The Chance of Love

Chapter 13

"You can explain?"Adrian asked, but his tone made everyone in the room shiver. It wasn't going to end well.

"It's not what it looks like."

"It's not what it looks like? Really Bilbo, that's the best you've got?"

Theo, who was still in Adrian's arms, watched the whole thing without making a sound.

"What do you want me to say?! Thorin came and he just-"

"You know what? I don't have to listen to this." He put Theo down and went to the door with Bilbo hurrying after him with only a sheet wrapped around him.

"Please, let me explain…" he pleaded, but Adrian pulled away every time Bilbo tried to reach him.

"Explain what exactly?"

"This isn't my fault! Thorin, he-"

"He what? Forced himself on you? We're all adults, let's stop playing games. We all knew what happened here. And you know what? I'm glad it did, because I got to know the real you. You say Thorin is a horrible person, but don't think you're any better than him. At least he has the decency not to lie about it. I really hope you two will be happy together in hell." He spat the last part and left, closing the door behind him with so much force that Bilbo flinched.

Bilbo let out a sigh as he leaned his forehead against the door. This could have gone better, but it could also be a lot worse. For now he didn't want or need to think about what would have happened. It was over. A part of him was relieved. Now he and Thorin… It only took him a moment to remember that he completely forgot about the fact that Thorin witnessed the whole thing.

He turned toward him and their eyes met, and the look Thorin sent him made him flinch. Thorin wasn't even trying to hide his hurt. They stood frozen for almost a minute before Thorin pulled on his shirt. It was the last piece of clothing he had to put on before he would leave – and Bilbo knew he was going to leave. He didn't even notice Thorin putting on the rest of the clothes.

Thorin grabbed his phone and wanted to leave, but Bilbo blocked his way.

"Thorin, please…"

Thorin refused to meet his eyes. "Get out of my way," he said lowly.

"Please, just listen to me. Thorin, please, stop." Bilbo put himself between Thorin and the door, knowing it was the only way he could stop him. He gently took hold of Thorin's arms and tried to make him change his mind, but Thorin shrugged them away as if Bilbo's touch has burned him. "Please, let's talk about it…"

"Just get out of my way!"

"Not until we talk. I know what I said, but I didn't mean it. Thorin, please, look at me."

Thorin pulled Bilbo's hand away the moment it touched his cheek and looked him in the eyes. "Get out of my way," he hissed at him.

"No! Not until we talk!" Bilbo threw himself at Thorin wrapping his arms tightly around pleading him to stay so they could talk. But Thorin wasn't bulging and Bilbo was sinking lower and lower until he was on his knees with his arms around Thorin's legs asking him to stay and fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

Thorin wasn't buying it. He grabbed his arms and pulled him up. "Stop with the dramatics, will you. The kid already lives in a dysfunctional family, you don't want him to think this is normal as well. You don't have the right to make me feel sorry for you. Not this time."

Bilbo tried to wipe his tears away as fast as he could. "Can't we talk?"

Thorin shook his head. "No. Not here and especially not right now."

"Please, you have to understand, I couldn't-"

"What?" snapped Thorin, "tell him the truth?"

Bilbo quickly sobered up. "You're not a saint either. The only difference is that you weren't caught!"

"I have to admit that you are an excellent actor. Why am I not surprised? I mean, what was I thinking? Trusting you… A mistake I don't intend to repeat!" And with that Thorin finally pushed passed him and left the room, forcefully closing the doors behind him.

Bilbo's mask fell, there was no need to pretend anymore. He was alone. Again. With the two-year old who kept looking at him with wide eyes.

"Hungry."

"Argh." Bilbo fell on the bed and closed his eyes. The day was a disaster.

:::

It was two days later when Bofur found him. He was following Theo around the playground, watching that the two-year-old didn't accidentally hurt himself, when Bofur joined them. The whole thing was awkward since Bofur just stood there for a couple of minutes, not really knowing what to do. And it irritated Bilbo so much!

"I have a headache," snapped Bilbo as he caught Theo once again as he came down the slide. And to make things worse, his back was killing him. Theo was getting heavy. He kept an eye on his son as he spoke to Bofur. "If you came here to gloat, I'm warning you – I'm not in the mood."

