Disclaimer:I'm not Cassandra Clare thus own none of her beautiful characters.
Warning(?): Contains some drinking, just reference.
IMPORTANT NOTE, PLEASE READ: Hello! I have a request! Because I'm an idiot, I first wrote the story and then read the rules and learned that I shouldn't write lyrics on it, so I had to rewrite part of that chapter and four of the future ones. If you like, please, please! send me a PM so I can send you the original chapters to read, which were WAY, WAY better! The parts I rewrote were ruined…T_T [on this chapter, only a small part was changed, but still, it was better before. :'(]
CHAPTER 05 - Darkness
ALEC
Day 2. Early Noon.
Alec stood by the kitchen in Magnus' apartment. Suddenly the front door opened, revealing the Warlock. He looked stunning and the boy caught himself staring at him, mesmerised, forgetting for a blissful moment the reason he was there in the first place. He wore a plain (compared to his usual clothes) black, t-shirt adorned with sequins spelling the word "Magic" and a pair of black tight fitting jeans that complimented his tall, slender frame. His hair was down, no glitter or hair gel on it, just the way the boy liked it the most. Magnus looked calm but when he turned his gaze to meet Alec's, his eyes narrowed. "What are you still doing here?" he hissed. "I told you to take your things, leave the key and disappear." "Magnus, let me explain, please!" begged the Nephilim, despair lacing his voice which was already thick with tears "I…" "Too late." the Warlock cut him off coldly "I don't want to hear anything you have to say." "Please Magnus! I love you!" "Well then, you have a grant way of showing it!" he screamed, and Alec took an involuntary step back, stifling a sob. "Do I need to spell it out for you?" he went on mercilessly "I. Hate. You. Even if you disappeared it would be fine with me." The boy gasped, tears falling from his cerulean eyes. "You… No… You can't… mean that…" "No? Let's see…" Magnus said in a dangerous voice, raising his hands, blue sparks flying from the edge of his fingers, and uttered something in a language the Nephilim didn't understand. All Alec saw was a flash of blue. Then he felt a searing pain and everything went dark.
'Darkness… I can see nothing… I can't breathe… There's only pain… My life is over… I hadn't realised how insignificant, how dark, everything was until the light you brought in my life went out… Darkness. Only Darkness, but no Oblivion. Sweet Oblivion…"
He could feel nothing, but pain.
'He really hates me… Please make it stop… I can't breathe… I can't move… It hurts… Let it be over… Please… Please… Help me…'
The darkness dispersed and a pair of beautiful green-gold cat-eyes appeared in front of him, looking at him with cold hate, and he woke up with a jolt, in a coughing fit, unable to breathe through sobs once more.
'He hates me…No… It was a dream… But still… He… Must hate me… After what I did…'
The pain only got worse as time passed, his sobs intensifying, making breathing nearly impossible. 'Just let go…' a tempting voice whispered 'What else is there to live for?' He couldn't help but agree. 'I should die and let everything end…' His hand moved towards the knives in his belt and he took one out, balancing it in his fingers.'No… It's not over yet…I still have to…' his whole body shook as he still struggled to breathe. With a swift, decisive motion, he stabbed his left hand. The shock and the pain sent another jolt in him making him gasp and restoring his breathing temporarily. 'Breathe!' he ordered once more, 'Dammit Breathe!' He gritted his teeth, breathing deeply, grateful for the distraction. This pain was nothing.
The 'calm' didn't last long though… His thoughts soon inevitably brought him back to the cruel reality. 'I can't stay here… I have to go… He… He told me to…pack my stuff…' a sob escaped his lips 'I don't care about those, but I have to… return… his key… I have to go… he said he'd be out…he said… he…' even his thoughts weren't coherent anymore.
Shaking, he took his phone out again and checked the time. It was early noon, next day. He'd been sitting in the cold, crying his eyes out for half a day already, and he felt awful. His whole body hurt, he had a splitting headache and his tears were far from spent. He could only have these moments of clarity and not drown in all his grief, because of his extreme self-control, and even then, he still had to try hard and ignore the triggering thoughts… But now, it was already noon… He couldn't run away from the things he didn't want to face anymore. 'I won't make it… I have to hurry…' He tried getting up but collapsed. He was frozen over and his feet wouldn't hold him after all those hours lying in the cold. 'I can't fail him again… Not even on this small thing…' he hated to, since he would prefer to keep the pain, and have it serve as a distraction and as rightful punishment for what he did, but there was no choice. He drew an iratze to restore his body, because he had to get up, and gathered his self-control to hold his pieces together. Hold the pieces… At least until his home. Then, he had no illusion. He wasn't gonna make it out in one piece… Seeing that place again, after everything that happened, was going to shatter him…
MAGNUS
Day 1. Late night.
Unsteadily he got to his feet. It was almost morning, but he couldn't bear to stay in his house for another minute. Not alone. Not after all this time. He absent-mindedly 'magicked' chairman's bowl to remain full, and left, not bothering with a coat, keys, or even checking how he looked. He wandered the streets aimlessly for hours, unseen, even passing by the Institute. For a spell he was tempted to knock on the door and find out why Alec asked him to ignore Isabelle, but in the end he decided against it, and instead headed towards the most notorious places he knew. He didn't need to worry, his fame preceded him, and that was enough to keep him safe. Not that he cared… If someone desired to kill the High Warlock, there wouldn't have been a better time to do it. He was so out of it, he couldn't have found it in him to fight for his life…
He entered a Downworlder bar, and immediately regretted it. 'It's always the music… Cursed music…' "The one I love" by R.E.M was playing on full blast. He headed to where the Dj was, cursing Gods and Demons. "The song goes." he growled. The DJ was feeling brave (or maybe was plain stupid) "Or?" "Or else, the fire will be quite literal." Magnus snarled, looking at him through slitted eyes. Hastily the Dj changed it, but his next choice was no good either… Summer Wine. "Angel…" he sighed under his breath, and chose to ignore it, pushing away memories of Angel kisses. "Give me something strong." He ordered the bartender, and taking a whole bottle of it, found a dark quiet corner, nestled there half-hidden from sight, and started drinking.
Afternote: Again, I'm so sorry I couldn't post it the way it originally was :( Please PM me to ask for the original, you won't regret it!
Also, thank you very much for the lovely reviews! ^_^ (and, guest, trust me, I want to do that too! Sorry I don't yet, I'm a horrible person... xD)