Disclaimer: I don't own Community. If I did, Robert Patrick would have guest starred in a paintball episode as an unstoppable killer robot from the future - with a paintball gun - rather than the one he actually did appear in. I don't own Terminator either, but if I did...
Chapter 15 - Eng Lit 121: Set text "Love in a Time of War"
Week 21
Author's note: I'd just like to offer grateful thanks to jeffwik, who both beta-read this and provided plot ideas that made it a much better chapter than it would otherwise have been.
(Group Study Room F, Jeff and Britta have arrived and are sniping at each other.)
"Ugh! - Oh good, more of this." Pierce said.
Jeff noticed the way the others are looking at them. "More of what?"
"What do you think? The constant bickering," added Shirley.
" It was cute at first, but well, Abed explains it best." Troy joined in. Britta and Jeff were starting to feel ganged up on.
"To be blunt," said Abed, "Jeff and Britta are no Ross and Rachel. Their sexual tension and lack of chemistry are putting us all on edge, which is why, ironically - and hear this on every level - they're keeping us from being friends."
"Jeff and I do not have sexual tension!" Britta said. "We just argue all the time."
"Want my advice? Pork her and move on. We did it all the time in my day." Pierce said.
"Or pork somebody at least." Abed said.
Jeff is shocked to hear him apparently endorse something Pierce said. "What the heck do you mean by that, Abed?"
"Your bickering with Britta is only a symptom, Jeff. The real cause of the sexual tension is the unresolved love triangle between you, Britta and Annie. You need to have sex with at least one of them to dissipate the tension."
"I'd-"
"Shut up, Pierce." Britta, Jeff and Shirley spoke out simultaneously.
"Abed, What the hell? Annie's got nothing to do with this!" Jeff attempted to continue, but is overridden by Shirley.
"Annie? You mean that cardigan wearing Jezebel who sits in the front row of Spanish class and is constantly trying to steal Britta's man?"
"Shirley! Annie's nothing like that! Anyway, I'm not Britta's-"
"He's not my –" Britta and Jeff shouted simultaneously.
"Theoretically, it could also be resolved by Britta and Annie sleeping together, but that's a low probability outcome only likely to happen during Sweeps Week, and we're too late in the season for that." Abed said.
"Abed!" Britta is appalled.
"As-"
"Shut up, Pierce."
"No, what needs to happen now is that Jeff has to sleep with one of them, apologise and declare his love for the other to reset the balance."
"Abed!" Jeff, Britta and Shirley shouted simultaneously.
For the life of him, Jeff never thought he'd actually be grateful to see the dean.
"Hey, everybody! Just a reminder - our spring fling is on the quad today. Music, food, activities." He was caressing Jeff's shoulder, Jeff was still partly stunned by the previous conversation and barely noticed. "There's also going to be a game of paintball assassin with a prize for last man standing. Or last man in a wheelchair with no paint on him."
"Or last woman." Britta wasn't in a much better mood than Jeff, but wasn't prepared to let that slide.
"Give it a rest, Britta." The dean snapped at her.
"Ahh, what's the prize?" said Troy.
"It was a blu-ray DVD player, but it was stolen. So now it's TBD."
The dean waved and left.
"I want TBD!" Troy said.
"Is that new? If it's what I think, I had it for about a month in the '70s." Said Pierce.
"Let's get back to Britta and Jeff." Said Shirley grimly.
"There is no Britta and Jeff."
"He said, fully erect." Snarked Pierce.
"Well, I'm going to let you guys figure this out while I go take a nap in my car." Jeff walked out of the room before he lost his temper any further.
XXXXXX
"Hi, Jeff!"
Jeff has been spotted walking across the Quad, he saw who was hailing him and smiled. "Hi Edison, what are you doing out here?"
"Just thought I'd check out the Spring Fling." She fell into place alongside him. "What about you – shouldn't you be studying with your group?"
Jeff had no intention of telling her the truth – Abed's theory is just too bizarre, and slipping off for a daytime nap is something Pierce might do and Jeff really didn't want Annie bracketing him and Pierce together. He thought of something else he sometimes does instead.
"I need to get something from my car." Jeff said. "Walk with me Edison – a woman's opinion would come in handy for this."
Annie smiled at that. "Of course, Jeff."
XXXXXX
(Jeff's car)
"What do you need me here for, Jeff?" Annie asked.
