The Chance of Love
Chapter 3
Bilbo heard the front door open and close and a few seconds later Theo came running into the kitchen and tried to hide behind him.
"Sweetheart?" questioned Bilbo. "What's going on?"
"Theodore?!" Bilbo heard Thorin call from the living room and a few moments later he joined him in the kitchen. "Hi, do you know where Theodore is? All of his toys are in the living room but he's nowhere to be found."
Bilbo looked down where Theo was holding on to his leg, trying to hide from Thorin.
"Hey, little man," Thorin smiled and crouched down on his son's level. "Aren't you going to say 'hi' to me?"
Bilbo looked down at his son who shook his head and then lifted his arms up for Bilbo to lift him up. "Say 'hi' to daddy," Bilbo encouraged, but Theo didn't even look at Thorin.
"Bed."
Bilbo checked the time. "You're right. It's time for your nap."
"I can take him," Thorin offered.
"Papa do it." At Theo's words Bilbo offered Thorin an apologetic smile.
"I'll be right back," he promised before taking Theo upstairs.
:::
When he came back down he noticed that Thorin's mood had become rather sour. "Everything alright?" he asked.
"No, everything is not alright!" Bilbo tried to shush him but Thorin completely ignored him. "What the hell did you say to him that he is so afraid of me?"
"Can you keep it down," Bilbo hissed. "I just put him to bed. And to answer your question – I didn't say anything to him."
"Well for some reason he's avoiding me, and since you spend most of the time with him the only logical explanation is that you said something!"
"Like he would understand what I was trying to say," Bilbo hissed back, annoyed by Thorin's accusatory tone. "Let me remind you that it was you who pushed him away last week and asked us to leave because your girlfriend was uncomfortable with us being there. You pushed him away when he tried to approach you. All he needs is someone to hug him and make take care of him and he'll love you forever. You decided to push him away."
"I had a new suit," Thorin protested.
"He's two. He doesn't really care what you are wearing." Bilbo could see how much it pained Thorin that Theo ran away from him. And even though he was still angry at him for what he did, he didn't have the heart to see him like this. "Why don't you stay until he wakes up?" he offered. "He won't sleep for more than an hour and a half."
Thorin didn't know what else to do but to accept Bilbo's offer. He was willing to do everything to get Theodore to like him again. After all, he was all he had left of Bilbo.
Just like Bilbo said Theo didn't sleep for more than an hour and a half before he called for him. Theo called for Bilbo but it was Thorin who went upstairs to check on him.
"Hey buddy, did you sleep well?" Thorin asked when he entered Bilbo's bedroom. Theo just stared at him and didn't say anything. "Will you go downstairs with me?" Thorin wasn't completely sure what else to do and Bilbo forbade him to bribe Theodore with more toys, in addition to deciding not to help him. "He's upstairs," Bilbo told him. "If you want him to forgive you, you'll have to do it yourself. And don't even think about bribing him with toys!"
"Want papa," Theo told him.
"He is waiting for us downstairs," Thorin told him as he sat down on Bilbo's bed.
Theo continued to stare at him. "Want papa."
"You and me both," sighed Thorin. "You two mean the world to me. I love you very much." Theo studied Thorin for a moment before lifting his arms up, letting Thorin know to pick him up. "I'm sorry for being an idiot last time," Thorin pressed a kiss to his head. "Do you forgive me?"
This time Theo nodded and smiled.
:::
A few days later when Theo and Bilbo were cuddling on the couch reading a book – well, Bilbo was reading; Theo was just pointing to pictures and asking about this and that and tried to copy Bilbo's sounds – when the phone rang.
"Go through the book and find the animals in the picture," Bilbo said as he put Theo on the couch. "You'll tell me everything later." He went for the phone and picked it up. "Yes?"
"Can I speak to Bilbo Baggins, please?" said a female voice on the other side.
"This is he. How can I help you?"
"I'm calling on behalf of Mr. Huntington, dean of Iron Hills University. The dean is in town today and he asked me to contact you regarding the interview for the scholarship. He's available to you today in his office, or any day later on campus. So what time would suit you the best?"
"I'm sorry, I think you called the wrong person. I didn't send an application to your school."
