Matthew knew something is off right from the beginning. It was suspicious enough when he got no word from Alfred at all until a single email in his inbox on the day he was scheduled to arrive. 'My plane lands at 3pm. See you guys there.' That in itself was worrying to begin with, but when Matthew actually saw Alfred's expression in the airport, how he looked tired and how his slightly puffy eyes widened when they met Matthew's, quickly replacing his previously forlorn expression with a wide grin… Matthew knew for sure at that moment that something wasn't right. His worries were confirmed when his brother spoke only about work as they drove back to their parents' house; he laughed and hugged his parents as usual, smiled and teased like he always did, but Matthew could see right through him. He knew Alfred well enough to know when he was putting on an act. To others, he would seem like his normal self, but Matthew could see it; the change in his brother's behaviour, never wanting anyone to worry about him, acting as if everything was alright. Alfred would always just be slightly too happy. Smile a little too much, laugh a little too loudly and too often, making jokes at almost every opportunity and always act just slightly too jovial. Even when their parents and relatives asked about how he was doing in England, Alfred just laughed and complained about the stereotypical things people thought of when one mentioned 'England'. Always keeping the conversations aimed at him strictly to work. Matthew was glad to find that he wasn't the only one who had noticed. Their mother laughed along as usual but she caught Matthew's eye as Alfred went to unpack and shared a very worried yet firm look; Matthew nodded slightly and decided that when the others went out for dinner and left Alfred home to recuperate from the journey- as per tradition- he would stay back as well and find out what had happened to his younger brother.

Alfred was half way through unpacking when Matthew knocked on the door and let himself in. To which Alfred gasped loudly, covered his already clothed chest and glared at Matthew with an incredulous expression.

"O.M.G Mattie you didn't even wait for me to say you could come in!" He shrieked in a very undignified manner. "I could have been indecent and you didn't give me nearly enough time to do anything! How could you?!"

"The only thing indecent here is that voice you're using. Geeze Al, I'm a human not a dog, turn down the pitch." Matthew chuckled and smoothly grabbed a pillow before throwing it at Alfred and hitting him square in the face. Alfred just snorted and carried on unpacking his clothes.

"So has everyone else already left?" Alfred chirped.

"Yep. Thought I'd keep you company. Seeing as I know you won't be doing any sleeping anyway." They both laughed as Matthew sat down on a free space on Alfred's bed; he watched for a while as his brother unpacked, only half listening to whatever the younger man was on about. Even now Matthew could see that Alfred was trying too hard; and as much as he wanted to ease his brother into talking, he knew that Alfred wouldn't be direct with him unless Matthew was direct from the beginning.

"Something happened, didn't it?" The words cut through the air and froze Alfred where he stood by the closet.

"I dunno, did it?" Alfred chuckled after a long silence, hanging up a shirt. "You've been here longer than I have. Is Uncle Sammy drunk again before they've even gone to dinner? I swear, that guy can really put it away! You remember that time with the-"

"I was talking about you Alfred." Matthew interrupted before his brother could steer the conversation somewhere else.

"Me? I haven't had a drop yet, dude, I practically only just got here!"

"In England, Alfred."

"What about England?"

"Something happened. Tell me what happened."

"Wh- Nothing happened Matt." Alfred paused. "You were right, I guess, I didn't pack everything in time and I panicked last minute, is that what you wanted to hear? Go ahead and give me the 'I told you so' then, go on!"

"You're being awfully defensive for nothing having happened-"

"Nothing happened!"

"Alfred, if you're going to lie to me you could at least have the decency to look at me when you do." Matthew said calmly and silence fell between them again. Alfred kept his back to Matthew for a while before suddenly slamming the door to his closet shut. He spun round and glared at his older brother, his expression set in a deep frown as he grit his teeth. Matthew looked at Alfred calmly. "Tell me what happened, Alfred. Please." Matthew said in a gentle voice. They looked at each other in silence for a short time before Alfred finally sighed in defeat, dropping his previous guise completely as he slowly plodded over to sit next to Matthew on the bed. Alfred sighed again and hunched over, resting his head in his hands.

