The Chance of Love
Chapter 6
They drove in silence. Theo stopped crying long ago and with the exception of occasional sniffing he didn't make a sound. Bilbo turned around to make sure he was okay every few minutes, but never said anything. He offered a reassuring smile to his son before turning his attention back on the road. Thorin ignored Bilbo's questioning looks. He needed to calm down before he did something that he'd regret later. He knew that Bilbo was probably wondering where he was driving them, but soon everything would make sense.
Thorin drove through the town – taking the long way to Bilbo's house. Or at least that's what Bilbo thought. He didn't know what Thorin had in mind, but when he turned the car to the highway he couldn't keep quiet anymore.
"Will you please let me know where we're going?" Bilbo asked but Thorin didn't answer. He kept his eyes on the road and continued to drive.
With each hour that passed Bilbo was getting a better idea to where Thorin was taking them.
"You okay, buddy?" Thorin asked when he noticed in the rear mirror how Theo was shifting in his seat. "Do you need anything?"
When Theo refused to answer Thorin finally pulled to a stop at the gas station.
"Do you need to use the loo?" Bilbo asked and Theo nodded.
"I'll take him," Thorin offered and got out of the car. Bilbo followed, wanting to stretch his legs a little. Thorin walked to the other side of the car and got Theo out of the car seat and lifted him up in his arms. The boy was still wearing his pajamas and was surprisingly still fighting sleep.
Theo started to cry and reached for Bilbo. "Papa…"
"It's okay, sweetheart, I'm here," Bilbo assured him and cupped his cheek with his hand. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Papa…"
"Theodore I'm sorry," Thorin apologized. "I didn't mean to yell at you nor am I angry at you." He wiped the tears from his son's face. "Can you forgive me?" Theo studied Thorin for a moment before nodding an wrapping his arms around his neck. Thorin smiled before placing a kiss on top of his head.
"You should take him to the toilet before he falls asleep," told him Bilbo. "He looks exhausted."
Thorin returned a couple of minutes later with an already sleeping Theo in his arms.
"You didn't have to do it, you know," Bilbo said as he put socks on his son's feet while he was sleeping in his father's arms. "I would have taken the bus in the morning. It'll be even harder for Theo to leave me there."
Thorin looked at the sleeping boy in his arms before speaking. "I packed his bag and few of his toys, if you haven't noticed."
"I did. Though I don't understand why. He doesn't need all that stuff for driving me to school and then going back."
"He's not going back," Thorin informed him and Bilbo's jaw dropped.
"I don't understand…"
"He is staying there with you. He's not going back with me. I'll send the rest of his stuff later."
Bilbo just stared at Thorin for the next couple of seconds. "You said you don't want me to take him away from you-"
"I did."
"Then why-"
"Because he needs you more than he needs me." Bilbo stared at Thorin for a moment, not knowing what to say. "I'll stay a day so that you get both settled and then I'll leave."
"Thank you," said Bilbo after a minute. "You have no idea how much it means to me that Theo gets to stay with me."
"I do know," Thorin corrected. "I will be the one who won't get to see him."
Thorin's words hurt, but not in the way they hurt a week ago. Now it was Bilbo who would be keeping Theo and Thorin was the one who wouldn't. Bilbo knew exactly how Thorin felt right now but he decided not to say anything about it. Thorin made that decision and Bilbo wouldn't risk him changing his mind.
:::
They didn't speak much for the rest of the ride mainly because Theo was sleeping, but also because they had nothing to talk about. There was nothing Bilbo could say that would make Thorin feel better and Thorin didn't want to assure him he was okay with this because he really wasn't. This wasn't him doing some grand gesture, this was him doing his best for his son.
They arrived around one in the morning and after Bilbo got the keys Thorin took Theo in his arms and followed him into the building.
Bilbo unlocked the doors and turned on the lights of his new home for the next couple of months.
"This is it," he announced as he made his way to the small kitchen and turned the refrigerator on. "You can come inside you know."
Thorin stood at the doorway with Theo in his arms, not really knowing what to think. This 'apartment' was smaller than his room. There was a kitchen, a dining room, and a bedroom all in one room. There were no doors that would divide them, except for bathroom which thankfully was a separate room.
"You said this place was small, but nice. You never said it was this small," said Thorin as he stepped in and looked around.
"What did you expect? A hotel room?"
"No. I just thought it would be… bigger."
"It's big enough for me and Theo. We won't need more. Now help me make Theo's bed so we can put him down and then you can help me make my bed. We'll get the rest of my stuff from your car in the morning."