"The dean studied your case and decided to give you a chance, if you want it of course."
"Of course I want it," Bilbo answered almost too eagerly. He looked back at Theo who was flipping through the book. "I can meet him today."
"Excellent."
They exchanged hour and place of the meeting before hanging up. Bilbo's heart was pounding when he put the phone down. He was called for an interview for a school he didn't apply to. He looked back at Theo still being completely ignorant about what was going on around him, and that's when his smile fell. It was times like this that he wished for one of his parents to be home to watch his son for an hour or two. But as luck would have it, they were home alone, and he couldn't take Theo to the interview.
The only option was to take him to Thorin's house and leave him there.
He got dressed and changed Theo, picked up few of his things and put them in the bag before hurrying out of the house. He would make it to Thorin and then to the city hopefully in time. He really didn't want to be late because this could be his first and last opportunity at getting a scholarship.
When he arrived to Thorin's house he didn't even bother going through the back door. He was hoping to leave Theo and then come back two hours later.
Luckily it was Kíli who opened the door.
"Bilbo! Long time no see! And you brought Theo!" Kíli absolutely loved his nephew and the two-year-old went into his arms willingly.
"Can he stay here for two hours? I have a very important interview and I can't take him with me," Bilbo quickly explained.
"Of course he can stay. Everyone is at home so he won't be bored. You can leave him here for more than two hours, no one will mind."
Just as Kíli finished his thought Thorin walked in on them. "Bilbo, what are you doing here?" He looked surprised to see him and his eyes widened in horror when he saw Theo.
"I'm sorry I didn't call-" His thought was caught short when Thorin pulled him in and dragged him with Kíli and Theo into the kitchen.
"That was rude," pointed out Bilbo and Thorin pressed a hand over his mouth.
"You can't be here."
"I told you I was sorry about not calling-"
"You need to leave," Thorin told him with urgency and Bilbo knew he was hiding something.
"Will you ever let me finish?"
"You and Theodore need to leave. Now!"
"I came to ask you if he can stay with you for an hour or two," tried to explain Bilbo. "I was invited to an interview for a scholarship and I can't take Theo with me. I would mean the world to me if he can stay with you."
"He can't stay, and you need to leave." He tried to push Bilbo toward the back door, but Kíli stopped him.
"He can stay in my room. We'll be quiet. No one will know he's here," tried Kíli.
"It's just for an hour or two," tried Bilbo once again.
"Look, Dana's parents are here and they have no idea that you or Theodore exist and I would like to keep it that way. What do you think they will think of me if they found out I got you pregnant? And there is no way of keeping Theodore quiet. I'm not risking it."
Thorin's words hurt. Luckily Theo was too young to understand them, but with Bilbo they went straight through the heart. "Thorin please… I won't ask you for anything else, ever. Do it for me. This opportunity might be my only chance to go to college."
"You already know my answer," said Thorin coldly and opened the doors.
Bilbo needed a moment to collect his thoughts and to finally accept that this was happening again. He reached for Theo and made his way to the doors.
"I'll come visit," promised Kíli and Bilbo nodded before stepping out.
"Bye-bye," called Theo and waved at Thorin and Kíli in goodbye.
Thorin closed the doors before Bilbo even managed to look back.
.:.:.:.:.:.
Theo was already put to bed when Thorin finally spoke about the real reason behind his visit. "I met professor Elrond today," he told Bilbo as they walked down the stairs to join everyone in the living room. "I didn't even see him, but he saw and stopped me. We had a little chat."
"Anything interesting," asked Bilbo casually as he walked into the kitchen to find a snack with Thorin following close behind. "I mean, what could you possibly talk about with my history teacher?"
"About you, actually."
"Oh. And what did he tell you about me? I haven't seen him in a few months."
"Yes, that's the thing we were talking about." Thorin knew that if Bilbo didn't want to talk about something he would find a million ways to steer conversation into a different direction. It was better to get straight to the point. "Why haven't you passed any of your classes yet? Or better said: why didn't you even show up at school when you were supposed to have an exam. Gandalf gave you the opportunity to pass the classes with exams, but that will be hard to do since you didn't even show up."