"E-everything went wrong. Matt..." He managed, sounding much weaker than before; Alfred's voice was shaking a little, it was clearly very painful for him to talk about it. "I ruined it. You were right." Matthew's eyes softened sadly and gently placed a consoling hand on Alfred's shoulder. Alfred just gave a small, bitter laugh. "I'm still waiting for that 'I told you so' Mattie."

"I'm not going to say that, Al." Matthew replied in a soft tone, rubbing Alfred's back soothingly.

Alfred had stood up at some point during his explanation, pacing around in front of Matthew and gesturing wildly as he told his brother everything that happened; it was clear that he was distressed about the whole situation, trying to make sense of it all.

"I mean, I didn't say anything too bad! I didn't overstep any boundaries or anything! ... I think…" Alfred groaned in frustration and carried on pacing, his mouth going a mile a minute. "Oh God who am I kidding!? Of course I was gonna make him snap one day! I was so stupid, what the hell is wrong with me! I was way too forceful about asking him stuff and I always backed him into a corner when he finally told me anything! He was probably only telling me cause he just wanted me to leave, he could have been lying to me the whole damn time and like hell I'd be able to tell cause I'm so dense Jesus H Christ I'm so fucking dense I couldn't even take the freaking hint!" Alfred rambled and ranted and didn't give any pause for his brother to jump in, leaving Matthew sitting on the bed as he just waited for Alfred to get it all out.

"Alfred-"

"All this time I thought I was getting closer to him and learning things about him and I've bared my effing soul to this guy y'know? I've told him so much about me and thought that he was doing the same thing! I thought I was finally getting this guy to open up and let me in and actually trust me and I thought-"

"Alfred, slow down for a sec." Matthew finally cut in successfully and paused to let Alfred take a breath. "Al, I know you need to get this out but…" He tried to find the right words to say so he wouldn't hurt Alfred's feelings. "You do understand why this happened right?" He asked and Alfred shuffled his feet and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Y-yeah. At least, I think so. I just pushed a little too far. I crossed boundaries and made him feel cornered. I'm the one in the wrong." Alfred said quietly.

"Also he's just a dick." Matthew added flatly, coaxing out the first real small chuckle from Alfred he had heard since he'd arrived. Alfred appreciated how protective his brother was of him; however, he knew that Arthur wouldn't have usually been so harsh. Something really had been bothering him that day. Matthew carried on speaking, focusing Alfred's attention again.

"Al, I'm going to brutally honest with you this time, okay? Seeing as you seemed really serious about this guy." Matthew told him and Alfred nodded; usually his brother would have gone on the defensive, calling whatever person who hurt Alfred a big jerk who didn't know what they were missing. "Arthur was obviously a moron and didn't know a good thing when he saw it. Especially seeing as he was so oblivious about your affections. He had no right to treat you that way." Alfred smiled slightly at Matthew's reassuring words. There it was; the protective older brother he knew and loved. But Matthew wasn't done though; he'd promised no sugar-coating after all.

"Thanks Matt…"

"However." Matthew continued. "You're also at fault as well. I know you're a forward person to begin with, but you forgot about other people's limits. Not everyone can handle your kind of straightforward affection. At least not right off the bat." He said gently. Out of habit, Alfred became a little defensive.

"But that's what I was trying to do… I was slowly getting him used to it."

"That's the next thing, Al." Matthew sighed. "The whole… Scheme you thought up."

"Scheme?"

"That's the only word I can think of to describe it as." Matthew shrugged awkwardly. "Hear me out, Al. You wanted to get close to this guy, fair enough. But you went the completely wrong way about it."

"But I-"

"I'm honestly… Not very surprised that it turned out like this."

"Hey, c'mon man-"

"I'm sorry, Alfred, but it's like you had an ulterior motive every time you went to talk to him." Matthew told him, holding his fingers to his temple, as if baffled by the very thought of Alfred's actions. "Practically scheming and plotting to get close to this guy, going out of your way to visit him at work where you know he wouldn't be able to go anywhere, and doing everything you could to get close to him and get under his skin."

"Woah-"

"Alfred do you even realise how creepy that sounds when you say it out loud?"

"I wasn't-!"

"It was borderline stalking, Alfred."