Jeff fished a bag out of his car and pulled two shirts out of it – he was literally a man who brought spare clothes to school in case what he put on in the morning had gone out of fashion by lunchtime.
"I'm not sure the shirt I'm wearing is working any more. What do you think? Stick with it, or this, or this?" He held up a white shirt in his left hand and a blue one in his right.
"Um," Annie is looking both petrified and excited. "The blue one?"
Jeff flashed a full toothed smile at Annie. "I think you're right – thanks Edison, I knew it was a good idea to bring you."
Quite unselfconsciously, he peeled the shirt he's wearing off over his head, leaving Annie standing barely two feet away from his torso, covered only in a skin tight muscle shirt. Her eyes opened wide - Annie has actually seen Jeff naked before, but she was some distance away then and part of a crowd, being this close and on her own makes it feel as though he's doing it just for her somehow.
"I'll have what she's having!" A voice in the distance shouted out.
"Hey! It wasn't working…" Annie's voice faded out as she realised Jeff has finished getting dressed and was looking at her with a broad grin on his face as he realised she was blushing.
"What's the matter Edison? You've seen a lot more of me than this."
The last thing Annie needed then was to be reminded of Jeff's pool game as though Jeff had read her mind somehow.
"Jeff, stop it!" Annie stamped her foot in what was supposed to be an emphatic manner, but just caused Jeff to flash his Annie-does-something-cute-but-childish grin again.
"And stop that!" This time Annie turned her back and looked ready to stamp off.
"I'm sorry, Edison." The vain part of Jeff liked it that he can provoke such a reaction from Annie, but the part of him that's a friend realised his teasing may have gone a bit far. "Walk with me?" He held his arm out. "We can see what nonsense the dean has set up for us."
Annie still had an echo of her angry face on, but she linked her arm through Jeff's and let him lead her back to the Quad.
XXXXXX
(The Quad, Jeff and Annie had been wandering around the stalls for a couple of minutes when the tannoy crackled into life.)
"Attention Greendale Students! I am able to announce the prize for the Paintball Assassin tournament!" The dean paused for a moment to milk the effect.
"The prize is priority registration! The winning student will get first pick of all courses for next year's Fall semester!"
A rumbling noise rose as students suddenly paid attention.
"You have until the bell chimes at midday -" it was then 11:54 " - to gather your supplies and the tournament starts! Any student that assassinates another student before the chime sounds will be instantly disqualified. Good luck!"
"Jeff!" Said Annie. "We can make sure we can do all our courses together next year!" Her eyes were shining.
Jeff barely noticed what she said. "I can schedule all my courses for a Monday and have a six-day weekend." He said in an awestruck tone of voice.
"Come on, Jeff!" Annie had grabbed his hand and was attempting to drag him to the nearest stall handing out paintball supplies.
Jeff snapped out of his daydream. He stepped in front of Annie and ruthlessly used his height and strength to drag other students out of the way as he forced his way through the crowd gathering around the table. Annie fell in behind him, ignoring the cry of people being flung sideways.
Jeff reached the table, grabbed a pair of pistols and a box of ammunition, turned around and thrust them into Annie's hands. The crowd attempting to reach the table had got even larger and more tightly packed - Jeff realised he didn't have a chance of going around Annie to lead her out and on checking the time - 11:57 - realised he didn't have the time to be gentle. Annie squawked suddenly as Jeff lifted her clean off her feet, held her tightly against his chest and surged forward through the crowd by pure brute strength. By the time he was back in open space he realised there was less than a minute left before the bell was due to sound.
"Hold on -" he said, starting to run. Annie put one arm around his neck while the other held onto the guns and ammunition "When the bell goes, this place will be a killing field."
He carried her all the way to the Learning Resource Center, only putting her down at the bottom of the steps as the bell raced up the steps to the front door together, and the shouting and screaming started as they shut the door behind them and headed down to Study Room B.
Annie - who had somehow managed to hang on to the guns and ammunition - dropped them on the table before sitting down.
"We need to lie low for a while," she said. "Half the student body will be out of the game in five minutes - after that the gangs will form and they'll start to hunt down the weaker players. We need to stay together if we're going to reach the end."
Jeff had a very slight expression of awe on his face. "Who are you and what have you done with my Annie? General Patton?"
Annie is both pleased and slightly embarrassed. "Actually, I read 'The Hunger Games'." She said.