Bilbo thought about lying for a second before he decided to simply not tell anything. "I just didn't. Simple as that."
"I would like to know why," insisted Thorin.
"I'm not going to college, so where's the point of finishing high school."
"Don't try to convince me you don't care," told him Thorin. "I know you, and I know that you care."
Bilbo rolled his eyes before he opened the kitchen cabinet and pulled out a bag of cheese flips. "I just didn't go. Can't you live with that?"
"No. I would like to know why."
"I didn't even study. If I went, I wouldn't pass so I saw no point in going. Happy?"
"You knew for months when you'd have your exams and you didn't study? That's just being lazy."
Bilbo had more than enough of Thorin's judgmental tone. "I wasn't lazy, I just had other, more important things to do than study. So excuse me if my life doesn't spin around getting proper education."
"Like you have that much to do," accused Thorin. "You spend all the time in the house. Yeah," he snorted, "A lot of work."
"Yes, I spend all my time in this house taking care of our son. I'm with him to feed him, change him, play with him. Making sure that he isn't missing anything. I'm also with him when he's feeling unwell. Did you know that he was teething and that he was in pain? Did I mention he continued to cry for a few nights in a row and that I stayed up with him and tried to soothe the pain by bringing him a wet cold cloth every half an hour so that he had something to chew on? You didn't know that, did you? Of course not. You come to visit every few weeks to judge me and tell me what I'm doing wrong, and you don't even bother to ask how our son has been in that time. I also didn't tell you that he got sick for a few days, but you didn't even ask so I'm guessing you don't even care. So I'm sorry if I was too exhausted to do anything else except take care of our son, and didn't force myself to study so that I could finish high school!"
Thorin stared at Bilbo for almost a minute before speaking. "You could have said something. I would have helped."
Bilbo snorted at that. "Calling every few hours to check how he's doing isn't helping, Thorin."
"I would have stayed with you," insisted Thorin.
"Yeah? And do what exactly? The moment something is off you start panicking and hand him over. You don't know how to change him, or how to prepare a bottle, you don't know what calms him down. You don't know anything because you are never here!"
"You asked me not to come!"
"Well I'm sorry if I don't enjoy seeing your girlfriend, who is, by the way, not allowed anywhere near my son."
"I only brought her once because I wanted her to meet Theodore. It's not my bloody fault you can't move on. We dated, it was in the past, just get over it!"
"I'm so over it!"
.:.:.:.:.:.
He was not over it. Not even close on getting over it. He loved Thorin almost as much as Theo and his words hurt. It was more than clear that Thorin had moved on – he was meeting her parents for Mahal's sake! The slips that happened every few months, the ones that they both kept quiet about, apparently meant nothing to Thorin. He was only an obstacle for Thorin, and Theo too. He was embarrassed of them and didn't want anyone to know they existed.
A part of Bilbo understood. What would Dana's parents think about him if they knew he had a son? Not a very good first impression, he had to agree with that. But the other part of him was hurt because Thorin has once again rejected him. Maybe it was time to move on. There was no point on dwelling on Thorin if his feelings weren't returned. Or were they? Thorin said that he loved him. He said that many times and Bilbo wanted to believe him, he wanted to believe him so badly.
But the reality was that Thorin once again turned his back on him and now he had an interview in one hour and his two year old son with him. He had two options. He could go to the interview and hope that they will even talk to him because he brought his son with him, or he could just go home and pretend it didn't happen.
"Go where?" asked Theo and Bilbo looked at his son.
"I have an interview soon, but I'm not sure if taking you with me is a good idea."
"Be good. Promise."
"Oh," smiled Bilbo. "You promise to be good, you are such a sweetheart, you know that?"
"Go," smiled Theo.
"Fine, we are going. I just hope this doesn't end badly."
:::
Bilbo never felt more nervous in his life. Even waiting for the pregnancy test results when he was pregnant with Theo wasn't so nerve-wracking as sitting in front of dean's office waiting for his turn. There were three students waiting with him and each of them had a folder with them probably filled with credentials and recognition awards and everything. He brought his son and his diaper bag with him. He stood no chance. And if the secretary could give him an even worse stink eye that would make his day even better.