"It wasn't like that!" Alfred yelled over him and Matthew flinched; at that point, it was clear to Matthew that he was the one who had gone a little too far this time. "Matt you know it wasn't like that! Christ, man, you're my brother! You know me! You know I'm not like that and it's not that simple!" He shouted desperately. "Yeah, I told him things that weren't exactly true to get him to hang out with me, don't you think I feel bad enough for that already!? It was wrong of me but don't you dare tell me that I plotted to get close to him! That's fucking sick and not right and you know it! You think I lied about everything? You think I wasn't completely truthful with every time I was worried about him or happy to see him or just being able to just stand there and talk with him for a while about shit that didn't even matter!? You think that I would just make all that up!? You think that I just pretended to care about that stuff and how I enjoyed being with him!? You think that didn't mean anything to me!?" Alfred's voice was started to shake as he raised his volume, sounding utterly frantic. "It meant the fucking world to me, Matt! Every time I saw him, every time he'd talk to me, or smile, or laugh! Don't you dare try to tell me that I didn't feel anything for him or that what I felt wasn't real or wasn't genuine don't you dare!"

"Alfred…" Matthew said softly, barely above a whisper. Alfred sounded like he was on the verge of tears; this was tearing him apart.

"I cared about him! I really did! But I was stupid and childish and annoying and dense and I couldn't see that I was upsetting him! How could I have ever thought that he would feel the same way, right!? I was just seeing things that weren't there! I could have at least stayed being his friend but I just had to go and fuck it up! I'm stupid I'm so fucking stupid and I know that! I just wish I could have done it differently but it's too late now and I hate how I can't do anything about it and I hate that this is how I have to walk away from it!" He shouted and clenched his mouth shut, gritting his teeth and keeping his gaze strictly at the floor. Matthew stared at his little brother with wide eyes, watching as Alfred tried to catch his breath. Matthew's expression softened sadly, feeling his chest clench tight with sympathy and guilt; this wasn't something Alfred could control, and it wasn't something that he would be able to get over easily either. There was nothing either of them could do to really help Alfred at that point, because the worst had fallen on his little brother and he was only just starting to see it.

"Oh God, Alfred…" He said softly, causing Alfred to look up with a broken expression that Matthew could only answer with sympathy. "You… You really did, actually love him… didn't you?"

Alfred's whole world stopped as his breath caught in his throat; his chest tightened painfully as he looked at Matthew with wide eyes, frozen where he stood. And he realised…

He did love Arthur.

Oh God how he loved him.

And now it was too late. He'd ruined everything.

Alfred's eyes suddenly welled up and before he knew it, he was crying. Properly crying; something he hadn't done for a very long time, especially when someone was with him. It was quiet at first, but soon heartfelt sobs filled the room. Matthew watched sadly for a moment as Alfred hiccupped and cried, covering his eyes and furiously wiping away tears, even though it was completely futile. Matthew stood up and slowly pulled his brother into a tight embrace, rubbing his back soothingly and trying to calm him down.

"I'm sorry Alfred…" He murmured gently as Alfred wrapped his arms around him and cried into his shoulder, gripping his shirt. "I'm so sorry…"

Arthur sighed for the umpteenth time that day and slumped on the counter; weekday evenings were always slow. He watched the few straggling customers meandering around the shop floor, his eyes glided over them to land on the building's entrance again.

Arthur hadn't seen Alfred since their fall-out. Though honestly, 'fall-out' was the wrong word. Arthur had seen neither hide nor tail of Alfred since Arthur had verbally attacked him. The very thought of what he had done to Alfred would never fail to leave a bad taste in his mouth. As much as he tried to keep his mind off it, Arthur worked in a daze, still serving customers and fulfilling his duties but always glancing every now and then to the entrance of the shop, always waiting to see something that wouldn't be there. It was stupid of him to even hope, but foolish men were allowed to dream regardless.

Francis' voice cut through Arthur's daze, leaning on the counter next to him.

"No sunny American today either?"

"Shut up Francis."

"He hasn't visited in a while."

"Francis."

"I do hope nothing's happened to him. He's such a lovely boy."

"That's enough."

"You two are usually attached at the hip."

"I told you to be quiet."

"Either that or he's following you around like a lovesick puppy."