Jeff nodded. "Okay then Katniss, let's tool up while - what's so funny?"
"Oh, Jeff." Annie had a huge smile on her face. "I've got an excuse for reading those books - I'm the target demographic - but you?"
Dammit Winger, he thought to himself. Why do you keep forgetting how smart this girl is? Just because she has strange obsessions, a schoolmarm's taste in cardigans and somehow manages to think you're a decent person despite knowing you for months now - as well as being unbearably cute when she thinks she's scored one on you - doesn't make her stupid.
What he actually said though is "I never said I read it Edison, I may have read about it in 'The New York Review of Books' though."
Annie clearly didn't believe a word of it. She had however loaded one of the pistols and slid it across the table to Jeff. She proceeded to load the other. "How many clips can you handle?" Jeff only had his pockets.
"Give me half a dozen." Annie nodded, slid them across the table and tipped the rest into her backpack.
"Which pocket is the ammunition pocket?" Jeff said, she stuck her tongue out at him.
XXXXXX
They'd been in Study Room B for half an hour, talking occasionally while keeping an eye on the door and an ear for feet on the stairs.
"It's been almost ten minutes since I last heard anything." Annie said.
"Do you want to see what's happening outside?"
"Might as well, we're going to have to leave here at some point." They headed out the door and up the stairs, taking it in turns to cover each other. When they reached the outside door, Jeff opened it cautiously while Annie stuck her compact mirror out. When she confirmed there was nobody visible, they stepped out.
"What the - " Jeff said in awe. The Quad was devastated - broken stalls and furniture everywhere.
They made their way cautiously down the Quad.
Suddenly a voice rang out from behind them. "Hey Jeff and Annie, what say we -"
Jeff pivoted on the spot and fired three times. Doctor Rich's perfect smile looked somewhat more forced after Jeff shot him in the face. "Well, I guess that means I'm going home then." He turned around and walked away.
"Was that really necessary, Jeff?" Said Annie.
"Oh, yes." He replied.
"Well then, what do we do next?"
"I don't know about you, but I haven't eaten since breakfast and I have no idea how long this thing is going to last - want to try the cafeteria?"
Annie shrugged and followed him. As they got closer to the cafeteria, they heard the sounds of a strange battle going on inside.
"Point!"
"Counterpoint!"
"Rejoinder!"
"It sounds like the debate club is having a civil war." Annie said to Jeff.
She stepped out of their hiding place and walked through the doors.
"Hi Annie - someone called out. "Where have you been?" Annie looked around, there were only three left.
"Hi Dave, Tricia, Mike," she said, drawing her gun and shooting on each name. Mike had actually tried to run as the first two went down, Annie shot him in the back just as he was reaching the back entrance to the cafeteria.
"Debate over, victory Edison." Jeff said wryly as he stepped through the door and saw the shocked expressions of Annie's victims.
"Bye, guys."
"Edison, can you keep an eye on the door while I check the serving station for food?"
"Sure, Jeff."
Jeff cautiously crossed the cafeteria, making sure nobody else was hiding. He'd just ducked behind the serving station when he heard voices coming in from outside.
"C'mon boys, let's hustle!" Followed by the sound of paintball guns firing.
"Basketball team!" Annie screamed, even as she returned fire and dived away from the door.
There were too many of them - Annie was being driven across the cafeteria, away from Jeff. For a nanosecond, Jeff considered hiding and letting Annie take the fall. Oh, crap. He said to himself instead and jumped on top of the serving counter, gripping his gun double-handed and firing, taking down the closest two basketball players. "Hey boys - can you handle a real man?" He screamed.
The basketball team was distracted from their pursuit of Annie just long enough for her to dive into an air conditioning duct that was missing its cover. "I'll find you, Edison!" Jeff screamed, jumping off the counter only narrowly ahead of a flurry of paintball pellets and diving through the back door to the cafeteria. He picked himself up and fled down the corridor, the basketball team in hot pursuit.
XXXXXX
It felt like Jeff had been running forever before he managed to shake the remaining members of the basketball team, but in fact it had been barely an hour since this madness started. He was cautiously inching his way down a corridor when he saw a body slumped on the floor under a Spring Fling banner. Momentarily overtaken by curiosity he pulled it aside.
