The Name of the Game

by Inthemadhouse

An Accident on the Football Field leads to new feelings between Finn and Kurt. This is slash, my pretties, so be forewarned.

78. Chapter 78

Kurt POV

Things aren't getting any better around here. Finn has spent the past few days making himself as scarce as possible. He keeps swearing that he's over at Arties practicing their KISS routine, since Dad won't let them use fire in our backyard, but I know that isn't the truth. Artie accidentally spilled the beans that they were only practicing until 4:30, because they've been using his house, and they eat dinner early. His parents weren't up to the task of feeding four extra teenage boys every night, so they sent them home.

Only Finn wasn't coming home. My offers of a ride home had been gently rebuffed, leaving me in the dark about where he went and what he did. Puck brought him home every night, so I knew he was at least marginally safe with his best friend, but that didn't tell me where he had been.

And he wasn't talking. He had somehow managed to convince our parents that he was eating at Artie's, or that he and Puck were grabbing something to eat on the way home. Carole hadn't liked it, but Dad stuck up for Finn and was able to convince her to let it go. I wondered how he would feel if he knew that Finn was using that freedom to lie to the family and sneak around.

Don't even think about tattling on him. Do you want him to trust you? Because you betray him now, he will never trust you again.

I hadn't been thinking about it! Ok, maybe it had briefly flitted across my mind, but I would have never actually done it. I was just so curious about what was going on, and there were few things that I hated more then being left out of the loop.

Speaking of the devil, I heard the back door close with a soft click. That was something else that I had noticed. The first few days after he moved in, Finn barreled into the house at top speed, something that tended to end with him slamming into a counter. All of this while chattering at the top of his lungs. In his mind, everyone was as excited about his day as he was, and we were all dying to hear every single detail. In his defense, Finn was just as interested in hearing about what Carole and Dad had been up to, and the parts of my day that he had missed. He just likes knowing everything about everyone.

Now he was slinking in the door as quietly as possible. I'm not sure if he's actively avoiding us, or he just doesn't want us to know how late he's getting home. It's not a bad strategy. The night before last, Finn had been home over an hour before Dad looked up and asked when he was coming home. He was quite the invisible man when it suited him to be so.

Just in case he was hiding, I didn't call out to him and announce his presence. Instead I walked into the kitchen and intercepted him at the fridge. "Hi, Cowboy." I rocked up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss.

"Hey." He grabbed a soda with one hand and my butt with the other. "What's up?"

What was up was that I had just mastered a very difficult move in Cheerios practice, but I wasn't sure if I should bring that up. I wouldn't have believed it of him, but Finn is capable of nursing a very ugly and lengthy grudge, and he despised everything about Sue Sylvester. She had kept to her promise of leaving him alone, but he wasn't having it. Oddly, he had forgiven Mr. Shue for hiding the pot, but not Coach Sylvester for revealing the deception. I've tried talking to him about it, but any attempts end with a lot of frustration and shouting from him, so I just let it go. Some battles aren't worth fighting.

But I did want to share my good news with him. "I was able to successfully perform my Cupie Invert into a Handstand for the first time."

He stared. "Is that like a position from the Karma Sutra or something? Because it sounds kind of cool."

"You think we're going to have sex while I do a handstand?" Sometimes if you repeat Finn's words back to him, he figures out what's wrong with what he said. Hopefully eventually he'll learn to do it himself before he speaks, but for right now, we're all helping him.

"Yeah, I guess that was stupid. I guess the somethingwhateverhandstand is a Cheerios thing?" He popped the top of his soda and drank deeply.

"Got it in two." I hesitated, but his eyes were lively and interested, telling me to continue on. "It's a level three move, and Liam said he's never seen someone master it as quickly as I did." I wanted him to understand how wonderful this was.

If he didn't, he certainly hid it well. "Cool! So when do I get to see you do it?"

That wasn't as easy as it sounded. Coach Sylvester was getting increasingly paranoid about our cheers being copied, so she had moved us to only inside practices, with no spectators, period. She had tried to convince Figgens to get us a security system that required fingerprints to gain entry, but he had refused. Apparently her blackmail wasn't as useful as she had thought it was.

"Probably not until the competition." A thought popped into my head. "Hey, are you coming to the competition? It's in Florida, and it's the week after Spring break. Spring Break is New York, remember? So we can see a Broadway show together?"

No matter how many times I said that, I was shocked at how grown up it sounded. I was planning a vacation with Finn. Carole had already accepted Dad's invitation to spend Spring break with us, so I knew that he would be there. The thought of being able to introduce Finn to the magic of Broadway was really exciting.

He grinned. "I remember. How can I not remember when you remind me about once a day?"

"I don't remind you that often, Silly." I kissed his nose, and he grinned at me, just like always.

It was all very normal, but it wasn't at the same time. There was an almost physical barrier between us that hadn't been there before. No matter how many times I told him that I had had nothing to do with his moving in or being relegated to the living room couch, he still didn't seem to believe me. Or maybe he did, and he was just bound and determined to punish me right along with Dad and Carole.

They weren't oblivious to it, either. Dad had attempted to coax Finn out of hiding with snacks and sports games, but he was politely rebuffed every time. No, Finn was tired, or had homework, or had to practice some of his vocals for Glee. Maybe another day.

