I guess I owe you guys an explanation? I'll just come out with it: My mom passed away recently, so I just haven't been able to write. So...yeah, awkard...Anyway, thanks for being patient with me, you guys. :) And on a less depressing note, you get to read about Jacin and Lucy again! Yay! So some time has passed since the last chapter, which you'll probably be able to tell, but just thought I should warn you guys ahead of time.

~Lucy~

My Old Friend,

There's something you ought to know. Please remember that I am telling you this not out of spite, but out of concern for your wellbeing. The boy you brought here has a past. I'm sure he's told you something about it, given the bond that you two so obviously share, but it's quite possible he hasn't told you everything.

He is no ordinary man, Lucy Heartfilia. You must have caution. Should he display unusual behavior, you must immediately seek out Johanne Metzger. I would tell you more, but I do not wish to concern you more than necessary; I only wish for your safety.

Good luck.

I'd read and re-read the letter a hundred times and each time the feeling got stronger. Dread. I should have known it couldn't have lasted forever. Despite how perfect our lives had been before I ripped open that stupid envelope, I couldn't help but feel buried under worry now. And, Stache-face, telling me less only made me worry more…you idiot.

I shoved the letter in my pocket. I had to talk to Jacin. I'd made the mistake of holding my tongue before, and so had he. I wasn't going to let that happen again. No matter what happened, I was going to get through it with him. I tried to forget how Mustache had made it sound like I was in some sort of danger because of Jacin. After seeing him with his brother it was hard to believe that he could hurt anyone ever. But, then again, I couldn't forget when he'd fought Natsu. I don't know how serious Natsu had been, but Jacin had defeated him so easily back then.

I didn't want to crack open that Pandora's box, though, so I focused on finding Jacin.

I asked a few people, and apparently he was talking to the Master. He'd been doing that a lot lately. I crossed my arms, frustrated, as I turned the corner. I almost stepped on Roawin.

"Hi, Lucy," he said happily, smiling up at me. He immediately latched onto me. "Good morning."

"Good morning," I replied, smiling and patting his head. I knelt down and kissed his forehead. He kissed me back, like he always did. He finished up our ritual by brushing away my bangs. "Hey, so is your brother still talking to the Master?"

It was like I'd just switched off Roawin's good mood as soon as I mentioned his brother. That concerned me more than anything else that had happened recently, maybe even the letter. If Roawin got upset when he thought about Jacin, something was seriously wrong. Normally, Roawin would beam and get energetic, but right then Roawin's shoulders slumped and he resting his head against my knee.

"Jacin always talks to the Master now," Roawin said quietly. I picked him up and he clung to me harder than usual.

"What's wrong, Roawin? You can tell me, you know?" I said, concerned.

"I know," he said, hiding his face in my chest.

"Roawin, if something's wrong you have to tell me, ok? I'll take care of it," I said, trying to reassure him. He is no ordinary man…

"Jacin always goes to sleep as soon as we get home and never plays with me anymore," Roawin grumbled.

"Isn't he just busy?" I asked. I had my own worries about that. Recently, Jacin had been spending less and less time with me. He hadn't really kissed me since we'd first gotten back to the guild. I'd tried to ignore it, but it was hard. Especially when I pretty much wanted to attack him every time I caught sight of his stupidly handsome face.

"No, we haven't gone on a job for days," Roawin said. My heart sank and a lump formed in my throat. I held Roawin tighter and he lifted his head. …should he display unusual behavior…

"I'm sure he wants to spend time with you, though. He loves you more than anything," I said, tapping Roawin's nose. I was trying to sound strong, but I wasn't sure if it was working.

It seemed, though, that Roawin had suddenly become a hundred times smarter and two hundred times more mature. His face grew serious and he put a hand on my cheek, "He doesn't sleep much, Lucy. He always yells in the night. It's scary." Roawin's eyes got watery, but he tried hard to choke his tears down like the little man he was.