"Animals! They're all animals!" Garrett screamed. Jeff suddenly saw a dot of laser light on Garrett's chest and instinctively dived sideways as two paintballs slammed into Garrett's chest. Jeff looked around and saw Leonard heading towards him. Jeff aimed and fired - only to hear the click of an unloaded gun. Jeff picked himself up and fled round the corner. To his shock he saw Abed coming the other way, gun outstretched. Jeff suddenly dropped flat , as Abed somehow ran up the wall, shooting over Jeff's head.
"Aw, you suck." Leonard turned away in disgust.
"Come with me if you don't want paint on your clothes." Abed said to Jeff. Abed led Jeff inside Chang's classroom. Troy was covering them as they went through the door.
"Hey. Look what I found wandering the neutral zone." Abed said.
"Jeff Winger, you son of a bitch! I thought you were dead, man!" Troy walked over with a smile on his face and gave Jeff a hug. Jeff returned it.
"I was with Annie," Jeff said. "We were separated when the basketball team attacked the cafeteria, she's still out there on her own, guys."
"I'm sorry Jeff, she won't last long on her own."
You don't know her like I do. Jeff thought to himself.
"Every student wants that prize Jeff, and there's no way to share it, so we'll eventually all turn on each other. But the longer we wait to do that the longer we work together, the longer we last." Abed said. "The packs are forming, Jeff. Do you want in on ours, or are you a lone wolf?"
Jeff sighed. "Count me in guys - but I'm not giving up on Annie just yet, okay?"
XXXXXX
(Jeff Troy and Abed teamed up, and after a tense confrontation in the men's toilet, also teamed up with Shirley and Britta. They found Pierce looting the vending machines with Starburns, Pierce shot Starburns and joined them. Shortly after they lose Troy and Pierce when the study group took down the Glee Club. They retired to the remains of the cafeteria as dark fell and talked around the campfire. All this time Jeff was keeping an eye out for Annie, feeling guilty at his inability to keep the promise he'd made as he fled the cafeteria last time. There was one more battle to be fought in the cafeteria, as the Study Group was attacked by a gang of disco rollerskaters. They were victorious but at the cost of losing Abed and Shirley and leaving Britta and Jeff as the only members of the Study Group still standing.)
"Oh, my God, you've been hit!" Said Britta.
"What? Oh, no!" Jeff gasped.
"Wait, wait. It's blood!" He almost giggled with relief. "I thought it was paint, but I'm just bleeding. Talk about luck, eh?"
Britta rolled her eyes at him. "There's a first aid kit in the library. Let's go back to the Study Room." As they left the cafeteria, neither of them noticed a figure slip out of a storage cupboard and follow them at a cautious distance.
XXXXXX
Jeff was bending down behind the librarian's station looking for the first aid kit.
"You know," he said. "We saw no sign of anybody else on the walk over here. Do you think we could be the last two left?"
"Could be." Said Britta.
"What do you want to do about the prize? Jeff said. "Ah, there it is." He picked up the first aid kit.
"Well I don't know about you, but I'm thinking of shooting you in the back and taking it for myself - I mean, for Shirley."
Jeff slowly put the first aid kit down on the counter, his hands above his head, stood up and turned round. "Oh Britta - after all we've been through together…"
"Do go on Jeff - I'd love to see you Winger Speech your way out of this one." Britta stated, with a victorious grin on her face.
Jeff was now facing his blonde friend full on, looking straight down the barrel of her gun. He risked a quick glance over her right shoulder.
"You're right Britta - I've got nothing. I think she does, however... "
"Really, you don't expect me to fall - "
"BYE, BYE, MISS AMERICAN PIE!" Screamed a new voice. Britta was already turning - but far too late to prevent Annie hitting her with half a clip of pellets.
"Seriously Jeff? Your little friend?" Britta looked at the pair of them with disgust, and stormed out.
"I have a name, you know." Annie said sadly as Britta passed through the doors.
"Annie, that was amazing!" The little brunette practically bounced with delight. "Where have you been all this time?"
"Hiding in the air vents and storage cupboards mostly. I was the last of the solos, and your study group and the Disco Assassins were the last of the gangs - when you took them out and you and the blonde" - Annie's voice practically dripped with disdain - "were the only ones left I thought it was time to come out of hiding and try to finish this. So - here's your question back at you: what do you want to do about the prize?"