Thorin wanted to complain about Bilbo bossing him around until something hit him. "Your bed? Where am I going to sleep?"
"On the floor?" suggested Bilbo as he pulled the bedding from his bag.
Thorin shook his head. "I'm not sleeping on the floor. I drove for the past six hours and tomorrow I have to drive back. My back will kill me."
"There are enough blankets to make you comfortable," Bilbo said as he made Theo's bed.
"I'm not sleeping on the floor," repeated Thorin.
"Your car then."
"Not happening."
Bilbo looked at Thorin and then back to the double bed in the room. He wasn't in the mood the share his bed with Thorin. Especially because Theo's bed was right next to it. Not that he wasn't used to sleeping next to his son, it was just that in the last two years whenever he slept in the same bed as Thorin they usually had sex before. Sleeping with Thorin would just make everything awkward.
"I'm not sleeping with you!"
"Then you are free to sleep on the floor. Or my car, if that's what you prefer," Thorin added.
"Fine," snapped Bilbo back. "But you're sleeping on your side of the bed. And keep your hands to yourself!"
"Believe me when I say I have no intention of touching you."
Bilbo put Theo to bed before he went to the bathroom to change. When he came back he found Thorin folding his clothes, wearing nothing else except his underwear.
"W-what are you doing?" stammered Bilbo when he saw him. Thorin looked amazing in his underwear and Bilbo lost his ability to speak when all the blood left his brain. "Put something on!"
"It's hot and I didn't take anything to change with me."
"You can't sleep in your underwear!"
"Why not? We slept naked before."
Bilbo looked at his sleeping son for a second. "Theo is here-"
"Firstly, he saw me naked before and secondly, it's just like wearing swimming trunks," Thorin pointed out before climbing into bed. He lifted the covers up and waited for Bilbo to join him.
"Just stay on your side of the bed," Bilbo told him before joining Thorin under the covers. He way too tired to fight with him. He pulled the covers over himself and turned away from Thorin, showing him his back.
"Goodnight."
"Whatever," Bilbo snapped back as Thorin turned the lights off.
Bilbo had hoped that sleep would come easily, but it didn't. The bed felt strange and he could hear Thorin breathing behind him. It was nerve-wracking! He couldn't believe that he was once able to fall asleep next to him. He kept tossing and turning around looking for a colder and more comfortable position on the bed, without any real success. The bed was too small to be comfortable for two people to be sleeping in it together, except if they were cuddling, which was of course out of the question.
"Will you ever stop," Thorin finally muttered, his voice thick with sleep and Bilbo felt proud of himself that he managed to keep him awake. "Just go to sleep."
"I can't. This bed it's not comfortable and you're breathing," Bilbo hissed back just above whisper.
"Really? I'm breathing? That's one of the stupidest things I've heard you say."
"What do you want me to say?! You're breathing so loudly that we can count ourselves lucky Theo is still asleep!"
"Leave Theodore out of this," Thorin hissed back. He couldn't believe he was in bed with Bilbo, fighting. "This is between you and me. Or better said: this is your problem."
"How is this my problem? You're the one who's breathing loudly."
"Strangely you never noticed it before!"
Bilbo wanted to snap back when someone called for him.
"Papa?"
The anger immediately left Bilbo, who turned around only to find Theo standing next to the bed.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Can't sleep."
"Would you like to sleep with me?" Bilbo asked softly and Theo nodded in response. He pulled his son on the bed and made space for him between him and Thorin.
"I thought you said you don't allow him to sleep with you," commented Thorin as Theo made himself comfortable on already too small bed.
"I don't," answered Bilbo. "Most of the time," he added quietly as he brushed some hair from his son's face.
"Most of the time?" questioned Thorin. "So with other words: you do allow him to sleep with you."
Theo snuggled closer to Bilbo and put a thumb in his mouth. "Of course I allow him to sleep with me. It's the easiest way to calm him down."
Thorin pulled Theo's thumb out of his mouth and the two-year-old let out a whine of protest, but didn't put it back in as he snuggled into Bilbo's chest. "Right. Now I know why he was so upset when I took him back to his bed when he came crying into my room in the middle of the night. Thank you for that."
"It's not my problem you don't know how to take care of him!"
"Tired," whined Theo before Thorin could say something back.
"I know, sweetheart, I'm sorry," said Bilbo before kissing his head. "Go to sleep. Goodnight, Thorin."
"Goodnight."
:::
Bilbo was first to be up in the morning. Theo and Thorin were sleeping peacefully so he decided to get a few things from Thorin's car and something to eat so that he wouldn't wake them up. When he returned Thorin was already awake.