Carole tried as well, and he was a little more responsive to her. This was mostly because he wasn't given a choice in the matter. He didn't want to help with dinner or unload the dishwasher? Too bad. She was his mother and she was to be respected. She had a power over him that Dad lacked.

But even Carole couldn't pull him out of his funk. He didn't want to show off his outfit and make-up for his KISS routine, and he wasn't interested in my Lady Gaga one. Even worse, he had started to stiffen or jerk away when I reached out to touch him. It was subtle, and it wasn't every time, but it was definitely there. My boyfriend was turning into nothing but a bundle of nerves, and I had no way of stopping it. "How are you feeling, Cowboy?"

"Ok." At my skeptical look, he amended his comment. "Tired."

I rubbed his shoulder, feeling the almost in perceptional flinch. "I know. I wish I could do something to help."

It had only taken two nights for Finn to be caught sneaking down into my bedroom. All he had been doing was sleeping, but Dad had busted us after he came down for a glass of water and found Finn missing. It didn't exactly take a genius to figure out where he had gotten off to and it ended with him screaming both of us awake and unceremoniously returning Finn to the couch with a few veiled threats about what would happen if he got off of it.

Now he and Carole were both coming down at least once a night to make sure Finn was where he was supposed to be. It worked, but it also woke Finn up every time they came down the stairs, which didn't help him with getting more sleep. He shrugged, expertly responding to my words and pulling away from my hand at the same time. "Yeah. It's fine."

Except it was anything but. "Are you sure?"

"I said it was fine!" His temper flared up suddenly, startling me.

"Ok. " I held up my hands to signal I wasn't a threat. "Easy Cowboy."

He sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Sorry. It's just….sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me today."

Then he visibly brightened. "Maybe you could show me your Cheerios move?"

The sudden change in mood may have fooled some people, but it didn't fool me. The anger that had caused him to snap at me was still in there, lurking around the corners of his eyes and just waiting to come back out.

I could have called him on it, and maybe later I'll end up wishing that I had, but I didn't. It was partially due to a desire not to rock the boat and partially due to…well, I guess it was fear.

Finn doesn't realize it, but he holds all of the cards in our relationship. All of them. I won't let him push me around, and he doesn't try. Pushy really isn't in Finn's nature.

But being spiteful and letting other people push him around is. If Finn decided to break up with me today, he could. It would be painful, but did I really want to be with someone who didn't want me? Please, I had more respect then that. I would survive.

Finn would survive, too. Actually, Finn would probably do better then survive. If he obviously rejected me, it sent a message to the school as a whole that I was a target again. And I could see him doing it. Finn lashes out when he's hurt, and I could see him trying to hurt me as badly as possible.

Really? He didn't do it to Quinn, and she hurt him as badly as one person can hurt another. He didn't do that to Rachel. He called her out on her behavior in public, but he wasn't cruel about it. I think you're being paranoid.

"Kurt? The Cheerios thing?" He finished his soda and cocked his head, as if he expected me to bust out gymnastics in our kitchen.

I leaned forward hugged him tightly. "I would need at least three people and 15 feet of running room. Sorry, Cowboy, it's going to have to wait."

"Oh." The disappointment in his voice made me feel better. He might hate Coach Sylvester (with good reason), but I rated over his petty feud. "I guess I'll get to see it at Nationals. Hey, wouldn't it be cool if you got to do Nationals for Cheerios and Nationals for Glee? That would be like the coolest year ever for you."

This was already the coolest year ever for me. I had friends, I had two activities I loved, and I had Finn. Even if I got nothing else, this year had been amazing. "You make my year amazing."

He immediately turned pensive. "You know, my year has kind of sucked in a lot of ways. I broke my arm, the dudes on the team treat my like crap, and my girlfriend slept with Puck and told me the baby was mine. Is it weird that she hasn't even had Drizzle yet and I already miss her?"

Sometimes it's hard to tell when Finn is just thinking out loud and when he wants an actual answer, so I waited. When he didn't continue after a few seconds, I spoke up. "It's not weird. You thought that you were going to be a father, and that's the one of the biggest things that can happen to someone. When you spend that much time getting ready for something, it's a huge disappointment to find out it's not happening after all." I hoped I was expressing myself well, because this was so huge. Finn didn't like to talk about Quinn or Drizzle, and his emotions about the entire situation seemed to change day to day. Sometimes he was angry, and sometimes he was sad, and sometimes he professed not to care at all. At least he pretended not to. He obviously did, but I never felt like I was the one who should talk to him about it.

"Yeah. It's just kind of freaky to think about. I'm sad about it, but I'm glad, too. She's not my responsibility, even if I do love her. Right?"

That was the logical way to look at it, thought logic tended to have very little to do with emotion. But if he wanted to take comfort in that fact, I was ok with it. "Right."

"Right." He sounded uncertain rather then flippant. "But, anyway, this year kind of sucked, but it was a lot of cool things, too. I have some new friends, and I have Glee, and I have you. If none of the sucky stuff happened, I wouldn't have any of that. I guess it's a good year for me, too.

I reached for him again, and he let me, though it still wasn't quite right. He was relaxed, but he didn't mold to mold to my body the way he used to. "So things are going alright?"