Jeff took a long look at his friend while he considered his answer - knee length grey skirt and hose, a shirt that looked more like an artist's smock (trust Annie to wear something designed to get paint on) which she had somehow acquired since the last time he saw her and a pistol in each hand, ready but not pointed at him.
She fidgeted slightly under his cool gaze, but did not back down.
"How about we settle this Wild West style?" Jeff said. "We go out in the Quad, stand back to back, walk ten paces then turn and fire. First hit wins."
"Deal," Annie smiled. Then her eyes flicked to the blood on his shirt and the first aid kit, and her smile faded. "But first let me treat that wound - I got a first aid badge in the Girl Scouts, you know."
"Of course you did, "Jeff said as he lazily peeled off his muscle shirt. Annie's eyes opened wide as she allowed herself a long look at his muscled torso for the second time that day. Well, he spent enough time eyeing me up. She said to herself. Fair's fair.
Annie cleaned Jeff's wound with efficient swipes of a damp cloth, sterilised it with some iodine - Jeff manfully suppressed a flinch - and applied a dressing. Her touch had been soft and gentle, even if her fingers did tremble slightly. Jeff looked her in the eyes and smiled.
The petite brunette blushed and smiled back one of those smiles that always managed to light up a room. Jeff smiled again, and for no reason that made sense to him planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "You make a very good nurse, Annie."
Annie was painfully aware of just how close Jeff was, the heat rising from his body, the sheer physical masculinity of him that was so different from her high school boyfriend, who was the only other man - boy, really - to get this close to her. She was also very aware of the spot burning on her forehead where he'd kissed her and how it seemed to validate every hope, every dream she'd had since that first day in the cafeteria. She hesitated for a moment, then suddenly leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. Feeling like she'd gone too far somehow, she pulled back. "I'm sorr-"
Annie cut her apology short as, looking at the almost hungry expression that had appeared on Jeff's face, she realised she hadn't misread the moment after all. This time when she leaned forward Jeff met her halfway as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back in for a much more passionate, open mouthed kiss. Annie's arms reached around his back as she returned the kiss with equal passion and desperation.
An alarm started clanging in Jeff's head as thoughts started crowding in. She's only nineteen, you monster! She's your friend! She's Annie! Jeff tried to pull away, but only got as far as making eye contact as, on seeing the wild look in her eyes, the part of Jeff that knew exactly what to do when faced with a beautiful young woman with fire in her eyes and tearing at his clothes ruthlessly shoved the other part of him aside and with brute strength picked up Annie and laid her flat on the study room table. Annie ripped off her shirt as Jeff scrambled out of his tight jeans and boxer shorts. He pushed Annie's skirt up past her waist and grabbed hold of the waistband of her underwear and pantyhose and yanked them all the way off. He spread her legs and positioned himself between them.
"Are you sure?" He said, making eye contact again.
"Stop talking." She gasped in reply.
XXXXXX
The observer's attention is distracted by a lightbulb flickering in the main body of the library, and beyond that by the sight of a piece of paper skipping across the Quad in a night breeze. Our point of view closes in on it and sees it's the front page of last week's Gazette Journal Mirror with a half page picture of Jeff and Britta in mid-tango. The piece of paper skips across the Quad, eventually plastering against an office window. Inside, the dean and Chang are plotting how to avoid awarding the prize. Our viewpoint moves on, heading towards the student dorm where Abed Nadir is returning from the cafeteria. Abed looks at the hand painted sign somebody has placed on the door – VALHALLA – and passes inside to where the fallen veterans of the paintball war are holding a small party. Troy Barnes greets him with a broad grin and their special handshake and passes him a diet coke. Abed tells the gathered crowd about the battle in the cafeteria and gives his opinion that only Britta and Jeff are left. Marcia, whose head is resting on Pavel's lap, points out that nobody has heard or seen anything of Annie since she took out half the cheerleading squad and disappeared into the air conditioning ducts hours earlier.
Our point of view rises into the night sky above Greendale and drifts across town to a small house in the suburbs where Shirley Bennett's car is just popping into the drive. We follow her indoors and watch as she looks in on her sleeping boys. Shirley smiles, then kisses them on their foreheads, taking care not to wake them up before retreating to her own bedroom.
Our viewpoint once again rises high into the sky and passes at speed over the town, to pause only briefly at Hawthorne Mansion to confirm Pierce is fast asleep before heading back into town where Britta Perry has arrived back at her small apartment where a scrawny, one-eyed cat proceeds to wrap itself around her leg. Britta smiles, scratches it behind the ear and opens a can of cat food before heading for the shower and bed.