"Good morning," said Bilbo as he put the things he purchased in the fridge. Some eggs and coffee would make a lovely breakfast.
"Morning," murmured Thorin from the bed, still refusing to get up. "What time it is?"
"Almost seven," informed him Bilbo.
"It's too early and I'm so tired. I want to sleep some more."
"Well you can't. I have to leave soon and you have to watch Theo while I'm gone."
"Why?"
"Because I have my classes this morning, remember? I'm going to find him a daycare by the time I come back, don't worry." Thorin muttered something that Bilbo didn't understand so he decided to ignore it. "Look at it like this: you'll get to spend the entire morning with Theo. You can look around, have some fun… Do whatever you like."
"Can't wait," mumbled Thorin as he got up from the bed. "I want to take a shower."
"You know where the bathroom is," Bilbo told him as he went through the kitchen cabinets trying to find a pan for the eggs. "But towels are in my bag in the car."
"That's your way of saying to get your bags, isn't it?" asked Thorin as he pulled his pants on.
"You can try to be useful a little and get the bags."
"I'm useful," Thorin argued. "I drove you here."
"Just get the rest of the bags from the car, Thorin. And don't forget to bring Theo's stuff. I expect him to be up soon."
"Great," said Thorin under his breath before he pulled a shirt over his head and left.
Bilbo found the right pan for the eggs and started making breakfast when there was a knock on the door. Strange, he thought. It couldn't be Thorin. Firstly, because Thorin wouldn't knock and secondly, because he couldn't be back so soon. Unless he forgot something… Which still wouldn't explain the knocking. Bilbo decided to just open the door and check who it is.
"I knew I saw you," said someone before Bilbo even had the chance to look at that person's face.
"Adrian," Bilbo greeted. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought I saw you this morning, but I wasn't sure if I saw right. So I followed you here. I asked around and they said that a family came in the middle of the night. I thought I was wrong, but still decided to check. And here you are!"
"Here I am," Bilbo smiled awkwardly.
"What are you doing here? I mean, why are you living here and not on the other side of the campus. We could have been neighbors, you know," continued Adrian.
"I'm not alone," said Bilbo. But before he had a chance to fully explain Theo pushed past Bilbo's legs, still wearing his pajamas, and looked up expectantly at Adrian who gaped at him. "This is my son," explained Bilbo. "His name is Theo and he'll be staying here with me. Say 'hi' to Adrian," encouraged Bilbo but the two-year-old just held his hand and stared at the stranger.
"Hi?" said Adrian awkwardly.
"Sorry," apologized Bilbo. "He just woke up."
Adrian nodded. "So you'll be staying here with your son and your…boyfriend?"
"Thorin and I are not together anymore. And to answer your question: only Theo will be staying with me."
"That's great?" said Adrian, not really knowing what to think of all this.
"Daddy!" suddenly called Theo and ran toward Thorin who just came up, carrying all the bags from the car.
"Hey buddy," smiled Thorin as Theo jumped excitedly around him, but his expression fell the moment he saw Bilbo talking with someone. "Theodore, go inside," Thorin ordered and the two-year-old obeyed without protest.
"Breakfast will be ready soon," Bilbo informed him as he stepped aside so that Thorin could enter. Bilbo received no answer from him, but the look Thorin sent him told him exactly what he thought.
"That was awkward," said Adrian to break the tension as Bilbo closed the doors so that Thorin wouldn't listen to their conversation. "Were you two always like that?"
"Things between us are…complicated. Please don't ask me to explain it to you."
"I won't ask if you don't want me to."
"Thank you."
"But I would like to see you again," smiled Adrian and Bilbo blushed. "How about getting a cup of coffee with me? Whenever you want. You can bring your son with you, I don't mind."
"I don't think that's such a good idea," admitted Bilbo. "I mean, I would like to get coffee with you, but without Theo. Don't get me wrong, I hardly know you and I need to trust you before I allow you to get close to my son."
"That's okay. So we have a date?"
"We have a date," smiled Bilbo.
The phone numbers were exchanged and then Bilbo excused himself. He had to make breakfast and then get ready for his first day. He promised to call Adrian the moment things would get settled and he would have some free time. Adrian seemed happy with the promise of seeing him in the future and left after saying goodbye.
Bilbo was glowing with happiness when he entered the room. And Thorin hated it.
"You've been here for a few days and you've already found yourself a fuck buddy. I'm not surprised!" commented Thorin dryly and Bilbo had to hold himself back not to slap him on the spot.
"He's not my…" he trailed off when he saw Theo watching them. "I just met him," he continued.