I immediately hugged him tightly, both to comfort him and to hide the terror on my face. I couldn't let Roawin see how afraid I was all of a sudden. The combination of the things I'd noticed changing about him, the letter, and what Roawin had just told me made me seriously terrified that something was really wrong with Jacin. I loved him too much to be fearless.

"Sh, Roawin. I'll talk to him, all right? We'll figure it out," I said, stroking his curls. They tickled my nose and I found strength in the familiarity of their softness. I had to be strong, for Roawin. I had to face Jacin. I slowly set Roawin down. "I'm going to go find him right now. Go find Mira. I'm sure she'll give you some of that chocolate milk you love so much." I smiled.

He wiped his tears and tried to look tough, puffing up his little chest. He nodded and turned. I watched him go, but just as he was about to turn the corner he paused and looked back at me. "I can help stop the pain, but I can never cure him," he said; his eyes looked like they were staring right through me.

I didn't know what to say, so I was quiet for a moment trying to think about how to comfort him. I had to make Roawin feel safe. He loved his brother so much. They'd been together for the entirety of Roawin's life. Seeing the change in his brother, especially so suddenly, must have been terrifying for him.

"We have to cure him, Lucy," Roawin said. His eyes were sharp now. I simply nodded, meeting his eyes. He turned and went to find Mira. Roawin had changed.

I half-ran up the stairs to where I knew Jacin would be. He'd be with the Master. Considering what I'd learned from Roawin, he must have gone to the Master about what was happening. That he didn't come to me made a little sad and also even more scared. If it was something he couldn't bear to talk to me about, it was serious. …he hasn't told you everything…

I knocked on the Master's door. There was no answer for a long time, about a minute. Then, finally, the door cracked open. "Master?" I asked.

His face was dark as he looked up at me. "Lucy," he said, "Right now is not-"

"It's ok," a voice interrupted. I clenched my fists. Jacin appeared behind him and pulled the door open. He stepped outside. I immediately reached for him, not simply because I wanted to touch him but because I wanted to make sure he was real. I hadn't really looked at Jacin for at least three days, and, now that I had, my worst fears were confirmed. He looked so tired, drained. His usually gleaming blue eyes, full of life, were dull.

He must have seen the concern in my face because he put a hand on my shoulder and smiled, "I'm ok, Luce." I almost believed him, seeing him smile like that. It was so close to his real smile that I wanted to forget everything. But that would be impossible and unfair to Roawin and Jacin, not to mention stupid.

"I'll speak to you tomorrow then, Jacin," said Makarov, nodding. Jacin nodded in return as the Master slowly shut the door.

After it closed, Jacin hesitated to face me again. "Jacin," I said quietly. He didn't say anything, just continued holding my hand and led me down the hallway. My heart sank even farther and it showed when I next spoke. My voice cracked, "Jacin." His hand immediately tightened around mine, but he still didn't face me.

"How come you haven't told me anything? I'm not blind, Jacin. I can tell something's wrong," I said quietly. I wanted to scream and yell all of a sudden, but I somehow knew that Jacin was fragile right then. We turned the corner then stopped walking.

"Why are you hiding from me, Jacin?" I asked. I tried to turn him to face me, but he resisted. Maybe words couldn't reach him, so I slowly wrapped my arms around him. I closed them around his stomach and held him. We were quiet.

"I can't…" Jacin breathed. He trailed off.

"Can't what?"

"I don't want to ruin everything," he said, bringing his hands to his face. I was quiet, trying to interpret what he meant. Ruin…what? How?

"I've never been happier, Lucy," he said, but there was pain in his voice. "And I don't want to ruin that…" I started to withdraw with the intent of circling around him so I could see what he was really feeling in his eyes, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled my arms back around him. He whirled around and hid his face in my hair. He took a deep breath.

"Jacin, nothing you do could ruin us. I thought I told you that. No matter what, I'll still love you…So tell me, Jacin, because not knowing hurts more than knowing ever could," I said, sliding my hands along his tense back. I was glad he wasn't thinner than usual. At least he was eating.