"Yeah." I shot him a questioning look and he shrugged. "It'll be better soon."

That wasn't really what I had asked, and I was ready to push, but Dad abruptly appeared. "Oh, hi, Finn. When did you get home?"

"I've been home for a while. Like, an hour or something."

That was another thing that I didn't understand about Finn. He had just lied to Dad, but why? He had permission to be out, and he was back within a reasonable time. But he had done it without hesitation and without shame. Was he lying to me just like he had lied to Dad? I had always thought that I could tell when Finn was lying, but I was finding out that he was better at a few things then I would have suspected.

"Oh. Did you and Puck grab something to eat? Because there's leftover pot roast in the fridge if you didn't. Or I could make you a burger real quick."

Dad has no idea how to handle Finn, so he swings between being strict and doing whatever he can to appease Finn and keep him happy. He wouldn't have forced me to eat pot roast if I didn't want it, but he wouldn't have offered to make me something else either.

Ironically, his efforts made Finn even more suspicious of him. Finn likes stability, and he likes routine, and Dad wasn't exactly providing either. How was he supposed to know how to act when he was either being catered to or ordered around?

Finn did need more supervision and guidance then I did, but Dad would be better served to just back off and let Finn come to him. A few ball games, especially if Dad would sneak him a beer or two, and he would have Finn eating out of his hand. Let Carole handle all the discipline, and just relax. He wanted Finn to like him, but that was something that was just going to have to come in time.

Sure enough, Finn was shying away. "No thank you. Pot roast is fine. Later, though."

It's something else I've noticed, just to add to the list of Finn's quirks. He doesn't like eating with the family. He eats with me at school, and I know that he and Carole ate together before they moved in. He even ate with all of us when Dad and Carole took us out on dates. But now he wouldn't. Eating together is one of the simplest and most binding measures of a family, and he was sending a clear statement by refusing to have anything to do with it.

Once Dad left, I rubbed Finn's side. "He's not going to hurt you, Cowboy."

"I know." He stepped back. "Look, I have a lot of homework and stuff and Mr. Ellis is going to be pissed off if I fail another test. I'll see you later."

The dismissal stung, but I tried once more. "Do you need me to help you study?"

"Nah, its ok." He must have seen the hurt look on my face, because he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. "I just need a little time to myself."

Then he was gone, vanishing to wherever Finn went to when he was avoiding us all. He popped out briefly to tell me goodnight and offer me a rushed kiss on the lips, but that was it. No promises of trying to sneak down later, no groping my butt. For Pradas sake, he didn't even give me any tongue. I kiss Mercedes with more passion.

I made him waffles with syrup the next morning, which did a lot to soften his attitude and earn me a sticky kiss that ended up ruining my morning face routine. "Thanks, Kurt, it was awesome."

He walked me to class, but I knew that this was the last time I would see him for the day. Our lunches overlapped, but the boys had been taking the extra time to work on their KISS stuff. Without Rachel and her natural ability to block out and work on the most theatrical piece possible, they had to be scrambling to come up with something spectacular.

Though Rachel hadn't exactly been a huge help lately. Despite her initial enthusiasm, especially for the espionage, she had suddenly become withdrawn and moody. She still practiced with us, but it almost felt like she was going through the motions rather then attacking the song like a rabid wolverine.

She didn't want to hang out with us, but Jesse was her new best friend. They were always together, whispering and keeping the rest of us out. On the one hand, it was nice not to have her slinking around, stealing all of the solos and shooting sideways looks at Finn, but it was sad as well. Even though I didn't always like her, and was sometimes downright mean to her, she was still one of us. I could still remember how she had had the chance to out me in front of everyone, but hadn't. Or, longing looks aside, the way she had backed off of Finn and done nothing to sabotage our relationship.

Plus. I still couldn't bring myself to trust Jesse. Vocal Adrenaline was like the mafia. You didn't leave them, ever. We're talking about a group that held a senior back for an additional four years just because he was the only one who could land gymnastics move. Finn didn't trust him either, which was more then good enough for me. He's much better at reading people then he is at reading books.

Oh, come on. Not that I don't think Jesse's evil, because he is, but let's be realistic. Rachel spends all of her time with Jesse because he's her brand new boyfriend. They're still in the puppy love stage where everything is amazing. You and Finn are just coming out of that.

Maybe that was true, but there was still something about all of this that was making my skin crawl. There had to be something I wasn't seeing.

The reason I wasn't seeing it was probably that I was too busy showing off my Lady Gaga outfit and chatting with Tina to care much about Rachel Berry and her love life.

Tina was chirping away about how much she liked her outfit, and how it was actually making her feel good about the fact that she couldn't wear the clothes that she actually wanted to. My own outfit looked great, and the platform shoes (also known as heels, but never out loud) were giving me a rather interesting perspective on the halls of William McKinley High. If this was what it was like to be Finn's height, I needed to go back to hoping for a growth spurt.

Naturally, the fact that I was happy sent out some sort of vibration that every cretin of McKinley High felt and had to respond to. It's like my pleasure is some sort of catnip to them. I didn't even make it down the hallway before I was rudely slammed to the side.

I caught myself and came back swinging. "Excuse me! Were you dropped on your heads!" Not my most eloquent response, but it would do.