"Bilbo Baggins?" she called and Bilbo stood up.
"Yes."
"The dean is ready to see you."
She led him through a short corridor and opened the old mahogany doors for him. The dean was already waiting for him. "Bilbo Baggins," he quickly introduced himself and shook the offered hand.
"Nice to meet you, Bilbo. Please have a seat," the dean said and gestured to the chairs in front of his desk, before taking a seat himself.
Bilbo suddenly wasn't so nervous anymore. The dean didn't say anything about Theo being present so that was a good sign, he hoped. "I really appreciate the opportunity, though I don't understand how you found me since I didn't send an application to your school."
"Your headmaster and history teacher are personal friends of mine and they speak very highly of you. I was too curious to let the opportunity to get to know you pass," the dean replied. "May I ask how many application have you sent?"
Bilbo swallowed hard. "Eight, Sir."
"I see." Theo suddenly saw something on the dean's desk that caught his attention and he reached toward it, but Bilbo pulled him back absentmindedly. "And how many of those were approved?"
"None." Maybe this wasn't going as well as Bilbo imagined.
"And your classes? Did you finish them all?"
"Yes."
"Professor Elrond speaks very highly of you. What did you want to study?"
"Papa," whined Theo and Bilbo knew exactly what his son wanted. He reached for the bag and blindly searched for the bottle before giving it to Theo so that he could drink, while he answered the questions.
"History and literature, that's what I wanted to study, but I didn't get in."
"I see." The dean wanted to say something but was interrupted by Theo who pushed the bottle back in Bilbo's hand.
"Thank you!"
"You're welcome." Bilbo looked apologetically at Mr. Huntington. "I'm sorry. You wanted to ask me something."
"Yes. Why did you never apply to our school? With the program we have you would be the perfect candidate."
"I never thought about it really. I wanted-"
"A picture!" announced Theo and pointed at the painting on the wall.
"A painting," corrected Bilbo, feeling more and more uncomfortable. He knew that the dean was watching him and he could only imagine what he must be thinking.
"Painting," repeated Theo and Bilbo offered him a smile, and Theo beamed with pride that he got something right.
"What I wanted to say is that I was only choosing between schools that were close to my home-"
"Phone!" Theo pointed at the phone on dean's desk and Bilbo winced at the second interruption. This wasn't looking good.
"Yes, it's a phone," Bilbo quickly told Theo. "You promised me to be good, remember?" Theo nodded. "I'm talking with someone. Can you sit still for a few more minutes and then we'll leave?" Theo nodded again and Bilbo continued.
"I was only choosing between colleges close to home because I need to be back home every day. I can't just leave him with my parents all the time and I'm not able to afford living accommodations on campus. Living without him is out of the question for me.
"Well-"
"Old," said Theo loudly and pointed at the dean. In that moment Bilbo wanted to die of embarrassment.
"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized. "He's two. He… I'm really sorry." He turned his attention back to Theo not caring what the dean will think since he was planning on leaving anyway. This was a bad idea from the beginning. "You can't tell people that they are old."
"Why?"
"Because it's not nice."
"Sowy," Theo said and looked down.
"Apology accepted," said the dean to Bilbo's surprise.
"I would like to thank you again for this opportunity," said Bilbo quickly and stood up before lifting Theo and taking the bag. "It was a pleasure talking with you. And I'm really sorry for wasting your time." His plan was to get out of there as soon as possible, before he died of embarrassment. He hadn't even reached the door when the dean spoke.
"Bilbo. Please sit down."
Bilbo closed his eyes for a moment and then cursed loudly in his head before turning around and sitting back in the chair, not daring to make eye contact.
"You didn't introduce me to the young man in your arms. What's his name?"
Bilbo looked at the dean before answering. "Theo."
"Short for Theodore, I assume." Bilbo nodded in confirmation. "And how old are you?" the dean asked Theo and waited until he was proudly showed two fingers. "Two? Wow! I thought you were older." Theo smiled happily and shook his head. "So he's living with you?" dean directed his questions back to Bilbo.
"Yes, he lives with me."
"And his other father, is he around?"
"Thorin comes to visit when he's not busy with school," Bilbo lied.