He took a lock of my hair between his fingers, "How is it that you knew exactly what I wanted to hear?"

I smiled, "Because I know you." …he hasn't told you everything… I hoped he didn't hear the tiny parasite of doubt buried within my heart. I hated myself for doubting him, but there was obviously something he wasn't telling me. "Which is why you need to tell me the truth," I added.

He pulled away and looked into my eyes. His hand found its way up to my cheek. It felt so familiar and I hadn't realized I'd been missing it so much. His thumb barely touched the corner of my lips and he smiled. "You're so much stronger than me, Lucy," he said. His words surprised me.

"I don't know about that," I said. And I meant that. After what he'd been through, it was a miracle that he still had the will to live. I guess that miracle had a name, though. Roawin.

I withdrew my hand from his side and placed it over his. I kissed his palm. "Hey, Jacin. Tell me?" I looked up at him hopefully, trying to show him that I was ready to hear it.

"Roawin told you something?" Jacin said, sighing.

I smiled subtly, "You know him well." Their brotherly love always warmed my heart. "He's worried about you, you know."

Jacin nodded wearily, "I know, which is why I've been coming to the Master. I need to fix this. I can't make Roawin endure this any longer."

"Fix what?" I asked, no longer trying to hide my worry.

"It's usually at night, after I have the same dream…with my dad in it," he said, rubbing his eyes.

"Your dad," I repeated. I didn't know much about Jacin's family, only that they'd been a good one until…they weren't one at all. The pain of losing family was something I was familiar with, but the way his family passed was so much worse than my parents.

"He's always telling me that I don't belong here, that I should go somewhere. It gets worse sometimes. Sometimes I see my mom, too, and Annora." He finally opened his eyes again and he suddenly looked shocked. "You're crying," he said.

I blinked and then realized that he was right. I hastily wiped them away and stared at him, "Ok, go on."

"Are you ok?" I asked cautiously.

"Are you?" I asked.

He kissed my forehead, "Don't freak out when I tell you this, ok?" His voice wavered.

"No promises," I said. His lips lingered against my skin and I could feel his breath coming from his nose and tickling my eyelashes.

"When I wake up, my scar always hurts." I immediately looked up at him, my nails digging into his skin where I held him. I suddenly remembered everything that happened, the cold of Jacin's skin and the numbness I felt when I touched it. The sight of Drau's knife buried to the hilt.

"It's not just stinging, either. It feels like I'm getting stabbed over and over again," he said quickly, "And my brain stops working and I can't move and the numbness never comes like the first time and all I can do is wait for Roawin because whenever Roawin touches it all the pain just vanishes in an instant and I don't understand why, but…" He was rambling. He was afraid. I felt the tears well up again at seeing Jacin, one of the strongest people I knew, so weak. This may have been the real reason why he didn't want to tell me the truth. I'd always known there was a vulnerable part of Jacin somewhere deep inside him, but seeing it was different from knowing it existed. I was afraid, but, like I said, I still loved him. I loved all of Jacin, even his weakness.

I had to stop him, to show him what I felt. I reached up and took his face in his hands, gently cutting off his incoherent words with my lips. He was shivering a bit, but almost unnoticeably. I continued to hold his face and looked into his eyes. He was definitely afraid. He must have been trying to hide this from Roawin, too.

"You've always been strong, Jacin. You know that, right? For your family. For Abigail. For Roawin. Your whole life you've been strong, even if you didn't know it." He stared at me. I touched the corner of his eyes. "Jacin, it's ok if you aren't strong with me." His lips parted slightly like he wanted to say something but couldn't. "So let me help you," I said.

Relief flooded his eyes as a tear slid down his cheek, following his jawline and clinging to his chin. I let it fall onto my arm. It was all ok. He never stopped trusting me; he just didn't want to hurt me.

But just as quickly as relief had overcome him, panic seized his eyes. I remembered the first time I met him, when that same pair of eyes had stolen my breath. It wasn't my breath that was gone now. Jacin gasped and grabbed my arm tightly. "Not again," he whimpered.