"It didn't look like it," Thorin pointed out. "You looked very familiar with him."
"He asked me to go to lunch with him when I was here last time," Bilbo explained calmly. Yelling wouldn't make things any better.
"And I imagine you didn't tell him you have a son?"
"He knows," corrected Bilbo. "He asked to meet him."
"Out of the question!" erupted Thorin. "You can't be in your right mind right now. You can just allow a complete stranger to be around my son!"
"I'm not allowing it. I told him that until I get to know him better and I can trust him I don't want him to spend time with Theo. And stop yelling at me, I did nothing wrong."
"I'm telling you right now that I don't want him anywhere near my son."
"What gives you the right-"
"The same rules apply," interrupted Thorin. "You don't want Dana near him, fine, and I don't want that guy near him. Simple as that."
"Fine," Bilbo sighed.
Thorin studied him for a moment. "Does that mean that you won't see him again?"
"Of course I'm going to see him again. He asked me to get coffee with him and I said yes. You can tell me he's not allowed near Theo, but you can't forbid me to see him. Besides he's the only person who showed some interest in me. He's not looking at me like there's something wrong with me."
I showed interest in you, Thorin wanted to say. "I don't think leaving Theo here with you was such a good idea. You promised to take care of him not to sleep around with anyone who shows interest in you."
"I'm more than capable of taking care of him. I was for the past two years and you never had any problems with it. But the moment I met someone who wants to get to know me, I'm suddenly not? Is that what are you trying to say? Because that's how it looks, Thorin. It's either this, or you are such a pig you don't want to see me happy. You moved on, am I not allowed to do the same?"
"You'll end up getting hurt," said Thorin quietly. "And that will affect Theodore."
"When was the last time I've let any of my troubles affect Theo?" Thorin didn't answer him. "I'm going out with Adrian whether you like it or not. I'll make sure that Theo won't come into contact with him again, but that's all I'm promising."
After a minute of uncomfortable silence Thorin went to take a shower without saying anything and Bilbo went back to preparing breakfast with a very excited Theo jumping around him. Apparently his son got enough sleep and was now like a bomb ready to explode. Bilbo couldn't help but to feel at least a little sorry for Thorin who would have to keep him under control for the rest of the day.
The breakfast was awkward affair. Neither Bilbo nor Thorin spoke during it. The only one who seemed happy with having both of his parents around was Theo.
Bilbo left shortly after with a kiss on Theo's cheek and a quick look at Thorin who did his best to ignore him. Bilbo couldn't help but feel bad about their fight and be angry at Thorin at the same time. Did he not deserve the same happiness? Was he supposed to stay alone forever and take care of Theo? That just wasn't fair! He would respect Thorin's wishes and keep Adrian away from Theo, but he wouldn't stop seeing him just because Thorin didn't want him to.
The classes ha had were interesting, but he couldn't really focus on them. His mind keep drifting to Thorin and their son and he couldn't help but think about what they were doing. He wanted to go see them during his lunch break but a few of his new classmates asked him to join them and the offer was too good to say no.
He finally got back to them in the late afternoon. Theo was playing with his toys on their bed and Thorin was doing something on his phone. Probably texting with his girlfriend, his mind supplied.
"Have you eaten?" was the first thing Bilbo asked when he walked in.
"Mhm…"
Bilbo raised an eyebrow. "You actually prepared a meal?"
"Of course not," Thorin said absentmindedly, not taking his eyes of the phone.
"So you let him starve all day? What's wrong with you?!" Bilbo exclaimed and hurried to check on Theo who didn't even notice him parents fighting.
"We ate outside," informed him Thorin.
"Sweetheart, are you okay? Are you hungry?"
"He's not hungry," Thorin told him as Theo shook his head.
Bilbo lifted Theo from the bed and rested him on his hip. "Excuse me if I don't believe you. All I asked you to do was take care of him for a few hours and you couldn't even do that."
"I did take care of him. He's fine," argued Thorin. "It's you who always makes a big deal out of it."
Bilbo rolled his eyes as he walked to the kitchen, looking for a snack. He almost dropped Theo when he saw the cabinets fully stocked. "Don't tell me they deliver groceries here?"
"No," said Thorin plainly. "Theo and I did the shopping."
Bilbo stared at Thorin for a moment not knowing what to think. "You did the shopping?"
"Yes, me and Theo. Didn't you hear me the first time?"
"I heard you, I just didn't believe you."
"Down," Theo demanded and Bilbo let him down so he could go back to playing with his toys.
"When are you leaving?" asked Bilbo as he got an apple out of the fridge.