Bofur lifted his hands in surrender, not wanting to be intrusive. "I just came to check on you."

"As you can see I'm perfectly fine."

"Just fine."

"Yes, Bofur, just fine!"

"Hey, you don't need to yell at me. I get it, you don't want me to be around."

Bofur turned around and he was about to walk away when Bilbo called him back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't-"

"Yeah, you shouldn't," agreed Bofur, and sat down next to Bilbo. "Lately you yell at me every time we see each other."

Bilbo leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. "It's not you, it's-"

"Thorin," finished Bofur. "I know. Ever since you two slept together, you haven't been the same."

"I have a kid if you haven't noticed. Of course I'm not the same."

"Even before you had Theo. You started acting differently."

"That's low coming from you. You're not a saint either. We used to be friends and then you changed."

Bofur was quiet for a moment. "I apologized for lying to you, I apologized for everything, but you still rejected me every time."

"I can't be anything more than a friend to you-"

"I never asked you to be anything more than my friend."

"Bofur…"sighed Bilbo.

"I know, I know. I was in love with you, and you were in love with Thorin. All I wanted was for you to give me a chance… Which turned out to be a disaster."

"Bofur, you have to understand that I could never return your feelings. You are a dear friend, but-"

"You love Thorin," finished Bofur. "We both did some stupid things, but we used to be friends. Do you think we could go back to that?"

"Are you going to continue givng me bad advice?" laughed Bilbo.

"What are you talking about? I give excellent advice."

And suddenly things between them changed, became more relaxed, just like they were when they were just friends. No lies or deceits between them. And Bilbo felt like he could finally talk to someone again.

The moment was broken when Theo came asking for his juice and kept his eyes on Bofur the whole time he was drinking. Once he was finished, he walked away without thanking and Bilbo just rolled his eyes as he watched Theo go.

"Amazing," said Bofur who was gaping after Theo.

"What is?"

"I know that look. I've seen that look. And I don't like that look," quickly said Bofur. "He was glaring at me and there is only one more person with that look."

"I know," sighed Bilbo. "He's more difficult with each passing day. He hasn't seen Thorin in a few days and he thinks that if he throws a fit Thorin will magically present himself." He shook his head. "He's used to spending time with Thorin and I know he misses him, but there's nothing I can do. I haven't seen in a few days and I don't think he'll come near me until he calms down."

"Well, he's definitely Thorin's. There's no doubt about it. Have you thought about calling him? Ask him to come?"

Bilbo sent him a look. Of course he called Thorin, but as expected Thorin didn't answer. He could only hope that Thorin will get over their argument soon and come. If not for him, at least for Theo, who was clearly missing him and wanted to spend time with him, or just wanted someone who will do whatever he wanted.

"I will take your silence as a no."

"No, I did call him," quickly objected Bilbo. "But we're not exactly on speaking terms."

"And Adrian?"

Bilbo groaned. "I don't know. He was upset and he left. We didn't really have a chance to talk."

It was written all over Bofur's face that he didn't agree with Bilbo. "How about instead of talking you apologize to them?" Bilbo crossed his arms over his chest and sulked like a child. "You do know it's your fault, don't you?"

Bilbo gaped at him. "It's not only my fault!" he protested. "Thorin-"

"Leave Thorin out of this," interrupted Bofur. "You used to be fair and just. Lately you blame everyone except you. What if you, just this once, do the right thing and apologize to both?"

"See, this is why I decided to ignore you. You think you're right, but this time you're not!"

"You're acting like a child!"

"I'm acting like a child?" laughed Bilbo. This was absurd. He wasn't the one to blame!

"Yes, you!" Bofur raised his voice attracting a few stares, Theo's included. "You toyed with both of them. While Thorin decided to play along, Adrian got hurt for no reason. He really cared for you and Theo, he accepted you both, but you just used him to make Thorin jealous. And Thorin decided to play along with you, knowing it was just a matter of time before it would all blow up in your face and you ended up with him again."

"And then you blame me, when you just told me Thorin used me," argued Bilbo.