"Jacin!?" I asked, my own panic level rising.

"Lucy," he gasped. He was shaking hard now, and sweating. I grabbed his arms to try and help him stay upright, but I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't support his weight, and we fell to the ground. I ignored that my knees were throbbing from their impact with the ground and held Jacin tightly. He was leaning heavily against me. I touched his neck and I could feel his pulse pounding beneath my fingertips.

"Lucy…Lucy," he repeated. He clutched his chest, digging his fingers into his skin.

"Jacin, what do I do?" I asked, panicking. My own pulse was pounding. I stroked his forehead, hoping against hope that someone would come…that someone could help us.

"Lucy, where are you?" he asked. He couldn't hear me. He couldn't see me. Jacin was far away. What was he seeing? Had his family returned to haunt him again?

"Help!" I shouted. Makarov's office was just around the corner. He must have heard me…unless he had left. I looked back down at Jacin. He was sobbing now, curling up and clinging to his shirt. My chest ached. I felt useless.

"Jacin," I choked. Then I remembered what he had said. Whenever Roawin touches it all the pain just vanishes in an instant.

I fought to pull away Jacin's shirt. He was holding it so tightly that I had to use all of my strength to move his arms away. My breath caught when I saw what was underneath. The grotesque scar stared up at me, but it was even worse than the last time I'd seen it in the Celestial World. It was blackened and seething, like dark tendrils were spreading along his torso. My tears fell down onto his chest. "Lucy," Jacin cried.

"Wait, Lucy! You can't-" Makarov started, rounding the corner. He was running towards us, but he was too late. By the time I'd heard him, my palm was already flat against Jacin's chest. I watched as the darkness slowly left Jacin's skin and his scar returned to normal. I sighed in relief as Jacin's glazed over eyes returned to normal. He was breathing hard and winced as he turned his head to look at me. He sat up slowly and touched his scar.

"What happened?" he asked, confused. He coughed a bit

"You collapsed, Jacin," I said quietly. I smiled, wiping my damp cheeks.

"Lucy!" Makarov's voice was sharp. My attention snapped towards him. His eyes were furious, and I was suddenly very afraid. Makarov, when he so desired, had that effect on people. "What have you done!?"

"I just helped him!" I yelled, suddenly feeling defensive.

"Helped me?" Jacin asked, still confused.

"How are you feeling?" Makarov asked, his anger rapidly replaced with concern.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, "I'm fine." I really was fine, too. I didn't feel anything.

"L-Lucy." Jacin's voice was shaking again. I looked at him, but he wasn't looking at my eyes. He was staring at something else. I followed his gaze to my hands. As soon as I saw them, I couldn't breath. I desperately tried to suck air in, but my lungs wouldn't cooperate. I squeaked and clutched my chest, but that only made it worse. The blackness on my hands, the same I'd just seen on Jacin's scar, rubbed off on my chest and started spreading there, too.

"Lucy!" Jacin shouted. He reached for me, but I flinched away. I didn't know if it was possible that, if he touched me, the blackness could spread to him, too. I stared into his eyes, willing him to understand. He withdrew his hand, but his face contorted in pain, like he the only thing he wanted in the world was to touch me. "Lucy."

"Lucy, try not to move much. It seems that will speed up the process. Jacin, we've only got one hope right now. Go get Abigail immediately!" Makarov said, his words rushed but steady and commanding. Without hesitation, Jacin sprinted down the hallway. I watched him disappear from my vision. I wanted to grab my throat or somehow force my lungs to cooperate, but the Master had told me not to move and I was going to listen to him.

Still, it was agonizing. I couldn't help but writhe as my body cried out for oxygen and my blood boiled. Is this the pain that Jacin had been feeling? How was he still sane? If I were to feel this every night, there would be no way that I could cling to my sanity through it all. The pain spread as the darkness did. The black tendrils wrapped around my legs and my stomach, getting closer and closer to my heart. It was terrifying. I couldn't think. I couldn't breath. Eventually, I couldn't even move.