"Durin?"
"Yes," confirmed Bilbo. "How did you know?"
"The Durin family is well known in the Iron Hills. Were you planning on bringing Theodore with you or didn't you have anyone to watch him?"
Bilbo wasn't going to lie. "I wasn't planning on bringing him here, but there was no one who could watch him. He's my responsibility and I just couldn't leave him. I'm trying my best, but it's exhausting. And I'm sorry, again, for what happened."
"You don't need to apologize. He's only two and if I'm sure about anything it's that children can be brutally honest," the dean smiled, "and it's not like he said anything that isn't true. You seem to have a very good control over him, and I can see that he's attached to you. Iron Hills is very far away and separating you two just wouldn't do it, besides I know you would never agree to it."
"No, I wouldn't. Thank you again for your time."
The dean rolled his eyes. "What is it with you and leaving? Sit down." Bilbo decided to stay quiet and obey. "Not a lot of people know this," continued dean, "but my wife and I had a girl when we were your age, so I have a very good idea what you are going through. It's not an easy job raising a child when everyone around is going to parties and having fun, while you stay at home. Believe me, I know how it feels. I also know how hard is to get proper education when you are a young parent because everyone thinks you're not capable of taking care of a child. What everyone likes to forget is how it feels to be young. It's much easier to run after a toddler when you are twenty than when you are in your thirties. You have a lot more energy when you are young and thus more active."
"I don't understand," Bilbo said, confused.
"At our school there are currently six couples living on the campus with their children, all of them are under five years of age. And to everyone's surprise, they have better grades than most of the students because they know what they are studying for. They know their responsibilities and they are doing their best to finish school and get a job as soon as possible. There is no such thing as drinking the first year and then studying the second. They all know for what they came for. Knowledge."
"I didn't know that."
"Do you want to hear the best part?" Bilbo only nodded. "Since our government discovered they are doing so well they decided to pay for their schooling and cover all their expenses of living accommodations, under the condition that they finish school without repeating a year. If I understand correctly you currently don't have a partner?"
"No, I don't."
"We usually accept couples. It makes things easier for us, them and their children. But I don't see any problems with having you there, if you want to come of course."
Bilbo just stared at him, unsure what to think. This was the best thing that has happened in a while. He would go to college and Theo would be able to go with him. What could be better?
"Bilbo," the dean interrupted, "I need your answer."
"Yes!" said Theo and Bilbo almost let out a laugh.
"Yes. It's yes! Of course I want to come. This is more than I ever hoped for."
"Excellent. My secretary will give you everything that you'll need to apply, with all the brochures and all the information you'll need. Think about it again and if this is what you really want send us your application. We'll do everything else and get to you as soon as possible."
"That sounds great," smiled Bilbo, his heart pounding in his chest with excitement.
"I would advise you to take a few classes during the summer. The campus isn't that full and it will be easier for you to get accustomed to living there. And it would also mean few classes less during the school year, meaning you won't have that much work."
"I'll think about it, I promise." Bilbo stood up and followed dean to the doors. "Again, thank you for this."
"You are more than welcome." They shook hands and then Bilbo left.
:::
He got home two hours later. Needless to say his mother was worried sick about him, not knowing where he'd gone when he'd said he was planning on staying home.
"Finally!" Belladonna said when Bilbo walked in with Theo. "Where were you? I thought you said you were staying home. And what happened to your shirt?"
"I was, but then I got this phone call and decided to go. As for my shirt – this is what happens when Theo eats ice-cream. I took him out to celebrate."
Belladonna smiled warmly before reaching for Theo. "I can watch him while you change."
"Thanks," said Bilbo and hurried up the stairs, but Belladonna stopped him.
"You said you two were celebrating. What exactly were you celebrating?"
"Going to college," Bilbo smiled.
Author's notes:
A big 'thank you' to Chamelaucium, who helped with this chapter.
You keep spoiling me with your comments and them I want to make it up to you and post chapters sooner... But I can't because I want to keep my updates regular and sadly this is the only way that I can make that happen.
But thank you so much for the amazing response!
Next chapter: Thorin continues being a jerk (sorry) and Bilbo meets someone new. Friend or foe?