"What was that?" Karofsky started towards me, and I felt myself shrinking back. Where was Finn when I needed him?

"I think you heard me." I tried to sound strong and failed miserably. "I'm just saying, if you want to pick on me, that's fine, but don't throw around a girl."

Azimio stepped even closer. "Well, you know, lately we haven't been able to tell the difference."

He kept talking, but I was no longer listening. Instead I was trying to force back tears. I was used to being called a girl, but this time it hurt worse then usual. I wasn't sure why, though I suspected that my earlier argument with Finn, though forgiven, had left its mark.

I had an argument for that. One about theatricality, and how my outfit was exactly like their football uniforms. About how I had the rights to dress however I felt best expressed myself. A speech that I had carefully rehearsed. Unfortunately, it wouldn't come out. Usually I could count on my mouth to get me out of things like this (even if it was my mouth that had gotten me into the situation in the first place.), but this time I had nothing.

My babbling was cut off by Azimio's fist hitting the locker just a few inches from my face. "Yeah? While the next time you feel like expressing yourself, don't be surprised if my fist expressed itself on your chin. Ok?"

I snapped something back, which led to more homophobic slurs. This was my life, welcome to it. I wanted to keep going, but Tina's hand on my arm held me back. If this devolved into a physical fight, I would lose, and lose hard. At the very least, I would ruin the outfit I had worked so hard on. My performance was in just a few hours, and I wanted it to be perfect. She gave me a light squeeze. "He's not worth it."

Of course he wasn't. But how many times could I be expected to turn the other cheek on this one? There came a point where someone had to pay, and why did it always end up being me?

I needed Finn to do something to help this situation, and fast. Even if he was on the outs with these guys right now, he had to have some sway with them, right? After all they had been his teammates for a long time.

Are you kidding me? Finn is probably the only person in this school with less pull then you. You're that weird gay kid, but you've always been that. In their minds, Finn is a traitor. Face it, they hate him more then they hate you. And by the way? They're harder on him as well. This isn't a fight that he can help you with.

Well, he was going to have to do something. I couldn't manage on my own, and none of the adults were going to help. He was just going to have to get over his own discomfort and deal with the problem at hand.

He was late to Glee, though, and slid in right after Mr. Shue, so I didn't get a chance to say anything to him. I raced through last minute prep for our number, then took my place. This was my favorite Lady Gaga song, and I was determined to do it justice.

Dance comes easily to me, and I didn't miss a single step. This was the sort of performing I loved, and my body responded naturally to it. Even with the bulky costume, I was confidant that this was one of my best performances ever.

Judging by the enthusiastic applause we got, everyone else agreed with me. I raced over to Finn, who gave me kiss. "You were fantastic." He dropped his voice. "Sexy as hell."

I sat down next to him and laid my head on his shoulder. Finn's body always runs warm, and his smell was comforting. One had wrapped around my side to rest on my hip. He didn't try anything, but at least he was there. I tipped my face up to whisper in his ear. "Are you riding home with me today?"

His lip curled a bit, just like it always did when I called my house his home. "No. We have to get in a little more practice so our song will be as good as yours."

My face flushed, just like it did every time Finn paid me a compliment. Knowing that everyone could see it just made me blush harder. Still it felt amazingly good to know that Finn felt that way towards me. I slipped my hand over his, and entwined our fingers. "Love you, Cowboy."

"Love you, too."

He left with the rest of the guys at the end of the day, off to do whatever they were working on. I wasn't surprised when he missed dinner with the family, but it was a shock when he wasn't home by 9. That was Carole's cut off time for staying out on a school night, and dangerously close to the time he liked to go to bed. She caught me looking at the clock and smiled. "I told him he could spend the night at Puck's so he could get a little extra practice time in. Did he forget to tell you?"

Knowing Finn, it was less forgetfulness and more a deliberate omission. He's been walking on eggshells with all of us, and I think he's afraid to say or do anything that might cause a fight. Before it had just been him versus Dad and Carole. Now I had slipped over to the other side.

I hated that Finn felt that way around me. It had only been a few weeks ago that he would have not only told me that he was going to Puck's but invited me along. Now everything was falling apart.

But I couldn't tell Carole that. Even though he hasn't said much to her, she knows that Finn's upset and unhappy, and it's not going to take much more for her to do something drastic about it. She loves Dad, and I'm pretty sure she loves me, too, but Finn is her only son, and he's her priority right now. I didn't need to give her any ammunition to take him and leave our house.

So I faked a smile. "Yeah, he did. I'm not surprised, though. I mean, he forgot Glee practice on Tuesday, and almost left the house without his pants last week." I tried to look as innocent and nonplussed about the situation as possible.

It worked and she relaxed. "He gets it from his father. Chris lost more things in a week then I have in my entire lifetime."

I was all ears. Carole almost never talked about Finn's father, and I knew that Finn was uncomfortable asking because he hated to make her sad. But he hoarded every bit of information that she let slip, and this had to be a new one. Me having something new to tell him was a sure way to smooth over Finn's frazzled nerves. "What kind of things?"

"Everything. He wasn't quite the tornado that Finn is, but he was just as disorganized. I'm pretty sure that we didn't have one entire week without him losing his keys, driver's license, or beeper." She smiled to herself. "Yes, believe it or not, this was before everyone had a cell phone."