Black spots were appearing in my vision by the time blurry shapes hurriedly moved around in front of me. It must have been Jacin coming back with Abigail. "Don't touch her, Jacin." It was the Master. I tried to move my fingers with all my might, but I couldn't. My eyes began to slide shut.

"I don't care about that!" Jacin yelled. I'm pretty sure it was Jacin who reached towards me, but someone stopped him. I was grateful. I'm sure if Jacin had touched me he would have been hurt, and that was the only thing I definitely couldn't stand.

"Don't be an idiot, Jacin!" It must have been Abigail who slapped his hand away. "Ok, Lucy. This better work," Abigail said. My eyes slammed shut. I was slipping.

I suddenly couldn't hear anything. Did they stop talking? Did they leave me? Was I alone? I began to doubt myself and I became insecure. But I stopped myself, clung to the bits of myself that hadn't been consumed by the darkness.

I tried to forget the darkness, forget the troubles I was facing. I forgot that my life was slipping through my fingers. I forgot that Jacin was probably in pain, watching me suffer. I forgot that if I died I'd be leaving Jacin, leaving Roawin, leaving Fairy Tail and all my friends. I forgot all that, and instead focused on one thing: the part of me that remained. The part of me that would always be with me. Jacin.

The darkness of my vision lit up brilliantly. I was suddenly warm, and Jacin appeared in front of me. I don't know if it's true that people's lives flash before their eyes when they're about to die, but if that was true, I guess Jacin was my life...

But it felt so real. I could feel his soft hair under the tips of my fingers, the slight scratchiness of his jawline and the twitching of a tiny muscle as I ran my fingers along his cheek. He didn't look tired in my mind, in my hallucination he was just like how I first met him. He was strong, handsome, happy. He smiled at me, but instead of feeling the fluttery, happy feelings, my heart ached. I wanted to see that smile for real. Everything was suddenly false. This wasn't the real Jacin I wanted the real one, the one that looked like he hadn't been sleeping for weeks, who loved his brother and I with everything he had, who was scared and needed me, who was probably so afraid right now. I wanted Jacin...and I wanted to live.

Then I could move my fingers again, and then my hands, then my forearms. I reached out and grabbed whatever it was that was giving me strength. Finally, my lungs started working again. I gasped for air, and my lungs tingled and scratched. I grasped my chest as the intense pain dulled. It didn't completely disappear, but I could finally let my muscles relax. I coughed over and over again and each breath was painful, but it was nothing compared to what it had been.

I finally opened my eyes. Everything was bright and it took a moment for me to calm down. My body was back to normal. I looked up and saw Abigail smiling at me. "You owe my, like, a thousand," she said, smirking. Tears sprung up and I nodded, starting to shake.

I realized she was holding my hands. I yanked my hands away in surprise. Would the blackness go to her now? "Don't worry, Lucy. Abigail is safe, and so are you." I turned to look at Makarov. He looked sort of tired and also a bit worried. I tried to thank him, but words wouldn't come out. My throat felt hoarse, just like my lungs.

"Lucy, I'm sorry." I was shocked. Jacin was sitting a few feet away from me, on his knees, his hands over his mouth and tears streaming down his face. "It's my fault," he said. I immediately reached for him, but paused. I looked to Makarov, silently asking him whether it was safe to touch Jacin again. Makarov just nodded and turned to walk away. "Abigail, why don't we leave these two alone for a moment," Makarov said and then looked to me, "We'll be right around the corner."

"More than fine with me," Abigail said, standing up and dusting off her knees, "I didn't want to see this love-fest anyway." Once they were gone I looked back to Jacin.