For the last time, our point of view rises into the night sky above Greendale. We pause to admire the full moon shining down without fear or favour on the rich and the poor, the happy and the sad and the loved and the lonely before descending once again on Greendale Community College and heading back to the library. We wait a moment outside Study Room F, and on hearing only quiet voices engaged in conversation, slip back inside.
XXXXXX
Annie has dreamed on more than one occasion of what sex with Jeff would be like - he would be wearing an expensive, tailored suit (a tuxedo since Spring Formal), she an elegant, sophisticated dress. There would be a candlelit dinner and discreet music, they would have witty, engaging conversation and she would watch the desire rise in his eyes as he slowly realised what a mature, sophisticated and intelligent woman she was. Then there would be a slow dance, their eyes would meet and there would be a kiss. Jeff would sweep her off her feet and the lovemaking would be as elegant and sophisticated as the rest of the evening.
Raw, physical passion on a study room table had never featured in any of her dreams. And yet...
"So that's what sex is supposed to be like." She said in a faint voice.
"Annie? Are you - damn, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have…."
"No Jeff. I'm not a virgin. It's just I've never had an… an... before."
Jeff smiled to himself, still looking at the ceiling.
"Annie, you're allowed to say 'orgasm', especially if you've just had one."
"Yes, that. And thank you, but I'd rather not!"
Jeff rolled over and took a good look at Annie for the first time since he'd finished. As he saw the expression on her face - a heartbreaking mixture of shock and fear as she failed to quite meet his eyes - the smile died on his lips and The Voice came back in force.
Monster.
Monster.
Monster!
Jeff also turned away and concentrated on putting his own clothes on as he tried to shut out The Voice.
She's nineteen!
She's your friend!
Dammit - if this was what having a conscience was like, Jeff wasn't sure it was worth it. He'd spent so long trying to control himself around Annie, and then he goes and does this?
The thoughts going through Annie's mind were quite different, but fully reflective of the fear on her face. He's only interested in women until he sleeps with them. This is where I start to lose him.
It was perhaps fortunate that Jeff couldn't look at Annie at that moment as it meant that he was looking at the study room door instead just as Chang in his white suit pushed it open, stepped through and brought his paintball machine gun to bear.
"Cover!" Jeff shouted, diving behind the overturned couch even as pellets started flying past his head. He risked turning his head around and breathed a small sigh of relief as Annie gave him the thumbs up from behind the returned books stack.
"Buenos dias, children!" Chang shouted. "You'll be happy to know you made it all the way to the end!"
"You're not even a student!" Jeff cried.
"Wrong! Critical media literacy and politics of gender, biatch!"
Jeff shot off a handful of pellets in Chang's general direction. The Spanish teacher responded by opening fire with his machine gun again, until as if bored with the lack of results he was getting he dropped it and pulled out a massive pair of gold painted pistols.
The Study Room was suddenly filled with an ear splitting scream as Annie climbed on the top of the book stack and leapt towards Chang, firing as she flew through the air. Chang pivoted and started shooting back, pelting Annie in mid air even as pellets exploded on his pristine white suit.
Jeff climbed out from behind his couch and walked over to where Annie was prone on the floor. "Annie? Are you okay?"
She rolled over and smiled, genuinely this time. "Claim the prize, Jeff. For both of us."
Chang started laughing as Jeff picked up the discarded machine gun.
"What's so funny, Chang?"
"Maybe it's the fact there's no such thing As priority registration! Or Maybe it's this -"
He opened his jacket to reveal a paint bomb vest with a timer counting down from five.
Jeff instinctively turned and dived through the door. As he crashed into the floor on the other side, he heard the faint thump of the bomb going off and turned, seeing to his relief that the door had closed in time to contain the blast.
Right. Time to end this.
XXXXXX
(Next day)
"….Or maybe it's that I have emerged victorious! With a priority registration form." Jeff said. Everybody applauded.
"Ohh! Well done, Jeff." Pierce said.
"And in recognition of her bravery, Not to mention her children, I hereby award this to the best soldier, Shirley."
"Ohh!"
"Now, the bad news is, For legal purposes, next semester If anybody asks you have gout. Do you mind walking with a limp?"