"Did you find him a daycare?"
"I did. You didn't answer me," Bilbo reminded him. "When are you planning to leave? I think you should wait until Theo goes to sleep."
"Hm?"
Thorin wasn't paying attention to anything that Bilbo was saying. "I said you should leave after Theo goes to sleep."
"Hm?" Thorin stood up and finally put his phone down. "Oh, I'm not leaving," he told Bilbo as he joined him in the kitchen area to get something to drink.
"Excuse me?"
"I bought him that pudding that he likes. It's in the fridge."
Bilbo looked surprised. "This isn't about the pudding! And I don't allow him to eat it."
"It won't kill him," Thorin pointed out.
"What do you mean you're not leaving?" Bilbo questioned as he followed Thorin back to their - no, his bed.
"It means I'm not leaving," Thorin replied lazily as he laid down on the bed next to Theo.
"You can't be serious?!"
"I'm serious. Am I not, Theo?"
"Yes!" the two-year-old smiled and Bilbo rolled his eyes.
"You can't possibly stay! What are you going to do? Lay here all day and do nothing?"
"Of course not. I'm taking summer classes here, just like you are."
Bilbo wanted to scream and jump and make a tantrum like a child. "You didn't even apply!"
"Of course I did. If you don't believe me you can ask Theo. He was there with me today."
"Your father will never allow you to go to college here and there's no way he'll pay for this," reasoned Bilbo.
"What the old man doesn't know won't kill him. Besides he won't have to pay for anything. I took care of it." Bilbo stared at Thorin waiting for an explanation. "I went to the administration office, gave them some hearted spiel about my family and how hard it is to live with them and that you are my light at the end of a tunnel… Long story short, I get to stay," Thorin smiled as Bilbo gaped at him. "Oh, and I registered us as a couple. It made things a whole lot easier and we'll get an even bigger place next week. Plus our schedules will ensure that we see each other as little as possible. You have your classes in the morning and I have mine in the afternoon. This way I get to sleep longer in the mornings. Isn't that amazing?"
"No! No, it's not! What were you thinking? You can't stay here!"
"Why? Because of Adrian?"
"This isn't about Adrian! It's about the fact that you are trying to ruin things for me."
"Shush," Thorin hushed him; he was having the time of his life. "This college supports young families. And we are a young family. We have to stick together to raise our son. It's important that we work together and that we create harmony in our home-"
"Oh shut up!" Bilbo cut him off. "You read that in a brochure!"
Thorin offered him a smile. "Whether you like it or not we are a family and whether you like it or not I'm staying here with you both. So I advise you to get used to the idea as soon as possible."
:::
Adrian didn't really know what to think. This whole thing felt weird and he couldn't help but worry for Bilbo who called him at the end of his nerves asking him to meet him as soon as possible. Of course Adrian was happy to receive Bilbo's call so soon but he was hoping it would be under different circumstances.
"Here," he said as he put a cup of tea in front of Bilbo to calm his nerves. "Drink, you'll feel better."
They agreed to meet at the coffee shop near the campus.
"Thank you for coming so quickly."
"No problem," said Adrian as he sipped his coffee. "You didn't sound okay and I got worried. Drink it," he encouraged. "You'll feel much better."
"I just can't believe it, you know. I can't believe he would do something like that to me."
"Maybe his intentions are true," said Adrian though he knew almost nothing about Bilbo's ex.
"You don't know Thorin like I do. He doesn't do anything that doesn't benefit him. He did it to annoy me," Bilbo argued.
"That's one of the possible explanations."
"There are no other explanations. He's a pig and I hate him so much! This isn't about Theo or getting education. This is him trying to ruin my life. Can't he just leave me alone already?"
"Maybe," said Adrian quietly.
"Excuse me? You don't believe me?"
"It's not that I don't believe you… It's just that… Look, while it's possible that Thorin is doing this for Theo, it's also possible he's doing this because he wants to annoy you. He could be doing this to finish at least some classes before returning home, or…"
"Or?"
"He's jealous," shrugged Adrian.
"What?"
"He's jealous," Adrian repeated. "Don't tell me you don't see it. The way he looks and talks to you. I was there with you for a minute maybe and he wanted to kill me because I spoke to you. He's jealous and has that written all over his face. It really couldn't be more obvious."
"Oh…"
Author's notes:
A big 'thank you' to Chamelaucium, who helped with this chapter.
Thank you for all your lovely comments!
If you're bored find me on Tumblr.
Next chapter: Thorin and Bilbo get to spend some time together. Thorin gets a phone-call in the middle of the night.