Disclaimer:I'm not Cassandra Clare thus own none of her lovely characters.

IMPORTANT NOTE, PLEASE READ:Hello! I said this before, (on ch.5) but I'm gonna repeat it just in case. This chapter (along with the next three) used to be WAY better. If you'd like, pLeaSe, send me a PM and I will send you the original chapters to read! I ProMiSe It's going to be worth it! They were so much nicer, I had worked hours on them… :(

CHAPTER 07 – Blood Moon

Day 2. Early Night

Alec moved close to the shadows remaining unseen. He emptied his mind of all thoughts. 'Focus on breathing… Inhale, Exhale. In, out. Don't think… Just breathe…' Right now (or ever again) he didn't want to see anyone… 'but him…' He didn't want to disappoint anyone else again… 'like him…' He didn't want them to see how weak he truly was… 'Weak… Useless… A disappointment…' He bit back a sob. 'Breath!' He ordered. 'There is still something I have to do…'

He knew that if his plan failed, and they saw through his lie, they would track him and make him come home, and he couldn't have that. He never wanted to return again, he just wished everyone would forget him so he could die without hurting anyone… The only person that had made him feel special, had now abandoned him. 'What else is there left in my wretched life but its end?'

He didn't intend to actually kill himself, but when the next demon attacked, he knew he wouldn't be able to fend it off. He knew he wouldn't want to. If he told his family all that happened they'd just say "It's no big deal, you lived just fine before him." But that would be a lie. Before him, he was merely alive. Breathing, eating, killing, sleeping. He wasn't living, just existing. Back then, he didn't mind, because he didn't know what being alive really meant. But now he knew. And he wouldn't go back to that life. He couldn't. Not anymore. Magnus brought colour into his life, and now everything felt gray and dull. And painful. So painful…

So he knew; he wasn't going to make it much longer. He was going to die soon, and he didn't mind. He was dead already, as he was before. But he didn't want to hurt anyone else. His mother had lost a child already. He knew Izzy adored him, (though he often wondered why) and Jace was his Parabatai… If their bond broke, it would surely cause him pain…

'Or not?'

Even his own mind was working against him. Just when he thought he was loved by at least his family, doubt crept into his thoughts poisoning them. 'Would they really care? Why would they? I am insignificant… Always had been… I– It doesn't matter.' he countered the dark thoughts 'Even if they don't care, I am not taking any chances.' With that he pushed all thoughts aside and went to find himself a Warlock. The easiest way to do that would be to ask around in a Downworlder bar. And that he did. He picked the first one on his way. Its glamour looked like an abandoned warehouse, but beneath it, there was a gothic-style building with black walls and red windows. A huge sign decorated with a crimson crescent moon, half hidden behind clouds, read "Blood Moon".

He entered the bar, wincing, when he realised the flaw in his plan. The song Burn, by Cure, reached his ears. "Angel… I forgot about the music…" He froze at the entrance considering heavily to turn his back and run away. Why did this feel so spot on? 'No… there is something I can do…' he thought as a response to the lyrics 'Something I Must do.'

"Damn these stupid mundanes and their obsession with turning perfectly fine melodies into waves of pain…" he muttered annoyed, taking his steele out. He started burning runes on his skin. Only one rune to be exact, the Fortitude one. He drew two to each arm and then one more on his neck. He wasn't sure if the quantity was really going to make a difference, but it did make him feel a little better… Maybe belief was all that mattered…

Two minutes later, he still stood by the entrance, breathing heavily, waiting for the song to end, and hoping that the next one would be neutral. However, he realised as soon as, "Goodbye Gate 21" started, he wasn't going to be so lucky. At least the rune helped him keep it together, he never expected going to that bar would be such an ordeal…And he didn't even know, that somewhere, too close, the cause of his suffering, lied in a corner trying to drink his own sorrow away and also cringing to a different part of the lyrics. He turned to leave. This was too much. 'What kind of sadistic human would write these things and why?!' "Goodbye, goodbye…" "No. I have to do this…" He whispered in the darkness steeling himself. "It's the only way."

Just as the song ended, he realised he really had it easy until then. The next one was called "What Happened to us." He gasped. That was too much. He practically ran to the Dj, asking in an exasperated voice . "Please change the song!" "What if I don't want to?" he challenged, and Alec sighed and drove a knife through the counter. "Please." "Tough crowd today" murmured the Dj, while changing the song hastily once again. Losing my Religion. "Really?" he asked incredulously but the Dj just shrugged, and the Nephilim let it go and turned to the barwoman. "Is there any Warlock here I can talk to?" She looked towards a dark corner, where a heap was slumped, but immediately shook her head, reconsidering. It'd be such a waste if that pretty kid went up in flames for disturbing him. Even if he was a Shadowhunter. Alec followed her gaze, but the shadows were too deep. "This way" she said drawing his attention back to her, just as the 'heap' raised his head looking their way. Fate would not have it though, and Magnus couldn't make out anything, his vision blurred from all the drinking and the tears, and Alec made his way to the dark booth he was pointed to, unnoticed.

The booth's walls were black, covered with heavy crimson, velvet curtains which also served to separate the room from the rest of the premises. In the middle of the room, was a big carved mahogany table and right behind it, a red velvet couch where, a hooded figure dressed in black was slumped lazily, tangling a blood red drink in its slender fingers…

Hope you liked it, please let me know what you thought! More coming soon! Really soon, as in the next few hours, if I don't fall asleep on my laptop…

P.S: I re-vamped the first chapter a little, adding some stuff in the second paragraph, if you are interested.

Fortitude Rune: This rune provides a warrior with unshakable resolve, will, inner strength; the strength of mind that enables a Nephilim to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage. (Rune description from wikipedia.)