AN: You can shoot me. I'm sorry I haven't uploaded BUT this time I have a valid reason: my laptop has stopped working and I had no where to type my stuff on. I'm currently secretly using my brothers computer since he's not home... Sshhh. He mustn't know I write. On with the story!

James walked back with Lily to complete their rounds before they could get back to the comfort of their common room. The recently passed events were replaying themselves in his head. He found himself thinking about the sound of Lilys laugh, the way her eyes twinkled mischievously, and the colour of her cheeks that could rival that of her hair as she chased him down the corridor.

They reached the common room far too soon for James' liking.

"Night James," he heard her call out as she climbed the steps to the girls dormitories. He felt the colour rise to his cheeks at the sound of her voice saying his name. He slowly turned around to see the red head standing still on the staircase before shooting up the steps and closing the door behind her.

James strolled up to his dorm and opened the door to find Moony writing an essay for some homework they had been assigned, Padfoot was lying on his bed reading a book while Wormtail was nowhere in sight. He flopped down on his bed hardly registering his surroundings, a massive grin plastered to his face and a glazed look in his hazel eyes. The other two boys were confused by the silence which hardly ever accompanied the Head Boy and they knew only one thing, or rather person, who could have this effect on their friend. Lily Evans.

"What's gotten into you?" Sirius asked, sitting up a bit straighter. Remus had put down his quill and was leaning back in his chair, looking at James expectantly for a reply.

"Huh?" Prongs snapped out of his reverie. "Oh... it's nothing," he said, trying to shrug it off.

"Mate," Sirius said. "Are you really going to lie to us?" he raised his eyebrows and Remus nodded in agreement.

"Its just... " James struggled to find the right words.

"Its Lily, isn't it? Moony asked knowingly.

"How did you know?" James was confused making the others smile.

"You're never really quiet are you?" Remus laughed. "The only times you ever shut your mouth if Lily's involved. We're your friends. We're supposed to know stuff like this."

James sighed," I dont know what to do!" he fell back onto his bed. "I've been trying so hard not to like her, to stop my feelings from running helter-skelter whenever I'm around her but it doesn't work! It's like the more I try, the more I like her. And what makes it tougher is that I know I can never have her and that she'll never like me back!" he covered his face with a pillow. He didn't want to see the looks of pity he was undoubtedly getting from his two best mates.

"James," Remus started with a soft voice and a serious expression," Have you ever considered the possibility that the feelings you have for Lily is stronger than just a liking?"

"What do you mean?" James removed the pillow from his face, his brows furrowed.

"Have you ever considered that you more than like Lily?"

"I- I..." James was a little taken aback by this question. What really were his feelings for Lily? He couldn't stop thinking about her and he hadn't ever had a serious relationship with any girl because he always compared them to the beautiful red head.

"I'm not sure," he said uncertainly. "I don't know what's going on!" he exclaimed, hating the internal agony he was going through.

"Prongs... " Sirius said, "I think you love her."

"What?" James did not want to take all this in. But when he thought about it... Maybe they were right. What else could possibly drive him up the wall this way?

"But I can't be with her."

"Why not?" Moony asked, it was his turn to be confused.

"She deserves better," James stated simply.

"James, you can't just let go of the girl you love," Sirius said incredulously.

"I can because that's what I should do. She deserves someone better than me. Someone who's worthier than me."

"What about you?" Padfoot asked, the sadness visible in his otherwise playful grey eyes.

"Me? I'm going to suppress my feelings until they go away."

The elation James had been feeling prior to this conversation had vanished without a trace, letting a feeling of despair wash over him.

On Halloween night the castle was decorated to make it look even spookier than usual. There were carved pumpkins everywhere and the ceiling in the Great Hall portrayed a stormy night sky. The younger students had finished off with the feast and had retired for the night. The four house tables had been removed to be replaced with several small round tables scattered around the edges of the Hall, leaving a large dance floor in the centre.

James as Head Boy had reached the Hall early to ensure all the arrangements had been made. He was wearing a set of classic black dress robes for the occasion. He had tried his hardest to neaten his hair with a magic potion Remus had brewed for him but to no avail. It was still a black mess on his head, sticking up in all angles. James was so apprehensive about everything running smoothly that he unconsciously kept running his hand through his hair, making it look more wind swept than ever.

Soon the students began pouring in. There was a mix of colours ranging from black to bright yellow. The boys were in dress robes while the girls had the liberty to choose between dress robes, gowns or dresses.

James scanned the crowd for familiar faces and saw Sirius chatting up a sixth year Hufflepuff girl while Moony was standing in a corner talking to Mary making James smile to himself. His smile soon dropped when he caught sight of an enchanting figure entering the hall. He stood there gaping at Lily who was wearing a black cocktail dress, falling just above her knees, looking breathtaking. She was walking in with Alice, smiling at the passing students but he could tell she was a little apprehensive walking around on heels.

If James was going to suppress his feelings for this girl... She sure as hell wasn't making it easy.

AN: Hey everyone! Hope you liked it. It was much longer than I expected it to be. YAY! Thank you SO much for reading and PLEASE review, it makes me happy :]

And if anyone wants someone to talk to, no matter what it's about... please don't hesitate to PM me. We need to be there for each other. It's a cruel world but you're not alone.