"That's enough Francis!" Arthur snapped. "What do you care if he's shopping here or not? He's just another customer in the crowd! Moreover, why the hell do you think that I would care in the slightest whether or not he shops here!?" Francis gave a soft yet clearly smug smile at Arthur's outburst. He sighed and leant his back on the counter, thankful that it was nearing the end of the day and not many people were in the shop.

"Although if I do remember correctly, the young man did say something about not being around for a while…" He mused and smirked to himself when Arthur perked up and seemed instantly interested in what he had to say.

"What was it?" Arthur asked.

"What was what?"

"What did he say?"

"Hmm?" Francis hummed with a smile, feigning ignorance.

"Tell me what Alfred said dammit!" Arthur snapped harshly and Francis laughed.

"Alright, alright, no need to get hostile." Arthur's glare was dark enough to make Francis fear his own well-being and so he quickly cleared his throat and folded his arms. "I believe it was something about visiting his family." Francis nodded and Arthur frowned deeper.

"And what the hell do you know about his family?" He grumbled and Francis chuckled at Arthur's reaction.

"You do know that you are not the only person that Mr Jones associates with?" Francis raised a delicate eyebrow at how the other's man's body language became sheepish. "I have served him a few times. He's quite a chatterbox, wouldn't you agree?" Francis could have sworn he'd seen a small fond smile appear on Arthur's lips. "In any case, it seemed to be quite a big celebration. Mr Jones was certainly very excited for the event." He chuckled at the memory and Arthur frowned in thought.

"The fourth of July…" Arthur mumbled softly. Francis snapped his fingers and nodded.

"Yes! That was what it was! Very big in America isn't it?" Francis laughed to himself.

"It's their Independence Day, of course it's important." Arthur rolled his eyes but Francis just smiled.

"Ah, of course, of course. No wonder young Mr Jones was so excited about it." Francis nodded, resting his hand on his chin to seem much more outwardly thoughtful than he was. "It also coincides with his birthday I believe." The manager nodded slowly with a soft smile like that of a proud uncle. Arthur however, seemed to be frozen in horror.

"What did you just say?" Arthur asked, his voice seeming a little strained.

"Hm? Oh, I remember Mr Jones loudly exclaiming such when I served him. Something about celebrating his birthday with his family, and how it was such a large event because it landed on the fourth of July." Francis smiled and turned as a customer approached his till. "It seemed to me that he couldn't contain his excitement!"

Arthur let Francis serve his customer, turning away slowly and making it look like he was doing something under his till; in reality, Arthur had just lost almost all the feeling in his legs. He struggled to keep his breathing slow as he let the new information sink in; he remembered now. He remembered something that Alfred had told him months ago when his brother had visited him. Suddenly the reason why Alfred seemed so happy and excited and eager to go out celebrating with Arthur the last time he saw him was so clear it was almost garish. Alfred knew Arthur wouldn't celebrate Independence Day; he knew that Arthur had nothing to do with it. But who could deny the man wanting to celebrate his own birthday? No, this wasn't about Independence Day.

It was his birthday. Alfred wanted to celebrate his birthday with Arthur before he left. He had come to Arthur so happy and hopeful and ready to have a good time but had dropped everything for him when he thought something might have been wrong. And what did Arthur do? He yelled at him. Cut him down. He pushed him away like he had done before with so many others. He had destroyed the one thing he could have called a friendship in over 5 years and all because he had been stupid and scared.

"Arthur? Are you alright?" Francis' voice startled him slightly and Arthur realised that his breathing had become slightly irregular. Francis came over to where Arthur was still crouched by the underside of his till, hesitantly placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Arthur swallowed hard and shook his head slowly.

"I-I'm fine, really. I just-um… I don't feel well." He stammered quietly as Francis helped him up. "I'm sorry. I think I just need to sit down for a moment." Arthur was glad that not many people were around to see his embarrassment. Francis glanced at the clock and sighed, placing a hand on his hip and scratching the back of his head.