"You didn't let me finish. I don't know what went wrong, but something clearly did since both of them are ignoring you. I know Thorin and I know his tolerance when it comes to your mood swings and judging by his reaction you really pissed him off. I'm telling you this as a friend – you need to apologize to him, and to Adrian as well."

:::

Bilbo wasn't going to apologize to Thorin, at least not yet. But as the days went by, he was slowly losing his patience. If a few months ago he was completely fine with taking care of Theo all by himself, that wasn't the case anymore. His son missed Thorin, and he missed Thorin taking care of Theo. Just for a few hours, it was enough so that he could relax and think about other things. He needed time for himself and he needed it fast.

"Theo, that's enough!" Bilbo lost his patience when Theo threw his spoon in the soup he prepared for the third time that evening. He used a napkin to wipe his face and his hands. "If you're finished, you can go."

Theo studied Bilbo for a moment before lifting his hands up, asking to be let out of the chair. Once on the floor it didn't take long before he busied himself with his toys.

They didn't speak much. Bilbo washed the dishes and changed Theo in his pajamas before he put him down for the day and decided to some school work.

But he couldn't keep his concentration for long because Theo couldn't sleep. It wasn't an hour after he was put to bed that Theo was up. He clutched to his toy as he made his way to the table where Bilbo was studying.

Bilbo immediately recognized the look his son was giving him and he lifted him in his arms. Theo didn't try to fight it anymore and he let the tears fall freely. "I want daddy," he sobbed in Bilbo shirt.

Bilbo didn't know what to say. Thorin wasn't answering his phone, at least not when he was calling so it was clear as a day that he was still upset. But Theo needed him.

"Okay, let's go find daddy," Bilbo smiled to his son, hoping to cheer him up.

He had no idea how will he be received. Maybe Thorin will yell at him or just tell him to leave, but he hoped that at least by seeing him Theo will calm down.

He knocked on the doors hoping Thorin would answer, but unfortunately it was one of his roommates.

"Is Thorin in?"

"He's in his room," came a curt reply before he was invited in.

Theo immediately pointed to Thorin's room and Bilbo couldn't help but to smile at his son's enthusiasm. He knocked and waited for the invitation to enter.

Thorin was leaning over his book, but the moment Theo called for him, his head snapped up.

"Daddy!" called Theo and reached for him. Bilbo's and Thorin's eyes met and by the dark look Thorin was giving him, he knew that he still wasn't forgiven.

Thorin stood up and took Theo from Bilbo's arms. "He missed you," explained Bilbo as their son wrapped his arms around Thorin's neck, visibly happy that he was once again in his arms. "I tried calling you but you –"

" – I think you should go," interrupted Thorin.

"Go?" asked Bilbo confused. "But we just got here."

"I didn't say anything about Theodore."

"Yeah, but I thought – "

" – He can stay," said Thorin calmly.

Bilbo tried to hide the hurt as he took a few steps back. "I'll just come to pick him up –"

" – No. I'll come."

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning then. If you need anything -," Bilbo tried to offer.

" – Goodbye Bilbo."

The look in Thorin's eyes told him everything. He nodded and left as quickly as he could, trying to hold back his tear. The moment he was back to his room, he locked the doors, fell on the bed and cried himself to sleep.

:::

As promised, Thorin brought Theo back early next morning. But he was gone as quickly as he came and Bilbo didn't even have the chance to speak with him.

Thorin apparently decided to ignore him, because in the next few days, whenever he dropped Theo off Bilbo didn't even see him. He couldn't even wipe his hands after doing the dishes before Thorin was gone.

If Thorin didn't want to talk with him, he will force him to talk. He arranged a play date for Theo before he went looking for Thorin. Luckily it didn't take long to find him. Thorin was so predictable.

"We need to talk," said Bilbo firmly as sat himself across from him.

"We're in the library," reminded him Thorin calmly.

Of course Thorin was in the library. It was the last place Bilbo would think of to go look for him. That's why he decided to check there first.

Thorin pressed a finger to his lips, gesturing to stay quiet.

"You're avoiding me," hissed Bilbo.