It was strange to think it wasn't that long ago that that had been true. "Once he even forgot Finn! I started backing out of the driveway before I realized the car seat was empty."

That sent me off on a mental tangent about what it would be like one day when Finn and I had kids of our own. He had already told me that he wanted them. I was a bit more ambivalent, but I certainly wouldn't be opposed to a little Finn running around. Two of me might cause the universe to implode, though, so we might need to be careful about that.

I stepped closer to Carole, though not quite close enough to touch. "If I wanted to spend the night somewhere on a school night, would you let me?"

She recognized the game immediately. "I would have no issue with it. But the final approval would have to come from your father. Why, did you want to spend the night somewhere?"

I had suspected that trying to play them off of each other wasn't going to work. "No. I was just curious."

Without Finn in the house, the tension level dropped dramatically. I did my homework downstairs so I wouldn't have to watch our parents make kissy-face at each other, so I wasn't as affected as I usually was. I still wasn't completely happy about the situation, but it was tolerable without Finn around to egg the discomfort on.

But I also recognized that I had it way easier then Finn did. I hadn't been uprooted from my home, and at least I had a bedroom to retreat to. All he had was an inflatable mattress and a set of sheets that had been washed and didn't even smell like home any more. For someone who already had issues with change, this was a miserable situation.

I couldn't fix it for him, though. All I could do was be as supportive as possible until he figured things out on his own. To that end, I snuck into the kitchen after dinner and whipped up some chocolate chip cookies. Also, since Finn wasn't around, I was able to indulge in licking the batter up without him making sad puppy eyes and begging for a lick of his own.

Naughty calories! You'll just have to find an even naughtier way to burn them off. Hmm….maybe Finn can help.

I was counting on Finn's help. Since there was no one to see me do it, I turned Pandora on on my laptop and danced around the room, letting myself go. If Finn were here, he would have no doubt joined me, throwing himself into the music with reckless abandon. I wished I had his ability to not care what others thought and just enjoy myself.

Finn likes his cookies soft and a little bit raw in the center, since I'm pretty sure he thinks Salmonella is a feminine product. I had to carefully watch them so none of the edges burned. I was going to give them to Finn after his performance, to let him know that he had done a good job. And if he didn't do a good job, he was getting them anyway. Trying to put our Lady Gaga number together had been hard, and that was without dealing with Finn's scatterbrainedness or Pucks' obsession with fire. Not to mention trying to work Artie in in his wheelchair. He seemed excited about it, and he hadn't gone to any of the adults for help, so it was going to be interesting at the very least.

I didn't end up seeing Finn until lunch the next day, and he was too excited to eat much. If I had asked for it, he would have probably jumped up on the lunch table and kissed me in front of everyone. It was a tempting thought, and the fantasy was wonderful, but it had to remain just that. The reality wasn't going to be anywhere near as pretty.

Their performance was scheduled for the free period after lunch. Usually Finn would have tutoring, but I was just going to have to help him out myself. His excitement was still going strong, which made it hard to get his make-up applied properly. The fact that he kept trying to work his hand down my pants didn't help either. I finally resorted to slapping the offending appendage. "Finn Hudson! Stop it or no one is going to be able to tell who you're supposed to be."

He huffed an irritated sigh, but he did settle down and sit still so I could draw the lines on his face with an eyebrow pencil. It would make filling in with stage make-up so much easier. I was done with the white and starting on the black when someone pounded on the door. "Shit, Hummel! Get your lips off Finny's dick and hurry up. The rest of us need our make-up done, too."

Screw Puck. I wasn't good enough to sing with them, but I could still do their make-up, just like a good little gay boy. "Hold your horses, Noah. We'll be done when we're done."

Still a little sensitive about being excluded aren't you? I thought you were over that.

Yeah, I had thought I was over it, too. But the exclusion still stung, even if there wasn't anything I could do about it now. "I'm almost done with Finn."

"You can totally put your lips on my dick. They can wait until we're done."

I took one more swipe across his face and smiled at my handiwork. "Finn, you're perfect."

His head ducked and he shook it slightly. It was cute when compliments embarrassed him like that, which made me want to kiss him. Unfortunately, I didn't want a mouth full of make-up, and his face and neck were totally covered, so I had to settle for blowing him one. "Send in the clowns, Cowboy."

"Ok." He ambled out to appreciative gasps and mummers. At least I could do something right in their eyes. Puck's voice rose above rabble. "Finny, go start getting the fireworks set up. I'll go next, and then I'll come help, ok?"

Finn rumbled his assent, and Puck replaced him. He sat, but his attention remained on the door. It was only because I was listening so hard to try and figure out what he was listening for that I heard the click of Finn closing the door. As soon as he was sure his best friend was out of earshot, he spun on me. "What the hell are you doing to Finn?" His voice dripped with acid.

He wasn't as good at it as I was, though, so I just rolled my eyes and pushed him back. "I haven't done anything to Finn. I have no idea what you're talking about." It would have sounded better if my voice didn't crack halfway through.

"Cut the crap, Hummel. Finn's my boy, and it's my job to take care of him. God knows the big lug can't take care of himself."