He was staring at me, his hands still over his face. Tears trickled in between his fingers, making their way down his face and finally falling to the ground. We stared at each other. I took in every aspect of him. His shoulder were shaking slightly with each gasp for air. His hair was mussed, more wild than usual. It looked almost as curly as Roawin's, little bits of his hair falling over his forehead and curling around the side of his face and his ears. His eyes were shining, red from the tears that were still falling. Jacin leaned forward, suddenly hiding his face from me. As he leaned forward, I caught sight of Othos's key. It comforted me that he still had Othos, still had his spirits to watch over him

But right now he needed me, and in a strange way, I wanted him to need me. I was a bit scared to touch him, so I slowly reached forward. He didn't lift his head, didn't look at me. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder and he immediately tensed. I watched as another silent tear fell and reached up to place my hand on his face. I could feel his warm breath on my arm and the dampness of his cheeks on my palm. He smoothly yet slowly, hesitatingly, kissed my palm. It was a gentle kiss, barely a brush of his soft lips against my skin.

I lifted his face up so that I could see him, but his eyes were closely. He looked pained, his eyebrows knit and little worry lines marring his face. I put a hand on either side of his face, willing him to understand with just my touch that nothing was as bad as he thought it was. I'd told him, right? That I'd always love him. I expected to see a fragile, vulnerable look in his eyes when he finally opened them, but I was wrong. He looked fierce, certain, and maybe just a tiny bit angry. I was surprised for a moment until I realized that Jacin really had changed. He'd become a man that his family would have been proud of.

At that realization, I latched onto him like I was never going to let him go again. He hesitated at first, probably afraid he'd cause a repeat of everything that had just happened, and then embraced me so tightly that I couldn't breath. But, this time, I didn't mind having my breath stolen. I ran my fingers through his soft hair over and over again.

I could feel his tears on my neck, the same spot where his lips pressed softly against my skin. "Damnit," he growled, "Damnit."

I shook my head, fairly certain that I wouldn't be able to speak. But that was alright. Sometimes Jacin and I didn't really need words to communicate. So I simply held his face, tilted his chin up, and pressed my lips to his. He pulled me farther onto his lap, his arms so tight I couldn't really breath properly. I slid my tongue along his lips. He tasted salty. When I tried to ease away from him, his arms only tightened. There was no way I'd be able to escape; Jacin was telling me that he needed me, that he wanted me to stay with him. So I circled my arms tightly around his chest, feeling the muscles on his back shift under my hands as he leaned forward to kiss me more, telling him that I would stay with him, that he didn't need to worry.

When he was finally sure I wasn't going to slip away, he let me breath again. He hid his face in my chest, his hands still sliding along my back and our bodies still pressed together. I wanted him so badly, but I was suddenly so tired. I resting my chin on his head and closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of his shampoo as his hair tickled my nose. I somehow managed to find the energy to continue stroking his hair, the familiarity of it taking away all my worries. Jacin was here. It was the real one, not the illusion my mind had conjured up. I was alive and so was he. In that moment, that was all the mattered.

"I never meant…" his whisper trailed off. "I'm going to fix this. I have to fix this. I'll keep you safe. It won't happen again." His voice was hoarse, but certain.

Strangely enough after my near-death experience, Jacin's was able to make me feel safe with just those few words. I shut my eyes and breathed in Jacin's scent, my hand falling to my side. He rocked me back and forth and I suddenly realized that I'd been crying. My energy was leaving me, but I knew I'd be all right because Jacin was there, watching over me.

As I fell unconscious, Jacin still rocking me and his tears falling on my skin, I heard him whisper to me. "I won't let you leave me too, Lucy."

And I knew that even as those blue eyes watered, Jacin had just proved me right. He was the strongest person I knew.

Aaaand end of chapter! Hope you guys liked it, (but you probably do since you're still reading the story and it's almost chapter 20...) I'm not ashamed to say that I didn't like this chapter as much as I've liked other ones, but that's just me...plus, I'm too lazy to change it. Sorry if this was confusing, but we'll get some clarity and, of course, some fluffs in the next chapter. Look forward to it! But you'll probably have to look for a while, because I'm really slow. Haha, sorry.

So yeah, review if you feel like it...because I'm in love with them. Seriously. I love them.

Seriously.

I love them.