"Shhhh," came from somewhere in the library and Bilbo rolled his eyes.

"We need to talk," repeated Bilbo, but Thorin just shook his head and focused back on the book. He wasn't fooling anyone, especially not Bilbo. "I'm not buying it, Thorin," he said quietly and pulled the book away from him.

"I don't care what you do or what you think. All I want is to be left alone." Thorin tried to pull the book back, but Bilbo stopped him.

"I said I was sorry."

"And I don't care."

"Fine. You don't care. You don't have to, but you have a son who misses you and yet you ignore him."

"Hey, you two love birds, take it outside."

"We're sorry," quickly apologized Thorin for both of them. "It won't happen again."

"I'm not done talking with you," angrily whispered Bilbo.

"But I am," stated Thorin firmly.

"If you refuse to talk to me, I'll make a scene!" threatened Bilbo with a low voice.

"Fine… We'll talk!"

"Great, I'll wait for you outside."

"Not now. Later. I'll stop by."

"You better."

:::

To Bilbo's surprise Thorin really did show up just in time for dinner. He half expected that he would have to force him to come. But Thorin did and he was in a surprisingly good mood. He even accepted the invitation to join them for dinner.

"Theo really loves having you here. I'm really happy that you came."

"You didn't exactly give me much of a choice," reminded him Thorin impatiently. "Look, I didn't come here to play house with you, so whatever you wanted to say to me let's get it over it. I want to spend some time with Theodore before he falls asleep and I'm guessing he won't be up for much longer."

Bilbo frowned. "I didn't know it was so difficult being in the same room with me."

"I'd like to keep my distance, if you don't mind. I got burned enough times as it is."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Bilbo, but Thorin didn't answer. He kept his eyes on him without saying a word. "Fine, let's talk about why I called you here! You have a responsibility here, if you have forgotten!"

"Lower your voice," said Thorin calmly.

"You have a son who needs both of his parents!"

"I'm well aware of that. That's why I'm here."

Argh! Thorin could drive Bilbo crazy when he wanted to. Especially when he was being all calm and collected.

"I hate you!"

"Hate is a powerful emotion."

"I'm glad you find it funny Thorin, because I don't."

"You don't see me laughing."

"You're so immature!" Bilbo spat back.

"I'm tired Bilbo and I'm not in the mood. I had enough of your outbursts and mood swings for a life time. I'm tired of you always playing the victim."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Thorin looked at him not knowing if Bilbo was serious or not. "It means that I'm always blamed for everything. You getting pregnant, us breaking up –"

"I never blamed –" tried to interrupt Bilbo.

"Never, huh? Then please what happened when Adrian walked in on us?"

Bilbo was quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say. "What was I supposed to say? I couldn't exactly ask him to join us, Theo was there!"

"You could have told him the truth," spat Thorin back.

"That we were sleeping together behind his back? You really are a genius! What gives you the right to judge me? You're engaged!"

"Again with this?!"

"Yes, again! You're engaged and you still slept with me. In my book that's even worse. You have no right to be angry at me because I was in a relationship. As a matter of fact the only one angry could be me."

"I explained everything weeks ago, I thought you understood."

"That you're marrying for money," added Bilbo angrily.

"I'm not playing this game anymore," sighed Thorin. "We tried dating and it didn't work out. We tried being friends, we tried sleeping together. It's not working. Maybe some things just aren't meant to be."

Bilbo suddenly didn't like the direction in which the conversation was going. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that we should focus on something we can do – we at least know how to be parents."

"You're still angry at me."

"I need some time alone to clear my head."

"Okay."

Thorin nodded in agreement. "If you don't mind, I'm going to take Theodore. I'll bring him back for breakfast, as always."

"He's your son too," smiled Bilbo weakly.

Thorin walked over to where Theo busied himself with his toys and lifted the boy in his arms. "I think I'll go home over the weekend. You're welcome to join me if you want."

"I think I will. I haven't spoken to my parents for weeks," Bilbo admitted sheepishly.

Thorin sent him a knowing look. "I'll see you in the morning."

Bilbo pressed a kiss to Theo's head before he and Thorin left.

Author's notes:

All mistakes are mine.