The fact that Finn's desperation was obvious to even Puck made me snappish. "Does your idea of taking care of Finn include sleeping with his girlfriend and attempting to pass off the resulting spawn as his? Because you've done a bang up job of that."

He rolled his eyes. "Really Flufferbutt? That's the best you can come up with? Because that's ancient history."

Flufferbutt? That was a new one on me, but I refused to be distracted by it. "Until Quinn drops your little Puckling, it's not over. He gets it thrown in his face every time we practice and he has to look at her belly. So don't tell me that this was nothing and everything's forgiven."

That speech would have distracted Finn, but Puck can be an oddly tenacious creature. "Don't change the subject. Finn's not eating, not sleeping, and spending all of his time hiding from his new family. Does that sound like a happy person to you?" His voice, while never leaving a whisper, turned harsh. "He fell asleep playing Halo last night."

Even thought I had known that things were bad, it still hurt to hear. "I'm trying! I can't make Dad give him his own room or let him sleep downstairs. We're getting an addition up so he can have some space."

"Well you better do something, because you're fucking him up. And when he suffers, everyone does. This group is falling apart, and it all comes back to you and him."

Great, so all of this was my fault. Of course it was, I was the outsider here. I was the one who was different, so it was easy to blame me. "Ok, Noah. What would you like me to do about this? Tell me how to boss both of our parents around, and arrange everything to make Finn happy. Because I'm open to suggestions."

"Fuck if I know. You're the one who's supposed to be so smart, why don't you figure it out." The makeup I had caked on his face twisted it into a bizarre mask and made it hard to read.

"He's your best friend. If you love him as much as you're claiming you do, why don't you give me some help? Or do you just want to bitch about the fact that your boy likes other boys now. Because I think that's what this is really about."

He pulled away so we were face to face. "Then you're a fucking idiot. This isn't about who Finn fucks. I don't care where he sticks it."

Deep down, I knew that that was true. Puck could be a jerk, and he had certainly used my homosexuality as a target in the past, but so had about a thousand other things. I had no friends or social support, which made me an easy target. Me being gay was just a jumping off point.

"Fine then, Hummel. Don't listen to me. But don't come crying to me when it all blows up in your fucking face." He stood up and stalked out of the room without so much as a thank you.

Artie wheeled in next. He, at least, had enough manners to thank me graciously for doing his stage make-up. Since he seemed to be at least marginally on my side, I tentatively asked his opinion. "How does Finn seem to you?"

"Oh." He pushed his glasses up on his nose, a sure sign that he was nervous. "He seems, alright, I guess. He's doing awesome with helping us out. Rachel should let him be in charge of things more often."

I certainly agreed, but that wasn't what I had meant. "No, I mean, how does he seem in general? He's been kind of quiet and withdrawn at home, and I wanted to make sure he was alright."

"He's…alright, I guess. He hasn't said anything about being unhappy."

No, Finn wouldn't. He had already tried to express his displeasure, and nothing had changed. Why would he keep going? "But he's eating alright and seems pretty happy?"

"Um…yeah he seems happy. He's pretty mushy when he talks about you, but we don't mind that. I don't think he's 100% on living with your father though. He kind of shuts down when we try and talk about it."

He was obviously uncomfortable with the subject, which made me think that he knew more then he was telling. But I had already pushed things, and I didn't want to further alienate the rest of the boys. "Thanks, Artie. Good luck up there."

"No problem." He wheeled out, looking disturbed and worried.

Mike and Matt were the only ones left, but I didn't bother asking them anything. The Glee club stuck together against outside forces, but we had our own subgroups within it. Matt and Mike belonged to Finn's, and they wouldn't do or say anything that could be constituted as breaking the guy code. When it came to those two, I was out of luck.

So I made small talk instead. "Are the five of you really going to have fireworks?"

Mike grinned. "Yep. Puck knows a guy who came in and set them all up. It's pretty awesome."

Of course Puck knew a guy who played with fire professionally. He probably knew every miscreant in a 65 mile radius. "Sounds cool."

"Yeah. How come you didn't want to do it with us?"

"Nobody asked me." My voice was clipped.

"Oh. Why didn't you say that you wanted to do it with us? We would have made room for you."

That was true. I had bitched at Finn for not inviting me to join, but he had never said that I wasn't welcome. In fact, he probably would have been delighted if I had asked to join. But the truth was, I didn't want to. I wanted to do Lady Gaga with the girls, not KISS with the boys.

And you did. None of them tried to pressure or force you to do something you didn't want to, which is more courtesy then you gave them. No one is innocent in this debacle, so don't think you get to play that card.

I had just wanted to be asked, instead of always feeling like I was butting in on their boy time. "Maybe next time."

"That's cool. We missed you over at Arties."

It felt good to hear that. "Definitely next time. Just a little more and…you're done!"

False modesty aside, all five of them looked great. If this whole thing blew up, it wasn't going to be because of my make up work. More likely, it would be because of Puck's obsession with fire.

Mike gave me a quick slap on the back. "Thanks, Kurt. See you in a bit."