"Well. I can't have you collapsing. It will be bad for business if anyone sees." Francis smiled slightly when Arthur barked a soft laugh. "Go upstairs, Arthur. Have some water and sit down. We'll take care of things here. I can't let you leave yet but go and rest, alright?" He smiled softly. "It may give you some more time to clear your thoughts." Arthur stared at his manager for a moment in surprise before nodding slightly and murmuring a small 'thank you'; he left the shop floor and went to sit in the staff room. Francis wasn't kidding when he said that he'd take care of things; Natalia came to see him half an hour later to make sure that he was alright, sitting down in the chair across from him. It was a little funny how even when his boss was being considerate and concerned about his welfare, Arthur still found The woman incredibly intimidating.

"You've been working incredibly hard recently Arthur." She said somewhat seriously, leaning her arms on the table lightly. "I've been giving you a few more double shifts and such because we needed the numbers and I know that I can count on you. However, you haven't turned down a single shift this entire year, as far as I can remember. I hope that everything's alright but you are aware that you can turn down some hours if you really don't feel up to it."

"I-I know Natalia. I'm sorry, usually I'm completely fine to work any hours but..." Arthur paused for a moment and sighed, dragging a hand down his face. "Maybe it's all catching up with me. I promise I'll keep doing my best-"

"There's no need Arthur. We don't want you to collapse. What we do want however," Natalia smiled slightly. "Is for you to look after yourself. You have an hour and a half left of your shift and we can cover you for that. Sign out downstairs and go get some rest, alright?"

Arthur would admit that he found his managers' concern and consideration fairly touching. It was true for the most part; Arthur had been working extra hard –though for the wrong reasons, he supposed- and had not turned down any opportunity of work for months. Arthur smiled slightly in appreciation as he made his way through the car park and unlocked his car door. The thing still worked, thank God, but it was no mystery to Arthur why he had stopped driving it; it had nothing to do with the damn car acting up in the slightest. It just served to annoy him whenever he thought about how easily Arthur slipped into the habit of taking the bus to work.

When Arthur got home, he was relieved to finally be able to lie down and relax for a little while; however, his mind still wasn't at rest. He still felt guilty for being so awful to Alfred.

'It doesn't matter so much!' Arthur tried to reason with himself. 'Alfred is a grown man, he can handle it. It was his fault for being so stubborn in the first place. Any normal person would have been able to take the hint if someone wanted to just be alone.' He tried to focus on other things for a while but his mind always went back to Alfred. He thought about how he had taken Alfred's smile away, how he had completely tore him down, taken his kindness and threw it back in his face. And then his mind started taking a different path than usual.

What if it hadn't just been Arthur's imagination? What if, somewhere along the line, they really had developed feelings for each other? What would it have been like? Arthur couldn't help wondering.

When he thought about it… It didn't seem like such a bad thing to happen. It could be fairly wonderful, if he thought it over. Alfred was kind and caring, not to mention selfless and sweet. Oh Alfred wasn't perfect by any means of the word, he was only human after all and his cons were rather large as well as noticeable when weighed against his pros. However, there certainly were pros. Alfred was cute and funny despite all his faults and interesting and strangely intelligent if you got him talking about his field. They could talk for hours quite happily, that much was already clear. No… It didn't seem that bad at all.

Arthur found that he was smiling fondly and sighed, getting up to make himself some tea and food. There was little point in thinking about it now. He had already burnt his bridges, just like he'd done so many times before. He had really ruined what could have been wonderful, it could have been such a good thing but he was too proud and too stupid to realise it. Now it was all over before it even began. Arthur sighed softly. He had to at least apologise; he had no idea where Alfred lived and there was no way that he would be able to find where the American worked, so finding him was out of the question. Arthur would just have to pray that Alfred would come back to the shop; he'd wait months if he had to. Arthur had to apologise to Alfred, no matter what.

It wasn't until mid-September, when he saw Alfred Jones again while he was working.

Hey there Chappy choos! Time for another installment of 'why am I writing this?' q7q A little Canadian and French intervention in this chapter, though maybe not in the way you hoped. Thank you so much again for sticking with this story and for all your wonderful reviews; they really mean the world to me and keep inspiring me to write and keep this story going! Thank you all for supporting me and these two precious boys and as always, reviews are my life blood and I try to answer every single one uwu I hope you enjoyed this chapter and see you all in the next one! -Lolo