that she deserved it. Deserved all the good things that would come her way if she'd just let him in. That shadow of a person she was, the shell that was now full of the loving person she'd become, fearless now in matters of the heart. Erin could accept love and give it in a way that paralyzed her with fear before she let a fireman walk through the flames of a wall she'd put up.
She was so thankful that she had. She wanted to tell him all of this. To thank him again for sticking with her through her stubbornness, through her craziness, through her doubts that she even knew how to love.
Instead, she simply said, "Kelly. Kelly. Let's make a baby."
Wrapping this one up soon. I'll continue with one more installment where we'll explore the addition of Cam, show Erin as a PI, and have that Shay baby. Thanks for reading and for all the support!