They would need a little bit of time to set up, and I didn't want to distract them or ruin the surprise. So I headed across the school to find Mercedes and Tina. I always pack my own lunch. So I headed to the choir room instead, so I could wait for them. The Glee club might have moved up a tiny bit in status since winning Sectionals (though only a little bit. We were still below just about everyone but the square dancing club and possibly the Star Trek Club.), but it wasn't enough to risk the cafeteria unprotected. No one except Coach Sylvester bothered us in the practice room, so it was safe.

Sure enough, they came in with two drinks and an order of French Fries to split. I took a single fry and listened in to their conversation. I don't know how she does it, but Mercedes knows every little bit of gossip floating around McKinley. She knew who was together, who had broken up and who was caught with their pants down. I listened in silence, even though I didn't know most of the people she was talking about. It was just how things went with us. Once the gossip was out of the way, we would get to our own problems.

Today it was Tina who broke the ice and asked what they all had to be wondering. "How are things going with Finn and your father?"

I flapped my hands in frustration. "Horrible. He…he gets this look when Dad talks to him. It's this creepy 'I hate you, but I know better then to show it so I'm just going to settle for doing everything as sloppily and resentfully as possible'. It's so not Finn."

That wasn't quite it, but it was the closest I could come to the utter repulsion that flared in Finn's eyes every time Dad got close. He was punishing Dad for making him move, yes, but I couldn't help but feel like it was more then that. Bringing it up directly, though, resulted in me getting the cold shoulder. Finn's silence on the subject was absolute, even to me. "I don't know what to do about it."

"What about giving him a little-" She used a French Fry to mimic a certain sexual act that Finn was rather fond of.

"I've tried. I've done things with Finn this week that I was pretty sure I was going to save for my wedding night. And, no, I'm not describing what those are. God, the two of you are perverts."

They exchanged looks and giggled. They knew that I would eventually crack, so all they had to do was lay back and wait. I was saved however, by a buzzing against my hip. I grabbed my phone and read the quick message that Finn had fired off. READY!

I stood up. "Looks like the boys are ready to perform for us. Do you think it's going to be any good?"

I had been optimistic to Finn's face, but I really had no idea if they could actually pull off a major performance without any help. The only reason that our Lady Gaga routine had gone off so well was that Rachel was more like an adult with severe OCD then a teenager. We were still pretty much kids, and we had only been doing this for a few months.

Letting us try things on our own was a good idea, but doing KISS was so ambitious. They had managed to nail the costumes and make-up, but even Rachel was intimidated by the thought of the amount of stage dressing that Finn and Puck had talked about. She had much preferred to focus on the dancing. But I guess with Artie in a wheelchair and Finn's…..well might as well just say that Finn's a worse dancer then Artie; I could see where they would choose to focus on the dazzle.

"I think they'll surprise us. I don't think that they're anywhere as helpless as they seem sometimes." Mercedes tossed the remains of the French fries in the trash. "Anyway, I think it's a cool idea, even if it ends up sucking."

I may or may not have gasped a bit when I saw the auditorium. The stage set up was impressive, even in the dim light. Maybe Mercedes was right.

From the first guitar riff, the five of them owned the stage. Someone must have helped them determine just how much light they needed, because the stage was dim except for the bursts of flame from Puck's pyrotechnics. The vocals were fantastic, the choreography looked just like the real band (including Finn doing something with his tongue that brought back some extremely fond memories) and even the explosions were perfectly timed. I hated to admit it, but I think they managed to be even more theatrical then we had.

They were all breathing hard when they finished, but it was drowned out by our thunderous applause. Finn bounced off the stage and into my arms, covering me in kisses. For once, I barely noticed that he was smearing me with the sort of make-up that was all but certain to clog my pores. I kissed him back just as enthusiastically. "You were fantastic."

He gave me an uninhibited smile, the kind I hadn't realized was missing over the past few weeks. "Thanks."

I stood up on my tiptoes and whispered in his ear. "That was awesome! Cowboy, you did it!"

My response was more kisses. "Thanks."

I pulled out the cookies. "I made these for you. And the rest of the boys, of course, but get what you want first."

What Finn wanted was well over half the plate, but everyone else noticed the treats and charged in. I pulled Finn out of the resulting fray and hugged him tightly. "I'll make you some more at home."

"Ok. So, we really did a good job?"

"The best. You may have even been a little better then I was. But don't tell Rachel." I ran my hand down his back.

"It would have been better if you had done it with us, though. A contest was kind of fun, but I like it better when we all do the same thing."

Mr. Shue clapped his hands. "You boys nailed it. Great job. And Puck, the explosions went of very well, but maybe let's cut down on them for the future. You know that we don't have any insurance."

Puck nodded. "I knew exactly what I was doing."

That was what he always said, right before everything went south. Mr. Shue nodded at him. "How about we save the fire for outside performances? Now, are the five of you going to have enough time to get that make-up off?"

Even as he said it, the bell was ringing. Finn blinked. "Guess not. Oh well, I didn't really bring anything to get it off with anyway."

Typical Finn. He was great at getting himself into a situation, but not so good at getting himself back out. I gave him one last squeeze. "Meet me at the car after school."

He nodded and bounced off, not seeming to care that he was dressed like a refugee from a S&M club. I bit down on a laugh and followed him out.