"Mm. Thank you, Jeffrey."
"Wow, I didn't see that coming." Said Britta.
"Neither did I." Said Jeff, with a slightly stunned expression on his face.
"I mean, I thought you'd have given it to you little friend if anybody. She did save your ass when I had the drop on you, after all."
"Yes well, you know me Britta, never knowingly grateful. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and lie down in a dark room to get over the fact that I did a good deed, however accidentally."
Jeff strode out of the library, down the steps and across the Quad to the Learning Resource Center. As she often was when she didn't have class, Annie was in Study Room B - the dark, windowless one nobody else liked - reading her course books. She looked up as she heard the door open and smiled as she saw who it was.
"Oh, hi Jeff!"
"Hi Annie. Do you, ah, want to talk about last night?" Jeff felt suddenly uncertain - what was wrong with him? After he had sex with a woman he usually couldn't wait to get rid of her - why was he seeking this one out instead? Because this isn't just another one of your women - this is Annie.The Voice said. She's your friend, and you owe it to her. Jeff wasn't good when it came to responsibility and putting others first, but deep inside of him there was a treacherous part of his subconscious that recognised this girl had changed the rules. Very well. Jeff replied.
Annie sat up straight in her seat and blushed. She had a nervous smile on her face. "It's alright Jeff, I know things got crazy and out of control and they don't have to mean anything in the light of day."
"Annie, I -"
"Jeff - it's okay. You don't have to worry about me. We were friends before yesterday and we're friends today, nothing has changed - I'm not going to be crazy or silly about this."
Jeff was dismayed - he had not expected Annie to be the rational one, the one to try and put things in context. He thought he was the one who would be letting her down gently - he didn't exactly welcome their roles being reversed. He was about to speak out when the Voice spoke up again in the back of his head, still stern but gentler this time.
Annie's a better friend than you deserve. There are already plenty of people in her life who hurt her, don't be one of them.
"Yeah." He realised he'd replied out loud. To cover it, he carried on talking. "Annie, I just want to say one thing before we go on."
"Yes, Jeff."
"Last night? It wasn't a mistake. Yes it was crazy, yes it wouldn't have happened any other night, and yes it was hardly what friends do. But it wasn't a mistake." Jeff wasn't sure how much he believed this himself, but he was very good at making other people believe things.
"I don't want either of us to regret it or to get hurt by it, okay? You're my best friend in this asylum and I don't want to lose my best friend over this." This on the other hand he believed with every fibre of his being.
Annie smiled. There may have been tears at the corners of her eyes. "That's a deal, Jeff. I don't want to lose my best friend over it either."
"Great." Jeff was feeling simultaneously both deflated and relieved. He tried to lighten the mood.
"I've got something." With a flourish, he pulled out a form from his folder.
"Priority Registration Form. For you, Milady." he passed it over the table. Annie squeaked with surprise.
"Oh Jeff - you didn't have to do this!"
I know, but I wanted to." Annie's smile was even bigger, if that was possible. "Anyway," he grinned lasciviously, "I got a much better prize last night."
"Jeeeeeffff…" She said, warningly.
He grinned again. "The Dean agreed I could keep my priority parking space for another year!" - Jeff shuddered slightly as a memory flashed through his brain of the Dean demanding a picture of him in his muscle shirt and holding a gun in return for the extra form and parking privileges - Annie rolled her eyes but she couldn't resist a grateful smile. "Now, the bad news is, for legal purposes, next semester If anybody asks you have leprosy." Annie squawked. "Do you own a bell?"
XXXXXX
For the next few minutes, they actually talked with something approaching ease, but soon Jeff had to leave for a class. As he picked up his bag, he looked over at Annie.
"So, we're really okay?"
Annie smiled. "Yes Jeff, we're okay."
As Jeff left, Annie finally let go of the strain of trying to be who she thought Jeff wanted her to be and buried her head in her hands.
XXXXXX
Author'snote:Okay, so some of you are probably asking - what the heck happened in that middle section? Simple answer - I discovered (a) I don't enjoy writing sex scenes, and (b) if I try to nevertheless I'm rubbish at it. I am however a great admirer of the Welsh poet and playwright Dylan Thomas, so I decided to make a feature out of a bug and leave Jeff and Annie their privacy and give you that "Under Milk Wood" inspired tour of Greendale at night instead. I hope it didn't disrupt the flow of things too much.