I was still laughing to myself when I hooked up with Tina outside of Biology. Even though she was just as impressed with the boy's performance as I was, she's also still pissed off at Artie, so she had to try and cover it up. "I don't know, it was kind of crazy, and Finn kept doing this weird thing with his tongue- Kurt, stop making that face! I know that you don't mind the tongue thing."

No, I certainly didn't. In fact, I could think of a few things that he could do with that tongue later tonight. Or right after school. Or in the janitor's closet. Or- my thoughts trailed off as I met Karofsky's eyes across the hallway. He didn't make a sound or move a muscle, but he didn't need to. His aggression was clear.

Despite myself, I backed up a bit. Yes, there was something to be said for standing up for yourself, but there was also something to be said for getting through the day without getting the crap beaten out of me.

To complete my day, Finn shot me a quick text. HANGING OUT WITH THE GUYS. PUCK WILL TAKE ME HOME. DONT HOLD DINNER. CYL.

Well, wasn't that special. My boyfriend had just given the performance of his life, not to mention been promised cookies, and he would rather hang out with his friends then me. Well, good for him. Good for fucking Finn Hudson. My fingers tightened on the phone until I felt them burn.

"Kurt?" Tina's voice was apprehensive. "Is something wrong?"

I put on my cheery face. What was happening was between Finn and I was private, and I had no desire to have all of McKinley know our business. "It's nothing. Hey, how about you and I go out after school? I have a sudden urge to do some redecorating. Plus, we'll try out a few more outfits for you."

Tina doesn't say much, but I know that she's smart. She had to know that something was up, and that I was avoiding going home for a reason. But she also knew when it was better to keep quiet. "Yes to decorating, no to more clothes. I know how I want to dress, and I'm not interested in any other style."

I could think a million styles that would look great on her, but I respected the way she stood her ground. "Sure."

Tina and I very seldom hung out together outside of school, unless it was part of a larger group, and I was surprised at how easy things were with her. She was easygoing, but not afraid to give her opinion when it was needed. Part of me wanted to ask her opinion about Finn and everything that was going on, but my pride held me back. Everyone in the Glee club had been very accepting of Finn and I, but it was in a 'oh, how cute' sort of way. It was like our relationship wasn't really real, just more of a window dressing. If we fought and sniped at each other like a normal heterosexual couple, would we be as precious and easy to accept?

Thoughts like that were always at the back of my mind, though never occurred to Finn. He soldiered forward as if our relationship was totally normal save for the number penises in it. He gets why it has to be a secret to the rest of the school, of course, but I don't know that he really understands it. Not like I do.

Plus, there was the small matter of my pride. I didn't want to have to ask someone else to help me figure out Finn. I wanted to be able to do it myself. If I loved Finn enough, this should be easy, right?

So I held my tongue, even though I could hear Galinda shrieking with rage in the back of my brain, and just enjoyed the shopping trip. This was going to be a fun chance to change my entire room around. Since everything else was changing, why shouldn't I get a chance to enjoy some newness as well? Ooh, maybe Finn would let me decorate the new addition for him. If he wouldn't, Dad might allow me to at least do the bathroom.

Tina and I parted ways after shopping, and I lost myself in moving furniture and painting walls. This wasn't the first, or even the 10th time I had done such a thing, so I moved with amazing speed. The plan was already in my head, clear as could be. I just had to make the room match my vision.

Carole brought down a plate of dinner, but didn't try and get me to come upstairs and eat with her and Dad. Though I was certainly grateful, it surprised me. Finn would have never been allowed to get away with doing that. I guess that Carole is just as uncertain with me as Dad was with Finn.

It was close to 11 before I was finished, but it was absolutely perfect. Expensive, of course, but exactly what I had wanted. I was tired, and I was thirsty, but none of those things mattered. I couldn't fix the problems outside of this room, but at least I could be safe in it.

I caught a small movement out of the corner of my eye and jolted, giving a surprised shriek. Finn was on the steps, leaning against the wall and staring at me. Something in the tuck of his chin and the shadows in his eyes made the hair on the back of my neck rise. "Finn! You scared me. How long have you been standing there?"

He shrugged, never taking his eyes off of me. It made me feel like a rabbit being studied by a fox. Any sudden moves might cause him to lunge. "A while." Even his voice was strange.

"Why are you just staring at me? I know I'm sexy, but you could have said something."

My attempt at humor fell flat. Finn just looked at me, then around the room. He still had traces of white make-up around his neck and jaw, and for some reason that really irritated me. My back stiffened and I stepped towards him.

Finn recognized the aggression in my movement and came down a step. "How come you went and messed up your room? Why do you get to do whatever you want all the fucking time!"

This wasn't about the room, or me. I knew it, and I knew that I had the power to stop things right here. So I kept my voice calm. "Why, do you not like it?"

"It looks like a Saudi Arabia whorehouse." His voice was low and cold.

Did he just…yes, he had just insulted my decorating skills! The man who couldn't match his own clothing and still couldn't tell his left side from his right thought he was going to tell me what to do in my own room within my own house. Not a chance.

A mean light shone in Finn's eyes when I drew in a sharp breath. He had hit me in the soft spot and he knew it. With deliberate slowness, he came down two more steps.

If he thought he was scaring me, he wasn't. Rage gave me strength and I crossed the basement to meet him. If Finn Hudson wanted a fight, guess what? He had just got one.